Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Thank you for your service. May you forever be Worthy of Trust and Confidence

J. Hlavay

March 25, 2021

Rest well my brother. Thank you for your service .

Lieutenant Raymond Flores
NYPD (retired)

December 27, 2019

Hi Honey, It's been said that time heals all wounds but I beg to differ. My love for you is just as strong as the day you left us. But after 10 years Caitlin can finally speak your name and we often belly laugh at "Dad stories"... She's an awesome young woman that would make you very proud and is finally graduating with her B.S. tomorrow. You will be with us as she "walks". Please watch over and keep our baby girl safe. My love is steadfast.

Kathy Smith
Surviving widow

May 15, 2019

Rest in peace my brother. God bless your family and make them stronger each day for your loss.

Lieutenant Ray Flores
NYPD (retired)

December 27, 2017

Eleven years ago today you went down and our world would never be the same. When we rushed into the Cardiac/ICU wing at Crawford Long Hospital Caitlin and I knew the situation was 'dire', but like everyone else we were confident you would pull through. After all we'd fought through with my chronic medical problems and Caitlin's we not only survived, but came out stronger. You had the best and brightest physicians and science and technology on your side and an army of prayer warriors. You put up a valiant fight for every breath and heart beat that came from your broken body and I thanked God for every single one of them. To this day I'm unsure if anyone truly understands how or why your survival for those 33 months and 3 days was a blessing for me and Caitlin, not a burden.

My faith in God grew exponentially during those trying months, through the joy , agony, and tears. I continue to travel the highest peaks of the mountain tops and the lowest, darkest, loneliest path of the valleys searching for my new 'normal', wondering if I will ever find it. One thing I know for sure is that I will never love again because I can never stop loving you, not even for a day. It's been eleven years and I still cry every day. I don't care if people think that's messed up. Besides, they don't bother to ask any more and if they did I wouldn't share. Our love was too sweet to share.

Caitlin speaks your name a little more often, but stills holds her feelings very tight. I long for the day when she opens up about "Dad"....

Kathy

Kathy Smith
Surviving Spouse

March 25, 2016

I've typed thousands of messages in this black box with the last word ending in 'delete'.... We recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and that one was a real tearjerker. I keep most of the hurt hidden safely away in my dark place, partly in fear of disappointing or embarrassing you. But let me tell you honey, it ain't easy after loving a man like you. I'm still madly in love with you and can't imagine another man's hands touching mine. Am I progressing thru the stages of grief 'normally'? Don't know - don't care.

Caitlin still refuses to speak your name and basically acts like you never existed. When confronted her response is, "He's dead and gone..." How am I ever going to get this kid whole again. Her heart is so broken and, yes, she's very angry with you for leaving her, still. I long for the day when she's able to face the pain and begin healing. If only every little girl could be loved by a Dad like you, what a wonderful world it would be.

The battle with the Dept. of Justice & Workers' Comp is never ending. And I have little fight left to battle these beasts. I've reached out to COPS a couple of times to no avail, so I'll continue alone.

Saint Christopher and Saint Joseph: Please protect our baby girl.

Kathy Smith, surviving spouse

November 20, 2015

I had the opportunity to work with Chris on several occasions during our time in the Service. The thing I liked most about Chris was his unpretentious, easy going style that never let the frustrations of the moment get the best of him. He seemed to always keep things in perspective, and by so doing remind everyone around him that we were going to get through this difficult time.

In 2001 Chris and I were teamed up as part of a Secret Service advance team preparing for Vice President Gore's visit to Atlanta. Despite the long work hours, and change after change to scheduling, logistical requirements, and personnel, Chris maintained his patience with everyone and used his dry sense of humor to help overcome one challenge after another.

Rest in peace Chris, it was an honor and pleasure to work with you Brother.

Bill Highsmith
USSS

September 2, 2015

Oh Mac....
I love you for sharing this memory. Each time I look at the 'SWAT photo' I recall stories Chris shared of you, always with a big grin on his face. His time establishing the ATL ECTF and especially supervising the squad was, without a doubt, his most rewarding years in the USSS. He was in his element and surrounded by , "...the smartest, most dedicated group of agents in the country..." He was so proud of his ECTF Squad and 'The Lab'. Please give us a call some time. Caitlin would love to hear from you, as would I.

Kathy Smith
spouse

December 10, 2014

After three years, I am still discovering things that I misplaced after moving from DC to ATL. Today, I found a well-used ink pen that Chris gave me as a gift. I used that ink pen for all four years of my protection time, but somehow missed placed during my move.

Finding that pen reminded me the long hours that Chris and I worked, along with the good and the not so good times we had trying to get the lab up and running. I am currently a member of that task force, and I work in the forensic lab that Chris poured his heart into daily to make it successful.

Chris will be missed, but not forgotten.

Special Agent Harry M.

November 6, 2014

National Police Week has wound down this year and I pretended it never happened. The pain is still too real and you are still too gone. I don't know why I'm feeling a sense of guilt. My heart is heavy for other survivors but none of us wanted admission into this exclusive club. The price of admission is simply too high. You are with me always, every minute of every day.

Kathy Smith
surviving spouse

May 17, 2013

Hi Honey,
I know this site isn't a personal diary and try really, really hard to stay away. But some days just drag me here to let my fingers do the talking, knowing it would embarrass you. Today is Valentine's Day. 13 years have come and gone since we awoke in anticipation, wondering what surprise Dad had waiting. Yet, it seems only yesterday. Will it always be so fresh and raw? I think about the healing process and moving forward, only to find myself lost, searching frantically for the 'Starting Line'. We don't talk about you on these special days or any others. She isn't there yet. Her pain is unbearable and without doubt, the most difficult part of my journey. I often wonder, "What would Chris do...how would Dad handle the situation..," wanting to be a better Mom.
Not a single day passes that you don't consume me. At times I try desperately to kick you out, then other times become angry when I can't recall every specific detail in a memory. It's definitely the roller coaster ride from Hell.
And you are still here, in every room, behind every tree, in every flower petal, in the tool box, washing my car, fixing the blower, .....I just can't see you.

Kathy Smith, "surviving" spouse,
Saint Christopher, please stand watch over our baby girl "Caitlin"..I can't do it alone.

February 14, 2013

Agent Smith,
On today, the 5th anniversary of your death I would just like to say thank you for your years of dedicated service and sacrifice-not just as a LEO-but also when you served in the U.S. Armed Forces as well. And to your family and loved ones, I wish to extend my deepest sympathy.

R.I.P.
USBP

Anonymous
United States Border Patrol

December 27, 2012

Oct. 27 marked our 22nd wedding anniversary. We're still "one", just as God blessed the union on our special day. I pray for Saint Christopher to continue his faithful watch over Caitlin, fervently petitioning God to keep her safe, granting His mercy and grace.

Kathy Smith
surviving spouse

November 3, 2012

I am proud to see SA Smith honored on here and the DC National Police Memorial, a true patriot: a former NC Trooper, Soldier and husband of my dear friend Kathy. RIP Sir!

John Millan, Chief (RET)
NC Public School LEO (RET)

September 12, 2012

My love, my life...You are with me every moment of every day.

Kathy Smith, "surviving" spouse,
Saint Christopher, please stand watch over our baby girl "Caitlin"..I can't do it alone.

August 17, 2012

We honor you this week Chris at National Police Week. I pray for your wife and daughter. I hope this time will be so honoring to them and help them heal in some way.

Anita Roberts
Survivor

May 13, 2012

Dear Officer Haigh,
Caitlin and I look forward to greeting you at the finish line. Words cannot properly describe how my heart feels towards your efforts to honor Chris. Your endeavor to honor the service and sacrifices of "fallen officers" is noble and heroic. Please be assured I will be praying for the safe arrival of each 'rider' and listen for the angel wings fluttering around. Don't be too surprised if you find one perched on your shoulder. Chris was just that kind of guy, "an agent's agent". He loved law enforcement, believed in The Constitution, and upholding all laws. He was just and fair to everyone. Above all, he was the best husband, friend, and "Dad" on the planet.

Safe journeys,
Kathy Smith

Kathy Smith, "surviving" spouse,
Saint Christopher, please stand watch over our baby girl "Caitlin"..I can't do it alone.

May 4, 2012

My name is Officer Scott Haigh of the Rockaway Borough Police Department in New Jersey. I have been a Police Officer for 23 years and also a member of The Police Unity Tour.
IN HONOR AND MEMORY OF ATSAIC CHRISTOPHER J. SMITH I WILL BE THE PROUD OFFICER WEARING HIS NAME ON MY WRIST WHILE RIDING FROM NJ TO THE WALL IN WASHINGTON D.C.
I am truely looking forward to meeting and speaking with family members and friends of a True Fallen Hero- Christopher J. Smith!
I can tell you this, my dad Ronald J. Haigh was a proud Retired Police Officer, who loved to watch his son ride into D.C., but on May 7,2004, just two days before making my "Ride For Those who Have Died" with The Police Unity Tour. My father and best friend past away of a heart attack at the age 59. "THE WALL IN DC" is a very special place to me and I look forward to meeting others honoring "TRUE FALLEN HERO'S like Christopher and my Dad!
On May 12, 2012 I KNOW TWO GREAT MEN WILL BE LOOKING DOWN ON ALL OF US SO VERY PROUD!

Officer Scott Haigh
Rockaway Borough Police

May 3, 2012

Law Enforcement and specifically the U.S. Secret Service strives to hire heroic individuals. What are some recognizable attributes of these heroic individuals?

- Love and Honor of parents.
- Eagerness towards learning.
- Motivation for the betterment.
- Dedication to family.
- Commitment to law enforcement & Country.
- Respect for others.
- Determination in mission success.
- Selfless Responsibility.
- Faith in GOD.

In life Chris lived Heroically and in death he is remembered for it.

D.W. Reich, Senior Special Agent/retired
U.S. Secret Service/Friend

March 17, 2012

Honey, I received a letter from Dir. Mark Sullivan today. "...In recognition of your husband's distinguished service in this agency, we will add his name to the Secret Service Wall of Honor in our Headquarters Building. We will have a special ceremony honoring your husband......" For this I am grateful.

Caitlin and I didn't need 6 years of documentation to prove you were a HERO. We just knew. "It" was simply who you were and how you chose to lead by example, always raising the bar. Our "hero" was the most gentle, wonderful man in the world and he's still with us. A love so great doesn't disappear just because the body becomes too broken to survive. Seven years ago this month your heart stopped beating, not our love. The 33 months and 2 days you were comatose were a blessing from God, never a burden.

I'm blessed to have had you in my life for even a day. He saw fit and gave us 17 years and this perfect little baby girl that completed "us".

As you look down and Saint Christopher protects this baby girl, I can only imagine how proud you are of the young lady she's becoming. My heart almost bursts with pride when I see what we created. "SHE" is "YOU" and so lovely. Now, it's still your duty to protect her fragile heart and keep a steady watch. You're surrounded by an army of God's chosen angels, so keep our baby girl safe and guide her in ways only you knew how to do. I never signed on to be a single mom and I can't do this alone. NOW is not the time to tune me out.

I will love you until there are no more tears left to cry. You were "the one".

Kathy Smith
Surviving Spouse

March 15, 2012

Chris, I know that you have been and are smiling in Heaven
as your have watched the loves of your life pursue to the end what you so richly deserve....a place among the honored for unselfish service to their country. God bless your soul, your memory and your loving wife and daughter.

SAIC J. Benny Crosby - Retired
U.S. Secret Service

March 5, 2012

A class act that can never be replaced. Chris was the type of supervisor that everyone wanted to work for.

Tim Griffin
Friend/Co-Worker

March 5, 2012

Thank you Chris, for the support to your family and service to our nation. Thank you Kathy and family for the tremendous support, care, and love for Chris. PHILIPPIANS 1:3

G. Hall
Friend

March 4, 2012

You will always be in my heart! Your courage and strength will always be remembered.

Angelia Janousek
Friend

March 3, 2012

Phyllis, please accept my prayers for the tragic loss of your son, another angel hero in blue. You've lost a piece of your heart and soul and are suffering grief beyond compare. There is never any "getting over it".... May our merciful, loving God hold you in the palm of His hand and bring the peace only He can give.

Kathy Smith
spouse, survivor

February 23, 2012