Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Bryan
i never got to meet you an i heard you where a great guy, keep watching over your fellow officers, an to your family just keep holding on strong.

fellow officer's daughter

May 17, 2006

Thinking of you today as our Nation honors those who made the ultimate sacrafice. God Bless you Brother, your amongst great company! Gone, but never forgotten...

Officer Eric H. Brill (Retired)
Whitehall Division of Police

May 15, 2006

Bryan,

I never had the honor to meet you when your presence on this earth was physical. However, you will always be present as your spiritual self, watching over your fellow officers, family, and friends just as you did when your presence in this world was tangible. I believe in my faith that although Marissa and Malia cannot actually see you that you are very much among us and close to them at all times.

You now stand by those that have passed before us and almighty God in heaven. You are free from any pain or suffering and the choices you made in life told by those that were the closest to you leave me no doubt that you are in a place that no human being can even possibly fathom. Though I did not know you personally, I wept like Niagra Falls at your funeral. I also laughed when Sgt. Oliverio shared some light hearted experiences in your purposeful life full of significance and importance.

Unfortunately our lives on this earth are short and as human beings, we have only a limited time to accomplish our goals. During this brief time period, we experience a roller coaster of emotions. There are good times and bad times. We are sometimes pushed to our breaking points and at other times we are flying high as kites. We don't know why at the time but somehow these challenges make us stronger better people. I have thought why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? I don't know why our brother Bryan was taken from us so early in his life but what I do know is that every time something tragic has ever happened to someone good and those affected remain strong turning their anger and frustration into something productive, something bad is turned into something good. Life is a constant battle between good vs. evil and when something so terrible happens such as Bryan's murder, if together we can make something positive out of it (coming together as a society in support of our fallen hero or police officers donating their personal time to take care of those left behind by Bryan), then good reigns triumphant.

And as for what I said in the beginning about not having the honor to meet Bryan when his presence on this earth was physical. After reading the many detailed reflections left by those that love Bryan very much and miss him deeply, I feel like I have known Bryan for years. Thanks Bryan for leaving behind a great legacy, one in which you can be proud of, your family and friends can be proud of, and one in which we can all learn from.

anonymous
Columbus Division of Police

May 14, 2006

I'll be one of many from your recruit class in DC paying honor to you.. My Dad has never been to the Memorial and after serving 28 years as a police officer with Cincinnati PD he's going with me this year!!! Keep us safe as we travel to honor you and the many others from 2005...

Officer Jim Gilbert
CPD

May 13, 2006

Bryan

Everyone has been going crazy this year waiting to get to DC. Issac and I counted the other night, and we think there are about 80 of us going this year. As excited as we all are to get there, it's going to be hard to get through the weekend. I found your panel on the wall.....46-W:25.....we will see you there tomorrow night Brother. Always Honored and Never Forgotten!!

JP

Ofc. Jim Parsons #717
Columbus Division of Police

May 12, 2006

Bryan,

I will be in DC this weekend honor your sacrafice you made that fateful day. I can't believe this much time has past because it seems like just yesterday I was talking to you. You are deeply missed by myself and all the officers on 2 precinct. I tap your picture that hangs in the sub everyday before I hit the street. This gives me the comfort that you will watch over us as we finish your work out here. Bryan you were a great friend and co-worker and you will be remembered and missed forever. Rest easy!!


Kash

Kareem Kashmiry
Columbus Police Dept

May 11, 2006

Bryan-

I'm starting to believe that there are no such thing as coincidences. Everything happens for a purpose. Today, I received a wonderful greeting card in the mail, with a message that "...Although time has passed, you need to know that many have not forgotten the sacrifice your family has made....Please realize that there are many people who appreciate what officers do each day and pray daily for their strength and perseverence." I have no idea who sent it, as it was only signed "Those who are protected by CPD." This couldn't have come at a better time, because it has been really hard lately. It seems weird that rough times come 17 months later, but it is what it is. The concept of delayed grief is real. For me, the best coping strategy so far had been avoidance. No looking at old pictures, no listening to sad songs, no watching wedding videos, no reading old cards you gave me, no therapy/counseling, etc. Just avoidance. Act like everything is okay and it will be. While that managed to work over the past year and a half, it isn't working anymore. Panic is setting in because DC is this weekend and death is thrown back in my face. All of the events in DC make it impossible for me to do the avoidance thing - the Blue Light, the seminars with other survivors, looking at all of the collages of lives lost on the Memorial Wall, watching other people suffer, cry and grieve. Little things have been sending me into tears lately. Krissy gave the most courageous speech I've ever heard, last week at the OPOTA Memorial. She put her soul out there for everyone and told the audience what it is really like to lose your husband to violent crime. I found myself struggling to hold back the tears. Then, over the weekend, I was buying flowers for Mother's Day. The flowers were by the greeting cards, and of course, the Father's Day cards are already out. You never got to celebrate a single Father's Day with Malia. Not one. I starting thinking about it, right there at Giant Eagle, and I got lightheaded and dizzy. It just isn't fair, and I hate to question God's plan, but is so difficult to make sense of this.

I have developed this intense fear of those that I love being hurt or killed. I am like a maniac now with seatbelts, turn signals, not talking on cell phones while driving, driving too fast, riding motorcycles without helmets, going anywhere unarmed...especially banks. I am probably annoying the hell out of my friends with this stuff, but I can't help it. It's hard to explain to others why I just need them to be as safe as possible. Everything is different now; this event has been so completely life-changing....it has toned me down so much. You used to make fun of me for only listening to rap and hip-hop; you'd make fun of the songs and say they were all about drugs, murder, doing prison time, hating the police, etc. I never gave much thought to the lyrics back then, just liked the music. Now most of that stuff makes me nauseous. I equate it all with the P.O.S. who did this to you and all the other wastes of space in prison. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself when I'm in the car and I catch myself jamming to Sunny 95....i.e. the 'easy listening' channel that used to make me gag. Maybe I'm just getting old :)

Watch over us Bryan.

Love,
Marissa

Marissa

May 9, 2006

Sorry I didnt get a chance to make it to OPOTA for their State Ceremony. However, I will catch up with you in DC. I'm curious as to where they'll place you. Whether they'll have you near other CPD brothers and sisters. Regardless, as they place you on the wall and the lions look over you. It's only fitting to state the infamous words enscribed along the pathway. Words that your cowardly killer learned first hand.

"THE WICKED FLEE WHEN NO MAN PURSUETH. BUT THE RIGHTEOUS ARE AS BOLD AS A LION!!"

Rest in peace brother, we got it from here.

Ward
CPD

May 8, 2006

My name is Bill Styskal and I represent the officers of the Police Unity Tour that will be riding our bikes to DC on Tuesday May 9th to honor our fallen hero's. I'm an officer with the West Caldwell Police Department in New Jersey just 20 miles outside of New York City. This year I will be riding with over 400 other officers to honor our brothers and sisters who gave the ultimate sacrifice. I will have the honor to ride for Bryan this year. I have spoken to Bryan's friend and partner, Don Oliverio who speaks so highly of Bryan. I'm looking forward to meeting with Bryan's friends and family in DC and am honored to be able to present them with a memorial bracelet that I will be wearing on my ride to DC. I look forward to seeing you all on the 12th. God Bless you all for your dedicated commitment to law enforcement and to Bryan.

Ptl. William B. Styskal
West Caldwell Police, New Jersey Police Unity Tour

May 6, 2006

You were thought of today...your legacy will live on...rest with Adonai...

Friend of:
Patrolman Kip E. Boulis
Perrysburg City Police Department, Ohio
E.O.W.: Sunday, May 30, 1976

Kathleen
Alabama C.O.P.S.

May 6, 2006

We'll see you in D.C. for the memorial dedication Brian! Watch over your close friends and family as they will need you during that time!

Ofc. Daniel R. Jones #2079 (Med.Ret)
Columbus, Ohio Division of Police

May 5, 2006

We added your name to the wall at OPOTA today. It was a good ceremony. I was proud to be part of the Sidney Honor Guard that performed the 21 gun salute for you. Rest in peace, my friend.

Off. M.J. McRill #180
Sidney Police Department (Ohio)

May 4, 2006

Bryan,
It's hard to believe that another year has passed, and it is time to start attending Police Memorials. We are piping the OPOTA State Memorial tomorrow morning, where your name was recently engraved on the wall. I piped the solo Amazing Grace fade off for Melissa last year, and if I have anything to say about it, I will do the same for you tomorrow. I insisted on doing it at your funeral, but at the last second, I had to pass it off to Mike Woods because I almost passed out as I was so overcome w/ emotions. I won't let you down tomorrow...I promise. I think about you everyday, especially when I stand in front of the collage of pictures of you at 5 sub. When no one is around....I salute you....and always think back to the morning you were taken from us...standing in formation outside of Grant Hospital.....crying hysterically....and saluting you as the wagon drove off. Can't wait to honor you tomorrow my CPD Warrior!!! JP

Ofc. Jim Parsons
Columbus Division of Police

May 3, 2006

We will be in Washington with honor and respect to hear your name read.

Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom
Matthew Rittenhouse, EOW 9/16/04

Linda Rittenhouse

May 1, 2006

Everyday I wonder what you were like? I wish I could have met you. You seemed to be such an amazing man,father,brother,husband,son and cop. I can't imagine how hard it is for your family. I know myself I think about the day all of the time. I replay the whole situation day after day, night after night! I want to try to forget the whole situation but I can't. I hope that one day I can forget a lot about January 6. I will promise I will never forget what you did for us. You OUR hero.. Wish I could have met you.

April 27, 2006

Dear Bryan,
I miss you a lot, but I take comfort in knowing that people appreciate your sacrifice. I felt like the verdict from the jury reflected that people get it. It's still very painful to not have you here, but the support from the community is overwhelming. I took Colin to your grave today and then to the zoo. I was wearing the officer down tshirt and a retired Columbus police officer told me we were in her prayers. It's comforting to know people care. When I am at your grave, I wonder if you can see me or if you can feel the pain I have. I always feel lost when I am there, and I just start rearranging flowers.
I love when people tell stories of things you did or said. It's so nice to remember you. I recall you telling me to go play in traffic a lot, you trying to drive me to my friends house when I thought I knew how to get there and your patience with me, and you taking me to mom's work and being so nice to me after my piano teacher died, and you teasing me about being a princess, you threatening to cut the strings of my piano if I woke you up one more time, and you having tobacco in your gums and teeth when you smiled and me telling you how gross you were, and the many times I came so close to drinking your tobacco spit in a pop can, and when you were playing nintendo one night, I accidently spilled a can of your tobacco, and after you yelled at me, I ran upstairs to my room in tears, and you weren't far behind to tell me that you were sorry and it was ok.
I would get so mad when I would try to punch you and you always asked if I hurt my hand on your muscles of steel. I also hated your line about there being loose floorboards or coughing spiders always being around.
I Love you so much and I am missing you very much, especially on nice days like today, when I am able to spend the entire day with my son, and really take in life.

Freedom isn't free, and boy, don't I know it.
I wish we were enjoying our children together.

Stacey
sister

April 22, 2006

Bryan,

Happy Birthday... Your sadly missed...

keep watching over us!

Officer Jim Gilbert
CPD

April 16, 2006

Bryan,
I just wanted to tell you Happy Birthday, and to let you know that there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what you did for us! Thanks.

~Heather~

Heather

April 16, 2006

Happy Birthday brother!!! Your tourney went great. Everyone involved true put their heart into maing sure your name is held high in honor!!!

Officer Larry Waltermyer
Columbus Police

April 16, 2006

Nice visiting with you on your Birthday, To the family I hope you all have a nice Easter!

a friend

April 16, 2006

Happy Easter Brian!!!!!!!!!!!

Ofc. Daniel R. Jones (Med.Ret)
Columbus, Ohio Division of Police

April 16, 2006

Bryan, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday,we miss you and think of you every day. See ya tomorrow.

family

April 14, 2006

We're playing poker in your honor Saturday. Marissa wants to celebrate your life and not your death. So I decided to try and make it an annual gig on your b-day. That way we can play cards, drink beer and celebrate with friends and family. Cant think of a better way of doing it. Anyways, watch over us all and we miss you. Happy birthday brother!!


PS. If someone in your family wins again this year, we're protesting!! (LOL)

Ward
CPD

April 13, 2006

Thank you for looking out for all of us when we need it most.

Officer Robert M. Sagle #2254
Columbus Division of Police

April 13, 2006

Bryan-

It's been a long time since I've written you. As usual, a lot has been going on around here. Last month, Donnie, Malia, your parents, and myself went to Washington DC to receive the Medal of Valor on your behalf. It was really cool to meet President Bush, but obviously, it should have been you meeting him, not me. After all, you were his biggest fan! I remember when you and I voted in the 2004 Presidential Election. I carried Malia in her Baby Bjorn frontpack and she screamed the entire time, both in line and during the voting itself. You were both floored and irritated with me that I voted for John Kerry. At the time, I thought Bush was a dumba**, who didn't even know where the major cities of the world were located. It's amazing how being a secondhand victim of a horrendous crime changed me. The thought of voting Democratic is nauseating to me now. Being a part of this process has changed me so much as a person, some for the better and some not. It's not as easy to find the good in others. Listening to the defense at your trial was nauseating. I wanted to throw up when I heard excuse after excuse of why Daryl Lawrence shouldn't die for what he did to you. It has made me wonder who in their right mind could work as a defense attorney, representing a cop killer at that, and look themselves in the mirror every morning.

Anyways,about DC.....I bought Malia an awesome champagne colored dress with matching coat. The coat had rhinestone buttons and was so very Jackie O. She looked awesome! She was supposed to meet Bush with me, but she decided that a nap was more important. Oh well! I got some great pics of her on the steps of the Capitol building.

Right after your trial, I went to Vegas for a few days for some relaxation. It was just what I needed. I came back feeling really good, even though I didn't win a penny. It gave me a chance to hang out with Angie and Krissy.

Speaking of the ladies, we have been joking lately that we are 'professional mourners'. We attend so many funerals and calling hours that we consider ourselves funeral connisseurs. To many, it might seem morbid, but then again, it's something only widows would find funny and actually understand. Thank God for them!! We have such a blast together.

Bryan, I am now a stay-at-home mom...kind of. I resigned from the Sheriff's Office. There are so many things that I want to do that I don't even know where to start. I need to go back to school and finish my Bachelors, seeing as how I dropped out senior year to go to the academy. It's hard to think about leaving Law Enforcement altogether, so I'm exploring a lot of stuff. Then there are other days where I say 'screw it', I'm applying to Vet School. So for now, I'm hanging out with Malia and doing all of the fun stuff we never got to do before. She is absolutely loving having me to herself, full-time....however, she is getting very, very clingy with me. My neighbor has assured me that it's a normal toddler phase, but crap....there are times where she freaks out when I am not in her sight! I have been working on her playroom. Donnie and Troy installed awesome cabinetry with a desk. It is perfect and she loves the room.

You would be so proud of Malia, Bryan. She is so damn smart. I can show her any book, and ask her to identify any animal, shape, color, etc...and she knows them all. It is really cool. She is very much into hugging and kissing these days. When she gets really frustrated, she likes to hit Felony!! It's awful, but thankfully, he is a great dog and tolerates it. Actually, he probably doesn't even feel it since he's 120lb now. Anyways, I tell Malia "Malia, hitting isn't nice! You need to tell Felony you're sorry and give him some love." Malia walks over to him, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses him on the nose. It's hilarious. In her mind, all is forgiven with a kiss.

Although I eventually want Malia and I to live in the country, our neighborhood is really starting to grow on me. It's relaxing to listen to the boats and jetskis, now that it's getting warmer. Alum Creek just opened a dog park, with a fenced in running area and also a special part of the reservoir where the dogs can swim. Felony was jumping on the rocks on the shoreline and slipped and fell right into the water...he sunk. The water had to be about 12 feet deep. Slooooowly, I watched him rise back up to the surface and paddle back to shore. He had the look of WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? It was so funny. He has got to be the least agile dog that ever existed. Angie and Cory brought their Rotts down with us last week, and their dogs are so impressive....they do all kinds of agility exercises and other cool stuff. I just have this thing that looks like a deer/camel cross. If it's dark and he's standing in the backyard at just the right angle, he looks like a freaking deer in the yard.

My mom and I took Malia to the mall on Saturday for her Easter pictures. Luckily, we had an old pro who knew how to get Malia's attention. The photos turned out so cute. However, we did not have such good luck with Malia seeing the mall Easter Bunny. She wanted nothing to do with him. In the end, I ended up sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap, with me holding Malia. Lovely.

I found out that the 1970s Chuck Taylor Converse AllStars have been resurrected. Malia is now the proud owner of a bright pink pair - they are way cool for a 2 yr old.

Your 2nd Annual Memorial Poker Tourney is this Saturday. It will be awesome. This year, I'm going to play in it. Hopefully I'll make you proud and win everyone's cash. Afterwards, we are having a celebration in your honor--lotsa beer and all that good stuff!

We miss you and love you,
Marissa and Malia

p.s. You would be so proud of me. I learned to drive a stick shift this week. Don't worry, not on your Mustang!

Marissa

April 10, 2006