Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

This song was sung in our church recently. Try to obtain a copy and listen. It is beautiful and comforting...

"I Heard the Voice of Jesus"

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down,
Thy head upon My breast."
I came to Jesus as I was,
Weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting-place,
And He has made me glad.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"Behold, I freely give
The living water; thirsty one,
Stoop down and drink and live."
I came to Jesus, and I drank
Of that life-giving stream.
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"I am this dark world's Light.
Look unto Me; thy morn shall rise
And all thy day be bright."
I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that Light of Life I'll walk
Till traveling days are done.

Michigan

August 7, 2005

Yvonne & Lily,

I have to tell you, I went to the Neil Diamond concert a couple days ago and I had to smile when he sang a song from Shrek!! My thoughts immediately went out to you & Lily. And then I thought about how Mark would most certainly make fun of me for going there in the first place! Why not? Everyone else is!! Haha! But then came to mind Joe Tharrett’s story about Mark’s vast array of music interests…it boggles his mind. He laughs when he tells anyone about that! And it makes us smile!

I too come to this page every day, and I have to tell you again how much I appreciate your letters to Mark. It warms my heart to read about Lily’s new adventures, her likes and dislikes, and particularly her unmistakable connection with her Daddy. I am looking forward to watching Lily grow up into the fine young lady I know she will be because you are a phenomenal mother! I don’t know if I ever really thanked you for inviting me to her birthday party and the other family gatherings that I have attended. I love talking with you when we are together. To know you better is to know Mark better. I just wish we could have met under different circumstances. Life has certainly thrown you a curve ball, but you are standing at the plate with grace and dignity taking one pitch at a time. Some day, you’ll get one right across the plate and you’ll find that strength you’ve been praying for and hit it right out of the park!! Until then, I’ll be here rooting for you!

Sent with love,

Kathy

August 6, 2005

Yvonne:

You amaze me. Your strength, courage and love - for Mark and Lily. I also go on this site every day - for the last year. I've read other reflections for other officers also, and I've never seen anything like yours. Keep him in yours and Lily's hearts forever. No one in this City will ever forget. We will always be here for you both.

Wife of a Sterling Heights Officer

August 4, 2005

Mrs. Sawyers,
I pray for you everyday and I don't even know you or your husband. I pray that you and Lily will find peace in your hearts and know that your husband and father are with you morning, noon and night! Keep the faith!

August 4, 2005

Mark,

I took Lily to get a "banana spit" as she calls it. She wore her new Sesame Street t-shirt. Reminded me of that favorite shirt you had as a kid. The family picture used to hang on the wall at your parent's old house with you wearing it. I don't remember what was on that shirt, though. I think maybe Cookie Monster? I'll have to ask your mom. I drove by your parent's old house today. It looks so different. So many memories from there, I wished I could step back in time.

Today was a rough day. I couldn't get the images out of my head from the hospital. Reliving that is a nightmare, yet many times I find myself wishing that I could go back to that moment again. At least I would be able to hold your hand again and kiss you. I kept thinking about how I wish I could switch places with you. Not because of the pain I'm in, but because I love you so much and it hurts so horribly that you are missing your little girl and much more. I know that many of us in that hospital felt like that and wanted it to be one of us and not you. That's how much you are loved by your family.

Lily and I were playing today in the living room. She wanted me to color with her. She pulled out an older drawing pad that we started coloring in a year ago. I didn't notice until later that she left it open to a page I had colored for her many months ago that said daddy loves lily. I hadn't seen it in so long, I forgot that I did that. For a moment I thought it was you. Maybe you flipped it to that page though.

Lily's favorite movie is Shrek. We watch it 24/7. She dances like Shrek and Fiona. She makes me laugh. Now she kisses me 'like shrek kisses his girl.' She puts her hands on either side of my face and kisses me. She is so goofy. She insists on watching the movie while she's eating. Her new favorite is spaghettios with franks. She even eats them for breakfast, just like you did! She loves tomatoes, too. She still calls them "buckles."

I can't believe how fast our princess is growing up. She talks so much. Mark, she is so smart. I am astounded by the things she says and remembers. She has your personality. She is determined to get what she wants. She is always on the go, never sitting still. It's hard not to give in to her every demand. She has lost so much in losing you that I find it difficult to say no. Maybe I spoil her, but I feel like that's the least I can do. I know the poor girl is probably sick of hugs and kisses from mommy. I can't help it. Loving her is loving you.

I love and miss you. XOXO

Yvonne

August 3, 2005

To all,

Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers. It means so much to me when people leave a reflection for Mark, me, and/or Lily. I come to this site everyday. It gives me strength and hope. The stories that you share about Mark or yourselves always touch my heart. For example, I often go to Mark's park, and to hear that Adam's son took his first steps there made me smile. There have been many more stories like this. I particularly like hearing about Mark and how people knew him and their memories of him. It's learning something new about him, a different side that I didn't get to see. I have printed hard copies of this website so that Lily will be able to read all of the reflections one day.

Thanks again for all of your love and support. Mark would be humbled and proud.

Yvonne

August 3, 2005

Yvonne,
You don't me and I don't know you but I swear we have so much in common. I come to read reflections every now and again. My husband says "why do you read those, they only make you cry?" I guess Mark's death effected me a lot in respect to my own family.

Our daughters are only days apart in age and I can relate to all the milestones you are going through with Lily. Only I can't imagine doing it without my husband. My daughter has her daddy wrapped around her finger and it sounds like Lily does too. I love how you keep Mark in the present and won't let her forget him. It melts my heart to read some of the things she says.

You should be proud of the way you are raising your daugher. She will grow up knowing how special her dad is and that he is forever in her soul.

I wish you and Lily the best and pray your memories of Mark carry you peacefully through life.

Wife of a police officer
MI

July 30, 2005

Mark,

Lily is now in her 'big girl' bed. She has a twin bed with the safety rail. I bought her bedroom furniture which will be delivered Tuesday. She likes her bed, but doesn't want to go to bed at night. She cries "I don't want to." I have to tell her a story before bed now. She got that from Grandma Diane. She likes to hear about my aunt Barb's cat Peaches. Tonight she kept asking me to tell her stories about "daddy, mommy, and Lily." I told her about the day we met, our wedding day, her birth, and just little things about us. She liked when I told her how she used to tug on your ears to wake you up. She kept saying, "again, again."

We took the collage of pictures off her dresser and I talked to her about all of them. She didn't want me to put it back on her dresser. She wanted it leaning up against her bed. I started to cry looking at your pictures. Lily asked 'what's the matter, momma?' I told her momma was sad and missed her daddy. She rubbed my head and kissed me. Then she asked for a story about the kitty again.

I dreamt of you last night. I don't remember much, except your smile. I love you so much, Mark. I miss you. I'll see you in my dreams. XOXO

Yvonne

July 28, 2005

Mark,

Today they rode their motorcycles again to honor you and all of our fallen heroes in Michigan. The Thin Blue Line of Michigan held it's anual "Ride To Remember" starting from Dave & Busters. Even though the skys were none to friendly, this did not deter the dedicated riders and volunteers from participating. The weather cleared up, but not before a few bikes went down, shortly after taking off. They are ok, though. This is how much our officers mean to them, risking their own safety to honor you.

It was also difficult to be there again. Last year on the morning of the ride we were all so emotional just seven weeks after losing you. The ride was dedicated to you, and to a living hero, Officer Chris Garon of the Hamtramck PD. Also on that day very early in the morning, that demon that stole you from us, cowardly took his own sorry life as he was being closed in on by your brothers & sisters in blue.

We will ride every year to honor your memory. And as Lily gets older, she will understand what the TBL of MI is all about, and why it is so important.

Love,
Mom #2

Diane Bawcum
Mother-In-Law

July 24, 2005

Dear Mark,

Just a note to let you know about promises kept to keep your memory alive to Lily. She absorbs more than we realize, and always says my daddy this, and my daddy that...

She spent the night after having a somewhat crabby day. So as I tried to get her to sleep in Grammy's bed, I told her I would tell her a story. When I asked her what did she want to hear a story about, she said "about my daddy." I had to fight back the tears as I started to tell her about you. I told her how handsome you are with your blond hair and pretty eyes. I told her about all the sports you loved to play. I told her how much you love her mommy, and that she was daddy's little girl. I told her that you were a police officer who helped people, and that you had a lot of friends. As I was naming off all of your friends, 'Uncles' Harry, Rich, Jay, Eddie, Donnie, and Mike who is in heaven with you, she drifted off to sleep. I am so sure she calmed down because I was telling her all about her daddy.

Just wanted you to know, but I'm sure you already do, that your little girl always thinks of you.

Love & Miss You,
Mom #2

p.s. The flowers I planted for you in my garden are growing very nice. They surround a poem by a memory stone I placed there for you too.

Diane Bawcum
Mother-In-Law

July 22, 2005

Over a year has gone so painfully by, and it is still so hard to believe this has happened to you. Each and every day, the reality of it hits over and over again, and every day I say the same thing to myself, "I just can't believe it."
Miss you.

July 20, 2005

Mark,

I dreamt of you the other night. I was in a friend's car and saw you. I shouted your name and got your attention. You were not happy with me. I woke up right after that dream because my cell phone was ringing. It was three in the morning. I think it was a wrong number. I was very upset and disturbed by the dream. I called Harold and told him about it. I said "i know your going to laugh when I tell you what mark did in the dream, but it upset me very much." He did laugh. He thought it was funny that I would know what his response would be. He assured me that you are not mad at me and that you love me and it was just a dream. I hope I never have a dream like that again. You being angry at me is unbearable, even in a dream.

I am working on finding a good home for Caesar. I need a little help from you, O.K? This is a tough one. We were so excited to get him. You knew what kind of dog you wanted two years before we got him. We drove down to Ohio and said we were going to look at the puppy he had available. I knew we were coming home with him. We brought another lady's dog up to her that she had bought from the breeder. You nicknamed him "wizzer" because he peed on everything in our backyard. I used to tease you about how much Caesar loved you when I was the one who walked him everyday and spent the most time with him. He loved when you sat on the floor with him. He would try to lick your ears! Our first baby. You showed his pictures to everyone and anyone. You were so proud of him. I hope you understand my decision. It's been a very difficult time for me.

I love you. XOXO

Yvonne

July 12, 2005

Mark,

I know the beginning of the song isn't us, but the rest of it describes alot of how I feel. XOXO

We Belong Together

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
What I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side

We belong together
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
Baby nobody else
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface

I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody else
We belong together

Yvonne

July 11, 2005

Mark,

I don't know why, but I am finding it harder to write on the website. I have tried a few times, like on our anniversary, and I broke down in tears and ended up canceling it. I had a bad night the other night. One of those three in the morning stints. There is a lot going on.

Lily is finally off of the "binky". The doctor told me to cut the end off. It worked really well. She asked for it and when I gave it to her she started crying, but I told her it broke. She asked me to fix it. When I told her I couldn't she said "papa fix it". She walked around for a day or two talking about how her binkies broke. I asked her if she wanted to throw them away and she said no. Finally on the third day she said "I do it" and threw them in the garbage. The next hurdle is to get her out of her crib and into a "big girl" bed. She's ready, but I wanted to do one thing at a time.

She tells me to "stop talking" when she wants me to play with her. She enjoys talking on the phone and hiding under the covers or a towel and saying find me! Today she wanted me to hide under the towel with her. I asked her who was going to find us being that both of us were hiding. She said "my daddy find me".

She likes her stethoscope and taking turns listening to each other's hearts. She has had a few 'timeouts' for hitting, biting, or kicking. Today she put ME in a timeout! I asked her what for and she just laughed. She made me sit in front of her and she put her arms around mine like I do to her and told me to be a good girl. She's hysterical. She wants her OWN of everything. Reminds me of the stories of you as a kid.

I met two of your friends from high school this weekend. By chance I saw his name and knew you had been friends with him. The one friend told me about letting you drive the viper at the car dealership he works at. I know you had to of enjoyed that.

Lily knows your park. I drove by there the other day and she said "daddy's park." Just from being there one time! It is such a nice memorial to you. Remember when we went to Imus park? I was nine months pregnant. We stopped and got subs and sat on the grass there and ate. I think we were out looking at leg machines that day. You told me I was an 'eating machine' because I ate every two hours! We always enjoyed each other's company. Even if it was just a car ride for you to check out something you wanted to buy. I miss driving with you. You always sang your George Straight songs and had your hand on my knee.

Lily and I drove up north for the fourth of July. The whole way there I missed you. I would close my eyes for a moment and wish it was like it used to be. Me in the passenger seat relaxing or sleeping and you in the driver's seat having a chew and playing your favorite music.

I think that it's the little things that are the hardest. I miss my better half. You were the one person I could confide everything to, trust, talk, laugh, love, cry, and hope with. I don't know if I will ever feel the way that I felt when I was with you. The loneliness without you is almost unbearable. Yes, I have friends and family, but it's not the same.

I had to buy a new camcorder. I think ours was stolen in Washington D.C. I got home and I had the bag but no camera. I had not taken it out the whole time there because I never had the time. I bought the type of camcorder you had been asking about when we bought our other one. It records on mini DVD's. I have to transfer our little tapes to a CD so that Lily and I can watch them.

We talk about you everday. We blow bubbles for you to catch. Lily likes to write your name on her magna doodle. She knows her daddy's name now. She says it so cute. "mawk" She asks "where my daddy go?" That breaks my heart. She is too little to understand much, so I tell her daddy is in heaven with God. Yesterday she said that her daddy was coming home today. If only those innocent little thoughts were true.

We love you. XOXO

Yvonne

July 11, 2005

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

July 2, 2005

Mark,

Oh how I am reminded day in and day out that our freedom doesn't come without a price. Why it was you that was chosen to pay is beyond me. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten and your memory lives on in all of us. I will forever carry your memory where ever life takes me. This is my promise to you.

Kathy

July 2, 2005

Mark,

Every time I hear this song or see the video, it makes me cry. It's like watching myself.

Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son
Everybody says he's crazy
I'll have to see

I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably going on and on
It seems I'm doing more of that these days

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh you left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Somtimes I feel that I'm so lucky
To have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Susan says that I should just move on
You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me round here talking to this stone
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh you left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes I feel an angel's touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky
To have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

I probably wouldn't be this way

Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son
Everybody says I'm crazy
Guess I'll have to see

I love you and miss you.XOXO

Yvonne

Yvonne

July 1, 2005

Aye Mark, Just wanted to let you know I pay a tribute to you before every shift and every softball game. We won the Twin diamond tournament and dedicated it to you. It would of been nice to have you batting behind me again but i know you were with us all the way. Donny also gave me the honor of playing & wearing a 76ers jersey last week. I just wanted to let you know that you are missed and that i'll never forget the good times we had (opening day,the beach,Ohio State/Mighigan game and watching u figure the exact amount to charge everyone for gas lol). Miss you brother.

OFC. J.NAGY
PLEASANT RIDGE POLICE DEPARTMENT

June 27, 2005

HEY MARK JUST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY FATHER'S DAY(BELATED) NATHAN,CYDNEY AND I SAW LILY LAST WEEKEND AND SHE IS SO PRECIOUS! YOU AND YVONNE SHOULD BE PROUD! EVERYONE MISSES YOU I CAN SEE IT IN THEIR EYES! NATHAN STILL TALKS ABOUT YOU AND MIKE AND ALL THE CRAZY THINGS YOU'D DO! PEACE AND LOVE ALWAYS TELL MIKE HELLO AND WE MISS HIM! KARI

KARI FRY

June 23, 2005

Yvonne,

I'm writing this to you and your family hoping that it touches you in the same way my wife and I experienced the other day. My wife was unable to attend the park dedication ceremony on Sunday. She asked me take her and our 10 month old son there on Monday. We arrived at Mark's park around 6:00pm. My son whose name is Andrew has been on the verge of walking for a month. Everyday my wife and I work with him. We went near the swings. My wife sat down on the park bench and I sat on the grass. My wife placed Andrew on the grass next to me and then sat back down on the bench. Andrew then stood up in front of me and began to walk towards his mother. My wife and I could not believe what we just saw. We were pretty close to 3 feet apart. Andrew took his first steps in Mark's park. My wife and I are firm believers that Mark was there to make sure that Andrew did not fall. My wife and I will always treasure our baby's first steps and I'm proud to say that they were in Mark Sawyers Family Park.

Adam Vanderleun Emergency Dispatcher
Sterling Heights Police

June 9, 2005

MARK,YVONNE, LILY AND THE REST OF THE SAWYERS FAMILY AND FRIENDS,
THIS WEEKEND'S EVENTS WERE VERY EMOTIONAL YET GREAT WAYS TO CELBRATE MARK, I'M GLAD I WAS THERE! I JUST WANTED TO SEND MY LOVE AND THOUGHTS TO ALL OF YOU! ALSO, I AM SO GLAD YOU ALL CONTINUE TO MAKE NATHAN FEEL WELCOME, LIKE A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY, I KNOW HE ENJOYS BEING AROUND ALL OF YOU! EVERY ONE OF YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO HIM!YOU ARE
HELPING KEEP MARK AND MICHAEL CLOSE TO HIM! I THINK IT PROBABLY HELPS ME TOO!I NEVER COULD'VE IMAGINED HAVING TO GO THROUGH WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE ENDURED THIS PAST YEAR. NOW I KIND OF LOOK TO YOU FOR GUIDANCE. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR OPEN HEARTS AND ALL THE SUPPORT YOU'VE GIVEN US IN OUR TIME OF NEED AND AS ALWAYS I AM JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! SEE YOU ALL AT LILY'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! (:

KARI

June 7, 2005

Mark,

It was such an honor to celebrate your life this weekend at the candle light vigil, the park ceremony, and at the wonderful party your parents threw in your honor. Its such a tragedy that you were so suddenly stolen from everyone who loves you so, but it is so apparent how much you are still missed by everyone, and we know that you will be for a long, long time. It is so unbelievable how fast a year passes. All the pictures that your parents had up at the party were so nice and we can’t help but to mention that almost everyone who looked at the one of you when you were little had the same response. “Gosh, does Lily look just like Mark in that picture.” She is such a little angel, and Mark, you are all we see when we look at her.

We can’t wait until Peyton gets a little older so we can explain to her why Mark Sawyers Family Park came to be named that. Until then, it is our hope to visit there as much as we can and enjoy a family day in the park. Thank you for such a wonderful weekend in remembering you. We will always miss you.

Dennis & Jen Brozowski

June 6, 2005

Mark as you know this has been a tough weekend for all of us. They way you were honored this weekend made things a little bit easier to accept but nothing about any of this has been easy for anyone. everything still just hurts so bad i miss talking/competing/arguing/and everything else we used to do. The officers from the department have been great as well as the dispatchers and of course the Chief i have met some great men who are very dedicated to the job just like you were, i can see why you were so anxious to become a police officer it is one of the most honorable professions a person can pursue but i guess there are some bad things that come with the territory and the men in blue are always in harms way but then again i dont believe you guys all feel that way cause all you know how to do is get the job done and keep our streets and neighborhoods clean. i miss you so much mark so many things have happened lately and i feel so alone but i couldve always talked to you about how things were going and we could always find a way to have at least a little laugh about it, i miss your sense of humor. The candle light vigil at the target was a moving experience they had the car doors there and i could just envison you in the squad car doing police work it was very hard for all of us but the way the community of sterling heights came out to support you was very heartwarming. The park dedication on sunday was very nice too. it is a very nice park and i can see why you were so fond of it it is a beautiful way to honor your memory and i want you to know mark that it will be there forever and they will talk about you for always. #76 will always be a hero and will live in our hearts and minds forever

Donald Colpaert

June 6, 2005

Mark,
1 year ago your were taken from us by a coward who could not face justice. I pray that this comming year Yevonne and Lilly will be able to enjoy the new house and feel your love every day in the breeze and sunshine.
I will never forget you or your service to us.
Please watch over all of your fellow officers here as they continue to protect us.

June 6, 2005

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you are gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place... by God's grace
Where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again..
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But now you're home
And now you're free, and...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so...
We wait with hope
We ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope.

Mark - one year later, and we promise we will never forget you or your family.

You are forever in our hearts. Sawyers family, you are forever in our prayers.

Friend
Sterling Heights PD

June 5, 2005