Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

~Happy Birthday Mark~

You are greatly missed. Emma includes you in her prayers every night. She recognizes your picture and knows you are her Uncle Mark. Sometimes she sits with me when I visit your reflection page and will tell me, "That's Uncle Mark, I love him." As soon as she is old enough to understand, I will tell her that you are her very own special angel in Heaven and have been watching over her from the beginning. I believe that with all my heart and hope that Emma will believe it too.

Please continue to watch over everyone who loves you.

Stephanie
Sister-in-Law

November 29, 2007

Happy Birthday Sawyers! I just got off the phone with Yvonne and asked her to apologize to your mom for me because I cannot make it to her house tonight. You know how it is...afternoon shift. I asked Yvonne to release a balloon for me. (She knows what to write on it!) While I can't be with your immediate family tonight, I will be with your police family at the FOP. We will certainly do a shot in honor of your birthday!

Miss you!

Kathy
SHPD

November 29, 2007

Happy birthday daddy Mark. We're going to send balloons up to you. miss you. i love you.

lily
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo

(Lily typed the last two sentences, her name, and the x's and o's. She's learning her letters very well.)

November 29, 2007

Mark,

Happy Birthday. Today we celebrate your life and all that you gave to everyone. The pain of losing you is deep, but the joy of having had you in our lives is greater. Thanks for the George Strait video this morning "Carrying Your Love with Me." It made me smile and look up and out the window to a beautiful blue sky and shining sun. I love you so much and miss you.

Yvonne
xoxoxo

November 29, 2007

Dear Mark,

Today, on your birthday, you are on my mind and in my heart more than usual. My thoughts are also with Yvonne, Lily and the rest of your family and friends as they celebrate their love for you this evening on your birthday. I hope that somehow you will let them know you are with them tonight.

Forever in my heart,
Diane

Diane, Mother-in-law

November 29, 2007

Happy Birthday Mark. I hope you are celebrating in heaven. We’re looking forward to getting together tonight at your mom’s house for your party. We look forward to it every year. We’ve seen your parents a few times recently, at Eddy’s house, and it will be nice to see Yvonne and Lily since its been a while. I hope you will be looking down on us tonight and smile because we will be celebrating your life.

Jen Brozowski

November 29, 2007

Mark, we all hope you have a peaceful and Happy Birthday...the stars will shine down on those who love you and know that we think of you and your family often! Nathan is hoping to spend time with your family ...he loves them all!!! Have a good round of disc golf with Mike to celebrate your day!

Chris and Kari Fry

Kari Fry

November 28, 2007

Dear Mark,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I LOVE AND MISS YOU11111

Love Mom

November 28, 2007

Dear Mark,

Happy Birthday! I love and miss you so much that at times like this life is unbearable. I've got your numbers lit up on my family room window. Some of your friends are coming over for a little visit. Yvonne, Lily, Michelle, and I will come out to White Chapel when we got off work. We have a birthday balloon to tie on the wreath Yvonne and Lily left last week. At 7:00 everyone at my house will let balloons off with messages to you.
This breaks my heart writing this. This should not be. You did not deserve to have this happen and the pain it has caused is never ending.
I love and miss you.

Love Mom

November 28, 2007

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflection on the snow. The Sight is so spectacular! Please wipe away that tear, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear, but the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas chior up here. I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your hearts; even though I am so far away we really aren't apart. So be happy for me, You know I hold you dear. Be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above. I send you each a memory of my undying love. After all, "LOVE" is the gift more precious than gold. It was always most important in the stories told Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do, for I can't count the blessing or the love He has for you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear! Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

PB

November 26, 2007

"The Badge"
He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.
He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.
Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.
He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.
His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.
He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.
And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.
But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.
Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.
Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.
So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.
In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.
Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.
Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1999 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

November 26, 2007

Dear Mark,

This is one of the worst times of the year for me. Everyone was here for Thanksgiving but you. I watched for a sign but haven't got it yet. This week is your birthday and it just breaks my heart that you are not here.
Lily is here now, she spent the night. We went with Michelle and her family to Huckleberry Railroad. Lily loved everything. She got her picture taken with Santa and another one with a reindeer. She said he stunk. She loved the train. She kind of like the fireworks. She does not like the booming noise that goes with it.
I miss and love you. Send me a sign.

Love Mom

November 24, 2007

Hi Mark,

Just thinking a lot about you today. It's so hard to celebrate during the holidays without you here with us. You are deeply missed by your family, friends, and coworkers.

I've been thinking about you, too because I was going to color my hair auburn red. And I can't seem to bring myself to do it because you kindly shared with me (much later after I changed it back), that "Yeah, I didn't really like your hair that color." Lol! I know it's silly, but I always valued your thoughts and opinions. You had such a respectful way of showing how you cared. I knew you didn't want to hurt my feelings or offend me. That's what made you such a good guy. What's funny, is when Lily saw some of my pictures from your wedding, she asked me "Auntie Tracy, what's wrong with your hair?" Ha! I told her I used to color it red and asked her if she liked it. She told me "No, I like it blonder better." I shared with her that you once told me you did not like the red much, either. She wanted to know why and what you said. I told her that her daddy was always so nice about things and only told me after I changed my hair. I said me, mommy, and daddy were talking one day and I told them I might dye it red again. It was only then (when my hair wasn't red) that he offered his opinion. She seemed to understand the point I was trying to share with her; that you were always kind to people. Lily definitely has many of your personality traits, but how funny that she also shares some of the same thoughts and opinions as you did!

Well, as I said before, it seems silly. But it's the little things that are so important. The memories of you do help, and all of us hold on to them so dearly.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mark. I know you're with those that care about you today and everyday.

Tracy

Tracy Bawcum
Sister-in-law

November 22, 2007

It's Thanksgiving Day...I cannot get you off my mind. Yvonne is going down to your mom's house today for what I hear is a fabulous turkey dinner! Your favorite as a matter of fact! I can somehow picture you devouring your food and then watching football & drinking a beer with your family. I know its always at your moms place, but I imagine it all in your basement in Warren. Strange how the mind works. Maybe its from seeing that picture of you with the bra....ok ok~~ we wont go there!! LOL

The guys at work have finally put together a party. Just so happens its falling on your birthday. Another one of your favorite "holidays"! I know in my heart that you will be there with us in spirit, as you always are.

On this day of Thanks, I am deeply greatful that I was afforded the opportunity to call you my friend. Our friendship was so brief and yet you and your family have had such an impact on my life. I feel especially thankful that I have been blessed with Yvonnes friendship for she is one of the most amazing women I have ever met! While I have my own happy memories of you, Yvonne's willingness to share hers have brought much joy and laughter to those who love and miss you...

...and you are deeply deeply missed.

Thank you Mark...just for being you.

Kathy

Dispatcher, SHPD

November 22, 2007

Mark,

We put up the Christmas tree today. We decorated it red and blue. I came across so many ornaments with your name, or Lily's first Christmas. Lily was excited to hang them, of course all in a cluster at the bottom of the tree!

We went to the cemetery the other day. I bought a wreath with red and blue decorations on it to leave. Your mom, sister, and I usually put it there on your birthday, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make it out there with my due date so close to your birthday.

Lily had such a bad day that day. She started off in the morning telling me she missed you. She was crying and said she was upset she couldn't hug you and talk to you. She told me she didn't want your pictures up in her room anymore because they made her sad and she didn't want to think about it. She said she 'wanted none daddies.' I think so much has changed in her life, that she just wants it to be me and her again. She also said she loved you and wanted you to come back. I tried to explain to her that the pictures for me bring back happy memories. I talked about a few specific pictures and what we were doing and how happy we were then.

She fell asleep on the way to the cemetery. Once we were there, she placed a white dove ornament on the wreath. She did not want to leave. She sat next to your marker and said she wanted to look at the trees. She asked me to read everything on your marker. She asked about being buried and what you were in, and why we can't dig it up or open the lid. She thought the marker was like a lid on a box. She kept saying you were still here on Earth because you were buried there. I again tried to explain about the body not working anymore and what a soul is.

She asked so many questions about being buried. I explained to her as honestly as I could about our rituals with funerals and burials. On the way to and from the cemetery, she was so quiet in the car. It was so unlike her. She is such a talkative little girl. She just seemed so down.

Ironically, the book she picked to read that night was "What is Heaven?" by Maria Shriver. It does a great job explaining things, but it just added to the whole day of discussion about death and heaven.

At bed time she was still so upset that I didn't know what to do at that point. I asked her what mommy could do to make her feel better. She told me nothing because I wasn't a fairy godmother who could bring you back. She then said she wanted to talk to Grandma Faith. Well, your mom's phone wasn't working, so I asked her if she wanted to talk to Aunt Michelle. I told her Aunt Michelle knows alot about your daddy and you can ask her questions about when he was little.

Well, the first thing she asked your sister was what a funeral was. Poor Michelle, I didn't mean to put her on the spot. Thank goodness I had her on speaker phone, and told her what I had already told Lily. She didn't want to tell her something different. She did a great job talking to her, and told her that she and others said lots of nice things about you and that's how we said goodbye. She also let Lily talk to Alexis, which of course cheered Lily up. She just loves Alexis. She talked to everyone in Michelle's family, and asked all of them what a funeral is.

Michelle said those are some tough questions, and that her kids never really ask her that stuff. Lily asked me so many things that night. When she asked, I told her about burials and coffins having soft pillows and looking like a bed inside. She asked me when she died would I do that for her, come say goodbye. I was heartbroken on that one. I just didn't know what to say.

I often question if I am doing the right things with her. I don't know if it makes it worse or better to take her to the cemetery. I always make sure we bring stuff to leave or do, such as blow bubbles. When she is with me, I don't break down, we just talk to you and blow you kisses up to heaven. I think it will be easier as she gets older and can make her own decisions about doing these types of things. For example, the pictures in her room. I figure when she is old enough, she can decide if she wants any up in her room and which ones. I am not going to force her to keep them up if she doesn't want to. Secretly I hope she keeps them up. I pass by them every morning when she wakes up and every night when I put her to bed. It is comforting to me.

I talk about you alot, but not incessantly. I just try to let everything come naturally. I want her to grow up knowing that it's okay to have your pictures up and okay to talk about you. I want her to have that so when she is ready with questions she will feel comfortable enough to ask and talk about everything with me.

It's hard right now though, because she's at this stage where she is so smart, and asks so many questions, yet can not comprehend the answers fully yet. She asked me today what happens after heaven. I told her I don't know. I told her there are some things only God knows, and that we wish we knew.

Other than the bad day, she is doing great. She still loves school. We went on a field trip to the hospital and she made everyone laugh telling them about mommy falling and getting a cast, and how I made a "great save" because she didn't get hurt. She is so funny.

She still loves Hannah Montana and High School musical. She loves to sing, and makes up her own songs. I am amazed at how quick she is with lyrics and that they make sense. She is excited about her baby brother being born soon. She tells me how she's going to help me do things like feed him and bathe him. She loves to help cook anything! She wants to do everything herself. She is very independent and headstrong!

Keith and Stephanie took her with them to Frankenmuth last weekend to swim in the pools. She had a lot of fun. She loves playing with Emma. (And of course trying to show her how to do things and tell her what to do!) She came home with some prizes and was so excited about her tattoos she won.

She has also learned my mom and dad's cell phone numbers. She calls them several times a day! I have to be careful because if I'm busy doing something, she sneaks and gets the phone and calls them. It took her two days to learn both numbers! My mom and dad are good about it though. They know it's important for her to learn her numbers and that it's good that she knows their numbers in case of an emergency. Minor setback yesterday... she took the phone in the bathroom with her and dropped it in the toilet on accident! Yuck.

I've beeen Christmas shopping early this year. As usual, I keep seeing things that remind me of you or that I would have bought for you. I was at Home Depot, and I saw a keychain that had a blue metal shark, it was a bottle opener and had a blue LED light. I know you would have thought it was cool. I bought it. I don't know why. I tried to think of who I could give it to, but it didn't fit anyone else. I thought maybe I would put it on my key chain. I don't know, I just couldn't put it back down.

The holidays are tough in that way. There are so many memories, and things that are familiar, and it's supposed to be a time of such happiness. It's hard not buying you presents or having you here to see Lily enjoy everything.

Thanksgiving is only two days away. You loved your mom's turkey dinner. We would eat, you'd watch football with everyone, and we'd look at all the Christmas advertisements. You loved just hanging out over there. Your mom does make the best Thanksgiving dinner! I know it's a tough holiday for her because of how much you loved it.

Your birthday is just a few days after that. How you loved to celebrate your birthday, even if just going to the bar with friends or having people over. I miss teasing you and calling you old man. I miss that fun loving excitement you had. I miss how you always guessed what your presents were ahead of time. Mostly.. I miss everything.

I came across a box of cards and letters that you wrote to me over the years we were together. It was hard reading those words you wrote, it made me cry so much, but it also helped me to remember how much love you have for me. You were my best friend, my rock, my love, my life, everything. It had been three and a half years and I still feel shocked that you are gone.

What I wouldn't give to talk to you or hold you again. When I have a real bad day, I close me eyes, picture you in the kitchen in your blue tshirt, and think about how it felt just hugging you and holding you. The warmth of your shirt, the smell of your cologne, the way my head rested perfectly on your shoulder. I will never forget that feeling as long as I live.

I love you and miss you so much.

Love
Yvonne
xoxoxoxo

November 20, 2007

Hope you know that you're never forgotten - take care and look out for Bob Kozminski and Jason Makowski. You are al heroes.
Thinking about you and the other fallen heroes. Hope that I can someday impact the wordl the way you did.
rest easy.

Department of Homeland Security, Detroit MI

November 20, 2007

Dear Mark,

As usual I could not sleep last night, and as usual my thoughts always drift to you. I try to replace the awful images in my mind with those that are beautiful. Like the way you looked at Yvonne and would hug her from behind, putting your chin on her shoulder. I loved the special way you called Lily 'baby' before planting a kiss on her cheek. I loved the way you hesitated in thought before answering any question. I loved your dimples when you smiled, which was almost all the time. I admired you for being so humble in your profession, and for being so friendly to all you met.

With the holidays approaching, I know it will once again and always will be, the hardest time of year for everyone. I have been looking for a single blue candle stick to burn in your honor for this holiday season, but cannot find one. So instead, we bought icle lights, in blue. I just wish everyone who sees them knows it's really for you and all the others who have gone before you.

Stephanie makes sure Emma includes you in her prayers every night. She knows who you are in our family pictures. The other day Emma again said, "My Uncle Mark loves me" while looking at your photo. I assured her you did, then she said "He's comming back tomorrow." It is so heartbreaking to hear that from yet another little innocent child who will never understand why you are not here. Who will never get the opportunity to meet you in person.

Please watch over those that need it most, and a special watch over your sister-in-law in the hospital.

Love and miss you.

Diane
Mother-in-law

November 19, 2007

Daddy,

xxxxooxoxoxoxo/oxooxoxooxoxoooxxxoxoxxxxxxxxxxoxxxoxoxoooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxooxxxxxxxxxxxxxox

I love you. I love you forever. I have "what is heaven" book. I know you miss me. I wish you were down. But I know God wants you up there. But I really miss you forever. I hope I will see you again. But I will see you again when I go to heaven. I love you. I kiss you. I'll talk to you at bedtime. I'll hear you at bedtime. I love you daddy Mark.

Love
lily

November 15, 2007

Daddy,

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cj barrymore cD

November 15, 2007

Mark,

Lily had a blast trick or treating. She was Wonder Woman. She went up to the houses and yelled 'trick or treat' three times in a row! She said she wasn't afraid of the scary houses because she had super powers and used her cuffs on her costume! She really enjoyed passing out candy, too. She kept yelling, "kids, are you coming? I have candy!" She's too funny.

She had fun carving her pumpkin. She picked a witch's hat to carve into it. She liked picking out the seeds. I also bought a gingerbread haunted house to decorate. She loved doing that. She didn't want to follow the design on the box, she made up her own. It came out really cute.

At her school Halloween celebration she asked all the kids if they recognized her. She said "it's me, Lily, you can't tell because I have a Wonder Woman wig on." It's so fun to watch her at school. She loves being there.

I had a bad dream the other night about the night you died. It was like re-living it, but the details were totally different and nothing made sense. It was very disturbing. In the morning, Lily woke up and came was laying with me in bed. She started asking me why the bad guy shot you. She asked if he knew you were a police officer. I said yes, daddy was in his uniform and in his police car. She asked me how the bad guy got you out of the car. Then she asked if the bad guy was in heaven. I told her I didn't know, but that he is dead. She asked how. I told her he shot himself. She asked if it was an accident. Again, I told her the truth and said, no, he did it on purpose. When she asked why, I said because the police were coming to get him to take him to jail for making such bad choices. She hasn't asked me those questions in awhile, so it was odd that the same night that I was dreaming of those events that she asked me about them in the morning.

Yesterday was a rough day. I made a turkey breast the day before and showed Lily the wishbone. I told her that when it dried, we would break it and whoever had the bigger piece, their wish would come true. Poor choice of words on my part. I didn't even think about what I said, because that night she said she was going to wish to be a princess.

Well, yesterday, my friend Melissa was over and Lily asked if we could break the wishbone. So we did, and her piece was bigger. She said "I wished for daddy Mark to come back down. When is my wish going to come true?" The excitement on her face and belief that it was going to come true broke my heart. I felt so bad telling her that it would have to come true by Daddy coming to her in a dream. I was so shocked and didn't want to get upset in front of my friend.

Later, as I was driving in the car by myself I sobbed and continued to cry as I told Matt everything that had happened. I felt like it was all my fault for telling her that her wish would come true. I forgot about the childhood innocence in believing the impossible to come true if we just wish hard enough.

We went down to your parent's house tonight. The kids all played together. It was nice to spend time with them. Your mom cooked a ham dinner and we all watched the MSU v. U of M game.

The other day she found a quarter in the laundry room. She said it was one she lost. I said how do you know it's not mommy's? She said 'because it has an eagle on the back of it and so did mine!' Then in the car, she found a dime in the front console. She told me I couldn't spend it because it came all the way from Hawaii. I asked, well what should I do with it? She said she would keep it safe for me.

Thanks for the dream the other night. It was cool to be young adults again and relive that time of carefree innocence. I'm glad I got to spend time with you, if only in my dreams. I love you and miss you as always.

Love
Yvonne
xoxoxo

November 3, 2007

Dear Mark,

Lily and Yvonne just left. Before they came I talked to Lily on the phone and she told me she was really sick and should ot be around Alexis and Kyle. Turned out she was pulling my leg. She was so sincere and had me convinced she was sick. Does that sound famiiar. You were pretty good about pulling the wool over my eyes too. Especially when you wanted something ike a signature for a car loan. You always paid your payments so that was okay but she just reminds me of you. The litle sweet talker. Anyways, they were down and so was Michelle and her kids. The kids put on a gymnastic show complete with tickets. Lily did several sommersaults. She can do them really good. Alexis was doing her back flips, etc and Kyle just goofed around. We had ham dinner and the kids had fun playing. They went to the park twice and walked up the block with Dad.
We saw Eddie and Christa today. It was Tristen's first birthday party. Of course Rich was there. Mike's mom and Nathan were there and so was Jen and Dennis with Peyton. It was nice seeing all of them.
The holidays and your birthday are coming and I dread them all. I use to love Thanksgiving but all that changed. It is such a rough time for all of us. I better go because this is just too much to think about.
I love and miss you.

Love Mom

November 3, 2007

...never forgotten

Officer
Bay City Police

November 1, 2007

when i heard the bad news i felt so bad for my aunt who had to loose her kind, nice and caring son who loved his family and friends. i hope that whoever did this to him gets caught and served life in prison.

Ashley Skrumbellos
cosient

October 30, 2007

My name is Jessica and many years ago I worked with Mark at The Moose Preserve in Bloomfield Hills before his police officer days. I later became a car sales woman and sold Mark a couple of his vehicles.

My mother died many years ago and is buried at White Chapel Cemetary. Today I took my five year old daughter to "visit" grandma. To my shock, next to my mother's plot is Mark's. I was stunned. I knew it was for sure Mark because we shared the same birthday which is on his stone...November 29th. We talked about that all the time when we worked together. I couldn't believe that with as huge as that place is, he was placed just one plot away from my mother. I told my daughter about him when she started asking questions about how I knew him, then I had a quick little conversation with him. It was nice. I feel honored that he was placed so close to my mother. Ironically, my mother's son...my brother... is a police officer too who started in Detroit and is now in an Oakland County police department.

I wish his family all the best and just wanted you to know that I thought he was one of the friendliest people I've ever met in my life. Mark and his family will be in my prayers.

Jessica.

Jessica Sage Feinberg
Past friend/co-worker

October 28, 2007

Dear Mark,
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you all the time. Eddie bought a house near us and we went there last Sunday. He has a huge yard like we had on Battelle. Jimmy is dating a co-workers daughter. Her mom is really sweet. I saw Kathy and Colleen yesterday. I saw Jason a little over a week ago when he gave me a ride home. I saw Yvonne and Lily yesterday. Lily was all dressed up with glitter on her shoes, dress, and face. She is so grown up. She talks just like an adult. Some of the stuff she comes up with is so funny.
I love and miss you terribly.

Love Mom

October 22, 2007