Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

To the Big Old Fat Sgt, let me tell you....there isn't a day that goes by, especially when I am at work, when I don't think of all of my old cop buddies!!!! I read your note the day you posted it and cried....cried because you have no idea how much those few words you left meant to me...and cried because I feel like I am never going to recover from the loss of Mike and I am terrified of losing another cop buddy.

I have left so many posts on here since Mike died....and yet, I have noticed, it isn't getting any easier. I have lost almost my entire family to cancer, and other close friends in accidents, yet nothing ever rocked my world like the death of Mike....I had such a bond with his rookie class, and I never thought I would live to see the day when I lost one of them.

And yet every day that I spend at the fire station, I live in fear that the next dispatch is going to be the one where I am on either the fire engine or the medic unit that responds to the next shooting...or the fear that I WON"T be the one responding, like the night Jarrod was shot and I was stuck at the station, not being able to do anything because M3 and E2 responded instead.

And every day I live in fear that it will be one of my closest cop buddies who will lie in the medic unit right in front of me, right underneath my hands as I care for him.

Because the scariest fact is that the question isn't if it's going to happen again...it's when and who??? And those thoughts keep me awake at night...along with the thoughts of "why Mike and not me....why did I have 11years of my career as a cop and he got ripped at only 5 months?"

And right now...my exhaustion leaves me to the point where I can't type anymore. To the Big Fat Sgt....I may have figured out who you are....but just to be sure...drop me an email

And to Mike's family....thank you for sharing your hero and making him our hero too

And to Mike....you are in my thoughts.....just about every moment of everyday!! You may be gone...but you will never be forgotten

Firefighter, Faith Gollob
Chespeake Fire Department - E4/E24

Former Officer, Faith Gollob
Former Chesapeake Police Officer

October 7, 2008

As I sit here in my new department going through training to start my new law enforcemnt career with the Veterans Affairs Police Department I remember with it was like 3 years ago. The rush of memories have come back going through gear that has been in boxs sience I moved back to RI. I have never forgotten that rainy sat and how it has changed my life and brought me to where I am today. Contuine to watch over all of us that serve and protect you are always with me.

Adam Renaud
VA Police former Chesapeake Police Officer

September 22, 2008

Faith, thanks for keeping your old cop buddies in yor heart.

Big Fat Chesapeake Sergeant
CPD

June 20, 2008

It's been 2 1/2 years since we lost you and I still can't go to the spot where we lost you without breaking down in tears. I am so thankful that we trained you well and you saved those hostages, but I am still so angry that you had to die in order for them to live. I am so honored that I had the chance to be your academy instructor and spend 6 months training you. I would give anything to have that day back, so we could do it all over again. If I could, I would not have taken the day off. Things would have been different. Maybe you would still be here. Just know that you are with me always Mike.....the pain I feel since we lost you is immeasurable and I don't wish a pain like this on my worst enemy. Until we meet again Mike.......

Former Officer, Faith Gollob
Chesapeake Police Department

April 19, 2008

"The Badge"

He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.

He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.

Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.

He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.

His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.

He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.

And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.

But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.

Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.

Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.

So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.

In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.

Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.

Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1993 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

April 2, 2008

Thankyou OFFICER SAFFRAN for your service and sacrifice. You are a hero to us all and will never be forgotten

POLICE OFFICER
PHILA PA

February 23, 2008

Tonight another brother was called home. Please take care of him and walk that eternal beat together for his journey here has ended but never forgotten. My heart and prayers go out to the Chesapeake Police Department, for we know this feeling all to well. Please know your Brothers here in Norfolk are keeping you near and dear to there hearts.

Deputy
Norfolk Sheriff's Office

January 18, 2008

Mike,
It's been a while since I have stopped by and left a message. But tonight, well sir, we have lost another CKPD. I am hoping that you will be standing by to assist him. Us here as a family will continue to do what we do and watch over everyone. Your family and his. His life was taken so suddenly. As like yours. I know that you will stand by your fellow brother and walk your beat and watch over us. Please show him the ropes and lean down on us for courage, support, and to wipe our tears. We miss you brother.

Dispatcher I Sherry Talbert
Chesapeake Police Department

January 17, 2008

Mike ... I thought of you tonight ... I was playing on the computer and got a message of an OFFICER down ... we lost one of your brothers ... please Mike take care of him as he will be new to all of this ... He will be another brother angel to look over the City of Chesapeake officers...Here it is another rainy day .. cold and wet ... makes me remember the day i got the call that GOD had called you home ... wow Mike has it been this long... Please welcome him home ...
Chespeake Officer coming home ... It is hard to say goodbye to at this time .... I have left the City of Chesapeake Police Department .. but they were my family for 8 years and will always be my extended family .... As a Dispatcher I know that you are there to protect and serve ... but as a Wife of a Portsmouth Sgt ... Ihave a heard time understanding ... You all have the street smarts and the common sense .. it is the IDIOTS that i am soooooo scared of ... Please Mike look out for the brothers and sisters in Blue... thinking of you always

Susan Bachman former Sr Dispatcher Chesapeake Police
Now Va State Police Dispatcher

Susan Bachman
Former Sr Dispatcher

January 17, 2008

Mike .. has been awhile since i have been here .. just wanted to stop in to say i was thinking of u and ur family ..as i lwave to start a new job with va state police .... i will forever remember the day i got the call the u were 10-8 .... i will never forget

susan bachman
sr dispatcher

susan bachman, Sr Disptatcher
ches police

December 26, 2007

Today on the anniversary of your death we remember you and thank you for your police service and military service.

Pat Van Den Berghe
Neighbors for a Better Manchester, NH

October 8, 2007

It's that time of year again that leaves me with a pit in my stomach, and I just want to say that you are not forgotten Mike....and you never will be!!!

Former Officer, Faith Gollob
Chesapeake Police Department

October 3, 2007

Mike,
Some days, it feels like it is never going to get any easier. Some days I pretend like nothing ever happened because it is easier to handle if I do. Then other days reality kicks in. Your family came to visit me at the fire station 10 days ago. What an honor it was. As your mom, brother and aunt got a tour of my station, the guilt destroyed me. The guilt of still being alive. I had the opportunity to be a cop for 11 years...you had 5 short months. Why are you gone after only 5 months, I had 11 years and so many more have had even more time than that. How about the guilt of taking off the day we lost you. The outcome may have been different if I was at work. Then Adam wouldn't have had to fill my shoes in Greenbrier that day. Maybe you and Adam would have been 25'ing somewhere and maybe you both would have arrived a few seconds sooner or a few seconds later and the outcome would have been different. Maybe, your mom would still have her son, maybe your brother would still have his brother and maybe your sister's would still have their brother. Ugh, the "what if's" still drive me crazy 19 months later. Sandy and Ronnie came to visit that day too. We went out to dinner the next night and we sat there and talked for hours. They are amazing. I don't know how Sandy has the strength to get out of bed every morning, but she does....she is amazing. Some way, some how, she manages to put a smile on her face and stay positive. We are going to Baltimore in 2 weeks to see your family and stop by your resting place to have a few moments with you. Where ever you are right now, I hope you know how much we miss you. Life will never be the same again. If I could, I would do what ever it would take, just to have that day back and do it all over again. I have lost so many friends and family members, but the worst moment of my entire life was when I got the phone call that you had been shot. No words have ever ripped through me with so much pain like that before. I hope that I never have to experience anything like it ever again. I hope you know, you are on my mind every day. Rest easy Michael, your time in hell is over!!!!!

Former Officer, Faith Gollob
Chesapeake Police Department

May 25, 2007

So many things have gone through my mind as I write this. I remember being at dispatch training when your class first began the academy. I vividly remember trying to stay out of the hallway whenever you all were out of class. (I really hated that you had to move out of my way and hit the wall, but understood the concept of your training.) After I graduate dispatch school, I remember telling several of you guys that I would be listening on the radio for you all. Little did I know that I would want more and decide to leave dispatching to become a Loss Prevention Officer. I remember the day that you passed. My district manager asked me if I knew you. I choked...how could this have happened? Several months later I decided that I wanted to become a Police Officer and I thought of you. You and your family made the ultimate sacrifice for us all. As I was sworn in all I could think of was: give me the courage to uphold and protect even when faced with mortal danger, just like you did. Even though you are gone I wanted it to be known that you were an inspiration to me and in my decision to enter my chosen profession: Law Enforcement. Rest in peace my brother.

Officer M. Runyon
Portsmouth Police Dept

March 29, 2007

You are not forgotten about brother...watch over all of us during this holiday season and keep us safe! Thank you for the sacrifice you have made.

Police Officer
Chesapeake Police

December 24, 2006

Mike and family,
I was just going through the ODMP and saw your picture and did remember you when we did the radio change over. I worked at the radio shop in Chesapeake, You had been with some other officers in the shop and I walked in and said any one bring the donut's you smiled and said go see Officer Davis he has a car full--we both had a good laugh.

I am sorry I did not get to know you better as I did some of the other officers, you seemed very personable and easy going.
Rest in Peace and walk the streets in Heavan!!
you've done your time in Hell!!!

Investigator Rick Spargos
American Intelligence

November 5, 2006

Mike,

It has now been a year since I lost a very close friend. Even though I have left the police department to enter a new stage in life as a firefighter, I want you to know I think of you everyday. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and the great times we shared. I want you to know your family is doing good and that your police family will continue to watch over them. Mike I can't say enough how honored I am to have known you. May god bless you and your family and please continue to watch over us.

Former FTO James J. Blount
Chesapeake Police Dept

November 2, 2006

Michael and family,
thank you for always being there.

Anonymous

October 22, 2006

My thoughts are with your loved ones on this first anniversary. I salute you for your dedicated service to our country and to law enforcement, you are a true hero and heroes never die. You will never be forgotten. Keep watch over your loved ones and those still out on patrol.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Gold Star Father

October 8, 2006

Officer Saffran
It is exactly one year ago today that we lost a hero. I still remember it like it was yesterday, although I never personally got a chance to know you, I still feel as if I have lost a brother. I remember getting the call last year, the weather was terrible, and only approriate since we lost you. Thank you for your sacrafice, please watch over us and keep us safe as we patrol the mean streets that took you from us!

Police Officer
Chesapeake, VA

October 8, 2006

You are a true hero. Rest in peace, we'll take the watch from here.

Cpl/1 Steven Rizzo
Delaware State Police

October 8, 2006

May Our Lord wrap His Arms around your loved ones especially tightly today and in the future.May He Bless them and you and give you sweet sleep until the chain links again.

October 8, 2006

Fallen but NEVER forgotten.

Joanie
Mother, daughter, sister, and granddau. of LEO's

October 7, 2006

Well Saffy, Im pleased to say that Im in the prosses of getting a postion with the Kentucky State Police, so please talk to the big guy about helping me out. It still brings tears to my eyes to think that someone so great was taking so soon. Your death only makes me want to do this job more in hopes that i might be abile to save lifes and to prevent the type of tragedies that you and your family has gone through. I pray that your family is doing well and that all officers stay safe. So dont forget to put in a good word for me buddy, and please watch over all of us.

DC3(SW)Jonathan McClain
USS Shreveport LPD-12

Disp McClain
NKU Police

October 4, 2006

Mike,
I may not wear the uniform anymore, but you can't take the officer out of me. I check this website everyday. Sometimes two or three times a day. I check to see what other heroes have been taken from us, but mostly to see that I am not alone...I am not alone in missing you and whenever someone adds a reflection to your page I am reminded that I am not the only one who still feels a huge loss, that is sometimes overwhelming.
I bet you never knew how much you meant to everyone around you and how much you were loved. Maybe some of us had no idea how much of an impact you had on our lives until it was too late to tell you.
Here I am, going on 7 months since I last left a reflection and I am still in that darn fire academy. I still have 3 months till graduation. (And you thought you had it bad when I was training you in the police academy....you only had to deal with me breathing down your neck for 6 months, unlike the 10 months I am suffering through right now. LOL) The worst part is, that it is a daily, non stop reminder of how much I lost the day we lost you. There is to much to say but not enough space....but just know, that I miss you in a way that has knocked me to my knees at times and made the tears flow long and hard that I thought they would never stop. Your loss will forever be a gap in my heart that will never be filled. There will always be that empty feeling that will never go away.
As the anniversary is creeping up on us all, just know that we are always thinking of you, always missing you and always loving you.

Faith Gollob
Former Chesapeake Police Officer

October 4, 2006