Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Joe,
I feel like I missed out not getting to know you in life. Your wife is just an amazing woman and mother and the way she misses you makes my heartache. Just a few weeks ago we passed the 2 year anniv and it seemed like just yesterday Matt and I took the the kids out the the state memorial for the 1 yr. Your charisma and smile exceed you even while you are gone. I pray that Carrie heart heals with the loving memories of you and that your boys always know what a great man their daddy was. Hopefully I am living such a life as to get to meet you when it is finally my turn to go home. Much love, respect and admiration!

Carrie,
The grace you have had these 2 years are astounding. You have held your head and your postition when many would have crumbled, given in and broken. I love you, and I hope that as the years pass your heart starts to mend.
Forever in my heart, your Friend Heather

Heather McKim
Wife of #774 Sacramento Co S.D

November 22, 2008

Thinking of you on this 2 year mark since your ultimate sacrafice. My thoughts are with you and your family! I know how hard today is on all of them. You are not forgotten! Thank you for your service, you are a true hero!

Jennifer Fenelli
Sister in law to John Miller CHP EOW 11-16-07

November 14, 2008

Hey Dad,
So, it's been 2 years since you've been gone. I'm sitting here in Williamsburg, VA getting ready to leave for Kuwait on Wednesday. I just want you to know that you've been in my mind in just about everything I do. I constantly try to think of what you would say or do in my position. Your strong words of advice and encouragement are a constant source of guidance for me. I only wish that you were here in person to tell me these things. I am constantly wanting to do right by you. I know that seems silly seeing as how I've been doing this on my own for 2 years now, but I haven't. You've always been in the forefront of my mind and my heart in everything I do. I know that you're proud of me up there, and I know that I'm doing the right thing by going on this deployment. Just do me a favor while you're up there....keep an eye on Jo for me. Keep her safe for me while I'm away. I love you old man, and I hope to see you again. Not anytime soon I hope. Haha, I still have a lot that I wanna do and see. Anyways, I better let you go. BTW, I got promoted last week, so I'm no longer a Seaman. I'm now a 3rd Class Petty Officer. Haha, who would have thought.

Your Son,
Joshua

Joshua Hudnall
Son

November 14, 2008

My thoughts and prayers are with your loved ones and friends on this second anniversary of your EOW. Continue to keep watch over them and those still out on patrol watching over the Thin Blue Line. You will never be forgotten

James Sheppard
Father of Sgt. Jason L. Sheppard EOW 12/7/06

November 14, 2008

I LOVE YOU WITH MY ENTIRE BEING! I MISS YOU WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE! Please meet me in my dreams to give me the strength I need get through tomorrow. I cannot believe that I have been without you for 2 years minus a few hours. My heart aches for you every second of every day. I love you , I miss you, I love you, I miss you I love you!
Forever 754
Forever your loving wife,
me!

Carrie Hudnall
Loving wife

November 13, 2008

keeping your family in my prayers at this time. thank you for your services. may God be with your family & friends during this time. You are a ture hero.

Anonymous

November 10, 2008

Joey,
I have so much to say. You know, I really thought when I was getting ready to leave for college I would change. Instead of changing....all I can do is remember everything. And God I miss home so much. I miss my dad, my Cops, and so much more. I left almost everything behind when I came here....but... the only thing I didn't leave behind was you. Everyday, when I get up and look at myself in the face, I think of you. When I saw you going out the door, I'll never forget what you said. "I'll see you in the morning princess" were your exact words. Joe,....I will be waiting for that morning for the rest of my life. I have never told anyone how much I miss you. People don't understand you know. They didn't grow up around cops their whole lives. But I did. The only person that I can talk to about you is my dad. You know he's in Bako now. He's wanted to leave Kern Valley ever since you left. Work for him has never been the same. I talked to Rob Cruise too. haha, he's funny. You know, Rob and I would get into the worst fights ever! He always beat the hell out of me too.
You know what my dad said to me when he dropped me off in San Jose? Right before he got into the car he said, "Joe would be really proud of you, and he would had wanted to be here." Words can never express how I feel. I love you so much Joe. So many people loved you. Oh gosh, you wouldn't had believed how many people were standing tall for you on your funeral. Everyone, even on the streets stopped for you. Just a good old country boy that happened to change so many worlds. My life is forever changed. You once said to me, "Never side with the enemy" and I always took that to heart. I love you forever Uncle Joe. You have a spot forever in my heart. I know God has blessed you wherever you are, and most of all, he has blessed me for being able to just get to know such an incredible man. Love you always and forever.

Annie Stephens

Annie Stephens
Friends

October 21, 2008

Hi daddy.... well so much has changed.... I miss U deeply.... I need u more then ever right now.....
I love u daddy...
Love ur princess

Jennifer Hudnall
Daughter

October 20, 2008

Joe,

I just want you to know that you are thought of every day. Thanks for being an angel to watch over us! You are missed!!

Anonymous

October 17, 2008

It seems like forever,since that last weekend with you! I sit here thinking about it and how proud you were of Josh. I pray that you watch over him as he is deployed overseas this next year. He wants nothing more then to make you proud and honor you by doing wonderful things with his life. He has become such a wonderful young man who I know will make a wonderful Husband. Lots of things have changed in our lives, but we both hope that you will be there to watch over us as we say our vows next year in front of our family and friends.

I also want to send my prayers out to Jen, I know things seem like they get better, then just get worse. My heart is always with you, and I know your dad is always there to guide you. Just remember all the great memories you have with Joe when times get tough and hopefully they will pull you through.

Anonymous

October 15, 2008

Hi baby...it has been a while since I have written to you. I sit here at the computer while the boys are playing while they are getting ready for school. You would be so proud of them as they have grown up so much in the last almost 2 years. I cannot believe that in 6 weeks and 1 day it will be 2 years since I last saw you, touched you, kissed you, todl you a joke, confided in you, shared secrets with you, spoke to you and heard you say "I love you" for the last time. It still seems so completely sureal even though I live it everyday.

I just wanted you to know that I love and miss you with every beat of my heart. It aches for you daily, I ache for you daily. I just love you and miss you...I need you.

Love always and forever "754"
your loving wife

Carrie Hudnall
Loving wife

October 2, 2008

I had the pleasure to meet Carrie along with Amanda Throne today in Bakersfield and all I can say is WOW what women. What strength and power. They are the epitome of a cops wife. They were with us at Rio Bravo Country Club for our first golf tournament to benefit the 999 Officer Down Foundation of Kern County.

I met Creighton and Chance and what good boys they are too. (BTW Carrie, I'm glad they found Creighton's little Lego man)

I can not imagine what they must be going through but with Carrie and Amanda at the helm I know this family will endure and help others when that knock comes at the door. God forbid.

God Bless our Cops. Let us pray that it is a LONG time before another wife or husband or a precious child has to deal with this tragedy in their lives. But if and when it happens I know Carrie Hudnell and Amanda Throne will be there to help with the deep hurt. This is a hurt not reserved just for the family's but for all of us in Kern County that love and respect our men and women of law enforcement.

Be forever strong and know how much we mere mortals of Bakersfield stand strong with you and will forever keep you in our prayers.

Jaz McKay

Jaz McKay

September 9, 2008

Hi Joe we miss you so much. Happy late birthday.

Anonymous

August 16, 2008

Happy 45th birthday baby! The boys and I sang Happy Birthday to you this morning before we started our day. At first Creighton was very apprehensive about singing but once Chancellor and I started to sing I could see Creighton smile and hear his beautiful voice singing with us. Such a breakthrough in his healing. I am so proud of him. Today was horrendous...I wont explain as you know because I could feel you with me all day. I love you so much and I am so in love with you. I miss you with every painful beat of my heart, with every tear, and with every breath I take. Forever 754!

Happy Birthday baby! See you in my dreams and in our babies' eyes!

Carrie Hudnall
Loving wife

August 15, 2008

Hey sweetie! I wanted to thank you for your "welcome home" when I got home from COPS Kids camp with Creighton. We met so many very wonderful kids and surviving spouses. It was so sad to see that tragedy like ours has struck so many people but it was rewarding in the healing and friendships that both Creighton and I made. Creighton really made some healing progress at camp and it brought tears for me because he has never really truely opened up and expressed how he feels. He always feels like the man around here even though I told him I am the man and woman around the house now and he and his little brother are the kids of the house. I cannot believe that your 45th birthday is in just a few days. Time sure has gone by. It seems like just yesterday we celebrated your 43rd in Tahoe with the boys. A lot has changed around here. More friends have proven that they were not friends at all. It is ok though...I feel like I cut the anchor loose and I feel so much lighter and am able to navigate through this life a little easier. You would be so surprised at those friends who said they would always be here and they are the reasons that I no longer trust anyone. It is ok though, I have you in my heart and soul guiding me through life. I love and miss you with every beat of my heart. Thank you again for my "welcome home" I really needed that.

Love you forever and always.....my wonderful husband! Your loving Butterfly!

Carrie Hudnall
wife ---forever loving 754

August 9, 2008

Hey baby! Happy Father's Day! Today the boys sang "Ain't no mountain high enough" and "Lean on me" this morning for you at the Correctional Peace Officer Memorial prayer breakfast. You were honored with such an amazing ceremony this weekend with the San Francisco Bay as the backdrop. I have never been so proud. We love and miss you will every breath we take. Jimmy built his garage into a poker room in your honor and he has his first official poker game on Friday night. The boys and I are going to attend of course. This does not seem to get any easier as time goes on. I miss you so much. There are times that I feel you right by my side so strong. I get my strength and will to go on from the love and strength I feel from you. Oh hey....Creighton lost his first tooth the night before my birthday. Nikki and her friends were throwing me a party and Creighton stole the show with his tooth in hand. He is getting so big.. you would be so very proud of him. Chancellor is talking so well now. I am sure you are up there pushing his words through. Good night baby. Be safe, I love you and have a great night. I love you with all my heart and soul forever and ever!
Love ya, Bye
your loving wife

Carrie Hudnall
Wife

June 16, 2008

Hey Daddy, I miss you so much. Vincent is almost 2 years old and Eric is almost 1 year old. Every morning we kiss the picture of you in my hallway. I hope you see it. I miss you so much. I always see movies were kids lose one of their parents, and i used to think, That will never happen to me. My mom is always home and healthy and my dad is made of steel. Now I know that anything can happen. I keep mom and Carrie close now. I keep my kids and Brandon and friends closer now too. I remeber when I was little and you used to tell me about the scars on your arms and legs and that it was because of the dragon you had slayed. that the dragon spit fire on you. LOL. I believed you till I was 9.
I never thought I could lose you. And I did. I am left with many memories, but that is what makes it way harder for me. Cause I will never hear your lame Jokes,( now they are no longer lame but great jokes). I will never get to see you or dance with you at my wedding. It was all taken away from me. I miss you daddy. I have so much to say but i will leave it for another day. I love you and miss you daddy,
your daughter.

Jennifer Hudnall
Daughter

March 26, 2008

Uncle Joey,

Being only 6 years younger than you I am reminded how short life is. My mother always told me how much I was like you growing up. Getting to know you the real you was always a hilight of my yearly California trips as an adult.

I shed a couple tears when I learned how the Governer of California honored your departure with raising the American flag to half mast. Working in DC, I am only a couple blocks from the National Police Officers Memorial and I have yet to go. I plan to go soon to see your name immortalized forever in stone.

Your service in law enforcement carried with it honor and duty. With that I salute you and wish only the best for your wife and children.

James Harmon

James Harmon
Nephew

February 19, 2008

Hey baby! Just wanted to let you know that I love you and miss you with every breath I take. Creighton is in his first school play on Saturday. He is so excited...you would be so proud of him. He is playing the orange chamillion. He is growing up so fast. I am back in school for Criminal Justice. I know you thought I would like to be a teacher, but I feel a calling to CJ since it was your life and because we are still stuck in the CJ system since the trial has not happened yet. The boys talk about you ALL the time. It feels like you are still here with us...the only difference is that we cannot see you or touch you. I feel your warmth in my heart and soul. Dan and I talked yesterday about why I was not able to see you the day you died. I understand the reasoning behind the decision and I know that Dan had our best interest at heart. I want to see you again and feel your arms around me. I want to pick up your dirty socks from the living room floor in front of the couch. I so hope that you are proud of me and proud of the boys. Creighton is in basketball and you should see him shoot a basket. At his first game I reminded him how proud you would be of him if you were here with us. He is having a really hard time without you and I am sure it is because he remembers his life with you alive. Chancellor remembers only bits and pieces of his life with you and the rest is of memories we have talked to him about. I love you with everything I am, everything I have and every breath I take. I miss you so much.
Love ya bye....
Your loving and devoted wife

Carrie Hudnall
Wife

February 8, 2008

Merry Christmas, Joe!!

Joanna
long ago friend

December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas sweetheart! Today me and the boys and Nikki spent the day alone at home as we decided so many years ago. The boys loved their goodies from Santa, Nikki and from us. We went to a movie and I remembered how you used to get the extra large refillable popcorn and eat the whole thing before the movie started and then send either myself or one of the kids to get you a refill. I started to laugh out loud and no one knew why. Just good memories that is all. The boys and I took a Christmas tree to where you are. It was so sweet how the boys were telling you what they got for Christmas and Creighton was singing to you while we were out there. It was wonderful having a low key Christmas...it didnt make me miss you any less though. We've been having some hard times which I know too will pass. What doesnt kill us will make us stronger ...right??? I saw 4 more rainbows on Thursday and I just knew you were watching over us. Some people think that I am crazy for thinking that way but who cares. I grasp on to everything I possibly can to feel you close to me onece again. I miss and love you with everything I have. Tonight is even harder now that my sister went home. I want you, I need you , I love you and I miss you.
I love you baby!
Love ya...bye
Carrie

CArrie Hudnall
Wife

December 25, 2007

Hey Dad
I miss you so much. Since you have been gone everyone forgot about me and Josh. But to let you know we are doing fine without them. All we need are each other.
I miss you so much dad. I cant wait to see you again someday. I talk about you all the time to Vincent and Eric and Eric looks just like you. I love you dad. Thanks for a great day today. I felt you with me all day. I never felt so strong. I love you dad, keep me under your wings always.
Jennifer Hudnall

Jennifer Hudnall
Daughter

December 23, 2007

To Carrie and family: I do not know you and will probably never meet you but your poem and rememberances have touched my heart.
Please know that during this holiday season, my prayers and thoughts are with you and as I lit a candle at mass tonight for all the law enforcement who have given their lives I said an extra prayer for your family.
May god bless and give you solace during this holiday season.
Respectfully submitted
Deborah Roelandts (911 retired)
Oconomowoc Wisconsin

Deborah Roelandts (911 retired)
retired

December 22, 2007

Joe,

It’s been over a year since you left. I just got home from another funeral, Deputy Kent Haws from Tulare County Sheriff’s Department EOW 12/17/07. I’m feeling down, what a terrible tragedy.

I always wanted to leave a few words. I always wanted to write something so profound that it would honor your life and completely remove the anguish of your death. I’m slowly realizing that I’ll never be able to accomplish that goal.

On the anniversary of you death, Carrie hosted a poker party. There was a great turn out, just like old times. As the game was getting ready to start, I went up to the second floor. I took a minute to enjoy the moment. Upstairs, all the kids were laughing and playing. Downstairs, the house was packed. Everyone was eating, smiling and happy. Life isn’t always full of tragedy and sadness. There are moments, like this, when everything is perfect.

Joe, I know you were there it couldn’t have been that good without you.

Carrie knows to call if she needs anything. I check with her occasionally. It has been awhile since I called her. She has always been very strong, even when I knew how weak she really was. I hope I have been some help to her. Jimmy is the one who has always been there for Carrie and your boys. You would be so proud of him, I am. He is truly a friend.

OK BYE!
Your friend…

Dan Leper

Dan Leper
Friend

December 21, 2007

Hey baby! I saw 5 rainbows today and thought of you! I felt your arms around me in everything I did today! It was indeed a great day! I never left you the finished poem that I posted for you so many months ago...well here it is! I hope you like it. Many many tears went into this. I love and miss you with every breath! Thank you for today!

The Knock at the Door....



One minute happiness abounds

the next sorrow surrounds,

taking life for granted

now every breath is counted.



To be innocent as our children are,

our resilience would take us far,

The boys miss you in every instance

I try to fight the pain with such resistance.



I have yet to ask God why

because all I do is cry.

I stay strong for the boys,

because they are what is left of my joy.



You left for work as every other day

but this was not like every other day,

I received the dreaded knock at the door,

when I heard the news I dropped to the floor.



NO! NO! NO! it couldn't be true,

I just talked to him and he said "I love you!"

The end of one life is the beginning of another,

is how I was told I am now a single mother.



I was whisked away to a private room,

my life was suddenly shattered and filled with gloom.

Surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of people

tears streaming down deputies faces.



Our friends gathered together inside and out

Some in uniform and some without.

A look of concern and relief in the wives eyes

Their husbands holding me close and wiping my eyes.



I wanted to see and hold my loving husband,

I wanted him to know I was there with him.

'Till death us do part

was not an option in my heart.



I never was able to see my love and best friend

until they cleaned him up in the end.

I regret that I did not forcefully look for my husband

What kind of person was I to leave him alone in the hospital?



I am completely numb and in disbelief

It has now been 12 weeks since that dreadful day

Tuesday November 14, 2006 is a day I live from day to day

Expecting to hear Joe walk in the door.



Creighton has Joe's eyes,

Chancellor has Joe's chin.

I have Joe's babies to love and learn from

Joe forever has my heart and soul.



Joe you will never know the depth of my love

as there are no words to describe my love.

I will forever hold you in my heart as my first love and soul mate

No one will ever replace you in our lives.



You are one of a kind

You blessed me with the privilege of being in your life

You blessed me with our wonderful children

You would be so very proud of them.



You are a hero in all of our hearts,

Your face so alive it tears me up inside.

Your pictures show such a happy man

There is no way you could be never again.



Creighton and Chancellor console me like little men

when I am on my knees in uncontrollable pain.

They miss you so much as they cling to me for reassurance

I hold them tight and tell them about their daddy and your heroics.



We will forever love you as much as on the day you left us

You will live forever in our hearts and souls!

I will raise our children to the best of my ability

We will live for you and make sure that your life was not in vain.



You have made us so proud and honored to be your family

If I knew the day we married this would be our fate

I would have married you that day

as well as every time you asked me to marry you.



I love you my dear sweet husband

I miss you my dearest best friend

I am lonely without you my dear wonderful love

I will take all of you with me all of my life.

By Carrie Hudnall

Carrie Hudnall
Joe's loving wife

December 7, 2007