Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Cody, Christina & Jessica lit the tree last night. The three of them together looked so sweet. I hope Cody always knows Ray's family. They share such a sad bond, all three have to face life without their dad. It's so unfair.

Cody is getting really close to rolling over from back to tummy. He was trying tonight. He spent about an hour with his Uncle Ron & his cousins while Denise & I went to the store. I was so close to buying a Christmas tree but my heart's just not in it. I really want to decorate a tree with blue lights and ornaments in honor of you, Ray and all the fallen heroes. I'll try to do it. Denise, Ron & the boys have two trees. They were decorating the "Uncle Larry" tree tonight. They're going to put up ornaments with your badge number and Rays.

Twice now I didn't give Cody his pacifier and when I left the room and came back he was sound asleep with it perfectly in his mouth. The same thing happened to Denise when she was watching him. I can only think that you were there. I have to hang on to the belief that you can really see us, that there is life after this one.
Please help me through this.

December 4, 2005

Last night seeing your friends on the SWAT team was hard. I could just picture a few years from now Cody running up to you so excited to see his daddy at work, just like Diego & Jayla did when they saw John. Sometimes I can so clearly see these moments that we'll never have. Poor Cody will never know the feeling of being held by you.

Cody and I were so lazy today. We didn't go to the cemetary because I didn't want to take him out in the storm.
Love you

December 2, 2005

Cody and I went down to the PD tonight, the tree was being decorated in blue and gold. Cody took a picture with the SWAT team. Tommy held him. Cody looked so cute, he fit right in with the guys. I'm going to enlarge the picture and hang it in your office. Cody's so funny. He loves to be around women, he's kind of a flirt. He also likes to be around men but I would swear he thinks he's cool around them. That little boy always makes me smile.
Love you

December 1, 2005

Mrs. Lasater,

As I read some of your reflections, my heart aches for you. Although we are all different in our own grief, I can understand your pain felt from the loss of your soul mate, as I lost mine over sixteen months ago.

You had mentioned a black cat in one of your reflections. I was also visited by a black cat on my birthday this year (2/11). Unfortunately, my new found friend was sent to heaven shortly after we had crossed paths. On my way to my birthday dinner, my mom and I witnessed a little black cat get hit by a truck that was in front of her SUV. We immediately located the wounded cat and took him to the closest veterinarian clinic in the vicinity. His injuries were irreparable and I was left with no choice but to have him put to sleep. I had spent all day at work crying over my husband and then I found myself mourning another loss (I am an animal lover) that I swore to myself I could save. Shortly after my birthday, I had a dream of my husband and the little black cat. He made it to heaven and I knew Duke would take good care of him. My husband was also an animal lover. I dream of my husband like you dream of yours and in all of my dreams, we both know he is gone. We find ourselves holding each other until I wake up. I don't call them dreams, I call them visits. I feel he is rewarded the opportunity to come home and visit me when his assignments are completed in heaven. Cherish your visits from your husband.

The holiday season is upon us. There is nothing I can say to make them easy. Time will not stop them from coming. Do what you need to do to for yourself to get through them. Take comfort in family and friends and especially your new little bundle of joy.

God bless you, your husband, your little boy, the entire Lasater family, your friends, and husbands co-workers.

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

November 30, 2005

Cody and I went to celebrate Daniel's 7th birthday. Our godson. He's such a sweet boy, you always loved him so much & you're his favorite uncle. The boys call freckles "angel kisses." Dominic told Denise that he had a bad dream and a good dream. The bad dream was that there were sharks in his room (he's still such a character)and the good dream was that Uncle Larry kissed him. He had the freckle to prove it.

Tomorrow we're decorating a tree at the Police Dept. in blue in honor of the fallen officers. I promise you, I won't let anyone ever forget you or the sacrifice you made. You gave up everything. You gave up your life, our life and the saddest of all, you gave up seeing your little boy grow up. I just can't understand why this happened. I listen to your outgoing message on your cell phone when I need to hear your voice. I could watch videos of you but right now it's too hard. I watched our wedding video a few times and the video they played at the service but lately I just can't bring myself to watch. It hurts too much. I had a dream about you last night. I told you that I didn't want to have "alone time" anymore. That I had almost lost you and I was going to spend every minute possible with you. When I dream of you, it's always about missing you. There's always the feeling that I almost lost you but you had made it. God how I wish you had. I still can't believe I'll never hug or kiss you again. I love you

November 30, 2005

Please let all family know that our family knows your pain all too well. Our heart extends with our thoughts to you all at this time and always. You may contact us if you ever need anything. [email protected]

Kelli Grim
wife of Dayton Beach LEO

November 28, 2005

THE LASTATER FAMILY,THANK YOU FOR YOUR REFLECTION. WE ARE SORRY TO READ ABOUT YOUR LOSE, WE FEEL YOUR PAIN .LIFE IS NOT FAIR BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT OUR BOYS HAVE MET .THAT THIN BLUE LINE IS OUR FAMILY FOREVER. GOD BLESS LOVE THE ROLNIAK FAMILY EOW 2-4-04

maureen
rpd

November 28, 2005

Dearest Mrs. Loya,

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. It was such a wonderful surprise to find a new entry on my fathers reflections page. It has been 17 years and we still mourn the loss of him. I too feel for your loss as your son passed away so recently. I would like to follow the case surrounding his death. My prayers are with you and the rest of your family. Please dont hesitate to contact me any time. Just do a google search on my name and you will find me. Prayers and Hugs, Tracey DeLitta~Tousley

Tracey DeLitta Tousley
Daughter of David Robert DeLitta EOW 10-28-88

November 27, 2005

I have never been able to do anything in my life that has really made a difference to others. Tonight is my final performance as a professional dancer and, traditionally, these events are dedicated to those we honour. I am not sure how macho police officers would feel about having a ballet in their memory but tonight 'The Nutcracker' is dedicated Larry Lasater and Brent Wisdom (E.O.W. 9/2/92). An appropriate ballet as the bad guy never wins.
Joann and Cody, may G d hold you both in the palm of His hand.

KJ

November 27, 2005

I have so many moments to remember with Cody. I'm so glad you had that one moment that was just yours with Cody. It was when we had that detailed ultrasound where they check everything. I think I was only about 3 months along. It was before we knew that we were having a boy. The technician had the screen positioned in a way that I couldn't see but you could. You were just in awe telling me everything the baby was doing. You thought it was amazing. It was so great that you were so excited about the baby and you made sure that all the appointments were made on days that you could come with me. It's so upsetting that you were at SWAT school the day of the last appointment before everything happened. I had an ultrasound that day and you missed it.
It's getting so cold out. This was the time of year that was so fun to cuddle with you and watch a movie. I miss that. I hate being so lonely and I can't stand being without you.
Love you

November 27, 2005

I made it through Thanksgiving but it was hard. Today is even harder. It's my birthday and I don't even care, it means nothing to me now. I've been crying all morning. I was ok until I went to the cemetary and played that song for you. I just can't stop crying just thinking about what this day would have been like. This would've been the best birthday ever with my two special guys.

A little black cat showed up in our backyard today. Is that a sign from you? When everything first happened a cat showed up and still hangs around and when I went to the trail to see where it happened there was a cat staring at me. Now on my birthday this little guy shows up. I gave him food and water but he's very timid and won't come near me. That would be just like you to send a sign like that, knowing how much I love cats.
Cody rolled over for the first time on Thanksgiving. I went into the kitchen and I heard Louise clapping. Of course he had rolled over when I was out of the room. He did it again for me. He rolled from his tummy to his back, he hasn't rolled the other way yet. He's doing something new all the time. It's so amazing to watch him grow.
Your birthday will be here soon. That's going to be the hardest of all so far. You should be here.

I'll love you always

November 26, 2005

Dear Joann & Cody,
I lit candles for you all.The flames seem to burn especially brightly.I know you will bring Cody up to be a man you'll be proud of.His daddy was a hero but then so is his mommy.Every time you wipe those tears away and carry on the day you prove it.Larry chose his wife well.

November 25, 2005

Even though on our first Thanksgiving we had only been dating 3 months, I knew then that I loved you. I knew from the night of Jetti's wedding. It took until Valentines day for us to finally say it but we had both felt it for a long time. I dread tomorrow so much, I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. Cody's already sleeping. He fell asleep the other day with his little chubby hand resting on Scout. He loves to touch the cats. He now has a favorite toy. A little bear that he hugs and rubs. He's so cute and so loving. He was hugging Denise tonight.

Love you so much

November 24, 2005

I often think of ways to honor you. What can I do to make a difference? I always come back to Cody. I need to honor you by raising Cody to be an honorable man. We were so much alike in how we felt about kids and how to raise them. I know that I'll raise him how you'd want. The only thing I may do that you wouldn't like is try to shelter him too much. He was already born into such a horrible world, violence already has impacted his life. How do I show him the good in the world when his dad was murdered? People have asked me what I'll do if Cody wants to be a Marine or a Police Officer. Of course I'd be proud but it would scare me. My hope for him is to be an ordinary, happy person. I want him to lead a good & happy life, have a family that loves him but have a safe, ordinary & long life. I want him to see his kids grow up.

I've thought about all that your job took away from us, even before it cost you your life. You didn't have weekends off so we lost a couple of years of going out on dates. We had to cram the holidays into a few short hours. I should have quit working so we could spend more time together. I'm glad that I took that month off, I'll always treasure it. If I could go back in time I would beg you to work construction or if you had your heart set on police work then a safer city. I'll always feel guilty about not insisting that you apply elsewhere once I heard that you knew someone in the Pittsburg PD. Of all places, why did you have a connection there? Oh how I resent so many things and regret so many things.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving...I'm dreading it. I loved how you would stuff yourself at your Grandma's house & then again with my family. I remember our first Thanksgiving together. We had only be going out for 3 months. I'll never forget that look you gave me as you were sitting at the table at my family's house. You told me that I looked beautiful. Maybe it was because I had just handed you a beer. :)

Love you always...

November 23, 2005

Dear Mrs. Loya,
Thank you for the kind words that you wrote on my fathers page. It is a great honor that people think enough to leave a reflection. I am sorry for your loss. You can see the care, and compassion in your sons eyes. He will never be forgotten. The good are never forgotten. I hope you feel your sons loving arms around you when you are needing some comfort.

Gail Santavicca
daughter of William Boland Bell EOW Nov 19, 2002

November 22, 2005

We went to visit you on Sunday. Peter played the Raider game for you on the radio while we were visiting you. They won on Sunday. Joseph has been working on an essay that he will not let me read about you.... He promised that when he's all done I can read it. Vincent and Joseph are asking if they can babysit Cody all by themselves... I don't know if they're ready for that, but they sure enjoy being with Cody. They each have their own special game that they play with Cody to get him to smile. Cody is such a joy to have. I don't know what our family would have done if we didn't have Cody here to bring us joy... He still looks just like you. We went on Saturday to have the boys pictures taken in your shirt, hat and badge. We can't wait to see how the photos turned out. This week is going to be very hard.... We have Thanksgiving and Jo Ann's birthday.... You will be missed by all, as you always are, but more than usual on those days.... Then it will be your birthday and Christmas right around the corner.... As Vincent has asked more than once, 'Will our family ever be happy again,.....'

Louise

November 22, 2005

Dear Mrs. Loya,
Your kind and thoughtful reflection on Jay's memorial page touched me deeply. Thank you for remembering my son on the anniversary of his death. It was so very kind of you to think of us when your grief is still so fresh.

I have read many of the reflections on Larry's page. What a generous and loving man he was! He and Jay were the same age and accomplished so much in their short lives. (Jay's 35th birthday was this past January.) Our sons are truly heroes, leaving lasting legacies for those who loved them and for many people they didn't know personally, yet whose lives they touched.

Please know that Larry, you and your family are remembered in prayer this Thanksgiving week as you go through these first very difficult holidays.

Wishing you peace,
Mary Kay Balchunas
Mother of Jay Balchunas, EOW 11/5/04

November 21, 2005

Dear Mrs. Lasater and Family,

I am so deeply sorry for your tremendous loss. Words cannot begin to express the sympathy I fill for the pain you must be going through. Larry served our community well and gave the ultimate sacrifice.

I remember April 25th quite vividly, for I was home on maternity leave...having just given birth to our second child. My husband had just been hired as a reserve officer the week prior in a neighboring community, and the news of Larry's shooting shook me to my very core.

Yet, in the face of such tragedy, you were still thinking of others within the community by donating Larry's organs so they could have a second chance at life. What amazing people you all are to be so selfless and caring.

And though we did not know him, we do know that Larry was a hero in life and in death. You must be so very proud of him.

We too will be decorating our home this year in blue lights. For on our porch in Brentwood, there shall be a Christmas tree - "The Larry Tree"....dressed in blue and shining brightly for all within the community to see that he is not forgotten, and neither is his family.

We send you warm wishes that you may be able to take comfort in knowing that your family will remain in our thoughts and prayers this holiday season.

Rest in peace Officer Lasater, and thank you for a job well done.

Devoted wife of a reserve officer

November 20, 2005

The trial is set for May. By then Cody will be 10 month old. Larry, you're missing so much. He's starting to recognize people. He really knows his cousins and gets excited when he sees them. Louise told me that he was getting mad at Joseph if he would stop playing with him. The boys are so good with him, they really love him. Dominic says that Cody is like a brother to him and he's right.

I miss you so much. I can't believe how painful this is. Love you

November 19, 2005

Larry,

I have decorated the entire exterior of my home for the holidays with blue lights. One of those blue lights is in your honor so that you know that you will be remembered here at my home during the holiday season along with all the other fallen officers and those still out on patrol. The holidays are hard for all of us that have lost an officer, even though when you were here we understood that you would run in for dinner, eat and have to leave for work. The holidays were set up around your schedule because we all know about the hours that police officers work. But, we will all be thinking of yesterdays during this holiday season and how it use to be and each day we face a new day that we must get through and we get through it by knowing that our mission is now to keep your memory alive as long as we walk this earth. You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

November 18, 2005

Officer Lasater is a true hero to all. We remember you no and forever, sir. R I P

TROOPER
MASS STATE POLICE

November 18, 2005

JoAnn, Phyllis, Cody-
You are all in my prayers every day, and especially at this time of year.
We love you. Always in our hearts.

Pisstburg Police Officer's Wife

November 17, 2005

Cody doesn't know what he's lost yet but someday he'll be aware of how cheated he was. It's so unfair that he has to grow up without you. I just want to scream sometimes. Thanksgiving is coming up. I've ordered the vegan meal for me, James & Lenore & then I plan to head over to spend the rest of the day with my family. The same tradition but you're not here. It may be too much to handle and I'll end up at the cemetary all day. I have no idea what I'll end up doing. If I end up not celebrating, if Cody ever asks about his first Thanksgiving I'll tell him that I love his daddy so much that I couldn't handle that day without him. He'll understand because he'll know what an amazing person his daddy is. Whatever I end up doing at least I'll be spending it with the most important person in my life, Cody. I also know that it's important for your family and mine (especially the kids) to be around Cody during the holidays. I don't want to ruin the holidays more than they've already been ruined. Even though I'm aware of that, I'm still not going to promise that I won't be a complete wreck and need to be alone.

On a happier note, I had Cody's picture taken in the outfit that all 5 boys have worn since 1991. You'd laugh, it's so out of style but he still looked adorable in it. I also had some taken in cool clothes.

Love you always

November 16, 2005

I just read the reflection left by your family for my friend Wally Rolniak. My heart goes out to you and your family. May they someday find peace knowing someday you will all be together. I hope you find support for each other, and never let anyone forget his sacrifice...May God bless you all. Retired Riverdale Officer

Retired
Riverdale Police

November 15, 2005

Dear Mrs. Loya,
Thank you for the beautiful reflection you left on my dad's site. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only only who remembers.
I just want you to know that my dad is every bit alive today in my heart as he was 31 years ago. And as long as you raise Cody to know his dad, then his dad will ALWAYS be a part of his life.
Larry is such a beautiful name, isn't it? And I know Larry was a beautiful person as well, as I can see in the numerous reflections left by his loved ones.
Take care Mrs. Loya. I'll be thinking of you.

Taryn Walters Ontiveros
Daughter of Officer Larry Walters EOW 11-13-74

November 14, 2005