Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

M.S.H.P. Sergeant Graham Killed in the Line of Duty - Tuesday, March 29, 2005
DEXTER -- Hundreds of uniformed law enforcement officers packed into Dexter's First Baptist Church on Thursday to pay their respects to fallen comrade Sgt. Carl DeWayne Graham Jr. The 12-year veteran of the Missouri State Highway Patrol was shot and killed Sunday afternoon outside his Van Buren home as he completed that day's shift. Although hundreds of Graham's family, friends and colleagues managed to find a space to sit or stand inside the large chapel, others still had to listen from the outer hallway surrounding the worship hall. Throughout the service, Graham was heralded as an attentive and loving father, respectful son, fun-loving friend and dedicated trooper. Graham's cousin Denny McGinley offered the opening eulogy for the slain patrolman and noted the remarkable turnout for the funeral service and the previous night's visitation. "By this attendance and those that were there last night, I'm in awe of how much this man was respected and loved," McGinley said. State police from as far away as Maryland, Wisconsin, Ohio and Oklahoma attended the memorial service, as well as law enforcement officers from cities and counties around the state. The majority of the uniformed officers, though, wore the blue of the state Highway Patrol. In one heart-stopping moment, Highway Patrol Cpl. Craig Ponder delivered a message from the deceased sergeant -- his best friend -- that had been written years ago on a form that all state troopers complete in case they are killed while on duty. "If I'm killed in the line of duty, I would like people to be aware that I was killed doing a job I believed in and loved doing," Graham had written. Ponder and Graham had become friends while attending Southeast Missouri State University, where Graham continued to build his career in law enforcement by working as a member of the campus police department. Current members of the SEMO University Police attended Thursday's service to honor Graham. Ponder shared several memories of his friend, including descriptions of Graham's contagious smiles and constant antics that drew laughter and, no doubt, fond memories from others in attendance. Overcome with emotion, the state patrolman struggled through the touching memorial to his lost friend. "Dewayne Graham was a one of my best friends," Ponder said. "He was a great trooper, a great man and the best father." Graham's 4-year-old son Hayden sat quietly next to his grandfather throughout the service as McGinley recalled how Graham would patiently watch the little boy's favorite video over and over again with him. "There's few men that I know of that will watch a video so often that he could memorize the credits on 'The Wiggles,'" McGinley said. As state highway patrol troopers and other officers flanked the side walls and two aisles in the chapel, as well as the worship hall's balcony level, McGinley advised Graham's family to take note of the support -- both physical and emotional -- that Graham's comrades were offering. "Family, you are wrapped in blue," he said. "They are all around." Standing behind the state flag-draped casket, McGinley shared his last memory of his cousin in which Graham told McGinley of his devotion to Christ. "We can all only imagine what heaven is like, but today Dewayne is experiencing it," McGinley said. In describing the "respectable man," McGinley said Graham loved his son, his family and life. "He demonstrated what integrity is all about and what it means to be a man of honor," he said. Gene Edwards, pastor of Mountain Grove's First Baptist Church where Graham was a member, described the sergeant as a devoted Christian who liked to smile. Graham also embodied what the state highway patrol stands for, Edwards said. "The vision, mission and core values of the Missouri State Highway Patrol were reflected through this patrolman," he said. After a moving video that featured photos of Graham throughout his life, the patrolman received a final tribute as a seemingly endless processional of police and patrol cars filed out -- cruiser lights flashing -- under a huge American flag suspended near the church above Mulberry Street. Burial followed at Stanfield Cemetery in Clarkton. As Graham's family and friends struggled to say good-bye Thursday, a "person of interest" in his murder remained in jail after being arrested Wednesday in Van Buren. Investigators have said they will continue the investigation. Graham's survivors include his son, Hayden of West Plains; stepbrother, Robert of Dexter; father and stepmother, Carl and Beverly of Dexter; mother, Donna of Gideon; grandparents, Virgie of Dudley and Ernie and Sue of Gideon; and fianc/, Cathy. Ponder's closing comments, which were broken with sobs, expressed what many other friends and family were likely feeling. "To say I'll miss Dewayne is an understatement," he said. "But I'll miss him terribly. God bless you, Dewayne. You're our hero."  

April 24, 2005

This is too sad for words. So many
hearts were broken the morning you
were taken. I'm thankful they captured your murderer. Good police
work!!!! My heart goes out to all those
who are grieving your absence.
John 3:16
Lynn Kole
Washington State

April 24, 2005

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Trooper
Minnesota State Patrol

April 18, 2005

REST IN PEACE FELLOW TROOPER....MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

TROOPER J.R. FLEMING
NC STATE HIGHWAY PATROL

April 16, 2005

Rest in peace Brother and thanks for your service, I pray for you and your family and to the suspect I hope he fries

Police Officer E.J. Kavanagh
Virginia Beach Police Department

April 15, 2005

Our condolences, thoughts and prayers are with all who grieve for the loss of this brave soul. May God bless you all and his soul rest in peace.

Chief of Police Charles R. Orth
Larned, Kansas Police Department

April 14, 2005

Rest easy Trooper. Those like you that lived a life dedicated to the good fight will not be forgotten. We who remain will see to that.

Lieutenant T.J.B.
Cherokee County Sheriffs Ofc. (GA)

April 14, 2005

On behalf of the men and women of the Guam Police Department, our deepest condolences on your loss. Be at peace my brother.

Sergeant II John P. Rabon
Guam Police Department

April 13, 2005

For the man who shot Mr. Graham give
him the death penalty because if we
pay to house feed and store this
murderer many will kill more officers
with no fear whatsoever.

Diego Harmon

Civilian-American
Missouri Citizen

April 12, 2005

My sympathies go out to this officer and his family and fellow officers. I cannot imagine someone planning an ambush of a police officer. I hope this person rots in prison for the rest of his life.

God bless you Officer Graham.

SFC William L. Farrell
US Army Military Police Ret.

April 12, 2005

To the Family of Sergeant Carl Dewayne Graham:

I grew up in a house FULL of law enforcement officers of all ranks and departments.

THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

As a child I never knew why adults worried so when someone was late always at the edge of their seats.
When I became older I discovered the reasons why we sit on the edge of our seats.
No matter the family member, no matter the department I know why we cautiously sit on the edge of my seat.
One day it came my turn to walk out the door, proud with the colors of my big, leaving others to wait on the edge of their seat.
Day after day, we all take our turns sitting vigil, waiting on their safe return on the edge of our seats.
One awful day came, while sitting on the edge of my seat.
I waited and waited, looked and looked, then the phone rang and rang, I couldn’t leave the edge of my seat.
Tears flowed, palms began to sweat I look across the room at others on the edge of their seats.
All the same expressions, all the same look of grief all knowing we must leave the edge of our seats.
I remember falling from the edge of my seat.
Tired, worn, lost and bereft with pain, I rested my head of the edge of my seat.
When all was quite and all had left a soft voice said to my heart, “Go on walk out that door. I die with honor as I lived, I can see you from here and all is well… I’ll be waiting for you on the edge of my seat.”

I wrote this after the loss of my brother (killed by a drunken driver, later my retired brother passed after a long battle with cancer, then a very dear and close friend loved as family gave his life, shot in the line of duty.) Please remember that they are there watching and waiting on us.

I have never felt so moved to give this to anyone but after your loss and circumstance I hope you all the best and may God be with you. You are all part of an enormous family.

Shari
retired

April 12, 2005

Take care, Sarge! Hopefully, we'll all meet you in briefing up there some day. Our hearts go out to you and yours!

Sgt. Jim McCord
Douglas County Sheriff's Office

April 11, 2005

I'm a son of a Missouri State Highway Patolman. My father started his career with the Patrol in 1939. I'm very up set that some gut less individual would be so low to kill a man & officer in that fashion. I would gladly play the role of the executioner in this situation. Gail L. Amos

Gail L. Amos

April 9, 2005

Sgt. Graham,
We never met, and I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but know you and your family are in my prayers and I am part of the next generation that can't wait to make sure your legacy never dies. Drive on Troop, God speed.

KY Trooper Hopeful

April 8, 2005

May God bless and watch over the family of SGT. Graham. The black bands we wear around our badges and our flags at half mast show our mourning of a lost brother in law enforcement.

COI W. Rhoades
Missouri Department of Corrections

April 7, 2005

God Speed Troop, we've got it from here

Trooper
Colorado State Patrol

April 7, 2005

Dear Dewayne,
I miss you so much. I have so many great memories or you and all of us together. You will forever be in my heart. There is never going to be a day that I won;t think about you or miss you. I will keep our memories so close to my heart. Don't worry about catching these people that did this to you...we will never give up on finding them. I miss you so much...but I know you're in a much better place. I loved you and I always will.

Holly
Ellsinore, MO

April 6, 2005

To the family of Sgt. Graham,

There are not any words that will bring peace to you. Nor any justice that will ease your pain. Do know that my thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of sorrow.

Matt. 5:7 Blessed are the peacekeepers, they are the children of God.

Trooper J.T.H
Virginia State Police

April 6, 2005

Sgt. Graham served his state proudly and will be missed by all of his fellow officers and friends. He will never be forgotten nor will his good deeds. May god bless him and his family.

Chief Ferrell J. Stewart
Cooter, MO Police Department

April 5, 2005

The way you were taken was horrific in its invasion of your own sanctuary. All of my thoughts go out to the family and LEO brothers and sisters of Carl....God keep you safe.

Cst. J. Howe
Niagara Regional Police

April 3, 2005

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you, your family, and fellow Troopers. Rest in peace, Sir. You will be missed.

Patrolman Joshua Adams
NEW MEXICO STATE POLICE

April 3, 2005

You go home every day and your duty is done, only to have your life taken in your front yard. If you were on a traffic stop it is part of the job, but please, let us be when we are in our own front yard. God Speed Sgt. Carl Dewayne Graham and may God bless your family.

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, 3because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

2 Corinthians 5 1-4

CPL Paul Ehrler M.S.C.J.
Pine Knoll Shores, NC

April 3, 2005

I remember you as a young boy, playing with my daughter, in Poplar Bluff, many years ago. You and your mother, lived near my sister. They were good friends. Eventually, we moved to Van Buren, a small town,(population 847) on beautiful Current river. My sister stayed in touch with your mother, and over the years, you grew into a handsome young man. A few years ago, my sister asked me if I'd seen you in Van Buren, as you were working as a Highway Patrolman. I told her I hadn't, but if I did, I'd sure say hello. One day as I stopped for gas, I noticed a man in blue and checked out his name tag. It was Dewayne Graham. He was smiling and talking to the cashier. I turned to him and said "Aren't you Donna's son?" He smiled that friendly smile and said "Yes mam, I sure am." I said "Do you remember Kathy?" "I certainly do",he replied. "Well, she is my sister and she told me you were working here and if I saw you to say hello. I haven't seen you in a long time;You've grown up! Good to have you here in our community" I said. Little did I know his life would end just a short ways from where I live. He was a friendly fellow,always smiling and would help anyone in need. He did his job and was good at it. It was his life long dream;to serve and protect. The citizens in our small town cared deeply for Dewayne. He will be missed by everyone. Such a sad day it was,when I learned of his death. My sympathy goes out to his family and especially his mother and Hayden. He was a good father and son. A giving person,in his community. The people in Van Buren will miss him;his jokes,his smile and the wave you got, when he passed you on the road. We have sufferd a great loss. God Bless you, Dewayne. You will NEVER be forgotten.

A neighbor in Van Buren

April 3, 2005

To the Graham Family,and The Missouri State Highway Patrol. I want to send my heart felt and deepest sympathy to your family and agency. I can honestly say,I know how your feeling. I have lost personal friends in the line of duty and it is without question the most agonizing thing that your family and agency will ever experince. I belive that there is never any right thing to say to ease the pain your feeling. I will however give you something to reflect upon. We will a grieve Sargeant Grahams passing for many days and years to come but his Honer and

Sergeant Michael R. Howland
Oregon State Police

April 2, 2005

Stressful situations and trying times are some of the realities of life. When you experience them, you may think they'll never leave. But even the most difficult times come and go, and the strength you need to meet the situation will be there for you in the helping hand of a friend, in the compassion of a loved one who cares, and in the listening ear of someone who knows what you're going thuough. All you have to do is look up and reach out, to share your troubles. God Bless, The Missouri State Highway Patrol!!!

A Sister behind the Wall
California Department of Corrections

April 2, 2005