Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Jake,
It has been almost 1yr that you gave your life to the people of Indiana. I think about you every time I mark on duty, And pray that I will return home to my wife and kids. Going to your Funeral was the hardest thing that I have done as a Deputy. I sweat, cried, all day. I hope you can look down on us Brother and try and keep the rest of us safe. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Deputy Tom Ashley Jr
Johnson County Sheriff's Office

August 15, 2005

Jake it seems like just yesterday I was talking to you on the radio. I was just getting to know you. But even in the brief time that I knew you and from the stories that I hear your friends and mine tell. I can say that you were one of a kind and even though we have tried to fill the void you have left it's difficult. It's almost been a year since you left us but sometimes it seems like you are standing right next to the ones that need you the most, comforting them, and helping them through the day. We will never forget you and each and every person that knew you is a better person for having had you in their life. God bless you and I look forward to the day that we meet again.

MCSD

August 11, 2005

Hey Buddy,

Its almost been a year! I can't believe it. Dawn and I went to Kings Island last week just like we did last year and we couldn't help but talk about you and wish you were there. We are also going to the State Fair this week and I'm sure you will be in my thoughts then too. We had a good time last year and if i'd only known I would have joined you at the Brooks and Dunn concert. I miss you very much, we all do. Kelli is doing well, she is happy!! I know she still wishes you were here. Scott and I bought Kaylee a computer yesterday for her birthday. She is getting big. When we were in DC in May she got her picture taken with the President and Shaq. I was jealous. I want a picture with "W". I'm sure the next couple of weeks are going to be hard on a lot of people me included but, thinking of all the good times we had will get me through it. I love you bro and thank you for all you added to my life and for all of the memories I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world.

Your grateful friend,
CB

Detective
Indianapolis Police Department

August 8, 2005

Jake,
It's been almost a year since you have been gone. We miss you so much and will never forget you. You were like a son to us Jake. You were always so respectful and had such wit. Made us laugh. Our family also misses you. Mom is with you now and I know that you are helping to take care of her. You are tryly a hero in our eyes.

Jen and Kaylee are doing fine. Kaylee misses you and we will never let her forget her daddy. Your mom and dads, Jen and me and Linda are watching over her and we'll make sure she grows up to be a good citizen just like her daddy.

Love you,

Lee and Linda

August 4, 2005

I just wanted to tell you that I was just watching a Texas Holdem Tournament and one the players bet on a pair of two's. Of course I thought of the time that you did that and WON !!! Everytime I play now and see that I refer to it as the Jake Hand :-)

August 3, 2005

Jake, it's getting closer to the 1yr anniversary of your death. To be honest with you though sometimes it seems just like yesterday that you were taken away from us. I miss so very much ... there is such a void in my life now that I just can't fill. I think of you everyday and I miss your awesome smile and your sense of humor. I'm still in the relationship that we spoke about so many times. Things aren't so great right now though and I sure wish you were here to give me some advice. You always seemed to know the right things to say to make things seem easier to deal with. I'm going to go for now Jake, I'll write more later. Just know that I'll never forget you buddy ... your in my heart forever.

I Love You Jake ... Always and Forever

August 3, 2005

Lets not lose sight of this memorial. This is to honor Jakes friendships, the memories people have made with him and to keep him close to us.
We all come to this sight to remember Jake is some capacity. Lets not take the focus off of the most important issue here which is Jake and his family.

August 3, 2005

Kaylee Laird's birthday is not today. It is later this month.

August 2, 2005

I think about you and your family constantly. I don't think there is a day that goes by that you, your parents (Mike and Debbie), Miss Kaylee, or your brother don't enter my mind. I didn't know you as well as I wish I had, but I know from hearing everyone talk that you were a great guy and a wonderful father. Today is Kaylee's birthday and I know how much you wish you could be here with her physically. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you are with her spiritually. You raised a wonderful daughter. I am sure you couldn't be any more proud. Your parents take such great care of Kaylee when they have her and she is looking more and more like you everyday. Jake, please be with your parents. They really need those little signs that you send them; the ones that remind them that you are always watching over. They are incredibly strong people, but they really miss you and need to know you are okay. Please keep your eye out on Gaben. He is serving our country and making everyone very proud. I know you sure would be. Please continue being the guardian angel that you are now. You are truly missed, but never forgotten.

August 2, 2005

I was thinking about you this weekend. Tomorrow is Kaylee's birthday. Her first birthday without you here. I remember last year when you were getting ready for her "Barbie Birthday" party. I hope that you let her know that you are never far away. I hope that you can give her a sense of peace sometime tomorrow. I know that your mom will do something special to make her feel like the little Princess that she is.
No matter what happens in my life there will be an eternal flame that burns for you!
Rest up tomorrow you will have your hands full, its your little girls birthday...
My thoughts are with her...

August 1, 2005

I stopped by the cemetery today. I walked up to talk to you and a gust of wind hit me, like it always does. Thank you for letting me know that you're there. My life is so empty without you. As I drive through the neighborhood where God decided to take you to heaven, I am so cold. I wish there was something that I could have done. I wish that God could have taken me instead so that sweet little Kaylee would have her daddy. I need you to know that I would have jumped in front of that fatal bullet in a heartbeat to keep you here. I will always cherish that years we spent together. You are my best friend. Its kind of crazy to think back to some of the things we got ourselves into ...I miss you!
What I wouldn't do to be standing at the gun range in the bay doing scenerio's with you hearing you yell "freeze" (like you were TJ Hooker) and having Sgt. Lasley yell at you. Training with you was definately interesting ... to say the least. It was hard to get you to remember this was the police academy and not the Marine Corp. You were always in control that is why it is so hard to believe this happened to you. You are so loved Jake....

July 27, 2005

I was flipping through the channels the other night and saw Porky's on tv. It reminded me of the time we sat in your cruiser at the golf course and watched it, and how you and Bishop were quoting your favorite lines. And I recall how you would come over some nights after your shift and we would watch black and white tv and tell me stories of when you were a kid. And I will never forget how you used to attach the suspenders to your shirt bottom so it wouldn't come untucked when chasing people down...you learned it in the Marines. I miss you

July 26, 2005

Good Morning...
I went to see you yesterday and met Mrs. Starnes. She is so strong, just like your mom is. She said that her son is in the process for ISP. Jake please watch over their family...you can never have too many people looking down on you.
I left an angel with a wheel barrel statue for you. I thought about you and that damn yard you had to keep perfect all the time and the angel is so cute :) In hindsight I think maybe its a little much bc the whole rear end of the angel is showing...
I miss you so much! I am trying not to be angry Jake I really am. Maybe its just because your anniversary in heaven is coming, I don't know. I have just been hitting some really bad days lately...not that everyday since August 18th hasn't been bad. I just want to sleep all the time bc then you are with me.
URTLOML....

July 23, 2005

Jake,
just wondering what you've done today. I am sure that watching down on us all is a tough job. Since I have found this website last month there have been so many Officers that have gone after you. Can you help watch over their families too? My heart breaks to think that there are other people dealing with the loss of someone so special in their lives.
I will see you in my dreams :)
Love you!

July 19, 2005

Good Morning,
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you today. The weather is so gross outside, don't you have any pull yet? Can you at least give us some sunshine? The days are already dreary without you...I don't need rain to remind me of how bad life really is without you!
Life here sucks Jake! I don't have you to laugh with ... what I wouldn't give for just one more day... but I guess that is too much to ask for.
I listen to the song that the radio station remixed in your honor all the time. That truly is the way that you lived your life... well the last 8 months or so.
I pray everyday that Kaylee grows up and knows how wonderful her father was, how much you love her and how you are with her always.
I love YOU!

July 18, 2005

It has been nearly a year since your death. Please know you inspired those on the force in a similar circumstance. Your advice did not fall upon deaf ears. You see, I never met you but you impacted my life and that of my family. It is amazing how we live our lives without realizing how much we touch the lives around us. But you know now, don't you? I will keep your badge sticker on my car until it wears off on its own. Thank you.

July 13, 2005

Jake,
You know someone you love and that loves you needs you right now. Please give her the strength and courage to do what she has too in order to live peacefully and hold her head up high. Jake she needs your help.
It has been almost a year now, please calm and help her to deal with your loss and her personal life. Keep up the little "signs". The little things you do to let her know you are around may spook her a little, but it gives her peace that you are still around.
Please Jake, keep her in your arms and let her know there are still people here on earth that care!

July 13, 2005

Officer Laird I have never met you but felt it important to share something with you and all who read this. The day that we lost you I was in surgery in Indianapolis, I.U. Medical Center, donating a kidney to my brother. I watched the news of your death and realized that we had lost another brother of the badge. You are a hero to all of us and will never be forgotten. I will always remember August 18, 2004 because of these two events, one so happy and one so very sad. Also your family is in our prayers and Kaylee is my Goddaughters name, spelled the same. But I guess being where you are you already knew that. Blessed Are the Peace Makers for They Shall Be Called the Children of God. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Detective Darron Sparks
Anderson Police Department, IN

July 11, 2005

Jake,
I wish you were here...
Bart is trying to merge County and IPD and make them one department, I am not sure that he is thinking either. Its kind of ironic though..a year after your death the police department is dying as well...the weather has been so beautiful lately. I know that you would be enjoying these days at the park with Kaylee.
The anniversary of your death is coming up and I just can't believe that you have been gone for almost a year now. I sit back and think about all the things you have missed and I keep telling myself that you haven't missed a beat bc you are with me always. I keep telling myself that God took you so you wouldn't get old that you would always have the nice muscle and the hair high and tight. Listening to people talk about you I have to sit back and smile... you were a role model a real cops cop...
I am thinking about going to a Cubs game while I am in Chicago this weekend and of course I will bring you something back...
I miss you so much tough guy:(

July 11, 2005

Jake, how I miss you so very much. I know I am not the only one, for there are so many lives you touched in your time here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you, and wish I had you close again to share the laughter we once had. I was reflecting on one of the last conversations we ever had. I pulled up next to you, driver to driver and you told me I didn't "25" that well and needed practice. I remember you telling me to never marry a cop because you didn't want me to struggle, for whatever reasons. And then you promised you would be there at my wedding the day I get married. Well Jake, that day is rapidly approaching, in 2006. I think you would be proud of the man I chose and the choices I have made. We are due with a baby in December, and if we have a boy, I'd really like him to have the middle name Jacob, after the HERO that touched my life. I think of you often, and pray for your parents and Gaben..he and I keep in touch :-) You are missed

July 5, 2005

Jake,
I received this e-mail this morning and it took me a half hour to cut and paste this for your mom today. I think that you had something to do with that bc your know how much I hate computers...
I read this and thought of Kaylee :(
I love ya and I miss seeing the "big guns" :)

A Dads Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far
You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year.
When gunfire hit the streets
and taught the community to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away"
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

July 5, 2005

Hey Buddy, Sorry for the delay in leaving anything. Took a run today to that house on Gimber-Shots fired by his brother. The dispatcher said your name and put it in the run. First time I've heard it on the air since your final 10-42. Brought it all back, flood of emotion was the same. As I ran to the car and started heading that way, that horrible day returned. Today, I couldn't remember the safest way to get into the neighborhood...ended up taking the same route you did because that’s all I could remember. Then, suddenly, while heading down Shelby, it all went away and my head cleared, heart stopped pounding.....focus returned and I went to do what needed to be done....still taking the same route you did. Guess the run was someone’s sick idea of something funny to do.

I past the spot on Dietz, then past the cross on Gimber. Still very emotional, even all these months later. I think T.C. could use your hand on his shoulder, let him know that it’s going to be OK if you can-seems to still be struggling.

Looking at that picture and still can't believe we had to do that. That was the most honorable detail I have ever been a part of. I am proud to have been able to do it for you, hope everything was acceptable.

You are not forgotten-never will be.

Indianapolis PD

July 1, 2005

Jake,
The last couple days have been really tough. I talk to your mom periodically and my heart aches for her. Jake I don't know why ... there are times that I think I have dealt with your loss and other days, it seems like yesterday that I received the call. You promised you'd never leave me! There is such a big part of me that died that morning. Your mom had the best advise, to take one day at a time... or one moment by moment whatever is easiest. Your mother is truly an angel because without her I don't know how I would have made it this far. Jake I miss you so much...
What I wouldn't give to see you just one last time, to see you smile, to see the sparkle in your eye talking about Kaylee, to sit and listen to the 30 minute story about the guy you arrested, or what you ate at Wendy's that night... I would even sit through the Marine "war stories" again...
I remember how worried I was that you were going to be called to war after 09-11...little did we know that you would die in another war. I think the only regret you had about your funeral is they didn't have you in short sleeves to show off the "Big Guns". I think about some of the things we went through together and I have to smile. I keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope the other foot follows.
Your mom and I were talking over lunch one day I shared the book with her that you bought me during what I thought was the lowest time in my life, little did I know. I hope you are not asking God to flex to see who has bigger muscles... and please don't ask him to lift up his robe to see if he has a 6 pack :)
Jake you are in my thoughts...
You are my heart, there is not one day that goes by that I don't think about you...help take care of everyone up there. I know that its a big job, but you can handle it:)
I love you...

June 30, 2005

Marine / Officer / HERO...

Your actions are the epitomy of Heroism. Your fellow officers are proud to have stood by you, you are a HERO. You have proven the Marines only take the Best of the Best, You are a true Marine and HERO.

When children think about what an officer should be like, they will dream of you.. Defending Country and Community...Thank you

Semper Fi HERO

June 30, 2005

I may not have known you personally, but I felt as if I did. I know that there are many people who miss and love you. I am hurting inside for them. The sacrafice that you made in order to keep others safe just goes to show what kind of man you really were.
Please watch over those who need you most.

June 29, 2005