Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Jes,
You were thought of today along with other days. I am sure that your family and friends miss you, especially rounding the holidays. Please know that you are not forgotten. We know that you are in a good place and I hope to laugh with you again some day. Kenny and Camila

S/A Kenneth Glenn
DEA, San Francisco Field Division

December 10, 2006

Happy Birthday Jess, everyone miss you alot. hope your have a good time,i am sure you are because your just that kind of guy. talk to you later. kris and stacey

December 8, 2006

Happy Birthday Jesse, miss you pal...

Officer Dominick Marraccini
Easton Police Department, Easton PA

December 6, 2006

Just thinking of you all today.

Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom

December 5, 2006

Happy Birthday, Jes.

You'd be 38 today - if you were here you'd spend a good part of the day making fun of the fact that I'm older than you (only by 3 months, but you never let me forget it). You'd tell me that you didn't want a present or a cake or anything, but I know that you really did - you loved your birthday.

It started to snow a little this morning, just light flakes that didn't lay. Mom called and said it was confetti for your party.

We miss you, Jes. I look at pictures of you and even after all this time it's still so hard to believe that you really aren't here anymore. I miss so many things - the sound of your voice, your smile and the way you'd move your shoulders up and down when you laughed hard, the goofy things you used to say and do, how you used to tease Willard (he's getting pretty old now), the way you loved on the kids.......so many things.

Some days, like today, I just feel so sad inside.

We love you, Jes. Have a great birthday.
Always and forever ~
Carin, Savannah and Jacob

December 4, 2006

Happy birthday Jesse!

December 4, 2006

Carin,

Thinking of you and the children always, and especially around the holidays. Keep your chin up, your children and family close, and know that you are thought of daily by everyone I know in the law enforcement community. My prayers are with you always. Much love to you....

Bethlehem Police Dept. Wife

December 1, 2006

Carin,
I just recently came across this site after the death of Officer Petzold. I have been a lifelong resident of the Lehigh Valley. I just recently just got done reading all of the 14 pages of Jesse's site. You have carried out being the person that Jesse wanted you to be. You are making him extremely proud.

Jessica

November 26, 2006

Hey Jes ~

You've been gone 20 months today. Some days it's still so hard for me to accept all of this - what happened to you that day, that you are gone forever, that I will never see you or talk to you or hold you again, that you won't be here to see the kids grow up.......all of it seems so unreal I sometimes still feel like it has to be a bad dream that we will wake up from.

But it is real. It did happen to you and you are gone forever. I don't think I will ever truly understand why this happened to you and to us.

I'm sure you already know this - an officer from Upper Saucon Township, Dave Petzold, was struck by a van and killed a few weeks ago. He leaves behind a wife and 3 young children. I've spoken with her and we are going to get together with the kids. She is really nice and funny and easy to talk to - I'm hoping we can become good friends and together can find a way to rebuild our lives. I hope you and Dave have also found each other and together you can watch over all of us.

I love you, Jes, and I miss you every day.
Always and forever.
~ Carin

November 25, 2006

Carin~
You are amazing!! I come to this site often and read different reflections but the ones you write to Jess and other officers wives are so inspirational!! My husband is a cop here in Florida (Cocoa)and he is in a high risk area and I worry all the time about him getting hurt or worse. The only peace I have is Sunday's and Monday's because those are his days off and I know he's home safe with me and the kids. I want him to leave the police force and do something different but I know that is selfish, I always think I'm going to get that knock on the door. He just applied to another agency that is on the beach and alot safer, we will find out on Monday if he is offered the job, totally night and day. They say 1 year experience in Cocoa is 5 years experience on the beach. He has been an officer for 5 years. I just wanted to tell you that even though I don't know your pain I do know that it must be hell!! I have learned so much reading your reflections and I do not take my husband for granted and I tell him I love him 100 times a day!!I will always keep you and all the other wives and husbands who have lost their loved ones in my prayers!! God Bless you and your children, you are truly an angel too!!!

Laurie
LEO wife

November 25, 2006

Dear Carin ~
First, I'd like to say that I am sorry for your loss! I have thought about you - being the wife of an officer these situations are the most feared. I did not know this site existed until our friend, Dave Petzold was taken from us! I admire you for being so strong!

My husband and I are good friends of the Petzold's. Thank you so much for reaching out to Jess! I will always be there for her and the kids but knowing she has someone like you to talk with is comforting. She needs someone that has been there, can tell her she will be fine, can tell her how to get through those tough days. She is a very strong woman and we love her with all our hearts.

I hope you two enjoy each other! Take Care,
Stacey

Stacey Trexler
Wife of Office

November 23, 2006

Jesse...have a great Thanksgiving... I know you and Drew will have quite a feast up there...Thinking of all of you today... always, Chrissy

November 23, 2006

Carin,

Just wanted to wish you and the kids A Happy Thanksgiving. Try not to eat to much Turkey !

The Holcombs,
Connie, Tyler & Trent

November 23, 2006

Hey Jes ~

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm taking the kids to Fort Lee to spend the day with your family. Tia Susana is cooking.....it will be an amazing meal. It won't be the same without you there but we will do the best we can. The kids really love to go there, they love to look at the skyline from the livingroom - Savannah must ask a million times if that is really the "city". Some day I will take both of them to NY and will show them where you grew up. I'll take them to Central Park and tell them the story of how you proposed to me on a horse and carriage ride. They love to hear stories about you.

Pop Shreve is in the hospital and is really not doing well. Please watch over him - make sure the angels are around him and if it is time for him to leave us here, please make sure that he finds nan as soon as he gets there. He's been waiting a long time to see her again.

Anyway, I wanted to just tell you how much I love and miss you.

Love you, Jes. Always and forever. ~ Carin

November 22, 2006

Carin, Savannah & Jacob...Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving....I hope that you will find some peace and contentment this Thanksgiving...when I think of all the things I am thankful for, having you as my friend is at the top of the list...be strong my sister...I will be thinking of you guys today.. love always, me

November 22, 2006

Carin,
Thanks so much for the note. We are doing better !! I'm doing things I never thought I would do .. But that's o.K. Our boys are 15 & 17. So Tyler has talked me into joining the Ohio Cattlemans Assc. so he can show his steer around Ohio. We leave for Lima Ohio the day after Thanksgiving. That is about 4 hours from us. He went hunting this morning and got a deer. So keep writing to us , and I'll talk to you later..

Love Connie Tyler and Trent Holcomb

November 19, 2006

Dear Carin......
U don't know me but i knew Jesse since i was a Paramedic for the City of Easton for several years.I know this is long overdue,however that does not mean i havent thought about u ,Jesse and your kids quite a few times after the horrible events that took place that day.
I worked the night shift in Easton since at the time i was married to an Allentown police officer who also knew Jesse well and actually trained with him since he was also part of Allentown SWAT.I remember vividly being on a fire call with Jesse and i remember him giving me advice on my failing marriage which helped me tremendously,he made me see a different side ,jokes and all.
Unfortunatly my marriage didnt last,after 15 years i decided to end it and move on with my 2 kids who are ofcourse still very close to their father.
I remember getting a call from a retired Easton police capt. who is a friend of mine telling me about Jesse and how awful i felt that moment.I then called my ex -husband who was also in total disbelieve.
Eventhough i am no longer married to a police officer ,i am still a Paramedic and my children's father is a police officer.
I took my 15 year old son to the funeral of Officer Petzold's funeral and realized how close to home this all hit.All the arguments that i had with my ex seem to be so insignificant ,considering i could not imagine ever having to tell my children what Officer Petzold's widow and you had to tell your children.
I truly wish you all the strenght in the world ,you have tons of people looking out for you and your children.
I wanted to tell you how much i admire your strenght
Take good care of yourself.you have people think of you that you didnt even knew existed.....

paramedic

November 16, 2006

Rascal Flatts - My Wish

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're gettting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

November 15, 2006

I would give anything Jes, anything, to be able to talk to you right now. My heart is just aching and I feel so sad and alone. I miss you and I wish you were here to make everything right again. ~ Carin

November 13, 2006

Hey old friend. I know it's been a long time since you and I last talked but I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you. Every time I hear a Metallica song, it brings a smile to my face and I'm really glad you talked me into going to that concert with you. Sorry about splitting your lip on the way buddy but you never missed a beat and yes, you are still pretty. I just wanted you to know that, while I may not keep in touch with Carin as much as I used to, that I will always take care of your little girls and your little man, just like I know that you are taking care of my little guy. Give him a hug for me pal, because I'm sure that you both can use it. I miss you every day and make sure that I stop and make the sign of the cross when I pass by the room where I tried so hard to bring you home and pat your number above the stairs when I go down for lineup. You'll never be forgotten, in my mind and my heart, and someday, we'll both be together again, kicking in doors and drinking beers. Give Colton a kiss for me and take care of the little guy. I know that if things were different and we had traded places that day that you would still be thinking about me and taking care of Wendy and the baby.

Carin, know this... I love you and the kids very much and that I made a promise to Jesse the day that we buried him that I would take care of you forever, and I intend to stick by that promise. And while I may not be in contact as often, you know that you can call me any time of day or night, and I will come running. Don't ever forget that I love you guys very much and am sorry that I couldn't bring Jesse home that day. I do know this though... SWAT was the only thing he ever wanted and that he would never have traded it for anything in the world, except for maybe one more day...

Love Always-
-Nick

Officer Dominick Marraccini
Easton Police Department, Easton PA

November 11, 2006

Jesse, I just left a reflection on David Petzold's page and wanted to say hi to you as well. I do visit your page often and read the reflections left by everyone, but especially your devoted Carin.

You are missed, but not forgotten. Not by anyone. You come up in conversation alot, and you still make us laugh. Just looking at your picture we have posted in our swat truck makes me smile and remember.

Wayne Smith, Corporal
Palmer Township Police

November 11, 2006

Carin,
I do not know you personally; however,I live in Easton as well and was exeremly saddened by the passing of your husband. I know it has been 18 months now but I just came across this website tonight. I have to tell you that it is now 1:30 in the am. I have been reading all 13 pages on your husbands site and I do not think that It would be possible for me to shed another tear. You are a strong women and a wonderful mother. I too have children, 3 boys to be exact. I hope one day that I get to meet you in passing or even a soccer game. Just know that a complete stranger is praying for you and your family.

November 10, 2006

Dear Carin,

Hello - I visit Jesse's site often, and I have since the first day. On March 25th, I was working EMS in Northampton County, and when I heard the call go out, my heart sunk. Then watching the news reports, and reading the paper, I could only imagine what you were going thorough, then reading your posts to Jesse's site, I could literally see what you were going through. My heart has ached for you, everytime I see one of your posts I wonder how you have been able to make it through this. I wondered how one person could take on the world, which you have, and I commend you! When I heard that your benefits were cut off, the pitiful check that was supposed to pay for Jesse's funeral, and everything else that you have had to endure, I became so angry. Today, I decided, with the incident in Upper Saucon Township, that I needed to sit down, and somehow find the right words to say to you. I did not know Jesse, however, I heard stories about him, several years ago, I met an Officer down there who was telling stories, so although I did not know him personally, I did hear about him, he sounded like a wonderful man and quite a jokester as well.

Carin, I think that you are an amazing woman, you are a wonderful wife to Jesse, I guarantee he is proud of you. You held it together even though you are probably breaking inside. I wish I would have had the chance to know Jesse, and you. I bet you made a wonderful couple.

My heart goes out to you, I hope that you are doing a little better since your last post, it must be difficult. Honestly, if I lost my other half, I doubt I would be doing a fourth as well as you are. You are definitely an inspiration.

God Bless,
Eric

Eric
Emergency Medical Technician

November 9, 2006

Hey Carin...I am sorry you had another moment...it seems the anniversary of our wedding is the hardest day for me too...you had a lot more years with Jesse, but the reason we have that day to celebrate is the same...we loved them...completely...and still do...I think about you everyday...I know we are in the same place....almost exactly...we are almost exactly the same number of days into this...I really believe that Drew and Jesse brought us together....when Jesse was taken that day, when we buried Drew...they met up there and said...let's get our girls together..they can conquer the world together...ok so maybe not the whole world...but together we build strength...together will hold our families together..hold our children closer...we know now what is takes to love someone...no matter what....we know how quickly it can be taken away from us....I truely admire you Carin...I know that you leave a lot of reflections on other officer's pages... I am so glad that you do...I have tried to do that too....sometimes it's too hard for me...I get too emotional when I write from work....and the kids are always around at home...it's hard enough to write to Drew without crying..and then the kids get emotional....so, from all the rest of your family out here, we thank you...from the very bottom of our hearts! I love you Carin..it's nice just knowing you are there! love, me

November 7, 2006

Carin
I lost my husband on September 28, 2006 He was an Ohio State Trooper for 21 years. I wonder how the Boys and I can ever go on without him in our life. He was the Rock in our family and such a great person. He was my best friend. I wrote him a letter today about us having ground breaking for a new school. He worked for 2 years to pass a $46 million dollar tax levy so his boys could have a new school and he has been cheated out of being able to see the school being built. I will miss him so very much at the ground breaking tomorrow. I get comfort out of reading your letters to jess and knowing that it is not crazy to write them letters. I have joined a c.o.p.s program here in ohio which really helps the boys and I just get through every day life. It has been nice writing to you if you get time drop me a line.

Connie Tyler & Trent Holcomb

November 3, 2006