Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

AWAY
-James Whitcomb Riley

I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead. He is just away!

With a cheery smile and a wave of the hand,
He had wandered into an unknown land.

And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.

And you-oh you, who the wildest yearn
For the old time step and the glad return-

Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here;

And loyal still, as he gave the blows
Of his warrior strength to his country's foes-

Mild and gentle, as he was brave,
When the sweetest love of his life he gave

To simple things; where the violets grew
Pure as the eyes they were likened to,

The touches of his hands have strayed
As reverently as his lips have prayed;

When the little brown thrush that harshly chirred
Was dear to him as the mocking-bird;

And he pitied as much as a man in pain
A writing honey-bee wet with rain.

Think of him still as the same, I say;
He is not dead - he is just - away!

Anonymous

May 7, 2006

God bless you and your family. You are not only a hero to them but to all of us who wear a badge. May you rest in peace and may God give strength to your family and friends.

It will be an honor to ride in your name to the Memorial.

Patrolman Brian Cruse
Manalapan Twp. Police, NJ

May 4, 2006

We will be in Washington with honor and respect to hear your name read.

Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom
Matthew Rittenhouse EOW 9/16/04

Linda Rittenhouse

May 1, 2006

Howie,
Hey Howie just wanted to tell you that I really miss dancing with you. When I dance and do a crazy move I think of you. I really really really miss you. Maybe I'll wright again. We all miss u so so so much.

Sincerly & Love,
Kalani Yotsuya

Kalani Yotsuya
Friend

April 28, 2006

Hey sweetheart, just me again
guess who was in the Modesto Bee today, you and Sammy. They did a great piece on Sammy, telling everyone how terrific he is doing! Sammy is up for All Star Hero on AMW. We have everyone we know voting for him at www.amw.com so he can win. Sammy talked about the shooting and about you two duck hunting a week before everything happened. I am so glad that you have great friends that can remmeber such goodtimes with you. Again, you left us with a lifetime of fun loving thoughts to hold on to and smile about. Thank You for being you!!
I miss you so very much I am getting through each day by keeping you close to me in my heart and my thoughts. You get me through the worse times. Your strength carries me and supports me just like if you were here by my side.
I know you know how much we all love you, because you love all of us just as much! I can't wait until we can be in each others arms again. I know that sounds "sappy" but you know it is true! love you Soul Mate

kathy wife

April 28, 2006

Estimado Hermano.
Los recuerdos de los buenos dias en que me brindaste tu amistad y compartiste a tu familia conmigo permanecen en mi corazon, las personas como tu y tu famila no son faciles de encontrar, y mucho mas dificil es poderlas olvidar.
Saludos mi querido Hermano.

Sergio Faz.

Sergio Faz (Monterrey, Mex)
Amigo de Howard

April 27, 2006

Hi sweetheart,
just needed to say, wish you were here! You are always on my mind. I have the best memories of us, you bring a smile to my face when I picture you doing all the fun things you enjoyed. The guys are headed off to Area 51 this week. I'm sure you will be with them in spirit. I know you loved going there and hanging out with your friends. They will never forget and I'm glad that they have their great memories of you too. We are doing fine but always missing you...LOVE you so very much Soul Mate

kathy wife

April 24, 2006

Howard:
Sometimes I miss you so much that I feel like my head is going to split open. Today is one of those days. I read the books on grief and am now overly familiar with the stages: denial, anger, depression, acceptance, etc. Some days I feel I am way past this stage or that stage only to find myself right back there again. I know I am not in denial, but then I gaze out my window and think about something I want to tell you...then I remember that I can't anymore. Or I try to have a lighter heart toward others only to find anger poisoning my thoughts. The books say it’s normal and will diminish in time, but I have always been impatient and that is certainly the case now. I know we must now find our “new normal” but I so long for the old normal. Wouldn’t it be so fun tonight to toss a few (dozen) back and bbq some oysters and then maybe walk to Taco Bell?

You’re as individual as your fingerprint; not another one like you in the world. Such a sad, sad thought because we need more “Howards”. Love you.

April 21, 2006

Hi my love,
we are still missing you every second of everyday. The sun findly shined, thought we would never see it. I was thinking we would have planned on BBQing and drink some cold beer. I could smell the steaks cooking and remember your great smile. I am glad we have such great memories
to keep us going. The sun does seem to help us feel better. Micky went swimming with Gretchen today. The water was 68 degree. Their laughter was great to hear. Micky has been playing a little softball in between the rain. They won one and lost one so far. Bryce is finishing up his finals at MJC. He got great grades and worked hard for them! He is looking for a job for the summer. I know you are as proud as I am of both of them. I thank God everyday that he blessed us with such wonderful children. Thanks for being the best Dad they could ever have!! Wish you were here, see you when my work is done. love you Soul Mate

kathy wife

April 19, 2006

Hey Howie, I never had the opportunity to say "Thank You" for giving me those basic skills that we all need in law enforcement. I guess I took it for granted that there would always be a tomorrow. I have carried many special thoughts of you and I, from when I used to ride out with you on those Saturday mornings, as a young explorer. You always made feel welcomed. Thank you for paving a positive route for me and my chosen profession..Law Enforcement..

Detective Juan mendez
San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department

April 15, 2006

Much of the fog has lifted. I am now again capable of happy times. Not days, but times. Moments really. Bubbles of time within the month, times that I spend with our beloved family and friends. It has been raining so much. I love it when it rains, always did. Now it’s a different appreciation for me. The weather now matches me so much; it rains and rains, soaking everything to run off, then the sun makes a brief appearance and it’s wonderful. Matching the season, I cry inside everyday, but on some occasions, as with being with our family, the rain abates and the sun appears – my happiness. So nice to see something other than gray. It’s a strange life now. I seem to be on the flip side of a negative film. All that seemed important before no longer is, and all that I knew to be "written in stone" is now not, except your headstone. Hard to say it, those words: "funeral", "headstone",
"murdered", "grief". I used not to understand, I thought I did but it was only from a distance, an outsiders perspective. When I see CHP or regional cops cruising about, on patrol, I have an unreasonable urge to pull aside and say " please be careful", or "thank you so much. Get home safely to your loved ones". I never do. But I always hope my mental vibes and silent prayers reach them somehow.

I miss you so much. It’s frightening to think of this life without you, as if I am floating oarless down a rough river. I try not to think too far into the future, it’s scary. I am placing my faith that you continue to help to steer the boat from afar.

Today I drove past the capital and considered stopping at the memorial for you and all the other slain Law Enforcement Officers. Had I been alone, I would have. I think about your name engraved there, the thought of touching the letters of your name, etching them onto paper. It’s such an honor and yet it can never never never capture YOU. You’re so much more than a name on a wall. Still, I am grateful that it will remain there in tribute to your life and sacrifice. I love you Howard. I still can’t believe you’re gone.

April 9, 2006

Hey Howie, I have not visited this site for a few weeks. As you know, we have been very busy the past few months. I think about you often, especially when were are preparing to serve a search warrant or conduct a probation search. I try to remember all that you taught me during those times. I know you are with each of us as we continue to do our jobs. I hope that we make you proud as you gaze down upon us. You left us all too soon, but we are all stonger, better officers because of you. We have not nor will we ever forget!

Detective Greg Yostuya
Ceres PD

April 6, 2006

Hey Howie,

Just wanted to tell you that we all still think about you so much. You will never be forgotten and have taught so many people so many things that will not be forgotten. Jason started full time this week. He has learned so much from Ceres PD already and I know he's still very young and new, but you know Ceres and we will teach him. He learned a lot from you too and I'm glad you were able to teach him.
We miss you and always thinking of you.

Love,
Shawnna

Shawnna Yotsuya
Ceres PD

April 6, 2006

Hi Sweetheart,
missing you as always! Time is just racing by, I have been very busy with my mom, maybe that is why? We are all doing fine. Micky is still waiting for softball to start, the rain never seems to stop long enough to let them practice. Bryce is staying busy too, fixing up the trooper. His friends helped him put in a new clutch last weekend. I think he enjoyed the challenge! I got a chance to hangout with Carmen and your Dad and we had a nice time. We made cheesecake that turned out heavenly. We are so thankful to have them in our lives. Again, if not for you bringing us together, what would ourlives be like now that you are in heaven? You give us so many reasons to still be happy here without you! You are still the GREATEST everything to all of us.

love you soulmate

kathy wife

April 2, 2006

I saw Sergeant Stevenson in a story on O'Reilly Factor the other day and it told about the punk gang member who took this officer's life. There are too many bad people out there who dont care who they hurt. We are fortunate to have dedicated officers like Sergeant Stevenson who risk their lives everyday in order to protect the innocent civilians in their cities and towns. We owe Sergeant Stevenson an enormous debt of gratitude for his service and sacrifice. Unfortunately there will always be evil people in this world so may God bless and protect those who patrol the streets and stand up to the badguys. God Speed Howard.

Senior Patrol Agent
United States Border Patrol- Casa Grande Station

March 17, 2006

Hi Howard,
Thinking of you alot today.Carmen(my daughter)and I lit a candle for you at
church today as we do every week.Being Lent right now, Sacrafices,was the subject of todays sermon. I couldn't get you out of my mind! I miss you.
Carmen got a fake pair of hand cuffs the other day. She promised to keep them away from her uncle Jimmy. I'm sure you remember what happened last tme Jimmy was playing with hand cuffs. HA HA HA HA HA
I love you Howard and wish I told you that. I wish I told you how proud I was and Am of you. But to tell you the truth, I never really thought of you as a cop, I thought of you as Howard , The hunter, The Fisherman, My cousin. Maybe it was a blessing I didn't relate you and your job together, how important and dangerous your job was, that way I didn't have to worry about you everyday.How silly am I ,to worry now? But I do. I worry about alot of things now. Your passing, so sudden, so unforessen by me, has opened my eyes and has made me live a little more safe and to make better decisions. I'm starting to ramble on now, so I'll close by saying I LOVE YOU AND I'M SO PROUD YOU! Debbie

Debbie

March 12, 2006

Howie,

I just wanted to tell you that you are still in my thoughts, and your family is in my prayers. I think of you often. I remember! Your name will echo throughout the ages. What and honor it is to have you as a Brother!

Jeremy Gatlin
CPD

Jeremy Gatlin
Ceres PD Retired

March 11, 2006

Hi babe, missing you so much! I miss your arms around me, your warm kisses and sweet voice in my ear. I know I can talk to you anytime and that helps most of the time. It is when I am alone that I long for you to be close enough to touch. Someday yes I know!

Everyone is doing fine. Even Grandma is close to getting out of the hospital! She is a true fighter as you know. Micky is starting back at softball. She can not wait for opening day. We know you will be watching every game, just like you always have;
but with a birds eye view. Bryce has been working hard in school and keeping us proud. He can not wait to start working on the trooper this spring. He has taken it out 4 wheeling several times and enjoys it like you do...I think he has your love for the "great outdoors". Thanks for giving all of us such a wonderful love for adventure and fun! We know you still lead us where ever we go.

love you sole mate

wife kathy

March 9, 2006

To Sgt. Howie Stevenson and his loved ones:

On this the fourteenth month after your tragic death, please know that your memory is honored and revered today.

My heart is still with your family and I look forward to meeting them in Sacramento and/or D.C. You’re all in our thoughts and our prayers.

Howie, you rescued us, saved our possessions, our lives and our families. You are one of the rare heroes among us. You were always there for us in the most traumatic moments of our lives. No matter when we called, we just expected that you would come and do whatever it took to help us, and you always met our expectations. Your selflessness and dedication are awe-inspiring.

This world, this country, your community truly are better places because of you. To have lost you is a great tragedy, an irreplaceable, immeasurable loss for society. We are grateful for and to you, and honor you for all you did for us day in and day out whether you received a word of thanks or praise.

Rest in Peace, Sgt. Howie Stevenson. I am so humbled by your valor and courage.

This reflection is sent with the utmost respect for the distinquished service Howie gave to his community and the citizens of Califonia, and for the supreme sacrifice he and his family made on January 9, 2005.

Phyllis Loya, mother of fallen officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD, eow 4/24/05

March 9, 2006

Although time is moving forward, it doesn’t feel as if it is for me. The calendar registers March 9, 2006. This means that 15 months, or 425 days have passed since the catastrophic day. However, my internal calendar isn’t in sync with my desk calendar. I blink and it’s somehow your birthday, then summer, then Christmas, then spring again. Now we’re into our second year without you. How can that be when it still seems to be January 9, 2005 in my heart? I think this is what the twilight zone must be like. I am feeling your loss so much.

Yesterday I heard a funny song from our youth, one that we used to like so much; YMCA by the Village People. We’d dance, laugh, make ourselves into the letters…. Y--M--C--A!!! Remember when we’d laugh at the costumes, especially the cop? Back then, I don’t think we knew yet you’d be donning the real McCoy uniform someday. Well, you probably already knew. Anyway, I could see us smiling and enjoying ourselves and then another memory flashed into my mind’s eye: we were all at SR’s wedding and I could clearly see you and Kath dancing exuberantly to that same song when the DJ played it. I won’t name names, but someone was standing on top of their chair while singing and dancing, arms waving wildly. I laughed so hard! Then I started laughing in my car too and I felt sad and joyful at the same time. I’m glad they didn’t select that for your funeral song though. I love you.

March 9, 2006

Howie,

I was just thinking about you and wanted to say how much we miss you.

Shawnna Yotsuya
Ceres PD

March 5, 2006

I don’t know why I have a harder time with my birthday than with yours. Probably because getting older makes me sad and afraid of facing the future without you to lean on. I took for granted that we would make the tough decisions ahead together. I miss and love you so much.

March 1, 2006

SGT. Stevenson your work on this Earth as we know it is done. You are in God's Care now. May you rest in peace now brother.

SGT. Daryl Brewer
Clarksville Police Dept. Clarksville, Tennessee

February 27, 2006

Dear Howard:

I needed your help so much as I thought about the days ahead of me. I could feel you at every turn. With each breath, each heartbeat I knew you were walking with me and helping me. I am so full of gratitude for having had you in my life and for what I have now - you continue to infuse my life with your spirit. I miss you so much though. Sometimes the memories aren’t enough and I let my mind entertain the idea that it’s all still just a dream, not real at all. Or sometimes I play the ‘what if’ game. But I inevitably return to the here and now. I know you would be disappointed if I didn’t find a way to conquer my terrible sense of loss and grief. Deep sigh. So I force myself to remember what matters the most; how much you’re loved, how many wonderful times we’ve all shared together, the countless people you have touched during your time here. YOU. When I focus on these thoughts, I become less clouded, my spirit becomes lighter again. Besides, I absolutely refuse to let your murderer take more than your life. That is already too much to bear in itself. I can hear your voice in my head and I know what you would expect of me – all of us actually — that I must ensure that the good thoughts outweigh my sadness, and that we must live our lives in the honorable and celebratory manner that you did.

Thank you for ‘holding my hand’ and helping me, as you have done for me all my life. The comfort I feel from knowing that you continue to take care of me and protect me even now is immeasurable. I feel less scared and less lost. I love you so much.

February 27, 2006

I am a native Modestan and had not come into the military yet the day you died. I was on my way home from work in Tuolumne County when I heard the terrible news on the radio. I did not know you, but I was so compelled to pull over and cry. Why? I have the faintest idea. Perhaps because I thought of my wife and how one day I know I will be a law enforcement officer. My point is this, your sacrifice not only got a dangerous man off the streets, but it touched many strangers like myself. I know many officers of the CPD and I know it touched them as well. To the Stevenson family, you have shown great strength and courage for overcoming this obstacle and I assure you that you will be rewarded in some for or another someday. Thank you Officer Stevenson for your service.

Amn Prentiss Carver
Air Force- 95th Security Police, Edwards Air Force Base

February 24, 2006