Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Bran,
Vegas was a good escape for a few days. I had fun. Several times though I was very sad. I would see something and think how much you would enjoy it. I was ordering food one day and I thought of how you would always have a million questions about the entree you were ordering. I smiled but then I couldn't eat what I ordered my stomach was upset. I had to go back to the room for a bit and calm myself down. We tried to plan a trip there last year but couldn't afford it. I wish you could have seen it just once. You would have been amazed. You always loved vacations in big cities with lots of busy activity. It would have been right up your alley. I won a lot...more than we ever did in Niagara. Of course I spent it all. I figured I was there to have fun and might as well do it. And you weren't there to drag my butt off the machines. Angie taught me how to play Let It Ride. We always wanted to try cards but never were brave enough.

I missed the boys. I was glad to get home to them. It has been busy at home. The boys just got on the bus to go to school so I took a few minutes to write to you. I haven't had a chance since I got home.

I went to the cemetary yesterday to look at the drawing of your monument. It is going to be awesome. I changed it a bit so it would get in earlier. I can't wait to see it there. It will do you honor. I tried to incorporate several things. You in your uniform, your smile, our wedding, a poem, a hawk, and the american flag. I wanted it to be a snapshot of our lives together. I thought about having a picture of the boys too but I just couldn't bring myself to put a picture of them on a tombstone. That would be too weird for me.

It has been over 5 months now. It is still a slap in the face sometimes. I know it is real but sometimes I still don't beleive it in my heart.

Miss you. Love you.

Sara

March 17, 2005

Bran - I just wish I could erase the past 5 months for everyone. This just doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I try to just remember what you would want us to do. You were always a happy person, talked to anyone about anything. I try to keep my anger and frustrations about what has happened focused on one person, that person is who took you from us. Anything that happens from this point on that is frustrating or angering is his fault. Like I said before I will continue to keep smiling like you always did. It is hard to do when you are so sad though.

The night of Sara's birthday she stayed with me because the roads got icey, I went down to get the bed ready and the boys wanted to know what were behind the doors to the crawlspace. I told them to open them and look. I had a stack of pictures of you on a chair behind the door. They went crazy. That's my daddy!!! So we laid down on the bed together and looked at them, every picture of you holding Hayden, Landon would say that me and my daddy. He didn't understand that Hayden was little once too and that you were holding Hayden instead of him or Tyler.
I think about their futures and I think that for the most part they will be happy little boys and grow into brave men, but I get so so angery thinking about what they are missing out on. About what you are missing out on. It's not fair that you don't get to watch them grow and that you haven't seen how much Tyler can do in the last 5 months.

Spring is coming and then summer and that means T-Ball and we will all miss you so much then, Landon loves playing ball and you loved watching him. This hand we were dealt was raw. I want to demand a redeal!!! Too bad we can't.

Miss you buddy.

Mis

Missy

March 15, 2005

Brandy,
It's the 14th, five months it has been. I think about what happened every day. When will the sadness stop? It seems with every day that goes by, something else is going on. I wonder sometimes what you are thinking when you look down on us. Does God let you see everything? Sometimes I hope that he doesn't because you would probably want us to not be sad anymore or shed the tears that some of us still shed every day. I don't know. Sometimes I wish I had the answers.
I know it is still a couple of months away but please watch over everyone that goes to the Police Memorial. It will be really rough but one thing is for sure we are there to honor you, the hero in all of our eyes.
You are so very much missed Brandy...

March 14, 2005

Bran, hey just wanted to say hello!!!
And wanted to let you know a very special little boy has joined you tonight so please take care of him to. He has went to heaven to be with you. he needs someone to look up to. You are the only one.I can suggest to anyone. I miss you very much.And wish you were here to talk to. I seen the boys today and they are doing very well. miss and love you very much!!!!!!!!!!
p.s the peddicord family said to say hello and that they all miss you.
love you cousin Manda

March 13, 2005

Bran, I haven't talked to you in a while, as you can see i have a new baby now she was born on Dec 30, isen't she beautiful. I have been thinking about you lately because i want to ride with one of the guys and normally it would have been you but i don't know what to do now. I see that landon is 4 now i can remember when he was just born, you were so excited and coulden't wait till he grew up so you had a little guy to teach all your trick, now you have two beautiful boys that look just like you and i am sure they act like you.

Sara, I am a little late but i wanted to tell you Happy Birthday.

Bran, I will talk to you later,
love ya man
Kasey,

Kasey Williamson
former MCSO explorer

March 12, 2005

Brandy-
Even though I didn't know you personally, I am a friend of your family and their loss was felt by me also.
As the days have passed since you left this world, lives have went on. For most, your memory remains fresh and hearts ache for you. Watch over those who are still grieving and truly need your strength to make it through each day. Your two precious boys will grow up to be perfect little gentlemen, like their father, with the guidance of your father and brother.
God Bless You

March 11, 2005

Was thinking of you again this morning while driving home from work. God Bless you Windfield, you are missed by so many.

Deputy Jeff Bessinger
Delaware County Sheriffs Office

Deputy Jeff Bessinger

March 11, 2005

Happy Birthday Sara and Landon!!

Brandy, give Sara some good luck while she's in Vegas and tell Chip Hi for Ryan and I and tell him that we love and miss him so much.

Ryan & Amy Caldwell
Marion, Ohio

March 10, 2005

P-Baby,

This is still not real. I read these postings from everyone and have wanted to write so many times but I feel like I am forced into reality if I do. Reality that is just to hard to come to terms with. I am still waiting on you to come walking into work with that goofy-ass grin on your face, yelling "What's up, Guber?"

I remember a couple days before I was going to 2-way you and tell you a funny story about Braden, I knew you would get a kick out of it as you always did. I didn't want to bother you, I would just see you at work, right?.... If I only knew. I now never hesitate to call someone just to say hi. Right Matt.

Our 10th year reunion was the day after you were taken from us. It should have been us going not me planning a funeral for thousands of people. What the hell happened? This shouldn't be, this doesn't happen to good people, right? I have always believed that things happen for a reason. God has a plan for everything. Good comes out of bad. But I have doubt now that God knew what he was doing. Where is the good out of this? How could anything good come out of this? I know everyone else feels my frustration. But if there is an answer, someone please let me know.

I thought I heard you mark me on the radio awhile back. My heart sunk. I played the tape back, but nothing was there. I had goosebumps and a lump in my throat. Was I hearing things or dreaming that I was waking up from a nightmare? It was so real.

Your mailbox is still plastered with the Dora stickers & GQ picture I put there. I look at them often & it brings a smile to my face. I always told you I only teased you because I had "Nothin' but love for ya, baby" I hope you really knew that because I felt guilty for always picking on you. Even though you dished it back just as bad! Or started it! That's what I loved about you- you were like my long lost brother- even down to the profile.

I think about you everyday. Not a second goes by you are not in my heart. I ache for your entire family. There are no words that can heal the pain. Just actions, knowing everyones goal is those boys. To make sure they grow up knowing their father was an incredible man, a hero. Some questions will probably never be answered, but one thing is for sure, You were loved by so many.

I will not say goodbye, but only I will see you later.
Love You and Miss You Brandy!

Monica Gruber, dispatcher
MCSO

March 10, 2005

Sara,
Although I've never met you, I read Brandy's reflections often. I discovered his while reading the reflections left for a good friend of mine. Thank you for leaving one by the way :) I just have to tell you how much you inspire me with your spirit. You are so lucky to have had someone so special, as I can tell by your reflections. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry at your labor story. I hope you had a good birthday. You and your family are always in my thoughts.

March 10, 2005

B,

We all miss you...

Chief Tom Bell
Marion P.D.

March 10, 2005

Bran - Tuesday was Sara's birthday, yesterday was Landon's. We had a "surprise" birthday party for Sara at our house on Tuesday. Landon & Ty were suppose to come with me to get a birthday cake but Landon didn't want to, so I just took Tank. He picked out a really cute little cake for his Mommy and I brought it home and Landon went running to Sara and yelled Surprise!! He is so funny, he really reminds me of you at those moments. Then when he dumped that cake on the floor and looked at Sara so sad, I felt so bad then when she told him he wasn't in trouble his little head popped up and that Brandy grin came across his face and he yelled Happy Birthday Mommy!! - Oh Bran it was priceless. Boy the kids were pumped up Tuesday, they were running around the house like banchees.

Days like these I just try to cherish the memories that I have of things that surrounded these dates. I remember when Sara was in labor with Landon and you went out and bought her and gift and card and then you bought Landon gifts and a card. I thought that was so sweet of you. You were about to lose your mind when it got late in the evening and Sara was so drugged she was already out of her mind. I remember you sitting right next to her, we used the doctors little chair on wheels I think so you could get really close. I remember also while Sara was on bedrest I came up and cleaned for you and cooked a whole bunch of food and froze it and told you how to prepare it. I tried to take care of you both. I'm really glad I did that stuff.

Well, Sara is on her way to Vegas right now, hope she wins big. She's a gambler, you know that - help her out. Watch over her while she is away and keep an eye on the boys, they will be having a great time with your mom and dad. Miss you tons. Love you more.

Mis

Missy

March 10, 2005

Happy Birthday Landon. I know that both your mommy and daddy are very proud of you, as well as the rest of your family. Daddy will be giving you your birthday hugs and kisses today. Don't you worry.

Love,
Ms. Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

March 9, 2005

Brandy,
Here we are eight weeks from my due date and i was hospitalized for my blood pressue. The doctor let me go home and be on "bedrest" he looked at sam and told him if he didn't keep me down i would be back in the hospital. I have a feeling this is going to be the longest eight weeks of my life. Watch over little one and me so we can atleast make it four more weeks that is the magic number if not longer we need to get to. Sam is being so strong for me thru this although i know he is going crazy inside, you remember those first time parent jitters. well i'm going to get off so i can get back to resting watch over us and you know what to do.
Chrissy

March 9, 2005

Bran,
Give your little guy birthday angel hugs. I can't beleive he is four years old. He is so tall, so cute, and so much like you. We all miss you so much on special days like this. When we woke up this morning I told Landon the story about the night he was born and how happy his Daddy was to have him here.

My birthday party at Missy's was so much fun. Missy made homemade spaghetti. Tyler picked out an ice cream cake for me. It was setting on the counter thawing while we ate. Landon walked over to it and tried to take a look at it. He knocked it off the counter onto the floor. It landed face down and smashed. Landon had tears in his eyes and kept saying, "Mommy I sorry" over and over again. Missy laughed and said, "Well Happy Birthday Sara". I told Landon it was okay I knew he didn't mean to do it, he wasn't in trouble. He got a big grin on his face threw his arms in the air and said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY". I think it was one of the cutest things I have ever witnessed. I laughed myself silly. Later Missy put 28 candles in my smashed and melting ice cream cake. All the kids sang happy birthday and helped me blow out the candles. It was the saddest little cake I have ever seen, but I have to say the best birthday cake I have ever had. We took pictures of it because it was so funny. And of course let the kids eat it. You would have loved it. Thank you for giving me those two precious boys. I don't know that I would be able to smile and laugh like I do if I didn't have them to keep me going.

Today they went to your Mom's for a bit. Landon picked out cupcakes at the store to take over for his birthday. Of course he picked out chocolate ones with footballs and baseballs on top.

I am finishing up getting stuff ready for my trip. I will write when I get back. Wish me luck but you know how I am about gambling. You had to drag me out of the casino kicking and screaming in Niagara. Such good memories. Love you dear. Miss you.

Sara

March 9, 2005

Happy Birthday to you both! I know things are hard....but I know Brandy is looking down on you all and smiling. He must be so proud. I must say, that I read Brandy's reflections everyday and it is comforting to know that he was so loved by his family and friends. Sara--I know this is hard for you. I admire you for your strength and courage. Know that you are in our hearts and prayers. Take care.

March 8, 2005

Enjoy your birthday, Sara. Take the day for yourself and spend it any way you wish.

March 8, 2005

Bran,
My first birthday without you. Tonight we are going to Missy's house. I am going to go shopping while the boys prepare a "suprise" birthday party for me. Missy and I thought they would like doing that. Missy is going to let them pick out a cake and make cards for me.

We all had a wonderful time at the birthday dinner the other night. The boys went shopping with Missy and had birthday presents and cards that they picked out themselves. Missy got a little mouthy with her card as usual. (A little triple dog dare joke that I took Hayden up on, it shouldn't suprise you any).

Landon's party was fun. He loved roller skating. Tyler did a good job too. Landon wanted to try regular skates but lasted about 20 seconds before he wanted the "Baby" skates back on. He got his Bob The Builder cake that he asked for.

Four years ago today I was induced at 7 in the morning. I had been in the hospital for 2 days because of my blood pressure. I think you were relieved that it was finally going to be over. I took a nap around noon and you ran to Columbus to do some shopping for Landon. You came back with birthday gifts for me and a little hockey jersey for Landon. You had birthday cards for both Landon and me. Everytime you tried to go get something to eat I had a fit and made you come back to the room. I got worse throughout the day and they put me on that god awful drug. By the time they finally moved me to the labor room I was totally clueless about what was going on. I told Mom to take the bubbles off the screen, that we were going to confer with the quaterback on this one, and I was really worried about getting the tags renewed on the car....Drugs are a wonderful thing. A little after midnight I woke up and cried because Landon wasn't born on my birthday. When he finally came at 4:23am you were so excited. I remember while I was pushing, you were screaming 1 thru 10 really fast. They had to make you slow down. I just remember how loud you were. After they cleaned Landon up you came over to me with tears in your eyes and we talked forehead to forehead. I can't remember what you said. Then you went out to have a smoke and invited half of the ER (people from our EMT class) back to the room. They were still stiching me up and all these guys were in the room so you could show off your new son.

I remember how nervous we were about everything with Landon. We made the nurses do his first bath because we were afraid we would hurt him. We made it about 20 feet in the parking lot before I told you to stop the car so I could ride in the back seat with him because I couldn't stand him being back there all alone. Then I remember crying when we got home because I was so nervous. We had the little book that the hospital sent home with us. You referred to it as our owner's manual. Whenever I would ask you a question you would say, "Well what does the owner's manual say to do about that." That first night at home Landon slept in the bassinet next to our bed. I woke you up in the middle of the night to tell you he had the hiccups. We both stared at awe into that bassinet at this little baby. We were so excited about the hiccups. I remember how cute he sounded everytime it would come out. To think of it he had the hiccups this morning when he was getting ready for school. It was funny because he kept trying to talk to me and would hiccup in the middle. Then you agreed one night to feed him in the middle of the night so I could get some sleep. At 4 am I walked out in the living room and you were holding him way up high (new daddy style) and rocking back and forth in the rocker as fast as you could with tears in your eyes. You said, "Sara I don't think he likes me, he won't stop crying long enough to take the bottle." I remember telling you to relax a little because he could feel your tension. It took a few months but you became an old pro at it. I came home one day and you were both happily playing on the floor. You had a big grin on your face and said "We bonded today". The two of you were inseperable from that point forward.

I went to school with Landon today to be the helper. We finished his brigance testing. He can match every letter of the alphabet both Uppercase and Lowercase. I was so impressed. We have tried working on that at home before and he won't do it for me. It took a little coaxing because he wanted to be shy about it. It is funny to see Landon try to be shy at school. He also said his ABC's up to G. I know he can go farther than that because we have done that. Yesterday we worked on writing his alphabet on the dry erase board that we got. He was tracing some of the letters pretty well. I almost lost it at the end of the day. At story time a little boy scooted over next to Landon and said, "Your daddy died, my mommy told me. Like my grandpa he died." At first Landon hugged him then he started acting up and crawling behind the chairs. I was on the verge of just bawling but managed to hold it together. I just don't want Landon identified by his friends as the little boy whose daddy died. I want him to be identified because of who he is. He is so special and so happy. He is so much more than the little boy whose daddy died. I don't want people to remember you or the kids because you died. I want them to remember you for how you lived your life and the kids for how they live theirs.

I need to finish up stuff around the house. I leave for Vegas on Thursday morning so I won't be able to write for a few days.

Love you. Missing you as always.

Sara

March 8, 2005

Happy Birthday Sara. Brandy, I am sure Sara's wish when she blows out the candles on her cake today would be for you to come home, but since we all know you can't be home in the way everyone would like you to be, please give Sara 28 birthday angel hugs and kisses today. Okay, also give her 28 birthday spanks and a pinch to grow an inch :)

Love and hugs,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

March 8, 2005

Bran - Things are so hard without you here, I just want you to know I saw 2 hawks flying above me at work today - one of them flew right over me. I realized then, that I will honor you by continuing to smile like you always did. I will stay the course through all of this, we all share something in common, that is we all miss you and we all love you. We have our own ways of getting through this, through it all we should just smile. That's one of the things I miss about you the most, your smile.

Your dad seemed to be having a pretty good time at Landon's birthday party. Him and Landon skated their tails off. It was so cute. Tyler did really good too. At his age, he can do so much that others his age cannot. He amazes me all the time.

I talked to Chris today and he is such a great friend. He is working so hard on your poker run. I hope we have a big turnout and every one involved has a good time. Thats what Chris wants and as hard as he is working on it he deserves it.

Watch over your wife, she needs you always. Your boys need your heavenly hugs. We miss you and love you.

Mis

Missy

March 7, 2005

Bran,
Today was Landon's birthday party. It was pretty strange. You could tell that Landon loved skating...he really did a graet job going around and around...I didn't really see much of Ty, just a flash of him running by. At least the boys had a good time...that is what really matters.

I wish that I could say so much more in these notes. There is so much built up inside that I need to get out soon or I might explode. There is so much going on that is so confusing and agnering...I just wish you could come back and everything would be like it was before.

I went home Saturday night to visit my parents. I haven't been home much lately, so I am trying hard to make sure that I spend some quality time with my family. Plus, it gives me a chance to get away from here for a while. I had a great talk with my mom about you and all of my frustrations. She really made me feel better about what you are doing in heaven and the differnce between what goes on here on earth verses in heaven. I am glad that there is such a seperation between the two. I know that you are up there having fun, being happy and not feeling any saddness or worries. Not that my mom is the know-all of heaven, but as you know, my family is very religious and they do know some stuff. My mom was telling me about how much she liked being around you. My parents didn't get to know you all that well, but the few dinners we had togehter and the wedding are all very treasured memories to them now. She laughed as she told me that she couldn't remember ever seeing you without Landon either in your arms or right by your side. He really is Daddy's little man...that is one thing that gives Cory some comfort...he has said that spending time with Landon is like getting a chance to grow up with you all over again. What a nice opportunity for him to be close to Landon and still feel some comfort and closeness to you...hopefully in some way that will help to heal him. Cory is so cold about some things...it is kinda scary. Some day all of this is going to lash out...and you know how he can be...it won't be pretty!!

Well, I guess I should get going. Cory just called and he forgot socks for work!???!!?? I don't know...

Please keep us strong. At least I know that I can talk to you when I really need to...I'd fill up too many pages on this if I really started in...Please let me know when to talk and when to shut up...I don't want my mouth to get me in trouble!

We all miss you very much, Brandy. I think that there is a painful void and a heavy feeling of saddness for most of us still. I think about you and this entire mess all of the time. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes...I wish I could make this all better...

Talk to you soon,
Linds

ps...my dad is getting ready to leave for Africa with my Grandma soon...you know what to do. Thanks Bran!!

Lindsey

March 6, 2005

MISSING YOU & THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS.
LOVE, ABIGAIL & KENNY
MARION P.D.

March 5, 2005

man, bro i miss you and so do the guys.

March 5, 2005

Bran,

Hey, it snowed quite a bit here last night, I went outside this morning to look at it and I looked up at this big tree across the street and there was the hawk sitting at the very top of that tree looking over at my house. I know your here, I know your watching, thanks for letting us see you. Sara and the boys came up last night and we ordered pizza and sat around the house. The boys were pretty rambunctious. They are happy boys though. Landon cuddled up on the couch with me and I said are you my buddy? He said No, I'm Daddy's buddy. He's so right though, he always has been your buddy. He told me he looked like you the other day, he acted so proud of that, it was really cute and soooo true. His birthday party is tomorrow, times like these we miss you so much. It's weird to be at those things and not see your smiling face. The whole family is going out for Sara's birthday tonight. We agreed after you died that it's important that we go out for birthdays with each other from now on. We all had such a good time together, our last time together as a family, on mom's birthday dinner. I'm so glad we did that. It was just 3 days before you died. I think life is just so unfair sometimes, but at least we got to do something together right before this happened, I guess that was fair that we got to see you one last time. We got our plans done for D.C. - Sara, Mom, Dad & Nellie and I are all flying down together. Rick and Mike are driving in on Friday. Your Mom, Dad, Cory, Linds, Grandparents and everyone are driving in on Weds. We'll be able to settle in before things get too emotional. This trip isn't going to be easy, be there for us all please. Well buddy, I have a house to clean so I will get with you later.

Miss you so much,
Love you always,

Mis

Missy

March 5, 2005

Bran,
Tonight we are all going out to celebrate Landon & my birthday. We are going to Japanese Steakhouse. You know how we all love it. We'll see if Missy makes it home this time. (You know what I am talking about). We always had to stop at McDonalds in Delaware for me. Last October the Sunday before you died we all agreed that we would start going out to dinner for birthday's again. We all went to Olive Garden for Mom's birthday.

We got in an argument on the way there. I wanted to buy a lottery ticket with my winning ticket. You wanted a Snickers bar. I didn't have any cash. You said well can't you just get me a Snickers. I bought the lottery ticket. Then we went to the carwash. Which made us late. Then we stopped at Kroger's to get Mom some flowers. I bought a Snickers bar for you when I was in there. I tossed it at you and we both smiled. You got your way. I never dreamed that would be our last dinner out together. I never thought I would never spend another Sunday afternoon with you. On the way there Landon had to pee. We stopped on the curve on Newman's Cardington Rd. An old couple stopped to ask us if everything was okay. You laughed and said, "No just a little emergency with our little guy."

Last night on the way home from Missy's house I thought about how Landon used to tell us, "Daddy you get me, Mommy you get Ty." He insisted that you always get him out of the car. And he always insisted that you drive the car. If I tried to drive, he always said, "No Daddy drives." He told us yesterday at McDonald's that Daddy was his buddy.

Tomorrow is Landon's birthday party. Watch us all. Give Landon an angel hug. He really misses you. I bought him a V-smile video game system. It is for little kids. He isn't ready for a Playstation yet. He gets mad when he can't do it. I still haven't found the perfect big boy bed yet. I will keep looking next week. I think I will just buy the first one I liked. (Figures doesn't it) I also bought him another horse movie but gave it to him early. He has been watching it non-stop. I think I will take them horseback riding this summer.

I also looked at vacations at Dude ranches in Montana and Wyoming. But I will have to wait until Ty is four because that is how old you have to be to particpate in the kids activities. They would love that. You get to sleep in teepees outside one night. They have campfires at night and horseback riding and activities during the day. It would be the perfect vacation, but only if you were here to share it with us. So in a couple of years we will do that. I also want to take them to Disney. Missy and I talked about doing that when Logan and Tyler turn three. So probably next summer. All these things we dreamed of doing and we have to do it without you.

Missing you as always, love you.

Sara

March 5, 2005