Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey Chrissy ~

Can you believe it's 2007?!?!?! I really can't. Time just marches on way too fast, way too fast. I read the lyrics to "Broken", then I downloaded the song and you are so right - it's about us. We are broken. But I believe that "better days are going to find us again" - better days will find me and they will find you. Just hang in there, Chrissy. Don't give up hope.

It's so hard to predict when we are going to have bad days or bad moments.....a song on the radio, a picture, something the kids say, a sudden memory.....anything can bring that wave crashing down and when it does it's like the ground under your feet is sand, washing away with the wave and we can't stand back up. The pain and grief just washes over you, opening up all the wounds and you feel like you are back in 2005 - reliving the day your world changed forever. I know, girl. It happens to me, too.

But eventually the wave recedes and you can stand back up. And hopefully, eventually, the waves will stop coming (or at least will come much less often). It can't go on like this forever, Chrissy, it just can't. Things will get better - they have to. We can rebuild our lives, it will just take time.

Alex ~ I love your motto, honey, and you keep saying that to yourself every morning. It's a great way to live your life, to appreciate the people you love and to recognize them every day, and it will only help to make you feel better and to make your life better. You are a wise girl, way beyond your years. Happy New Year sweetie - I hope 2007 brings you lots of good things.....peace and hope, renewed faith, new beginnings and a lot of love. For you and for your whole family, too.

Happy New Year, Henley's. You all take care and I'll talk to you soon.

Much love ~
Carin

January 1, 2007

Heard this song.... can't help but think of you.

"I can almost feel you smiling
From beyond those silver skies
As you watch me finding my way
Here without you in my life

No one knows but you
How I feel inside
No one knows
No one knows but you

I've come so close to believing
All the echoes in the wind
Brushing my hair off my shoulders
I feel you there once again

No one knows but you
How I feel inside
No one knows
No one knows but you

And if there is some magic
Some way around these stars
Some road that I can travel
To get to where you are
I'll cry this empty canyon
An ocean full of tears
And I won't stop believing
That your love is always near

No one knows but you
How I feel inside
No one knows
No one knows but you"

I love you and miss you dearly. It's been two years since we spoke last, and I can still hear your sweet voice. It just doesn't seem real that you are gone.

I love you.

Baby Sis

December 29, 2006

Did I tell you that I love you today? no, well, I love you today....and everyday...forever and always baby...Do you really know how much I miss you? Do you really know how much I love you? It still feels like only yestereday when I last saw you and yet it will 2 years before we know it...The kids won't watch "The Incredibles"....they miss you and love you too...we really miss Skyler and Austin too....I hope they are healing....we love them very much....and I know they miss and love you too...I love you very much...I miss you....always, me

December 29, 2006

so this is what sent me into a tail spin last night....can't explain it...but sometimes the it feels like it just happened....the tears just pour down... I miss you Drew...I miss you all the time...always and forever baby.. me

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Heaven knows that getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

December 28, 2006

Happy Holidays Drew.......thought of you so much as I do daily! It is just still hard to believe. Although I may not be in Virginia anymore, you and the rest of the guys are in my everyday thoughts. Miss you Drew, miss Chrissy, Liz, and the kids. I pray for them to be safe! Love you guys!

Carin, Happy Holidays.....I know this time of year are just a little more difficult than any other day. My thoughts are with you and your family as well, please be safe!

Officer J.M. Lane
McKinney Texas PD former Suffolk Virginia PD

December 26, 2006

some people live by a modo or as i call it a jump start.something they say to themselves that gets them stated in the morning or when they feel like they cant go on.. well i have a little jump start and i feel like letting you know what i say when i feel upset well here it is.......everyday is a new gift from god so open it with joy and cherish every second of your life forever an ever and on untill that one day when your hope seems lost and your faith feels like it no longer exists remember who ment most to you and remember that time is the most precious thing we have so live laugh and cherish memories so they can never be forgotten.....dont tell anyone you hate them cause in a blink of an eye there life could dissapear.....so go out there in this cruel little world and put your arms around the people you love and would hate to see them go . i would like to thank my friends allison,ashlyn,carline,victoria y.,mallory,donna,cailey,STEVEN,it could go on and on and on but i think id be sitting here typing for hours so make sure you reconize the people you love and make sure they know it,ive only had a boyfriend for 3 weeks and hes shown me how much he cares and how much he loves me.. if your polite sweet kind giving loving appreciative and fair you'll survive in life do your part and if other people do the same eventully the world would be a happier place, every officer every person who is in my life right now i hold them in my heart and i think of them everyday i am thank full for them and i love you all very much you all are always in my prayers--remember,have fun,laugh,love and cherish moments so that they will never be forgotten...**********live your life*******

alex
daughter

December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas my love....boy do I wish you were here...I keep remembering things we did at this time of year...the way you made it more special....yesterday we were at CrackerBarrel for breakfast playing with those puzzles... we are all "purty darn dumb"...I told everyone how you used to do it to one peg everytime... smarty pants!!! I love you and miss you...well, Santa was here last night, so I better go get to the kids so they can open the presents...All my love, Always, me....PS you are the best ever!!!!!!!!

December 25, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS DREW !!!!!!!!!!!!

December 24, 2006

Dear Chrissy, Alex and CJ ~

I am thinking of you all today, like everyday, and am hoping you are having a nice few days away. You definetly need an escape from your lives and a lot of rest and relaxation. Have a great time and try not to think about the events of the past 21 months.

I hope you all have a warm and blessed Christmas. And I pray the New Year brings you hope, renewed faith and new beginnings.

Much love ~
Carin

December 23, 2006

My thoughts are with your loved ones during the holiday season. I have decorated the outside of my home in blue lights. One of those lights will be lit every night in your honor until New Years as my way of saying you are a hero and have not been forgotten. Continue to keep watch over your loved ones.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

December 19, 2006

Dear Sweet Alex ~

Your reflection to Drew is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever read.

He was your real dad, honey. He may not have been the man who created you, but that doesn't really matter. He was the man who loved you, who cared for you, who listened to you and who made you feel special. Those are the things that make a "real" dad. And you deserved every bit of his attention and every ounce of his love.

He will always be with you, Alex. He will be watching over you in everything you do. He is your guardian angel now and he will continue to love and care for you.

I can't begin to understand why he was taken away from you and your family - it's so unfair and so wrong. But I am so glad that you had him for the time that you did, that you were able to have that kind of love and support even if only for a little while.

You are such a sweet girl and I'm so sorry that your heart hurts the way it does.

You have a good Christmas, honey. I'll be thinking of you and your family and will call your mom this week.

Love, Carin

December 16, 2006

In everyone’s life there is always a person who you favor or care most about. No matter if its friends or family. In my life my step dad, drew, was the most important person to me. He was there for me when I needed him or when I was sad. He picked me up from school when I wanted him to and he took good care of me. I could tell him anything.

My step dad, drew, was my hero and the most wonderful gift I had. When I would have my bad days or when I needed to cry he was there for me whenever I needed that little push to know that every thing would be okay he gave it to me. He made my life worth living. When I had a bad day at school or when I got in a fight with my friends he helped me me work things out so we could move on in life. He would sooth me with his voice as patient as smelling a warm vanilla candle on a cool winter night. He always was there for me and told me everything will be alright, and it always turned out to be okay.

My step dad was very important to me. Not that he isn’t anymore but he past away in March of 2005. But when I had band concerts or chorus rehearsals he came to every event sat among all the other parents in the audience, smiled, waved, laughed and clapped for me like any parent would do but the way he did it and for me was the sweetest thing ,he did it so perfectly. If I wanted him to help me with homework or play on the computer he would be there helping me do it. He was always there for me and that’s why he was very important to me.

Having someone in your life to tell your every wish and every desire is pretty amazing. Having someone you can talk to is a very good feeling to know that, that person will always be there for you. Well I could tell my step dad anything. The one most respectful thing he did has he responded with a question or a comment he didn’t just sit there and say “ok”. I cared about my step dad so much. I loved how I could tell him stuff knowing that he would always be there for me. He was a very important part of my life.

Therefore, I am very thankful that I had a step dad that cared for me, was always there for me when I needed him and who loved me like I was his own real daughter. I loved the fact of how I could tell my dad anything and he would respond like he was interested and to show that he really cared. He’s always in my prayers and I thank him everyday for being there for me. Those are some of the reasons why my step dad, drew, was the most important thing to me my most precious gift I could have ever gotten.

ALEX
DAUGHTER

December 13, 2006

Hello handsome...I miss you baby....I wish you were here to go to the baseball party tomorrow night...CJ's team came in first!! It was a great season!!! I know he misses you coaching him....I feel good today...the job...the kids...looking forward to the party...things are good right now... I just thought I should write to you and let you know that, instead of all the weepy notes I leave you... lol.. I still miss you like crazy...I still can't believe Christmas is around the corner and you won't be here...just the other day we were talking about the tree...remember? when Jess was there and we had to squeeze that big box in the back of the van with all of us?? and Jess and I were putting the tree up when you left for work...that was a good Christmas...it was great to be with her...who knew it would be our last...I'd give anything to come home from work tomorrow and see all the lights on the house...I wish you were here to do it...it's not the same without you...It's so hard to get in the "spirit"...I'm glad you are still around to watch over us....we love you and miss you will all our hearts....always, me

December 7, 2006

I'm so sorry to hear that you too lost someone so special in the line of duty. I just read the beautiful reflection you left on my brother Thomas's memorial page. Your
husband is a true hero ,never to be forgotten. My brother was also 33. My family is looking foward to meeting with you at Washington D.c. this year. My heart breaks for your children and yourself. Its a very hard thing to have to go through....You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Michele Geer
sister of Officer Thomas Morash E/O/W 10-17-03

November 30, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving my love...I can't believe we are already at our second one without you.. today when the blessing is said, I will say a silent one for you, as I always do....I miss you everyday Drew...I hope you get a nice big plate of turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy up there.. I know it's not the same as mine...but at least you aren't working this one! I love you from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul.. always, me

November 23, 2006

Wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I saw a post of yours on a fallen officer from Fairfax, Vicky Armel. I too was in DC that day, my husband rides in the Police Unity Tour every year. You are living my worst nightmare, and I wish I had the words to comfort you.
The thin blue line is everywhere, and I hope you have found its embrace.

Wife
FcPD/NTPD

November 23, 2006

Chrissy,

Just wanted to Wish you and your Kids a HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

The Holcombs
Connie, Tyler & Trent

November 23, 2006

Chrissy ~ I wanted to wish you a Happy Thankgiving. The beginning of another very long holiday season without Jesse and Drew.....but I am so thankful that we have found each other. Hug CJ and Alex extra tight, eat lots of turkey, remember the wonderful love you and Drew shared and I will talk to you soon. Love you ~ Carin

November 23, 2006

Well another month has just flown by...it's still amazing to me how much time has passed....20 months...I remember when Alex was 20 months old...I thought it would take forever to get to the day when she would become a teenager...now I am looking it in right in the eye, literally...she has gotten so tall...I know they miss you as much as I do...I am making plans for the future...to see the guys..to see you.. and the boys...I miss them terribly...Alex and CJ miss them too! Drew, I love you coming to my rescue, if only in my dreams...it sure is nice to see you again...I love you..forever...always,me

November 20, 2006

Hey there Drew.....just thought I would drop a line again! I miss you Drew, miss hearing that "go ahead" on charles. Definetly 100% reliable you are! I know you are watching over us. I am glad that you are around us at all times! I have been looking over old stuff and viewing the memorial online......just sitting here in tears!

Chrissy and Liz, as always.......I miss and love you! Please be safe and I hope to see you two soon!

Alex, take care of your mommy. I think of you kids often. Please be safe and also take care of CJ. Bye for now.

Officer J.M. Lane
McKinney Texas PD former Suffolk Virginia PD

November 17, 2006

Chrissy ~ It's always so great to talk to you. I am so glad Jesse and Drew brought us together - I'm so glad I'm not in this alone. You take care and we'll talk again soon. Love you lots ~ Carin

November 15, 2006

Chrissy, Thanks for the note,It has been a really tough 5 weeks. I don't think it will ever get better.I miss Dale so much, the boys miss him so much. And to think the holidays are coming.. I just don't know what the holidays will bring.Our boys are 15 & 17 the youngest gets his permit to drive Nov.18th. That was his Dads job to teach him to drive. The oldest one wants to go deer hunting, I don't know nothing about hunting !! I sometimes think I'm going crazy. Well thanks again for writing, I read your letters and Carin's letters just about everyday. Write again.
Connie Holcomb
Sgt. Holcomb E.O.W Sept.28, 2006

November 13, 2006

Thanks for your strength baby....I really need it...and thanks for the warning...I heard you....you were right to be afraid...you were always right..ok maybe not always...but a lot of the time...I miss you like crazy... I got to talk to a couple of the guys today...it was great to hear their voices...I think they miss you as much as I do...I KNOW they love you as much as I do...hehe...thanks for leaving me in good hands...love you and miss every minute of every day...always, me

November 11, 2006

Drew,
You were great to work with and its so sad you had to leave so soon. Thanks for being such a great mentor and friend you will always be missed. Look after Chrissy, Alex and CJ...really miss those guys being around, but know its gotta be a lot easier for them in Florida. John Lane..miss ya and #1 too. Chrissy...your the best you wild woman!

November 9, 2006

Next weekend is the Asheville Christmas Parade. It will be two years since the last time I saw your smiling face last. I will never forget topping the hill when you were there and seeing you, Chrissy, CJ and Mom smiling at me as I danced by. Mom holding that silly sign and you with that classic grin on your face. I loved having you there. I miss you so very very much. There is not a day that passes that you aren't in my mind. I love you Drew. I wish this wasn't so. I wish you were back with us and life was as we knew it. Granddaddy is having a ruff time of it... so put in a good word for him, would ya? I love you so much and miss you with all that I am.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Baby Sis

November 8, 2006