Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Reflection: it's been many years now since I lost my Tony but I carry him always in my heart as I know many of you do too.

Losing him was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but now as much as it pains me to say this theres a part of me that believes God was calling him home and that he knew this long before anyone of us did.

I don't believe I've ever spoken of this in a public forum before, only our close family and friends know of what I'm about to share witb you but Tony spoke often of his death. It was as if he had a sixth sense that God would be calling him home soon.

Here are a few of the memories I'll share with you:

Often when we would drive past a particular cemetery ( one which was located on the outskirts of Woodland, up on a hill), he would point it out and tell me " baby when I die, I want to be buried up there, under a tree. I never thought much of it but looking back now, I do. I can't tell you how many times he said he wanted to be buried under a tree.

He told me that when I die, ( it was always " when" I die, not ever " if" I die ) I want Jessy ( his 5yr old daughter at the time) to have all my hats. Tony had a huge collection of baseball hats. When I would ask him why Jessy, he would say because she use to like to put them on and stand infront of the mirror and look at herself in them ...I imagine he pictured his little girl giggling with a hat way to big for her little head and if Jessy you should ever be reading this, I still have, after all these years a tub full of your dad's hats I'd love to give you ( along with other things I saved for you and your sister Ali )

Tony also wrote me a beautiful goodbye letter inwhich he gave me specific instructions on how to tell his parents he had passed away, along with a beautiful poem he wrote . He wanted to make sure I didn't call his parents but that I went in person and told them of his passing. He wrote that his dad had a heart condition so I was to go to their home. This was Tony even in death he was a good son to his father. ( sadly as things happen in the tragedy of a sudden death , this did not happen the way he wanted it)

He would also tell me often the music he wanted to be played at his service and that he did not want to be buried in his uniform ( for his law enforcement brothers
I wouldn't take this to personally, I believe Tony felt that being an officer was only a fraction of who he was and it didn't define him as the whole person he was. He wanted to be remembered as " Tony" as " Papi", a brother, an uncle, a son, a friend, a fathet and not just an officer). Sadly these things too were discarded.

There was a day Tony came home with a really cute little white tiger with pretty blue eyes ( he knew that white tigers were my favorite) . He had gotten it for me as a gift and when I asked why he told me " that when I die, I want you to hold on to this and remember me". I think I told him " shut up your not going to die! " and laughed it off . As I write this, 16 yrs later the little tiger sleeps beside me every night.

As if these things were not enough, I think the biggest insight that Tony ever had came one night while he was laying in bed. I was getting ready to turn in for the night standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth, etc when he called me over to him. He was looking on the laptop on the Costco website, we had just gotten a membership that day. He said, " baby, baby come here " with excitement in his voice. I thought he was going to show me something really cool but when I went over lol, he pointed to a blue casket with the mother Mary on it. ( who would of thought Costco had caskets!! And of all things for him to be looking at them !!) He said , " baby when I die, I want to be buried in this! Oh Lord!! I didn't think anything of it but Tony passed two or three days after this.

There were many insights Tony had or said before his death, to many to remember them all but looking back I believe he knew his time here was short and I wish I would taken it more seriously.

In March of 2008, Tony and I lost our baby ( Christina) and 3 months later on Father's day God took him. I don't know why God chose Tony he was such a great man and loving father to his 3 daughters and to my children, and although I so desperately wished he didn't have to go im comforted knowing hes up there with her now.

As in many families drama happens when someone dies and sadly because of this Tony didn't get the things he asked for in death, but he did get close to a tree. I know he would be looking down from heaven smiling. It meant so much to him. Please learn from us and if someone you love should pass away, set your differences a side and out of respect for that loved one be gracious and kind.

My love- forever & a day

Julie Yu
Fiancée

July 27, 2024

Rest in peace Deputy Sheriff Diaz.

Rabbi Lewis S. Davis

June 14, 2022

Just watched a training video which told the story of this tragedy. Years after this incident the thin blue line still remembers Tony, honors his sacrifice, and pledges to continue on protecting our communities from dangerous criminals like the one who ended Tony's life. As ambush incidents have only increased, let us all pledge to never forget Tony's sacrifice and that of his family's, and to remember him each time we are in a situation in which we could be ambushed. To family and friends of Tony's: Please accept my sincere condolences and know that you are still prayed for and on the minds of so many LEO's.

Sergeant Aaron Kafer
DENVER POLICE DEPARTMENT

December 2, 2020

RIP Brother-in-Arms, I too was shot , once in 92 & once in 2003 , I was ambush before my shift, spent almost a year in rehab. I was lucky , because I had numerous brothers in blue responding after 4 to my back & 3 to my chest and abdomen. I feel I survived because of brave men & women who issued first aid w/ their back to where the assain got me at my residence, I didn't have my vest on yet, but they worked on my because they were also border patrol paramedics, they kept me talking in our USBP blackhawk, and I awoke 2 weeks later. I retired from border patrol, and took a job as a Texas peace officer, but I always remind the troops to "STAY ALERT STAY ALIVE". God Bless You Brother in Blue.

Retired USBP class 226 Texas peace offic
Texas peace officer

June 24, 2018

Rest In Peace Brother in Blue. You are honored and remembered on the 10th anniversary of your EOW. Thank you and your family for your sacrifice and service.

Officer Mike Robinson (Ret)
Upland Police Dept. CA

June 15, 2018

Just saw the video of your shootout on PoliceOne, Tony. RIP, brother.

Officer R. Law #257
Rocklin PD

November 4, 2016

Tony, I remember that fateful night. I woke up to my dad leaving our house late that Sunday night. I turned on the scanner we had and I listened all night to my dad and some of the other officers who I knew he worked with. When My family had heard of your passing it saddened all of us. I hope your family has found some comfort. I was just a little boy when all of this happened. But I will never forget how much of a hero you are. R.I.P. Jose Antonio Tony Diaz. We live and love as a family, we also grieve as a family.

Civilian Samuel B.
None

November 24, 2015

Thank you for your service brother. I've watched the video of the incident countless times and you did nothing wrong. Your warrior spirt is nothing less than amazing. You were tactically sound but still met your end. There is a lesson in this for all of us. Thank you so much for your service and sacrifice. RIP.

Detective C M
Chicago

November 22, 2015

Thank you for your brave service. Rest in Peace.

1st Lt. Stephen A. Joy #980
Prince George's County Police Department, Maryland

October 31, 2015

It's been 7 years and I still cry for you a few times a year. I miss you Tony.

Your Friend

October 22, 2015

Time may have passed but you are not forgotten. I believe as long as someone remembers you or speaks your name, you are still with us.
Thank you for your heroism.
GOD Bless

Detention Officer A.Zambito
Texas

June 15, 2015

Deputy Diaz,
I've just watched the dash cam footage of that night you were injured. I thank you for the dedicated services you provided to the Yolo County. May you rest in peace and my condolences to your family.

Security Officer Nguyen
HealthCare Security Services

January 14, 2015

Thank-you for your brave service. Rest in peace.

1st Lt. Stephen A. Joy #980
Prince George's County Police Department, Maryland

July 26, 2014

I routinely go to ODMP and read reflections left to fallen officers. I can honestly say that I have never seen any that were as powerful as the ones left by your fiance and her daughter. They were truly moving and I had to fight back the tears. You were not only a hero for your police service, but a hero to your family. You were more of a father to your fiance's daughter than most fathers are to their own children. You have taught me to concentrate more on spending time with my own sons, rather than trying to get that extra overtime shift or private detail and missing their sporting events and school activities. The job will end someday for most of us lucky ones, but families last a lifetime. I thank you for your service, sacrifice and the lesson that you taught me. You were a good man. RIP brother.

Sergeant. 27 year veteran
A Massachusetts Police Department

March 7, 2014

Rest in peace brother, I'm so sorry you had to die in such a way, but I saw the video as well, and it makes me proud to see how you moved cover to protect the child in the vehicle. You are a true police officer, and a hero. May your family be comforted and may your memory live on. Rest well brother, you have earned at least that.

Patrol Officer Trevor Burnham
Westport Police Department

March 2, 2014

I just saw your video on youtube of that fatal night. You fought the good fight and pursued with courage. May you be rewarded in the next life. Thank you for your service.

Trooper

February 13, 2014

You will never be forgotten because the memory of heroes live forever. Continue to keep watch over your loved ones and close friends. Thank you for your dedicated service to others.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

June 15, 2013

Tony,

I can't believe it has been five years already. Never a work day goes by that I don't think of you. Hope you are resting easy and I look forward to seeing you again some day

Anonymous
Woodland PD

June 15, 2013

I spent 8 years as a police officer working midnight to 8am. I finally left that honorable service 10 years ago after too many close calls, bad feelings and what-ifs crossed my path. I also stumbled across this story...just today...just five minutes ago. I watched that dash cam video and all those bad feelings came back to me in a flash. Officer Diaz made the choice of a hero...a man that did not swerve from the path of his duty. He knew who he was dealing with from the previous bolo and he did not hesitate when the assaultive career criminal fled. He chose to exit his vehicle to further pursue the animal rather than taking cover and waiting for back-up. He was the kind of man we ALL would have wanted to have behind the wheel of a police car if someone was putting our family or loved ones in danger. I never met Officer Diaz but I know his type....the kind of man that makes all police officers look GOOD! Rest with Jesus brother officer...I would bet God has a special place in heaven reserved just for men like you. I hope that the rest of the Diaz family has had a chance to find peace in their lives over the last four years...may God bless you all as well...

Citizen - former Police Officer.

December 29, 2012

I was surfing the internet and came across this news story. I use to work in a small town, working by myself and been in similar situations like this which worked out on my behalf. Looking at this video that I watched brings back some memory that I've been in but I came home that night. This officer did nothing wrong from what I watched and he held his own tell help came. God bless you for your service!
It hurts to see this and hope that every Officer calls back-up even if you have a funny feeling about the call. I would have love met and known this Officer who sacrificed his life. God bless you.

Former Police Officer

September 6, 2012

I saw the video of this, your final encounter. Thank you for your service and sacrifice. What strength! What fortitude! you displayed in your final moments with us. I thank God Almighty for men like Deputy Tony Diaz and their honorable service.

citizen

August 28, 2012

RIP officer. You died an honorable death and your memory will live on in all our hearts. Nobody will forget the sacrifice you made to protect the public.

Journalist Akemi Mokoto

July 13, 2012

Thinking of you and your family today. Even though your mom is Spanish speaking and I am not, we spoke speak the language of motherhood. I feel a special connection with her and have from the first day I met her.

All of your family is in my heart's embrace today as we honor your memory on this fourth anniversary of your death. Rest In Peace. You are missed.

Phyllis Loya
Mom of fallen California Officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD, eow 4/24/05

June 15, 2012

Tony was like my dad and I miss him very much, it's been four years but my heart still hurts because he's not here with us anymore. He lived with me and my family. He's like the only dad I ever really had. My mom and dad divorced when I was little and he was never there for me very much. I called him my Papi because he always took care of me like I was his own.

I would like to share so that everyone knows what a special person he was and how much joy he brought into our lives.

I remember everytime a holiday came Papi and mom would always sit down with us and do arts and crafts. He would cut, glue, glitterize and joke around with us. Sometimes we would bake cookies and he would help frost and sprinkle them.

On New Years and Halloween, Papi would set up his D.J equipment and mom and him would decorate the whole house, we had tones of fun. We invited our friends, it was a kids only party and Papi played music and laughed with us all night.

Another thingwe did was take lots of fun and exciting trips. We would go to places like SanFrancisco, Lake Tahoe, Davis and the Science Museums.

When we would go to San Francisco, we went to the Golden Gate Park. Papi would play with us on all the playground stuff. There was an enormous spider web there that he climbed up with me and a huge cement slide that we slid down with card board boxes, Papi put Ale on his lap and we went over and over again. He pushed me on the swings and climbed a giant wave with us. We pretended we were surfing.
When we went to Tahoe we listened to a special CD he made for us of funny songs, one was called the gummy bear song, which was my favorite. When we got there we had a lot of fun playing in the sand. Papi and all of us made a big sand castle and then we all jumped on it, he played football with my brother John and sat with mom on the beach.

When we would go to Davis Park, Papi would play soccer with me, we would sit on the dock and feed the ducks that were there in a big pond, then we would all walk the trails.

Besides playing soccer with me and teaching me different moves, Papi taught me how to roller skate too. On my seventh birthday when I got my first pair of rollerskates, he told me to get into my skates and he put his on and we went outside. He showed me which position to put my feet in and then he skated first to show me how it was done, when it was my turn he stayed next to me until I got the hang of it.

Sometimes when we go to Costco, he would pick me up and twirl me around and around, he would make me laugh. And when my little nephew Isaiah would start to get cranky, Papi would tie his shoes laces together as he sat in the shopping cart or he would pick him up and run really really fast with him up and down the isle. Isaiah would just laugh and laugh.

At dinner we always had a good time making it together, everyone would help do something. One time Papi tried to make hamburger patties but that did not work out, they came out very small. One time my sisters Ale and Jessy piled all their peas on their chicken patty that was covered in gravy and when Papi said, "Ale, Jessy stop playing with your food." Ale and Jessy replied. Papi we are not playing with our food, it taste good that way! So Papi did the same thing and said, "MMMM" it does taste good!" Not only did we have a good time together but Papi was always very caring, everytime Ale would come over and we would ask her what she wanted for dinner, she would always say. " BBQ chicken, it's my favorite!" and Papi would always go and BBQ it for her.

Sometimes its the simple things that makes you know someone cares and loves you. Papi would always tell me to go brush my teeth. One time he asked me if I brushed my teeth and I said "Yep". He said hold on and went and got a yellow phonebook. He held it up to my face and tole me to smlie, then he said, "Yep, you brished but you still need to improve". He was always so funny and he always made everything so fun. I miss him not being here anymore.

Tony, my Papi was a very fun, loving and caring person, not only was he a good dad to me but he was the best dad to Ale and Jessy. Papi loved the girls so much and he always took such good care of them! If one of them fell down and got an ouie he would swoop them up, run them upstairs to the bathroom, set them on the counter and put neosporin and a bandaid on them and say, "It's ok mama, It's ok mama." Every night him would make them brush their teeth and make sure they had a bath. Before we went somewhere if mom was doing something he would brush their hair and help them get their jackets and boots on.

A lot of dads really do not care about playing with their kids or spending time with them but Papi did. When we would go into our weight room and Ale would see Papi punching the punching bag, she would say, "Me too Papi, me too Papi " he would lift her up and let her punch it too, then he would take her down and show her how to position her little fist in a boxing stance and they would play box. Papi a;ways got knocked out and when he would fall to the ground Ale would giggle with laughter.

Other times he would sit with baby Isaiah on the pool table and give him his own pool balls to play with, then help teach Ale and Jessy how to play. He would show each one how to hold the pool stick, always being patient with them as they would yell out, "My turn Papi, my turn!"

When me or my sisters needed help with our homework, Papi would sit with us. Sometimes my sister Lindsey would have a hard time and get fustrated with herself and call her self names but Papi would always stop her and tell her that she was smart and that she could do this, then he would sit down with her and help her until she felt better.

He went to all of our teacher meetings and volunteered for my sister Lindsey's class where he went and gave a speech and he went to all of our Dr appointments with us.

Mostly I remember going to the library with him, my mom and Ale and Jessy a lot. He would sit and read books with them.

When Papi died I was so sad. I remember laying in my bunk bed and I could not stop crying. I was crying and crying and my God Grandma came in and stayed with me. Everybody was sad. My mommy would stay in her room and would not come out and at night I could hear her sobbing. I would start crying because she was crying and I missed my Papi too. My God Grandma would come and pick us up and take her to her house to do things but nothing was fun anymore. We had to move and my mom had to work a lot. It was just me and my my brother and sisiters and we could not see Ale and Jessy anymore. This made me really sad because they are like my sisters and now they are gone too, it's like our whole family has been ripped apart.

I miss that my Papi is not around to tell me to brush my teeth and tell when to go to bed, to help me with school work, be with me at my eye doctors and my parent/teacher conference. I miss the piggy back rides and when he would pick me up and twirl me around, I miss flying kites with him, playing at the park with him, roller skating and playing soccer with him. I miss him talking to me and making me feel happy when I am sad, I miss him encouraging me to believe in myself and teaching me new things. I miss just knowing he was around when I needed him and seeing how happy my mom was when she was here but the biggest thing I miss most is seeing his smiling face and hearing him laugh. When he was here with me I knew everything was safe and everyone would be ok.

I love you Papi.

Jenna Yu
Daughter at heart

June 5, 2012

It has been 4 years now my love, and time has passed for many, the memory of your death has slowly faded for some but for me it does not, for me it is as if time has stopped.... It is as yesterday

I can hear Penada on the phone telling me, it's ok...its just a shoulder wound, he's going to be ok..I remember hurriedly going up to the bathroom and collecting a few things for us, thinking we would be in the hospital together for a while, I pictured you in your bed and me beside you. I figured we would be there for a few weeks. I remember how frustrated I was waiting for a girlfriend to arrive to take me to the S/O....the Tahoe was there and all I could think of was how fast could I get to you. I had always dropped you off but this day you had taken it. I remember arriving and running for the vehicle, it was as if I were in a dream and my legs could not run fast enough. From out of no where came a female, it was Failey, she grabbed me and spoke to me calmly, I insisted I had to go....I had to get to you. She made me go with Jen and I remember how frustrated I was again that we had to sit for a moment listening to the radio...please just drive, just drive, Jen just drive. Final we were in route, we were on our way to you and over the radio we heard the helicopter had been rerouted to woodland and not UC Davis. I remember the relief coming over me thinking that you must be ok for them to be taking you there instead of UC Davis. Still the anticipation of me getting to you was still there...we could not drive fast enough. We went to the counter and it seemed as if we stood a life time waiting for a male nurse to come and talk to me, he told me that they were doing everything they could for you..I asked if they had to breath for you and he replied yes...and somewhere in the back of my mind it all became confused. I thought you were ok, that it was just a shoulder wound like Penada had said, that for some reason they just had to medicated you, put you under and breath for you to make it easier on you. Why did I think that, what was wrong with me? We walked away and I remember the anger of helplessness I felt, I yelled, I screamed, how powerless I felt. There were more of us now and we walked outside, it was dark and you could feel the fear of the unknowing.... Their faces are still burned in my mind. I see Matt...... I hit the dumpster over and over, Jen stops me and we just sit....right there, just waiting, for what we don't know. We are just suspended, as if God has put us in a time out. I see Bruce, he walks this way, his eyes are on me. Im scanning his face for some sign that will tell me that every things ok but I see nothing, His face is blank as he tells me the Dr would like to talk to me. We're all walking now, we're all walking together in the dark towards the direction of the E.R. As we go in I walk up to the desk and I will never forget as long as I live the voice of the nurse who cheerfully says to me, he's in room 2 C. Just like that, he's in room 2 C, like every things ok. Relief came over me, every things going to be ok now, he's in a room waiting to be taken in to surgery, he's sedated, their breathing for him and every things going to be ok. We're lead into a room but to my surprise your not there but thats ok because I know they have you over there across the hallway...your in a bed waiting to be moved to surgery, theres just to many of us to go in there and the Drs going to update us and brief us here. As we stand there the door to the room is open, I see two nurses across the hallway and I over hear them say, he just had to much blood in his stomach. I dismiss it..it's not you, I know it's not you. We wait and then a tall Dr comes in, he looks at me and begins to tell me we worked really hard and we did everything we could and in my mind I think he's going to tell me next that they've sent you on to surgery but then he slowly takes my hands in his, looks me in my eyes and says I'm sorry, we did everything we could but we just couldn't save him. I stared blankly at him, trying to process what he said but no my brain knew differently, wasn't it Penada who had assured me over and over that Tony was going to be ok, hadn't the helicopter rerouted because he wasn't as bad as we had thought, hadn't they medicated him and been breathing for him to make it easier on him and hadn't the nurse cheerfully said, he's in room 2 C? What was he saying...Oh my God, what was he saying, I looked at him and ask him if he was lying to me? At that moment the world stopped, reality stopped, how could someone be alive one minute and then just be gone, all that they are just stops to exist. Where was he, where had he gone? I couldn't understand...I was so confused. I knew I needed to be with him, he would want that, we were always together, there were no place we were without each other and now more than ever every ounce of soul screamed to find him, to be with him. I asked if I could see him...someone muttered the word no and said that he's a crime scene but from out of nowhere a nurse spoke up and said, we have been all over him, touching him everywhere, surely it wouldn't make a difference if she saw him. As a group we walked across the hallway to where he laid, they stood back as I walked to him. His eyes were opened and I asked them if they could close them, it took them twice before they did. I walked to the other side, he was so lifeless...where had he gone, where was my Tony? Where was that person who was so full of life. I reached down and stroked his hair and softly kissed him. His feet were uncovered, he hated anyone seeing his feet, I covered them.

For many time passes my love and the memories of you fade but for me time holds still, you are always there lingering, smiling at me, waiting patiently for me. I will never forget this night that God called you home, it will always be imprinted in my mind, I will never forget this day. I have sealed it tightly in my hearts deepest chamber along with all the memories that we made, along with all the life that we had. I am no longer anger and I am no longer confused, I know why you had to go...and I know now why you were chosen over me. I am at peace now with it. Kiss her for me, hold her tight and let the warmth of your energy flow through her, tell her its me she's feeling, stroke her hair gently and kiss her little forehead, take her hand in yours and tell her I love her. Tell her, I sleep with her blanket every night.

Me & Yu Forever and a day

Julie Yu
Fiancee

June 2, 2012