Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Happy Fathers Day up there in Heaven. You are the one person that deserves this day the most. You only had a short amount of time here with Trev but you gave him alot of memories. He knows your his Daddy and he knows that your in Heaven. You are a WONDERFUL father.

June 15, 2008

I know Dad's having a hard Father's Day without you here. I feel so sorry for him, and Trebo too. This is supposed to be your day with him and your not here to celebrate it. We all miss you so badly. At least he knows that his Daddy loves him more than anything. We all know it too. What we would give to have you here with us is unmeasurable. Missing you more and more with each passing day. Please continue to watch over us all, my Guardian Angel. I LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE SKY. Best buddies "foreber and eber". Promise

Kierstan
Little Sister

June 15, 2008

In just a few min. it will be Farthers Day,I know their are thing in life that we are not ment to understand.It makes no since to me that you are not here with Trevor.You are such a wonderful Dad to that little man.I will never let you be forgotten,this like every day since you left will never be the same I love and miss you so much Charlie.I pray somehow you know that.Keep watch over all of us and may Gods blessing be on you Renee and Trev. Love ya man.

June 14, 2008

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
But these four walls close in more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside

> And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is a-tumblin' down
I can say it clearly but you're no where around

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words just couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are so lonely
The days are so sad
I just keep thinking
About the love that we had
Nobody knows it but me
.....You know that the first line isn't true, but this song feels so real to me now. Funny how you can always love a song and then one day your world ends and you can relate it to everything huh? I'll always remember listening to this with you. Missing you

June 13, 2008

Hope your livin it up in Heaven. It's miserable down here without you. It just gets harder and harder everyday. People are wrong, it doesn't get any better and I am so tired of hearing "It's almost been a year, it doesn't hurt that bad anymore". Well, it does. The pain never eases. My heart just doesn't seem to heal. I've tried and it won't. What I would give to have you here with me. Noone knows. I LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE SKY. Best Buddies "Foreber and eber". Love, Sissy

Kierstan

June 13, 2008

Missing you more and more as each day goes by. How I wish you were here. Can't wait to see you again. Its gettin tougher and tougher as the days go by. It seems so long and just like days at the same time. I Miss You More than anything. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best Buddies "foreber and eber"...Love, Sissy

Kierstan Cook
Little Sister

June 11, 2008

I never knew I can hurt like this And everyday Life rolls on I wish I can talk to you For a while Miss you but Not to cry As time goes bye And It's true You reached A better place Still I'd give The world To see your face It's so hard to except The fact you gone forever

Mariah Carey
Bye Bye

These lyrics sound way too true now. Miss you

June 11, 2008

My heart won't stop pounding
as my memories grow thin
I try to remember
your face
your voice
even your grin

I can't remember the last time
I was truly happy
or when I really smiled
I wish that you were here
to make my life worth while

I live my life as if you were here,
as if you were with me,
as if you were near
I pray if you were
that you'd be proud of your girl
I've made so many accomplishments
though mistakes I've made more
there's so many things
that you could've taught me
so many things
I wish to learn
I often yearn for your voice
but receive silence in return
I think about you constantly
about how my life would change
But I'll never get the chance
I'll never end the pain
would I be happier,
or remain sad?
I know it can't be worse
than the life that I've had
I feel so selfish saying this
for you're the one
who got the worst of God's gift
I tell myself
that it was your time
I tell myself
that everything is fine
But within the pieces
of your fallen life
in went my heart,
you were my life.
I cherish the treasures
of your past life
the blankets,
the cards,
your photos held tight
I try to help dad
But I know he's not fine
I hear him slowly count
the days 'til he dies
there's a hole in my heart
that constantly bleeds
it's a wound from the many knifes
that your death brought to me

Kierstan
Little Sister

June 8, 2008

Charlie, remember back 1 year ago....... You, Nee, and Treb were camping with us, and we had the funny arguement about the healthy rice crispies breakfast!!! crazy huh!!! I'm so glad you guys came came with us camping. It was the first and last family camping trip with all of us together. I'm gonna try to get Nee and trevor to come with us again. I promise to buy Treb some rice crispies and let him eat them for breakfast....even though they are made outta sugar!!! We miss ya Charlie, Love Mel

Melissa Cook
Sister-in-Law

June 8, 2008

I've really been having a tough week. I really miss you. This month it will be a year. I can't believe it. It's gone by so fast and slow at the same time. What I would give to see you again, you have no idea. Or maybe you do. I always feel like your right by my side, like you never leave. But what I wouldn't give to have you here with me. To hear your voice, your laugh. And that beautiful, bright eyed smile. It just keeps getting tougher and tougher. I miss you more and more as the days go by. Thank you for loving me and being there for me and continuing to do so. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best Buddies "foreber and eber". Always. Love, Sissy

June 6, 2008

We miss you Charlie.

June 4, 2008

just want you to know i think of you every day the reminders of you every where like when we make ice i will never forget you and your sense of humor and that hold your breath laugh missing you ds

Donna
Mother-in-law

June 4, 2008

Sitting there always, in my mind's eye.
Sunshine dancing soft off brown hair.
To be his hero, I only can try.
Watch him grow, learn, and love with patience to spare.

To teach him and see
Of how he
Reminds me
Of all I can be.

I hear his voice clearly,
Splendid in sound.
I am part of him always,
To him I am bound.

Heart-filled love and pride,
Swarming inside.
Only his hope,
With this I reside.

Seeing his face,
As it changes in time.
Becoming a man,
Yet he is still mine.

Seeing him meet the love of his life.
Finding the secret to make her his wife.

Courageous and bold,
With astounding espri.
His soul understood,
So much he can be.

To sit and to talk,
Beneath shade of tree.
As we watch and observe,
The web of our family.

My son, my heart, my soul,
He will be there forever.
My heart incomplete?
To this I say, never.

In the future, someday
I will hear his voice.
And this I tell you,
I will rejoice.

To see his blue eyes,
Hear his soft voice.
Always and forever,
I give thanks for this choice.

To be my first son.
To have and to hold.
I pray for this often.
For time not to fold.

One day you will see,
My days drawn so near,
How much I have loved him,
How much he was here.

With me always,
In my minds eye,
From the day of my birth,
Till this day, when he lies.

Lying so still,
At peace with myself.
My last breath of air.
His last taste of health.

And when the day comes,
As I'm sure that it will,
With love and full care,
I will be with him still.

For he is my son,
In my mind's eye.
I am his father,
For him I would die.

He is with me truth-filled,
The length of his life.
He loved me heartfelt,
Through laughter and strife.

For he will look at his son,
His first born child,
And know I am there in him,
Tender and mild.

I was his father,
And he was my son.
A loving relation,
To never be undone.

....from our dad

June 4, 2008

Sitting alone staring into space
But all I can see is a memory of your face
I still smell you when I put you t-shirts on
I wish you were here but sadly you’re gone
I’ll never forget you though I sometimes wish I could
You were there with me through everything, the sad, the bad, the good
I lie awake for hours staring at the ceiling
No one understands the vicious hurt I’m feeling
But you would have understood, you knew everything
Whenever I needed to talk you were the one I’d ring
You meant the world to me, you still do
And everything I achieve in life I do it thinking of you
For months after you left me I pretended not to feel a thing
But I felt so guilty if I was happy, smiling, even laughing
I feel you now watching me; it gives me warmth like a summer breeze
I know you’re in no pain now, and I’m glad you’re free
But I wish you could share your freedom with me
Life without you is driving me insane
and I cant even begin to get over the pain

Kierstan
Little Sister

June 4, 2008

Hello again, Chuckles! I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. And missing you as always. I miss all of you kids terribly. But knowing that I won't see you again until it's my time to depart hurts so deeply. Remember my first deer season? The stove "backfiring" while you and your dad and Pops were out hunting. I'll never forget the look on your brother's face and how he ran. Nor the look on your faces when you got back and realized that it was the stove and not another hunter out there somewhere. I miss those times. But not nearly as much as I miss you. You're in our hearts, Son. And your legacy will live on in that beautiful little man you and Renee gave us. Thank you! I love you, Charlie! Bigger than the sky!

LaVonne
Step-mother

June 3, 2008

Charlie, it doesn't feel like almost a year ago you left us, it just feels like days. i still think about you everday, and how I wish you were here, you'll always be my hero.

Brittany
sister-in-law

June 3, 2008

Although you were a part of this life for a very short period of time
I felt as though a life time had nearly passed us by
Your caring, kind demeanor was clearly not a choice
Many saw it as a sign of weakness; I saw it as a sign of rejoice

You lived your life to the fullest, though many would disagree
You loved with all your heart, giving to all including me
Who were they to judge you and tell you how you’re “supposed to be”
A man so full of wisdom; a man so willing to agree

Avoiding confrontation was one of your mottos in this life
Being passive and forgiving, always giving in to winless fights
I’m so proud of you for not allowing them to change the man you were
Though the time spent alone without you is sadly fading into a blur

I know you’re watching over us and finally in a joyful place
But I can’t help miss my brother who has left us without a trace
So many take for granted the wonderful people who enter their lives
I will embrace our memories forever; continuing to honor and to thrive

My loyalty will remain to you as will my heart and devotion as well
But not to those who choose to dishonor you with their thoughtless farewells
Wait patiently for me father in Heaven’s far right corner as we agreed
For the time will come for certain to be reunited as you promised to take the lead

....the computer messed up in the middle of my message.. im sorry.. I Love You Bigger than the Sky. Best Buddies "foreber and eber". Love, Sissy

Kierstan

June 2, 2008

It was really neat the other night. I know you were there with me. I was in the car looking at the beautiful pink sky. Which to me is another sign from you and I was flipping through the radio stations and nothing was on. Well I went to one of the presets that I had already passed and a song they played at your funeral was on, when I started listening to it the sky turned from pink back to blue. It just really got me. Even the littlest things that I see or hear let me know that you are here with me. Trying to guide me and help me get through this awful time. I can't believe in less than a month you will have been gone for a year. Its unbelievable. The pain still burns as much as the night this all happened. I miss you so badly. I don't know how to do it without you. You're the only person I really had and now your gone. To be honest, I don't know what to do without you. I just barely make it through every day and then the next one begins. Remember that old country song "One more day"? That song reminds me of you everytime I hear it because its true. What I would give for one more day with you, but then I know that you would be gone again and it would still hurt as bad. If I had one more day I would tell you all the things that I never told you. You knew everything about me, but the one thing I never told you is how much you meant to me, how you were my idol and I wanted to be just like you. I just took it for granted that you knew and im sure you did. I just wish I would have told you before you couldnt reply. If I could go back, I would go back to the very last time I saw you at Pops' when

June 2, 2008

It's hard to believe we are almost at the one year mark. We are having a big get together at dad and Jodi's for the fouth of July this year. And it just wont be the same without you there to help dad with the fireworks. We miss you Charlie. Please continue to watch over us and keep us safe.

Jenny
Sister-In-Law

May 30, 2008

Son, I'm thinking about you again today, just like every other day. I wish I could see that beautiful smile one more time, even in my dreams. Let us know you're watching, Chuckles. You've left an amazing book of memories in each of our hearts, the most memorable being your love and that fabulous personality. You are our tough teddy bear, Chas. It's hard to believe that the next stone we'll have to overcome is the one year mark. The same day being Poppy's birthday. It's unbelievable that you've been gone this long. I love you, Son and miss you more and more each day!

LaVonne
Step-mother

May 30, 2008

What I wouldn't give to be able to talk to you right now Charlie. You are so deeply missed. I love you.

Ruthie

May 29, 2008

Son, today marks 11 months. The days go by and time marches on, but our hearts will never mend. We all miss you so much, Charlie. The family really needs you to help the Lord watch over us, each and every one. I pray that you know how very much I love you, Chuckles. It has been an honor to be your step-mother and you know I've always thought of you boys as my own. You ARE a Hero and give each of us so many reasons to be proud of you and being part of your family. I've not been to see your beautiful stone for a while, but I'll be going within the next week. It is such a beautiful memorial! Renee did an awesome job. I've never seen anything so remarkable. I love you, Son. Infinity squared.

LaVonne
Step-mother

May 28, 2008

Charlie, i think about you everyday, i like to look up to the sky, and know everything will be okay, thing's are just hard without you here, it just doesn't feel right, i really don't think it ever will, keep looking down on us bud, it gives me comfort.

Brittany
Sister-in-law

May 22, 2008

It may have been the will of the most high
But no matter how hard I may try
I still can not help to wonder why
It had to be you, the apple of my eye
Of all people that had to so suddenly die?
When I remember the love between you and I,
Most times I just can’t help breaking down to cry
And it is so hard to move on even when my tears dry.

Long before you succumbed and passed on,
We did believe you were obviously success prone
For you took the world by storm from the time you were born
And even inspired me to look forward to each new dawn
But now that in the twinkle of an eye you are gone,
I feel so empty I may fail to hang in there all alone
But I’ll try the best I can to stay strong when I mourn
And then move on without you, hoping I’ll keep on keeping on.

Bar the times you were bogged down by disease,
While you were around here life was near perfect bliss
For we lived our lives to the full as and when we’d please
Before fate decided that you should suddenly cease.
Bubby dear, you are the one I will always miss
And now that you are not there to hear this
I will tell you I love you by blowing one more kiss
And praying that God will rest your soul in eternal peace.
........I need you now more than ever, Please help me Bubby. Your all I have. I need my big brother and best friend to help me. I Love You. Sissy

Kierstan

May 22, 2008

When I see your face
I remember your smile;
The way you moved,
Your couragous style.

Your laughter rings clearly,
Straight through to my heart;
It seems like only yesterday
We were made to part.

Your incredible strength,
The way you stuck by me;
You were my best friend,
It was so easy to see.

My soul cries for you,
When memories flood back;
Of the person I lost,
And reminds me of what lacks.

I have mourned for months,
Over your painful death;
The day you passed,
They laid my heart to rest.

I hurt for your presence,
And long for the day we reunite;
I will settle for the memories
I hold very tight.

.....I miss you. Love you bigger than the sky Bubby, best buddies forever and ever.

Kierstan

May 21, 2008