Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

HAPPY EASTER MARK

March 27, 2005

Yvonne I want to thank you for your openness and honesty. By sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings you afford us the opportunity to learn so much more about Mark.

The incredibly deep love you shared with him is so evident in your letters. It breaks my heart to see the pain you are going through.

I truly believe that Lily does talk with Mark. Quoting my dear friend, "Children have that open mind and innocence that allows for that communication. The open mind that we as adults shut down." She is a very lucky little girl to have such a great Mom!!

I respect you, I admire you, and I envy your courage and strength.

Sent with love,

Kathy Gardner

March 25, 2005

My Dearest Son,

Mark,

I have wanted to write to you so many times but my heart is ripping as I am doing ths. Tears will not stop. I still can't believe what happened. Your dad and I still want to believe that it is a bad dream and that you are going to walk through that door at any time. I want to tell you that we love you so much. You will always be my blueyed bouncing baby boy even though your eyes changed.
Yvonne is doing a great job with Lily. Your friends both personally and from work are looking over her. Jason, Harold and Lisa look after her all the time. Rich, Ed and Mike do whatever she asks.
John and Tom help her take care of business items and they have been wonderful to all of us. I wish I could have seen you in your uniform and met the chief and some of your friends at work. They are the nicest people. Peterson is a bag pipe player. Did you know that? He is a great guy too. So is Kevin Reese. He and Steve are friends and do things together.
Mark, I love you so much. I can't believe this awful thing has happened and I can't wait to see you again.
Lily is so smart. She says your name everytime she sees your picture of your badge or a blue ribbon with your number on it. She can sing so many songs. This is breaking my heart. I just want you to know that I think about you all the time, I miss you so much and love you. I will never ever forget what a wonderful son you are. I love you Mark and am so hurt that I can not see you again. I don't know how anyone can do something like this. To hurt so many of us. It is just unbearable and I want to die many days and join you. I know you would not want me to do that and I would not put the rest the family through anything like that so will just have to let God takes his course. I don't understand how he took you from me and I prayed for a miracle at the hospital but did not get it. I don't understand why but pray for understanding. Bye and I hope to be able to write again soon. It tears me up to do it but I want you to know that I love and miss you so much.

Love Mom

Mom

March 25, 2005

Mark,

Yesterday, Lily woke up from her nap and was chatting up a storm in her room. I went in there to get her, and I said who were you talking to? She looked right in my eyes and said "Daddy". The crazy thing is that I was watching her on the monitor while she was talking, and it seemed as if she was. I thought to myself how it seemed as if you were standing in the room with her. Of course, I can only see the crib on the monitor. I felt as if when I opened her door I would see you standing there smiling. Maybe you were.

We took Caesar for a walk yesterday. It was a nice day out. I put Lily in her car and pushed her. She thought that it was hysterical to hold on to Caesar's leash with me. She had a good time and wanted to go for another walk later. It was so nice out, I kept thinking of how it might of been the first day of disc golf for you. You were always so excited to get out there again. I asked Don to take me to play this year. Just me and him like you two often did. He told me he would and that he would tell me all of your stories.

Emma is doing well. I know that you had something to do with that. I was at the cemetery during her procedure. I talked to you and asked you to be with her and take care of her. I didn't find out until later that she was having the procedure at that same moment. My mom said that a girl came into the waiting room with the number 76 on her shirt. She felt that you were there, too.

We leave on our trip on Saturday. I'm nervous about the flight. You know how I don't like to fly. I am glad to be going to a place with nice weather, though. I remember when we went on our honeymoon and stepped off the plane into that humidity! You were sunburned all ready and spent the whole time there in the shade. We had such a nice time. Do you remember sitting in the swing surrounded by trees and trying to count all of the lizards? I was scared to swim in the ocean so you carried me in the water and held me. You also dove head first off of that cliff. I couldn't believe it.

There is not a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. I miss you so much. I heard Garth Brooks song "The Dance" the other day. How true it is. I love you. xoxoxo

Yvonne

March 23, 2005

Yvonne,
God Bless you and Lilly. Know that you are not alone in grief. I will never forget Mark, nor will I forget you and Lilly.

March 17, 2005

An extra prayer said today for Yvonne and Lily.... two very brave ladies that are doing the best they can under such horrible and sad circumstances. Mark is watching over both of you, you can bet on it, and certainly very proud of both of you. Peace to you both, and God bless.

Michigan

March 12, 2005

Mark,

I hate to tell you this, but, Lily does not like George Strait. We were sitting at the computer and she wanted to hear daddy's music. I put on George Strait songs and she kept saying "No". She wanted to hear "girls". She likes to listen to music in the car now and to tell me which ones. She is learning how to say "please" when she asks for something instead of just "get it" and pushing me!

b,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc,,,,c,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/

That was Lily typing a message for you. She loves to sit at the computer and type. She's also learning how to count. Not in any particular order, but she knows the numbers.

She did something the other day that was totally you. She was feeding the fish and got her hand wet. She proceeded to wipe it off on MY shirt! I laughed so hard.

She likes to point to her hand and say Boo-Boo so that she can get a kitty band-aid. Of course, there's no boo-boo there. She also likes to wear her junior police badge that one of the officers gave her. She says "I wear it." She talks to so much for her age. Everyone is so amazed.

I hope that you are watching her from above. I know you would be having such fun with her at this age. That's what angers me the most. You both lit up when you saw each other. I remember how she loved to wake you up in the morning by tugging on your ears. You always smiled that sleepy smile and spent a few minutes with her no matter what time you had went to bed. I miss seeing that excitement and love that she had for her daddy.

We miss you and love you. XOXOXOXO

Yvonne

March 11, 2005

Mrs. Sawyers-Your reflections moved me to tears. Your sweet remembrances of your husband certainly honor him, his life and now his memory. It was good to read that you have great family support. I have prayed that God would provide an extra measure of comfort and strength to you-you are beyond deserving of both. God Bless you and your daughter!

NC Police Sergeant

March 10, 2005

Mark,

It's almost 9 months now. How time flies yet stands still. Your probation party was Tuesday. We all went to it to celebrate with the officers you were sworn in with. It was difficult, but we got through it. I had a hard time getting ready to go to the party because I kept thinking how if you were still here, I probably would have stayed home with Lily. I did well while I was there, but lost it when the bagpipes were played.

Lily spent the evening with your mom and dad tonight. I had a bad headache (go figure) and I needed to sleep it off. Your dad came and got her. They took her to Big Boy to eat. They even got the caravan washed and vacuumed for me. I can't tell you how much I love and value your parents. Of course you always knew that. When I went to pick Lily up, your mom had her tell me about Big Boy and she kept saying "I touch" because she touched the big statue outside. She told me she had spaghetti and 'cake'. She is such a smart girl.

Well, we close on the new house on March 14th. I say we because I want you to be with me always. I'm so scared. I had a difficult time making the decision. I keep telling myself that we were going to move anyway and that this is what you would want, too. I had a dream that you and I were standing in the kitchen and you were smiling, showing the house to Harold and Lisa. I kept praying that you would come to me and tell me what to do. I was much more at peace with the decision after that dream. I am sad to leave our first house together, and to move further from your parents. However, I know that I will see them just as much. They will always be a huge part of our lives. I made you some promises, and I meant every word that I said. Your parents are my parents, too.

I saw a truck exactly like yours the other day. My heart started racing, and how I prayed that it was you. Silly, huh? But I can't help myself. When I see a truck like yours I just have to see who's driving it. After I see who it is, I laugh because I wonder what they think about this crazy lady speeding up next to them and staring. I don't think I will ever stop looking for you.

Lily stayed at Laurie and Jim's house Tuesday night. I missed her. I remembered how I took her up north for Memorial weekend, and you kept calling me to see where we were at and when we would be back. When we got back, Trenna wanted to hold her and you said "I haven't seen her in two days," and wouldn't stop hugging and kissing her.

I love you baby. XOXO

Yvonne

March 3, 2005

Today in the sun, I bid him farewell
A man, a hero, I never knew well

Like many before him, who answered the call
Wearing a badge, he was destined to fall

Though by choice a long life and a happy old age
Would he have chosen, had he written the page

But the office he chose never promised long life
Just half of his salary, for his child and his wife

He went without fear, into the darkness of night
Bringing comfort to some, to some others light

Easing their pain and calming their fears
He did his duty, never asking for cheers

A husband, a cop, he answered the call
We bid him farewell for he gave his all

February 28, 2005

Yvonne, stay strong. The love you and Mark shared is so special, and what truly wonderful gifts you had in each other. Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and Lily always. Peace, my friend.

Michigan Resident

February 25, 2005

Mark,

Every day I shed many tears. Every day I wish I had my life as I knew it back. Every day I thank God that I knew a love as wonderful as yours. Our love goes on forever in my heart and in Lily. You once wrote to me "you are my love, my life, my everything." A love like ours never dies. I miss you, baby. I love you. XOXO

Yvonne

February 24, 2005

Sometimes God picks the flower
That is still in full bloom;
Sometime, the rosebud's chosen
That we feel He's picked too soon.
Sometimes, the flower is fading
With petals floating down,
But God knows the perfect time
To gather flowers from the ground.
There is a heavenly garden
In which God takes great pleasure
Because He's placed within it
The loved ones that we treasure.
He walks among the blossoms
Giving them eternal rest,
And I know that it must please Him
Because he chose our very best.

February 24, 2005

Yvonne,

I first learned of this web site after one of my husband's classmates was killed last February. I visit his reflections often and from time to time others. I came across your husband's today and my eyes are filled with tears. You are living the nightmare that all law enforcement officer's wives dread every day. My husband has had several "near misses" during the past year and each time I can only imagine what it would be like to have to look into the eyes of our sons and tell them their daddy is not coming home. I know what I imagine does not even come close to your reality. May God bring you strength and you and your daughter be warmed and comforted by the memories and love of your husband.

Colleen
Wife of a NJ State Trooper

February 22, 2005

Mark,

What a blessing you have given to Keith and I in Emma. We waited so long to have the baby we dreamed of, and we know you sent her to us from Heaven. Thank you for watching over her during the pregnancy and for being with her through her early delivery and stay in the NICU. She has shown tremendous strength and is doing so well for being a preemie. We know that you showed her the way to get bigger and stronger in order for her to come home sooner than anticipated. You truly are her Godfather.

Emma will grow up knowing who her Uncle Mark is, how special a person you are, and what role you played in her life. We are so happy that Lily has a new cousin -- she already loves to kiss Emma's picture and is getting better and better at saying "Emma" instead of "Memma." Lily is truly special and I hope that Emma and Lily become as close as sisters.

Thank you for our heavenly gift. You will forever be in our hearts.

Love,
Stephanie, Keith and Emma Blooming
(sister-in-law, brother-in-law and niece)

Stephanie Blooming

February 15, 2005

Yvonne,
I often say that I can't imagine how you can go on after what you've been through , but any time I spend more then five minutes with you I'm reminded of how .It's so clear that Lily is your breath ! You are such an awesome Mommy. Dispite having her father taken from her ,Lily is going to grow up to be such a strong ,smart, loving person .A perfect reflection of you and Mark .When Lily is old enough to understand , she will be just as proud of you as we all are .Yvonne ,You are an inspiration to us all.

Anne

February 8, 2005

Mark,

The pain is still so deep, the tears are sometimes uncontrollable. There will always be the unanswered question of "why", although no reason could ever justify our losing you. This still seems so unreal, but it is so painfully real.

Because she is my little girl, it is so difficult to see the pain and sorrow in Yvonne's eyes. I constantly worry how Lily will be affected when she learns what happened to the Daddy she can only love from Heaven. I see her innocence as a toddler, and can't help but wonder what her little mind thinks as she says "Daddy" when she sees your picture, or your badge that we wear as charms, tattoos, and over our hearts on shirts in your memory. When she points to the badges and says "Daddy", it is all we can do to hold back our tears and say to her, "Yes Lily, that is for Daddy, and we love Daddy so much".

How could such a monster do this to Mark, to my little girl and to my precious granddaughter??? Their lives have been altered forever.

My prayer is that no one ever has to go through this immeasurable pain. To all our friends in law enforcement, please stay safe out there.

Yvonne's Mom

February 8, 2005

Mark,

I can't believe it's almost eight months that you've been gone. It seems like yesterday and years at the same time. There are so many things that I miss about you. All of us went out for Mike's birthday on Monday. Every time we are all together it pains me to think of how much fun you would and should be having with us. I picture you right there with us, with your arm around my waist, laughing, and drinking a beer. I hope you were there with us.

I am so glad that we have such wonderful friends. You were always such a good judge of character. Harold has been such a source of strength for me. It is hard to reach out and call someone when I have a really bad night, but it's easier to call him. He makes me laugh and gets me through it. He is a special person and I know how much you loved him. He is researching punching bags for me. I laughed because he's doing what you would be doing, finding the best one.

Sometimes I miss you so much I just don't know what to do with myself. I thought it would get easier, but it only gets harder. I long to see your dimpled smile again and to hear you laugh. I glance into a room and expect you to be at the computer, or sleeping, or in the rocking chair with Lily.

I am so mad that you are not here. You lived life with such a passion that it's hard to believe you're gone. How can it be? I look at pictures and I want to pull you out of them and bring you home. When it gets rough, I try to focus on Lily. Remember when you told me that a part of you will go on forever in her? Most times she is the only thing that keeps me going.

Lily's new thing in the car is to say "choo choo" when we pass a semi. She likes to sing "twinkle twinkle little star" and "five little monkeys" while jumping on our bed (of course). I took her to my mom's work and she made every teacher that passed by play 'ring around the rosie' with her. She sure knows how to get her way. But what else would we expect from your daughter? I remember you asked me what I thought she would be like being that she had your personality but being the first born. She certainly has many aspects of your personality. Thank God for our beautiful baby girl.

I love you, baby. XOXOXO

Yvonne

February 2, 2005

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane,
we'd walk right up to heaven,
and bring you home again.

From all that love and miss you.

February 1, 2005

Mark,

Here's another one that reminds me of you.

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I hung a collage of pictures in Lily's room for her to see you every day. She still points to your picture and says 'daddy.' She even shows Caesar your picture and says 'daddy' like she's explaining it to him. Her new favorite thing is feeding our fish. She calls them 'guys.' I tell her all of your fish stories. She also loves it when I sniff her neck like you used to do to me. She laughs just as hard as I did. She reminds me so much of you each and every day. Thanks for watching over Emma. I know you are her guardian angel. We love you and miss you. XOXOXOXO

Yvonne

January 30, 2005

to the friends and family of officer sawyers and the entire shpd:

its hard to believe that it has already been over 7 months now since his life was ended so tragically. each time that i drive down the intersection of 17 mile and utica ( not very far from the police station) i feel a sense of sadness for your loss and yet a sense of safety as i feel that he is watching over all of us from heaven. each time that i pass by the scene at 15/van dyke the first thing i think of is mark and the family that is left to mourn. to the family, please know that the citizens in sterling heights and surrounding communities still think of mark and we still remember officer 76 and the ultimate sacrafice that was made. may god bless and comfort you during this difficult time

January 20, 2005

Memories of the Heart

I close my eyes and feel you near
It's almost like you're standing here.
I say your name, you turn and smile.
I hold that vision for a while.

The memories that I have of you,
one by one they come to view.
We laugh, we talk, we even cry,
within my heart, just you and I.

I smell the scent of your cologne,
a fragrance different than my own.
I touch your face. I stroke your hair.
I feel your presence everywhere.

My cheeks are wet from sorrow's dew.
I cling to every thought of you.
I cannot bear to look away.
I fear the vision then will stray.

Forever you are in my heart;
the place where dreams and visions start.
When I need to feel you near -
I close my eyes and you are here.

Janice Winslow Harper

Mark,
Thank you for wearing the uniform proudly and the sacrifice you made. I pray that your family has help in this journey and never walks alone in their pain.

Sara Winfield
Wife of Brandy EOW 10/14/04

January 18, 2005

Mark,

I remember when we were in the academy together, (Class of 2001-C, D.M.P.A.) and you were always falling asleep in class so we gave you the nickname "Sleepy"! You always gave so much of yourself in the academy and I will always remember your gentle smile. Rest in Perfect Peace Mark and go with God!!!

To Officer Sawyer's Family,

I cant even began to fathom what your pain must be like. I can only hope that as time goes by, God will ease the pain in your hearts. May God continue to Bless you always...

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

Police Officer Gilda C. Mason
Detroit Police Department

January 18, 2005

A POLICE OFFICER’S WIFE

A special kind of woman.
A cut above the rest
Always rating her
among the very best.
How many goodbyes are shouted
without a fond embrace.
As duty steals her man away
for the dangers he must face.
How many meals are ruined
or tender moments disturbed.
All for the call of loyalty
to which her man must serve.
She can push the mower,
or paint a room in need.
How she can stretch a dollar
is a miracle indeed.
She's a mother, a lover,
a chauffeur and a nurse.
A living symbol of the phrase
for better or for worse.
Rich is the man indeed...
That become this Woman's life.

-Author Unknown-

Anonymous

January 15, 2005

I have been thinking ALOT about you lately... I miss you. Not sure what to write, other than I miss you.

Friend

January 13, 2005