Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hi Jess,
I just wanted to let you know that I agree that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone but I know how tortured you've been and hopefully writing some of it helped you to cope with some of those feelings and get them out. You are one of the most amazing people I ever met and you and Dave were a wonderful couple who made three beautiful monsters... I mean children ;) I agree too that Dave would want you to move on and find happiness in your life, that's what he was doing when he was here, trying to make you happy so of course he'd want that for you now. Bill is a great guy and he shouldn't have to worry about people's opinions but you know what they say about opinions. The two of you have enough on your plates so focus on the things that matter and let the rest blow away in the wind. I love you, all of you and I'm looking forward to February and watching you take the next steps to start something new and wonderful in your life, you deserve every happiness Jess, don't ever forget that.

Val
friend

October 6, 2009

Dear Mrs Petzold,

I don't know you but I live in the Lehigh Valley close to Upper Saucon Township. Officer Petzold was obviously a wonderful husband, father and police officer and I am very sorry for your loss. The community needs more people like him and it is sad that he was taken away from his family so soon.

I wish you much happiness in your second marriage, which I read about in your note. The fact that you're getting remarried doesn't mean you're forgetting Officer Petzold or leaving him behind or letting him down. He'll always be in your heart. He died too young and you're young too and no one can ask you to spend the next fifty years of your life all alone with three kids to raise by yourself. Remarrying is not being disrespectful to Officer Petzold's memory. No one else is walking in your shoes and you should do what you think is best for you and your kids.

I visited the OfficerDavid.org website and it is just beautiful.

Lehigh Valley Resident

September 23, 2009

Hi Jess ~

I just read your reflection from September 9th so first I need to say congratulations to you on your engagement. I am so very, very happy for you and for Sarah, Samantha and Jonathan. Bill sounds like a wonderful man and I'm looking forward to meeting him (I promise not to spill any grape juice).

Then second I need to say that I am so very sorry that you have had to face the realization that not everyone will understand or accept your need to move on with you life.
I left a reflection on Jesse's site a while back about this subject and I'd like to copy it here for you:

" I have found how much people like to look at me (and other women like me) and judge how we have handled our situations. People think if we take any steps to try to move on with our lives that we are betraying your memory - that we didn't love you or that we somehow weren't devoted to you. But you and the people close to me know that you are always right below the surface of my being - it's hard to explain how I function day to day and yet you are on my mind constantly. People who don’t really know me or know what it’s like to be widowed so young don’t understand that trying to move on isn’t about not loving you and still wanting you here, or about forgetting you – trying to move on is the only choice I have because you aren’t coming back. Finding happiness again doesn’t erase the darkness, your memory is a shadow of heaviness that follows me every where I go, but our lives didn’t end the day you died (nor should they!) and I finally have come to accept and believe that I do deserve to be happy again. I remember reading a reflection on another officer’s site left by his widow after she had remarried and she talked so eloquently about the blending of her past and her future and how by marrying again she wasn’t leaving her past behind – she was taking it with her and that he would always be a part of their lives. That is how I feel too – you will always be a part of our lives. The only response I have for anyone who would pass judgment on me for wanting to move on and be happy is that I hope you never have to walk in my shoes – they are terrible, ugly, painful shoes and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone."

Your reflection from the 9th was beautiful, Jess - but you shouldn't have to explain yourself or apologize to anyone. You and Dave were together for a long time (since high school!). You built your life with him, had children with him, had a strong and loving marraige with him, had hopes and dreams and plans for the future........you would still be with him if you had any say in the matter. But you don't have any say, you weren't given a choice - for whatever reason Dave was taken away from you and from your children and honestly Jess you know that he would want you to be happy. You know he would want you to have a man in your life, someone to love you and to take care of his children in his absence. HE WOULD WANT THAT FOR YOU.

You and I have spent so many nights alone, so many nights crying and asking "WHY?!?" and so many nights praying that this isn't the end of the journey - praying that there is more for us here, more to our story, more for our kids. I know where your heart is, Jess, and I LOVE your analogy about growing a second one! That's exactly what happens, you grow a new heart, you make room in your soul for another person. Noone will ever fill the void that was left when Jesse died, or when Dave died - but that doesn't mean we should spend the rest of our lives in mourning. Of course you and I know that we will mourn forever - our grief will never go away, it will never end it simply changes direction with time and becomes something we learn to live with. But the first heart can hold all of that while the second heart can slowly fill with new love. New hope. New plans and new dreams.

The bend in the road is not the end of the road, Jess, unless you refuse to take the turn. I am so glad you've decided to take the turn.

I read somewhere - I think it was in the book by the 9/11 widows - that it takes a very strong man to date a widow because he isn't just dating HER, he is also dating the memory of her late husband. That there are always 3 people in the relationship and because the marraige was happy when it ended so abruptly, it's so very difficult for the widow to move on without feeling guilty, without feeling like she is cheating. It's not like after a divorce where the woman is happy about moving on - for a widow it is much different and much more complicated. Bill must be an amazing man to be willing to join you on this journey, Jess! I'm happy to read that he was a friend of Dave's - what better way to blend your past and your future than with someone who already knows Dave. God has truly blessed you.

I know how difficult the past 3 years have been for you, Jess - we shared many tear-filled phone calls. I know how hard it was for you to learn to accept this new life, a life without Dave. You have handled yourself with dignity and grace, you have shown strength and resilience and you have certainly made your husband proud.

I hope that the people in your life who are having a difficult time accepting this can eventually see that your moving on is not only the right thing to do for you and your children, but it is what Dave would have wanted for you. If anyone doubts the truth of that, then maybe it is time for them to step off of your path and allow you to continue this journey without them. Or maybe they just need to take a few steps back.

I could go on and on......

Please know that I am always here for you, Jess. I am your friend and your sister and I will always walk this journey with you, wherever it may take us and however long the road may be. Stay strong.

LUMI
Carin

Carin E. Sollman, widow
Officer Jesse E. Sollman EOW 3/25/05

September 23, 2009

Hey there, been awhile since I've written. I spent my birthday weekend down at the Beach and was thinking of all the times I called you from one of my favorite watering holes and we would chat, while you were hard at work(lol). Ironically on the trip home yesterday we ran into the motorcade for the fallen Georgetown Delaware officer and needless to say I lost it. It brought the memory back to the forefront and it seemed like yesterday that we lost you. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and remember what a great friendship we shared. No one could ever replace you in any way, shape or form. It would be foolish for anyone to even try. Thanks Dave for giving me something to smile about everyday and especially for being there always when needed the most. Someone once told me "Into every life some rain must fall, Thanks for the sunshine", those words were never truer then when related to you. Luv Ya Kid!

Barb
NSPC & Friend Upper Saucon Twp.PD

September 9, 2009

Hi Hon,
Every day I look at the kids faces and see you reflected back. Every day I watch Jonathan grow and he becomes more like you…Intelligent, witty, funny and a character. I watch the girls growing into smart, independent, passionate young ladies and I know you would be proud. I know you are aware of what’s been going on with all of us….
Today was the girl’s first day back to school. Sarah is now in the middle school and is a big fifth grader. She was sooo excited to get a locker this year. I wish you could have seen her face on orientation day. Samantha is also excited to go into 3rd grade and show all of her little friends her new glasses she had to get this summer. Poor kid…we knew one of them would have to wear them! She is so cute though, even with the glasses! It was great to see them so excited for school and their friends….they really are remarkable kids.
It has been a long summer hon. It has been an emotionally trying summer. We have been trying to move on as you wanted and as you and I discussed long ago…but not everyone is ready us to move on with us. This spring, as you know….Bill and I got back together after seeing each other previously late last year. He was one of your best friends and he continues to tell the kids landscaping stories of when you two worked together long ago. Sometimes that seems like a lifetime ago. Back when Cloey was just a puppy and we were first married. Hard to believe June would have been 15 years of marriage and Cloey will be 16 in December. God how I miss those days.
It has been extremely hard to loose some family and friend support over our engagement announcement. Bill and I were so worried about how the kids would take it…we never really thought it would be as big of an issue for others. The kids are very happy and are thrilled to have Bill around. They see how happy I am and know that they are loved and safe. He will never replace you hon. He doesn’t want to. He only wants to love and support us. Hopefully, in time…everyone will come around.
They will always miss you hon. There are days and will be days in the future when even Bill’s love and support won’t be enough….it won’t be the same as ‘Dad’. But they are strong and I always remind them that you are looking over them and love them more than anything. Their Angel Daddy as Jonathan says.
It has been hard internally as well….however, I feel like I have grown a new heart, instead of feeling like my heart has been split into two. The first heart will always belong to you. I will always cherish our memories, keep them alive with the kids, and honor your memory with my work on the foundation and community center.
My new heart has developed due to the love and patience of Bill. He’s not perfect, but neither am I and nor were you. He is however, a man that wants to honor and keep your memory alive as well as take care of us and make some new dreams come true. I hope in time, the rest of our family and friends will open their hearts, not to someone who wants to replace you, but to someone who wants to love and support me and the kids and remember you as their father and his friend.
I do want to say Thank You to everyone who has been able to be supportive, even while grieving still themselves, to the kids and I during all the trials and tribulations of losing someone, dealing with the loss, moving on and keeping Dave’s memory alive. I am forever grateful and words will never be able to express my gratitude.
Hon, you will never be forgotten…I will see to that with my work on the Officer David M. Petzold Memorial Foundation(OfficerDavid.org). Along with wonderful help of amazing friends and family, we will hit our goal of building a community center in your memory. A center to offer activities and assistance to families just like you did while you were here. It is a lofty goal hon…but someone once said to me that ‘It’s very easy to do something impossible for someone you love.’ This goal will be easy.

I will always miss you hon. I miss our late night conversations about the kids, I miss our quick chats while you were working, I miss planning a future with you, I miss curling up with you at night and I miss telling you ‘I love you and be careful’… But I know you will always be here, in my heart and watching over me…watching over our kids. Waiting till I can be with you again.
I love you hon and always will.
Forever and always,
me

Anonymous

September 8, 2009

missing you tons......love you. and I got your back!

cheryl
sister

August 11, 2009

We offer our heartfelt sympathy to the family, friends and colleagues of Investigator Petzold and we honor his distinguished service to the cause of justice and peace. Sadly, our nation has lost one of its finest citizens, a community has lost a friend and protector, and a family has lost an example of character and courage who they will love and respect forever.

To the family, friends, and colleagues of Investigator Petzold, I would like you to know that a lot of people pray for you, and my hope is that their prayers will give you the strength necessary to move on. Just as you were always with him when he walked the beat or patrolled the streets, know that he will always be with you - wherever you may be. In the days to follow, may you be strengthened by the fact that Investigator Petzold is a man distinguished by exceptional courage and will always be admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. You, your family, and your sacrifice will never be forgotten.

Special Agent
FBI New York City

July 30, 2009

Hi Dave,
I just wanted to say congratulations on your new nephew and thanks for watching over everything. I have a funny feeling that the reason mom and dad P didn't have their appt on Tuesday may have been because you were busy watching over Allie and couldn't be there to 'talk' to them :)
I think of you often especially when I see your little monsters lol... Jess is doing a wonderful job with them but I know you know that too.
Miss you,
Val

Val
friend

July 24, 2009

It was four years ago, today, that we first met. Wish you were still here, brother.

SA
FBI CG

May 15, 2009

David

We never met, but I drove your family around last police week and they captivated me with there love for you. You are a hero. Your sister gave me a picture of you which I have kept in my visor of my cruiser all year. I look at your picture and it reminds me about your sacrifice and your familys warm hearts and the love they have for you. To Davids family your storys and your love has been in my heart since last May and I have never forgotten you guys. I lost touch with you all and would like to reconnect. Please email me [email protected]. Love you guys Nick... AKA the guy who got lost going into DC..

Police Officer
City of Alexandria

May 5, 2009

Dave, I've been thinking about you a lot, lately. I wish you were still here- there's so much to tell you. I read what Jess writes, and it breaks my heart to imagine your son growing up without you, even though I know he'll be strong and smart like you. I hope to meet him someday, if only to tell him more about you.

SA
FBI CG

February 27, 2009

Dave....
You have been in my mind this week as much as you are always in my heart. I wonder what causes you to be in my thoughts some times more than others...I hope it is because you are thinking of me or are around me someway.

I am having a baby (your niece or nephew) this summer! It kills me you will never meet him or her in the flesh but hope you can come to their dreams from time to time as I know you do for your children. I find that so amazing and hope they can always spend time with you there.

It is incredible the amount of love that stays in your heart even after three years it doesn't get any easier....to think of you, to miss you, to forever love you. I miss you big "brother".
............oxoxoxo.................this is me hugging you.
Love you always, miss you more than ever,
Ali

Anonymous

February 26, 2009

Hi hon,
Jonathan asked where his Daddy was today. Whenever he asks or if one of the girl's new friends ask where their dad is...I always take a deep breath and focus on breathing. Even after 3 years it is hard to say it.

Little J told me today he wants to fly in your bi-plane. I'm assuming he has learned from Bert what a bi-plane is, because you know he hasn't learned it from me. He told me about the bi-plane ride you took him on in his dream the other day...that was amazing....Before I go forward with the story, I set the stage by telling everyone that recently I have found out that Jonathan does not like to be spun around. He gets dizzy very easily and cries for 'mommom' when he gets disoriented. Unlike Dave, who loved to spin on some of the craziest rides and in air planes.....so back to the story....
The daycare teacher told me that he woke up from nap time shaken and crying. He told her he was dizzy from the plane ride. Weird I thought...but later that night he told me the whole story. In his dream at nap time that day, he got to ride in a plane up in the sky. He said you were there hon, but not in his plane. He said he had to ride in another plane because there wasn't enough room in your plane for him. He said that both of you were flying up in the sky and having fun, but then he got dizzy which is why he woke up upset. What 3 year old is able to rationalize that there was not enough room in your airplane for him, which is why he had to ride in another plane. I am so thankful that he has some kind of connection with you.
However, it makes it so much harder because he has realized that his Daddy is missing, when he sees all of the other kids picked up by their Dads. For now he accepts that you are up in heaven and watching over us...but soon it will not be so easy. Give me strength hon, I'm going to need it. Give him strength and patience to understand and love you even though you've been taken from us.
I love you and miss you. We all do.
Forever and always,
me

Anonymous

February 23, 2009

R.I.P. BROTHER, YOU'RE SACRIFICE WON'T BE FORGOTTEN, KEEP US SAFE UNTIL WE MEET UP AGAIN

P.O. CEVASCO
RUTGERS PD

February 22, 2009

Not a day has gone by that I didn't miss you. I shouldn't miss you though...because no matter what I do your were somehow involved. No matter What I eat, what I think, what I do, what I say, whatever the outcome is, its because its what you would have wanted me to do. I can feel your presence and hear your voice in everything. Even when I screw up I stop and I think what would Uncle Dave think of that. And then I feel guilty. Whether or not it was a good thing or bad thing I did I feel guilty. Because I wish you could be here in all the good times I have, and be here for the bad ones to smack me upside the head.

Robin and I are Married now, but you already knew that. You were my best man. If you want the truth about why we had a small wedding its because I couldnt stand getting married without you there. You know none of your brothers went. I wasn't mad because the wedding was such short notice, but I was almost relieved. It would have been so much harder for me to see one of them without you. I almost cried when I said I do, partly because it was a very climactic point of my life, but mostly because you weren't there in person to see me. Burt and Cathy have a video of the wedding though so I'll bring it to you when I see you again.

Sarah and Samantha are such good girls, there smart, funny and beautiful. (I guess the UPS guy has good genes) Just kidding but they definately got your smarts because they already cook better than Aunt Jess. Sorry Aunt Jess had to through one cooking joke in there. (Cough*Ice Tea* cough) Sorry had to clear my throat. Anyway, The girls are fantastic and it kills me when they ask about you. But Johnathan....oh Johnathan really eats my heart out. He's so much like you. Hes an explorer, you can tell hes ou just b his train of thought and hes goofball attitude. I cry everytime I see him. I feel so bad knowing that I got to be raised by you and that even thugh you are there with him all the time he can't see you. I will do my best to bring him up like you did me, but I need you to help me do it.

Aunt Jess is so strong, I dont know how she does it but the woman has nerves of steel. I wish I had her strenght sometimes. But I know inside she misses you. I know it hurts her more than it hurts me or anybody else. Thats why I'll always be there for her no matter what happens. No matter what road path she chooses I will support her even if it hurts. I know thats what you would want. So should everybody else.

Say Hi to Ripley for me too, I miss that little bugger.

Thank you all the help you've given me, Robin and I just got approved for a Brand New House in West Chester, and I know you pulled some strings for that.

I'll make you proud Uncle Dave, and some day you'll hug me again and tell me I did alright.

Love you and Miss you more everyday,

Andrew

Andrew
The Favorite Nephew & God-Son

February 5, 2009

I miss you hon. It's not fair that tomorrow you will miss both of your daughter's performing in their school talent show. It's not fair that you will miss seeing Sammy's bravery in getting up in front of all of her friends and dancing her heart out. It's not fair that you will miss Sarah singing "On Eagle's Wings" and bringing us to tears. It's not fair that the song that is her favorite reminds me only of your funeral service. It's not fair that she will someday understand while I'll be brought to tears during her performance. It's not fair.
God, how it's not fair.
I miss you always.
~me

Anonymous

February 5, 2009

In honor of Dave Petzold (and for all who knew him),
I used to be an Asst. DA in Lehigh County, and Upper Saucon was a department under my jurisdiction. Dave and I worked many cases together, and I have worked with hundreds of police officers over the years. Unequivocally, Dave was one of the finest officers I have ever worked with. He was intelligent, diligent, hard-working, unafraid, and personable; a real pro. I didn't get to know him as well as I could have, but it is a testament to him that I still think of him as a model for all cops to emulate. Dave, you are missed.
Matt Weintraub

Matt Weintraub, Asst. Prosecutor
Cape May County, NJ (former colleague and friend)

January 11, 2009

Hi Hon,
Your son amazes me every day. He takes such joy in the little things. He is so full of life and lights up a room. I enjoy him every day and wish you were here to enjoy him as well. He is the little boy that you longed for and in so many ways…even without knowing you for that long…is your ‘mini me’. I love watching him and his expressions and his ways. He is a strong piece of you that I will forever treasure.
Your girls had their Christmas concert a few nights ago. It was beautiful. This year Sarah sung a duet with Olivia and was enchanting. She has changed so much in just the past few months and has learned to open her heart to new things. She is so youthfully intelligent and she amazes me as well. Sarah and Samantha sung wonderfully that night and they looked like little princesses.
Sam has begun to come out of her shell recently. She has been happier and has begun to have the light back in her eyes. She is stubborn and strong willed like you with a silent strength that blows me away at times.
They are truly and simply amazing and such a piece of you.
This Christmas, I was ever so thankful, for our 3 gifts.

The last few months have been different. I can’t believe that this was actually our third Christmas without you. The first Christmas was such a mournful blur, the second was one of memories, tears and some new beginnings. This year was different again. I still wish and forever will….that you were here to enjoy it with us all.

I miss you hon. I miss my best friend, I miss my confident, I miss my husband and our childre miss their Dad. We love you.

Forever and Always,
me

Anonymous

January 6, 2009

Dave,
Although a reminder of this for you is not needed, please know that you are not forgotten and are still missed very much.

Anonymous

January 1, 2009

Say David ~

The time of concern is over. No longer am I asked how I am doing. Never is the name of my husband mentioned to me. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. A life slips from frequent recall. There are exceptions...close and comforting friends, sensitive and loving family. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But for me, the play will never end. The effects on me are timeless. Say David to me.

On the stage of my life, he has been both lead and supporting actor. Do not tiptoe around the greatest event of my life. Love does not die. His name is written on my life. The sound of his voice replays within my mind. You feel he is dead. I feel he is of the dead and still lives. You say he was my husband, I say he is. Say David to me and say David again.

It hurts to bury his memory in silence. What he was in the flesh has now turned to ash. What he is in spirit, stirs within me always. He is of my past, but he is part of my present. He is my hope for the future. You say not to remind me. How little you understand I cannot forget. I WOULD NOT IF I COULD. I forgive you, because you cannot know. I strive to not judge you, for yesterday I was like you.

I do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. I walk it not by choice. I would rather walk it with him in the flesh. I am what I have to be. What I have lost you cannot feel. What I have gained you cannot see. Say David, for he is alive in me.

He and I will meet again, though in many ways we have never parted. He and his life play light songs on my mind, sunrises and sunsets on my dreams. He is real and he is shadow. He was and he is.

He is my ever present hope and I love him as I always did.

Say David to me and say David again.



Found this on Jesse Sollman's page, and wanted to share this with you, too.

Wife of a Police Officer, Bethlehem

December 31, 2008

Merry Christmas Little Brother. I know you are watching the kids excited faces this morning as they rip open Santa's gifts! Thanks for keeping an eye on us.
Miss you

Love
Chris

Christine Ross
Sister

December 25, 2008

Hi hon,
Miss you so much it hurts. Love you forever and always,
me

Anonymous

December 17, 2008

My thoughts and prayers are with your loved ones and friends on this second anniversary of your EOW. Continue to keep watch over them and those still out on patrol watching over the Thin Blue Line. You will never be forgotten

James Sheppard
Father of Sgt. Jason L. Sheppard EOW 12/7/06

November 10, 2008

May Officer's Petzold's family find comfort in the memories you have of times past. Know that your loved one is always a part of your lives and is watching down on you from above.

Anonymous

November 9, 2008

"My Brother"

Although I never met him, I knew him.
He was idealistic and believed he could make a difference.
He was immensely proud of the uniform and the badge and what they represent.
He felt privileged to be of service to his department, his community and to his country.

He was a cop.

Although I never met him, I knew him.
He was friendly, courteous, and polite, yet firm.
He laughed and joked, but was serious when necessary.
He was competent, trained, and professional.

He was a cop.

Although I never met him, I knew him.
He had a strong sense of right and wrong and became
frustrated when true justice became sidetracked.
He felt the sharp criticism that goes with the job, but he
never wavered.
He stood by and for his fellow officers.

He was a cop.

Although I never met him, I knew him.
He longed for his family during the long hours.
He worried about them during his shifts and the lonely
weekends, holidays and midnights when they were apart.
He felt guilty about the lost time, but knew his calling
and prayed they would understand.

He was a cop.

Although I never met him, I knew him.
He was a good son, a loving husband, and a devoted father.
He was dedicated to the profession and cared about the
people he served.
He wanted to do the best job that he could and strived to
be the best he could be.
He was a good citizen and a good neighbor.

He was a cop.

Yes, I did know him.
He was a cop, he was my Brother.

Anonymous

November 9, 2008