Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey baby,
I love you and miss you very much. It's been a little over 19 months since you were taken away from us. How I wish this was just a bad nightmare and that when I wake up, this will all be over. But as I say that, I know that in reality, this is all too real.
You are gone but one day I will see you as you are welcoming me home and back into your arms. Well, I came by to see you tonight. Wayne, you did it again. You will have to let me in on how you're able to do this stuff. Thank you, baby. I sure needed to hear it tonight.
We start our 7th week on monday. It's going by pretty quick so far, which means survival week will be here before we know it. I'm so looking forward to finishing phase 1. We all just finished the stress shoot. Not really tough, just the fact that its timed adds more "stress" to the event. It's actually some pretty good training.
I need your strength tomorrow night, honey. Jamie is going to her first high school homecoming with her first boyfriend. Inside, I'm having a fit. I really really dont know if I'm ready for all of this. I remember you and David use to joke about standing at the door with your guns when the girls brought their boyfriends home for the first time. Jamie is so nervous about it. She thinks I'm going to scare him off, lol. Wonder where she ever got that idea from, huh? (ok, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two or three or four)
Well, I love you and miss you so very much. Watch over our family as well as our brothers and sisters.

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

September 14, 2006

I just wish you were here. To hold me in your arms and tell me everythings going to be ok.
I need you the most right now daddy, I love you.

Love,
Amber Nicole.

Daughter

September 14, 2006

To my favorite nephew named Wayne, I can't believe you have been out of our earthly presence now for 19 months and yet my heart still hurts daily. I remember the great "Huge" family times first as you grew up so close to me and then as you and your young family were growing up. Then as an adult, dedicated father and deputy we had far too few but remarkable times together.
You have left an enourmous legacy behind and I pray daily that all your children (mostly teenagers now)will remember to put God first and lead a life that would be honorable to you and continue to make you proud. Your absence has left changes in our lives that will never be the same and your dedication to your career has helped me have so much more respect and appreciation for all the other dedicated, honorable law officers protecting us daily. And I try to instill that appreciation and respect to my young students every day. Thanks for the impact you have made on so many lives. Thanks to the "ODMP" for their efforts to keep us all aware of the other families missing their loved ones which have now reached their EOW. And may God bless and be with them also as He has been with our family. Love always and forever, Aunt Lauren

Lauren VanDuser
Aunt

September 12, 2006

Hey baby,
Well, school is going great. I'm back into it in full swing. We are starting our 4th week on Monday and then only 9 more after that, woooohooooo. My new classmates are wonderful. A really great bunch of guys and girls. We have a stress shoot coming up on Tuesday. Don't really know what to expect. It's a timed course you have to literally run as fast as you can and shoot. Wow! Its something everyone does once a year. Their changing it this year so we are the guinny pigs so to speak. Other than that, things seem to be leveling off. Just making sure we are all studying and keeping our grades where they should be. The girls brought home their progress reports and their grades were outstanding. I start at DBCC soon. Getting my four year out of the way. Makes advancement alot easier, well that and hard work.
We miss you so very much. We went to dinner tonight and our waitress came up to us at the end of it and said she knew who we were. She spoke for a few minutes and we left. Sometimes its hard to hear people talk about you in that way and about what happened but I'm sure it will always be that way. That familiar pain in your heart that is always there. It seems like I'm always on the verge of tears but you know me. I very rarely show emotion. I just simply say thank you to them and thank them for remembering you. You are part of a history here in this area and will always be remember. They really know you gave your life for them and they thank you for it.

I love you and miss you baby. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ashley

August 27, 2006

heyy daddy.
i miss you soo much that you wont even know.
well maybe you do with grandma lynn.
ryan is doing good he is in 7th grade now. hes turning 13 next month. i know that you would be proud of him and he is working on losing weight with football. he is really missing you though. we all are. i wish that you were here.
i have been through too many hard times without you. i want you here with me, your baby girl. mom is really stressed but i know there is alot going on with selling the house and everything. mike and the other kids are doing good. sarah is stressed with her dad and mom but i told her to
cherish the time that she can have with them, i told her that i know how it feels and it is not good! daddy, i wish that i could have really said goodbye, i mean actually tell you how much i loved you and that you meant the world to me. i know you knew that but i wish i would have told you more often. I LOVE YOUUU. there. thats not good enough. i mean i never got to get a teddy bear hug from you. which i loved the most. im really stressed because of the loss but i know that you are always with me.
everyone always thinks that i am upset but im really not.
wow i mean its really had with you not here.
guys are crazy too. i cant believe you are gone. i cant even remember what you looked like! sad huh? no words can explain how much ive cried in the past year. you were the one person that i really looked up to. steven even left. i love him so much!!!g2g bye

August 25, 2006

Well, I turned another year older yesterday. Another year older, another year much, much wiser. I so missed waking up and finding my birthday card by my bed. I missed my phone call from you at Midnight wishing me a happy birthday. You made sure it was right at midnight, just so no one else could get to me first. I had felt pretty down all day. Nikki, Jill and I were suppose to go walking last night. So when I got to Jills, her and Nikki had a surprise b-day party/dinner for me. It was so sweet and thoughtful of them. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful and caring friends. They really turned my day around, thats for sure.
Well, the waiting game is almost over. The Judge finally set the sentencing date. Although, I'm not going to hold my breath by no means, I am hoping that there will be no more delays. I've tried to convince myself that what ever decision he makes won't matter, but in the end, the only person I'm fooling is myself. Deep down I know what my choice would be, if, I was given the opportunity to decide the outcome.
The kids love you and miss you baby. Jamie is in honors classes this year. So far she is doing extremely well and I'm very proud of the accomplishments and goals she is setting for herself. Her artistic talent is beyond imaginable and not just on paper. She has been designing clothes for Jordon. Poor Jordan, she has become her guinny pig so to speak. But it's attention from her big sister so she thrives on it. Jordan continues to amaze me with her knowledge of just about every animal on the face of this earth. She blows everyone away with all the facts she can recite about any particular animal. She watches animal planet 24/7 and reads everybook she can get her hands that has anything to do with aminals.
It seems like all the kids, Amber Jamie Ryan and Jordan, are growing up so fast. I wish we had the power to stop time. Keep them all young. But, I know their all getting older and with that comes more and more independence but keep a guiding hand on them. I hope and pray that the values we instilled in them will carry them through. I love you baby and miss you so very much. We all do.

Ashley
xoxoxoxoxo

August 22, 2006

May you cherish the moments that you had with Wayne and keep his memory alive with his children. God Bless.

Teresa S.
In Memory of Ethan Collins, E.O.W. 1/4/2006

August 9, 2006

As I sat through my first funeral since your death, I thought about the service we had for you. So many friends, family and community members, surrounding us with all the love and support they had to give. Everyone just wanting to be there, for us and for you, to say their final good-byes to a man who gave so much to so many. As I'm writing to you, I'm playing the songs from your funeral that we chose for you. Each one so fitting, each one holding a special memory of our lives with you. Today, as I watched another family say their goodbyes to someone they cherished, it was heartbreaking because I have and still am in their shoes. I know that another wife is left to spend her days and nights alone with no one to comfort her when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night longing to be in his arms, another father left without a son to continue his legacy and traditions, a brother who is no longer here to admire and share stories about growing up, another friend they can no longer joke around with about a call or hang out with on their days off and a community left without a hero to pick them up when they stumble and fall. It’s truly amazing how one simple human life has the ability to affect so many. Three words can sum up what a person's life should be about. Live, Laugh and Love.... LIVE each and everyday as if there is no tomorrow and surround yourself with all the gifts life can bring. LAUGH at everything including yourself for humor can be found in every situation good or bad, and LOVE with everything you have, you may never get another chance. Baby, we have lived and shared our lives together, laughed at each others faults and loved each other with all the passion we could give. You knew then as I still know now, you were and always will be my knight in shining armor.


For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you


You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me


I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

With all my love,
Ashley

August 7, 2006

Daddy,
I love you and miss you. Guess what, I lost my front tooth two weeks ago. Mommy says it makes me talk funny and sissy is calling me toothless wonder, and I hate it but I know she is just kidding me. Im going into third grade but I dont know who my teacher is yet. I have more than 227 animals in my collection. I got a great white shark the other day and it poked mommy in the eye but i didnt mean too. My birthday is soon and i want a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. I love you and miss you daddy.

Jordan
Daddy's little baby girl

August 7, 2006

Hello my love,

Our leo family has lost two more brothers, both so very close to home. One from Haines city and the other from Orange. It's so very sad that another family has to go through the heartache that we have had since your death. I have not been to another funeral since yours except to help direct traffic at Major Gnann's funeral with my academy class. I only saw them take his casket into that church from across the street, but even from that distance, I just stood their crying. I wanted to inside and pay my respects, but it was too soon for me and I knew that. Now, whether I am ready or not, I will be attending Mike's funeral in Orange County. As I'm sure both officers were at your funeral, I will be there for theirs. Baby, these two brothers are with you now. You are all beautiful, strong and brave souls. I know all three of you will be there to provide as much spiritual support to those families as you can. I love you so very much baby. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

August 4, 2006

It's so hard
for me to be apart from you,
even when
it's only for a short while.
I'll see something
I wish I could share with you,
experience something new
and wish you could be a part of it.
But I hope you know that
even when we're not together,
I'm always thinking of you.
During the day,
you're with me in thought,
so that whenever I see
something I think you'd enjoy,
in a special way
you're sharing it with me.
And at night,
I'll fall asleep dreaming
of how wonderful it will feel
to be back in your arms
where I belong.
Every day that we're apart,
I'm looking forward to when
we'll be together again
so I can show you
how much I missed you...
How much I love you.

" I love you for all you are and with all I am, because without you, I am nothing. Your Husband, Wayne"


Hey baby,
I was going through one of the boxes of the kids momentos tonight and found this card you put on my pillow just before you left for one of your national guard weekends. I was thinking of you tonight and how much I missed you, when I came across it. Somehow, someway, you always let me know you here. That card was suppose to be with all of the others I have saved but it somehow managed to find its way back into my hands. Funny how these things keep happening. This card is so fitting for us, right now, at this very moment. It made me remember when you were is boot camp and AIT. You would call me every single night about this time and make me go outside and look at the moon. So we are looking at it together, you'd say. Since you left us, everytime I look at the moon,I think of that and wonder if are looking at them with me. Jonell and I did that the night after you passed away. She sat outside with me for 4 or 5 hours because I refused to go in. All I wanted to do was look at the moon. It made me feel closer to you at the time. So we just laid on the driveway with blankets and stared at the moon. Alot of that first week is still somewhat fuzzy but that memory is one of the most vivid. Something so far away but so near you could almost touch.
I love you so very much baby and miss you like crazy. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Ashley

July 31, 2006

Dear Wayne,
I wished I could have gotten to know you better. I know Ashley misses you very much as do your children, Amber,Ryan, & Jamie & Jordan. I do know one thing without knowing you that well. You were the best thing that happened in Ashleys life. I'm so proud of her and all of her accomplishments! I'm sure she would agree, that you Wayne, had a lot to do with those. Terry is real good about keeping up with things as far as the trial goes. He's always checking out the Orlando Sentinel. (Even though he still barely knows how to turn on the computer LOL)
I just wanted to drop you a note that our prayers & thoughts are with your family. I'm sure you are looking down from above watching over them.
Ashley,Jamie,Jordan, I love ya'll. I so enjoyed getting to see and be with the girls while they were here. I just wished that we could have gotten to spend some of that time with you as well. I understand though. You are on a mission! I'm so proud of you, you just don't know how much.
Take care. God Bless

Tina Killough
Aunt Tina

July 27, 2006

hi Jordan and me Megan and Jamie miss you and love you we wish you could be here with us. We love you Wayne and but we know your in a better place and we miss you so if we could have one wish we would wish to see you again I miss your phone calls and I miss the calls where you would call me and you would say who is this and I would say it too and you would never tell me and I would argue with you for a long time and my mom misses you too.

megan
friend of family

July 25, 2006

Im Home , still have all my fingers and toes-lol Its been so nice to see the kids , am,ryan jaime. And ofcourse my beautiful angels as well . I did go see you first as soon as I got in town,I miss you so much ,today as we were finishing up dads birthday weekend I started to get angry ,why arent you there ,how selfish to have someone take you away from us ,then in the store today I saw a chocolate cookie candy bar and it took me back to those weekends of mortal combat marathons,and junk food with mt dew not too far behind. I love you and miss you so much , you are my hero, the one who was the strongest ,but yet still so gentle and kind. Nights like these just sitting here thinking make me wish I could have just one more day with you ,we could go running , I have a pt test soon ,and Im sure your boots could use a shine ..

Brandy Koester
niece

July 24, 2006

Hey baby,
Well, your brother turned 40 and Jonell through him a brithday party at the country club last night. It was very nice event even though I was late to it, lol. Right now I'm packing Jamie up. She is heading off to church camp with Heather. Their very excited about going. Jordan's gonna miss her like crazy. But it will be wonderful experience for Jamie and Heather.
Work is going great. Still in therapy for my shoulder, though. Almost through with it, so I can get back into training. I really love it there. The people there are wonderful. They really put alot of work into there training program. The instructors really give you everything they can. I do miss everyone at Lake very much. Its kinda hard to go from one agency to another when your use to doing things a certain way or your use to the guys you work with. Knowing how they do things or what quirks they have. I know thats just life and change is always inevitable but it does take getting use to. Other than that, its still kaotic, but things seem to be getting into a better routine, or so I'm convincing myself they are. Once school starts back I'm sure it will. Always trying to stay positive. Negativity gets you no where thats for certain. Well, I love you and miss you very much. The girls send you big hugs and kisses. Keep an eye out on the girls while their on their trip. Get them safely there and home. Keep your brothers under your wing. I pray daily for Lee, Bill, Tom, Jeff and Andrea as well as the rest of them. I love them dearly.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I love you baby,
Ashley

July 23, 2006

Ashley,
Thanks for the note on Michael's page. The kids and I did have a good time on the 4th. It does feel like forever some days and others feel so much more recent. I believe you're right in saying we'll just have to wait and see how we'll be feeling in the future. Somedays that future is scarey and then some days I can look at it and not panic. I hope all goes well for you and your family and pray for your continued healing.

Denise Scarbrough

July 9, 2006

Hey My Baby,
As another holiday comes to an end, it brings so many more memories with it. Some are buried and dont surface until something triggers it. Maybe its a place, a certain time of year, or maybe even a smell. Sometimes they come to you when your doing new things with either new or old friends. Then suddenly it's there. It may be a memory that makes you sad or maybe something so funny, you just laugh out loud. Who the heck cares if they stop and look at you like your a green headed monster. No explanations are ever given, because it feels like a gift from you everytime. I'm sure others have had the same thing happened. I know I cherish each one, as I'm sure they do.
Well, some friends and I took the boats out today and rode up to silver springs. It was a nice ride. The water was beautiful and so clear. We beached and everyone went swimming for a few hours. Relaxation is definitely the right word for it. We really did enjoy the day.
Missing you and loving you with all my heart, baby!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

July 4, 2006

I miss the look of surrender in your eyes
The way your soft brown hair would fall
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love
But baby most of all

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss those times
I miss those nights
I even miss the silly fights
The making up
The morning talks
And those late afternoon walks

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with



Wayne, I love you baby!!!!!!!!!!

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

July 4, 2006

Hey baby,
I love you and miss you very much. We are just starting our 6th week and everything is going well. We have D.T all this week. We had alot of fun with it today! I'm sure am loving it! You know me, I'm always ready to learn new things to better yourself. Well, the girls send you lots of hugs and kisses. They sure so miss you. We all do. Just wanted to tell you I love you. I'm going to go study, now. Watch over our babies! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Your loving Wife,
Ashley

June 26, 2006

Well I didnt get to know you but if i did i would say thank you for your daughter Amber. Amber such a pretty and sweet and i know that she miss's you alot. But i will have to say that you have raised a great and I know for a fact that you would be very proud. Im praying for you and your family

James Johnston

James Johnston
Friend of Amber's

June 22, 2006

Hey you ,
Well I am still sitting here in Afghanistan waiting to go home . I was thinking of you and your very brave children and family . Missing you as always Im sure and wishing that you were there to be with them . I know that I will be stopping to say hello to you first . Not a day goes by that I dont stop and think of you.Your pictures adorn my plywood walls and I wish everyday that things would be different . Love you --

Brandy Koester
niece

June 21, 2006

Hey baby,
Happy Father's Day, honey. Right now, families all over the country are celebrating fathers day. As sad as this day is for us, I am also happy as well. Happy, because today, is more than just another Father's Day for you. Today, at the National Sheriffs Association's annual conference, you will be honored as "National Deputy Sheriff Of The Year". How wonderful it will be to receive this honor for you on a special day like this. We love you so very much honey and miss you more than anything. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

June 18, 2006

Hey baby,
Well, have a tropical storm coming through tomorrow and there's no telling what kind of weather it will bring. It makes me think about the storm season we had the year before you died.It took you away from us for almost two months. You were doing your military duty and helping others who needed it but we missed you so much while you were gone. While you were helping others, we were home preparing for hurricane after hurricane. We were a strong family and you knew you didnt have to worry about us. We could always handle anything that needed getting done. Now, without you here again, we are getting our first storm of the season tomorrow. I hope it just brings some much needed rain. We could sure use some around here with the fires popping up everywhere.
Well baby, the week starts early tomorrow. We have EVOC all week. I love you and miss you so much. Keep our babies close and watch our brothers and sisters. Your there blue angel, baby. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your loving wife,
Ashley

June 11, 2006

Hey baby,
I just took a break from studying and wanted to say I love you and miss you very much. Tomorrow, we begin our 3rd week at the training center. We test every monday and friday, so the weekend is devoted to studying, for the most part. Which isnt too bad and it also gives you a refresher on things you may not have learned or may have forgoten in BLE. This next week is Firearms( my favorite, of course). The following is EVOC. Gotta love them skid pads. That's pretty much how its been going the last two weeks. Studying, getting uniforms picture perfect, and shining my boots ( They are inspection ready, Sgt Ross lol). Well baby, I love you and I'm gonna get back to studying. Watch our babies and keep your brothers alert. Missing you like crazy. Girls send you great big hugs and kisses. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Your Loving Wife,
Ashley

June 4, 2006

Ashley,


I have been reading what has been going on and I am glad its over. I wish you all the best. Good luck in your new career. My thoughts are with you. I wear my pin here (Lee Co)on my jacket to honor Wayne. Take care.

Charlene Meixner
Lee Co So/former Lake Co So

June 3, 2006