Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I cant believe its been six months since you have been gone =*( It feels like just yesterday I was out to lunch with you at the mall talking about everything going so good in our lives. I still cant believe you are gone. Words cant express how much you are missed by everyone! I know you are in a safe place watching over all of us but its still so hard to believe you are gone. I talk to you all the time, no matter where I am, I always look up and talk to you. But its still so hard to believe you are gone and that I wont ever be able to hear your voice again, have you pick on me, or have you call me UMPA, or make me trip over a garbage can in front of a hot guy, or have you smack my tush and break my cell phone cover, or have you come over & take 3 sunkist and just talk for hours about everything in our lives, or just got out to eat with you and laugh the entire time at all the jokes and funny cop stories you would tell me, or listen to all my dads cop stories together, or talk all the crazy fun times we had together (steak and shake, your birthday, all the times we can to visit you, when you graduated the academy, when I would sneak over to say hi to you in the academy & you would tell all the guys I am your sis not to even look at me.. LOL) I miss you so much Ryan! Not a day goes by that I dont think about you, I have our picture in my room at your Graduation and the one of us in Ft. Lauderdale on the bear.. LOL It stays on my mirror and I will never take it down. I will never in my life understand why God took away such an amazing guy from this earth but in my heart I do believe he needed you up there to help him. As much as it hurts that you are gone, now you can be everyone's angel. I love and miss you so much Ryan! Always watch over us please and know I will see you again in Heaven. Until we meet again I love you always & forever tall/younger brother!

P.S I want to write your mom so bad but I just don't know what to say. Every time I start to write her I just start to cry. I promise I will write her and I made something for her also. So I just have to get the strength to write her even though I don't know what to write, what to say or anything. I am at a loss of words and I wish I could say the right things to her but I so lost on what words to say or how to write her. All I can think of is how sorry I am that you are gone. How much I miss you, but I cant write that to her, I don't want to make her cry. I really need to write her though. I promise I will SOON Ryan! I love you & miss you so much!

Shannon
Best Friend

August 13, 2006

I love you son.

Tina Lambert
mother of Ryan

August 11, 2006

Ryan..
i hope you liked the flowers i left you. i'm sorry, i know you're protesting, "that's gay, REAL men don't need flowers" but it's ok, i wanted to say hello, tell you i love you and miss you more than ever. not a day goes by that i don't think of you, remember a laugh we had, or stupid tricks we'd pull on your "oompa" shannon. i can't say i'm sorry that i poked your tattoo hours after you got it, everytime i look at that picture of you, i'll always remember that moment.
i met Baby Collyn tonight, Ryan, you would've loved him, he's huge! i can only imagine the jokes you would've made, but he's beautiful...i love him already...
i've been in contact with your mom, she's amazing...there are so many things i wish i could've said or done...i think we all feel that way... i love you, Ryan... save me a spot, ok?...

Dana
friend

August 8, 2006

Hey love.......I miss you more and more everyday and it seems like sometimes the world is against me! I still wait for you to come home to me every night and make me feel safe but I can only wait to see you and be with you at "Home."
I sent your mom and grandparents something special in honor of their anniversary that we would be attending this month. I hope they like it!!! I am also doing something for you that I know you would be proud of since you never got to finish it, plus it helps me get through the day knowing you would enjoy it. I can't tell you how hard it is not being with you, joking and laughing and being stupid but I can tell you that I love you more than you can ever imagine.....just like I told you on Valentine's Day in the card. I can also say there will never ever be anyone like you......NOT EVEN CLOSE. I will be getting the tattoo we had talked about but now it has an even more special meaning and I will wear it with pride until I can show you!
I will continue to pray for your parents and all of your family and friends. I love them and only wish there was more I could do for them. My parents miss you and especially my brother who came to visit me last week and drove me crazy because you weren't there! Oh, and I have to tell you, you never needed to ask my father's permission, he loved you from the beginning! I love you precious little boy forever!
ps. YOUR friends are amazing! I see you shining right through them and I know exactly why they were your best friends!
God Bless you always my love and tell Chic I said hi!! =)

Amanda Bell
Ryan's fiance' / girlfriend

August 4, 2006

Ryan, I am sorry I will not be with you this weekend in Michigan. Your Mom will be visiting you every day, though,
please take care of her. I miss you.

Earl

Earl Lambert

August 2, 2006

Ryan,
I am leaving in the morning for Alpena. This was supposed to be the trip that we were all going together to celebrate grandma and grandpas 50th wedding anniversary. Instead I will visit you at the cemetary. Sad how life can change in an instant. Everyone in the family has suffered such a tremendous loss. I know that you will be there in spirit and many people will remember fun times with you. It is taking every bit of strength that I have to make this trip. I know that you will be beside me son. You have always made sure that I was taken care of. I could never have asked for a better son. I am so proud to be your mother. I love you Ryan.

Tina Lambert
mother of Ryan

August 2, 2006

Hey it's me again. Today has been hard cause all I have thought about has been you. And i'm so upset because the last memory I have of us is slowly getting harder to remember and that scares me. But your mom is coming to see me and my mom soon. I'm very excited. I love you ryan i'll talk to you soon

Claire
Cousin

July 28, 2006

Ms. Ryan,
My heart hurts and crys for you.We as mothers are not suppose to outlive our children. It seems we die the day and moment they do and nothing is ever the same from that point on. It has been almost 8 years since my angel fell and I wish I could tell you it gets better- but I can't. I still grieve as I did the day he died. May Ryan visit you often in special ways and in your dreams.

From A mothers Heart!
A Mom's Legacy

"I am a Survivor: Please bear with me

I am a Survivor. I am the Mother My child was killed, and
that fact is always just under the surface of everything else that exists.

Please be patient with me. Though it has been nearly 7 years, I am not the
same person I was, I doubt what I ever was, and what I am now is still
evolving. While I can look and sound quite regular, I am not.

If I had a broken leg, you would allow me some time to heal but yet accept
me when I tried to return to normal life. You would hold the door open for
me, walk a little more slowly to be with me, and still give me credit for
sense even as the regular things I used to accomplish had now become
strained and awkward.

I have a broken heart. I never anticipated this, never prepared for this. My
"cast," my support and protection while I mend, is your friendship and
understanding. Daily I find new ways to live and survive, but everything is
different, strained, evolving. I need you to recognize this. I need your
help in lots of little ways.

The brain is a mysterious thing as it tries to heal the heart. I focus on
forgetting, and it works too well. I forget where I set my keys, my shoes,
my purse. I forget your name, what we discussed last, what day it is, where
I left your phone number or address, whatever appointments I made. I forget
to cook, to eat, to tuck the tag into the back of my shirt or check the
mirror before I leave. I am embarrassed. I try to focus on remembering, and
I remember too well. My mind wanders while I am trying to listen to you.

Our friendship or our conversation reminds me of something he said or
something funny that happened to him, or the scent of the Autumn air reminds
me of the last season I spent with him. Your sons and your children and your
daily joys conflict me--I was once there where you are, or maybe I would
have been, if only... I feel guilty for short-shifting our friendship, after
all you have done for me.

Everything has changed. I am disabled but healing. My purse and briefcase
have been traded for a backpack to give me a measure of security over
misplacing them.

My keys are now tied to a string around my neck (when I can find them). My
freezer is full of quick frozen meals that I can whip up as effortlessly as
possible, if I have the energy to shop for them. I rely on medications to
shore up my thin veneer and keep me positive and almost normal-looking.
Sometimes I forget them, too.

Don't be afraid to ask me about or comment on what you see; I need your
perspective on anything, everything, my friend, because I am re-learning to
trust my own judgment again.

Once I was confident. I learned too late that my love for my child,
something I took for granted as simple and sacred and strong, was not strong
enough to hold him in the world I brought him into, and this loss has
shattered the very foundation of everything I've ever believed in.

I need to talk about what happened-I like it when you care enough to ask.
Don't be afraid you will say the wrong thing, and especially, don't become
anxious or uncomfortable if your tenderness or the memory of my child makes
me teary. This is simply the rain on the roses, and it will pass. If I am
ever to bloom again, this is as important as the sun, which does come
through these clouds more often as the months go by. You are helping me
heal.

I need to feel good. It's a struggle sometimes. When I begin to enjoy
myself, it is quickly interrupted by guilt. "how dare I laugh again when my
baby is dead?" "have I forgotten him so quickly that I can feel happy again
so soon?" "maybe I didn't REALLY love him enough, and that's what REALLY killed him..." These tapes are deadly.

These thoughts are a downward spiral. Help me drown out those painful
voices by reassuring me that life is for the living and I deserve to live
again. Remind me to have fun. Let me laugh with you and forget for a moment.

You will know when I am ready to talk. A genuine, "how are you doing?" will
bring one of two responses. If you get a quick, "great, fine, how are you?"
then probably I really am, and let's keep going from there. Please. If you
get a quiet, furtive, "fine, thank you." then I am probably NOT fine. Asking
"what can I do for you?" does not help. It will probably bring
"nothing-really-thanks anyway."

Here is what I really need: Encourage me. Listen to me. Do small normal
things for me that I may be too absorbed to do for myself. Help me care for
my family. bring dinner. Drop by and feed my cat. Drop by and bring me
lunch, or tea, or chocolate (lots of chocolate) or share an evening with me
just visiting. Ignore the state of my house when you arrive-it mirrors the state of mylife. Water my plants.

Lend a hand where you can. Get somebody to mow my lawn or rake my leaves or offer to drive the kids to their appointments. Remind me of my appointments..

Cover for me if I am not where I should be and then go looking for me. Ask
me out, take me out, get me out.

Let's go do normal things, like shopping or folding laundry at your house or
going to a meeting together or hot-tubbing on a Saturday night. Help me
rediscover the satisfaction and even joy that everyday life brings. Believe
me, I am acutely aware that every moment is precious.

Check in with my children-they are hurting, too. Encourage them to talk and
heal. Pizza and an ear helps. Help me keep an eye on them when they are out
of my sight. Feel free to be a friend or to "parent" them, too. They are
just as disoriented as I am. They are also at risk. They are survivors who
have lost both their sibling and the stability of a home they once knew.

Treat us like any other survivor of a fatal illness, always living in a
tentative, strange remission between the lost past and the ever present
fearful new possibility that another child, another someone we love will
shock us again. We are not contagious, except for that first excruciatingly painful moment when it dawns on you that this could happen to your child or someone you love, too.

Treat us just as you would a cancer survivor over the long term, with
respect, support, tolerance; expecting and riding through setbacks yet
forging ahead to make every day just a little bit more pleasant.

Our Angel died only once. Survivors die a 1000 deaths.

William Shakespeare once described: "Grief fills up the room of my absent
child, Lies in his bed, Walks up and down with me, Puts on his pretty looks,
Repeats his words." Macbeth left brave advice: "Give sorrow words. grief has
need to speak, lest whisper o'er the fraught heart and bid it break."

My grief has need to speak, and each time I am fortunate enough to be
allowed to talk and share or speak to help spare someone else this sorrow, I
gain a renewed strength that heals my heart. I am honored that somehow Grace gives me a voice to explain all this.

Daily I am reclaiming some bit of treasure from this tragedy, and my broken
heart mends just a bit more. Please bear with me.

Patricia -Mother of a fallen angel
passerby

July 24, 2006

I went to the place where we had ur funeral and so many memories came back!
Coming to the hosue in ur gear and making me freak out..helping me make my way to Bolivia! Just being there when ever we needed something!
Its so hard to go certain places and not see you there! I miss you so much and i just wish that you where here to make it all better! I need my big brother and i only know that i will see you again!

I love you and miss you greatly!
Kyla

Kyla Brown
Friend

July 22, 2006

Ryan,
I miss you so much. All my love,son.

Tina Lambert
mother of Ryan

July 22, 2006

Ryan
Were to start. I have been back to work and things are not the same.I still have difficulty driving along I595, stopping by at swigs, making a traffic stop(I am do very few), or just everyday life. You are in my thoughts everyday and I know you are there getting me through.
I spoke to the new rookies at the police academy about the accident and about training and they were very interrested. They asked allot of questions and seemed very concerned and ready to go try to make a difference just like you.It went very well.
Well I will speak to you soon just wanted to say HI.
Love ya brother.

Deputy K. Pallotto
BSO Partner

July 20, 2006

To my love:
Love is just a little word though it's meaning is quite clear. It means that you are forever with me in my heart each day throughout the years. So I will not be dismayed at my goodbye to you because I know a farewell is necessary before we can meet again. Meeting again even after lifetimes is certain for those whose love is as rare as true love. On this very day 2 years ago is when I met you at the USA parking garage in Ft. Lauderdale and we had our first amazing date;)! I truly thank Isabelle and the Lord for letting 2 hearts become one. I know that death cannot divide us because my love for you, Ryan Seguin, belongs to your spirit and not to your beautiful body. I remember so many times telling you that you were an angel in disguise and now I can confirm it. On our anniversary today I will once again tell you like I do everyday, "I love you little boy with all my heart more than you'll ever imagine." Nothing can ever change that!
Life is to be fortified by so many wonderful friendships but to love and to be loved is the single greatest happiness of existence! May God Bless all of your family, friends, and co-workers and as always ALL of your brothers and sisters in blue. Continue to watch over us like you did while you were here my love and keep us safe. Until we meet again, happy anniversary and I love you more and more each day, baby. I'll always be your babe and you'll always be my little boy and my ping pee! I miss you and wish you well baby. I will be "home" soon. =)

Amanda Bell
Ryan's Fiancee'

July 17, 2006

Peace be with you always...

Mrs. Natalie Jensen
wife of Detective Jared Jensen EOW 2/22/06

July 15, 2006

Hey Ryan
Wow long time no see. I miss you so much and its really hard cause I think about you all the time. Ive been going to talk to someone about what happened and everything even though its been acouple months sense everything happened. I still carry your picture and my wallet with me. I guess I think of it as my good luck charm! But I have to go. I love you so much and I no your wathching me!!
Love you!!

Claire Wilson
Cousin

July 9, 2006

Ryan...

hello sunshine... it's independence day weekend, a time we celebrate our country and its heroes...the world is not the same without you here....i've been visiting bedbug and sophie everyday, those crazy cats, Ryan! Bedbug in particular reminds me of you so much. everytime i play with him or look at him, i think of all the amazing times you must have had with him. I know you were laughin ur bum off with me and Shan tonite when Bry almost shot the roman candle at me. it's ok, he ended up beaning the neighbor's house, all is well. Shan and i will be by your marker soon with something she made especially for u. you are forever in our thoughts and hearts. I love you and miss you always.


p.s. thanks for the fender pick, it was a reminder you're with us always...

Dana
friend

July 4, 2006

Ryan,
It is the 4th of July weekend. Another holiday without you. As we honor the founders of our country I will honor you for your sacrifice. Your love for your job was unwavering. I miss you everday, son.

Tina Lambert
mother of Ryan

July 2, 2006

TO THE FAMILY, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS OF DEPUTY R SEGUIN,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Dep. Ryan Seguin,
Pls keep and watchful eye on your family friends and co-workers, for your badge has grown a set of wings and
you are walking the heavens streets.For this your are a true unsung HERO.Thanks for just being who you are.
GOD Speed!!

LAURA L MORGAN
ST JOHNS COUNTY SO, ST AUG FL (CORRECTIONS)

June 24, 2006

Ryan:
I never met you but after reading this and following the investigation I got to know about you and found that we had lost an incredible person.I read all of the reflections and it brought me to tears. I was a Reserve and Auxiliary police officer in Ny so I understand the bond of officers and family's. This job is one that you give of yourself freely to people you do not even know, and you gave your heart and soul to the people of Broward County.My prayers go yo all of your family & brother and sister officers who are in pan from your loss. I pass that exit and say a prayer for you every time. Ryan 23 years is not a ong time but yo did alot more then others do in a life time. God bless you and a belated happy birthday. Sincearly Todd Dolin

Ofc. Todd Dolin
Custom Protection Division, Wackenhut

June 22, 2006

Ryan, I was thinking about you today driving to work(as I do every day)and thought about how you did not like your Mom always hugging and kissing you, especially in front of your friends. It always brought a smile to my face to watch you two together. But that is how your Mom was. Her entire life was committed and defined by you. You were together every day of your life until you left for college. Even when you left for a short period of time, she would cry(you didn't like that either) because she knew how much she would miss you. She is so very sad and misses you terribly. She knows you are in a better place but it is still hard for her. Just know that I am with her.

Earl

Earl

June 16, 2006

Ryan,

I am just sitting here on a Saturday night thinking about you. I went out to dinner with Amanda & Dana tonight! We talked about you & to you the entire night. I miss you so much. I would do anything to have you back here with us! I know that cant happen and it breaks my heart. You are missed so much by so many people. I just always think back to all the memories we have together. That always put a huge smile on my face & tons of tears in my eyes. I will always and forever cherish every memory I have of you. I dont think I will ever understand why you were taken away from us. I dont think the pain of loosing you will ever go away either. You ment so much to me, you and I were always together at school, lunch and after school. We hung out 24/7 till you started working for BSO. I was so proud of you, I always told you: that you can do anything you put your mind to & that no matter what I will support you in everything you do. Everytime I pass by places we went to & hung out at it just brings tears to my eyes because I miss you more than anything. (As I am writing this to you I am in tears) I hope & pray that you will watch over all of us. Keep us all safe from this crazy world we live in. I love you & miss you so much! I know I will see you again some day in Heaven(soon). Not a day goes by that your not on my mind. I miss you Ryan so much.
Love Always & Forever,
Shannon (Ur Umpa/Sis)

Shannon
Best Friend

June 10, 2006

Ryan...

Remember when...
there are so many memories i could write to complete that sentence...i only wish there could have been a million more...ryan, i know you see the tremendous impact you've had on everybody who loves you and misses you...it's never going to get easier for us, no matter how much time goes by, or how many things happen to all of us, NOBODY is ever going to forget the Hero that was you. there will never be another "ryan" in my life. you were irreplaceable. (i know more than one person who feels that way) it's funny you know, how i used to tell my friends about you and how they "had" to meet you. i thought we had all the time in the world, my friend, i truly did. i'll never be more grateful that i did bug you online, our conversations were never long (especially after you became a BSO deputy!) but i always walked away feeling happier that i knew how you and Amanda were doing, i was always content to know you were kicking ass with your job and staying safe... i love you and miss you so much....it's not fair, it never will be fair, but i do understand you had important work waiting for you...i know the world will never be the same without you, but Heaven took back one of their angels... much love to the best Deputy i will ever know....

Dana Tam
friend

June 5, 2006

I see the many reflections people have left you and it leaves me in awe. I never met you personally but I see the impact your loss has left on my best friends life. It saddens my heart to see a man of duty be needlessly taken away by a person who you swore an oath to protect. Its pure irony and horrible at that. Dana speaks of you as a hero and I have no doubt in my mind that you indeed were one. Im sorry your life had to end prematurely but I assure you your death has opened the eyes of many. To always do what you love and not to waste your life with pettiness. It saddens me to see what I believe to be a good man go. The world does not need to lose a men like you but gain them to make it a better place. So I bid my condolences to your family and send my prayers to the heavens in hopes you receive them and know you are missed by many.

Heather Higgins
Friend of a friend

June 5, 2006

Ryan,
I never thought I could miss someone so much. I think about you every single day. Everything that I do, everywhere I go, I always think of you and the wonderful memories. People say that time heals the pain. I'm not so sure that's true. I thought by now that I could start to understand why life takes us down certain paths, but for the life of me I still can't understand the path that was chosen for you. I pass by the marker almost everyday just to say a little prayer.

We got the final word back from your accident investigation the other day. The findings made me physically sick. I wish there was something more I could do to at least bring some peace to what happend. I was hoping for a miracle. In the infinite wisdom of the State Attorney's Office, they just didn't think we had enough for a conviction. I beg to differ on that but who am I, just a number. The guilt he supposively feels and has to live with, just isn't enough justice for me.

I find that some days are a little more challenging than others. I just always try to keep the attitude that I know you would have had. I really miss you and hope to visit you in Michigan next month (and to visit with Lori and your dad, I just love both of them.)


I hope that in time the heart will heal the pain. I truely do the best that I can out there in your memory. District 8 will never be the same. I miss you brother. Watch over me and protect me until my time on earth is through. I will always love ya!!!! Happy Birthday Ryan.

Deputy Kristen May
Friend

June 4, 2006

Ryan,
I miss you so much.. Not a day goes by that you are not on my mind. I am always thinking about you & talking to you. I feel you all around me everyday. Everytime I trip or say something stupid, I know you are right there laughing at me saying thats my lil Umpa/Sister. But it is still so hard knowing that you are not here, but I know I will see you again soon. I just hope & pray you know how much I truly loved you & still do. I know we thought giving hugs was silly but I wish I could go back & give you ALL the hugs I wanted to. But I promise you when I come to Heaven & see you again I'm going to give you a HUGE HUG Ryan! We all miss you so much Ryan. Dana & I everytime we get together always talk about you & all the memories we had with you. I cherish every memory I had with you:(everytime you would come over & drink like 2 Sunkist and talk with my mom & I for hours, all the times we went to Steak & Shake for lunch, When I came to visit you @ Turtles Music, When we went to the club for the 1st time together, When we took you to the HardRock Resturant for your b-day & you had to stand on the chair, all our dinners at TGI Fridays, When you graduated from the academy (I was sooo proud of you), when I would always sneak over to the academy to see you, when you would jog around BCC Central, That day that you made my trip over the garbage can in my math class in front of my entire class, all those times you made me go jogging with you & I was ready 2 pass out,And SO MANY MORE). You are such an amazing stong man. You helped me threw so much & I know I did the same for you. Thats what TRUE FRIENDS do! And I promise you I will help Amanda. I am not going to leave her alone at all. I know how much you love her, Dana & I will always be here for her *I PROMISE YOU THAT RYAN* I am so mad at the guy who took you away from all of us & the charges are just not what I wanted to hear =( I want to fight the charges, at least TRY to get him charged or try to get some bill passed that anyone who takes away a cops life is charged no matter what. He took someone soooo precious, amazing, perfect, strong, huge hearted away from us. I miss you so much Ryan. Please help us all be strong for eachother. Just know that everyday you are on our minds. We love you & miss you so much Ryan!
Love Always & Forever,
Shannon (Ur Umpa/Sister)

Shannon
Best Friend

June 4, 2006

I come to the ODMP often to remember my late fiancé Dennis. Everytime I come here it breaks my heart to know that yet another officer has fallen and that yet another family has to live their lives without the man they loved. My heart goes out to everyone who knew and loved Deputy Seguin, especially to his girlfriend. Know that you are not alone in the "journey" that you walk. Should you ever need anything please don't hesitate to contact me. The Davis Co. Sheriff's Office in Iowa will always know how to reach me. You will be in my thoughts.

From reading all the reflections left for Ryan, he sounds like he was a great man with a beautiful spirit. Those of you who knew him in life were so blessed to have been able to share in it. I hope that you will all continue to find a way to celebrate and remember Ryan's life and the MAN that he was. Remember that Ryan's life was about so much more than the way he died. Ryan will continue to live on as long as we continue to remember him.

Deputy Seguin, thank you for helping to make this world a little safer for us all. YOU will not be forgotten. Please continue to watch over all of us as only you can. If you happen to bump into my fiancé Dennis up there give him a big hug for me and the kids. It's been three years but we still miss him terribly.

Wishing you brighter and better days,


Jocelyne :)

"Forever Remembering 26-3"

Jocelyne Brar (Winnipeg, MB Canada)
Fiancee of Deputy Dennis Ray McElderry (EOW: 01/03/03)

June 4, 2006