Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Trevor told me he wants to be a policeman when he grows up. He wants to get in the cars with the flashing lights. Grandma asked him if he wanted a dog and he said yes, so possibly a K-9 unit! He also told me he wants to be a fire truck. He wants to climb up the ladder and hand stuff down. Those were his exact words. I'm sure it makes you proud to hear him say that. He wants to follow in his daddy's steps. That would be fine with me if he ends up doing that, as long as he is happy, I'm not going to stop him. The circus is going to be in town soon. He still remembers when you rode the elephant with him. He told me that since you are not here anymore that it is my turn to ride the elephant! Oh joy! He also remembers last winter when you two made the snowman outside. He says I'm supposed to help him make one now. Trevor is such an inspiration! He really is a good kid. He's got a lot of his daddy in him. We love you.

Renee

February 24, 2008

It's almost been 8 months.. It seems like its only been days.. The pain never ceases.. Your on my mind constantly. I miss you Bubby.. Love You Bigger than the Sky..

Kierstan

February 24, 2008

miss you bud,I think about you every day, Love you Charlie.

February 21, 2008

Missing you more and more each day....

February 20, 2008

Please be with Joe today on his 28th birthday. Love you Charlie!

February 20, 2008

We miss you Charlie.

Jenny
Sister-In-Law

February 19, 2008

I miss you so badly, something goes wrong and I want to pick up the phone and call you. To have you come and get me so I can get away from it all for a while. I miss you so badly. I Love You Bigger than the Sky Bubby. Forever and Always. Please continue to watch over me.

Little Sister

February 18, 2008

I ran across the street to see Renee last night and Trev wanted "roofie to c'mere and play". He was playing v-smile. He's such a smart little guy. And Renee is such a wonderful mommy Chas, you should be so proud of her. Not a day goes by that you aren't thought of and missed so much. I love you Chas.

Ruthie

February 16, 2008

we still remember and miss you badly.... it still hurts

February 16, 2008

Thinking of you Everyday Charlie

Brittany
Sister-in-law.

February 15, 2008

Once again, no phone call. Happy Valentine's Day Bubby...

February 14, 2008

What I would do to have another one of those unexpected visits when you were on duty and had a free minute. All those silly little memories mean more than anything to me. The way we acted like dorks, I was so happy to see you. It's even better to know that you didn't have to, you just wanted to come and see us. You'd sit there and talk until you got a call, didn't matter if it was a minute or an hour. I miss being able to talk to you and confide in you. I miss having you around and making all my tears go away. I miss being able to sit and watch movies with you when you got home and I was done babysitting for the night and Nae and Little Buddy had gone to bed. Most especially I miss your smile, your laugh, those big blue eyes, your hugs and kisses and the holiday phone calls. I miss you so badly. This pain can never be erased, it's on my heart like a stain. I just want my big brother, my best friend back. Please continue to watch over us. I wish so badly that I could talk to you right now and get your advice. You'll always be in my heart. I Love You Bigger than the Sky Bubby. Forever and Always. Still my #1. Love, Sissy

February 13, 2008

As I lay by your side and hold you tonight
I want you to understand,
This love that I feel is so right and so real,
I realize how lucky I am.
And should you ever wonder if my love is true,
There's something that I want to make clear to you.

There's no way I can make it without you,
There's no way that I'd even try.
If I had to survive without you in my life,
I know I wouldn't last a day.
Oh babe, there's no way.

It means so much to me whenever I see
That 'wanting me look' in your eyes.
I don't know how I could do without
Holding you close every night.
I've waited so long just to have you to hold.
Now that I've got you,
I'll never let go.

There's no way I can make it without you.
There's no way that I'd even try.
If I had to survive without you in my life,
I know I wouldn't last a day.
Oh babe, there's no way.

I never knew until you
What I was missing.
Now you say "Forever."
I find my heart, it's listening,
Yes, I'm listening.

There's no way I can make it without you.
There's no way that I'd even try.
If I had to survive without you in my life,
I know I wouldn't last a day.
Oh babe, there's no way.

Baby, there's just no way.
3/3/01-Remember, almost seven years ago?

February 12, 2008

Missing you more and more everyday. I can't begin to explain the feeling of loneliness. Love you
Sissy

February 12, 2008

what is the meaning of the word lost???
is it what i am now you're gone?
the feeling of lonliness and never knowing who your real friends are...
not knowing who your real identity is...
the crying of your empty heart...
now that there's a hole there.

always hoping today will be your last.

but i have to go on...
knowing your never coming back...
knowing i never said a proper goodbye
never knowing if and when this pain will stop...
the anger and sadness that is building up inside,
is beginning to tear me apart...
the tears wont cease...
they keep pouring out....
im drowning.

there is no need for me to be in this young and healthy body anymore,
it paints a perfect picture...
but if u dig deep...
past the fake smiles and phony laughs...
you will see a sad soul trapped in a cage...
longing for release...
you will see that im lost without you bubby.

Kierstan

February 9, 2008

Dear God, I Miss My Daddy
My daddy is a policeman, he wears a suit of blue;
he didn't come home from work last night,
mommy says he's in heaven with you.

I'm worried about my daddy Lord,
he's never been away this long before;
mommy cried when she told me we that wouldn't see daddy no more
I don't know what it was that mommy was trying to explain;
she said the police were after a bad man, and somehow my daddy was slain.

Now I don't know what that means Lord, all I know is we miss daddy a lot;
because tomorrow is my birthday, and I sure hope he hasn't forgot.
Lord if my daddy is up there in heaven, please tell him as soon as he is free;
to hurry back home as fast as he can, because we miss him, mommy and me.

Thank you God,

Amen

February 9, 2008

Everytime I hear the song "I'm watching you", remember the one you used to say was Buck and Dad's song. I can't help but look up at the sky and think of you and Trev. I cant help but smile through my tears. He looked up to you so much, wanting to be just like his Daddy, he still does. Thank you so much for bringing Nae into our family, and giving us Trev. They're helping me through this, and they don't even know it. I don't know what i'd do without them. I miss you so badly. This pain can never begin to be healed, no matter how hard I try. I feel so empty, so lost without you. The other night, as every night, I had another dream about you, but you talked to me.. You told me that you love me, nothing can ever change that, and that you miss me. To hear you so you are alright made me start bawling in my sleep and Matt had to wake me up, even the tears dont phase me anymore, theyre so common that I don't even realize i'm crying. I start shaking and that wakes him up, so I get woke up. Seeing you in my dreams kills me, but it's better than nothing, right? I just want you to know that you will never be replaced, in any way. And that I will always love you. Best Friends Forever, Like we always promised. Still my #1. Love, your baby sissy

Kierstan

February 8, 2008

Your Son and Mine
Momma's Little Buddy.
The miracle before my eyes.
A reminder of God's presence,
Every time I see him smile.
His laughter is a joy to my Heart.
His forgiveness makes mine pale when compared.
He makes me laugh with a sense of humor,
That he is always willing to share.
The little things that excite him,
Make me remember the kid I used to be.
It reminds me to enjoy every moment more,
Instead of letting the world get to me.
Above all I only have to look at him,
His momma's pride and joy,
To remember to thank my Heavenly Father above,
For my special little boy.
I understand now how much God loves us,
Every time I hold him tight.
God gave up the Son He loved so much,
To give us eternal life.
Thank You God For your Son and mine.

For Trevor, Momma's big boy, I love you!

Renee

February 6, 2008

Trevor always seems to amaze me. Today he told me,"Don't give up, keep trying." He's right. He's such a smart little guy. We recorded him saying that and it is now my ringtone on my cell phone to remind me.

Renee

February 6, 2008

If I had one last day
to tell you what's inside
I'd tell you that I'm sorry
For all the times I've lied
I'd tell you that I need you
To hold my hand today
I'd tell you that I love you
I'd ask you, please, to stay
You'd look at me and smile
The way you always would
And say "I'd love to stay,
If only I really could"
Then you'd laugh the way you did
Whenever I was blue
You'd wipe my tears and whisper softely,
"Don't cry, I love you too"
If I had one last day
I'd love you from the start
I'd stop hiding how I feel
I'd say what's in my heart
If I had one last day,
I'd say my last good-bye
and that even though you are far away,
In my heart, you'll never die.

Kierstan Cook
Little Sister

February 6, 2008

Still your weeping
Dry your tears
Grieve not for me
For I am near
Go not to that earthy mound
I lie not there, beneath the ground
I am near you every day
I see your pleasures, joys and fears
Still to my heart you are dear
I am with you – ever near
To see you weep saddens me
To see your joy gladdens me
So – hinder not my happy way
We will meet another day.

February 6, 2008

How are you supposed to let someone that you love more than anything go? Do people not realize what they are saying? You just cant. There isn't a reason, its just impossible. I miss you more than anything. I think of you every second of everyday, you never leave my mind. I see all these pictures of you smiling, your face so full of life and I forget that your gone and that those are just memories. I

February 6, 2008

Some people say I am supposed to go on with life and let you go,just move on,dont think about what happened just realize you in a better place and your not in pain anymore, and I have tried. But my heart is still broken I miss you every day I think of all the time I Wasted that I could have spent with you or at least called but I didn't and that's my fault it doesnt mean I didn't love you because I love you more then you will ever know I just didn't show you often enough. I miss you and I am sory.

February 5, 2008

I feel like I’ve just existed
And now it’s been a year.
I don’t know how I’ve lived and breathed
Without you being here.

I know you lived your lifetime
As short as that seems to me,
But the pain in my heart is still so great,
Yet I know your spirit is free.

At times I think I hear you
The thoughts come to my mind.
I struggle for the sound of your voice,
But your voice I cannot find.

Yet you come to me in many ways
So I know you did not die,
You want to tell me that you’re close,
And to please stop asking Why.

Our lives on earth seem all too brief,
Or brief as it seems to me.
But where you are is forever,
God calls that Eternity!

February 4, 2008

Missing you more and more everyday, although its nothing new... I've gotten used to the pain, the not being able to sleep, eat, not being able to go anywhere, do anything, listen to music without you coming to mind. Still haven't been able to go anywhere and see someone that resembles you and not think its you. I miss you big guy.. Still my #1, my big brother, my best friend, my protector. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Love, your little sissy

Sister

February 4, 2008