Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

? So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

December 12, 2006

Thinking of you today! May the rain be a reminder of the renewal of life, that God promises, with the faith that we all need to hold onto. I celebrate today and wish you and your family a peaceful day... God Bless
~~Believe~~

Angel of Peace

December 12, 2006

Dear Ms. Loya,
I read your kind words on Dan Seely's reflection page. I can't imagine your suffering, but I hope you will take some comfort in knowing that God holds a special place for those who give their lives in the service of others. You WILL see your son again.

Lieutenant
Anchorage Police Department

December 10, 2006

Larry,

Just wanted you to know that I met your mother at Parent's Retreat October 2006. She contacted me when our son was murdered 4/21/05 but since we had a trial coming up could not respond. She is such a lovely lady and she thought it so unusual that Our son's name is Larry and he was killed in April the same month as you and the same year only 3 days apart and our son has a son and that your wife was expecting your son. We are so sorry for our losses and know that God will give us the strength to move on. We will never forget our Larrys nor the other Law Enforements which are still out there daily to keep us safe. We pray for each of them and we never forget the Police Family.

Joy Cox
Friend of Larry's Mother

December 9, 2006

Dear Mrs. Lasater,

I wanted to remind you that myself and my peers (class 14) honor Officer Larry Lasater eveyday we wear our uniform. He is remembered through our thoughts and prayers and we dedicate each day to our fallen hero. Though he is living with Jesus, he is present in our hearts and souls. Our class is at the half way mark, and were uniting together as one. Officer Lasater would be proud. God bless you and yours throughout the holidays.

Cadet Smith (Class 14)

Cadet Smith

December 6, 2006

I miss going out to breakfast on Sunday mornings with you. I bet we'd still do that with Cody. I miss having a glass of wine while you had a beer and just talking for hours. I have great friends and family but there's nobody else I can talk to like I could talk to you. You really understood me and you knew me so well and still loved me despite all my flaws. I miss laughing and joking around. So many of my memories are funny ones. I miss the comfort of our relationship and I miss having a home. The day everything happened our house became just a house. It wasn't home without you there. I don't think I'll ever feel at home again. I miss so many things and sometimes I still can't believe that your life was taken when you had so much more to do.

The trial has been delayed AGAIN. I know it's going to be hard to listen to testimony but I have to be strong for you. I'm waiting for my day in court where I can tell those two exactly what I think of them.

Please watch over everyone, especially Cody and our God son Daniel.

Love you

December 3, 2006

Larry- This is my first reflection. Like many of us, I don't know exactly what to say, other than I think of you, Cody and Jo Ann every day. Some of the guys were over on Sunday night for a surprise b-day party and a couple of us were talking about how much we miss you everyday. Maybe because I know you would have been in the garage with us catching up and telling stories like we used to do. Life has changed without you around, and it hits me sometimes at the strangest times. I miss you LL and know that you will never be forgotten, never.

As I know you see, Cody is growing strong and is blessed with a wonderful mother. My kids often ask about Uncle Larry in Heaven, and it breaks my heart each time I try to explain you are in a better place. I wish everyday you were here. God bless you,love you and miss you.

J

J

November 30, 2006

I didn't know Larry personally, but by reading the reflections here, it's obvious he made an impact on a number of people including myself. I met Larry once during his academy class. I was a role player during his scenarios and remember seeing him. It was obvious then that he was a real go-getter with a desire to be the best cop he could be. I was truly sadded when I heard of his passing.

I continue to pray for Larry's family for their loss.

Dep. Santos
Former Contra Costa Sheriff

Dep. Santos
San Joaquin Co Sheriff

November 29, 2006

Mrs. Loya,

I just read the reflection you left on Matt Williams' page...The letter you submitted to "The Ledger" was beautifully written. I have never met your son or Deputy Sheriff Williams, but I am deeply affected by their deaths. No one can truly understand what this loss feels like unless they have actually gone through it. I envy those that dont understand. I pray every day that no other parent, sibling, spouse, child or co-worker have to endure this pain. But if they do, I know that your reflections, your prayers and your kind words will help them heal.

I thank you and the entire Lasater family for being
pillar(s) for this police community. We greatly appreciate you!!! Larry was a lucky guy!!!!

Sent with utmost respect,

Kathy

In Memory of Mark Sawyers EOW 6-5-04
Sterling Hgts PD, Michigan

November 29, 2006

"Good Man"

I remember the first day I met you
we were so young
you were a blessing
and there was no guessing
you were the one
Love is so crazy
We had a baby
and said our vows
That's when you told me
should anything happen
I can hear you now
You told me

[Chorus:]
If the sun comes up, and I'm not home
be strong
If I'm not beside you, do your best to carry on
Tell the kids about me
when they're old enough to understand
tell them that their daddy was
a good man

First anniversary
remember we
chose a star
And as i stand under it
I can't help but wonder if
You see it where you are
For whatever reason
You don't see the seasons
Change again

Go there with peace of mind
We'll meet on the otherside
Cause true Love don't end
and baby

[Chorus]

Two eyes looking up at me
Pointing to a picture like where is he Mamma are you OK?
What did the paper say?
To make you cry that way?

It said your Daddy lived for you
and your daddy died for you
and I'll do the same

November 29, 2006

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough." The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom."
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking,
"Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? ". "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?". " I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is -- the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?".
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."
She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them."
Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. We will never forget....
I'm Sending this to the people I will never forget.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....
To all of Larry's Family and Loved ones,
I WISH YOU ENOUGH

Angel Of Peace

November 28, 2006

Thanksgiving and my birthday are over. Now I have to get through your birthday and Christmas. You used to make my birthday so special but now it just doesn't mean a thing to me. The only positive thing about my birthday is it brings me one day closer to being with you again.

Love you and miss you always

November 27, 2006

Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You are missed by so many, but never forgotten. Rest in Peace my friend.

Jimmy Olmstead

November 27, 2006

Ofc. Lasater,

Wishing you and yours a safe and blessed Thanksgiving and holidays, keep them strong and let them know you are here! Semper Fi.

Ofc. Patty Brown, USMCE5
SFPD, Bayview MIDS

November 24, 2006

INDIA.ARIE LYRICS

"Good Man"

I remember the first day
I met you
we were so young
you were a blessing
and there was no guessing
you were the one
Love is so crazy
We had a baby
and said our vows
That's when you told me
should anything happen
I can hear you now
You told me

[Chorus:]
if the sun comes up
and I'm not home
be strong
If I'm not beside you
Do your best to
carry on
Tell the kids about me
when they're old enough to understand
tell them that their daddy was
a good man

First anniversary
remember we
chose a star
And as i stand under it
I can't help but wonder if
You see it where you are
For whatever reason
You don't see the seasons
Change again
Go there with peace of mind
We'll meet on the otherside
Cause true Love don't end
and baby

[Chorus]

Two eyes looking up at me
Pointing to a picture like where is he?
Mamma are you OK?
What did the paper say ?
To make you cry that way
It said your Daddy lived for you
and your daddy died for you
and I'll do the same

[Chorus]

JoAnn, Do you best to carry on this Thanksgiving. Larry would want you to be strong and start a new tradition for Cody. May God give you strength to get through this Holiday. Cousin, Isaac Espinoza. EOW 4/10/04

November 22, 2006

To Larry's Mom:

I was just reading a reflection for Police Officer Jeremy Chambers, from Cahokia Police Department
Illinois and there is a reflection on the first page that I think belongs to you. It is maybe the 10th or 11th reflection on there. Just thought you should see/read it.

I will keep your family in my prayers and hope you can enjoy the holidays. I have read the reflections that you have left on many, many pages. I hope you know that every time you leave a reflection it beings tears to my eyes knowing what a wonderful son you have and you arent afraid to tell the world. God Bless You.

Frequent Visitor
None

November 22, 2006

Jo Ann & Cody,
Happy Thanksgiving......... Jo Ann, I really do understand in a strange way how hard this time of year is so I wanted to send you a hug and let you know you are being thought of more then normal. Stay strong and know Larry is with you and he would want you to begin those special memoirize for Cody. Warmest hug and my prayers are with you on Thursday.

November 20, 2006

Officer Lasater,

We are a little more then half way through the academy, and before we know it graduation will soon be upon us. It has been hard at times coming together as a team, but we tend to see it through and realize that we do need each other to succeed. Throughout the academy year each of us have experienced or will experience trials with our personal lives, and there are days when it is hard to focus on the task at hand, and times when we feel like giving up. I guess I can really just speak for myself, but in those times I look at your picture on our wall, think about you, and your family and I pick myself back up.

Today I found my high school friend's father's page, CHP Officer Saul Martinez, he too made the ultimate sacrifice, and like you, he has also been an inspiration to me. I never had the opportunity to meet him either, it was only upon his passing that I became close to his family, but I got to know him through them, and it seems as if I knew him all along. The same with your family, through the memories they share of you I feel as if I have known you, because it becomes personal. For that, I thank them, and all the families who share with us something so close to their hearts.

I know that you and Mr. Martinez are guiding us all through this academy, and will be throughout our careers. I wear your t-shirt and his with pride, and I've noticed that some how when I'm wearing the t-shirts I tend to run a little faster, and work harder, or maybe that's just you guys giving me that push I need. Even without the t-shirt thoughts of you and your family motivate me to give more then what I think I can do.

Thank you for your journey, so that we may follow and continue on. God Bless you, and your beautiful family.

Respectfully,
Cadet Rocha V.

Cadet Vanessa Rocha
Palomar Police Academy

November 16, 2006

Dear JoAnn, I am thinking of you right now, and want to say what an awesome wife you are. Your reflections to your husband amaze me. I could only wish that if my son (I have a daughter) had a wife like you, I would know he died a HAPPY MAN. As a mother, I would know that I raised a boy that actually look for a GOOD women and found one.

When you meet your husband again at the pearly gates, I know he is going to look at you like never before. You will walk forever together. You are an awesome women and he was hero. May God bring you peace. May you find joy and comfort when you look into your sons eyes.
Much Love, Cousin - Isaac Espinoza.

November 10, 2006

MRS.LASATER,
I'M SURE I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU FELT IN THAT COURT ROOM. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE FAMILIES CAN STAY SO STRONG FACING THESE COWARDS IN COURT. I DON'T BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE THE SELF CONTROL, TO SIT AND FACE THEM KNOWING THEY TOOK AWAY FROM ME AND MY CHILD THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN OUR LIVES. A PERSON WHO DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OTHER THAN HIS JOB.
YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE AND STRONG WOMAN, AND I HIGHLY RESPECT YOU.
DOESN'T IT JUST BAFFLE YOU WHEN YOU ARRIVE TO PICK UP YOUR CHILD AND THEY SORT OF IGNORE YOU. HOW COULD SOMETHING BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MOM??? GOD BLESS HIM! I WILL CONTINUE TO COME TO THIS PAGE FOR MANY YEARS, TO WATCH CODYS' PROGRESS.
GOD BLESS YOU AND CODY, AND STAY STRONG. MRS LASATER, WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU.

REST IN PEACE, OFFICER LASATER. NEVER FORGOTTEN.

JIM SWEENEY
A FRIEND TO ALL PEACE OFFICERS

November 10, 2006

Our fellow Officer and Marine,

Wishing you a blessed Marine Corps Birthday and Veteran's Day, you will be honored tonight at our dinner, and will "sit" at a seat put aside for all of our fallen officers and Marines and celebrate with us...Thank-you for your service, Semper Fi.

Ofc. Patty Brown, USMC
SFPD, Bayview Mids

November 10, 2006

I hope that everyone that leaves messages here knows how much it means to me. I appreciate it so much and I know that Larry's mom does too...thank you all.

Today we went to court and it was hard. I had eye contact with one of them and it sent a chill down my spine. Pure evil.

My parents watched Cody while I was there and he was saying "mom" the whole time I was gone. When I went to pick him up he just glanced at me and went on with what he was doing. I expected a huge hug and at least a little excitement. What a character!

Love you

November 9, 2006

Mrs. Lasater,
I feel bad for everyone on this site. But for some reason your story just breaks my heart. You speak from the heart & you are so real, no phoniness about you at all. I think about you all the time & I wish I could make things better for you. Know that Larry is with you all the time. I know you know that. Your little boy sounds so beautiful & just know that he is a little piece of Larry, so you will always have a reminder. Take care & God Bless.

November 9, 2006

Dear Mrs. Lasater:
This is truly a first for me...although I have had written many reflections for brother officers, including your husband, this is the only time I have EVER written to a fallen brother twice.
But this reflection, in honor of Larry, is to you and Cody. EVERY chance I get, I read this site, and without fail, I ALWAYS read Larry's reflections. I read them because of the words you say to him, and how much pain you have had to endure. Having recently been involved in a gun fight, I read your reflections to Larry, and through my tears, I realize that this could have been me also. And this could have been my wife enduring the same hurt and pain. We too, have a 2 year old son.
Please know, that although we have never met, Larry has become a hero to me...personally. Along with my late Dad, and a fellow officer and friend of mine who also made the supreme sacrifce...Sgt. "Rocky" Hunt. And although we have never met, I would like to convey to you, Cody, and Larry's Mom, that if there is EVER anything I can do for any of you, I would be honored to do so. It is the least that a fellow brother can do for another's family...in his honor.
May God bless you and Cody, may He bless every law enforcement officer and their families as well, and may he keep Larry close to His heart. Amen

Detective Ron Tomassi
Palm Beach Sheriff's Office-Florida

November 8, 2006

Mrs. Lasater,
I know we've never met but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and know how painful this journey can be.

I come to the ODMP site to read my husband's reflections daily. My husband, Michael, was killed two months before your husband, leaving me and our three kids. I find myself going to other officer's sites to read how other wives are managing. I have certain officer's pages that I found myself drawn to and one of them is your husband's. I've found your reflections to be honest, heartfelt and eloquent. I so often feel the same emotions you feel and do understand the pain. I know it's different for everyone but I do "get it".

I hope you don't mind but I felt compelled to respond to your last reflection. It was about the upcoming holidays. Last year I jokingly said I was running away from home and took my kids to Universal and Disney in Florida. It was the best thing I could have done. Breaking from tradition was a relief and made it much more managable for me...the kids didn't care, they just had a blast.

I don't know if it is helpful, but I just wanted you to know that doing what is good for you and your son is the right thing to do. I've pretty much gone with my gut feelings and they haven't let me down yet. I've realized that the best way to manage this journey is to do what is right for the kids and I, first. We're leaving again this year and plan to celebrate the holiday early with family here. Whatever Works and One Day at a Time are my mottos.

I hope your decision comes easily for you and you do the best you can to make it through this tough time.

Denise Scarbrough, Surviving Spouse
Sgt. Michael A. Scarbrough EOW 2/9/05

November 8, 2006