Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Kathalee - thank you. I will go by HCPD asap. Chuck really meant a lot to me. I have pictures of him everywhere. I know he was special to yall to. I am so sorry he is gone.

Linda Brewer

August 21, 2005

Linda Brewer - I know you are a dear friend of my brothers. I would like for us to get in touch, but don't know how. I have a couple of things for you. I will be meeting with one of the officers from HCPD this week. I will let them know that I left this message... Please go by HCPD and ask for my contact information. Chuck would want us to be in contact.
Sincerely,
Kathalee

Kathalee
Sister

August 21, 2005

My big bro... This week and every week seem to only get worse. Crossing over a 6 month date, well just like so many have shared on this site - is one of the toughest things I have ever had to do... I keep thinking as time passing I will accept, I might even start to understand and forgive and when I think of you only laugh, not cry - but the tears and the pain are unbearable... I spend so much of my day thinking of you, crying, praying, hoping, reaching out, trying to understand, trying to forgive, trying to just cope and the love and pain that I endure is shared by so many I feel selfish to even explain or try to explain my hurt. You are my life - every memory I have in my life has you in it... has you associated with it and I don't want this to be happening - I don't want to spend the rest of my life w/o you - Dad and I were talking about how we are still in denile and that this still feels so unreal and that some days we are just in a daze and sometimes we just break down right in front of people and they don't understand whats going on- The only thing that gives me hope is that one day I will see you again. That song that we played, I can only imagine - nothing against God of course, because you know I love him - but I sure hope it's OK if I hug you first when I get there. I don't know what it will be like, but I sure hope I get to see you and you can just give me that big smile of yours -- that is what I imagine. I miss your girls. We have tried to contact them, but can't. Derrick misses you badly as well. You were such a good friend and brother-inlaw to him. He too has a void in his heart like so many of us. He had Magnets made in your honor. We are still trying to get a website built in your honor as well. But of course some of these things are taking longer than we hoped. The magnets look great. But of course, you know...

Chuck... I love you so much. I am so thankful that I know you knew and know that! I am so thankful that I got to spend 30 years having you as my brother. I would not have traded that time for anything in the world. I wish I could have another 30+ and it is the worst feeling in the world to know that I can't. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I miss you so much. We got the pictures developed finally from the last time we saw you in Feb. You have on that stupid Falcons mask - with your fist up and your Brooking jersy... I will cherish that for the rest of my life. You know I went to Uncle Dick's sons funeral probably a year before yours. I stood there after the service looking at Dick's living daughter and thought such sadness for her loss - But in no way, in no fashion did I think I would ever be in her place. And now 6 months after losing you, I can truly say I know her sadness, I know how she feels. I know you can't compare the loss of a husband or son or father to what I have lost. Because I can't even begin to understand how Mom and Dad are surviving this - because it is killing me. There is not a moment that goes by where I am not trying to adjust in order to cope w/out you. Trying to figure out how I will get over the next minute, hour, day. Mom is so devasted. You are her baby boy and she has lost you. The pain she must feel everyday is unknown to me. But I do know she loves and honors you every day by sharing and talking about you to everyone that will listen. I watched my wedding video the other night and you were so crazy... Dancing with everybody and especially mom... You can hear your laugh and see your beautiful smiling face - it broke my heart to see you, yet it was so great to hear your laugh. It made you seem so alive. So near. Mom has not seen it since we lost you, but I promised her we would watch it soon. I can't believe your gone. Tell Uncle Tom, I said hello. I love you so much. I miss you more than words could ever explain.

Kathalee
Sister

August 21, 2005

I cant believe it has been six months. I miss you more now than ever. I cried all day on the 16th thinkin of you. I wish you were here so I could share all the crazy stuff that happens to me in my life. I know you would get a kick out of it. I wish you were still here I would have you come in and talk to my class. They would love you. The same way everyone that has ever been in contact with you has. I tell them about you all the time. Everybody I talk to I tell them about you and what a wonderful person you were and how much I miss you. I just wished you were here with all of us. The light in my world grow dim the day you left us. Well I guess I had better go and try and sleep. It will be hard to do cause I am thinking of you. I love you

Linda Brewer

August 19, 2005

Wow, they say it gets easier with time, well i think i have been trying to force myself into thinking that if i keep myself busy enough and don't sleep at all and drive myself so hard that i will atleast get some relief from not being with you, but it isn't working. i have not looked at this website in over a month and i still don't want to have to come here to "talk" to you. i miss you so bad i can't stop crying sometimes. i really need you here! i had one of the strangest dreams about you the other night. you and i were dating and were making plans to get married soon. you were not a police officer in my dream you were in the air force and were called off to war or something and you had to leave suddenly... you kept telling me everything would be ok,we would see other soon,that i don't have anything to worry about and that you loved me so much and would miss me so much! i had the sick feeling in my dream that i have on a daily basis when i think about you, which is you wouldn't be coming back! you did come back in my dream but the weird thing is you had no idea who i was. you looked exactly the same and i can even tell you what you were wearing. i went to pick you up at the airport and you walked right past me. i tried to get your attention and you didn't know me. so basically you were there but not really. you are here with me now but not the way i want you to be. i see your face everywhere in my apartment but i can't touch you or talk to you. all of these weird vivid memories are in my head all the time. i went through a period where everything was a fog and now i think about what your bottom lip would do if i said something that confused you or the way you took off your "monkey suit" police belt(which of course was done in a very orderly fashion every time). i can't believe how bad i miss you and how hard it is to even believe that i have to do that. Miss you! i know you are with me always because there are funny things that happen to me all the time and i just think to myself, chuch just did that to mess with me! i love you so much and will never be able to replace those feelings for you. nobody will ever compare what you were/are to me. 6 months is a long time to go without something you desperately want, but that is nothing compared to the lifetime without it! i love you and miss you boogies!

Rachel Andrews
girlfriend

August 18, 2005

Chuck,

I can't believe it has been six months since I got the call about your accident. I think about you everytime I pass the accident site and still wonder why things happened the way they did. Even though I have visited this site often, this is the first time I've written something because I don't really know what to say.

I just keep remembering the highlights of our friendship. I still remember back to the first time I met you when I was in Narcotics and we were on that search warrant. I remember talking to you and listening to your plans for finishing school and starting law school. I thought it was pretty cool because you were so excited about going to school. But then again, you were always excited about something everytime I saw you.

I always enjoyed our talks last summer at Monarch Village when you "59" while I was working that part-time. I found it easy to talk to you and confide in. You always gave such good advice and could always see something positive in every situation. I really miss those days when I could ask your opinion on something and you'd be straight up with me. My last memory of you was on Valentine's Day. You had my entire roll call laughing when I called you to see if you would come to work early because we were shorthanded. You laughed so hard and so loud before reminding me it was Valentine's Day. I am so thankful I got the chance to talk to you for awhile that night. Once again, you were a sounding board for me and gave me good advice. I still remember the look on your face when you realized a certain someone's brother was in the roll call room. Like always, you laughed it off, but left real quick after that. It was so funny; I still get a kick out of it to this day.

I just wanted you to know that I think of you often. I miss your goofy smile and laugh, but most of all I miss the friendship we had.

Sgt. Christy Nebel
HCPD

August 16, 2005

Brother, it has been almost 6 month since you left us and the pain still feels like yesterday. I think of you often but for some reason, I cannot go to church without seeing your face. It is a different church and a different time, but with all of the memories we had growing up together in church... it is almost too much to take. The last time I saw you was when you showed up to tell me you were sorry to ehar that Pa had died. It had been months and you could have left things unsaid... but then again, that wasn't you. You believed in keeping things said and right and you are obviously remembered for these things. No doubt that Heaven has a comedy section now with you there. I know there isn't supposed to be any pain there, but I do not think that laughin cramps count and no doubt that you have 'em rollin by now... bet you're the talk of the town. Please know that life will NEVER be the same but we are marching on as you would demand if you were here... just doesn't seem right knowing you are gone. I love you my brother and cannot wait to see you again. I know you are watching over your family cause that was always your nature. I pray they have God's peace now and know that you are to be envied in your deliverance from this evil world. God Bless you always!!!!!!

Greg Banks

August 7, 2005

I miss you so much Chuck. It is so unfair that your life had to end so soon. I look around at all the bad people in the world that kill people and their main goal in life is to make others miserable. Those people don't deserve to live. Then a wonderful, sweet, and caring person like you is taken from us. A person whose job was to protect us from the bad guys. It is just not fair. I think about you all the time. I keep that picture of us on my desk and then a copy of it with me everywhere I go. I show it to everyone I come into contact with and tell them about you. I wish I could be in contact with your family. I know this is a difficult time for them also. I know just from the short time that we were friends the great impact you had on my life. I can't image the pain they must feel having been with you your entire life and them losing you. I still have dreams about you. I dreamed just last night about your funeral. The one dream I hope I never have again. My heart breaks every time I think about February 16. I miss you so very much. I love you. I never got to tell you how much I cared for you and valued your friendship. I miss your emails. You always had something funny to tell me. I miss talking to you late at night when you were on patrol. I wish you were still here with us all. I miss your hugs. You always had a big warm hug for me. Especially when I was going through a tough time.

Linda Brewer

August 7, 2005

Chuck,
Hey man, I was thinking a lot about you this week. I went to D.C. for family, and stopped by the Memorial. Instead of an hour trip, it ended up taking me half of the day. I took rubbings of Wilbur, and Jimmy's names on the wall, and remembered that your's will be added next May. I can not tell you how emotional going to that place is. I take comfort in knowing that you are now in the company of those brave men and women who made the supreme sacrifice for their family, friends, comrades, and communities. I also know that as long as people continue to remember, your only death is a physical one, for I will always cary your spirit with me. Thanks Chuck, you continue to give me a wonderful gift. Take care friend.

Detective Sergeant V.T. Rosen
Henry County Police Department

August 7, 2005

Everytime I pull up this website and see your smiling face, my heart hurts. It has been over 5 months, and I still cannot believe you are gone. I want to let you know that I made a promise to you that I have not been able to keep. I told you that I would not let your girls disappear again. I am sorry. It is beyound my control. I have done all that I know to do. We have not seen them since they were here for Jay's birthday party, and we miss them so much. I think about calling you all of the time. I have to catch myself and remind myself that you cannot answer. I miss your smile, your sense of humor and your advice. The Holidays will not be the same without you. No one is looking forward to them, knowing that you will not be joining us. I know that you would want us to celebrate as usual. Please know that that is impossible. A huge chunck of our family is missing, and is never coming back. I love you and miss you. I thank God for the times and memories that we did have. I will miss you for the rest of my life. My "twin" cousin is gone! Life will never be the same.

Brandy Mapp
Cousin

August 3, 2005

Chucky-

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVERYDAY

LOVE ALWAYS EMILY PROVAU

Emily Provau

July 26, 2005

My Bro, my friend, I miss you terribly. I meet a women today, here bday is April 9th. The 4th was hard. Really everyday is hard. I carry you with me in my heart, but also talk about you to as many people as will listen. I am sure I make some feel uncomfortable, but I love you and miss you and want others to know what you gave to us and why we miss so much. I think how can I manage w/o you? How can life go on w/o you? It simply is not right. I was reading one of your bibles the other night that you highligted and there is no doubt in my mind that you are with our father. I pray and look forward to seeing you again one day. To getting one of those big bear hugs. I feel when I walk in a room, when I visit friends and their brothers are there - that I will never experience the feelings that you and I shared as brother and sister. Such a special bond. Somethimg that will never be replaced. I want you back. I don't want you to be gone and I know that sounds stupid.

Little Emily wrote a song to you. We will have to get her to publish it here so everyone can see it. Emily loves and misses you so much. I truly wish your daughters could have had the same relationship or better w/ you so they could have know what a wonderful person you are and how much you do truly love them.

Dad took off for AL today for business. Don't know how long it will be till I get to see him again. That's hard, but I know working is good for him. He misses you more than words can say. He hasn't been the same since.

We all love you very much. Miss you! Think of you daily.

Kat
Sister

July 13, 2005

I miss you bro. I have thought about you so much lately. I drive past the Taco Bell several times a week and I wish I could turn back time. I talked to Kat a couple of weeks ago and she sounds busy. I know she and you mom and all of the people who loved you so much are just trying to move on... but life isn't the same without your smile. I treasure the times we all had hanging out and goofing off when we should have been paying attention, but I know now that we didn't miss out on any lesson any more important than the one that you were teaching me... live life to the fullest and show love to your loved ones. Thanks my friend for being so genuine. I will miss you always!!!

greg

July 11, 2005

Hi Boogies! I love you and miss you! I didn't do anything for the 4th of july, I just couldn't without you. I remember last year we went to Avondale Estates and watched the fireworks with all your buddies that you policed with there. We were so close we had ashes falling on our heads. That was fun. Just like your cousin Brandy said, everything this year will be the hardest because there are so many firsts. We just had all of our firsts together, I really don't want to experience these firsts. I have been working so much lately it is so hard to stay focused on anything else but I think about you almost every 15 seconds through out the day and night. I will never understand. It makes it harder for me when I play that night back in my head. I just saw you 4 hours before you..... I hate writing or thinking any word that has to do with you not being here. I always think about our meeting in the parking lot that night. I don't remember ever being more happy in my life. You were so funny when you asked me what my plans were for the next 50 years. Like you needed to ask that question. My last memory of your face is when i was following after we met for my birthday that night, you stopped at a stop sign in your patrol car in front of me and got out, came back to my car, kissed me(with that huge smile on your face), told me you loved me, and jumped in your car and drove off. But the phone message you left me at 4:00 AM is the memory I can listen to forever. Your goofy little voice while you were laughing throughout the entire message. If I were forced to have a last memory of you, which i am, I would pick that night anytime. I love you FOREVER boogies!!!!!!!!!

Rachel Andrews
Girlfriend

July 9, 2005

Chuck,

I was just thinking about you today. At least you have a good seat for the fireworks tonight. I miss talking to you. I love you.

Linda

July 4, 2005

Chuck,
Every time I see your picture I just can't believe that you are really gone. I think of you every day. I miss you so much. Every time I have a serious problem I want to pick up the phone and call you. Then it hits me that I can't. I still don't understand why you had to leave. Every time I hear the song "Here without you" I think about you. You touched so many lives. I hope to see you soon. I love you.

Linda Brewer

July 1, 2005

Chuck,
I was just sitting here looking at you picture that hangs in my office. I still cannot believe that you are gone. It has been over 4 months, but we are all still in shock. We are trying to figure out what our new "normal" will be without you here. I have wanted to call you several times, but then realize that you cannot answer. You were the closest thing that I had to a brother, and I thank you for being there for me the way a brother would have been. Everytime I hear "I can only imagine" I think of you, and I hear it several times a day. I know that you are in a better place and that you are watching out for all of us, but it does not stop me from wishing you were still here. This will be a hard year for all of us. All of the "first" without you. All of the first birthdays without you, all of the first holidays without you, and the first anniversary of your accident. It suck's! We are all trying to be there for each other, and trying to go forward. Know that I love you and miss you everyday. You were a true hero, and I am proud of you!

Brandy Mapp
cousin

June 22, 2005

Hey Chuck,
Just wanted to say that I am thinking about you! And please wish my father a Happy Fathers Day tomorrow! Miss you both so much! Take care of him and he will take care of you!
Love Always,
Allison Gilbert

Allison Gilbert
Sgt. Jimmy Gilbert Daughter

June 18, 2005

I love you!!! I want you back!!!

Rachel Andrews
Girlfriend

June 15, 2005

Chuck,
I would like to say hey and you are truly missed by all! I hope that you are taking after Daddy and that he is taking care of you! I feel so sorry for your family because I know their pain! I hope that your family is able to go to Washington D.C. It was so amazing and it dosent make the pain go away. But it is really nice to talk to people that are going through the same thing that you are going through. I miss you and wish you were here! Tell Daddy I said hello and that I love him! I Love and Miss You Both!
Well Keep watching over your family!
I meet your mom at the funeral home, she is an awesome woman! But I wish I would have meet her on another day! Not that day!
Love Allison

Allison Gilbert
Sgt. Jimmy Gilbert Daughter

June 3, 2005

Chuckie...I think of you every moment of every day. I miss you more than words can express. Your my big bro and I need you. I need your smile, your big bear hugs and most of all your infectious laugh. Life is simply not right without you here. I think of all the wonderful times we shared and I feel so blessed to have had you not only as my brother, but one of my very best friends. Rachel had bracelets made for mom and me. They are great. They encompass things that we shared and cherished together. I continue to cherish those thoughts every day. Mom and Dad and Suzan miss you terribly. Our lives will never be the same. For me - there is a hole in my heart and I sometimes feel as if I can't breathe. I know mom and dad feel the same. It is truly amazing how many lives you touched and how much you were and will always be loved. So much of this still feels competely unreal and I really wish this wasn't happening. I miss you so much and love you with all my heart. Your sis...

Kat
Sister

May 30, 2005

RACHEL,

Please contact me through Roger Parker, the GA COPS chapter president!! I have some very important news to share with you, and I would like for you to be a part of our significant others group!!

member of OfficerDownSignificantOthers

Jessi Garger
Fiancee of Cole Martin EOW 4.25.03

May 26, 2005

I feel like everytime I write something to you on this page I am saying the same thing over and over again, but this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I feel so alone!!! AGAIN. I feel like I lost my future, our future the day of my birthday. WOW. My Birthday and your "Homecoming" day! It will never be the same again. I promise I am trying to be strong but I am so close to giving up. I never thought this would happen! Never in a million years! Why? I can't stop asking that question, but there is no answer. You know me, I always have an answer. I miss you so bad. I need one of your huge "boogies hugs". I love you and always will until I see your big smile again and you hold me forever!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Rachel Andrews Girlfriend

May 25, 2005

Chucky-

Wow. It has been a little over 3 months since you left us. Every time I drive down 81 I think how could this be the place where you were taken? I passed a police car yesterday and on the back read: "In loving memory of C. Haist"
What an impact you made. I sure do miss you Chucky- you will always be remembered.....

Amanda Smith
Cousin

May 23, 2005

Chuck I received a phone call earlier today from my brother. He told me that last weekend his church honored you and all of your fallen brothers. He deeply touched my heart the number of lives you have impacted in your short time here on earth. I hope to impact just half the number of people that you have. You are the best. I love you.

Linda Brewer

May 22, 2005