Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Matt,
Your mom left a wonderful message on my son's page....with a mom like that, you had to be a very special person. The pain we share is like nothing else, and the only comfort is that we share it together....somehow that helps a little.

Mrs. Rittenhouse, thank you. I wish I had thought of being so kind as to leave reflections on anniversaries. You can't imagine how much that meant to us.

I wish you peace, and can tell you, even though the void of their loss only gets bigger, somehow, God gives us the strength to wake up each morning and the outward tears come less frequently. We are approaching out second year, and we are still standing. It will happen for you also. Every once in a while, though, a cold, sharp pain goes through my heart as I realize the awful truth.

If you go to DC next year, please be sure to look us up. You sound like someone I would love to meet and call my friend.

Thank you again for your kindness.

Mary Fisher

Mother
Deptuy Kevin M. Sherwood, EOW 10/09/03

October 5, 2005

Jess -

Thank you for leaving a reflection for my Daniel. It was so sweet of you and after a long, hard day it is nice to know that someone care's. Yes, the road has been a tough one to bear. Everyday is a challenge. But like you said - I draw strength from God and press on. After all, its all I can do and Daniel would expect nothing less.

I pray for your family often - your mom is so sweet. I am sorry you lost your brother I know it can be painful. Just know we are praying for you in Florida. I have heard great things about your brother and I am sure you are so proud of him!

Love,
Jessica Ruhl
Fiancee of Police Officer Dan Starks
EOW 10-25-03

October 4, 2005

matt,

ah suga, you know what i've gotten myself into?? i'm gonna be undertaking a real big bike ride...and you'd better be on my tail the whole time...what am i thinking??

i'm thinking i love you...and miss you so much right now.

your 'lil sis,
jess

October 3, 2005

Matt your cross is awesome. It still is hard to believe you are not here, I guess that's because you're presence is still felt so strongly. I hope it is always like that. You had the wildest, craziest, thought processes I've ever known. You have left us your spirit, we'll never forget you bro.

Fellow officer
roane county

October 3, 2005

To Matt, Linda, family and friends:

Matt I wanted you to know that I have visited your site quite often, I love reading your tributes, I hope you don't mind. Even though I didn't know you personally, by reading your tributes it makes me realize how much you loved life, and family, and being a police officer. I know that you and Clint have come to know each other quite well, I can only imagine the two of you in Heaven keeping everyone laughing. Just don't forget to keep sending those pennies our way, we love finding them and have quite the collection.

Linda, thank you for the wonderful words you left on Clint's site. You are so right in the fact that I know that Clint and Matt would have been friends and probally are now. And yes their is not a day that goes by that I don't think about Clint, Matt and all the other Officers, I have shed many a tear. We have a blue candle in our front window that burns every day and night for all of our boys that have given their life in the Line of Duty. They will never be forgotten. I wish I could have been there for Matt's candelight, I would love to be able to sit and just talk about our boys, someday soon maybe.
I can't imagine my life without Clint, but somehow I've managed to get up every morning and go to work and I've learned to survive. I guess that's why we call it C.O.P.S. (Concerns of Police Survivors) some days are harder than others, I know you know. I'm sorry for rambling, I hate that this has happen to you and I wish we could turn back the clocks. Just know that I'm here, I love to talk.

Perhaps they are not stars, but openings in the Heaven where the love of our loved ones pours through and shines upon us to let us know they are happy: They will be with us forever.

I'm always looking up, because I know he is looking down.

Connie Barker
Mother of Clint Walker E.O.W. 1-14-04

October 3, 2005

Life is not a problem to be solved,
It is a mystery to be lived.

Life is precious, but love is eternal.

You are love.

October 1, 2005

Dearest Son of My Life,
Matthew, I'm struggling baby boy. It's just too hard to not see you. Your candlelight vigil was beautiful, chief and all the officers met with us at the cemetary for a private service and then escorted us to the pd. I spoke for and about you. I had too. I could hear you saying "settle down mom" when I was describing you as my perfect son:). Perfectly wonderful, perfectly crazy, perfectly outrageous, and perfectly beautiful in your love for your family and friends. It's just so hard to be without YOU. I had a dream about you the other night, you were about 3 or 4 and you were rolling your little precious body all around in my lap just laughing your head off. It was so wonderful, I could actually feel you. I remember when you were born and the dr. said, "you have a great big boy" I started laughing and daddy laid his head on me and started crying. Pure joy. Twenty-five years, not even close to being enough time to be your mom. You filled up all of our lives with You. I remember how I would be so happy to see you walk in the door at the shop and then be ready to kick both you and Jessica out 30 minutes later because you would both be getting so rowdy I thought you all were going to tear the shop up. Or you and Jenny would be picking at each other so badly I would almost have to separate you, just like when you all were little and couldn't stand to touch each other in the car. I miss it all. Always I miss the gift of what we were to each other. Being a mother has been my greatest joy on this earth, it's all I ever wanted to be, and now part of that has been ripped away from me. Memories are wonderful, but they can never make up for not having you here. I found a little book the other day that I would have put in your christmas stocking (along with the fruit and nuts that you would never take out): "A Lucky Few Have a Son Like You". I read a little verse at the vigil from it..."You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes." Matthew you are my hero, you always were, and you always will be. At the police memorial in Washington they would say, It is not how these officers died that makes them heroes, it is how they lived. You lived, oh how you lived. Would that we should all learn from you and live our lives embracing it as you did. I long with all my heart for the day God is gracious and reunites us all as a family. The family is not whole without you, and we miss you more than anyone will ever know or understand.
I love you more than the world,
Momma

September 27, 2005

Dearest Matthew,
Your memorial vigil brought back a lot of memories. It was so beautiful seeing all of the candles lit just for you. Aunt Lennie spoke beautifully and Uncle Jesse sang so awsomely. It was so wonderful to see them as well as Jenny, Jessica, and Scott. I love you all so much. I saw your stone at the cemetary. It is absolutely incredible! I have never seen anything like it.
I've been mad at myself lately thinking of all the times I wish we could have shared together. But then, at the memorial I started to think of the memories with you that I do have. They are wonderful memories. They will never stray from my heart or mind. I feel so blessed to have known you. I am so honored to call you my cousin. You truely lived your life and enjoyed it. You made your dreams come true. You have inspired me to do the same. And when the time is right we will be reunited. You will forever and ever be in my heart. I love you and will see you again my dearest cousin.
Love, Sarah

September 18, 2005

Baby Boy, we're starting year two. I feel your presence stronger than ever. I love you more than the world. Forever and always through all eternity I will love you and be your mom.

September 17, 2005

Matt, Hardly a day has gone by this year that I don't find a penny and immediately think of you. Your stone was beautiful! Words can't even describe it. After everything was over last night, I got to spend some time with your family. The Chief and your dad were telling funny stories about things that have happened over the years and we were all laughing. You would have loved the stories and would have told a few yourself. We miss you buddy. Watch my back.

Major Benny Joseph
Harriman Police Department

September 17, 2005

Matt, Last night was so moving for everyone. All the lit candles for you were beautiful. I have a little bag of "Matt" pennies that I have collected through-out this year and was going to give them to Ethan for his collection. Your family, well, you already know, are an inspiration to us.
Keep on watching over our guys and we'll see you again one day.

Karen Joseph-wife and mom of HPD Offi

September 17, 2005

Dear Matt ... Thomas had his homecoming game last night and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be there for him and I also wanted to be with your family (who are wonderful and so proud of you)and friends. But my son told me to go to your candle light vigil he said, mom I understood you needed to be there and wished I could go to. He sure thought you where great. I hope you know how much you are loved and missed. I went to the cemetery and stood in the rain (the rain)looking at your stone it is just like you tall and proud.
Linda and Jess, thank you for raising a good boy and a great man. We love you and may God Bless us all.

Lavada

September 17, 2005

Matt,
Last night I went to your candle light vigil and it brought back a lot of emotions from that night one year ago. I was not my normal calm laid back self I was shaking as I light the candle of a person you was very close too and now this person has a special place in my heart as well. I watched her pretty brown eyes fill with tears as the ceromony closed and I felt helpless. Matt as with everyone I miss you still and want your family to know I am here. Your mom gave me two big hugs before I left and she told me she had tried to call me to make sure I knew about the vigil. Your mom is awesome I really admire her for being so strong even though I know its rough on her. Well I am going close now but I will do my best to help those close to that were close to you.
Love,
Blake K

Blake Kirkland
Durty Burd Inc.

September 16, 2005

You are a true hero and will never be forgotten. I know this day is one that will always be remembered by your family and close friends. There are no words I can say that will ease their pain. If there is any solace it will be that you lost your life while performing one of your lifes dreams, that being a police officer. Comfort your family and keep watch over them.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

September 16, 2005

Matt,

Today is a day that I'll never forget. I'll never forget the sounds of the dispatch office that night, the voices on the phone and radio, the rain. I'll never forget how much it hurt when I finally realized that you really was gone.

This morning I went to the cemetery cause I knew your stone was up and I wanted to see it and have a moment alone. When I pulled up and saw it out of the corner of my eye a world of emotions came out. It was raining, but not pouring. I got out of the car and stood and thought of how fitting your stone is and all of the memories I have of you. When I went to say goodbye, I put my hand on your stone and there was this huge roll of thunder that let out. I had to smile through my tears cause I couldn't help but think you had something to do with that.

Tonight your vigil was awesome. Someone said that you would have been impressed and I would have to agree. Your family are some of the strongest people I've ever met. Your mom told me that she had been looking for me and then handed me a picture of you. It really meant a lot to me.

My friend, I will never forget you. I'll never forget the times you made me laugh, the times you made me mad, the times you made me cry. I only knew you such a short time compared to some. But in those 2 years I have so many great memories that will last a lifetime and I will treasure them forever. Until we see you again, you are always in our thoughts, prayers, and hearts. I love you.

Amanda Redmon

September 16, 2005

I've heard it said that once you get through all the "firsts", birthday, father's day, holidays & anniversary, that things start to get easier. Thankfully, my husband retired before I had to experience that, but after reading these reflections, I can't imagine how you could ever get through this. Officer Rittenhouse was obviously a remarkable man, and a person like that will not soon be forgotten. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with the family and his brothers/sisters in blue during this sad day. May your faith and the support of family and friends help to comfort you today and in the days to come.

Tina Brooks (Wife of Retired Officer)
Henrico County, VA Mounted Unit

September 16, 2005

I never ever thought it was possible to miss one person so much... to miss his laugh, his smile, his hugs and kisses, his tears. As, I look back over the past year, I think of the millions of times I missed those things. I miss the idea of reminiscing with you and of laughing with you,and I know that you are one of the most amazing men I will ever know. I wish that I could be in Harriman tonight. I wish I could be there with all you family and friends as they remember. I know that God will hold your mom and dad, as well, as Jenny and Jessica in his arms tonight and give them peace. I know they will remember the wonderful memories and the wonderful man you became. I know that you will walk quitely and unseen amongst always, in our hearts, in our memories, in our love for an amazing God. I will carry you with me always. I love you.

September 16, 2005

Officer Rittenhouse / Matt,
We have never met. I would have never known of this website if it weren't for my fiancee also being called to patrol the golden streets of heaven.
By the reflections that have been left here in your honor and memory you have led an extrodinary life and have clearly touched many people.
I cannot be in Tennessee tonight, as I live states away, but I will light a candle in your honor and memory tonight, joining with all of those that also remember you. You will be remembered for everything you stood for and the way you lived your life. You have not been forgotten. You will never be forgotten.
To the family and friends of Matt, I hope you know that the sacrifice Matt has given will never be forgotten. He will be remembered by even those, like me, who never had the pleasure of meeting him in person. Matt was truly a hero. Hero's never die, but their spirit is given to each of us to carry on their memory.
I hope that through the tears today you see a ray of sunshine from up above to warm your spirit and touch your heart.
Take care of yourself and each other.
Luann

Luann
Fiancee of Jay Balchunas ~ EOW 11/05/2004

September 16, 2005

Today is the day. Please please please... be with your family in spirit today. They need your constant comfort through this very hard time. We are having a candlelight vigil for you tonight. I hope thousands of people show up tonight to shine a light for you. You have ment so much to so many others. We miss you very much. Please help all of us make it through this very sad day.

I love you and miss you, Jess

Exec. Secretary, Jessica Fink
Harriman Police Department

September 16, 2005

Sweet Matthew, today marks a year since God took you home but it still is so fresh. It's raining today and it makes me think God is washing over us with His own tears. It was raining the day you left us. How fitting I suppose. Hurricane Ivan contributed to your leaving us and now, because of Hurricane Katrina, today has been declared a National Day of Prayer. Again, how fitting that it's today. I received an e-mail just today that God knew would touch my heart and help me get through the day. For all who read this, especially you, Linda, Jesse, Jenny & Jessica, this is for you as well. The story goes like this: Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough". The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom". They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privace but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?". "Yes, I have", I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?". I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral", she said. When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough". May I ask what that means? She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire life to forget them.
It only took a minute in Matthew's presence to know he was special. But know, he will never be forgotten. Even though we wish we could have had more time with you here, I pray God will give us 'enough' for today and all the tomorrows till we see you again. Forever in my heart. Aunt Marsha

Aunt Marsha

September 16, 2005

9/16/05

My thoughts will be with your loved ones today; family, friends, and coworkers, as they remember the day, one year ago, that forever changed their lives. I met your mother in Washington D.C. this year, and we shared the pain of losing our beloved sons. I hope to see your Mom and Dad in a couple of weeks at the Parent's Retreat in Missouri.

Norie Haas
Mother of Brian Haas, E.O.W. 4/24/04

Norie Haas

September 16, 2005

To the Mother and Family of Officer Rittenhouse: Please know that he is remembered today. I too have lost a son and it is something that is with you every day for the rest of your life.
Especially when the anniversary approachs. You start remembering what he was doing the day he went to work, how many hours he had to live and wonder what his last moments were. You start recalling the last conversation you had with him and last time you saw him. You can't go over it, around it or under it, you have to go through it, but know that there are prayers being said for you that the Lord will sustain you on this his anniversary.
Please take care of yourselves and God bless you.

Lorraine Bond (Mother)
Hamilton County, Tn. Deputy Sheriff:
Donald K. Bond, Jr.
EOW: 9.06.01

September 16, 2005

Matt, its been a hard year for all of us without you. I was going to wait till this evening to go to the cemetary with your parents to see your memorial stone but Jason Mynatt asked me to go up there a little after midnight with him, so of course I did. Im glad they got it put up yesterday. its just like you, larger than life. It is only fitting that you have an 8ft or so tall stone. I wish there were some comfort that we could offer your parents. I know they miss you dearly as all of us do. I am glad that we get to spend today with your family, there should be a crowd at the station tonight for the candle light vigil in your honor. Please watch over all of us Matt. You will never be forgotten.

Jason Joseph
Harriman P.D.

September 16, 2005

"i'll cut out 'cha gizzard"...it's classic you and me...

and i miss you.

i was driving through town tonight a little after 11pm and everything about a year ago just flooded over me.
i mean, exactly one year ago this very night...i love you so much.
there really are no words that i can think to say...just memories of you...of us...and i miss you.
i can't believe it happened...like this whole past year has been some kind of dream that we're going to wake from. But Matt...I've come to realize what a desperate place this is and i know that i will be so happy to leave it one day...i can't wait.
you've done it...and you made it...i don't have anything to fear...i know how crazy i drove you when we were younger 'cause i always wanted to do everything you did...well, now i know that i don't have to fear death...because you've done it and made it...
it's kinda a strange thought i know, but you always said i was strange.

Matt, i know i can't see the angels...but i know they are here...and i know that God has sent them to minister to us...God has been so good to us. i love you my brother.
forever you are in my heart.

love,
your 'lil sis
jessica

September 15, 2005

It's Thursday night, 9o'clock, it's raining. Just like one year ago tonight...rain from a different hurricane. I'm trying not to relive the memories of that night. But those thoughts are hard to control- so much denial, "What?! What?!", my brain screamed all the way to the hospital. How could ANYTHING happen to you? This is not happening. Then to see you. Torn between the enormous fear and the physical pain of knowing you were gone from us. Thinking frantically how I JUST saw you yesterday. Yesterday you hugged me and kissed the top of my head and twice said, "I love you, sis". I can feel the soft scratchiness of your uniform on my left cheek. Never without your vest-- you were a rock.

Life is so different- sometimes mundane without your stories and your presence. At times it is so stifling here that I have to remind myself over and over.. We are in this world, not OF this world. Thank God for sending the good moments. Bridges that carry us from one day to the next. The letters, the reflections, the tributes. The people we would not have met otherwise, who help us know a part of you that you were too humble to share.

The kids miss their Uncle Matt. When they speak of you theirs is such a profound and simple and joyful love. They want to talk about happy memories and plan ahead to the fun things they will do with you in heaven. Ella wants you to come eat spaghetti at her house. Ethan thinks you are changing old ladies flat tires constantly because "there are no bad guys to chase in heaven, mom."

The dynamic shifted irreversibly in all our lives the night you died. It's a slow road trying to gain a foothold in this new existance- each doing it in our own way and time. Learning to accept that you ARE alive and yet away from us for the moment is very hard. But know you are loved. You are so very loved.

It was a good (blessed, fortunate, hilarious) twenty-five years, baby brother. It will be a spectacular eternity.

Jenny Rittenhouse-Guinn

September 15, 2005