Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

To Sara, the boys, and Brandy's family,

I keep you all in my prayers today and everyday. You are all very strong and I wish you all the best.

October 14, 2005

I have been thinking about the Winfield family very much this week. In fact, I have thought about them often over the past year. I knew Brandy through our parents. Sara, I read your posts all the time and my heart just breaks for you and the boys. I can hear your pain in the words and I just want you to know how so deeply sorry I am. I woke up this morning and wondered what the day was like for you and how the family was going to be able to get through this. I have visited Brandy's grave often and it is beautiful. You are a loving wife and I hate that your marriage and friendship with Brandy was cut so short. Thank you for sharing your life with us via this board and please know that even strangers care very much for you and your family.

October 14, 2005

Brandy...been thinking of you the past couple of days. I can't believe its been a year..I miss you man and our nextel talks. God Bless you Sara and the boys.

Deputy Jeff Bessinger
DCSO

October 14, 2005

Brandy,

On the anniversary of your death, you are not forgotten. Tonight as I gather at a candlelight vigil for Baltimore City Police Sgt. John Platt and Officer Kevin McCarthy, both who were also killed on this day five years ago, I will be saying a prayer not only for them and their families, but I will also be saying a prayer for you, Sara, the boys and the rest of your families, friends, and co-workers. Your sacrafice will never be forgotten. You have a beautiful family Brandy. I know you are extremely proud of how everyone who loves and cares about you has honored your memory. Please continue to keep watch over everyone from above and please let them know that you are still here, even more so today as I know that this day is not going to be easy for any of them.

Sara,

Okay I am going to admit, I have been to chicken to read your reflections yet. I start and then I stop. I guess because you are one of the strongest women I know and it is going to break my heart to know that what I am going to read is going to be extremely painful and knowing there is nothing I can do for you to take away that pain upsets me. I do however promise you that I will in time get the courage to read them. There is nothing that I can honestly say that will make this situation easy. You would think that by going through somewhat similar experiences that I would know what is right to say, but I don't. Just remember that I am always going to be there for you and the rest of the family. Your mom is like my second mom and your sister is the big sister I never had. I still haven't figured out how to describe my little sister yet though :) Hang in there, keep your chin up and continue to honor Brandy's memory with pride and courage, as you have done for a year now. I will be seeing you soon. Until then, remember I love ya and if you need anything, just let me know.

Love,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

October 14, 2005

Brandy, you are so terribly missed. Today is one of the sadest days in our family's life. To Sara, Rick, Shirley, Cory, Lindsay,and grandparents, thank you so very much for sharing Brandy with our family. He was like our other son and a brother to both of our boys. Watch over us all Brandy. You will never be forgotten!!

October 14, 2005

For some reason, today hit me really hard. I had went to elementary school with Brandy. I'd see him here and there after that but it wasn't as if I interacted with Brandy on a daily basis. He was one of the few you thought about now and then. Then I got to reading Sara's posts and thinking of things and I fell apart.

Brandy was a sweetheart in school. He always had a smile on his face, never was mean to anyone... his Mom & Dad raised him right.

Then I got to thinking about the whole situation and anger built inside of me. How could someone have taken his life? He was a wonderful man and from photos it is obvious to see he was a wonderful father as well. My heart goes out to his children. I cry when I think of the pain his family deals with on a daily basis. I wish I could take their pain and suffering away.

I'm sure Brandy is looking down on you every day. He might not be seen, but I know he is present in your lives.

Brandy, you are loved and missed greatly. Even those of us from your early childhood remember you and grieve.

October 14, 2005

Bran - It has been one year....I don't know where the time went, in my heart it feels like yesterday, but when I think about how long its been since I seen your smile or heard you laugh it seems like years have passed. I tossed and turned all night long, all I could keep thinking is that my phone was going to ring and that I was actually going to walk downstairs and start reliving it again. Kinda like that movie Groundhog Day. Only this is a nightmare. Sara mentioned looking back on the past year, it has been so weird. I remember thinking we were all doing pretty well and now look back and think how horrible we were doing. This week has been like a video camera in my head reliving each moment. I will never forget, that video camera will always be there, maybe in the years to come I will just get more used to it.

Hayden has a field trip for first grade (yep first grade can ya believe it?) to Marmon Valley farms next week. They get to ride ponies and have a hay ride. I am going with him, but it will be sooo bittersweet. I hope I can make it around the horse arena without stepping in any poop because last time, you purposely lead me through every pile. Hayden really misses you. I think he is struggling harder than we all thought. He is very afraid that when Rick goes to work someone is going to shoot him also. I try to help him with those fears, but I also can't ever promise him something won't happen. By the way, when I was on my way to your mom and dads to get the boys the other night obviously we saw the huge hawk staring down on us on Rt. 4. As we sat at the stop sign it never left, it stared back, so Hayden rolled down the window and said hi. I knew when I came back down that rode after picking up the boys, it was you, because the hawk was still in that same spot waiting for your boys safe return. Sitting there for an hour or more waiting on them. Thanks for sending us your signs and messages, they help get us through.

I am trying to make today a day to honor you and not the way you left. I'm coming up tonight to see you and have dinner with Dad and Chris. Thanks for having such great friends to share with us. Chris has been good to everyone in this and keeps his mind open to everyones feelings and his ear open to all. He has been great Bran and I know why you chose him as a friend. Brian, Kathy, Lee, & Nikki have been superstars through all this. They have been there no matter what for your little lady. You picked a great bunch of people to be your friends and they stepped up to the plate and honored you in every way possible.

I know that you realize we are doing the best we can possibly do with what has happened. Keep on watching over us, know that I think of you everyday. I miss you so very much in so many different ways. My kids miss their Uncle (by the way, Logan knows you in pictures she will see you and say Uncle Brandy, I hope that makes you smile) Rick misses you guys' silly tormenting antics you always pulled on Sara, Mom and I. Life is not the same without you in it. We miss you Bran.

Love you

Mis

Missy

October 14, 2005

Deputy Winfield, you are a true hero and have not been forgotten. Keep watch over your family. I know it has been a very tough year for them and I ask that your close friends in Blue look after them.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Asst. Chief, Retired
Riverside PD, IL

October 14, 2005

One year ago today everybody's lives changed. Everyone has their own painful memories, each one a little different from the rest...I woke up and turned on the t.v. as usual. I heard a "breaking news" story about an officer who was injured in Marion Co. My first thought was "God, please don't let it be Brandy." I watched the news and my mom called to tell me to turn on the t.v. She asked what shift you worked. I told her, but I said it couldn't be you because I hadn't heard from anyone to say not to bring the kids to your mom's house. I left for work. I passed the area where they found the abandoned van and I just got this empty feeling in my stomach and I knew that it was you. About 5 minutes later, I got a call from my husband saying it was you. It had to be you because there was a note on your mom's door saying she had to go because her son was in an accident. The rest of my drive was a total blur. I got to work and immediately turned on the t.v. They were reporting that an officer had died, but still were not giving names. I made so many frantic calls and found out the terrible truth. I tried to make it through the day, but all I could think about was your family. I ended up leaving work and going to see your mom and dad. Then I had to go home and explain it to the kids. That was hard explaining to a child what had happened and all she could ask was, "Why" and I couldn't answer that . All I said was that that evil person was the exact opposite of you. You would do whatever it took to help out somebody. I know you are with everybody today, but please hold your family and friends close today as we all hold you close in our hearts everyday.

October 14, 2005

Deputy Winfield..keeping you - your family - friends & co-workers in my thoughts & prayers during this difficult time of your one year anniversary..please continue to watch over them & your fellow brothers/sisters in blue~khaki's & green :)..YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN..REST IN PEACE & WITH EASE BLUE ANGEL!!!!

Mrs. Winfield..i'm not goin to say that i know what you are going through..because i don't..it is very hard to send our loved ones out to do something that they love..not knowing if this will be the last time we kiss/hug them good bye..or if it will be the last time that we tell them that we love them..after reading your reflections to Brandy..i know that he will never be forgotten & the love that you have for him will always be there..stay strong for your children's sake..i know they will never forget their daddy..it will get better..i don't know when..but it will..my grandmother died two years ago wed & it was had & i was sad..but i know she is in a better place then where we are..so is Brandy..

please remember..he died doing something that he loved & was happy..he is looking down on you & your boys..he is your personal guardian angel..

girlfriend of a leo
michigan

October 14, 2005

Brandy,
It's officially been one year about to the minute and I can't tell you how fast it has flown by. I am sitting here staring at the clock thinking about each minute as it ticks by, what you were doing, what was being said. It's almost to hard to think about. I remember like it was yesterday getting that phone call, the other end just crying telling me what had happened. It seems like yesterday. It's amazing every detail you can remember about a day that you try to forget. I will stop by the cemetary today to say hello, pay my respects, and celebrate the life of a hero.
I never would have imagined how this would effect all of our lives, especially your family. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone today. Just to make it through the day. You are so very much missed Brandy.

CB

October 14, 2005

It brings tears to my eyes as I am reading the reflections left by Deputy Winfield's wife. I can't say that I know the pain you are going through, but I lost one of my best friends in the line of duty on 1/30/04. He was also shot and has a young son. My heart aches for you and your family. I wish there were something I could say to you and your children to make this long journey a little easier for you. I will definitely keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Your husband is a true hero and will never be forgotten throughout the nation. I am from St. Louis, Missouri and I check this website daily, hoping there will be no more names added to the list, and it hurts me so bad to know that others are going through the same pain. You seem like a strong woman and I know you will continue to be there for your children to comfort them and to share stories with them about their daddy. That is all you can do right now. I know there are days to where you don't think you can get out of bed, but you have to so you can be strong for your children and your husband. Continue to be strong and know that you have so many people out here to help you. Your husband is a hero!!


Tracie
Friend of Nick Sloan EOW 1/30/04
St. Louis Police Department

Tracie
Friend of Officer Nick Sloan EOW 1/30/04

October 14, 2005

Bran
One whole year with our chain broken! I went up to visit right after I got off work tonight. Some thought I was crazy but I had to do what I thought was best for me and I wanted to do my thing alone. Left you a buckeye light, buckeyes that Landon, Tyler, Sara and I picked up. A banner and the usual poster I always made sure you had from the games. Made sure it was the Ohio State Michigan game poster from last year and some pom pom's that I know Landon and Ty will like to play with when they come up to see their daddy today. Remember we love you and miss you more every day kiddo!!
Love Johnna

Johnna

October 14, 2005

Well Bacon, the one year mark is here and in some ways it seems like it has been longer and in others it seems like only yesterday that I was rushing to get on duty and head to the hospital to help comfort and be comforted. I am sure there are many people just like me awake at 2AM that can't begin to TRY to sleep tonight knowing how tough it will be when the sun comes up. Just watch over everyone and help them get through this tough day, I know you will!!
Miss ya brother

J.J. Wollett
Marion Township Fire

October 14, 2005

This is a first for me, but I needed you to know that you are not forgotten and still live on daily in our minds. There is not a single day that I do not think of you and your sacrafice. It reminds me to to cherish those I love a little more wether it be with words or actions and I thank you for that. Keep the rest of our guys safe out there today and always.

October 14, 2005

Mrs Winfield, just wanted to let you know that i went to the wall in DC on monday. I saw Dep Winfields name. I came back with it on a piece of paper. I've been reading about the inc since it happen, it is really touching. It makes me want to be a better officer. I hope all is as well as it can be. I'm sure your husband is really proud of you and the way you are raising your 2 sons.

Deputy Harvey

October 14, 2005

God bless you, Brandy, and all of your family, friends, and loved ones. Our prayers and love are with all of you.

We will never forget you.

October 13, 2005

I wish to acknowledge the distinquished service Deputy Sheriff Winfield gave to his community and the citizens of Texas, and for the supreme sacrifice he and his family made on October 14, 2004. Deputy Sheriff Winfield, you are a true hero not just to those who knew and loved you, but to everyone who reads the reflections of love, longing, and pride that are left for you. It is through those special reflections that we get some sense of what a wonderful man you were, and of the tremendous void left in the lives of those who loved you and those who you loved.

Sara, your agony touches me profoundly and I am thinking of you and your sons tonight.

Phyllis Loya, mother of fallen officer
Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD eow 4/24/05

October 13, 2005

Brandy I can't believe tomorrow will be an entire year since that coward took you away from all of us. Why do bad things ALWAYS happen to good people? Its just not fair.

I know that you are up in heaven now and you are looking down at all of us with that big smile of yours. Please give great big angel hugs to those two precious little boys of yours and your wife.

Sara, you are such an amazing woman. I truly am sure you are an inspiration to others who are in the same situation. Please know that I think of you and your family everyday.

Amy Caldwell
Marion

October 13, 2005

It is 9:45, in 15 minutes it will officially be a year since I last saw you alive. It certainly doesn't feel that way. I just spent an hour on the phone with Chris. I think it is weighing heavy in everyone's hearts.

Chris reminded me another 24 hours...just another day. We have made it through a year we can make it through a day.

We are going to the cemetary tomorrow. Then out to dinner with your family, your mom wants to take the boys to a Harding game. I might make a stop at Applebees with some of the 3rd shift guys. They are all meeting there for some adult beverages and fellowship. Then I am going back to the game with the boys. The boys start bowling league Saturday. Just like last year, the Saturday after you died.....

I love you so much and wish I had told you more often. Sometimes we were so busy with life and all the things we had to do that we didn't just take time for each other....I wish we had more often. You never know how much you are going to miss that until it is gone. Those little moments together, those looks between a couple, those knowing glances across a room full of people, knowing what you meant by the tone of your voice or the look in your eye....Those little things built by love over many years. All gone in a few short seconds....A whole entire life shattered. Linda once said it is like being left with all the pieces of a puzzle and the pieces no longer fit together but you are desperatly trying to put them back together again. I think I got the frame back together again, just the whole center piece it missing....

That day in the emergency room is so vague but vivid also. I remember telling Landon. I remember Chevette coming in to pick up the boys. I remember sitting outside smoking and realizing what this really meant. I remember starting to walk out the door looking over in the medic room and seeing Matt standing there talking to someone. I just broke down when I looked at Matt. Manda drove me over to your Mom's to get photos of you for a press release. Someone drove me back home. People were milling about the house. I didn't shower. I just sat around in the clothes I wore to the emergency room. People were bringing food, toilet paper, paper plates, fixing things you hadn't fixed, doing laundry, flowers were being delivered. I was oblivious to most all of it. I remember I sat down and started making a list of things you would want for your funeral. I told your Dad to find someplace big to have the calling hours, that the funeral home would be too small. I knew what to do because you had told me what you wanted if you ever died in the line of duty. The one thing that stands out in my mind are the wonderful people from my office. They knew what to do for ME....They all showed up in a group. They sat down on the floor in front of me. They presented me with a Dr. Pepper, lottery tickets, and BIG chewy sweettarts. I don't remember who brought green bean casserole, who brought blankets or bears, or who sent flowers to the house but I remember that bottle of Dr. Pepper, the lottery tickets, and those sweettarts. I guess that is a bunch of social workers for you. I know the kids were a mess for a few days. They wouldn't sleep. I remember sitting locked in our bedroom with a group of people from the Sheriff's Office trying to plan the funeral. Landon came in the room and started talking about you and wanting to draw a picture of you. He was rubbing a photo of you. I know all the men in the room ran out as fast as they could. They couldn't handle it. Those guys could handle about anything at that moment but seeing Landon talk about his Daddy. I remember Monica and I trying to record the final call for the funeral. We had to giggle our way through it just so we could do it. Brian and Kathy informed me of what you allowed to happen when I was in labor with Tyler. I still say she is a dirty little woman for that stunt. I kept telling people not to set on that corner of our bed.

It is so wierd to think back on those days after the you died. It seems so hazy yet so vivid at the same time. I know I was going on auto pilot. I didn't eat for days. I basically survived on Dr. Pepper and cigarettes. I didn't sleep. I tried but just as I would fall asleep I would wake back up. I kept going out and getting in the cruiser of whoever was on guard in front of the house. Different people took turns spending the night at the house. I didn't want to be alone. That was so hard for the longest time. The quiet after the kids were in bed. Totally alone with my thoughts. I about made myself insane. I couldn't concentrate long enough to get anything done. Brian and Kathy basically did everything for me. God how did I make it through this year. I look back now and realize how crazy it has all been. I thought I was doing so well after you died but realize it was just crazy....

I didn't sleep last night much. I was up until 5 am. Tyler just woke up crying a little bit ago. He has been doing that recently. I think he is having nightmares but he won't tell me what is wrong. He is usually drenched in sweat when I get to him. He is sleeping on the couch downstairs right now. I need to carry him up to bed. He is getting so heavy. It is hard carrying him up three flights of stairs.

I ordered Kenny's new CD today. It comes out in a few weeks. I can't wait. I love the new song. I am sure you would have loved it too......

I love you. Missing you very much.

Sara

October 13, 2005

Sara-

It's been awhile since we've talked, but I wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and your family all week. I read your reflections to Brandy often. You truly are of the strongest women I've ever met.

It brings me peace that amazing men like Bryan and Brandy can know each other in Heaven.

Marissa
DCSO

October 13, 2005

Dep. Winfield,

Tomorrow is the one yearmark of the day that you were called home. Although I did not know you, I was present at the service and they never get any easier. I can only offer my condolences to your friends and family that offers to support such a loved one who is called into this career. One thing I have learned in life is that life is short and time stops for noone. I beleive that everything that happens to us may not be part of our plan, but still must happen, no matter how tragic. I know your family is strong enough to carry on in a way to bring honor to you, even though the times are harder than many have to experience. I have met you wife, but unfortunately it has been at other police funerals, but you would be proud that your wife and family continues to offer support to others affected by such tragedy.

Keep on keepin on Winfield Family!

Det. Daniel R. Jones #2079 (Med.Ret)
Columbus, Ohio Division of Police

Det. Daniel R. Jones #2079 (Med. Ret)
Columbus, Ohio Division of Police

October 13, 2005

Our family is thinking of your family today. Broken hearts, broken dreams; I don't think I will ever believe this is really our life now. God bless your precious little family.

Love,
Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom
Jesse Matthew Rittenhouse,
e.o.w.9/16/04

October 13, 2005

This is my Shield
I bear it before me into Battle
But it is not mine alone
It Protects my brother on the left
It protects my city
I will never let my brother out of its shadow
Nor my city out of it's shelter
I will die with my shield before me
Facing the enemy.


On this, the 1st Anniversary of the end of your watch, though I never knew you, you my my utmost respect. You gave the ultimate sacrafice that you could give to the citizens of Marion County. Though you are gone, you will never be forgotten.

A warrior can lose
But will never be defeated.
A warrior can be beaten
But can never be conquered.
A warrior will die
But will never perish.

Rest in Peace my brother and my God comfort the one's you left behind.

Special Agent

October 13, 2005

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you Sheriff Brandy, and you will never be forgotten. Sara and family, I know how hard this time is I wish there was something magical I could say to help, but we all know there is nothing. When we approched Clint's E.O.W. date, I decided to say it was Clint's first birthday in Heaven, instead of his anniversary date. We all gathered at the cementary to wish him a Happy First Birthday, and soon it will be his second birthday in Heaven and the pain is the same, we just learn to live with it.
Sara I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family as this difficult time approaches, "what am I thinking", everyday without Brandy is difficult. Just know that I'm thinking of you.

Connie Barker
Mother of Clint Walker E.O.W. 1-14-04

October 13, 2005