Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Been thinking of ya. I wrote a coulple of letters to your mom and dad, never sent them. Just wanted to let you know I've been a better officer, father, husband, son, brother.

Officer Jason Pendleton
ODNR Parks & Rec.

November 27, 2005

My Christmas Prayer, by Bebe Winans

I pray for peace
Blessings and honor
Heaven right earth's despair
This is my Christmas prayer

For those that grieve
God will bring comfort
Laughter will rapture there
This is my Christams prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer

I pray for you (Yes I know you do)
That your triupmh and conquer
Poses the strength you need to bare
This is my Christmas prayer

For those in need
There would be plenty
And each other's burdens share
Oh, this is my Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer, Oh

So let hope fill our hearts (Let's let hope fill our hearts)
Shine the light through the dark
All around the world
And everywhere
I will pray
This Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas
This is my Christmas prayer

See I pray that love will rule and reign
And I pray that time will rid the pain of this world
As we learn to trust and care
This is my Christmas prayer
This is my Christmas prayer

November 26, 2005

Bran,
We went to Mom's for Thanksgiving yesterday. The food was awesome as usual. I stuffed myself beyond my wildest dreams and loved every last bite. Of course you know Mom, the house is already decorated for Christmas.

They got a 4 wheeler so the boys bundled up and took a couple of rides. They were both really good. Tyler fell in the driveway. He had a pretty good red mark on his cheek. Later I met your parents. They took the boys for the rest of the evening. They are keeping them all weekend.

I noticed they have hung several pictures at the Sheriff's office the other day. They have one of you and Bill Bender with your nameplates. They have pictures from the London memorial service. They also have some of the past. Two of them had Spike in them. The Sheriff pointed out one and said that is probably the badge Brandy had on his coat. The Sheriff was very receptive to our COPS fundraising ideas. I have to say that I am impressed. He is doing really well. I seriously think your death affected him beyond what I orginally thought. He mentioned that he has repeatedly listened to the radio traffic. He wants to put a display case in the front office for the two of you. I am proud that your office is not only honoring you but Bill as well. I am glad that they have finally stepped up to give him the honor he deserves as well. The sheriff has been adamant that they won't honor one and not the other. I am glad. When they put the decals on the cruiser is has both your unit numbers.

Well after what I have seen you know I ight never eat Combos or Milk Duds again....You know what I am talking about. I saw a big bag of Combos at the store the other day and wanted to puke.

I am heading out to do some Christmas shopping....the craziest day of the year for it. I am going to get Landon some more Gameboy stuff because he is really loving the gameboy. I might get Tyler a gameboy too. I also want to clean this house while the boys are gone....

Missing you very much. Thanksgiving isn't the same without you......Love you

Sara

November 25, 2005

Bran,
HAPPY TURKEY DAY.......

I hope you are getting all the good food up there that we are eating here, because I know that you woulden't miss it for anything. It's hard to believe that it's almost christmas time again. This week was the first snow I bet you were watching those boys make snow angels and be in aww. I went to the toughman this past weekend and it just wasen't the same, because the last time I went you were working. I really miss you alot.
Bran I will talk to you later, Love Ya
Kasey

Kasey Williamson

November 24, 2005

HAPPY THANKSGIVING BRANDY!!!!!!

November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving, buddy. I am thankful for the times we had and for just knowing you. Still miss you, bud.

MC
Dublin, OH

November 24, 2005

Bran,
It has been a hectic few days. The police and fire football game was held in Marion. The firefighters won this year....but hey I know you wouldn't mind that. The boys had a great time playing football with your dad.

I got your watch and cell phone from evidence. I am waiting to find out if I can get a few more things. The rest has to stay in evidence until all opportunities for appeal are exhausted. I got the photos I requested also. They were very difficult to see. I thought I was fine, that tough exterior you learn to have I guess. However I was exhausted tonight, my back hurt, I didn't feel good. I do this to myself everytime. I asked for a copy of the radio traffic and 911 calls also. The Sheriff seemed a little apprehensive, asking if I was sure. I told him that is a way for me to process some of this grief. I need to know as much as possible to deal with these feelings I have. Plus having been a dispatcher and knowing you so well, I will be able to answer questions I have in my mind. I knew at the beginning that things in the investigation weren't right. I argued when they told me you didn't have on your seatbelt. In the end, they found out that you did. It was a key piece of evidence to the fact thatyou were not driving the cruiser when you were shot. I knew that you always wore your seatbelt.

I remember that time you got a belt ticket from a trooper. You took it off to answer your cell phone. I told you to put it back on. You looked at me shaking your head and said, "Sara nobody is going to write a ticket for a seatbelt." Needless to say OSP does write seatbelt tickets, especially on holiday weekends. I gave you the I told you so grin and you just wanted to smack me. Okay, I had to be smug on that one I couldn't help myself. I don't think it was even a mile down the road after this coversation that we passed the trooper. After your two tickets from troopers you vowed to never offer professional courtesy to another trooper in your life....but I know you did.

I remember how excited you were when you pulled over a car with Dale Earnhardt Jr in it. He was coming back from the Michigan race. I asked if you wrote him a ticket. Of course you didn't....You could have had one REALLY cool ticket and you didn't write it because you were so impressed to have a famous person in front of you.

I listened to all the voice memo messages you left on your phone tonight. I found the one you recorded of the mad cow...I had forgotten all about that. I could hear you laughing in the background at it. I remember the night you recorded that off the computer. You thought that was one of the funniest things you had ever heard. The rest were all license plates you came across and wanted to run later. I also saw all the people that called your phone, most were in the hours after you were killed. Mostly friends and deputies from other counties, probably trying to find out who got hurt in Marion County. The last call besides the Sheriff's Office was to one of your buddies at around midnight. I called him and found out what you guys were talking about. Recently I have wanted to know everything you were doing in the moments before you died. I obsess about it in my mind. It helps to know some of this stuff for some reason.

I have been frustrated with the victim process with DRC. I am trying to decide if I am being difficult wanting more information than the typical victim or if their system just sucks. I got their victim's policy and procedure. It helped some. Now I am trying to decide the best way to approach this. I don't want to burn bridges but I don't think the information they offer is enough. They seem very protective of the inmate's rights for a victim's service. I am still thinking about it and trying to let myself cool off before I proceed any further. I have some ideas....

Landon has been doing well at wrestling practice. He doesn't really get all the moves down just right. The coach said at his age, as long as he learns 2 moves really well that is good. He does have a lot of enthusiam for it though. That is important in any sport....You weren't always the best at everything you did but you gave it your all. That is the important lesson for him to learn. I am going to ask the coach if he has any video tapes of people wrestling. I know Landon is really observant of that and mimics others. He tends to slap at the person then fall down instead of locking up with them and trying to wrestle. Hayden came to practice with us the other night. It was so cute because Hayden and Tyler were laying next to the mat where Landon was practicing. Tyler kept saying that's my brother. Hayden was very impressed. He told Missy that Landon won when they got home.

Landon and Tyler came to bowling with me tonight. Aunt Marilyn came with me to help watch them while I bowled. They had fun. Tyler came running down at one point and said, "Hey Mom wanna watch me get a strike." How can you say no to that....Landon had a couple strikes. He plays Polar Bowler on the computer and Strike Force on the playstation all the time. He is really good at Polar Bowler. He had 4 strikes in a row tonight. We were cleaning out the toys in the basement this week. I found his gameboy that Missy got him last year for Christmas. He has been playing it all day. Tyler is working on potty training. He wore big boy underwear the other day for most of the day. He did pee in them once. I told him the other day, "Don't you want to be like Logan and wear underwear all the time. If you start peeing on the potty all the time, Mommy will buy you some new underwear." He said, "Yeah I want Dora underwear." YIKES....Logan wears Dora underwear. Maybe I can find some boy ones with Boots on them or something. He is more Dora crazy than Landon even was. The other day when we were picking out a toy at K-Mart, Tyler didn't want any of the cool boy stuff. He got a Dora backpack. Luckily it wasn't the same day he won the pink poodle with high heels. He would have looked real cute coming out of K-Mart with a Dora Backpack on carrying a pink poodle with high heels. Add in those Dora underwear and he would just be as cute as could be......

I have rambled on enough for tonight....Missing you very much. I will eat some extra green bean casserole for you. I know you loved it. I love you.

Sara

November 22, 2005

Brandy
Well the buckeyes pulled another one out of their you know what this year and beat the team up north. You would have been all over the house driving Sara absolutely nuts on this game. I didn't go but I had to leave the house and go outside for a while cause I was so nervous. We left a buckeye with you before we came home Saturday. Wanted you to get all ready for the game too!! I had Ty cause Sara took Landon to a football game in West Virginia and we were eating at Red Lobster and Ty told the watress that Michigan Sucks!! Don't know where he would have heard that from any of us!! Thats your boy over and over huh!!! You know I would lead him right when it came to the buckeyes huh! This Thursday I sure will miss you scarfing up all the food I cook and wanting to take some home with you. I made stockings out of construction paper for every fallen police officer in the state of Ohio for the blue light ceremoney this year. Total of 707 police officers in Ohio have died in the line of duty. Didn't realize there was that many until I decided to do this for all of you that gave the ultimate sacrifice. First one was 1823. Hope you all like them and plan on putting them on a Christmas tree for everyone who comes to review.
You have a good Thanksgiving with all your buddies and I will make sure and feed your babies good Thursday and remember we all love and miss you very much kiddo!!!! Love Mom Colyer

Johnna

November 22, 2005

Brandy, I was in Richwood this weekend at Uncle Bob and Aunt Bonnie. I came down too spend a early Thanksgiving with my Dad's Family in MT Victory. I came down on Friday The 18th. I thought I could save time by going down RT 30, then RT 4. Ihave never been on that side of 4 and forgot that I would have tomake some quik turns. Well I met a Marion county deputy sheriff. I got his last name it was carpenter. He was real nice and he even knew where Macedonia was. Anyway I think I'll go the way I know. I call my little trips Debbie's Mystery Trip's.

I stopped at the cemetery and visited with you. The monument is awesome. You standing proud,and you and Sara in Hawaii for your wedding, and giving the I Love You Sign. I cried when I read the verses on the back of your Headstone. I know you are watching Landon and Tyler and how proud you are of them and how Sara is doing agreat job. Well I better say goodnight and I'll talk to you againe.

Debbie Gray

Debbie Gray

November 21, 2005

HEY BRANDY,

GO BUCKS !!!!!!

POWDER

November 18, 2005

Hey Bran,

Wanted to say Hi. The holidays are fast approaching and the fall weather is quickly changing to winter. It sometimes reminds me of how I felt last year. I'm still sad and still wonder why this happened and still can't believe that it did, but this year is much better than last year. I think the holidays will be a little better this year, with the kids at the age they are it sure does help. Your little girl is sure getting big. She is potty trained now!! She hasn't worn a pull-up for about a week. She is doing great no accidents. She looks at my "6" necklace all the time and says Uncle Brandy? I say yep, and she says she wants one. Sara ordered a little one for her for x-mas. You would just be eating her up now. You always did anyway. Hayden is playing Basketball. He got 3 touchdowns at the end of the football season. I'm sure you watched from above and was proud. He is so into Ted Ginn this year. Everything he wants for x-mas is Ted Ginn. I think that is pretty cool. He is getting so big that he don't want as many toys anymore. (I'm glad- you know toys just pile up and don't get played with) Your kids still have mountains of toys but they actually play with many of them, the only time toys are out at my house is when the boys are there.

I'm really excited about the trip to Disney in January. Wish you were going with us though, I know you will be in spirit and watching us have fun from above. Sara often reminds Landon how you would want us to do fun things and have fun and be happy.

Well Rick and Mike are heading to the big game this weekend, in the big Sh-t hole Michigan. Keep an eye out for them, and as you fly over the stadium, can you take a big hawk crap on some of the enemy fans? That would be really good (I can see your big grin now) No, really, lets just get a BIG win.

GO BUCKS!!!

Miss you

Missy

missy

November 17, 2005

hey brandy,
saw you in the tree in the backyard sunday. it was so wierd sam and i were just talking about you earlier in the day and then there was the most wonderful site in the tree. it seems like lately can't go anywhere without somebody talking about you.. you are so missed.. well gracie is getting so big i think she'll be walking by christmas. sam is getting the plow ready for the snow. he still hasn't found anyone to help him. he had asked you at the popcorn festival last year but hasn't bothered trying to find anyone else. you were the only one he felt comftorable with watch over him as he is out there be his passanger. thank miss you

November 16, 2005

Bran,
Landon had his first wrestling practice. He was so proud. He did very well. I bought him wrestling shoes. When I picked him up the other night from your parents I showed him. He wanted to know if Nana, Pa, and me were going to be in the stands cheering Landon Riley, Landon Riley and would he win, and would he get a trophy and his shoes were REALLY cool. I cracked up. It was so cute.

He had a hard time doing some of the warm up exercises but he tried his best. He just copied off the older boys. He can't do push ups or sit ups yet. He doesn't really understand everything he is supposed to do but he does listen really well. I was very proud of him. At times I felt sad though because you should be here showing him what to do. I try I just don't know how good I am at stuff like this. A lot of the other little boys had their Dad's there to help them or volunteer to coach. I thought about volunteering myself but I just don't know what I am doing so I don't think I could help much.

Tonight is Lindsey's birthday. She wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese....Landon is very excited. We bought her a SpongeBob Square Pants game. Landon helped wrap it. He went a little crazy with the tape. It was fun though.

Landon and I made a scrapbook for counseling. We put pictures of you and him in it. Hopefully this helps. It is really cute. When I was working on the computer he wanted to show you the scrapbook. He held the scrapbook up to a picture of you and told you all about it.

We have to get ready to leave for Chuck E Cheese.....yeah....Skeeball watch out here comes the Winfield Family....Skeeball Champs.

Love you. Missing you very much.

Sara

November 15, 2005

Bran,
I was just sitting here reading some of the old reflections. Funny how some emotions are just as raw as the day you died.....

I was reading the ones about going through the stuff in your cruiser. I just remembered something we found. Your plans to buy a dumptruck.....I laughed and told Lee what they were. You had it all written out, how much the loan would be, how much it would cost, all the details. It cracked me up that you were still trying to figure out how you were going to chase this dream. You had been talking about getting a dump truck and I told you we couldn't afford it. I tried to explain all the cost involved and the time it would take to run your own business. I think we had some pretty heated discussions about it. Matt came over a few weeks before you died. The two of you sat out on the front step drinking beer and talking. Later he confessed that you two were talking about a dump truck....I remember you messing with him about his firefighters for Kerry bumper sticker. He picked up your law enforcement for Bush sign and tossed it across the yard.

You were so excited about the elections. You and Brian were constantly talking about them. I got so tired of hearing all the political talk....but I just supported you where I thought you needed it. I was nervous but I knew you were following what you thought was right. I kept reminding you of the March primaries and how disappointed and scared you were after them. We all went to the FOP lodge on election night. It was bitter sweet because I knew how excited you were about it. From what I heard there wasn't much to worry about. Your office seems to be doing very well. I have to say I am suprised. There are lots of changes up that way and most of them have been positive. I have to wonder if it is bacause what happened to you changed some people's views of what is important or were these changes that would have happened regardless..... There has been some media attention on your office again. And I have to think that you have a smirk and a I TOLD YOU SO look on your face at this moment....What comes around goes around...Hopefully it continues to work that way for some others that need it. Yikes and I thought I was letting go of some of the bitter feelings. I guess some wounds never heal. I have to say for the most part I have been impressed with your office. A year ago I would have never thought that....but I guess changes can be made. Your office has been helpful in some ideas I have for COPS. They have worked with me and I have a meeting with the Sheriff later this month. Hopefully it goes well. They have been very supportive since our meeting. He has went out of his way to make sure that any request I have is fulfilled to the best of his ability. I think you would be happy to know that....I proceed with caution and try to remember how you would want me to handle things....I just don't know if you knew how things would be once you were gone. Some things are so different then you think they would be...You can imagine this in your mind but you will never know until you walk this path.

I did some Christmas shopping tonight. I got the boys the cutest outfits from GAP to have their pictures taken in. I just know they will look so handsome. I have a button of Landon's school picture on my jacket. Everyone in the stores commented on how much he looked like Mommy. I said, "Oh No you haven't seen Daddy." I don't think I can take much credit for how handsome our little guy is...maybe the blue eyes that you always loved on all three of us.

I called to check on the boys today. They are having a blast as usual. Tyler had a lot to say, half of which I couldn't understand but I just talked away with him. At one point I said, "Have you been a good boy." He let out a big sigh and said, "No". That just cracked me up. Landon got hit in the face with a baseball bat and has a mark. He wanted to know if I was going to pick him up. He has been so clingy recently and I know he is struggling to cope. He just won't open up to the counselor. He keeps asking questions about if everyone dies or gets hurt. He didn't want me to bowl the other night after the lady fell because he was afraid I would get hurt. Tonight I bought a mini scrap book. I am going to make him a special scrapbook of pictures with you. I might write a story with it about how much Daddy loved him. I am going to take it to counseling with him. Hopefully it will help him open up to her some.

They have been touching on different careers at pre-school. They took a walk down to a construction site one day. Another day his teacher's husand brought in a bob cat to let all the kids see. I am going to call to see if they will be covering firefighters, medics, or policemen. I think it will be important for me to join him at school that day. It might open up some stuff that the teachers won't know how to deal with. I am sure they would do fine, I just worry so much....

I have been struggling myself. Some days are better than others. I am still trying to convince myself that it is real. Sometimes the pain is so deep that I just can't bear it....I replay certain thoughts through my head so much and really overthink the whole situation....I just can't control it. I try to focus on the good memories. Sometimes some of those others just creep up on me. Tonight driving home from the mall I just thought of this past year and how difficult it has been. However I am a stronger person because of it. I just can't figure out God's purpose in all of this......I know I just have to continue this path that has been set for me, keep my chin up, and I will soon enough know his plan. You know me I hate suprises....

Missing you very much. Love you.....Wish I could see you in the morning.

Sara

November 12, 2005

Bran,
I signed Landon up for wrestling..yeah I know. I wanted to do basketball but the games were the same day as bowling league. I think he will actually like. He can at least try it out. He will have to wear one of those singlets....Wonder if he will put that on for me. He was very excited about it.

He has been having a rough time lately. He is so concerned about people getting hurt. A lady fell at bowling the other night. A squad came to transport her. Landon was so upset. He is still asking if she is okay. He sat at the table the other night before we left for bowling. He started crying and said, "I miss my Daddy, I just want him to come home." We talked for a little bit about how much you love heaven and that you want all of us to be happy again but that it is okay to be sad too because we all miss his Daddy. I reminded him that you watch him everyday from heaven and are very proud of him. Aunt Marilyn was here when that happened. It just tore her heart out. She said it made her want to go kill the scumbag that did this to her. I know how she feels but I we all have to get over the anger. He got his sentence, now we need to work on making life good again.

Marilyn and I talked about it tonight. It is so frustrating that we can't "fix" Landon or do something to make him feel better. The counselor thinks he is repressing a lot of emotions. I think he thinks about it constantly....He talks about it a lot. He relates everything back to either you, death, or getting hurt.

He has been doing so well with his ABC's. We have been playing 2 of our abc games all the time. He is really starting to recognize different letters. He got his school pictures back. They are AWESOME. He has a big smile and his blue eyes and long eyelashes really stand out.

Tyler has been his usual self. He exhausts me at times, but I guess that is what a 2 year old does to a mommy... He is so opinionated. Wander where that comes from??? Has to be you, ha ha. I am going to enroll him in preschool in January. I think he will really like it. He does really good with scissors and drawing. He mimics Landon alot. Yesterday when we got out of the shower he had to tuck his towel around his chest then wrap another one around his wet hair (like Mommy). I thought Oh NO!!! Bran would kill me. He also really likes to put on my deodorant and lipstick....Sorry is all I can say I guess. He'll make a woman a good man someday with all his feminine qualities. I promise I won't paint his nails....One of the costumes he wanted at Halloween was a cheerleading outfit..

Logan is cracking me up. She is talking up a storm. I carried on a full conversation with her about Santa tonight. She wants a 6 with angel wings necklace for Christmas. I ordered her a mini one on a mini chain. She is hitting the terrible twos also just not as bad as Ty yet.

The boys are at your parents for the weekend. Landon doesn't have school tomorrow. I am going to clean this house from top to bottom.. Like it will stay that way very long. I am thinking about painting the walls a darker color. Not so many little dirty handprints will show up that way. I am going to brave going through all your stuff in the basement. When I moved I just put some stuff down there because I wasn't ready to go through it. I think I can handle it now. It seems minor to some of the other things I have done in the past year now.

Love you. Missing you very much.

Sara

November 10, 2005

Brandy, You are still greatly missed and thought about everday. Keep watch over us all.

November 10, 2005

Hey Bran! Just wanted to write to say hello. Also the bucks won again go bucks. I hope you liked your angle it reminded me so much of you. I miss you alot.The boys are getting big landon looks so much like you. He looks so much like you. I wish I could say that this is getting easier,but it is not. Just want you to know how much I love and miss you. love your cousin
Manda

November 5, 2005

Bran,
Trick or Treat was last night. The boys were so cute. I even dressed up this year. I was a witch. We got some pretty good pictures of the three of us in our costumes. Landon was a real trooper....he only got scared a few times. Landon's speech therapist told me to make sure to stop at her house. They had it all decorated with several scary figures in the yard, one was a real man in a costume that stood perfectly still. He scared Missy half to death when she tried to take a picture of him and he moved. Landon was a scared of that but he didn't totally freak out. Tyler walked right up to him and wanted him to move again. He tried to carry on a conversation with him. That's our Ty Ty. Later Landon tried to act brave and told me he liked all the scary costumes. Tyler was difficult. He ran ahead of all of us at the beginning then he slowed down later. He walked up to one house where nobody was home and was determined to get candy there. I had to drag him off the porch. Meanwhile Landon was three house down and marching on. Luckily Mom, Mike, Missy, and Rick were with me. Logan was the cutest Indian Princess I have ever seen. You would never beleive how much she is talking. It is funny she is a mini me of Missy. I think it is wierd how both of our older children look like you and Rick, and the younger ones look like Missy and me.

Tyler is hitting the terrible 2's fierce. He has an opinion on everything and it is usually the opposite of what I want him to do. We have been butting heads daily. He has a VERY strong will. Landon has been really good. He is in a bit of a whiney stage though. He doesn't scream or cry as much as he used to when he doesn't get his way. He just whines. I don't know which is worse at times. The whining I guess isn't as bad as battling the will of a child. He hasn't had an accident in several days. I really need to tackle potty training with Tyler. Now that everything has slowed down I think I will start working on that before he starts pre-school.

I bought a new kitchen table. The one you got me doesn't match the woodwork in the new house. I had a hard time deciding to do that because that was the last Christmas gift you ever bought me. Missy is taking the old table with a promise to save it for the boys. I read your New's Eve Letter the other night about the Christmas presents. I smiled....at first it was hard to read that letter. I can smile when I read stuff like that now...but at times it is still not real. At times it is a shock that you are really gone. In a way it is like you are going to come home at some point. At times my heart still leaps in my chest when I think he is really dead. I replay pictures of you in my mind over and over again. It used to be pictures of your last moments, of you in the casket, or something like that. Now they are of good times together...your smile, you laughing your whole body shaking but no sound coming out, the sound of your voice, you wrestling with the boys, shooting hoops in Landon's bedroom..they are good ones now.

Well Landon has school today. I have to pack his lunch and get him dressed. I miss you very much, I love you.

Sara

November 1, 2005

brandy,

The weekend was so pretty. The leaves are changing and falling fast. I hope it isn't along winter. I think about you everyday. Sara and the boys are always on my mind. They have a wonderful and helping family that will always be there. Look down on us and keep us safe. I will talk to you later.
Debbie Gray

Debbie Gray

October 31, 2005

Sara,
I never really got the chance to say thank you for you and the other ladies time while in Chillicothe for Larry's funeral. You all were fantastic.
My wife and I rode along with several other Officers and Deputies from Ross County to the poker run in June. It was very visable by the turn out that Brandy was loved by so very many people.
Just wanted to say thanks and God bless you and the children.
Eric McKee Chilli PD

Ofc. Eric McKee
Chillicothe PD

October 30, 2005

Bran,
The boys had bowling league yesterday. Landon is doing so well using his finger holes to throw the ball. He looks so much like you. He even approaches the line crooked. Your Mom said something about it yesterday, I said well his Daddy did the same thing. She said you got yelled at so much in junior league because you did everything wrong. Some how you still managed to be an awesome bowler even doing it all wrong. Tyler has improved alot. He even beat Landon yesterday. Landon got a spare. He came running up, I said good job you got a spare. As innocent as can be he said, "Do I get a trophy?" It was so cute. I just had to give him a big hug. Tyler bowled a couple of frames with his Halloween mask on. It was very comical. He was trying to scare all the other kids.

They stayed with your Mom and Dad last night. They took them to the FOP Halloween party. Your Dad says they had a blast.

I had a SUPRISE birthday party for Angie last night. It was fun. All the kids wore their Halloween costumes. I told Angie it was a costume party. I about caused her and Mark to break up. I sent him the invitation on e-mail. She was standing behind him when he opened it. He quickly deleted it so she couldn't read it then wouldn't tell her what it was. All week she has been mad at him about it. As soon as she walked in the door and we yelled suprise Mark told her the e-mail was from me.

We have had a couple parties like this one. It reminds me of the parties we used to have in Richwood before the kids were born. Troy, Besty, Melissa, Rich, Ryan, you, and me would play board games and cards well into the night. I remember we had to use Jake's cage as an extra table. Some nights Monte and Betty would come over and we would play that homemade WAHOO game. Monte always brought a 2 liter of pop and drank the whole thing. We had such a good time. We played catch phrase last night. That is so much fun. I remember you in that stupid fisherman's hat (your lucky card hat) trying to get all the guys to say a word. You were terrible at that game. We all laughed at you. Sometimes your hints had nothing to do with the word. You always took it in stride though. I miss those times. We had so much fun. It is nice to have friends that I can do that with again. People that aren't afraid to have fun like that. Living life out loud.....You were always good at that. You lived it to the fullest.

I am going Christmas shopping today so I must be going. I actually feel like doing it this year. I could barely do it last year. Missing you very much. I love you.

Sara

October 30, 2005

I heard this saying today and thought of Brandy.

REMEMBER ME WITH SMILES AND LAUGHTER
FOR THAT IS HOW I WILL REMEMBER YOU ALL
IF YOU CAN ONLY REMEMBER ME WITH TEARS
THEN DON'T REMEMBER ME AT ALL.

October 29, 2005

Sara,

I met you and Jennifer Aaron briefly in Washington DC when my husband served as escort officer for Denise Zimmerman. It has been a while since I've been on the site and see that the one year anniversary since you tragically lost Brandy recently past. I want you to know that you and your two beautiful boys, and of course Brandy, are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. We too have two small boys and cannot even begin to imagine for a moment what it is like to walk in your shoes. You are obviously an incredibly strong and brae person, although I am sure there are times when you don't feel like you are. May the love and memories that you and Brandy shared continue to wrap you with love and strength.

Colleen Brandt
Proud Wife of a NJ State Trooper

October 26, 2005

I'll Be There - The Escape Club

Over Mountains
Over Trees
Over Oceans
Over Seas
I'll be there
In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there
On the edge of a waking dream
Over Rivers
Over Streams
Through Wind and Rain
I'll be there
Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there
In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh, there's no need to cry
Just think of me,
And I'll be there

October 26, 2005

Bran,
Missy took the boys trick or treating at one of the nursing homes in town tonight while I bowled. They had fun. Landon told me he was really scared of the clown. Hopefully he makes it through Halloween without freaking out first. Tyler didn't take a nap today. I am paying for it now. He is crying about everything and refusing to sleep. He keeps getting up screaming. He is so tired he can barely keep his eyes open.

Aunt Marilyn took the boys to a high school football game Friday night. My cousin is the head coach for the school. He brought the boys into the locker room. They got in the huddle and yelled family. Tyler was very impressed he relayed the whole story to me in vivid detail. He also told me that you were there with him in the huddle. I can't help but think that maybe little ones see angels that we don't see. That maybe you joined the boys in that huddle the other night. Tyler believes it....

I was thinking that I never posted your psalm on here. The only passage you had marked in your bible. It speaks volumes to me.

Psalm 35
Prayer for Deliverance from Enemies
Of David.
1 Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me!
2 Take hold of shield and buckler, and rise up to help me!
3 Draw the spear and javelin against my pursuers; say to my soul, "I am your salvation."
4 Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life. Let them be turned back and confounded who devise evil against me.
5 Let them be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them on.
6 Let their way be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.
7 For without cause they hid their net for me; without cause they dug a pit for my life.
8 Let ruin come on them unawares. And let the net that they hid ensnare them; let them fall in it--to their ruin.
9 Then my soul shall rejoice in the LORD, exulting in his deliverance.
10 All my bones shall say, "O LORD, who is like you? You deliver the weak from those too strong for them, the weak and needy from those who despoil them."
11 Malicious witnesses rise up; they ask me about things I do not know.
12 They repay me evil for good; my soul is forlorn.
13 But as for me, when they were sick, I wore sackcloth; I afflicted myself with fasting. I prayed with head bowed on my bosom,
14 as though I grieved for a friend or a brother; I went about as one who laments for a mother, bowed down and in mourning.
15 But at my stumbling they gathered in glee, they gathered together against me; ruffians whom I did not know tore at me without ceasing;
16 they impiously mocked more and more, gnashing at me with their teeth.
17 How long, O LORD, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my life from the lions!
18 Then I will thank you in the great congregation; in the mighty throng I will praise you.
19 Do not let my treacherous enemies rejoice over me, or those who hate me without cause wink the eye.
20 For they do not speak peace, but they conceive deceitful words against those who are quiet in the land.
21 They open wide their mouths against me; they say, "Aha, Aha, our eyes have seen it."
22 You have seen, O LORD; do not be silent! O Lord, do not be far from me!
23 Wake up! Bestir yourself for my defense, for my cause, my God and my Lord!
24 Vindicate me, O LORD, my God, according to your righteousness, and do not let them rejoice over me.
25 Do not let them say to themselves, "Aha, we have our heart's desire." Do not let them say, "We have swallowed youe up."
26 Let all those who rejoice at my calamity be put to shame and confusion; let those who exalt themselves against me be clothed with shame and dishonor.
27 Let those who desire my vindication shout for joy and be glad, and say evermore, "Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare of his servant."
28 Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness and of your praise all day long.



I think a psalm for a cop if there is one....Ironic that you had this marked. I know the story of why, though few do. Maybe if the justice system followed the bible a little more closely, it would be more just. But I know that you spoke to us, he will meet his God in the end and you have asked the lord to avenge your death....Hopefully sooner than later so we can rejoice.

I love you. I miss you so very much these past few weeks, even more than ever.

Sara

October 25, 2005