Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

My prayers and my thoughts are with you. My grief too profound to express my sorrow.

Carol Espinoza, Mother of
Officer Isaac Espinoza, SFPD
EOW 4/10/04

April 22, 2006

The one year mark is fast approaching and I think everyone who loved you is feeling very anxious and sad at this time.
We all miss you so much. Someone asked me yesterday how long I was going to feel sad and when was I going to start living again. I replied that I would always and forever feel sad. How could those who loved you not always carry that sadness with them? As for the living part, I think functioning better describes where some of us are at. Whenever the trial is over, some of the stangle hold on our lives will be lifted, but your loss will still be here and our hearts still broken. You were such a great person. So many people who describe you remark about your infectious grin and how charming you were. You were so passionate about life. I am grateful that you married the woman you loved more than life and experienced the joy of knowing you had fathered a wonderful son. You would be so proud of how Jo Ann has faced this awful adversity and heartbreak and soldiered on for Cody. Your life tragically ended at the time of your life that you were the happiest. I cherish each memory of you and will forever love you and mourn your loss. Thank you and Jo Ann for the gift of Cody in our lives.
Loving you for eternity, Mom

April 21, 2006

As the one year anniversary approaches of Larry's ultimate sacrifice, please know that I understand what you are going through. Just know that God does not promise to shelter us from the storms but he does shelter us in the storms if we will just let him. May we walk together, helping and praying for each other that we will indeed make it through our storms. I don't know that our loss will ever get any better but we will be able to live with and accept our loss as time passes.

Brenda Lucas
Mother of Anthony Lucas - EOW - 2-4-05

April 20, 2006

Officer Lasater was a blessing to the city of Pittsburgh. He lived a courages life as a police officer. They have the toughest job in our city. I am deeply saddened for his loss. My love and prayers go to his wife, mother, as well as the rest of his family. Rest in peace Officer Lasater, and thank you for keeping us safe.

Patricia
A CA mother of a police officer

April 20, 2006

It will be on year that your tour of duty ended. I know that year has been a long a rough one for those that love you. I know the tears they have cried, the many hours that they thought of you. They will never forget you, nor will your brothers and sisters in law enforcement ever forget you. You were a dedicated officer and soldier and for that I salute you for your unselfish service to your country and community. You are a true hero. Wrap your wings around your loved ones and comfort them during the hard times. Keep watch over them and protect them, also protect your friends still out on patrol.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

April 19, 2006

I don't know you but I feel very sad for you and your baby. My husband is in law enforcement and I want him to leave the force because he too works in a bad area here in Florida. I love my husband so much and I dont want to go through any of the pain I see here on this site! It is so so so sad that your husband along with so many others have lost there lives to scum of the earth!!! These animals should not be allowed to live in this world they should be put in one room and let the families of the victims handle them!! I read so many reflections and notice that your mother-in-law has left beautiful reflections for so many officers and their families. I will hold you in my prayers each nite and pray that your pain becomes less in time and only beautiful memories fill your heart! God bless you and your family

Laurie
wife of florida police officer

April 19, 2006

I am so sensitive now! I take everything the wrong way. For example, when people think it's worse to lose a child than a husband it really angers me. People have actually said that to me. Like my pain could be any worse. Maybe people who say that didn't love their husbands as much as I love you. Or maybe they don't mean anything by it. I don't know. Everyone is in pain over losing you. Whether it's a wife, brother, mother, friend, nephew or in-law. Everyone is suffering in different ways. I'm suffering not only the loss of you but of our future together. All the years we had left to raise a family, see our children grow and eventually have grandchildren. I can just picture us as a little old couple. This is so awful...

April 18, 2006

My heart goes out to all who knew Officer Larry Lasater because I know all to well the pain you are facing as April 24, gets closer. I will see you in Sacramento and I will keep you all in my prayers.

Officer Isaac Espinoza's Auntie
EOW: April 10, 2004

April 17, 2006

To PO Larry Lasater Jr. and those who loved him:

Tears filled my eyes when I read the beautiful reflection written by Mom to our son and family. Tears again filled my eyes when I read about your tragic death. There are some coincidences between you and Eric surrounding your passing. I'd like to think your paths have crossed, perhaps you even took a liking to one another, and hope and pray your content walking your beats on the streets of Heaven.

We, as parents, have suffered the ultimate tragedy. My peace and comfort comes from God and a strong hope that this parting is temporary and we will see our brave, dedicated, courageous and loving sons again.

God Bless you and your beloved family.

Shirley Verteramo, mother of fallen officer Eric J. Verteramo, Schenectady PD, EOW 4/11/04.

April 17, 2006

Brother in blue and fellow Marine,

Sir,

(salute) It has been almost one year since we lost you, and like your family, friends, fellow officers and Marines, we will never forget you! Your mother has never forgotten our friend and co-worker, Ofc. Isaac Espinoza, and we thank her for that- her kind words and selflessness. I know you are standing guard with Zak, and he's probably doing everything possible to break your bearing! ;D May God bless you and yours...Semper Fi!
(end salute)

Ofc. Patty Brown, Former Marine Sgt.
S.F.P.D., Bayview Station, Third Watch

April 17, 2006

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!

April 17, 2006

Ray's service was today. It was very touching and emotional. I remember the day that Ray was murdered 3 years ago. I called you on your cell phone and you were in that house guarding it. I remember feeling so sad for him and his family but not really understanding the pain that they felt. Now I know. I could have never guessed that 2 years later it would happen to you. I wish I could have gone to Los Angeles to personally deliver your dog tags but I know that you would've wanted me to pay my respects to Ray and his family. It would've been hard to do a quick trip like that with Cody. I also felt that it would be nice for your mom to do one thing alone for you. There have been functions that I've attended just with Cody so it was good for your mom to have something all her own. Plus she was the one that contacted the officer and arranged for your dog tags to be worn. There's also a San Francisco officer that will wear your dog tags from New Jersey to D.C. When your dog tags are returned by both officers and the set is complete again they will be displayed with the story of their journey in honor of you. That will be for Cody to treasure. I'll have a set and so will Cody. There's also an officer from Nashville that will ride in honor of you.

I'm still planning your remembrance. There's so much to do. My sisters and parents are going to help with Cody next week so I can get everything ready. I think you'll like what I've planned.

Love you

April 16, 2006

To my youngest beloved son


When I held Cody yesterday, I thought of how many times I held you in my arms. Now I can only hold you in my heart and soul.

April 14, 2006

Hi honey

Mom flew down to LA this morning and attended a ceremony at the Los Angeles Police Academy that was the send off for the bike riders of the Police Unity Tour who are leaving Southern California tomorrow to do the first cross country relay to DC. Officer Craig White is riding for you and he is taking your dog tags, your picture, your memorial bracelet and a 120 257 pin. He will give them back to us in D.C. The mayor and police chief were both very gracious. I also met the officer who is riding for Lt. Walker.

I told him how Lt. Walker escorted me home from the hospital and then met his own death New Year's Eve.

Tomorrow is Ray's wreath laying ceremony. I wanted to be there for Maria and the girls and to show my respect for Ray, but I needed to be here today for you. Tomorrow I will definitely light a blue candle for Ray and for Tim Howe's whose anniversary date is today.

Last time this year you were still with us. This hurts so much. Mom loves and misses you.

April 14, 2006

Thank you so much for your kind words about my brother. I am truly sorry that you,your family, friends and his co-workers are having to go through all this pain. You do have a wonderful gift that Larry left for you and you will always have Larry within your heart{s}. No one can take your treasured memories of your love one away from you. Find comfort in reflecting back on those memories. Thank you Larry for caring about the safety and well-being of others. You have a truly amazing, strong family!
Ofc. Charles Clark
E.O.W 4-03-03

Charlie's sis, Lora

April 12, 2006

Love you

April 12, 2006

Though I never knew you, I honor you along with my class this year at Palomar. May your family have comfort knowing that class 14 will not let you down.

Aaron

Cadet Aaron Shepard
Palomar Police Academy

April 10, 2006

Dear Mrs. Lassater and Mrs. Loya: I wanted to offer my belated condolences to you and your family for I just began reading this site after my friend, CHP Officer Jon Bailey, was MURDERED by a drunk driver on Feb.25, 2006.

I have recently seen the beautiful reflections left by Phyllis on the sites for so many officers who have been taken from us. I'm strong enough to read through them now and I can read though most without breaking down and sobbing all day and night.

I truly feel and share your loss. Phyllis, you write so beautifully on the sites for our blue angels and you are giving such comfort with your sweet words. I can only pray you are being comforted too. both as you read Larry's reflections and from what you have written for others.

I'm just a civilian, but my life has been surrounded by law enforcement (my dad was a LEO) and so I knew I would be one too. (Even before there were women IN law enforcement) But my dream was ended more than 30 years ago when a drunk driver hit the patrol car in which I was riding. Seems the CHP Academy wanted conscious people attending and I was in a coma for a while and then couldn't re-pass the physical!

As the anniversary of Larry's loss approaches, I just wanted you all to know that he will NEVER be forgotten. He lives in your hearts, in Cody and every officer still working today. Most importantly he is with God watching over you all. He is just a breath away and his goodness is in your heartbeats. Just listen and I hope you can feel his love and strength enveloping you. I find comfort in my belief that we will all be reunited because of our love of the Lord. That brings me comfort and maybe you will find comfort too. My husband is a former Marine and I will always add your Larry's name when I pray for my Marines. I have frequently spoken to Msrines at Twentynine Palmsin an effort to reduce the number of impaired drinking and driving crashes caused by our boys not thinking.l Maybe I spoke to Larry when he was there!! (Smile)

We are all connected in some ethereal but cop way and that makes us family.

I hope you both are being helped in writing your Victim Impact Statements. I help our victims/families write theirs as part of my work as a volunteer victim advocate for MADD.

Phyllis and JoAnn, you are such wonderful women and I pray you remain strong.

I also lost my dear friend CHP Officer Reuben F. Rios (to yes, a drunk driver) and have just recently found the site to go to his reflections.

Love, Your new Aunt LoVae from San Bernardino.

LoVae Pray Martines, Law Enf. Liaison
MADD-San Bernardino County Chapter

April 9, 2006

Dear Jo Ann and Mrs. Loya,

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I read a saying the other day....."God makes happy endings. So if it isn't happy, then it isn't the end". It seems so prophetic.

They are gone, but they are never forgotten.

I'm looking forward to meeting you in DC.

Carin E. Sollman, surviving spouse
Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

April 8, 2006

during the Napoleonic war,the British Admiral Lord Nelson, when facing the task of calculating his dead would ask what the "butchers' bill " was for the Day.It was then ,as it is now, a grim and cruel task to accept the death of those who serve with you, and the admirals name would end up on that "bill" before wars' end . Well our war continues and since you've passed from our ranks,(19) more of your "brothers and sisters " have been cruely taken,some like Officer May (E.Palo alto PD ) and Dep.Rosas (LASD) by the brutal lesser humans in our society.Everytime I put my uniform on,I realize that there is so much evil in this world, but I temper my anger by thinking of men such as you and my fellow fallen brother , Officer Tommy Scott, who followed you "home" on 4-29-05 .It is OUR willingness to do right when others won't , our compassion for even the least of Gods' creations , and our strength of will to be out in the cold,alone in the dark, and standing up for whats right and decent ,thats the benchmark of true heroism.Still so many of your family "in blue" are paying the "bill" for a wicked world and I know that if you were here still with us ,you'd wish it were not so-But then you'd also wish that we all stand strong and proud of the duty to be our Brothers' keepers ".Thank you,Officer Lasater.......

Mike Gentry #90279
L.A. Airport PD

April 6, 2006

Hey Larry,

Class 14 has their first day this Saturday (4/8/06) and embarks on a year in your memory and honor. I am anxious to see them grow and mold in your image and look forward to feeling your presence and spirit among us as they begin a new chapter in their lives. I know that you will be a driving force in their training and will be there to push them to their limits and demand nothing less than 100% of themselves, as you would have. I only hope that together we can honor you accordingly and make you and your family proud. As I pray and speak with you through God, I ask that He let you come down from time to time, to be on the top to pull them over, to be at the bottom to push them up and to be in our hearts to continue your service. In your death, we grow stronger. In your name, we grow closer. In your honor, we forge ahead into battle.

Semper Fi, brother.

Officer Damian Jackson
Palomar Police Academy (San Diego)

April 5, 2006

I cry and pray for you everyday... your wife, your little one, your parents, friends, and fellow officers.

We just held a memorial service marking the one year anniversary of the loss of our dear friend Peter in the line of duty. I visit this site everyday and always have, but ever since we lost Peter, I've found myself visiting more, and traveling through the pages leaving reflections.

Rebecca has done such an amazing job honoring Peter... I read your wife's reflections and I know she is fighting that same battle... Rebecca did not ever have the chance to have Peter's child, so I know she struggles with that. It seems like a catch 22... you left behind your little one that you never had any time with, but he will forever be yours and your legacy... I wish Becca had that.

I pray for you everyday, Mrs. Lasater... I'm sorry someone took things off Larry's grave and I'm sorry you have to travel this tragic and painful journey. I'm sorry for the aching in your heart.

God and God alone can heal and comfort you. Humans can only say and do so much. I wish 1000 times I could erase the hurt of survivors of fallen officers across this nation. Sometimes I feel so exhausted and selfish because it's painful to read these pages, but the inarticulation of your pain inside your soul i can't even comprehend.

I hope that God holds your hand extra tight this month... I pray Larry and Peter are up there in Heaven telling God to send extra hugs your way, extra reminders that Larry will always be with you in your heart and will always love you.

It's not fair, that we lose those we love and cherish to this "cause"... this "sacrifice"... only God has the answers for that. I wish there was more I could say and I'm so sorry that I can't think of anything better... just know that you'll never be alone because women like me will never forget about Larry, but especially about you and all those who knew and loved him.

God be with you all
LEO Fiancee and friend of Peter Grignon EOW 3/23/05

April 5, 2006

Jo Ann told me about the theft of the items from your grave. I can't stop thinking about it. It makes me so angry. It' like rubbing salt in wounds. Jo Ann takes such pride in keeping your gravesite beautiful. There are always fresh flowers there. Cody is getting so big. I think he got the temper from our side of the family. He has a new thing where if he doesn't get his way, he throws his hands down at his sides. You can't help but to burst out laughing at him. I'm sure once he can stand on his own, he'll be stomping his foot right as he throws his hands down! He is such a character. He is into everything!! Vincent and I had a long talk yesterday about Cody and sports. Vincent knows that he and Joseph promised you that they would teach Cody to play sports. Vincent seems to have everything planned out for Cody. He has figured out how old he will be when Cody is playing each sport and what he can do for him the help Cody excell..... It's not the same as you being here. We miss you.

Louise

April 4, 2006

Jo Ann, Cody, James and I with several of your co-workers attended another function in which you were one of the honorees. The Attorney General was visibly emotional as he read about you and your brothers in blue/best friends and the events of last April 23rd.

When I used to read the books on the Marine Commandant's reading list and we discussed some of them, I remember talking with you about how the Marines pride themselves in not leaving their wounded or dead. Neither does the Pittsburg Police Department. Thank you J- Flo, Phil, and Les. I love each of you, but I think you know that. I am crying again so will sign off for now.
Love you forever and ever, Mom.

April 3, 2006

Hi Larry, my names Emily and i've been helping your mom out with somethings at her office because she's helped me, my sister, and my mom out alot. She told me a lot about you and I wish I could of met you. R.I.P



Love: Emily

E

April 3, 2006