Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

To the Henley Family,
I wanted to leave a few words in Honor of Officer Henley to say we are very sorry for your loss. I saw your husbands name on Officer Michael Gordon's page. I like you have been inspired by Mr.Gordon with the lights. We have always put up a red,white and blue tree for our son for the last seven years and it never came to my thoughts to Honor others with his lights until Mr.Gordon. From now on it will not be just in Honor of our Brian, but to your husband as well as ALL Officers and Soldiers who have given their VERY BEST their LIFE IN THE LINE OF DUTY. I know there are no words that can take your pain away just know that Officer Henley will never be forgotten! Our family will keep you and your family in our prayers. We pray that you and your family will feel Officer Henley's spirit and love all around you in a special way this Christmas season. May God continue to give you the strength and hold you up on those extra hard day's. Officer Henley thank you for your great service to us all.

Merry Christmas Officer Henley! John 14:27

Tammy Persin
Mother of Fallen Military Police Officer
Pfc Brian Thomas Gleason 8/9/2000

December 21, 2007

My thoughts are with all of your loved ones as Christmas fast approaches. I know on that day you will be in their thoughs, even more than on other days and thats because of the love and past memories of Christmas' past that they will ponder. You will never be forgotten by those that love you. I have decorated the outside of my home in all blue lights again this year, one of those lights is lit every night in your honor to let you and those that love you know that you are a true hero and have not been forgotten. Continue to keep watch over all of you loved ones and protect them from harm.

Bob Gordon
Father of Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

December 18, 2007

Today is a new day...I have spent the past hour reading through all of the reflections from the first year...It was very sad for me to re-read what all of Drew's friends and family wrote to him, but it occurred to me, that there should be some healing going on...It should not continue to be a place of only sadness...In a way I got caught up in this page...only pouring out my sadness...not sharing the joy. So today I will begin to anew...

Drew, you are/were an amazing man. We will always miss your smile, your laugh...We know that you are here with us everyday...We are growing stronger...It's so hard to explain, but the days are better and better...the pain is still in our hearts, but we are surviving. We laugh...We smile...We play....We love...all the things we need to do in order to go on...I am so very proud to be your wife...that will never change...In March when we mark the 3rd anniversary of your EOW, we will celebrate that we had you for the time we did...we will laugh about all the crazy things you did!! We will honor you forever with the naming of the street. From that moment forward, all new Rookies will come to headquarters on Henley Place. And hopefully Jen or whoever is recruiting will tell them.."you see those signs? He was a true Hero...inspiration! That is your goal, to be like Henley"...I want to travel back to Suffolk in 20 years, and still here the officers talk about you..."hey, remember Henley? Now that was a great officer!" Your legacy will live on forever. Each time someone in the police dpt has to have something mailed to them they will give out your name as the address. And each time they will pause and remember you. Each time they say it they will know that they speak the name of one of the best. It's a name I carry with pride everyday of my life.

One of the best things in life is time...they say time heals all wounds, but I think time is just a bandaid...as time goes by you take the bandaid off less and less...it's been almost 3 years and the wound still hurts...it has not healed...but some days it is easier to bear...I guess it's like an amputation...sure it may not hurt physically all the time...but each time you look at that wound you are reminded of the pain that will never escape you. But time has a way of easing that pain. I will always miss my best friend, but time lets me know that he is not really very far from me. As time passes, we realize how precious it is and that we must enjoy every minute we have with one another. We also see how quickly time flies by...hard to believe it's been almost 3 years already. I never imagined I would make it through the first 3 weeks, much less years. Yet here I am. Alive. Surviving. The sadness has taken way to much of my time. I want to move on to a happy place. Not just for me but for my kids...how can they be happy if I am not. How can they have a full life if I don't show them how to rejoice in the good and let the bad go. So I am going to focus on the positive again. Drew loved being a police officer. He loved the amazing people he worked with. He loved helping people everywhere he went. He loved me. He loved his kids...all of them!!! We learned so much about ourselves through his love. He made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. His love was pure and genuine. The man you all met...that was real...that was true. He was the greatest father. He was firm...but loving...and helpful. He taught the kids to ride their bikes without training wheels. He would run up and down the street holding the back of the seat for hours. Of course they would look back to see if he was still there and that's when they would fall!! But he was always there. He was a brother. He loved his family so very much. He was a mama's boy for sure! He would have done anything for them...anything at all. He always looked forward to "going home"....and in the end, that is where he went...Home.

Each day, I am thankful for the life I have. The healthy, happy children I have. The roof over our heads. The food in our belly's. We have so much to be thankful for. We are thankful for having Drew. We are thankful for our awesome friends/family...you guys are so amazing!!

I hope that you all have changed your way of thinking since Drew's passing. I hope that you tell the people you love everyday that you love them. I hope that you take that extra moment to show someone how much they mean to you. Be kind to others. Help those in need. That's what Drew would have done :)

One final note...please keep Erin and baby Virginia in your prayers. Now there is a strong woman! I know that God is watching over your precious angel Erin...and before you know it she will be starting kindergarten and you will cry and think "where did the time go?" Much love from me to you.

I love you Drew!! I'll be with you eventually and we can pick up where we left off ok?

Love always,
your wife....me

December 16, 2007

When will I stop feeling broken? when will the pieces of my heart be returned to me so I can be whole again? When will it stop hurting? When will I stop feeling so empty inside? I go through the days...one by one...each day I think of you...so many things bring you to my mind...sometimes the simplest things can remind me of you...a silly joke...or seeing a couple holding hands...then there are the big ones...trying so hard to get in the spirit for Christmas...you always loved it...you did the lights on the house...remember that last Christmas...I wish you would come back and surprise me again!! You were the best man I have ever known...I don't want to go through another holiday without you...but I have no choice...you are gone...forever...and I am here ...alone...for now I have the kids...but where does it leave me when they grow up and move on...here with your pictures...your plaques...your t shirts??? I hate to be sad...I want so much to feel happy...to feel peace...I know someday it will happen...I just have to let my heart heal...I just really miss your smile baby...everyday gets a little better...everyday I feel a little stronger...each day I move forward...for you...so you won't have to see me so unhappy...you always hated that...you always tried to make me happy...and you did...you always made me laugh, even if I was laughing at you...LOL...you know what I mean....it's funny how some days I could just scream!! and then there are days that I am ok....I love you with all my heart my love...I'll love you forever...until we meet again...wait for me my love...i love you ...always, me

November 30, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving my love!!

This was always your favorite holiday. I think it was the food!! You were always thankful for the life we had...so was I...we have to stop for a moment and remember all the things we have to be thankful for.

Most of the things I am thankful for, you gave to me....the friends...the memories...the love...each day we struggle to make sense of the things that happen to us...not just me...the kids too...Today we must focus on the positives...Today we are thankful for you...your love...I know in my heart that no one will ever love me the way you did...the way you love your kids...we are thankful for your smile...your grin goes from ear to ear...your smile can brighten a room...your smile can make me fall in love with you all over again...we are thankful for your laugh...the laugh heard round the world :) when you laugh, it comes from deep inside, no holding back...we are thankful for your strength...the strength you have given us...strength to go on...to laugh again...to smile again...you are still with us everyday

Today we are thankful for our friends and family...there are so many people that I am thankful to have in my life...The ones who are there for me and the kids...the ones who continue to keep us in their thoughts and prayers each and everyday...the ones who love you like I do...still...the ones who are forever joined to me because of you...today we are thankful for them

Yesterday I saw the sun beams shining down between the clouds...it was so amazing...it's in the moments that I feel you near...in those moments that I feel peace...I love you so much baby...I will always love you and look for you everywhere I go

Happy Thanksgiving....I hope you have a great feast in Heaven with Sunny!! Let him have some good food will ya!!

All my love, always, me

PS could you please give Alex a little extra...she needs you so much right now...thanks...I love you xoxoxoxoxo

November 22, 2007

Hey there big brother.

Today... not easy. The annual Asheville Christmas Parade. It was totally crazy. Trying to get the music to work at the last minute, a new line-up and no one knew where to go, Matt was at a football game and Scott working adding to the stress... and on top of all the craziness... the memories of three years ago just hanging over my head. That was the last time I saw you. The weekend of the Asheville Parade three years ago. I just can't shake it. It just haunts me the entire time. When I get to Pack Square where you stood with mom, Chrissy and CJ, I have to focus on anything and everything to keep from looking for you in the crowds. I miss you like crazy.

Henley Place. Can you freaking believe that?? Those Suffolk people can be pretty darn wonderful, can't they? Forever and always you will be remembered. What a mark you left on this world. I can only hope to follow in those footsteps.

I love you Drew. I love you so very much. Not a day goes by that you don't run through my mind. I can only hope you knew just how much you mean to me... because I know I didn't tell you near enough.

I love you forever.


OH YEAH... THANKS SUFFOLK! Thank you for keeping my dearest brother alive. He loved you all so very much, and I can't tell you what it means to me and my family that you would go to the lengths of having a street named for him. There aren't near enough people like you in this world. I'm glad Drew found you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all.

Liz
Baby Sis

November 17, 2007

To my wonderful family (in blue)...I can't tell you what it means to me to have a street named after Drew...John, you started this project...it was your vision...I can never thank you enough...Josh, you saw it through to the end...I thank you for your passion...you guys are just two of a very large group of people who love and admire Drew...He never saw in himself what we all see in him...How fitting it will be to have police headquarters on Henley Place...it was, after all, his place...He loved going to work...He loved being a police officer...it was his dream since he was a young boy, and I was so proud to be there with him when he realized it...but it was you guys...all of you...who made the dream a dream and not a nightmare...first for Drew...and then for me....he took in what each one of you had to offer...he learned as much as he could...never realizing the lessons he was teaching...he admired so many of you...and after he was gone, it was you who stood up and told the many stories of how he had inspired you...it made me even more proud to be his wife...I already knew the man he was, but to hear so many stories from all of you...that was incredible...so from me to you, thank you for Henley Place...the place where will Drew will be forever...and forever remembered

much love always, Chrissy

November 16, 2007

And now we'll have a Henley Place. :)

Disp. Christina Gardner
Suffolk PD

November 13, 2007

Remembering you on Veterans Day, I salute you for your service to your Country.

Bob Gordon
Father of Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

November 11, 2007

Drew,

Thought about you and Chrissy today along with all the men and women that have made the ultimate sacrifice. I personally wanted to thank you for your service to our country and our department. Your presence is felt by all the men and women serving our community today. Rest in peace my brethren till we meet again.

Lt. J.H. Meston
Suffolk Police Department

November 2, 2007

This is for Austin and Skyler...

Austin...I was so glad to see your reflections for Daddy...mostly because I was glad to see that you know that he is your Daddy and that you are his son...always...he loves you so very much...I'm sorry that you weren't able to spend more time together the last couple of years...he missed you more than you can ever know during those days.

Skyler...I know that Daddy is very proud of you and the young man you are becoming...No one will ever love you more than your Dad! Keep being you...you are amazing! I am so proud of you Skyler. You are smart and strong and kind and loving...just like your Dad!

For both of you...no matter what someone may tell you, I love you both with all my heart...I miss you everyday!! I look forward to the day when we can spend some time together...No matter how much time passes, I will never stop loving you both...you are as much my kids as Alex and CJ are...and they miss you guys so much too!! I pray for you all the time...I pray that you will be happy and healthy...and I pray that you will know in your heart that I love you...that Alex and CJ love you...That Aunt Liz, Uncle Matt, Nana, Jeff & Leslie, and all of the people who know you, love you both...everyone in VA still ask about you guys...it's nice for them to see you in DC and see how you have grown!!

I love you both so very much!!!!

All of my love, Always!!
Chrissy

October 30, 2007

Hey baby...I just wanted to thank you again for bringing such good people into my life...John, John, Josh...I know you know it already, but they miss you so much...you are an inspiration to so many...Jeff and Leslie...I don't know what I would do without Jeff and Leslie...It's been 7 years now since you introduced me to them...it was just this past weekend 7 years ago when we first went to VA together to look for our new home...and we stayed with them...do you remember? We went to Golden Corral to eat and all the wait staff was in costume for Halloween and one of you...probably you...told them it was my birthday.....I just loved having a clown sing to me...LOL...who knew we would become best friends, Les and I...still talking everyday! We love to laugh about the morning you pulled her over after she had dropped off Kristin at school...lol...the guys said they're going to keep an eye out for her and pull her too!! SHHHH don't tell her!! You were a one of a kind Drew...irreplaceable!! You had the purest heart...so full of love...for me for the kids...we miss it everyday...I wish I could feel you holding me when I lay in bed...I feel you, but it's only in my mind...Drew, I want you to know that I am ok...no matter what happens...no matter what people try to say or do...I will be just fine...because I have your love in my heart forever...I have your smile in my heart...I have your laugh in my heart...I have your words in my heart...forever and ever...when you find your one true love, not even death can take that away...I still believe it! You and I are invincible together....and if it takes a lifetime, I will be with you again...laughing...loving...and probably evening crying!! Everyone says that time doesn't exist in Heaven, so when I get there it will feel like no time has passed since the last time I saw you...I hope they are right...cause right now it seems like an eternity since I saw you...I can still remember every minute of that night...just before you left...the hugs...the kisses...back for more kisses :) you telling Alex it was ok to come in mommy's room now..LOL...and the last words I ever heard you say "I love you...I'll see you in the morning"...I love you too baby...I love you so much...we all do...the kids...your friends...everyone loves you so much baby...I can't wait until you hold me in your arms again...we'll be together forever in Heaven ....you and me...forever...I love you baby...I love you Shrek!!! always, me

October 30, 2007

Hey baby...well I made it...the big 40!! I thought about you a million times this weekend...I wish you had been here...we had a lot of fun :) I miss you so damn much....sometimes I wish that would go away...then it wouldn't hurt so bad...argh!! but I still miss you everyday...I love you baby...hope you still love me now that I am really old!! xoxoxo....love you always...me

October 29, 2007

hey dady, its austin gerry's house is great we are having a very good time ..

Love u dad Austin

austin
son!!!!!!!!!!!

October 28, 2007

hey daddy we are down in North Carolina at gerry's retirement party were all thinking about you srry about sunny.

austin
son!!!!!!!!!!!

October 28, 2007

Carin, just remember that you are strong and right now the kids need you, don't worry about being alone, your never alone, you have two of the most beautiful children! Give yourself time to heal wholly and completely so when its time for you to fall in-love again you can wholly and completely and not just to have someone there. You need to heal first. You have so much pain and anger right now and in order to love again that has to come to pass, otherwise
that will be what is front and center for your new relationship. Don't worry it will happen again for you but right now the time is for you and the children to continue
to heal.

October 20, 2007

Hey Chrissy ~

I read your last reflection to Drew and it made me cry.....I do that all the time, look at other families and think "that should be us". Or at the kids soccer games, I'll look at the dads who are coaching and think "that should be Jesse".....it happens all the time, almost everyday, everywhere we go....I'll see a man with his kids or a family all together and that ache in my heart (that is there all the time) gets just a bit stronger. I took the kids to the beach this summer for the first time since Jesse died and it was really, really tough for me - everywhere I looked it was families, dads playing in the sand with their kids, and I look at Savannah and Jacob and my heart just breaks for them that they don't have their daddy. I felt so resentful by the end of the week - having to go through that whole week without him, I was physically and emotionally drained by the time we got home.

You know what, Chrissy, there has to be more in store for us. There just has to be. We are young (well, I'm younger than you but you are still young. ha ha) and this can't be the end of the story. I think about it all the time and pray about it and I just can't believe that I'm meant to be alone for the rest of my life, that there isn't someone else out there for me. Or for you, too. We just have to find a way to wait and let life unfold and trust that someone else will find his way to us.

We need to talk, girl - man I wish we lived closer. I'll give you a call sometime this weekend. You take care and keep hanging in there.

Love you lots and lots.
Carin

October 18, 2007

Hey Drew, it has been awhile since I have written........I am sorry. It is not because I haven't been thinking of you because I do all the time. I wish I could go back to when we were riding together and you were running stop signs. No.....I wasn't asleep, I was watching you. LOL! Miss you my friend, I miss Chrissy and the kids, I miss Liz and love them all. I cannot wait to be able to see them again. I want to introduce them to Michael "Andrew" and Matthew! I promise you Drew, I will never forget....NEVER! Thank you for watching over us all. Until next time my friend!

Officer John Lane
McKinney TX PD, prior Suffolk VA PD

October 18, 2007

Hey Baby...it's funny how things happen...you hit that moment when it's all falling apart, and then something happens to bring you out...if that isn't God then I don't know what it is...

so there I was...sitting in Wendy's with CJ...just like so many times before...at the next table sat a man with his two daughters enjoying their frosties...a scene I have seen so many times and thought of you...but this time I actually watched them...I looked at the man...my age I would guess (young...lol)...then I looked at his clothes...tshirt...kaki shorts...boat shoes..."that could be Drew"...and there I was in Wendy's crying...feeling so badly...so alone...knowing that it not only could have been you that it SHOULD have been you...sitting eating frosties with the kids...CJ just kept looking at me funny...I tried really hard not to cry...but his sweet face made it so much harder to hold them in...

so we got out of there...had to run a couple more errands...finally got home at almost six...we were standing there talking to Alex's friend and her mother when a car pulled up..."looks like your getting flowers" her friends mother said..."not me"...I thought I was sure they weren't for me..."these are for Chrissy" the woman said...OMG...that's me...so here are these beautiful Sunflowers...from Chris and Casey (and Caitlyn)...it was so sweet and thoughtful!! and couldn't have come at a better time...

It's funny how things work out...I still miss you everyday, but everyday I am reminded of how blessed I am...how blessed I was to have you in our lives, even though our time was way too short...you have left me with so much...thanks for being you...xoxoxoxo

oh...and Alex and I were laying in bed talking last night...she was going on about how "if Drew were here"...lol..."I wouldn't be able to wear makeup or go to IceZone"...she was so right!!! you would have locked her in the house until she figured out a way to dig a whole under the wall!!!!! But she is a good girl...and smart...very smart...she knows you love her and that you were trying to protect her...it's ok honey...she doesn't even want to wear that much makeup!!! She figured it out on her own...that she doesn't need it!! I wish you were here so she could have her Dad to take care of her...we all wish you were here!!! We love you very much!!

All my love always...me

PS...give Skyler and Austin an extra touch for me...I miss them...haven't talked to them in way too long!!! I hope they call soon :)

October 12, 2007

Today 8-3-07 sunny died.
I swear i felt my heart stop beating. I knew it was comming, it was no surprise. Im a good person i pinky promise you that. So then why am i 12, with no dad, and now no dog. My civics teacher today asked the class if we ever asked why? why does this happen why did he/she have to go. She said raise your hands if anyone has asked"why". Everyones hand went up.

I know everyone has problems. Everyone has had bad days. bad nights,bad moments. Then the teacher asked does anyone sometimes feel like they wish they could live life like a movie or they are living life like a movie 4hands went up, mine included.

I do wish life was like a movie. You know, happy ending one ofcourse. Unfortunatley, in my case my "movie" "life" story is still unwritten. Right now there may be some good things around the corner but right now i am, who i am,i have, what i have. Im not going to try and change myself becuase another piece of my heart broke today. Well, its not the first time a piece has shattered.

I believe when you get Deja vu..its something that has happened in your previous life.. I miss you. I really do.

Life isnt easy, but ill have to say i do love my life just some of the chapters have been a little bummpy.. I remember, i would get off the bus with c.j we would walk home and it would be 4 and me and you would watch girlfriends together. I remember standing at the bus stop with you in freezing cold weather and i asked you if cracking my knuckels would make my fingers fall off. you said no who in the world told you that. i said mom.

Just those little conversations mean everything to me.
And those shoes you bought me, i still have, i remember walking through walmart saying i dont care about chocolate i want a bear for valentines day, and that is what you got me. Well i still have that bear ya know.


I pictured life so different when we lived in virginia. I always had a vision of florida before i lived here. You would be on the couch in our florida mansion, and i would go and get c.j of the bus and walk home to our tiled kitchen and help him with our homework. You were wearing sweat pants and a blue shirt. I dreamed that dream everynight, i had that vision everyday, untill that one day is died,... you died=[

Now im in Florida on the computer typing this to you. Mom is on the phone like always and C.j is playing with stuff animals like always. Im scared here. The house is scary. My room is scary. There are always noises the strangest sounds you hear in this house, im awake most of the night. Its hard. But i have friends who i love and who love me.

I miss you, sorry it took so long to write to you,But im always thinking about you.

I know this reflection is a jumbeled up. With different stories flung everywhere, but thats how life is, at least my life, you never know whats comming around the corner or what words your going to be reading in the next Chapter..

alex♥
daughter♥

October 3, 2007

Dear Chrissy ~

I am so sorry to hear about Sunny.

I am glad you were able to be with him when he died, to let him know that it was O.K. to leave you and to go and be with Drew. I'll bet they were happy to see each other!

Take care and know that I'm thinking of you.

Love you
~ Carin

October 3, 2007

Well baby...this was a very sad day for us...watching Sunny struggle to breath all day was all I could stand...but I rubbed his ears as his passed over....I told him to find you, which I know you were waiting there for him....the vet sent him with a tennis ball for you to play with him with... :) Drew, Sunny was the best dog ever, but he hasn't been the same since we lost you...I hope that his ass is wagging all over the place up there...and that he is smiling again...I'm going to miss his smile...and the way he followed us all around the house...and the way he was always under our feet and we would step on him and say "watch out sunny!!" Remember my Dad telling everybody that his name was Sunny-Pillow...LOL...they just don't come any better than him!!! So, I can only hope that now that you have your puppy with you, you are a little bit less lonely...one day we will all be together...I miss you and love you more than you can ever know....take good care of Sunny....and let him have the good food!!! love you baby....always...me

October 3, 2007

Chrissy and kids, know that Drew is waiting for Sunny. Dont be sad, Drew will have a piece of the family
with him until you all are reunited one day. God bless
Sunny!

September 24, 2007

Drew, We miss you and think of you always! Keep an eye out for Chrissy, the kids, and Sunny! love you always, Les

Leslie
friend

September 14, 2007

baby....we just got some really bad news...Sunny has cancer...can you believe it...poor puppy....I know if you were here you would be broken hearted, so I guess it's good he waited till now...soon he will be there with you...I am so glad he will be coming to keep you company...I swear if there was any way that I could send a piece of me to you with him I would, so I'll be sure and give him an extra hug and kiss for you...make sure you are there waiting for him...I don't know how much time we have...I just know that he has been the best dog ever...and that has not stopped missing you!...We all cried today...partly for Sunny and partly for you....it still hurts...we love you and miss you...maybe you could stop by tonight and tell Sunny it's ok and that you are waiting for him...we'll miss him so much baby...love you always...me

September 12, 2007