Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Cody had his 4 month shots. He was so brave, you would have been proud. He's 13 pounds. What a big boy! Today when he woke up from his nap he was just staring up with a big smile on his face. He wasn't looking at his toys. I asked him if daddy was here and he just kept smiling and looking at something. I hope it was you. I miss you so much. There are a couple of things going on that I really need you to help me through. I can't believe that it's my responsibility alone to raise our baby. The thought never crossed my mind when we found out that we were having Cody that you wouldn't be here to welcome him into the world. I love you and ALWAYS will.

November 14, 2005

I hope your family heals from this terrible loss, god bless all of you. To Larry's mother thank you for the kind words regarding Officer Jesse Sollman.

Repectfully,

Jack Dressler
Former Easton Police Officer

Officer Jack Dressler
Forks Township Police, PA

November 13, 2005

Dear Mrs. Loya,

I wanted to say thank you for the kind reflections you leave on my husband's site. It is very comforting to read them and know that you are thinking of us. You have been through such tragedy yourself, I am amazed that you can reach out the way that you do to offer support to others. I miss my husband terribly; his death has left a void in my life and my soul that can never be filled. My children and I just take things one day at a time - we do the best we can. It helps so much to know that people remember Jesse and are thinking of me and the kids. I enjoy reading about your adorable grandson, Cody, and hope that he brings love and light to your lives. God bless you and your entire family. Please know that I think of you often and am praying for strength and courage for you and your family.

With warm appreciation,
Carin, Savannah and Jacob Sollman

Carin E. Sollman
wife of Easton Police Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

November 13, 2005

Larry,

Songs really get to me now. Maria told me about this Kenny Chesney song & it really had me in tears.

Who You'd Be Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.

Someday, someday, someday.

November 13, 2005

Our first dance at our wedding was the perfect song for us...I love you.

All My Roads
by Collin Raye

Looking back from were I stand tonight
I wouldn't change a thing about my life.
Wrong turns I had to take back in those crazy years.
Could not have been mistakes if they have brought me here.

Cuz all my roads have led me to this night, this love I share with you
and though the road was never smooth, life has made me someone who...
could be the right someone for you.

I don't regret a single broken heart
They tought me what love is, and what it's not
Someone must have planned our two paths would cross
I couldn't see it then, but I was never lost.

Cuz all my roads have led me to this night, this love I share with you
and though the road was never smooth, life has made me someone who...
could be the right someone for you.

Detours, deadends, endless explorations, you were my only destination.

Cuz all my roads have led me to this night, this love I share with you
and though the road was never smooth, life has made me someone who...
could be the right someone for you.

November 13, 2005

3 Doors Down
Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same.

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello.
I've heard this life is overrated.
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight there's only you and me.

Everything I know, and everywhere I go
It gets hard, but it won't take away my love.
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard, but it won't take away my love.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight there's only you and me

November 12, 2005

I wanted to come here to offer my very heart felt Thank-you to Larry for his sacrifice and service to his country. He not only protected it, he protected me with freedom that so many others in this world don't have. Thank-you on behalf of my family as well. To your family, your reflections in my brothers memorial page are special. To take the time to comfort us while you have endured such a loss is very appreciated. Larry and Jeff have a lot in common and I'm sure that they are sharing a friendship in heaven, where miles prevented them from that on earth. We need them as Guardian Angels just as we needed them as Marines and Officers. I read his information, telling me was a honorable man. My heart sank to see another name to a list of fallen officers that is way too long. It sank even further to know he was to be a new father. This child will be extra special as Larry has left a part of him to fill your family's heart and life with joy. Personally, I will never understand why Larry and Jeff and so many others are called home so early, perhaps they have fullfilled a special mission and their reward is peace. The thing they fought so hard to bring to us. As mortals we can't understand so many things but someday we will know everything, just as they do and we will see them again. I look forward to that. God Bless your family, your child, your grandchild and Larry. You are all in our thoughts.
"Blessed are the Peacemakers;for they shall be called the children of God" Matthew 5:9 Larry is now 10-42 (ending tour of duty) here on earth but is 10-8 (in service) in heaven. Semper Fi Marine. Susan, Bill and Pat Hewitt

Susan Hewitt
Sister of SGT. JEFF HEWiTT 04-04-04

November 12, 2005

Dear Mrs. Loya,

Thank you so much for the kind reflection that you left on Jay's page. It is comforting to go there and find a new reflection, to know that Jay has not, nor will ever be, forgotten; nor will any of the other officers who have been taken from this earthly world long before we were ready.
I have read many of the reflections on Larry's page left by you and Larry's wife - my heart breaks for both of you and for the baby who will never know his daddy. I have no doubt though, that Cody will grow up knowing that his father was a hero, and he will be just as strong as Larry.
I wish I could say that time eases the pain -we have just passed the one year anniversary of Jay's death - but it still feels like yesterday that we got that life-altering phone call, and the pain is just as intense.
May God hold you all in his loving embrace and help you face each new day without your beloved Larry.

Linda Lamm - LEO Wife and Sister of
Jay Balchunas EOW 11.05.04

November 11, 2005

Letter sent to Phyllis Loya from Mike Hawkins, USMC Colonel on May 7, 2005

My name is Mike Hawkins. I had the distinquished pleasure of service with your wonderful son in the Marine Corps. Larry and I both served together in 29 Palms with the First Tank Battalion. Larry was my Scout Platoon Commander, a higly sought after and coveted position in the battalion, reserved for the best of the best Officer in the organization. Larry was that and more. He was hand picked for this job because of his great "can do" attitude and tremendous level of professionalism. In the last two years I served with him, I cannot recall a time when Larry could not accomplish anything asked of him. He was a superb Marine. He was loved and admired by his men. He took care of his men as a father would look after his own children. He had a genuine care and concern for those under his command.

When we were in the training area of 29 Palms, conducting an exercise in the desert, Larry was always my "go to guy". He could navigate better than anyone we had in the battalion. He was especially great at finding his way at night in the darkness of the desert. Whenever we had to travel great distances at night, I would always send Larry out in front of the battalion to ensure we arrived where we were supposed to in a timely manner. Larry also had an infectious smile and positive attitude under trying circumstances. He was a jokester and always had something funny to say, especially when everyone else was tired and down and out. Larry could walk up to a group of tired and disgruntled Marines and quicky have them in stitches and motivate them to accomplish the goals assigned them. He was a superb leader in every sense of the word and he was well loved and respected by both his peers and his seniors alike. If I could have had 60 Larry's in the battalion, we would have been invincible.

When we deployed to Kuwait in 1998, Larry was once again hand picked by me to be in charge of the security for all 500 of the Marines and Sailors deploying in the exercise. This was a very important job and one that that I could not assign to someone who could not be trusted to give it his all. Larry took this assignment very seriously and began a thorough analysis of the situation and developed a comprehensive force protection plan which would later be used by other units in the 7th Marine Regiment. When we arrived in county, we were able to begin training immediately thanks to the herculean efforts of Larry and his men. Larry worked tirelessly for the first two weeks, often putting in over twenty hour days ensuring the safety of the compound we lived in. Larry found some lumber and erected a tower in the center of our compound which enabled us to see out for miles around the camp. Larry would walk around the different posts at night and into the early hours of the morning, checking on the welfare of his Marines. His actions communicated to his men just how much he appreciated their efforts in protecting those Marines and Sailors who were sleeping at the time.

The desert in Kuwait can be a dangerous and unforgiving place. I can remember one incident, in which Larry was catching a quick fifteen minute nap in between shifts and was awoken by a movement close to him. He woke to find the rifle butt of one of his Marines on the head of a poisonous snake that was inches away from Larry's head. His Marines had seen the snake and immediately sprung into action preventing their well-liked and well-respected leader from being injured. This is but one example of how much Larry's men loved him and cared deeply for him.

I remember another occasion in 29 Palms when we needed someone to get to the top of a mountain to overlook our intended path of advance. Larry was the first person who came to my mind. Everyone said it could not be done, that it was impossible to get a vehicle up that mountain side. Larry took off with his contagious positive attitude and in minutes, was atop the hill and reporting valuable intelligence needed for our successful advance up the canyon.

I cannot say enough great things about Larry. He was the best Officer I ever served with and he was the best Scout Platoon Commander I ever had in the battalion. Larry was a great man as well. He treated others with dignity. He was very kind and respectful of others. He charmed all the wives in the battalion with his infectious smile and great humor. The other officers in the batallion naturallly gravitated to him because he was so liked and respected by all. He was a born leader who welcomed a challenge. He worked very hard at everything he did and always produced top quality results. He was a great friend and a superb Marine.

I remember the day he left the battalion to go to Camp Pendleton. That was a very sad day for me, because I was losing such a great Marine. Larry is an Officer that cannot be easliy replaced. His presence was sorely missed by everyone in the unit. Things were just not the same after he departed.

I am so saddened by what happened to Larry. However, after hearing the details of the incident, I am absolutely not surprised by the actions taken by your son. He was a hard charger and he never shied away from danger. Please know how much we, in the Marine Corps tanker community miss him. He will never be forgotten and he will always represent all that is good, honorable, and virtuous. You can be extremely proud of what Larry did in the Corps and I know you certainly are. You did a great job raising such a great man. Whatever you did when he was growing up was very effective because he grew into a solid man. Thank you for allowing your son to serve in our Nation's defense, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sincerely, Michael Hawkins

November 10, 2005

Today is the birthday of the US Marine Corps, and I wanted to greet you this morning with Happy Birthday Marine.
I am remembering when you flew me down to San Diego to attend the 224th USMC Ball with you and Jo Ann. That was such a special evening, thanks for sharing it with Mom.

I have always been so proud of you, and although you would be way too modest to say the following things about you, I thought visitors to this site may find it interesting to know a little about your military service. Thus, I am posting the following letter that Col. Hawkins sent me after your death. It was so nice of him to send Jo Ann and I letters.

May 2, 2005

Mrs. Loya

November 10, 2005

Hi i'm a criminal justice student here in P.A.and i just wanted to say thank you for everything you have done. and i'm so proud that one day i can one of the women in blue and it is people like you that make me proud to be doing what i'm doing to make a difference and that is what you have done and no matter what cody will be ok because you are his angle my thoughts and prayera are with you, your wife, cody and your mom

krista
criminal justice student

November 9, 2005

Mrs. Lasater
I come here often & read your beautiful relections to your husband. My heart breaks for you & your son. Larry seemed like a really great guy, someone who would have been a great person to know. I myself am going through a very similar situation. Although I was not married to this person, he was also killed in a training accident. He was an officer. I miss him very much & find it very difficult to deal with his death. I loved him dearly. Life is not the same without him & I feel at times very hopeless. Everyone keeps saying it will get easier but it seems to be getting harder. I to have questioned my faith when this happened, but I know that there as to be something after this life & I'm sure they are very happy. I have been watching the Ghost Whisperer on tv & it may sound silly to some but it really helps at least at that moment. I don't know if you are into that sort of stuff I never really use to be until my loss but I have gone to a medium & I have had contact with the person I lost. I don't want to offened anyone, cause I know a lot of people don't believe in that sort of stuff, but if you are open minded about it you should try doing it, it might give you some comfort. I will keep you in my prayers & I am very sure Larry is with you all the time

November 8, 2005

There are going to be two wrestling tournaments in your honor in December, very close to your birthday. I know you'd be so honored.
We would have been having so much fun with Cody right now. He's at a great age. He's discovering his voice and it sounds like he's telling a very important story. He'll sometimes take his little hand and gently place it on my face and look into my eyes. It's so sweet and brings tears to my eyes. Then, as we're having this beautiful moment, he'll grab my hair and pull.
I can't believe all these things you're missing. It's so unfair!
I love you

November 8, 2005

And when we lay down our
nightsticks, and enroll us in
your heavenly force where we will
be as proud to guard the throne
of god as we have been the
city of men.

Larry you've done your time, now you may RIP. See you in heaven fellow brother. Protect me and your fellow brothers from up above.

NYPD (BRONX)

PO
NYPD (Bronx)

November 7, 2005

The last few days have been very hard. They are all difficult, but some more so than others. I had to talk myself out of bed the other day, by just telling myself to put one foot in front of the other and get started. It took a while.

My heart is so wounded, broken into so many pieces that it can never be mended. Yet I have to pull myself together for the rest of my family. I have to be there for them and treasure each moment I share with them. in other words, all the things you would want me to do.

Saturday, I saw two little brothers holding hands. It reminded me so much of when you and James were little.

I love you so much, my darling son. Please help me through this.

November 7, 2005

I went to the ball for the Brentwood Police Dept. last night. It was nice that you were honored. I brought you the roses they gave me. Even though I appreciated being invited, I think it was too soon for me to go to an event like that. Dressing up like I would have for the Marine Corp ball. I wanted to look nice but all that used to matter is that you thought I looked pretty. Sometimes I feel like it doesn't matter anymore but on the other hand I know that you wouldn't want me to end up looking on the outside like I feel on the inside. I felt like I didn't belong with all those happy couples. They were having fun dancing and I remember how you would love to dance. You'd love to be the center of attention & make everyone laugh.
On a happier note, Cody just loves to be held now. He's so sweet and he's going to grow to be such a handsome boy.
Love you

November 7, 2005

I promise you that I'll be strong through the trial. If there's a change of venue then Cody and I will go there each week. They can do anything they want but they can't keep me away. I want to make sure that justice is served, although nothing will ever be good enough for me. You can never come back to me and we can never live out our lives together like we were meant to. No amount of justice will ever change what this did to my life. Living without you is a complete nightmare. I miss your loud voice, the way you would tell a story, your laughter, the way you would look at me sometimes...the list is endless and so is my pain. I know that you wouldn't want me to be so depressed but I can't help it. You were everything to me and it just gets more real by the day. This is my life now. I'm a widow. I'm a widow with a beautiful son and he needs me so I'll be strong for him. I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight, I can't help it. I'm grateful for the time we shared and I'm so grateful for Cody. I love you.

November 4, 2005

I miss you

November 4, 2005

Dear Jo Ann,
I think of you often, praying for you, Cody, and the rest of your family. I come to your husband's ODMP page frequently and read the sweet reflections people have left for him. He was, and still is, loved so much. Thank you for your kind words to me on Josh's page. He was an amazing man, as I know your husband was. Continue to reflect back on all the wonderful memories you shared with Larry, and know that I am thinking about you and praying for you.

Take care,
Kelly
*Josh Blyler 5.2.04*

Kelly Gillain

November 4, 2005

I think about you all the time. Nick and Dan mention you every night in their prayers. I see their faces change when you are mentioned. Their whole world has been turned upside-down. They loved you so much. Dominic says he can see you up in heaven, and I believe him. I know you're watching us all. I so miss your loud knock on my door. No one else knocks that way, and I always knew it was you. I miss you bumming a tool or a beer and hanging out for awhile. It always brightened my day, and I just took it for granted that you'd always be there. Every time I see someone jogging I think of you and how I would yell out the window at you "loser" with the L on my forehead! I used to love teasing you. You had such a great sense of humor. I love your little son so much. I look in his eyes and I see you there.

Denise

November 2, 2005

Cody is big enough that I can carry him around without holding his head. He's so proud of himself. He likes when I stand him up and gets upset if I stop and he's not ready to. He's the boss. He loves to look in the mirror, he thinks that baby that stares back at him is cute. He'll smile at himself and then get shy and put his head on my shoulder. I wish you were here.
It's so quiet without you. I miss you more and more as time goes on. I love you and always will. I'm so lonely without you. At the last funeral I went to there was a quote "To the world you may be just one person but to one person you may be the world."

November 2, 2005

Yesterday was Halloween. It should have been such a happy day - Cody's first Halloween. If you were here, I know that you & Jo Ann would have dressed Cody up & then taken him to visit all the relatives so we could see how cute he looked in his costume. I imagine that you would have eaten all his candy! So, I brought you some candy last night at the cemetery. As I placed the candy on your grave I just cried & cried & cried.... All I could think of was how WRONG it was to be doing this.... placing candy on your grave while Cody has his first Halloween.... You should have been here taking him out to the neighbors houses and enjoying halloween as a new parent.... This is all so WRONG and UNFAIR. I also put candy on the childrens graves that are near you.... Little Paula, Jamie and Mark.... I thought how wrong it was for their families too.... They should also be enjoying Halloween... We miss you.

Louise
sister-in-law

November 1, 2005

Cody is getting so big! I took him to Les and Summer's house for a Halloween party. He was Superman. You would have loved how your friends were dressed. I wish I could have dressed up but I just can't get into the spirit of things anymore. Maybe next year.
I love you

November 1, 2005

On my note earlier today to you, I forgot to tell you how cute Denise and Ron's youngest son was last night with Cody. He would come over and hold his baby cousin Cody's hands so gently. You could already see the love that little guy has for his baby cousin. I know how sentimental you are, and that would have brought tears to your eyes. I hope you were watching.

October 30, 2005

Last night was the first annual Pittsburg Police Dept. Appreciation Dinner which was hosted by three service groups in Pittsburg. It was such a nice event and it was good to see the community honor law enforcement without the initiating event being a death. Special tribute was paid to Officers 120 and 257 and we were presented with beautiful roses. I was especially glad that Les was the presenter of the flowers to me and Jo Ann. When I got home, I picked out two beautiful vases you and James had given me and arranged the flowers in them.

You always had such good taste. Through the years I have received so many lovely presents from you. This past week I competed in the Evening Star custom dance boots you, Jo Ann, James and Lenore gave me for Christmas of 2003. Glen and I performed our spotlight routine which I call my tribute dance to you...it is a nightclub two step to "I hope you dance" and then it transitions into a swing routine to a gospel song. Glen and I qualified for North American championships this December in Vegas and we are going to add a cha cha and samba between the nightclub and swing portion. I am asking that I be given your badge number as my competition number since it is all dedicated to you. After you were killed, I thought I would never dance again, but when the Sheriff's Academy class gave Jo Ann that CD and book of "I hope you dance", I felt that was a message from you and God. Thank you, son, for always supporting me in my competions whether it was personally cheering me on, watching competition tapes, or helping with reservations and travel arrangements. After your death, I received a sympathy card from one of Lenore's friends who says she holds in her heart a visual picture of you and I dancing at James and Lenore's wedding.

I hold so many pictures of you throughout the years in my heart. How I wish I could look into your beautiful blue eyes today. I miss you so much.

Cody has his first Halloween tomorrow. Everything would be so different if you were here. He was so good at the dinner last night. He lets everyone hold him.

This nightmare is so unfair.
Why did that scum have to take you from us? I will not ever abandon seeking justice for you.

I love you and will throughout eternity.

October 30, 2005