Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

It's been awhile since I've been here. We've been really busy with the end of the school year stuff. We had lots of homework to catch up on when we came back from DC but it was worth all the extra hours. DC was so different in a good way this year. We stayed in one of the overflow hotels and it was so much more relaxed and less stressful. Being familiar with the schedule, the people even the metro made it all easier. The kids connected with all their friends and I connected with all the spouses. I can't explain how good it was...but I know you know.

I had one of those moments there. It just hit me with what I had to do next. I came back knowing I was ready to get involved with our local chapter of COPS. I feel pulled in this direction and feel this is what I've been waiting to decide to do. It feels really good having a plan...I'm excited about it which is wierd because of why COPS exists. I guess I can say excited about knowing where I'm going and knowing I have another direction to go.

The boys and I just got back from Chicago for their fieldtrip. It was so awesome. Julia, Rachel and all the boys and I hung out for the 2 days. We saw alot and did alot and had the best time. I thought about you so much since you and I never did get the chance to go there like we were suppose to for our 15th anniversary...It's nice knowing what Chicago is like, now, and being there with the boys was a great way to see it.

We'll be really busy this week with soccer banquets, track banquets, baseball games, softball games and studying for finals. Busy...but in a very good way. I thank God for the peace I feel right now. I love you, boo.

neece

June 2, 2007

Hey Mike. Just got back from an overnight stay in DC for Police Week. I really just wanted to go to the wall and see you there. Bag pipes were playing "Amazing Grace" again. That really gets me everytime. Stayed for the initial events and of course the candlelight vigil. The wall is an awesome place to be. What a tribute to you and all of the officers who made the ultimate sacrifice. I really feel your presence there. Came back home today because they're not offering anything for returning survivors until wednesday. I'm taking off out of here at O dark thirty on Wednesday to meet Denise and the kids for the breakout sessions that day. I made a promise to you and myself to continue to go every year and honor your memory Mike. I will be there every year barring anything out of the ordinary. I miss you. Look over your family this week while they're in DC and know your always on all of our minds. I'll talk you soon. Thanks to ODMP for this forum; giving me and all that love you a way to connect with you in some way. It truly is therapeutic.

Love you Bro! Your still my hero!

Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

May 14, 2007

We're going to DC again tomorrow for police week. This year feels so different from last year and I'm thankful for that. Knowing what to expect takes away so much of the anxiety. Sue and Mike are coming up to meet us at the hotel tomorrow and then we're going to see the your name on the wall. It'll be the first time for them and I'm glad the kids and I will be there with them. Bri and Bridge are going to try to come up early on Sunday so we'll tool around with them that day. The kids and I are looking forward to seeing all the other spouses and kids we know and we're ready to reconnect. You'll be in our hearts and minds the whole week. Just know that we all love you and miss you. I love you, boo.

neece

May 11, 2007

Hi, Mike

My grandpa died this morning I would love if the two of you could meet, he is a hoot! Take care of my "Papa" up there. Please remind him how much we loved him and will miss him. Continue to watch over the guys, they need you. We miss you everyday.

Alison wife of WCAAP

May 7, 2007

Hey Mike. Working the Mid watch again. Wanted to stop by and say hi. I'm putting in for a supervisor position with mixed feelings. I know I'll lose some friends in the transition (Management is the enemy you know), but I'm ready for new challenges (and more money) in my career. I wish I could talk to you and get your advice. I think I know what you'd say though. "Go for it". I know I didn't always act as though I was listening when you gave me advice but I was. I wish I could turn the clock back and hear it all again; I would give anything for that. Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait on those conversations with you. Still working on getting a road sign put in place on I-94. Haven't heard from the Governors office in a while. I think I'll call tommorrow and annoy them again. You know what they say "squeaky wheel gets the grease". Maybe I can get ahold of some of your co-workers and we can make some noise together on this issue. I'll keep on keepin on anyways.

I'm still missing you. I guess I'll say that still when I'm 80. (If I make it to that age)

Anyways, till next time Bro!!

Love you
Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

May 1, 2007

Hey Mike-

Thought about you today. Now you have someone else to tell your stories to and to keep you company. Take care of Tommy and show him the ropes. We'll miss him, as we do you.

See ya buddy-

Clay

WCAP

April 27, 2007

Hey Michael. Just stopping by to say hi and see what other people are writing. I heard today about one of your fellow officers that passed during surgery. I'm sure you'll look out for him, just like you always looked out for other people in this world. I really miss you bud ! I am looking forward to Police week coming up. Kinda bitter sweet though. I want to see you honored again but wish I never knew of the "WALL". We got our soap box derby car shell back today with COPS logo and Virginia COPS logo. This year LJ is driving in your honor especially. We have the phrase "Coasting in Honor of SGT Michael A. Scarbrough" just below the cockpit. It looks pretty good. Not what I envisioned. I hired a guy to do the job for me and I guess he wasn't feeling the same vibe I had. Oh well, It still looks great. Our local newspaper wants to do a story on the car and what COPS is all about. Can't wait. Maybe you can pull a few strings and bring us in a victory. Just kidding. I love and miss you. I keep you're memory here in my heart forever.

Love you
Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

April 24, 2007

i wouldnt know what to say
i wouldnt know what to do
if you came back from heaven
and i could look at you
would i fumble for the words
would i be a little shy
would i bust right out with laughter
or break right down and cry

oh if you came back from heaven
would it be like it was then
could we just pick up where we left off
and try iot all again
oh if you came back from heaqven
it would freeze me in my tracks
and i hope god knows if he let you go
i'd never send you back

do your kisses feel the same
do you still have the same touch
and would you whisper softly
that you've missed me so much
have you heard all my prayers
when i laid down at night
and did you feel my body
when i held your pillow tight

and if god forbid
you leave this earth again while
i see i hope he knows if you go
you'll be bringing me

oh if you came back from heaven
would it be like it was then
could we just pick up
where we left off and try it all again
oh if you came back from heaven
it would freeze me in my tracks
and i hope god knows if he let you
go i'd never sean you back

i found comfort in this song when i lost someone i cared very much for. its by lorrie morgan. CD: War Paint

someone who knows the pain you feel

April 20, 2007

As soon as I heard this song it made me think about all the people who have been there for the kids and I. Everytime I hear it it makes me think of you and all those who loved you and are here to lift the kids and I up. I think it's a love song...how appropriate. I love you, boo.

Long Trip Alone-Dierks Bentley

It's a long trip alone
Over sand and stones
That lie along the road
That we almost traveled down

So maybe you could walk with me awhile
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes
And needs a hand to hold
Cause it's a long trip alone

It's a short piece of time
But just enough to find
A little piece of mind
Under the sun somewhere

So maybe you could walk with me awhile
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
Cause it's a short piece of time

And I don't know where I'd be without ya here
Cause I'm not really me without you there
Yeah aaaah yeah
Yeah aaaah yeah

So maybe you could walk with me awhile
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everbody stumbles sometimes
and needs a hand to hold

So maybe you could walk with me awhile
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Maybe I could feel you right beside me
Till I'm home
Cause it's a long trip alone
A long trip alone

neece

April 16, 2007

The kids and I are having a great time with Sue and Mike. It isn't so warm here but it's nicer than back at home. Being Sue's sponsor as she became Catholic was such an honor. Their church ceremony was beautiful and I kept thinking of you throughout. You would have been overjoyed to participate with them.

During quiet times at mass I did what the priest said and asked for my needs to be met. I tried not to overwhelm God with all of my requests...I kept it simple. The 9th crept up and isn't so painful this month. I guess the rest of the things going on here took priority. I'm still praying for guidance and support and feel optimistic that things here will get better. I definitely am working on patience which you know I've never been really good at.

Being with Sue and Mike is such a good place to be. They are truly a blessing, as you know. Keep putting in a good word for the kids and I. I love you, boo.

neece

April 9, 2007

Hey Denise,
I was sitting down at my computer planning our second trip to Washington and I thought of you. I was going to ask if you were going this year and that we should get together while we're there and catch up but when I started reading Mike's last few reflections, it sounds like you need a very big hug. Soooo, I'm sending you a GIGANTIC hug from way down here in Florida and hope you know that you are not alone. I may be miles away in distance but your right there in my heart. Our fight to survive started on the same day, at almost the exact same hour. You and the kids will always remain in my heart and prayers. Take care and I hope to see you next month. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ashley

April 6, 2007

MRS. SCARBROUGH AND FAMILY,
FROM MY FAMILY AND I, TO YOU AND YOURS, OUR BEST WISHES FOR A HAPPY EASTER. WE THINK OF YOU OFTEN.

SERGEANT SCARBROUGH, NEVER FORGOTTEN.

JIM SWEENEY CIVILIAN NEW JERSEY
A FRIEND TO ALL PEACE OFFICERS

April 4, 2007

Hi Mike,

Please give Denise "The Secret" to guide her, Kelsey, Josh and
Mark during these trying times. We miss you and love ya.

Happy Easter Mike.

Robbin

April 2, 2007

Things have been really rough around here...Sometimes I feel like I'm in a really good place and then something huge happens and puts me back to the dark days. It feels like I have a wall that I put in place and have begun to make a new life for the kids and I...then when that big thing happens, the wall crumbles. Normally, I'm able to hop right back into positive, happy, lighter days, but another event happened right after this last one and I didn't have time to recoup. I feel like there is such a huge weight on my shoulders and my heart aches from the pain. My stomach has that same lump in it that happened when I heard about the accident and lasted about 3 months after you died. That's why I know this is a big one. I keep trying to focus on the return of the brighter days...try to stay positive...and pray for guidance and support. I hope you're able to put in a word for us and help us when days are overwhelming. I miss you so much and I wish you were here to help. I love you, boo.

Thank you, Wally for your reflection. I know that the kids and I and Michael's family feel so much better when we come here and know that Michael is being thought of and that people take the time to connect with all of us. It is a true feeling of support.

neece

March 27, 2007

Lord please continue to keep Mike close to you and allow him to keep close vigilance over his family and keep them safe!

Denise,
It has been a long time since we have spoke however my family and I are always here for you and the kids. Still in our neighborhood on 15th... I was thinking about Mike and decided to come to reach out to you. God bless you, stay safe!

Wally Murdock
friend of family

March 26, 2007

Hey Mike! Just stopping by as usual. Miss you. I'll talk to you soon.

Love you Bro!!

Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

March 21, 2007

I came here on the 9th but didn't leave a message. I thought to myself that this month I'm not going to mark off the day like I always have...well, let's just say that was pretty dumb. Not recognizing it, made everything so much harder. I couldn't understand why I was feeling so bad and then it dawned on me...coming here has been a Godsend to me and it's worked on helping me to move through this journey. The connection to you feels so strong here...like I've said before, I don't always do what's good for me...I've learned another valuable lesson with many more to go. I love you, boo.

neece

March 13, 2007

God Bless and take care REST IN PEACE OFFICER

March 9, 2007

"And if I go, while you're still here....
know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.

I wait for the time when
we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to its fullest
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
....I will be there."

March 5, 2007

Thinking of you at this moment...god bless

March 5, 2007

Hey Mike. Just stopping by to say hello. Thinking about you today as usual.

Love you Bro.

Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

March 5, 2007

Dear Denise ~

Thank you very much for the reflection you left me on Jesse's page. It is always so nice to get a note from another widow. I also check other sites when I'm on here, just to see how others are doing and to feel not so alone.

The first year was so difficult - time seemed to pass so slowly and every holiday or milestone was just pure torture. Then the second year just flew by - I almost can't believe it's almost been two years. Like you said, sometimes it seems like forever since we've seen them while other times it's like they were just here. I feel that way so strongly sometimes - I can still picture Jesse leaving for work that morning, walking out of the bedroom in his tactical clothes with his hands in his pockets. I waved to him and he waved back, said "love you" and off he went. Just another day..... How could we have ever imagined how much our lives were going to change?

I'm beginning to feel that the weeks and months are just blending together - the sadness has just settled in and I've just gotten used to it. Some days I still get very angry, and other days I feel very sorry for myself - but there is also happiness and joy. It has been an emotional roller coaster but it seems to be starting to level out now.

Life will continue on, whether our hearts are full of anger and bitterness or full of peace. I want mine to be full of peace - it's a long, difficult journey but I'm getting there.

Thank you again for thinking of me and reaching out to me, I appreciate the support and kind words. I hope you are doing well - I know you have just passed the 2 year anniversary and I'm sure it was a difficult and emotional time. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Warmly ~
Carin E. Sollman
wife of Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

February 19, 2007

Hey Mike !! Working Midnights again. Just coming around this site as usual to see your reflections. This site really has been kind of good for me. It lets me talk to you even though you're not physically here. It breaks my heart that everytime I come here there's another officer posted, a new family crushed by the loss of an officer, a hero. I have my leave selected for police week in D.C. again this year. Bittersweet about it though. I'm looking forward to seeing the honor given to you and all of our fallen officers but wishing I never had to go in the first place. I know you would feel the same way too. Everything is going pretty good for now I guess. I'm still having difficulty moving through this grief process. I miss you so much. I find myself angry at the world, and how unfair life seems sometimes. I've found someone to talk to about these feelings and hoping it helps. Time does not heal all wounds. My biggest hope is that with this horrible experience I can someday help someone else. I love you Mike. You're still my hero. Till next time.

Brian

Brian Scarbrough
Brother

February 17, 2007

I MISSED THE ACTUAL ANNIVERSARY, FEBRUARY 9TH, THAT YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE IN SERVICE TO US, HOWEVER, YOU ARE STILL IN MY THOUGHTS, AND YOUR FAMILY IN MY PRAYERS.

SERGEANT SCARBROUGH, NEVER FORGOTTEN.

JIM SWEENEY CIVILIAN NEW JERSEY
A FRIEND TO ALL PEACE OFFICERS

February 15, 2007

God Bless

February 11, 2007