Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I read this on another officer's page and thought of you and your sacrifice.

Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents!

Sadly, this is far from the truth. Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn. These people are our brothers, sisters, friends, and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along.

Others will encounter many upsets, tears, and losses on their journey. Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some will get on and off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path…

We will sometimes be upset that some passenger’s whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken. That’s OK, everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes. We must strive to make the best of it no matter what.

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone. Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may think twice or hesitate, even trip…hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t stop when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop. Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know we’ll be sad to make our final stop, I’m sure of it!

Our separation from all those friends and acquaintances we made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those we’re close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day we’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage, most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.

We’ll be glad to see them again. We’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage, and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to our baggage and enriched our lives.

We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

Anonymous

April 1, 2009

For Officer Lasater's Mother

What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
Asked what makes a mother and I know I heard Him say, A mother has a child. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother, when your child's not with you?

Yes, you can. He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women children. When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, and others for a day. And some I send to fill your womb but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God, I want my child here. I took a breath and cleared my throat and then I cried a tear. I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say,"

"I went to earth to learn a lesson of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me. I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free."

I miss my Mommy, oh so much, but I visit her each day. And when she goes to sleep at night, on her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy, don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I am here.' "

So you see, my dear sweet one, your child is okay. Your child is here in My Home and this is where he'll stay. He'll wait for you with Me until your lesson is through. And on that day that you come Home, he'll be waiting at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother... It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day, And know you're the best one.


Meredith

Anonymous

March 31, 2009

The funeral for the four Oakland officers filled me with such a sense of sadness and almost a feeling of giving up on the world. It was amazing though to see all those officers from around the country and beyond paying their respects.

I had to leave for the funeral before Cody woke up but my sister Louise was there when he woke up and he thought that was so amazing. She took him to school and then my parents picked him up. He had a great time and I got back just as he was starting to miss me. Today he insisted on wearing a tie to school. He looked so handsome and he reminded me of you. That seems like something you would have done.

Love you

Anonymous

March 30, 2009

I attended the memorial services for your four Oakland brother yesterday. It was an overwhelming show of support from agencies not just from California, but from around our nation and Canada. The impact of seeing those four flag draped caskets together was profound. There was such grief, but also a fitting celebration of their lives.
I could not help but think Sgt. Romans, your fellow Marine and leo, may have been at your funeral for a final Semper Fi and now I was at his, and wondering in dread if of those thousands of attendees, would I one day be attending their line of duty memorial. It is so morbid, but with the ever present dangers of the job each and every day, it cannot be said that it is unlikely. My admiration and gratitude to each and every officer wearing the badge so that those in the communities they serve can be safe. What profession could possibly be more noble.

Loving you forever,

Mom

Anonymous

March 28, 2009

Dear Larry:

I am so sorry that you and my beloved son, Matthew, are not with us here on earth any longer.....only in our hearts and memories. Such a sacrifice, such a loss. This tragedy has brought us mothers together in a way that I would never have imagined three years ago. Your mom’s message to me was like a message from an angel. You see, no one but another Mom who has suffered the loss of a child could know the agony of losing a child the way we have. I can tell from reading the passages she has written that her love for you was deep and nothing will ever take away the broken heart she suffers. I know this because, for me, there is no comfort, no easing the pain of my broken heart.

Your mom and I share an unfathomable hurt that has no end. I can’t thank her enough for her kind words. You should be as proud of her as she is of you.

I applaud your department for their continued efforts to never let you be forgotten.

In 2007 while attending the Washington, D.C. Memorial when my Matthew’s name was added to the Law Enforcement Memorial wall, I recall leaving the ceremony with a heavy heart. I was stopped by one of the Honor Guards from the Los Angeles Police Department who handed me one of the pins and bracelets he was carrying in his pocket. It was such a touching moment. I never got his name but to this day, I still think of his kindness and graciousness.

Phyllis, I wish you peace. I am not really sure myself if I or you will ever find it but the wish comes from my heart to yours. We live at opposite ends of the country but are united by these terrible tragedies.

Jane Melchionda

Jane Melchionda
Mother of Fallen Officer Matthew Melchionda

March 26, 2009

Oakland's tragedy made me reflect back to April of 2005.
I know you watch over your brothers/sisters in PPD and now wait with open arms to take in these fine men from Oakland.

THANK YOU

Michael Terry
Grateful Citizen

March 26, 2009

Officer Lasater,
I came across your name while reading a reflection your mom left for a North Carolina Deputy who lost his life in the line of duty over 80 years ago. Thank you for your service. It is obvious how much you are loved by your family and friends. I want your mother, wife and son to know that you will never be forgotten, even by those of us who never knew you. Your mother certainly raised a true American hero. The 4 heroes of Oakland will always have you, as a true friend to count on.

Joe S.
Civilian, Bakersfield, Ca.

March 26, 2009

A Pair of Shoes---

I am wearing a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step
Yet I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes, they are looks of sympathy, and I can feel and tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable
To truly understand these shoes, you must walk in them
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes
There are many pairs in this world
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them.
Some have learned to walk in them, that they don't ache as much
Some have worn these shoes so long that days will go before they think about how much they hurt
No woman deserves to wear these shoes
Yet, because of these shoes some day I may become a stronger woman
These shoes have continually given me strength to face the next day
They have made me who I am now
I will forever walk in these shoes of a woman who has lost her husband......Anonymous

Anonymous

March 25, 2009

An old Irish Text, found in a Carmelite Monastery in Tallow, County Waterford, Ireland

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way, which we always used.
Laugh as we always laughed, at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be the household word it always was.

Life means all that it ever ment.
It is the same as it ever was, there is no absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight?
I am but waiting for you, for interval, somewhere very near,Just around the corner.

All is well. Nothing is passed, nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before, only better.
Infinitely happier, and forever, we will be one together, with Christ.

Anonymous

March 25, 2009

You are and always will be my joy.

Loving you forever, Mom

Anonymous

March 25, 2009

You have four more brothers in blue to show the ropes to Larry. May the Lord and prayers be with the Brothers and sisters in blue who are still here fighting the battle... Our hearts and prayers are with the OPD family during this time.

We miss you Larry...

Anonymous

March 23, 2009

We are all in such despair for the loss of your four fallen brothers from Oakland. Officer John Hege was taken off life support. I keep thinking, now 6 more children have been left fatherless like your son, 3 wives have lost their husband, four sets of parents have lost their sons, an unknown number of siblings have lost their brother, and fellow LEO's have lost their friend and collegue. All because of one scumbag monster. I for one do not care to hear one comment or read one article quoting that thug's family about anything.

These events further embitter my soul.

Love you forever, Mom

Anonymous

March 23, 2009

It's s awful what has happened in Oakland. Four good men that won't be going home to their families. You're always with me and I think of you constantly but when something like this happens, I'm right back there on that day. I think of you in the hospital which is an image I don't like to think of. I like to think of you laughing on the couch that day when we were watching a movie together a couple of days before you were killed. Or when we had that ultrasound and you saw our son. I'll never forget that look on your face.

Cody is so amazing. I was reading about the Oakland officers online and he was drawing. Apparently my face showed that I was upset and I felt a little hand on my arm. I looked over at him and with a concerned look on his face he said "Are you ok mommy?" Love that child so much and I love you. Always.

Anonymous

March 23, 2009

Thinking of your family today and wondering if life will ever feel normal again. The pain of losing a dear friend is ever present and the memories so clear. I hope you look down on our family from time to time, at times I can almost feel you guiding us along life's pathway. Jon is now a Captain at the PD and he still wears your number...from two thousand miles away we still think of you often. Bless your family.

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

Thinking of you today! May you and your family be at peace during this flash back time. Bless you and all the familys in blue. Our true HEROS!
Flying with you
Angel of Peace

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

... such a sad day yesterday was. Four local officers shot in the line of duty in Oakland. Three confirmed dead at this time; one clinging to life... What memories all the news stories brought back..... So many emotions from April 2005 come right to the surface again.... This is so hard on all of us when another police shooting occurs... I watched the crying families knowing full well how they all feel, only knowing in the back of my mind that their journey of grief is just beginning....

Thinking of you always,

Louise

Louise
sister-in-law

March 22, 2009

I write to you with a heavy heart tonight for our Bay Area law enforcement community has had a tragic day when the Oakland Police Department had 3 officers killed, another who is gravely injured, and another who has been released after being shot I am heartbroken for their families and the Oakland PD, and feel so helpless, like I did when you were shot. The gunman was thankfully shot and killed before he murdered other officers or citizens. May God hold these heroes in his warm embrace, and provide solace to their families and help them through these dark hours.
I am so sad.

Loving you forever, Mom

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

OH, I HAVE SLIPPED THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH, AND DANCED THE SKIES ON LAUGHTER-SILVERED WINGS; SUNWARD I'VE CLIMED, AND JOINED THE TUMBLING MIRTH OF SUN-SPLIT CLOUDS...AND DONE A HUNDRED THINGS YOU HAVE NOT DREAMED OF...WHEELED AND SOARED AND SWUNG HIGH IN THE SUNLIT SILENCE. HOVERING THERE, I'VE CHASED THE SHOUTING WIND ALONG, AND FLUNG MY EAGER CRAFT THROUGH FOOTLESS HALLS OF AIR, UP,UP, THE LONG, DELIRIOUS BURNING BLUE I'VE TOPPED THE WINDSWEPT HEIGHTS WITH EASY GRACE WHERE NEVER LARK, NOR EVEN EAGLE FLEW. AND WHILE WITH SILENT, LIFTING MIND I'VE TROD THE HIGH UNTRESPASSED SANCTITY OF SPACE......PUT OUT MY HAND, AND TOUCHED THE FACE OF GOD. (HIGH FLIGHT by JOHN GILLESPIE MAGEE JR.)

Anonymous

March 21, 2009

Officer Lasater, I just read a posting by your mother on another of our fallen brother's memorial page. I could tell she is a wonderful woman. She must have been to raise a son who was so willing to serve his country as you did. I am saddened that you were taken from your friends, family, and community so prematurely. Rest In Peace Brother as you walk the beat in heaven. We have the watch.

Border Patrol Agent
U.S. Border Patrol

March 20, 2009

I found this post after seeing multiple posts on other pages from Larry's mother. This is such a terrible tragedy. From reading the posts on Larry's page written by his mother, it sounds like Larry's legacy lives on in his son. My prayers are with the Lasater family.

Special Agent
FBI - WFO

March 18, 2009

To the family of Officer Lasater:

I visit ODMP occationally...and today I read your story. Your reflection entries literally brought me to tears sitting here in my office. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I too have a young son and I cannot imagine how painful it must be as a Mom to miss seeing your child with his father.

Please know that you were in my thoughts and prayers today. It is my wish for you to find peace and happiness...and a long wonderful life for you and those you love.

God bless.

Laura
Philadelphia, PA

March 4, 2009

Remember

When tears fill your eyes
And your heart is full of gloom
Remember, remember,
I did not die too soon

When you can't believe I'm gone
And it hits you harder than ever
Remember, remember
That you must carry on

When you're mad at everyone
Including yourself
Remember, remember,
That it's not your fault

When you stand by
My grave and weep
Remember, remember,
I do not sleep

When you think 'Why,
Why did you have to die?'
Remember, remember,
All things must die

When you wonder
Why my life had to end
Remember, remember,
All things end

And always, always remember,
Never doubt it
How deep and boundless
My love for you is.

Written by K.L.

Friend of Off. Kris Fairbanks RIP 9-20-08

K.L.

February 28, 2009

Hi Honey

When I visited Cody three days ago, he was playing his little drum set. I told him he was so talented and asked where did he get all that talent. He responded with "My daddy was very talented".

Later we were playing outside in the old-time Sheriff's Office his Uncle James built and the wetness of the yard made our footprints visible on the porch, and he was very proud to be able to distinquish between my footprints and his prints. He is so smart and has so much energy that I don't see how Jo Ann keeps up with him, but she does. I hope you saw us all playing together.

Loving you forever and a day,

Mom

Anonymous

February 27, 2009

LL,
Somebody asked me on duty the other day about your loss. At first I struggled on what to say, but then I felt the strength to discuss some of what happend. It was not about the call, but about the sacrafice you made, which I will never forget. I want you to know how privelidged and proud I feel everyday I put on the uniform. I honor you everyday and miss you so much.

John

Anonymous

February 26, 2009

To the mother of Larry Lasater, thank you so much for your Kind words to and about John. That was very thoughtful of you. It's been 22 years and it dosn't get any easier, you know that. I had two Sons in the force, Geo, the older one retired some years after John was gone. I was very proud of both of them.I am sorry for your loss ,but we will all meet again. My prayers are with you. God Bless. Bea Carrillo

Bea
Mother of John Carrillo EOW 2-22-01987

February 26, 2009