Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Mrs. Lasater,
I know we've never met but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and know how painful this journey can be.

I come to the ODMP site to read my husband's reflections daily. My husband, Michael, was killed two months before your husband, leaving me and our three kids. I find myself going to other officer's sites to read how other wives are managing. I have certain officer's pages that I found myself drawn to and one of them is your husband's. I've found your reflections to be honest, heartfelt and eloquent. I so often feel the same emotions you feel and do understand the pain. I know it's different for everyone but I do "get it".

I hope you don't mind but I felt compelled to respond to your last reflection. It was about the upcoming holidays. Last year I jokingly said I was running away from home and took my kids to Universal and Disney in Florida. It was the best thing I could have done. Breaking from tradition was a relief and made it much more managable for me...the kids didn't care, they just had a blast.

I don't know if it is helpful, but I just wanted you to know that doing what is good for you and your son is the right thing to do. I've pretty much gone with my gut feelings and they haven't let me down yet. I've realized that the best way to manage this journey is to do what is right for the kids and I, first. We're leaving again this year and plan to celebrate the holiday early with family here. Whatever Works and One Day at a Time are my mottos.

I hope your decision comes easily for you and you do the best you can to make it through this tough time.

Denise Scarbrough, Surviving Spouse
Sgt. Michael A. Scarbrough EOW 2/9/05

November 8, 2006

JOANN,
I JUST READ THE LAST REFLECTION YOU LEFT FOR LARRY. I AM IN TEARS. I CAN'T SAY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, BECAUSE I DON'T.
I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR GRIEF. MY HEART BREAKS EVERYTIME I HAVE TO LEAVE A REFLECTION FOR AN OFFICER WHO GIVES HIS LIFE FOR US. I GRIEVE FOR THE FAMILIES. I ESPECIALLY GRIEVE FOR THE CHILDREN.
IT SOUNDS AS IF CODY IS TURNING INTO QUITE THE "LITTLE MAN". IT IS SO MUCH FUN WATCHING THEM GROW. EACH DAY IS A NEW ADVENTURE.
JOANN, I ALONE CAN'T SAY ANYTHING TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER. LET ME SAY THOUGH THAT I PRAY FOR YOU AND CODY. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. JUST KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY THINKING OF YOU AND CODY, AND PRAYING FOR YOU. TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OF THE UPCOMING HOLIDAY SEASON, AND YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AND WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOU AND CODY.I WISH YOU WELL.

OFFICER LASATER, YOU REST IN PEACE, MY FRIEND. I SALUTE YOU! NEVER FORGOTTEN.

JIM SWEENEY CIVILIAN NEW JERSEY
A FRIEND TO ALL PEACE OFFICERS

November 7, 2006

My heart breaks for you!! It is a horrible way to feel all the time! I know your sick and tired of people that tell you it will get better, they don't know because they have not walked a day in your shoes! Know that Larry is with you 24-7 now. You have to do what is right for you!!!Do not worry what people think, its about you and Cody. Larry is truly there you have to believe this!! Read the book "We Don't Die" it really helped me to understand =)od Bless you!

leo wife

November 7, 2006

I can't believe the holidays are coming up. I used to love this time of year but now I don't even care. I have to force myself to participate. If I didn't have Cody I don't think I'd celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas. I kind of want to just leave with Cody for the holidays. I should be able to do what I feel like doing and not worry about what everyone else would think. I realize Cody needs holiday traditions but he won't remember this one, he's too young. I don't know what to do. Last year I was still in shock and still getting used to being a mom and being without you. I was in a fog. Now I'm worse off than last year and I'm not sure if I can get through the holiday season.

On a happier note...Cody just loves Scout so much. He feeds him and laughs when Scout takes food from him. I know Louie wasn't your favorite cat but he's really good to Cody too. That's Cody's little buddy. Someday he'll have a dog but I'm not ready for that yet.

We love you

November 7, 2006

Jo Ann,
Every so often I just want to send you a note to let you know that I am thinking of you and Cody. With the holidays coming up I felt the need to reach out to you and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I enjoyed seeing you and Cody a few weeks ago at the 100 club dinner, Cody is such an adorable little boy and what a head of hair he seems so good natured. I check often to see how the two of you are doing and look forward to hearing the cute little things Cody is doing as he grows.
I hope in some small way knowing your in the prayers of many helps. Hold on to your memories and keep them a live.
Continue to stay stronge and look after your little angle.

November 6, 2006

Mrs. Loya I attempted to leave you a message but some way, some how I left it on Officer Jeremy Chamber's reflection page. I am sorry for the mistake and I will transfer it ASAP. If you decide to look at it before I transfer it, go to the reflection's left for him on 11/03/2006. Thanks again.

Cher
Friend of Director Dion R Nelson EOW 9/24/2005

November 6, 2006

Ofc. Lasater,

We are having our annual Vet's Day/USMC birthday dinner and will be honoring you, as well as all Officers/Marines and Armed Forces members who have gone before us. "Breaking bread" has been an unwritten and spontaneous tradition that we value, giving thanks for life/family/friends, and getting to know our brothers and sisters on the streets. It has brought us closer and that's why we are the way that we are...you are not forgotten. Semper Fi, Marine!

ofc. brown, former marine sgt.
sfpd, bayview mids

November 4, 2006

Larry,
I've started this message many times and never fininshed. How do you thank someone who gave his life protecting others? "Thank you" just doens't seem big enough or special enough. You are an honorable man who is loved and missed by so many... even by thoughs who never had the chance to meet you. To your family I send my thoughts and prayers. Again, there are no words to comfort them, but I wish them all strength to get through day by day.

Your memory will live on. People will never forget the sacrafice you made.

I wish I had the pleasure to have known you.

November 2, 2006

We'll always have our memories but it's just not enough. I wish you were here and experiencing being a dad to our son. Cody's really getting his personality. He's funny, charming and sometimes he's a little angry man. Even when he's angry he's adorable. You'd love it when he's just out of the bath and his hair is all curly and crazy and he's mad about something...you'd just crack up. Most of the time though he's in a great mood and an angel.

So many people write to you here to remember you. That keeps me going because I don't want anyone to every forget such an amazing man. Some write to me or your mom but mostly to you as it should be since you're the one who made the ultimate sacrifice.

We love you

November 1, 2006

Ms. Loya,
I said a prayer for you and your family today. Thank you for visiting the other officers names. I have seen you left one for a friend of mine that we lost over 9 years ago. He only has 1 page and others have many. I was the first Deputy to him after he was was shot and killed. I never forget that day. You have touched my heart and I thank you for taking your time to speak to so many. May God bless you day to day. I am sorry for your loss. Officer Lasater gave his all for others. You carry on his work now, giving your all to others on this site.

Thank You

LT
WCSO

November 1, 2006

My Wish- Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

October 30, 2006

MRS LOYA,
I AM A CIVILIAN IN NEW JERSEY. I HAVE HAD MANY FRIENDS WHO ARE POLICE OFFICERS, IN FACT TWO OF THEM WERE SHOT AND KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY. MY GRANDFATHER WAS A RESERVE IN NEW JERSEY. I HAVE THE GREATEST RESPECT FOR THE POLICE.
I VISIT THE ODMP DAILY, AND AM FAITHFUL IN LEAVING A REFLECTION FOR OUR HEROES. I SPEND, SOMETIMES HOURS, JUST READING THROUGH THE MANY REFLECTIONS. AND MANY TIMES, WITHOUT FAIL, I SEE A REFLECTION THAT YOU HAVE LEFT, WHICH IS WHY I AM HERE TONIGHT. I WANTED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SAY "THANK YOU" FOR THE VERY KIND WORDS YOU SAY IN YOUR REFLECTIONS. EVEN ON YOUR ROUGHEST DAYS, YOU TAKE THE TIME TO LEAVE SOME OF THE MOST TOUCHING REFLECTIONS THAT ANYBODY CAN READ.
I LEAVE REFLECTIONS TO SHOW MY RESPECT FOR OUR HEROES, BUT ALSO TO LET THE FAMILIES KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE, THAT GRIEVE WITH THEM. IT BREAKS MY HEART EVERY TIME I SEE A NEW NAME. THERE ARE TIMES, WHEN I AM AT MY WEAKEST, THAT I AM IN TEARS READING. MY HEART JUST ACHES FOR THE FAMILIES, AND ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN.
I READ ONE OF YOURS TO LARRY ABOUT THE DAY YOU WENT OFF ON THE GUY IN THE LINE AT COURT.I CAN CERTAINLY RELATE TO THAT. I KNEW A GUY ONCE THAT I HADN'T SEEN FOR AWHILE. WHEN I DID SEE HIM, I INQUIRED AS TO WHERE HE HAD BEEN. HE TOLD ME HE WAS AWAY FOR AWHILE. I ASKED WHAT HAPPENED, AND HE TOLD THAT THIS COP SAID HE HAD MARIJUANA IN HIS POSESSION. IT WAS ON THE GROUND NEXT TO HIM. I ANSWERED, "YEP, IT'S ALWAYS THOSE DAMN COPS, ISN'T IT" YOU DROPPED THE WEED ON THE GROUND, HE FOUND IT, AND NOW IT'S HIS FAULT THAT YOU WENT TO JAIL. HE WAS DUMFOUNDED. DIDN'T HAVE A WORD TO SAY. ANYTIME I HEAR SOMEONE BAD MOUTH A POLICE OFFICER, I HAVE A STANDARD ANSWER. NEXT TIME YOU NEED ONE, CALL SOMEONE ELSE. EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT LIKED BY THEM, IF YOU ARE IN NEED, THEY WILL COME AND THEY WILL HELP. IT SICKENS ME WHEN I HEAR ANYBODY BAD MOUTH OUR HEROES.
I'M GETTING LONG WINDED HERE. I JUST WANTED TO EXPRESS TO YOU MY RESPECT FOR YOU. I LOOK FOR YOUR REFLECTIONS WHEN I'M READING. THEY ARE SO INSPIRING.
TAKE GOOD CARE, AND SOMEHOW, ENJOY THE UPCOMING HOLIDAY SEASON. THANKS AGAIN.

OFFICER LASATER, YOU REST IN PEACE MY FRIEND. I SALUTE YOU!

JIM SWEENEY CIVILIAN NEW JERSEY
A FRIEND TO ALL PEACE OFFICERS

October 28, 2006

You all are always in my thoughts.

With Love,
Linda

Linda Rittenhouse
Matt's Mom

October 28, 2006

Dear Mrs. Loya ~

You are an amazing woman. The love and pride you have for your son is inspiring - it radiates from every reflection you leave for him, as well as those you leave for other officers and their families. I see your reflections everywhere on this site and am always struck by how heartfelt and personal they are.

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I cannot comprehend the depth of your loss or the breadth of your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this 18 month anniversary of losing your wonderful son. May he continue to rest in eternal peace, forever safe in the arms of the angels. May God bless you and your family.

Semper Fidelis ~
Carin E. Sollman, surviving spouse
Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

October 27, 2006

I'm sending you this poem that another parent found.
Michael Gordon's father Bob posted this for Michael and some other officers. I know he wouldn't mind me posting it for you as it is very moving.

For our beloved Larry

In the hallways of our memories and in the canyons of our heart, we will always remember you.

In the soft snows of winter and the hot spells of summer, we will always remember you.

In the dawn of spring and the dawn of fall, we will always remember you.

When we are lonely and tempted to be bitter, we will always remember you.

When we are discouraged and confused, we will always remember you.

When good news is too good to keep to ourselves, we will always remember you.

In those moments we will remember the gifts you gave.

We will remember your gift of Love.

Larry we will always remember you.

I will always remember you, my precious son.

We will always remember you, our beloved.

From Mom and all your family who misses you every minute of every day

October 27, 2006

Vince Ferrante

Period 1-2

Autobiographical Story

It was a warm day in June. I was 11 years old and my brother Joseph was 12. The L.A. Lakers just advanced into the second round of the playoffs to play the Sacramento Kings. The Lakers were under dogs and my brother wanted the Lakers to win.

The first game past and the Kings won. My brother was very upset. I didn’t care much who won.

Then I heard a car come up my long drive way. It was my Uncle Larry. He was the biggest King fan ever. He was wearing his Mike Bibby jersey. He was here to see us and play basketball on our hoop. Then my brother said "Hey those Kings suck."

The Uncle Larry said "They’re up one game to zero." "They’re going to win the series four to zero."

"Ya right!" Joseph shuted. "I bet you that they will lose the series," Joseph laughed.

"You do?" my Uncle said.

"You know it" Joseph Said. " I bet you an In and Out burger that the Lakers win."

Then my Uncle said "You’re on." "I want to be part of the bet too so I said "Can I join in on this bet?"

Game two past and the Lakers won. Then game three the Kings won. Then in game four the Lakers won dramatically. Then game five the Lakers won. Game six was won by the Kings and the final game was won by the Lakers. The Lakers won the series. My Uncle Larry was upset but the next Saturday he took us to In and Out burger.

It was the best lunch I ever have had. It was great.

The reason why I remember is because he was very nice and says what he means and he does it. Then even if the Kings had won he would of still bought the food at In and Out burger for us.

The food smelt so good. It was one of the best hamburgers I ever had. When I unwrapped it the smell was great. I felt the seed on the warm bun. It tasted great. The vegetables were fresh and hamburger was warm and toasty.

This is why I wrote about my Uncle. He is very nice and respectful that is why I wrote about him.

Vincent
nephew

October 27, 2006

The eighteen month day came and went, a day where everyone who loved you thought about you and missed you terribly. It was also your seventh wedding anniversary. We were all so happy on October 23, 1999 that sometimes it seems incredulous that you are not here with us. Like it's all a bad dream that we will wake up from and we all will have our old life back, except what we wake up to is this awful reality of life without you here sharing it with us.

On Tuesday night, I watched Cody reach over and touch a heating vent(the heater wasn't on) and I remember you doing the same thing at about his age and how your Dad wasn't very effective in keeping you from touching it because you were so curious. Cody has your same curiosity. He is so active and moves so fast and he is definitely a bigger toddler than both you and James were. Maybe he got his size from his Grandpa Joseph. He is so adorable and although I know you watch over him from above, I am still crazed that you cannot be here to be his daddy. Jo Ann is a wonderful Mom, but you should be parenting him together. No matter how many people love Cody and many people do love and care for him, no one can ever take your place. In my mind's eye, I can see you, Jo Ann, and Cody together as this wonderful family.

We were all robbed of so much, but no one more than you, Jo Ann and Cody.

I had a Post Traumatic Stess moment last Friday in Mt. Diablo court of all places. I had been listening to people in the traffic line bad mouthing cops and calling them names, but I was maintaining until someone pointed out to one of the jerks running their mouths that he was wearing a tee shirt that was very offensive to law enforcement. I totally lost it at that point and was in his face yelling about how disrespectful it was to wear that shirt to court, how it was offensive and hurtful to me personally, and would be to every family member of every fallen officer in California. The guy was so stunned by my outburst that he hung his head, told me he was sorry he had offended and hurt me, that he meant no disrespect to me, and that if he had a different shirt he would take it off and put another one on. He then quietly got out of line and left. I do not think he will ever wear that shirt again. However, that could have so easily gone the other way with some thug decking me for confronting him. I just cannot stand to see law enforcement disrespected like that.
Of course, during my tirade you could hear a pin drop it got so quite except for me. I hope everyone in line who was bitching and name calling cops because of their tickets will reexamine their own behavior next time instead of blaming the officer.

I love you forever and a day

Mom

October 26, 2006

Dear family of Officer Lasater, I have left reflections for many of the fallen oficer's families,and I hurt with each and everyone. When that call comes in,as it did the night my son-in-law was shot and killed while serving domestic papers. As i try to send my sympathy to other families and read other reflections, I find so many kind words left by Larry's Mother, and how she has reached out to so many. Thank you Mrs Lasater. I hope that i can also let these families know their Fallen HERO,will never be forgotten. My son-in-law was also a Marine who served in the Persian Gulf War. So often when one of our Fallen Officer served his country,they went on to serve in Law Enforcement. How my heart hurts for Larry's wife,and at the same time admires her so much. Little Cody,will never see his Dad,but i know his Mother will tell him about his Dad everyday. There are times I wish Tracie and Jeff had,had a child. So part of Jeff would be with us. Larry had to be an example to his fellow officers. As i look at his picture,I can see the kindness on his face and the love in his heart through his eyes. Also the pride of a Marine and that of an officer. When Heaven welcomed Larry home, when he took his final flight, fellow Fallen Heros i'm sure stood at attention and saluted as another brother got to his final home. Althogh we cannot see them, I know they are forever by our side and watching over us. I beleive God gives them His very own medal of honor and courage,like one we have never seen. I will keep Larry in my heart and memories. In my prayers that God will overshadow each of you with His ever lasting love. Thank you Larry for a job well done . God Bless. carolyn moore mother-in-law of Sgt. Jeffrey T. Hewitt EOW 04-04-04 One year and twenty days before Larry, It was also on Sunday

carolyn moore

October 26, 2006

Jo, Remember the poem... He is always with you. You just have to stop for a minute and listen. Just as, he is with Phil and Les. He is the voice in their mind that tells them to step quietly while walking to a house.. "Slow down" he tells them. He is the funny things that catch your attention but you can't explaine. A person can only wish too have what you and Lar had together. You know he loved you. Hold that forever. That can never be taken from you. We love and pray for you and Cody...

October 25, 2006

Dear Jo Ann ~

I wanted you to know I was thinking of you as the 18 month anniversary of losing Larry is here. Take care of yourself and your beautiful baby.

Warmly ~
Carin Sollman, surviving spouse
Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

October 25, 2006

To the family of Officer Lasater, when I read the reflections it breaks my heart to know that another police officers family are having to deal with the loss of a loved one. I hope that peace will be with you, and that GOD will some how ease some of your pain.

October 25, 2006

It would've been 7 years today. I don't even know what to say because it hurts so much. It's also a year and a half since that horrible day. Your life ended that day and so did my world.

I love you and always will.

October 23, 2006

How do I, get through a night without you
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be...

Oh I, need you in my arms need you to hold
Your my world, my heart, my soul, if you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life

And tell me now, how do I live without you
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, Oh how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me

And I, baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you, if you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life

Please tell me baby
How do I go on
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything, need you with me
Baby don't you know that your everything, good in my life

And tell me now, how do I live without you
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, Oh how do I live

October 22, 2006

With You
I was with you...all day today.
I walked with you, along the way.
I’ve seen your eyes. I know your fear.
I wish you understood how I am here.
I am here because you know me.
You know me through and through.
You recognize my voice, because it recognizes you.
The truth says it’s not different now, only you can’t see
Because you use your eyes and ears, you may not know it’s me.
So, close your eyes and rest your thought, let me show you how
To know that I am with you, so you will never doubt.
I use the wind, instead of lips, when I want to kiss your cheek.
I’m morning dew in the air that makes you think of me.
I’m the bird outside your window that wakes you way too soon.
I’ll be the loudest of them all, so you’re sure to catch my tune.
Give to me the moment, every time I cross your mind.
Don’t dare pull away, because you lack the time.
I’m trying very hard to tell you I am near.
On the radio, there I am, the very next song you hear.
I have a message just for you.
Don’t pull away, let it through.
Listen! Listen! Not for my voice, listen! Shhhhh.
Those words are my choice.
There’s a stranger passing by, bumps your shoulder, catch his eye.
There I am. Please be kind.
The old book you found yesterday underneath the bed,
Turn the page, stop anywhere. Tell me, what have you read?
Me! A message from me, the only way I do.
There I am, everywhere. Now I’m more a part of you.
I’m the flower in your garden that blooms with little rain,
Giving you beauty, in color, in hopes to ease your pain.
I’m a child with a smile or a baby with a tear.
Look at my face carefully, can’t you see me clear?
I will help you now, carry your burden light.
Know that I will hold you. Walk your days and sleep your nights.
I can do this now, because I have no limit you see.
I have all the world as tools to give you Love from Me.
Although it’s time to close this note, my words still linger on,
And my heart is burning brightly now, so
Listen! Shhhhh. This is our song!
*************************************
A poem for you, Jo and Cody... We love you and pray for you every day.

October 19, 2006

Cody kissed your picture tonight. I didn't ask him to do it, he just grabbed your picture and put his little lips on your face.

October 14, 2006