Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Mark,

I've heard and seen this song and video a few times now. Always brings me to tears thinking of you...

Who You'd Be Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go

I see your smile
I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
I still can't believe your gone

It ain't fair
You died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair
You died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Today, today, today

Today, today, today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

We love you and miss you. XOXO

Yvonne

October 20, 2005

Mark,

Well, it took a long time but I finally came to see you today. It was the first visit for all of us (Kimmy, myself and Melanie) since the service. Well, it was Mel’s first time period, but you know that. Being there was surreal. As I looked around, I more or less re-lived funeral but it wasn’t sad this time. In fact, I felt a sense of peace…perhaps you had a hand in that. The chimes that someone left for you were playing a very quiet melody while we stood and reflected on our memories of you. You had such an impact on so many people, those who were lifelong friends, those of us who were blessed for only seven short months, and those who never even had the good fortune to meet you.

I like to believe that you are also responsible for the friendship that Yvonne and I are building. She is such a wonderful person and an even better Mommy! Somehow, no matter what we are talking about, we always find ourselves giggling like schoolgirls!

And that Lily…what a little ham! She always greets me with “Hi Kathy! Where Miller at?” For only meeting my little dog once, she sure fell in love with him! I think the feeling is mutual! I’m curious, what do you suppose she was trying to tell Yvonne and me the other day when she was “doing” our hair in the playroom? She’s good, but nothing could have helped either of us that day! Haha!

Thanks for the continuing smiles, and the new memories. You will forever be part of all that know and love you!

Kathy

October 18, 2005

Dear Mark,
I guess I just can't stop thinking about you today. I went to your park today, and was getting very emotional even before I arrived there as it was the first time I had been back to the park since the dedication. You must have known how upset I was because as I but the car in park, the song "In the Arms of an Angel" started to play. This brought even more tears as this was played at your funeral, requested by your mom.

"In the arms of an angel, may you find some comfort here." I felt you were there telling me to find comfort and not sorrow while visiting your park. I asked for a sign from you that you hear and see us when we talk to you. I guess I got my sign.

Again,
Love & Miss You
Mom #2

October 11, 2005

Dear Mark,
I saw a picture of you & Yvonne the other day while at Tracy's apartment. She and Dave were in it also. I just stared and stared at it, still not believing all of this. The photo was all four of you sitting by the loveseat at my house. 'Loveseat' - how fitting a word for that picture. For you can see the love in your faces. The kind of love I have witnessed between you and Yvonne many times since that photo was taken. A love you should be able to physically express even still. Now a love that carries on through the heavens and in her dreams.

Love & Miss You,
Mom #2

October 11, 2005

Hello Yvonne, I just wanted to let you know we think of you, Lily and the whole family ALL the time. Nathan and I frequently talk about Mark and Michael and some of the things they used to do! Some of your passages on this site are so beautiful that my heart aches for you, but at the same time I can't stop reading! It's nice to hear some of the silly things Lily does and how you two are getting along! I hope you know you are all in our thoughts and prayers everyday!
Take care, Kari

Hey Mark, you are in our thoughts all the time and I hope you and Michael have reconnected, tell him we said "hi"
you are both missed very much every moment of everyday! We realize you have paid the ultimate price and we all respect you for that! We hope you are both at peace! Kari

Kari

October 8, 2005

Mark,

I heard Lily talking to you yesterday in her room after she got up from her nap. I opened the door expecting you to be there...

We love you so much. xoxo

Yvonned

October 8, 2005

Mark,

Lily and I are listening to the songs that you downloaded on the computer. She loves Kid Rock 'cowboy.' We only listen to the first two words over and over. She likes hearing cowboy over and over. I asked her if she wanted to type for you and she said yes. Here you go...

tttg,,,,,,bbbbnn\\\\\\ kj
\ .; /[ .;'po j/ lp u j h gbb g bg rf

We love you. xoxoxo

Yvonne

October 7, 2005

Mark,

What a hectic time it has been. I went to the COPS widow's retreat two weekends ago. I didn't really want to go, but I am so glad that I did. I really took some big steps there. I climbed the 'alpine tower'. I'm not sure how tall it is, somewhere between 40 and 50 feet. I was very scared, but I kept thinking about you and your family and how you guys love challenges. I want Lily to grow up knowing that mommy faces challenges, too. I knew that I was going to do it for you especially. I wanted you to be proud of me. I also did it for myself, to prove that I am stronger than I sometimes feel. I told myself that if I start climbing, I will not stop. I will get to the top. Actually, I wasn't too worried about the climbing up part of it, it was coming down. You know how I am about heights and not being in control of a situation. I told them I was fine with going up, but could I please climb back down instead of jumping? They laughed. It took all of my strength, trust, faith, you name it... to slide off the edge of that tower and hang from the harness. Once I did it, I was overcome with emotion. I did it! I felt like you were watching me. I was so excited to call Michelle and your mom and tell tham what I had done. I knew that they would understand what a big thing that was for me.

Oh, something funny, too. I had Tom & John drive me to the airport so I wouldn't have to park and figure out the shuttles. Again, you know how I hate to fly and I had never done anything on my own like this. I was proud that I found my way through the check in, the security, and the gate. As I sat and waited, another widow, Katy, with whom I had planned our flights together, showed up and we got to talking. Guess who missed her boarding call? Don't ask me how BOTH of us didn't hear it boarding. We looked up and all of the sudden, there were no people standing there. We went over to ask and they pulled the stairs away from the plane. I couldn't believe it. We were able to get a flight out two hours later. Your mom called John and told him he was fired! He was supposed to make sure I got on the plane. She laughed and told him that I didn't have enough Sawyers' blood, because that's not like your family!

Michelle and your mom took care of Lily for me. They showed her airplanes and told her I was on one. She said she was going to catch me. She was so excited when I came to pick her up. She had a huge smile and said 'momma, i love you!' What a beautiful moment. She melts my heart.

I went to a conference while I was there on helping children grieve. I had alot of questions about when to start telling Lily, what to tell her, and so on. I want her to not be afraid of life but I know she has to know the truth. Everything I read and thought was affirmed in the conference with the psychologist. Sitting in there and talking to other widows, once again I was so appreciative of the relationship I have with your family. They know that I am the mommy, and support me 100%. They are so helpful and loving and want what is best for Lily. I know you would be proud of them, you already were before all of this.

During the campfires, people do skits and tell jokes. The last night, someone got up and started telling a joke. Out of all of the jokes in the world, she told one of the only jokes you knew and loved telling everyone. The 'dime, dime, quarter, buck' joke. I got upset at first, but Angie said to me 'you see, it's your sign, Mark's here with you.' By the way, you told the joke much better. Then again, maybe it was just the way you laughed and enjoyed the joke so much that made it better. That dimpled, closed mouth laugh that you had.

Lily's trampoline and playset are up. She is having a ball. She is still in this hitting phase, though. The other day we were jumping and I got tired so I sat on the trampoline. She wanted me to get up so she hit me. I told her that made mommy sad and that mommy does not jump with little girls who hit. So I get off the trampoline, and she says 'momma, i no hit no anymore' but I stuck to my guns and said no, mommy is not going to jump with you because you hit mommy. She said 'ok, i jump by myself.' That little stinker! She was bouncing like a little bunny rabbit. Michelle cracked up when I told her that story.

Lily still wants what she wants when she wants it. Your mom says, "ok, little mark." Lily keeps asking about your fish. I told her that he is in heaven with you. She said that she wanted to go to heaven, too. I told her that someday we will all be together again, but not for a very long time. Then I told her that you are watching over us, and that we can talk to you and dream about you.

She said she was sad the other day and when I asked her why she said 'because daddy can't dance with me.' I didn't know what to say at first, but then I remembered how Michelle had dealt with something Kyle was going through. I told her about all the people that love her and all the people that she could dance with. She said 'ok!'

There is much in my heart that I want to share and tell, that it is sometimes overwhelming. The important thing is that I talk to you everyday, even if it's in my mind. I hope you hear me. I still need and want you in my life. Even if it is as my angel.

I love you so much. Say hi to Mosher for me, I've been thinking about him alot lately. See you in my dreams... XOXOXO

Yvonne

October 4, 2005

Dear Mark,

I send this to you on Lily's behalf. It is for her and for you. These are partial lyrics from a movie I bought for her. I started to play it and it took my breath away. For I know you will always be there for her, helping her spread her wings.

"On My Father's Wings"

If you were with me now
I'd find myself in you
If you were with me now
you're the only one who knew
all the things we planned to do

I want to live my life
the way you said I would
with courage as my light
fighting for what's right
like you made me believe I could

And I will fly on my father's wings
to places I have never been
There is so much I've never seen
and I can feel his heartbeat still
and I will do great things
on my father's wings

Someday with his spirit to guide me
and his memory beside me
I will be free
to fly on my father's wings
to places I have never been

On my father's wings
On my father's wings

Love & Miss You,
Mom #2

Diane Bawcum
mother-in-law

September 27, 2005

Dear Mark,
Yvonne leaves today for her spouses retreat through COPS. My heart leaves with her, for I am sure she will have an emotionaly charged weekend. Lily is in good hands with your mom, dad, and sister while she is gone. Please be with her more than ever this weekend. She still needs you.

Love always,
Mom #2

Mom #2

September 23, 2005

To the family and friends of Officer Mark Sawyers and his fellow officers in the Sterling Heights Police Department:

On behalf of our entire family, we wish to extend our sincerest condolences on the grievous loss you suffered when Mark was so brutally murdered. His heroism, valor and bravery will be forever remembered.

In reading the reflections about Mark, it is obvious he was a man of honor and a man devoted to his family. Yvonne, your messages to Mark are so touching...your love for him shines like a bright beacon. May God watch over you and Lily as I know your guardian angel Mark is watching over the two of you. Your messages reminds me of the messages my daughter-in-law Jo Ann sends to my son....so full of timeless and eternal love.

The reflections also show that his peers respected him and so many have fond memories of their times together. Mark will never be forgotten by those who cared about him, nor will he be forgotten by those who honor his courgage and dedication to his job, even if they didn't know him personally.

May you continue to be comforted by the support and caring of your law enforcement family, and other police survivors. We grieve for you and with you. Our family lost our beloved Larry Lasater when he was fatally shot this past April during a foot pursuit of two bank robbers, so we know the anquish you are experiencing. Please know that the brotherhood and sisterhood of law enforcement will always be by your side on each step of the journey ahead of you.

This reflection is sent with the utmost respect for the years of service Mark gave to his community and the citizens of Michigan, and the supreme sacrifice he and his family made on June 5, 2004 when he gave his life in the line of duty.

Phyllis Loya, mother of fallen officer
Larry Lasater, Pittsburg, CA PD eow 4/24/05

September 19, 2005

Mark,

Well, I started teaching a new school year. I remember once telling you how I loved the new year, it was so exciting. You said 'only 26 more to go!' Laurie is watching Lily for us still. Lily still loves their youngest, Eddie. She has been going through some separation anxiety, though. She tells me 'mommy, don't go to work' I tell her I don't want to, but I have to! She says Mrs. Laurie is her 'teacher.' She does well after I leave, but it is so hard leaving her when she's that upset.

She's getting her molars in, I think. She has had low grade fevers and says she doesn't feel good. I asked her yesterday what doesn't feel good and she said 'ME!' I laughed so hard.

Lily has been asking for you a lot. She asks 'where's daddy at?' I tell her that you're in heaven. She says 'I need him, get him' Breaks my heart. I tell her that we all need you, too, but that you are watching over all of us.

I've been missing you so much lately. I long to see and touch you again. It's everything about us; we were so good together. I miss holding your hand. I used to hold on to your ring and pinky fingers instead of intertwining our fingers. I miss kissing your eyelids. I miss laying my head on your chest and listening to your heart beat. I always thought you were my superman... invincible. Never got sick, never complained... but you sure did like to sleep! You'd cocoon yourself up in our comforter. I haven't forgotten the 'love taps' you gave me, either. You felt so bad that time you actually split my lip. Of course, the next day you enjoyed joking about it and telling everyone. You and your lethal elbows!

I was trying to focus on the positive things today. I remembered the day I showed you the pregnancy test results. The day before the test wasn't very clear. I wasn't sure what it meant. The next day, it came out positive. I waited for you to come home, shaking with excitement. When you got home, you started to make a sandwich and I asked you how your day was. You said OK. Then when you asked me about mine, I came up behind you and hugged you, but put the pregnancy test out for you to see. You turned around to me and with a shocked, happy smile. You were so excited, you broke your own rule. You said we couldn't tell anyone for three months. But Harold came over to work out with you and you had to tell him. You thought it was hilarious to tell everyone that Caesar was going to have a brother or sister. You liked how they tried to figure that one out.

It is so difficult sometimes to sum up our past, how I feel, and what's going on lately. How do I convey nine years of a love like ours? Nine years... so short. I remember joking with you about that. I asked you if it felt like we'd been together as long as we had, and you'd say sometimes longer!

All I know is that I would not wish this pain on anyone. Somedays it hurts so bad it feels like my heart has been ripped out. I know that sounds weird, but I do feel physical pain in my chest. I know Michelle has experienced that as well.

We are hopefully moving Lily's playset from the old house to the new one tomorrow. The officers are also going to try to get her trampoline together. Lily will be so happy. She keeps saying how 'Joe's coming with my playset; I love him.' I told him that and he laughed.

Tom watched Lily tonight while I used one of my gift certificates for the spa. It was very relaxing. I just wish I could shut my brain down sometimes. I tried as hard as I could to think of absolutely nothing. I wish I could tell you that it worked. But I did almost fall asleep during the facial!

Lily still has me tell her stories before bed each night. I try to tell her something new about you each day. She said that you thought her spitting out her yogurt today was funny. She must know that you were watching her and laughing. I sure was. I got a few good pictures, too. I know I'm not supposed to laugh because it just encourages her, but I couldn't help myself. She's too cute. She had it all over her nose, cheeks, and chin. Silly girl.

We miss you so much, Mark. Not a moment goes by that I am not remembering, thinking, or talking about you. You live on forever in my heart. I love you.

Yvonne

September 16, 2005

While I was taking a break at work Saturday night I was curious when I noticed a Universal Ambulance rig in the back lot. It only took a second to realize that the crew was stopped at your carport to pay their respects. It’s nice to see that your extended families (fire and EMS) still hold your memory close.
As a matter of fact, it goes far beyond that. I religiously wear my (your?) memorial bracelet. When people read your name there is never a need for explanation. Complete strangers remember you and they are genuine when they ask about Yvonne and Lily. I smile when I tell them how Lily is an adorable little chatterbox, and that they are both doing well.

Kathy

September 14, 2005

Mark,
I tried so many times to leave a message but its so hard. I miss you so much. I know we were not that close as we got older I was always like the black sheep of the family. But I also have a lot of memories of you and the time we spent together as kids, the one I remember like it was yesterday is when we were swimming in your pool on Battel and the walls caved in and we yelled out jaws that was so crazy and all the road trips to Florida. When we would stop for food they always had to seperate our french fries cause you would eat all your first then your sandwich. And you and Donnie used to love to scare my friends and I with that Michael Myers mask. I think about you all the time, we went to Jamica I know Donnie really missed be able to hang out with you even though their were no golf balls there for you guys (haha). When I do see Lily she reminds me of so much of you its hard but she is such a doll. She finally says my name and know she knows who I am. Well I know your so proud of her and Yvonne. I know you will always be looking over all of us. I am so proud to be your cousin.
Heidi Colpaert

September 14, 2005

You are missed by so very many people. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten.
Yvonne and Lily,
I didn't know you or your family, but you will always be in my prayers. I am going to school to become a Sterling Heights Police Officer, this tragedy made me realize that life is to short to not follow your dreams.

September 2, 2005

Mark,

I wish you were here.

It's that simple.

SHPD

September 1, 2005

Wow...where to start... I haven't been to the site in a long time. Not sure why, I ALWAYS think about you. I miss talking to you.

I am keeping your promise, I whish I never had too and it angers me. Yvonne is just an amazing woman as you know. She is doing a FANTASTIC job raising Lilly. Lilly is just a great baby, she is deffinately you!!! Boy that little temper, when she wants something, she wants something:-)

Ceaser has a new home, don't worry the guy is cool. I liked that he was not afraid of him and he had some rots in the past. I told Yvonne that Ceasar would be just fine. She had such a tough time with that decision.

I work by our old apartment at Eastern, I drive by it a few times a week. They re-done the entire complex, it looks a little different. When I drive by it I remember what it was like living with you there. I remember skipping class and playing College Football all day with you. Or when I woke up and you stacked the empty boxes of White Castles on my head.

At any rate I miss you bro.

August 22, 2005

Mark sorry i have not written in a couple of months it has not been easy as i have had no regular internet access. And although it has been over a year now since everyting it all still seems so new to me. I miss our friendship/brotherhood so much, there are son many things that i would love to talk about with and get your take on, i try as best i can to communicate with you and i know you do too when you can i have felt it on many occasions. i have lost so much in my life recently but your strength is helping me alot. i guess i have finally accepted the fact that i will never meet anyone like you nor have a relationship with anybody that is like the one we have. I am trying to remember as much as i can about some of the STUPID things that we used to get into i would like to share with Lily as much as i can. I have also tried to share with yvonne all that i can remeber but i cant figure out if this helps her or not probly a little of both i would imagine. i shot an even par at firefighter the other day i should have been 1 under but i made a poor decision on #16 and it cost me a stroke but i know you were there helping me shoot my best score ever maybe next time i can go under par. we are playing softball on tuesdays now and i still take yours and mikes gloves to most every game (sometimes they fall out of the bag in the car or at home). the softball bags are still serving their purpose, just another example of how we were always ahead of the game! anyway the fantasy draft is this sunday and i will again have a chair for you that no one else will be allowed to sit in i imagine you'll still be trying to look at my magazine and draft "my sleepers" well i hope anyway.

Donald Colpaert

August 22, 2005

Dear Mark,

This is only the second time I have left a reflection because it is so emotional for me. I miss you so much and still can't have a hard time believing that it is real. It just breaks my heart to write this when I should just be able to sit down and talk to you. You are in my heart and always will be. I love you so much. Yvonne is doing a great job raising Lily. Lily is so much like you. You may not be hear physically but you live on through Lily. She looks like you and acts like you. Right down to insisting on things being her way. She is so adorable. I have to stop writing because this tears me up. I never ever stop thinking about you .
Love Mom

August 21, 2005

Yvonne,

I'm not sure how to start. I remember Todd telling me shortly after he met Mark that he thought the four of us should get together sometime. He really liked talking to Mark. He said they talked about their wives and kids mostly, and the way Mark talked about you guys reminded Todd of us. He said you sounded like a nice person and he thought I would like you. Unfortunately, we didn't meet until several months later. When Todd called me that night to tell me what happened, I started crying immediately, not for myself, but for you. I went into T.J.'s room and looked at him...only 4 months younger than Lily. I thought about how I would feel, what I would do, if it were me. My heart broke for you. We met not too long after that. Todd wanted me to meet you. He wanted me to stop by when everyone was putting together that playscape for Lily. I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. But, you were so easy to talk to and the kids played so well together. I am glad I met you. Todd was right, I do like you :) I just wish it hadn't been under those circumstances. T.J. was looking through his photo album the other day. He kept wanting to look at Lily and "Lily's mommy". Anyway, I guess I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. I hope to see you again soon.

Nicole

August 21, 2005

Rest in peace brother. You will never be forgotten. "Heroes Live Forever".

Police Officer
Denver Police Department

August 20, 2005

Mark,

I took Lily to the Sterling Fest two weeks ago. She loved it. She rode the carousel and bumblebees twice. She wanted ice cream, popcorn, pizza, etc. She also got to ride on a golf cart. She enjoyed that.

The rest of her furniture is being delivered tomorrow. I don't know if it will all fit in her room! I don't want to take the rocking chair out of there. For some reason, I always picture you sitting in that chair watching over her while she sleeps. I might have Anne paint it for me to match her room. I'm sure I can figure out how to fit all of the furniture.

We went to the Wouters/Sawyers softball tourney on Friday. Your mom caught the opening pitch. Jason had your mitt and gave it to her to use. She was funny, waving Sgt. Wouters' brother in closer. She caught it, though. Lily wanted to play so badly. She went over and picked up a softball during the opening ceremony. She was a little cranky from a long day, so my mom & dad took her home so I could stay and hang out. I talked alot with Kathy. She is just so wonderful to be around. I can picture the two of you at work together, laughing and joking around.

Lily's new phrase is "momma you sneak me". She likes when I sneak up on her and surprise her. She cracks up. The other day, she was in her car seat and got upset because she wanted to drive! I told her she was too little, and she said "i try to drive." I told her she had to wait 14 more years. She said "i drive for a minute". Oh, that's a new one too, everything is "for a minute".

As usual, she asked for a story about you before bed tonight. I told her about your three fish tanks and the day your butti coferi (sp?) jumped out of the tank and your dad picked him up with newspaper and dumped him back in the tank. I remember when that fish died. He was so big, about a foot long. You had a hard time getting him out of the tank. You called all of your friends to see if someone would come help you, but no one was around. You said you could net him, but you wanted me to get him out of the tank and into the box. I was grossed out, but I did it because you were upset. You jokingly said that the fish was around longer than I was, which was true. You wanted to bury him, but I was worried Caesar would get at it.

Speaking of Caesar, we found a home for him. I think he will be happy there. On Sunday, Harold, Lisa, Anne Marie, and myself went and met the man that wants him. We all agreed that he would love Caesar and treat him well. I had a rough time before I went to Anne Marie's. I was gathering all of his paperwork, and looking through the photo albums of him. I feel so guilty giving him up. It's hard because I've lost another piece of our life together. But, I have to do what's best for Lily and me. He needs much more attention than I can give him right now. I keep thinking that if it were me that died, you would not have kept him either. I don't think you would expect me to do any different than you.

I cleaned the fish tank by myself the other day. I remembered most of what Rich and Eddy did. I had to call Eddy and ask him a question, though. I watched closely when I was filling it up, because I didn't want it to overflow. Well, I didn't watch close enough. It filled up quickly, and started sloshing out of the tank. I was able to suction the water out, though. Oh, by the way, Rich told me about that time you cleaned the tank and told me it was leaking when I asked why the carpet was soaking wet. You forgot about it while you were playing a game with him and let it overflow! I didn't really believe you anyway :-)

I saw a sterling officer in his patrol car at liberty park. It was bittersweet, because he had a chew in and reminded me of you; something about his mannerisms. But he made me smile when he said "your man chewed kodiak, right?" The fact that he remembered that detail about you, and the way he said it meant alot to me. I can't explain it.

People ask how I get by, and I tell them day by day, moment by moment. What I don't tell them is that each moment is a constant struggle. Each day I cry and wonder how a body could have so many tears. I often fall asleep well after midnight, tired as my body is, my mind won't shut down. But after every long painful night, I am blessed with a beautiful morning. My favorite time of the day is when I hear Lily call "momma, where are you?" I run up the stairs to her room and see that adorable face smiling at me, excited and ready to play. She is my salvation, my little angel, my gift of love from you.

I love you, baby. XOXO

Yvonne

August 15, 2005

Yvonne
Just wanted to let you know I think of You, Mark and Lily everyday. There's always something reminding me of one of you. Lately it seems whenever I am driving I hear that George Strait song "You'll be there" and you and Lily are all I can think of. Your love for Mark is so deep and true. I check out this website everyday and look forward to reading your reflections. They always make me cry. I love hearing about Lily and the adorable things she is doing. I envy your strength and courage. I know Mark hears you and sends you little signs. In some way I feel closer to you reading everything you write. I always want to do something to let you know how much I think about you and Lily and what a strong person I think you are, but I’m not sure what to do. So this is my small way of letting you know. You carry a special place in my heart even though you barely know me. Thank you for letting me into your life.

Kimmy
shpd

August 8, 2005

Mark,
This weekend a group of Police softball teams will gather to play in a tournament to honor you and Sgt. Wouters. It was great to see Lily this past weekend at Sterlingfest. She is getting so big. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of that horrible evening last year but I know you are keeping a close eye on us from up there. Say hello to my Dad up there.

K.Reese
SHPD

August 8, 2005

Mark,

Michelle, Don, Heather, Brandon, and I went to the Alan Jackson concert tonight. We had a nice time. Don had a few too many "liquid sandwiches," you know what I mean. We talked alot about you, Don and Michelle told me a few stories. During the concert, I heard this song and started to cry.

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when
Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when
Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when
Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when
Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when
Remember when
Remember when

I hate when I cry in front of people because then they get upset. I have a hard time grieving in public. My counselor said that it made complete sense. She said a husband and wife is the most intimate relationship you can have, therefore one's grief is very intimate and private.

I went to the cemetery today and left roses. I felt a cool breeze as I started to talk to you. I called Harold this morning. He made me feel better as usual. I could hear Lisa in the background adding comments. I wish you knew her like I know her now. Harold always wanted our opinion on who he was dating. It was like he needed our approval. I always tease him that she must be wonderful to put up with him. He cracks up at that. He is truly like a big brother to me. We even got in a pillow fight the other day. Of course, Lily and I tag teamed.

I miss you, baby. We love you. XOXO

Yvonne

August 8, 2005