Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Never Forget

January 9th, a day we will never forget
A day we lost our loved one, whom he will never regret.
He gave his best to train us all,
Even wore his short sleeves in the fall.
He stood tall and fought the fight
God can tell us he gave all his might.
A sacrifice he gave we will always remember,
We all know that he would never surrender
God took him to another place to serve
And left alone those who don’t deserve.
We’ll laugh and cry without him and all,
And just like him we’ll try to stand tall.
Some things in life just don’t seem right
We lost a person who never gave up the fight!
We all hope to make it another day,
But it’s the one above who has the final say.

By: Jason Brock

Jason Brock
Ceres Police

February 23, 2006

Happy Birthday Howard. We miss you!

February 18, 2006

Howard:

Please look after Officer Scott, his family, and his loved ones as they now must face what we had to. Show him the ropes up there, as you were shown, and continue to stand watch over us down here, especially your fellow officers. Help us to continue to move forward through these horrible tragedies, to find strength and purpose, even when we are in such pain.

February 17, 2006

You are always on my mind and in my heart! Life is keeping me way to busy. Mom is still in the hospital, Kim and I see her every other day. Driving a total of six hours and spending about three more with her. She is doing better and knows she has a long road ahead. We will be right there with her evey step of the way. Bryce and Micky have been great about supporting me, they help out cleaning and with dinners. I am so very proud of both of them. I miss you and know you would be a great support if you were still hear with us too. The days seem to fly by. Your Birthday is coming up on Sat. 18th I thought about what we might have done together if you were still here, I'm sure you whould have a smile on your face, laughter in your voice and a few martini's under your belt. Things are differant now, but we can always look back at what great happiness you brought to our lives. You are so very special and I count the days until I see you again.

I LOVE YOU MY ONE AND ONLY VALENTINE!

wife kathy

February 14, 2006

Sir, you are a hero. May you rest in peace and may God bless your family.

State Constable J.L. Green
S.C. State Constables

February 13, 2006

Dear Stevenson family, I understand how hard it is to lose a loved one and how hard it can become afterwards also, but I know one thing God is there by your side. Love the Rivera Family.

Margie Rivera, sister of fallen officer
NYPD William Rivera EOW 11/24/04

February 11, 2006

To the world, you were one person. To more than one person, you were the world. Love you. Miss you, always.

February 9, 2006

You have protected us living here in Ceres for a long time. I thank you for that. I would see you all the time in passing so it hurt me and my family to hear about what happened to you. I know the pain your family is going through since i lost the love of my life in 1998 CHP Officer Scott Matthew Greenly. The years go by but the pain never leaves. I see your family around town and my heart aches for them. I thank you for protecting all of us for as long as you did. God bless you!

Keli Hemingway
Ceres Resident

February 1, 2006

Howie,

I miss you so much. I am sitting here at work thinking about all the good times we had. It's cold outside today, but I know you would've like it. It nearly froze last night and the guys were complaining, but I know you would've been here wearing your short sleeve uniform.
We are going out Friday night. I know you'll be there with us. You are with the group each and every time. You will never be forgotten.

Love, Shawnna

Shawnna Yotsuya
CPD

January 23, 2006

To Howie, Kathy, and family:

I am glad to read your views on eternal life. I feel that you will all be reunited together someday. I am glad to see your posts in here, Kathy as it helps me, too. Sometimes I want to leave a short note in the paper but with what I've got to say I could write a short book. I know its hard but hopefully with the help of others we can all help you get through it. We will never forget your sacrifice, Howie. Even though its been a year I still feel Howie's presence from above when I deliver the paper. Just remember He said "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it".

I was going through my dads things the other day and found my dads badge and id cards from the early 60's. My dad served five years as a Deputy Sheriff Reserve with the Merced County Sheriff's Dept. I have his service weapons, and now his badge and id cards. I use them to reflect upon his life. I'm sure you have many things to reflect on Howie's life as well. I just wanted to share. I wish my dad would have stuck with law enforcement but he had a family on the way and had to look for other empolyment as reserves are not paid, I'm told. I guess this is why I'm sensitive to your tragedy. I lost my dad to cancer in 1990. I was 26. My wife grew up in your neighborhood one street over. She lost her dad to heart trouble in 1998. She was 23 at the time, her youngest brother was 10. So we know all too well the heartache and sorrow that Bryce, Micaela and Meghan are going through. We hope that you kids are doing well. We, too, struggle with the loss of our fathers. Nobody will ever be able to measure up to fill that void.

I saw Bryce the other day as I was delivering my Saturday only papers for the non-subscribers. We have 5 routes now. I can't believe how much he looks like his father. He probably doesn't know who I am though, just the paper carrier. Kathy, you are so blessed to have such wonderful kids.

I cringe every time I hear of another law enforcement tragedy. Lasater, Kievernagel, Blount, Niemi, Elium, Redding, Stevens, May, Guiterrez, Rennel and many others. I know these guys were doing their very best just like Howie.

I went to a City Council meeting the other day and teased Ofc Robert about throwing his newspaper over his car and Cmdr Mike about sharing the same last name with me and as usual Art was there, too. Such wonderful guys. Howie, you were blessed to serve with these guys and they were blessed to serve with you as well. Kathy, I'm glad that you have this larger family to turn to. I don't think they will ever forget you and the kids.

Last summer my church had the chance to have a service project at Sam's. One of our members, a roofing contractor, was hired by the Ryno's to put on a new roof on their house. I made sure I was there to assist in tearing off the old roof. Unfortunately the TV antenna went through the ceiling and the hole had to be repaired. I threw papers all night so I could participate.

I'm hoping to be able to make the blood drive for CHP officer Rennel at the Red Lion tomarrow as he had his legs amputated due to a vehicle accident two weeks ago.

Kathy, Thanks for the gift cards at Christmas, they will certainly come in handy. I would love to visit with you someday but I value your privacy and I don't want to intrude. Maybe you can help me with this. The Bee will give you my contact information. The route you live on is in my wife Janet's name just tell them you want to contact your carrier.

Most of all, Thank you for being my customer all these years. Lawrence

Lawrence Borges
Modesto Bee Carrier

January 22, 2006

I know once again you are with me my love, Today was long you know, my mom had her surgery. She did great as I felt she would. I talked a long time with her last night. She, like you , always give me hope that God has a plan. You are safe and happy! I know you feel no pain, you know the greatest love and seem to send it our way. I can not began to explain how I know this but yet I truely feel you with me when life gets hard. When you were here I always felt secure. You aloud me to grow, you stood by my side, you let me know that I was important to you and to Bryce and Micky. They look to me now to help them through this. I look to God and to what we taught them together. We did our best and I know they are going to find their way and feel good about themselves. I am so so proud of both of them!! What we had here will never die, it will only grow stronger! I miss your hugs I miss your kisses I miss our talks I miss you coming through the front door each day I miss planning our lives together I miss your great cooking I miss you here with us. You are my partner in this life and the next. I look forward to the day that I can spend the rest of our lives together. You will always be with me here and for that I give Thanks to our Lord. Only he could give me such peace. I am taking one day at a time and what tomarrow will bring I do not know. I love you soul mate

kathy wife

January 21, 2006

I woke up this morning with that same sickening feeling that I felt a year ago today; the utter disbelief and feeling of unreality that this was the day we had to attend your funeral. Until last January, I never even imagined having to say the word “funeral” in relation to you. Even though it has been a year, it still feels like I am facing it for the first time – all over again. Time seems to have lost its meaning. I wonder if we will relive it every year, as now. I kept waiting back then, and even now, to WAKE UP, but I know now that it’s not a simply horrible dream. It’s really real. We all know that now. How could we all be having the same nightmare?

Although our bereavement has not abated, we have still been able to realize many blessings after your death. Even as we were just beginning to grasp the enormity of having lost you, the blessings were starting to reveal themselves and only became more and more evident as time passed. As I observe what’s going on in the world, I am grateful beyond words that you did not suffer, as others are now. We’re all acutely aware that worse circumstances could have befallen you and your fellow officers that night. We are so grateful that no other officers or innocent lives were senselessly lost We are so grateful that we do not have to endure the torture of a trial. It’s finished, over. With my whole soul, I Thank God for all these certainties, blessings. It could have been so much worse than it is. I never want another family to understand such devastation, yet these pages are filled with grief and loss for so many others in addition to you. I am so sorry for that.

We know you lived life fully and our respective lives with you have been incalculably enriched with joy, laughter, and happiness. I know where you are now and yet, at times, I can still feel you with me here. The outpouring of sentiment from friends and strangers alike, indeed the entire community, has been the most touching, awe-inspiring demonstration of support that I have ever beheld. Truly miraculous. As you know, it started on the day you were killed, became magnified throughout your funeral, and has continued since. And when I am feeling really down, feeling empty to my core from your absence, these expressions of sympathy and concern toward our family over your tragic and untimely death, help to sustain and comfort me, because I know that it’s all in tribute to you. I am so proud of you, S143. A year ago today we laid you to rest. Seems impossible. I’m glad it’s raining today, it’s appropriate. I look forward to seeing you again someday. In the meantime, I will never say goodbye to you. I love you so much.

January 18, 2006

Just wanted to say to the officer's family," We here in Oklahoma also feel the loss everytime an officer goes down and we're praying for you". I was raised up in Modesto and while checking for officer's down, this one caught my eye. God bless you all.

Choctaw Nation TribalPolice Of Oklahoma

Lt. Gary Langston
Choctaw Nation Tribal Police Of Oklahoma

January 17, 2006

Kathy & Family. Many here in Lakeport are thinking of you all. Wishing you strength and best wishes in 06' and the years to come.

Steve Brookes
City of Lakeport

January 12, 2006

Hi Howard,
Today is a funeral for another fallen officer. It seems all to familiar. I miss you so much and think about you and your family EVERYDAY. I like to remember the last time we were together, at your dads retirement. That week end was great, I espeacially liked the game of shrades we all played oh, and Gene told me about some kind of skavanger hunt you guys went on, on the way to the resturant.Anyways Howard I love you and miss you,You are my hero. Love always your cousin Debbie

Debbie Boice (Cousin)

January 12, 2006

Howie,

Well, one year has come and gone. It still seems like it was just yesterday when you were here with us. We had a good time last night with all your family and friends. Some of the guys even smoked a cigar in remembrance of you. That's what the entire night was about, the remembrance of our best friend. We will always remember you!!
Love ya!!!

Shawnna Yotsuya
Ceres PD

January 11, 2006

Thank you, sir, for the ultimate sacrifice you made one year ago yesterday. Please know that you will always be remembered as a hero and will never be forgotten.

Linda Lamm - LEO Wife and Sister of
Jay Balchunas EOW 11.05.04

January 10, 2006

Hi my love, got home just in time to make the dinner. Sammy looked great, though I knew he would! I saw all our friends and family, got lots of hugs and send them all your way! The food was great as always, Art and the crew cooked up a storm as expected. I could feel you with us and hope everyone felt the same. The night went by so fast. We miss you. I am glad that I am apart of this great family. I know it will take me a lifetime to "pay it forward" and am ready for the task! I do however pray everyday that it will not be because of a loss of a beautiful life. Always living the best I can and never giving up! love you soul mate l

kathy wife

January 10, 2006

Well Howie its been 1 year since the night we lost you. I still can hear the 11-99 over my radio and my heart thumping as I was racing to get there. Looking back over the past year I've been beating myself up that I couldn't get there a few seconds earlier and maybe have made a differnce. I know now that your fate was in God's hands and there is nothing anyone could have done.

I finally got to meet your wife and see some old friends at your dinner tonight. She is such an amazing person. I finally feel a sense of calm over the who ordeal now that I've had the chance to talk with her. She has quite the calming effect on everyone she talks to.

Thank you again for looking out for us every night we head out. You are not forgotten. RIP S143

MGR
SCSD

January 10, 2006

HOWIE AND KATHY,
THANK YOU HOWIE AND KATHY.
THANK YOU HOWIE FOR BEING SUCH A POWERFUL& BRAVE TEACHER TO MY CHILDREN'S FATHER .I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO HIM TO TRAIN HARD, ALWAYS DO HIS BEST AND AT THE SAME TIME BE KIND AND HONEST. I KNOW YOU ALSO KNOW HOW THINGS GET OUT THERE FOR HIM AND ALL THE OTHER BRAVE OFFICERS.
WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IS THE PEACE I HAVE AS HIS WIFE . KNOWING EVERYTIME HE LEAVES . YOU HAD ALOT TO DO WITH THE POLICE OFFICER HE HAS BECOME AND CONTINUES TO BECOME EVEN AFTER YOUR TRAGIC DEATH.
YOU ALSO HAVE A STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL WIFE THAT SOME HOW,SOME WAY CALMED MY FEARS ABOUT THE SAD TRUTH. THAT AT ANYTIME, AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT HE ALSO, COULD BE TAKEN FROM US.
HE MISSES YOU SO VERY MUCH . HE HONORS AND RESPECTS YOU. NOT ONLY WHEN HE WEARS HIS BADGE. FOREVER AND ALWAYS. SO DOES HIS FAMILY .
YOUR FAMILY HAS TOUCHED OUR LIVES IN A WAY I NEVER IMAGINED. THANK YOU. THANK YOU BOTH. RAYNI JOHNSON

RAYNI JOHNSON

January 9, 2006

On the first anniversary of your death, I wanted to take a moment to remember you and assure your family that you are not forgotten. Thank you for your service and selflessness. It is with deep respect that I honor you on this important day. Rest in peace, blue angel.
Mary Kay Balchunas
Mother of Jay Balchunas, EOW 11/5/04

January 9, 2006

Howie, one year has passed. You are not forgotten in the least. You never will be. We all miss you as much as we did one year ago. Another brother joined you yesterday. May you both walk with God.

January 9, 2006

I wanted to stop in and leave a reflection to let you know that you have not been forgotten nor will you ever be. Keep watch over your family as I know their hearts are aching and will for a long long time. There are no words I can say to comfort them except that you are a true hero.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Mihcael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

January 9, 2006

WE MISS YOU!!!!!

January 9, 2006

Hey How, we have not and will never forget.....
Love, Mike< Trssa, and Sara

January 9, 2006