Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Finally, two dreams of you; vivid and real. What a gift! I woke up happy for the first time since all of us died with you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you with all my soul.

September 21, 2005

Howie,

Not a day goes by that sovauhna and i dont think of you. We miss you terribly but look forward to seeing you in the heavens with our heavenly father. Your family is so strong because of how much you loved them. Kathy and the kids miss you so much. I wish i could take their pain away. This holiday season will be the hardest ever, but we know you WILL be there with us. Thank you for loving my sister so much. You are a hero and will never ever be forgotten.

Till we meet again someday...we love you!!

Krisy

Krisy Sexton

September 20, 2005

Never Forgotten. To the family of Sgt Stevenson, know that there are more than angels watching over you.

Lt M
Maryland Police Agency

September 19, 2005

I felt you with me Thank you love

September 19, 2005

I have seen the video footage of this incident and it is chilling. This warrior had no real chance and yet he did not shrink from the fight! He took it to the shooter trying to protect his fellow officer. It is such a tragedy that this fine warrior died. I read the words of his wife and know she is hurting so deeply. Please accept my prayer that God will provide the needed grace for you each day-one day at a time. May God Bless you and your children. I try to be a better officer in memory of this fine man.

Sergeant in North Carolina

September 4, 2005

How, I miss you, I need you, I wish I could hold you, touch you, talk to you, see you. Today is hard. I try to remember yesterday, was that 8/28/05 or was it 01/09/05? I think it is all the same sometimes. Each day comes, yet you are not here. Is the sky blue? Or am I ? What about tomarrow? See without you I am not sure. I know you understand soul mate love you

August 30, 2005

How, I miss you, I need you, I wish I could hold you, touch you, talk to you, see you. Today is hard. I try to remember yesterday, was that 8/28/05 or was it 01/09/05? I think it is all the same sometimes. Each day comes, yet you are not here. Is the sky blue? Or am I ? What about tomarrow? See without you I am not sure. I know you understand soul mate love you

August 30, 2005

Howie

It is still hard to take you're not here. I have started to leave messages in the past but nothing ever sounded right. During the last few days I was thinking about that night in Jan. and it brought me to here.

My screen saver is the team picture we took in Oct at the last county wide SWAT training we were at. There you are up front and smiling. Ricks the team leader now, I got moved to the Division Commander spot for at least 90 days so I still get to keep involved with SWAT.

Brent gave me a picture today of us and our wives at one of his parties. It is a great photo, and it made me think about how muck I will miss sitting at my kitchen table at 2 AM talking to you at a Borges Bash. I haven't had one in years and it will never be the same.

As I said before you will be missed but never forgotten

Sgt Mike Borges
Ceres Police

August 26, 2005

Their hearts are too big
Their wallets too thin.
They're an integral part
Of the world we live in.

They're at work everyday;
Come rain, sleet or snow.
'Cause dedication and honor
Are all that they know.

They deal with the worst
Day in and day out.
They're the ones who come running
When it's help that you shout.

They wear badges and guns
These modern-day knights.
But neither of these
Protect them from fright.

They get hit, kicked and spit on
And oinked at like swine.
Yet they always come back
With boots and belt shined.

They stand their ground firm
When others would run.
And when it's over, they smile
As if to them it's great fun.

When all else is bad
They're the ones doing good.
Doing right by the law
As we all know we should.

Still often it seems
They get no respect.
Some even gripe
When they catch a suspect.

They violated my rights!
The guilty will say.
But how about what they
Give up everyday?

They don't see their kids,
Their husband or wife.
To the families it seems
That the job is the life.

They get slashed at and stabbed;
Beaten, bloodied and shot.
And all too often,
One gives all he's got.

Brave brothers and sisters
Is what they all are.
When one is killed,
They mourn near and far.

Only then do we see
Their toughness wear thin.
And just for a moment,
They let us all in.

They're human you see,
These warriors true.
Regardless of if
They wear green, brown or blue.

They distinguish themselves
Above all the rest.
And it's not just about
The badge on their chest.

For they see the things
We don't want to see.
They are the ones
That protect you and me.

They do all the things
Only the finest will do.
They're the brave men and women
Of the thin line of blue.


"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God."

August 25, 2005

Eight months ago, at this moment, you were still alive. We didn’t know that we had only hours left with you. Would I have done anything different? Would I have said anything different? No. The only thing I wish for is MORE TIME. Although I was far away at the time that you were taken from us, we had just spent the most wonderful holidays together, all of us. There was so much love. We were all so happy -- and so conscience of our great joy and abundance and contentment. Nobody thought those would be our final days with you; that is simply the way our family is -- full of exuberant love for each other and not shy about expressing it. We left your home at different intervals, but each with contented, full hearts. On January 9, you and I had been communicating all day. I told you that “I love you so much” because that is how I feel and felt and I had no idea that that would be the final time that I could express my sentiments to you while you were still part of this world. I said all that I could say to you on that day and throughout my life with you, so I don’t feel that there are any words left unsaid between us. I am so thankful for that. But still, I have more to say, more to ask. I keep saying “if we only knew, we would have tied you down and kept you home!!”. But you would never allow us to keep you from your calling. You are a person of honor and dependability, and never one to shrink from your duty. In fact, you eagerly embraced it. Without you, I feel like I am wearing the most ill-fitting suit; too tight and constricted and all wrong so that I can’t walk right or sleep well and even think straight.

I just didn’t think it would ever end like this. I was sure that we would grow old together, all three of us, and I would have the rest of our lives to ask you if you like this song, or did you see that movie? What should we BBQ? What do you want for your birthday? I visited you in your mountains. What a magnificent place, and just so fitting for you. You were always quiet, but now your silence is deafening. Please talk to me. I love you. I miss you so much.

August 9, 2005

Sergeant Stevenson, You will be missed and your sacrifice will never be forgotten.

Officer Hatzigeorgiou
NYPD

August 7, 2005

To Howie's loving wife Kathy. I just read your most recent beautiful reflection to your husband. Your pain and sense of loss was evidenced in your loving words to him. I so admire you, my brave daughter-in-law JoAnn, and all the other wifes who have lost their soulmates and all the children who have lost their fathers. Each day can be such a struggle, but somehow you all are going on with the journey. I heard a comforting quote today that each of us has music in their souls and when we depart this world, we should lead a life where we have played our music. Howie, Larry, Dan Niemi, and all the other heroes we remember and love played their music loud and clear and their song lives on.
God bless you. Phyllis Loya, mother of
Larry Lasater, PPD eow 4/24/05

Phyllis Loya, Mother of fallen officer

August 5, 2005

My heart breaks over and over as I think about your untimely death. Our lives will never be the same without you here. I try to find reasons to get out of bed, but the emptiness and fear that I feel without you is overwhelming at times. At least we have your children, who are so much like you, to love and be grateful for. Howard, I love you more than I can ever express in words. I don't know how to face the rest of my life without you, but somehow I/ we must. It feels like an unbelievable nightmare that just never ends. How could someone so good, just, loving, and loved be taken by such an utterly worthless -- creature? I pray that no others will suffer this agony and I cry each time another officer falls. I am blessed that I had you in my life as long as I did. For that I will be forever grateful.
I send you all my love and I miss you impossibly.

August 4, 2005

To Howie, Kathy and the family,

Not only were you a great officer, father, family man, You were also MY CUSTOMER. Never in my wildest dreams have the works and actions of someone who I barely even knew affected me so greatly and deeply. I will never forget that fateful night when us carriers were folding our papers and waiting for the news as to who it was. One of our carriers who lives in the area told us that the streets were blocked. When we found out it was you and Sam my heart just sank. One of our cariers at the time was Sam's Aunt. As it is with some of the carriers here, I have two routes. I just happen to have the route that you lived on and came home to and the route that you reported to work at Ceres Police. We all know what happened in between those routes. As I am consistently reminded of every day as I pass by this site of violence, I will never forget the sacrifice you made for the members of this community who you loved and cared for so well. As I drive around the corner to deliver your paper, I make sure that it is placed on the doorstep rather than to just lob it over the fence. Kathy has a lot of other things to worry about than to go out and 'find' the paper. On many occasions a police cruiser would be parked out front, sometimes you would be there with a smile and a wave as I delivered the paper and even I knew the neighborhood would be safe with you there. Now it is strangely quiet and serene as Heavenly Father watches over your family. It is just not the same without you there. Even I, the newspaper carrier can sense that. Although Ofc Patrick does occasionly stop by to see his parents up the street.

I can't believe how strong Kathy has been since that fateful night. Most would have fallen apart. Although I did not go to the funeral, I did stand in front of the Police Station to see the procession and I did go out to Lakewood for the Ceremony and I did see The Chief hand over your flag to your loving wife. Someday I hope to meet Kathy and the family to express my feelings as 4:00 am when I'm throwing papers is not too condusive to this. As Ofc Robert, another customer of mine on the other route, says "The best thing we can do is to try to emulate the type of man Howie was while he was here". I will always have the family in my thoughts and prayers. I just want it to be known that even this newspaper carrier cares and was affected by this unfortunate event.

Lawrence Borges
Modesto Bee Carrier

July 31, 2005

Howie, it's Amanda again...i wanted to let you know that I applied for Patrol at the local police department yesterday! I am so excited, but so nervous at the same time...it's such a rush to think that i might actually get to do what I've wanted to do for years now! I have to start preparing for all the tests, but I think if i just stay focused, i should be ok. I still think of you and your family on a daily basis. My best friend is a 3rd shift cop here in town, and some of the things he has to deal with worry me sometimes. He had a high speed chase not too long ago. I bought a police scanner about a month or so ago, now i always know if he (or any of our other officers) is in a dangerous situation. I look forward to learning how to "protect and serve" and i can only hope that i am fit for the job! You have really encouraged me Howie, more so than anyone else in my life (other than my best friend!). And, even though we only had a few brief meetings, i know that you will watch over me while I'm on duty. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to what I truly want to be and do for my family, friends, and community. Your family was lucky to have such a great person in their lives! Again, you and your family are in my prayers forever.

Amanda Speck

July 30, 2005

My sincerest condolences to the Stevenson family members. My prayers go out to you all and I pray to God to give you strength during these difficult times.

Jackie Wilson

Jackie Wilson
civilian

July 20, 2005

REST IN PEACE, MY FRIEND. I SALUTE YOU!
MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. A TRUE HERO INDEED.

James Sweeney
A FRIEND TO ALL POLICE OFFICERS

July 19, 2005

Stevenson Family,

Wanted to leave a relfection to let you know that Howie is a true Hero and will never be forgotten. My son, my little baby as he was the youngest of 3 sons, was killed in the line of duty on 8/8/04. Each day I awake and hope it is all a bad dream but face reality for another day. We are all now with this group called Gold Star, a group no one wants to belong too. I know the pain and heartache that you feel each day and you ask why but there is no answer. The devastation that this has caused your family and mine can not be understood by anyone unless they walk in our shoes for one day. My only solace is that my son died living one of his life long dreams, being a cop. God be with all of you and I hope Howie wraps his arms around all of you to help ease some of your pain and to protect and keep watch over his family. Howie is a true American Hero, never forget that.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon, Asst. Chief, Retired
Riverside PD, Illinois

July 17, 2005

On August 8th, 2000 our lives were changed forever, when our loved one, Officer Bob Stanze was taken from us. He had an 18 mos old son and had just learned that his wife was pregnant with twins. I look through these pages to find solace and sometimes just to feel closer to others who are experiencing the overwhelming loss we have felt. I want to express my condolences for your tragic, unexplainable loss. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Keep his wonderful memory alive in all you say and do. God bless you all!

Family of Officer Robert Stanze
EOW 8/8/00

July 16, 2005

hi Uncle Howie!
Well it has been 6 months and 4 days. And i still miss you the same as i did the first day..i havnt seen aunty , mick and bryce much which bums me out but im going to mickys tournament soon which i am excited about. Ive been thinking about you alot lately and i wanted to let you know i love you! I know your in heaven feeling the joy that none of us can even imagine! I cant wait to see you again there. say hi to great grandma and papa denise for me please. i love and miss you!
xOxO..Love Always
Sovauhna

Sov, Niece of Sergeant Howie

July 13, 2005

Howie,

Well it's been 6 months 4 days since you left to be with our heavenly father. I rejoice for you everytime I think of how you must feel sitting with Jesus.

We all miss you more than words can explain. Your wife, my sister, is so incredibly strong because of the love you showed her while you were with her. She truly loved you, unconditionally. Bryce and Micky are doing well also. Bryce lookes just like you, Howie, which personally brings me comfort. You were an awesome role model for your children and the entire community.

I get the pleasure to go watch Micky play a tournament in Tahoe in a couple of weeks with Kathy and Sov. It should be YOU going, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that you WILL be there right with us.

Thank you for loving my beautiful sister so dearly and for being the man that you were. I look forward to seeing you in heaven someday.

Till then, you are in my thoughts and I will keep you updated on your wonderful family.

You are truly a hero...although I know you would hate to hear that...but that is why God created you..you were chosen specifically to show others what the meaning of selfless love is.

Love your sister-in-law (the crazy one) haha

Krisy

KRISY SEXTON

July 13, 2005

Kathy has told us that you had prepared your family for a possible terrible tragedy that might eventually happen in your line of duty - and it did happen on January 9 - and we want to tell you "another job well done". They were as prepared as possible, but the reality was and remains very difficult to endure. But you would be so very proud of Kathy, Bryce, Micki and Megan! With broken hearts they are carrying on and they are mending the holes in their hearts one day at a time. They live each day with you at the center of their thoughts.
Dear friend, we all miss you and know you were THE BEST. Take care of Grandma.

Aunt Barbara and Uncle Chuck

Charles and Barbara Olson

July 7, 2005

I really miss you. I wish you would come visit me in my dreams. I have much to tell you, and I would love to have your quiet reassurances again, if only for the briefest time. This morning I saw a flock a geese fly overhead and I knew you were close...maybe looking down from Heaven? Keep watching over us, we can feel you, and that helps.

July 7, 2005

Dad. Everything I ever did was with you. Camping, hunting, geocaching, you were always there. I haven't done any of those since you died. I don't really know where to begin. I know I have a lot of people willing to take me along and thats really all because you took me everywhere you went. I am very thankful for that. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you, some are easier than others. This is the first time I have openly talked to you, there isn't really a reason, I just thought that I would give it a try. Life is definitely not the same without you in it. I'll see you again some day. I love you.

Bryce

June 22, 2005

Hi Howie, we had a fun weekend going to Micky,s tournament, she did great as always! I talked to your Dad; he said this weekend at Mountain Madness was fun but hard. He told me that they spread your ashes where we know your spirit soared. Bryce would have gone too, but he had to work. Bryce is strong and dependable like you, his work has been great at giving him lots of time off these last months, however he was worried that he might be let go if he asked for more time. I am very proud of him as well as both Micky and Megan. We are always finding it hard to live without YOU. The Sheriff Posse of Stanislaus County put on an awesome Rodeo; they dedicated the entire Rodeo to YOU. WOW who would have thought that my "quiet" solemate would have so many people expressing their love and respect for you at a Rodeo! We felt sad and proud all at the same time, feelings that we have come to embrace since you were killed. We miss you ! I know you know ...love me

wife of howard stevenson
CPD

June 13, 2005