Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

MERRY CHRISTMAS my sweet love...God, i miss you so much, and it just isn't right without you here...

the kids just love all their toys, but i know you know that already because you are here with us...watching them has helped me get through this day without you...

enjoy our Saviors birthday with Him in heaven...please know that I love you with all that i am STILL and i know that i will FOREVER...

continue to rest in peace honey...

with all that i am, forever...
susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

December 25, 2005

hey chris....

christmas is almost here and it still does not seem possible that you are not here with us to celebrate....

i just wanted you to know that we are always thinking of you and missing you each and every....

it helps a little to know that you are with our Heavenly Father....that is something to smile about and hold onto...

Merry Christmas....Love....Shannon

shannon fowler
sister-in-law

December 18, 2005

I only recently learned of Chris's death when I saw it in a magazine. I saw his picture and recognized him from when I was in his platoon in the Marines. He had a great sense of humor and always kept me laughing. He was well liked by everyone who knew him. God bless you brother. See you on the other side.

Trooper John Harris
Wyoming Highway Patrol

December 7, 2005

hi honey...

Happy Thanksgiving...

i will be thinking of and missing you all day!...please enjoy your heavenly feast!...

and oh, aunt phyllis has already set your plate at the table!

i love you with all that i am, forever!

love,
susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

November 24, 2005

hi chris....happy turkey day...we all miss you very much...i know that susan is really struggling right now....with the holidays....i promise to do my best to help her get through these difficult times...

i will continue to pray for her and the kids.....to find the comfort and peace that they need to help them establish who they are now and where they are going...none of us will ever forget you...you will always be a part of our family...

may God continue to bless you...enjoy your heavenly life...it has to better than what we are all feeling now...

love...shannon, rob, and caroline

Shannon Fowler
Sister-in-Law

November 23, 2005

chris...

i am sitting here right now just sobbing at the thought of the holidays right around the corner..lizzie is rubbing my back and looking at you on the screen saying, "daddy, mama cry"...it's just so not fair!...God, it still hurts like it was the day you were taken from us...the days and nights just seem to get longer and lonelier...my days of hope come and go, and right now all my hope is lost...thank God i have the kids to divert my attention most of the time...i really have been doing so "well"...it just seems the holidays are so hard...i just want to sleep right through them, but i know i can't...simply because as i sit here and write this, the kids are just laughing and playing together now like nothing is "wrong"...them and you make me want to be a better person, and learn how to control my grief and feelings...i know if you were here, you would be so strong for them...sometimes i feel strong, but often i feel so weak...i think that is why i "bury" myself in "busy work" and take my naps during the day...so my thoughts wonder from my sadness...

well, again the kids will distract me from "my moments"...it's time to put lizzie to bed...

please give me strength to endure what is going to be a painful season for me...it is the second holiday season without you here...last year i was at my parents, so that helped some by having my family around a lot...now, we are on our own, so it is really going to be hard for me...so, if you could, please let me know you are "here" with us...send your spirit to lift us up as i am especially going to need it...

continue to rest in peace my sweet love...

i love you with all i am...forever!

susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

November 19, 2005

hi honey...

just stopping by to say "hi", and to tell you once more how much i love you and i miss you...

thanksgiving is right around the corner, and i hate it...i know how much you loved this holiday...i will ask aunt phyllis to set your plate again this year...last year, i just couldn't sit at the table until your plate was set...i was "o.k." after that...enjoy your heavenly feast, mine won't be the same without you there...

i love you with all that i am, forever!

"babe"

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

November 15, 2005

I'll Be There - The Escape Club

Over Mountains
Over Trees
Over Oceans
Over Seas
I'll be there
In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there
On the edge of a waking dream
Over Rivers
Over Streams
Through Wind and Rain
I'll be there
Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there
In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh, there's no need to cry
Just think of me,
And I'll be there

October 26, 2005

Susan, I am so glad that I have you in my life. We have become great friends that I know will be forever! I think about you and how you are doing ALL the time. I know our busy lives get in the way of us talking all the time, but please know I love ya and I am always here for you!

Chris, I know you are up in heaven with Bert....you two I am sure are getting along great because you sound so much alike! Please help us get through the next few months, as the holidays are always the worst times for Susan and I.

Love, Denise

Denise Zimmerman
Surviving Spouse of NJ State Trooper Bert Zimmerman

October 26, 2005

Officer Shea May you rest in peace Marie & Family

October 11, 2005

hey dude...

well..."happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday to chris....happy birthday to you"...ok, ok...don't laugh at our singing...it could be worse...haha

we just wanted to stop by and let ya know how much we are thinking of you today...we certainly did not forget it was your b-day...

we sent a thinking of you card to susan and the kids today....we can only imagine how hard this day is for them...we will continue to try and be a "rock" for them whenever they need it...we understand that life is difficult without you...but we promise to be as much support as we can...

buddy (aka: christopher--caroline calls him buddy) is growing so fast...we can't believe it...he misses you so much...but he really is trying to be strong for susan and lizzie...he's doing a GREAT JOB...

lu-lu...well...she is lu-lu...ya's-ya's girl..haha...she really fits the "princess" role well...haha...you would be going crazy with her...lol...

sissy...well she is struggling these days...but i am confident that she will find your strength and it will help her live...keep watching her and the kids...we know you are there for them...and that helps comfort some of the sadness...

we miss and love ya lots...you will continue to be in our thoughts and nightly prayers...we are counting on you to be caroline's guardian angel too...

love ya lots...shannon, rob, and caroline...aka: "hockey pants"

shannon, rob, and caroline fowler
sister/brother-in-law and niece

October 4, 2005

hi sweetheart...

happy birthday baby!!!!...today has been very diffiult for me...i took lizzie to the troop for awhile, and sat there with some friends...i had a great discussion with capt. nolt and others about some things that have been going on in my life...i also cried at the fact that you are not here...i am still getting hurt in your absence...i know you always hated your birthday and didn't want a fuss...but, please know the kids and i will celebrate it forever...we placed a pumpkin at the cemetary today to honor you...christopher took it to school first for show and tell, and told his classmates it was his daddy's birthday in heaven and we are leaving this for him...he has grown up and matured so much...i sometimes cannot believe my eyes...it is hard to believe that this is the second birthday without you...how so unfair that is...you know, i thought i was getting better in dealing with your loss...but, apparently i am not...i have digressed some...i just can't help it...the good days are getting to be a lot more than the bad days...but, i still long for you and probably always will...you were my soul mate and father of my children...nothing can ever change that...

well, before i bring myself down again i must go...i hope that your heavenly celebration is wonderful...because, celebrating on earth without you here, certainly is not wonderful...

continue to rest in peace my sweet love...i know that someday we will be re-united again...

with all my love forever,
susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

October 4, 2005

hi honey...

today was the golf tournament that windish, keller, capt. nolt, and my dad put together for you...let me tell you in two words, HUGE SUCCESS...windish and keller did an amazing job...they truly did honor you today with all their efforts...there was a huge turnout of players...i was amazed to see so many people...but, then again, it didn't surprise me because so many people liked you, and you touched so many people's lives...

lynne windish and i drove the cart around to greet the players and give them some drinks...the weather was absolutely beautiful...but, i knew you would come through on that...you LOVED to play golf, and good weather was a must...

God, i still miss you sooooo much...i always will no matter what...thank you for just being you and loving me too...God truly blessed my life when he brought you into my life...although He had greater plans for us, we were meant to be together for as much time as He allowed...He gave me the best of you and i will forever cherish that in my heart and soul!

continue to rest in peace my sweet love!

love,
susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

September 13, 2005

Chris,
Not a day goes by....

We miss you and love you and Susan both very much.

Kieran and Stephanie

Stephanie Schmidt
Friend

September 6, 2005

hi honey...

just stopping by to say hello...i got back from wildwood, nj this weekend for a mid-atlantic region memorial service...you were honored at that event...it was very nice, and sad at the same time...the candlelight service was held on friday which was touching...i cried as your name and face were scrolled across the screen...i still can't believe that this has happened...it breaks my heart everytime...but, i feel the need to be there to honor you...i wouldn't want to be anywhere else...sunday was a brief prayer service that absolutely killed me...i almost got up in the middle and left...but, i didn't because i didn't want a "ton" of people running after me...there are some moments, i just want to be left alone...why don't people get that?...i know they want to support and all, but i just want to be alone...is that too much to ask?

i did get to hang out some during the weekend...actually, i pulled some really late nights...i enjoy hanging with other survivors and hearing our stories as we remember our loved ones...it makes me feel so not alone...and believe me, i feel so alone...29, a widow, and raising two children without their father...it stinks!...all i want in this whole world is for you to wake up and come home to us...why did this happen to us?...why was such a good man taken all way too early from this world?...

so many questions i long for answers for...i guess i'll have to wait until we meet again...i have some tough questions for the big man up-stairs...i know He knows what He is doing...but, with all do respect, i hate it!...

well, the kids are about to start school...christopher is going back to bethel, and elizabeth is starting too...can you believe it?!!!...i sure can't...i think i am going to cry when i drop her off...heck, i am crying now...i just want you here with me...i remember the first day we took christopher to bethel...you were pulling me away from the door saying he was going to be fine...it was hard to leave my little guy there...leaving my little girl, is going to be almost impossible...but, knowing that tammy serman is her teacher, that warms my heart...she is awesome with the kids and so very motherly...i know she will be fine, and i will too...I JUST WANT YOU THERE!!!!...

i have been struggling these last few days...my mood swings are getting really bad...whoever said it gets easier as time passes, they lied!...it sooooo does not get easier...

windish, capt. nolt, and my dad have put together this golf tournament in your memory in sept...the turnout i hope is going to be wonderful...windish has done a lot of leg work for it...it is going to be at marsh island...

well, it is time to put the kids to bed...we will kiss your picture before we fall asleep...you are our last thoughts at night, and our first in the morning...rest easy my sweet love...and please continue to give me strength to go on...i am feeling sooooo weak right now...i am looking forward to the spouses retreat for c.o.p.s. in sept...i really need the "pick me uper" from other women who walk in my shoes...they are the only ones who give me hope!

i love you with everything i am, forever!

susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

August 22, 2005

Dear Susan,

I had the Honor and Privilege to spend time with you at the Surviving Spouses Weekend in Wildwood. Your a great person as well as mother. I enjoyed your company!!!! We made a sad weekend a happy one talking about what we lost. I think we share the same values.

Please know you can contact me anytime you want, Anything you need please get in touch with me.

Please know your friends in Jersey are here for you and the kids, as well as your family.

Love,Lisa A. Scales,
Wife of Fallen Officer
NJSP Tpr.I Christopher S. Scales
EOW 12-02-03

Lisa A. Scales
Wife of Fallen NJSP Tpr. I Christopher S. Scales, NJSP EOW 12-03-02

August 21, 2005

I read about the senseless tragedy that took your life that early July morning. My heart goes out to your family and friends as they suffer without your presence. Although I did not know you personally, I feel obligated to pay my respects. Watch over your wife and children as you did while you were with us, and know that we only wish them comfort and personal peace.
My dad was a Marine too and I am sure you can share plenty of stories! Rest Well, until you are reunited once again with your family and friends.
God be with your family.

Heather

Heather Baker

August 10, 2005

hi honey...

today is elizabeth's second birthday...she is just so darn cute...but, how can she not be?...she looks just like you...big "nugget" and all...lol...i am kinda bummed today, but i'm tryig not to show it...as i type this, it was about two hours ago two years ago "we" gave birth to our daughter...i can still hear you saying, "ten fingers, ten toes"...it was so cute...we walked the halls together at the hospital trying to hurry things along...you were a real "trooper" with me...you never left my side, even when i said you could...omg, someone called me the "warden" the other day...i haven't heard that in awhile...it made me laugh...sorry, that just popped in my head, and i had to tell you...lol

remember when my mom/dad brought christopher to the hospital for the first time to see elizabeth?...he was so cute wearing his "i'm the big brother t-shirt"...i still have that shirt for him...i will always keep it...then, all he wanted to do was sit in the "bed" they have for the babies...oh good Lord, remember getting him out of it?...he screamed, and i was freaking out the nurses were not going to let him back in the room...lol...oh well, that's our boy!

elizabeth is blossoming...i am working on potty training her now...she is in pull-ups...she starts pre-school in sept...i can't believe it...she is going to be the youngest in her class...but, i bet she is the smartest, she has your brains for sure...both our kids do...christopher is doing well in school too...

well, another birthday of the kids passed by without you here...it pains me...i wish their daddy could celebrate with them...we were both so happy when they both blessed our lives...and blessings they sure are...hey, i'm not going to lie...it is major stress and difficult at times doing this alone, but i am sooooo thankful for both of them...i just try to pull on your strength and love to help me through the not so easy moments...

i know you got the balloons the kids released yesterday...they sent them up to heaven for you...know those balloons sailed all the way, filled with LOVE...

i love you so much still with every passing day...you are the first thought in the morning, and the last before i close my eyes...you always will be!

continue to rest in peace my eternal love...i just can't wait until we meet again...

love,
susan
"babe"

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

August 8, 2005

Chris,
I know that we never had the opportunity to meet one another but I am for certain that you and my angel have met. I met your wonderful, beautiful, and extremely strong wife Susan at the COPS retreat for fallen officers last year. We immediately hit it off as unfortunately we have so much in common, young widows of police officers with young children and broken hearts that fail to mend over the loss of our soul mates. Susan speaks of you and the love she has for you and I know you were an amazing man, I am truly sorry for how fate has brought us all together but please know your Susan and children are always in my thoughts and prayers. For you I wish peace and comfort to your family, please tell my husband I miss him so very much. You both are truly our angels in blue.

Michelle Gray,
Surviving Spouse Officer Stephan Gray
Merced Police Department
EOW (Eternally on Watch) 4-15-04

michelle gray
surviving spouse officer Stephan Gray

August 1, 2005

Susan,

Today is Duke's one year anniversary of his crash. I can honestly say I am hanging in there just patiently waiting for this day to end. I feel it was harder waiting for this day to come than the actual day itself. Tomorrow Officer Candidate Turner will be buried. From what his family was telling me, we lost a great man who was on his way to become a great officer.

I know you just passed the one year anniversary of Chris's death. I remember hearing about it on July 19th actually because our state's border each other and it made news here and even after Duke's death that same week, I was still thinking of your husband and Brian Winder who was killed two weeks before Duke and Chris. I remember one of my thoughs was thinking I was not alone in this and that there were two other families going through exactly what I was going through. I never dreamed that I would ever have met you and your beautiful family, but I did and I gained strength from you believe it or not. You are a strong woman Susan. I watched you in Washington and how you attended to the kids. I know your husband is extremely proud of you.

With husbands like ours for guardian angels, we will get through life with their love and guidance and they will never let us walk alone.

Love,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

July 20, 2005

GODSPEED MY BROTHER, YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN.

CPD

July 19, 2005

7/18/05

Your family, friends, and coworkers are in my thoughts, as they remember the day, one year ago, that forever changed their lives.

Norie Haas
Mother of Brian Haas
E.O.W. 4/24/2004

Norie Haas

July 18, 2005

hi chris...

well, we made it...somehow...we made it through the first year since your horrible accident that took you away from susan and the kids...

yesterday susan planned a really nice memorial service at your grave site...it truly was beautiful...short, sweet, and very simple....rev. palmer did a nice job like always...we were very scared that the storms would dampen the service...but we should have known that your light would come shining through...and it did...

the troop held a small private memorial at the accident site today...they place a really nice sign in your memory...now the whole world will always remember what you did for your state...can you believe that sissy asked me to say a blessing at the service....don't laugh now, you would have been proud...lol

rob and caroline send their love to you...they both miss you very much too...rob took christopher to the water park today with ed...they all had a blast...i think the boys acting more like kids than christopher...haha

well anyway...i just wanted you to know that we all miss you dearly and still can't believe that you were taken from the family so soon...their has to be a purpose for this...i hope that we find out what that may be someday...

God bless you and love,
shannon, rob, and caroline

Shannon Fowler
Sister-In-Law

July 18, 2005

hi honey...

oh my goodness, where do i even begin?...today marks the one year anniversary of your death...i cannot even believe it...i still miss you more and more with each passing day...my love for you has only grown stronger...i am doing pretty good today so far, i have to admit...yesterday was horrible...i think that was because that was the last day we spent together as a family...it was a wonderful day, and i can still hear our conversations throughout the day...oh, what i would give to hear your precious voice again...

i held a memorial service for you yesterday at the cemetery...i chose to do it yesterday since it seemed to work best for everyone...MANY people came to support me and the kids, and to let you know that they have not forgotten about you...it was very nice...people said nice things about you again, but then who could say anything bad?...you were just a class act who would do anything for anyone...you pulled your weight and did your job the best you could...and oh, thanks for making the rain stop just in time...i know you wanted to give me a scare about the weather, well it worked...lol...but, i knew you would come through for me like you always have...you are my guardian angel, and i never doubt that...THANK YOU!!!

today i went to the accident scene for the first time...that was hard...capt. nolt, srgt. hudson, cpl. barnett, and some others came with me...we placed wreaths on the marker that stands there...you know i just can't go without recognizing you...some people probably think i am crazy with all i do, but frankly, i don't care...they haven't walked in my shoes and don't understand...i do it for you and the kids...these events help the kids remember you and see you for the hero that you are...i won't have it any other way!

this will always be the worst day of mine and the kids lives...you were taken from us so stupidly, and for no reason at all...there is no justification on the actions that were done to you...and now, we are left behind without the most wonderful person in our lives...christopher watched a video with me and your parents last night of the funeral...it broke my heart...he first yelled he didn't want to watch it...i said i would take him to bed...then, he wanted to finish watching it, and we had to watch it again...your parents and i just cried...christopher actually teared up for the first time i have ever seen him do that...i lost it totally...my heart broke into millions of pieces...i wish i could take his pain and anger away...he got so angry after the video, and your parents and i tried to talk to him and explain...but, he is 4, and he just doesn't understand...heck, i still don't understand it, and i am grown...i told your mom if it was just me, i would be ok...it's those two beautiful angels you blessed me with that i ache for everyday...they are so innocent, and don't deserve to be without their daddy...elizabeth blows you kisses all the time...again, i cry...i know you get them and send them back this way...i feel them sometimes...i feel soft touches on my shoulder, and know you are with me...please don't ever stop that, for that is my strength...i still depend on you and always will...you are my rock and always will be...that can never change...

i love you forever and until eternity...that was my vow to you, and i hold that deep in my heart...i long for the day we can see each other again...i rejoice in knowing you are with the Lord, because there is no other place you would be...good people go to great places...and you, were an amazing person...

thank you again for choosing me as your wife and the mother of your children...i am trying my best on my own...i have a lot of help which i am truly grateful for...

rest in peace my sweet chris...

love always,
susan

Susan C. Shea
Widow of Cpl. Shea

July 18, 2005

Susan, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. Today is a hard day, there is no doubt about Chris's first anniversary being one of the toughest days. But you will get through it. You dont think you will, but trust me, Ive been through Berts first anniversary, you will make it through the day.

Chris, please give your beautiful wife strength today. Help her to remember your good times and your smile and your laughter, not the day she got the worst news of her life. She is an amazing woman. You are always in my thoughts and in my prayers. Keep Bert company up there and tell him I love him.

Love, Denise Zimmerman
Surviving Spouse of NJ State Trooper Bert Zimmerman 02-05-04

Denise Zimmerman
Surviving Spouse of NJ State Trooper Bert Zimmerman

July 18, 2005