Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

almost 2 years..
still miss & think of you often.
trev looks just like you.
miss you.

Anonymous

June 13, 2009

I can't believe its almost been 2 years this month. It still feels like a nightmare thats never ending. It seems like it was only yesterday when I got that horrific phone call. I miss you terribly and people are wrong. The pain never gets any better. For me, it continues to get worse. I know that dad feels the same way. When we went to Buck's graduation a song came on and he started crying and told me that it reminded him of you. We all miss you terribly down here. How I wish you could just be here with us and we didnt have to deal with the pain of losing such a wonderful man. You were always such a warm hearted and caring person. I am still honored to call you my best friend and brother. You cared about everyone and were always so friendly. Even to people you didn't know. You got along so well with everyone and touched so many hearts. One of your friends comes into work and sees me a couple times every week and he still continues to wear his bracelet to honor your memory. You touched so many people, and still continue to do so. How I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare and hear your voice. It kills me to know I will never get another "Bubby bear hug". Please continue to watch over us all and keep us safe. I Love You Bigger than the Sky forever and always. You will ALWAYS be my best friend and NOONE will ever take your place in my heart. Always my #1! best buddies "foreber and eber". Sissy

Kierstan
Sister

June 7, 2009

I still miss you very much, this feels like a dream, I really wish it was. love you Charle.

Anonymous

May 23, 2009

I saw that they honored you at another memorial in the paper today. You are such a hero to everyone. Its not just to me anymore. Its an honor to be your sister and to have had that close of a relationship with you. You will always be my best friend. I miss you more everyday. I will never forget you. Always remembered, never forgotten. Always my #1! best buddies forever and ever. Be sure to watch me at graduation.

Kierstan
Sister

May 17, 2009

I miss you more than words can say. I graduate in a week and it tears me up that your not gonna be there to see me finally get my diploma. Everything thats supposed to be good only makes me hurt worse now. I didnt even know it was possible to hurt more. I need you now, I am so tired of everyone being so stuck up and mean. I need someone to talk to and theres noone there. I continuously catch myself calling your phone and its not until I get the voicemail box and dont hear your voice that I realize it. I wish you were here with me so badly. I want to hear your voice and have you give me a "bubby bear hug" and tell me you love me again. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. best buddies foreber and eber. always my everything and still my #1. youll never be replaced. always remembered, never forgotten. heroes live forever!

Kierstan
Sister

May 10, 2009

We miss you Charlie

Anonymous

May 8, 2009

Always in my thoughts. You never leave my side. I love and miss you bigger than the sky. best buddies foreber and eber.

Sissy

April 30, 2009

Thinking of you bud.

Anonymous

April 24, 2009

I miss you badly. I still think of you every second of every day. They're honoring you at the memorial in Jeff City this year. You've made us all so proud. But we still wish you were here with us. We still have to the heartbreaking grief day after day. I didn't know it was possible, but there are still days that are harder to deal with. I don't even feel like waking up on them. I miss you and I love you more than anything. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best buddies forever and always. Still and always my everything.

Kierstan
Sister

April 20, 2009

Still miss you so much.

Anonymous

April 19, 2009

FRANKIE J
Daddy's Little Girl

[Verse 1:]
He drops his suitcase by the door
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore
She drags her feet across the floor
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on
And she says

[Pre Chorus:]
Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
Mommy's saying things she don't mean
She don't know what she's talking about
Somebody hear me out

[Chorus:]
Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

[Verse 2:]
Now she hasn't slept in weeks
She don't want to close her eyes cause she's scared that he'll leave
They tried just about everything
It's getting harder now
For him to breathe
And she says

[Pre Chorus:]
Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
The doctors are saying things they told me
They don't know what they talking about
Somebody hear me out

[Chorus:]
Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go (don't have to go)
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

[Hook:]
Please don't let him go (don't let him go)
I'm begging you so (I'm begging you so)
There open his eyes
There ain't no more time
To tell him that I love him more
The many thing in the world
Is Daddy's little girl

[Chorus:]
Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go (don't have to go)
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father

She was Daddy's Little Girl
Mmmmm Oh

Anonymous

April 14, 2009

Why? Cruel winds burn upon my flesh and swiftly stir upon my stream of tears

Your name, in gusts of anguish deep and dark as any night sky your gaze once graced

To exclaim without refrain, without a breath left within my soul,

You, your very essence sinks inside my heart, absorbed by a disbelief of truths sharp as a knife


To face life’s winter without a guiding light beside me held by your frame

To breathe this air of worlds we dare to bridge by faith, and not by sinful thoughts abide

Where are you now, when ripples spread, when tides recoil in fearful tumblings

When all around your face descends, enclosing time and honored by the hope that you’ll appear

To me once more and I shall see your smile again.

-- I miss you. I love you so much. Nothing is getting any better. I am dying without you. I love you bigger than the sky. best buddies forever and always. you will always have the biggest spot in my heart and noone will ever take it.

Sissy

April 14, 2009

Easter gives me that hope that by God's grace and faith in Crist i am saved and in that hope i will see you again and never have to say goodby.

Anonymous

April 13, 2009

Happy Easter in Heaven.I really missed you being here to celebrate it with me. It sure was lonely and depressing. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best Buddies foreber and eber.

Kierstan
Sister

April 12, 2009

Remember me with a smile,
your tears should last just a little while.
Remember me as I would want you to,
and know that I am watching over you.
Remember all the good times we had,
dry your tears and don't be sad.
Remember our hearts were filled with laughter,
just as my love will last forever after.
Remember to live each day filled with love,
for I am at peace in Heaven above.

-- I miss you terribly. I want and need you back. Please help me. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best buddies forever and always. Still my everything.

Kierstan
Sister

April 10, 2009

Sometimes I still hear the sound of your voice.
I wish you were still here with me, but you had no choice.
I know an Angel held you as your body said goodbye.
But that doesn’t stop my heart from breaking.....
........“I miss you and I cry”.
No one can believe that you are really gone,
Our hearts are broken and our spirits moan.
“He was to young”, I’ve heard people say,
“Why did he, have to die this way?”
I try not to be angry, I kneel and I pray,
Asking God to be with us, as we face each day.
I always try to give Dad an extra kiss,
To make up for a precious boy, he will always miss.
I understand everyone's emptiness and their sorrow too,
Because, “My precious bubby..... we all miss you“.
I know you are happy in Heaven above,
Surrounded by the Angels and all their love.
But today on earth, my heart still grieves,
Because you are no longer here to talk with me”.
I will look toward Heaven, for I know I will see
A Star that will suddenly glow big and bright,
It will be my bubby smiling....
..... and watching over me.

--- I miss you so badly, please help me. I can't deal with the pain anymore. You're my life. I want you back. I want my old life back. Please help me get through this pain. You were the only one that helped me before, and I need you now. Please help me find a way to get through all this pain. I'm an emotional wreck. What I would give to see your smile and hear you tell me that you love me and everything will be allright. I don't understand. They're honoring your memory and sacrifice again this year and I wouldnt miss it for the world. You would have done it for me and its the least I can do for you. After all you've done for me. And I know, had it been me, you would have done it for me. I miss you so badly the tears and pain never end. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best Buddies. Forever and Always. You will always mean everything to me. Still my #1. I Love You Bubby. We all miss you. We will never stop remembering. You held such a special place in our hearts, and always will.

Kierstan Cook
Sister

April 7, 2009

Invisible words hang in the air.
A silence loud and lingering.
Unrealized dreams and shades of despair
Overshadow material things.
Promises now, which can not be kept
Of forever and ever with you.
Feeling with sadness the change in our lives
And not knowing what to do.
Invisible words in invisible worlds
Streaming through my mind.
All of the things I might have said.
Innocence left behind.
Past, is the vision behind the glass.
So near, but unable to reach.
A separate lifetime, just a moment ago,
Silently I scream.

Sissy

April 2, 2009

I worry about you every day,

Every night,

Every minute,

Every second,

Of my life.

And now that you're gone.

Part of me is missing.

You aren’t there to care for,

Or to sleep with,

Or to keep safe.

You aren’t there to cry for.

But am I happy that you are gone?

I could never be.

It may be less to worry about,

But now I worry,

Can I last without you.

Without the worry that held me together.

Without you that kept me on the ground.

You tied me there with you.

Not letting me fly too high.

Letting me stay level.

Not too crazy,

Not too sad,

But just perfect.

There with you,

Everything was perfect,

Because you were tied to me.

But now our rope is ripping.

Somehow you are slipping,

And you are flying to the heavens.

With the wings that were hidden.

Even though you knew it would happen someday.

They were always there,

For you to fly,

And lose that pain,

And feel level.

Like you kept me.

You are now level in the heavens.

---Bubby I need you so badly right now. I miss you so badly. Everyone tells me to speak whats in my heart but I feel I have no heart anymore. I cant feel anything. I lost everything when I lost you. When you left my whole world was spun around and it just keeps spinning. I dont know what to think, feel, believe, say or do. I miss your hugs, smile, kisses, laugh and hearing your voice. I dont feel like I can do this without you. My world is gone. I feel as if I have nothing left. I will forever wonder and ask the question "why". My soul is screaming for you and noone cares. I am dying without you. You are everywhere. Everything brings me memories and it kills me. Yes, I do want the memories but i'd rather you be here to make more. Everything just keeps going wrong and I cant take anymore. Ive lost everything and noone understands or cares. You have been my best friend since the day I was born. How am I supposed to make it without you? I never had to before. You were always the one that kept me strong. I keep catching myself getting ready to pick up the phone to call you. It doesnt cross my mind quickly enough that you wont answer and then my heart breaks when I dont hear you on the other end. Then reality kicks in. How I wish you would pick up. I need you. Please help me. I will always love you and I will never let anyone take your place. I will forever have a broken heart. But noone will ever take the place that you have inside. You will forever be my everything, my best friend, my idol, my protector, my confidant. That will never change. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. You will always be my everything. I miss you. Best Buddies forever and ever. Always. Still and forever my #1.

Kierstan
Sister

April 1, 2009

The rain will fall the snow will sparkle,
the tree's will blow and the birds will sing, children will dance flowers will grow,
music will ring and tears will flow,
ice will melt and memories felt.
Yesterday i was there, today i am not.
The angels called upon me and led me far away.
Tears will fall, hearts will break.
but i am still there in your heart.
I can still be felt.
close your eyes can you see me standing there? remember life goes on.
one day we will meet but until then enjoy what you have got.
If you ever need me just close your eyes and i will be there,
open your eyes and i will be gone,
now live your life and move on.
Remember i am only sleeping.
i will never be too far.
i will be that star shining down on you,
can you see it?
tonight i say goodbye,
tonight i shed my last tear,
i have to leave the angels are near.
Fall with the rain,
sparkle with the snow,
blow with the tree's
and sing with the birds,
dance with the children
and ring with the music,
enjoy yourself and be happy,
smile and cry sing and dance,
laugh and be sad.
share moments and express feelings.
stengthen and weaken.
love and smile.
you are still young, your life is yours.
forever will i miss you.
but now I've been laid to rest.
the angel came i got my wings.
i can fly, and i can sore
i can reach where I've never been before.

close your eyes see I'm still standing there.

-----I miss you more each day. I miss your laugh, your smile. I miss the way you would hug me tight and say I love you. Now all I have are the memories to get me by. It hurts so bad that I cant see the man that I looked up to all my life. Youre still my idol, my protector, my best friend. Noone will ever take your place. You may be gone, but you will NEVER be forgotten. You may not be in my sight but you will always be in my memory. Youre still my world. My life doesnt seem real without you here to share it with me. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. We will always be best buddies "foreber and eber". Youre still my world. My #1. Love you

Sissy

March 29, 2009

I miss you more and more with each passing day. You are always on my mind. There isn't a second that goes by that I don't think of you. I miss you so badly. It kills me that youre not here with me. Ill always love you. Best buddies forever and ever. Still my #1.

Kierstan
Sister

March 26, 2009

Crystal Shawanda
You can let go now

Wind blowin’ on my face
Sidewalk flyin’ beneath my bike
A five year-old’s first taste
Of what freedom’s really like
He was runnin’ right beside me
His hand holdin’ on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It’s still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standin’ at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I’ve been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
‘Who gives this woman?’
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin’ tightly to my arm
‘Till I whispered in his ear

[ Crystal Shawanda Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

It was killin’ me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin’ away to nothin’
In that hospital room
‘You know he’s only hangin’ on for you’
That’s what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin’
As I crawled up in his bed, and said

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It’s gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go

I miss you more and more. Love you bigger than the sky. best buddies foreber and eber.

Anonymous

March 24, 2009

Butterfly Kisses
Bob Carlisle

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, she talks to Jesus, and I close my
eyes.
And I thank God for all the joy in my life,
Oh, but most of all, for...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet sixteen today,
She's looking like her momma a little more every day.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
[ Bob Carlisle Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don't mind,
I'm only going to kiss you on the cheek this time."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time ... Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly ... Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride room just staring at her,
she asked me what I'm thinking, and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." Then she leaned over... and gave
me...

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there sticking little flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it's just about time"
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?" "Daddy, don't cry."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more. Man, this is what love is.
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses...

Remember this song from when I was little? I sure do. I remember listening to it with you. I miss you more with every day. Prom and graduation are getting nearer and it kills me that your gonna miss it. You are always on my mind. I love you bigger than the sky. best buddies forever and always. still my #1.

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

I spoke to a little boy age three
who asked a lot of questions of me.
The boy asked "why do you wear a gun?"
"If only I could answer that one."

The boy asked
"what is that long stick for?"
Again, I replied same as the last one ...
"If only I could answer that one Son."

The boy then asked
"Is chasing bad guys fun?"
I then replied
"No but, it must be done."

The boy then tapped my badge as I knelt
and looking into his eyes my heart began to melt.

He said "Daddy, when I get big I want a badge like that one
and a car with lights that goes woo-woo!"
I said "that's wonderful son!"...and thought
"My son, if only you knew".

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

Thinking about you, miss you, love you bud,you wont be forgoten.

Anonymous

March 20, 2009

Its getting warmer outside and I keep hinking of all the days you had Trevor outside. Whether it be playing, or riding his bike, or on the lawnmower with you. Little every day things seem so crazy to miss. You are always in my thoughts Charlie. Miss you Big Guy.

Ruthie

March 18, 2009