Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Suzie and kids,
You all are the true meaning of family and what it means to be there for one another. Your familiy has weathered storm after storm and although you feel weak at times your courage and strength are incredible and honorable. Your love and compassion for one another is unlike anything I've ever witnessed. Doug has so much to proud of in each of you three children and in you Suzie. He taught you well. Keep your heads up and lean on the Lord for he is your strength and salvation. Your family as always will be kept in my prayers and my thoughts.

I feel blessed to be part of your lives.

Pastor

May 21, 2008

Sue, Christina and family:

I know this is a tough time of year for you, especially since it coincides with Police Week but I want you to know I'm thinking of you. The pain is still there, I know, and you will ALWAYS miss him. When I read your reflections it makes me cry because I understand some of the feelings you feel. Please know that I think of you often even though I don't keep in touch like I should. We have a bond that not many people understand and I am honored to know you.

God Bless.

Denise L. Wise
Widow, Michael H. Wise, II EOW 6/5/04

May 19, 2008

My thoughts are with all of your loved ones today. Those that love you dearly miss you yesterday, today and tomorrow. The special place in their hearts will always carry their love for you and the fond memoires of you that that they cheris. Continue to keep watch over all of your loved ones and those still out on patrol. You have not been forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

May 11, 2008

The funeral line was long, There's an awful lot of cars, Folks came out of the restaurants, They came out of the bars.
The workers at the construction sites All let their hammers drop. Someone asked. "What is this all for?" And they said, "Aw, just a cop."
Some chuckled at the passing cars. Some shed a silent tear Some people said, "It's stupid," "all these dumb policemen here."
"How come they are not out fighting crime?" "Or in a doughnut shop?" Sure is a lot of trouble, For someone who's just a cop."
They blocked the intersections, They blocked the interstate. People yelled and cursed, "Damn, it's gonna make me late!"
"This is really ridiculous!" "They're makin' us all stop!" "It seems they are sure wastin' time, On someone who's just a cop."
Into the cemetery now, The slow procession comes, The woeful Taps are slowly played. There's loud salutes from guns.
The graveyard workers shake their heads "This service is a flop." "There's lots of good words wasted, On someone who's just a cop"
Yeah, just a cop to most folks. Did his duty every day. Trying to protect us, Till they took his life away.
And when he got to heaven, St. Peter put him at the top. An angel asked him, "Who was that?" And he said, "Aw, just a cop."
His Judgment Day:
The officer stood and faced his God, Which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shinning, Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, Officer, How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek To my church have you been true?"
The officer squared his shoulder and said, "No, Lord, I guess I aint, Because those of us who carry badges can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays, And at times my talk was rough, And sometimes I've been violent Because the streets are tough.
But I never took a penny That wasn't mine to keep.. Though I worked a lot of overtime, when the bills got too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help Though at times I shook with fear. And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept an unmanly tear.
I know I don't deserve a place among the people here. They never wanted me around except to calm their fear.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, it needn't be so grand. I never expected or had too much, But if you don't...I'll understand.
There was silence all around the throne, where the saints often trod. As the officer waited quietly for the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, Officer. You've borne your burdens well. Come walk a beat on heaven's streets, You've done your time in hell"

Motor officer Terry Pauley
Plano PD Plano,TX

May 11, 2008

I just wanted to say thank you to Chief Shertzer. He served his community well, and will forever be missed by all. It will be an honor to one day meet him. My prayers are with the family. God bless

Jeremy C

May 11, 2008

I went for a long run this evening up to where you were buried. It was probably the most enjoyable, peaceful run I've had in a long time. It is absolutley beautiful up there and it is just a fitting place for you to have been buried. I thought about how exactly four years ago I was sitting at the dinner table with you, Mom, and Rylee complaining about your low carb noodles you put in the spaghetti. I honestly don't come there much anymore, maybe you already know that. It's just that I know you're not there anymore. For the first few years I came all the time I think in hopes I would find you or it was just all a terrible mistake. I found myself thinking back to my last conversation with you in the hospital. I still get chills thinking about it. You did make it Dad. You made it home with God and I know you're happy and at peace. I have never been so sure about anything in my life. So all of us who were loved by you and truely loved you remember you and hold you close in our hearts on the fourth anniversary of your passing.

Love you lots,

Christina
daughter

May 10, 2008

Here it is four years since you have been gone and it sure hasn’t gotten any easier. I try to look to the future instead of the past but find it hard to do so.

I miss so much about you, your wisdom, your sense of humor, and most of all your guidance. How I wish you were here to help guide all of us through hard times. So often I think how different and easier things would be if you were still here but you aren’t and we all have to deal with that.

This is such a hard time of year. I know it sounds like I am always repeating myself but I miss you so much and nothing will ever be the same without you,


All my love forever,

Sue
Widow, Chief Douglas Shertzer Sr,. EOW 5/11/04

May 10, 2008

I never got a chance to meet you but I have heard so many great stories about you from Doug. You were a great person and you have a lot of family that cared so deeply about you. I had a chance to meet your son Doug and grandson Evan. I can only imagine how wonderful you were because you have an AMAZING son to carry on your legacy. He changed my life and from what I hear you made a difference in soo many lives also. We can never understand why things happen or for what reason but I know you are in a peaceful place. Thanks for being a hero and thanks for giving me the chance to share time with your son. My heart goes out to all of the family....your in my thoughts and prayers.

Bear
Friend

May 9, 2008

Chief,

We are thinking of you today and everyday. Please watch over all of us. We love and miss you!

Jeffrey and Kristine

Jeff and Kristine Donnelly
son and daughter-in-law

May 6, 2008

I didn't miss your birthday I thought of you pretty much the entire day. But that was no different from most days. I used to think this time of the year was the most difficult time. Now four years later the hardest times are when I'm doing something and I'll remember doing whatever it was with you, or as a family, or when something makes me remember something you said. Then other times I'll find myself thinking in certain situations this wouldn't be happening if Dad was still here or Dad would have done this or said this. That's when I miss you most, when I realize it will never happen again.

I just miss having you to talk to most of all. Eventhough you were my Dad I felt comforable coming to you about anything and I knew after the initial shock of whatever it was you would help me sort it all out good or bad. I think I just miss your friendship most of all. The way you could make me laugh and the way I could always make you crack a smile even when you were mad. Since you've been gone I've had relationships that have grown and some that have become non-existant. All of which I'm comfortable with. I have felt lately that I've neglected some relationships of those that I love most, but I feel that I've made it very clear to them how much they mean to my life. That has been very important to me. Obviously I can't go into detail about specifics, just keep us close to you. You know what each of us needs right now and in the future. Try to make whatever the need is happen.

If wishes could come true one of them would be for you to be able to come and see your grandchildren again. I would just love to see the look on your face if you could. Each of them are amazing in there own way. Jackson has been doing really good. He got his tube out on Wednesday after almost four years. He's a thinker mostly, doesn't say much except for his usual demands for me to get him what he wants at the time. Just sits back and takes it all in. When he does talk it's so darn adorable. He's become very michevious too, all boy. I never thought the day would come when I couldn't keep up with him, but it's here. The hardest part with him these days is trying to figure out what is a special need verses just having everyone wrapped around his finger. Rylee is good too. She's always busy writing, reading, singing, or talking. She started gymnastics last week. She gets an A+ for effort but it just doesn't come naturally for her. After her class we told her how great she did and she said "It's okay Mom I know I'm not that good, but I had alot of fun." She's just a great little girl. I'm so proud of both of them. One that sports do come naturally for is Ashlyn. She's absolutely incredible at gymnastics and just her overall athletisism. She's just amazing to watch. I think she gets it from Jeffrey. Lexi reminds me of a teenager. I think seeing her would make you cry for sure. She's just so big now and it still does break my heart to watch her grow so fast even having my own kids. I can still remember her flashing her peace sign at the age of two and yelling "Peace out dude."

So I know it's just wishful thinking. I know you will continue to watch over them and all of us until we get to where you are. Lots has happened over the past few months. We know Mike if up there with you now. Tell him we love and him and miss him too. Just another that was taken way before their time. It's makes us feel better knowing he's safe with you.

Lots of Love,
Christina

Christina

May 3, 2008

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I was last here. Just because I don’t leave a reflection more often, it doesn’t mean I think of you less. I think of you more and more every day and how different things would be if you were still here.

I just wanted to stop by today and wish you an early Happy Birthday. I can’t believe that you would have been 49 years old this Thursday, (April 24). You know that I would have been on your case for getting closer to the big “50”. Who would have guessed that you wouldn’t be here to celebrate it. How I wish you were.

Miss you
Love you always,

Sue
Widow, Douglas Shertzer Sr. E.O.W. 5/11/04

April 21, 2008

Wow Doug....some things will never change! You still somehow figure out how to get people's attention.

It's hard to believe it's been almost 4 years since you've passed. I'm sure by now you've become pretty good buds with my Step-son Joe.......he's a competitor too...and he had a hard time beating me at anything also....just like you.

Ya know Shertzer, we had some pretty good times back in the day. You were someone who almost always made me laugh......and I still remember...."it's colder in the city than it is in the summer". Anyway, as I grow older, I'm finding that our lives are made up of stages.....most of which aren't planned, but just sort of happen for all kinds of odd reasons. One of my most memorable "life stages" are the times you and I and our "circle of friends" were at our closest. Gosh I remember how you and I and Griffith would compete for that friggin ribbon. I think for the 3 of us, it really wasn't about the ribbon as much as it was a time for the 3 of us to simply get out and laugh about something..anything. And laugh we did, didn't we bud?
Heck I remember when you showed me where you and your dad etched your name in the old windmill at Evergreen. The first time you showed me, I could tell that your dad was something very special to you..........just like you were to Christina, Dougy(meat) and Jeffrey.
Anyway....that time of my life stands with some of the more special memorable times. It's funny though, as much as we sort of went our separate ways over time, whenever we saw each other it seemed we were able to pick right back up where we left off..........making an ass out of each other....guess it was a gift.
Talk about life stages, I'm also finding...and I'm glad......we never really forget about those who had a postive impact on our lives.....yeah I know you're shocked, but you did have a positive impact on me.....how??? You were my friend...and I probably didn't appreciate that as much as I should have....but I believe you knew it. A friend is someone who can make you laugh and make you angry...and in either case you're OK with it. We sure had our share of laughs and we sure could piss each other off at times, but I never questioned our friendship...and that's pretty cool.
I've read through a number of the postings here and it's very obvious to me that you are greatly loved and sorely missed........add another person to the list.....because I miss you too buddy.

Mike

Mike Hart
Forever Friend

February 25, 2008

I know it's been longer than usual since I wrote last. It doesn't mean I think of you less.

Things around here are busy which is a good thing. Rylee and Jackson are both social little kids. They both love school and are doing well. Rylee started asking alot of questions lately about you and death in general. I think I've figured out that she's starting to forget alot of things about you. The one thing she hasn't forgotten is catching caterpillars and collecting sticks on your daily visit to our house. She says she still remembers what you look like with your chubby checks. It's so funny because sometimes she and Jackson will be playing and all of the sudden she'll squeeze his cheecks and say "Jacks you have such chubby checks just like your Pop Pop". Its so cute. I knew the day would come when she started to lose some memories of you. It just kills me. I've had to say to myself in a lot of situations lately my dad is dead. My dad is dead. Words can't express how this just eats at me.

I try to do the best I can at turning that pain into something positive. Alot of times it's that hurt and the reality of watching my little Jacks struggle sometimes that drives me to no end. Whether it's something as little as just getting through the day when I'm dead on my butt and Jackson wants to play cars at 9:30 at night or Rylee wants to read one more book or when I'm running and need some motivation to keep going. This is where the push comes from. I've just decided that lots has happened that I wish didn't, but I can't change it so I my as well use it to push through things. I'm certain you wouldn't want any of us sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves and your not going to see that in me.

So along with this I've decided that not only will I have goals for the kids and their accomplishments. I think it's good for them to see Mom have her own goals. Seeing that I'm not getting any younger I've decided I am going to enter my 30's even better than I did in my 20's. I'm going to finish a marathon before April of next year. Key word here is finish. I know this is something you always dreamed of but didn't think you could do. It's become one of my dreams too. I have a lot of work to do, but life is short and I will finish not just for myself but for Jackson, you, and your memory. That's not to say I couldn't use a lot of help from you up there!

You were a great Dad to me and I will never forget the sacrifices you made for your family. I hope one day my kids will have as much respect for me as a Mom as I have for you as my Dad.

Lots of Love to you!

Christina

February 7, 2008

"The Badge"

He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.

He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.

Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.

He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.

His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.

He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.

And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.

But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.

Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.

Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.

So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.

In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.

Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.

Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1999 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

January 15, 2008

Here it is another Christmas without you. Holidays will never be the same with you not being here. Not only am I missing you not being here, but so are our kids and their kids. You should be here to enjoy seeing our Grandkids having a good time opening their presents on Christmas Day.

I remember when you used to play games with me about what you got me for Christmas. You would always make me guess and throw me completely off course. You knew that drove me crazy. I also remember how you always managed to figure out what all your gifts were. Either by shaking them or tricking me into telling you what they were. How I miss those times.

All the kids are going to be coming here for Christmas dinner this year. Yes, I am actually going to cook. I know you probably find that amusing, but I actually did a pretty good job at Thanksgiving so I thought I’d give it another try. Of course I get all frazzled making sure everything is all ready at the same time. Luckily for me, everyone is pretty patient.

I know that you are in a better place and are enjoying your Christmas in Heaven, but I can’t help wishing that you were here to enjoy it with your family.

Merry Christmas
With all my love,

Sue Shertzer
Widow, Chief Douglas Shertzer Sr. E.O.W. 5/11/04

December 22, 2007

dear poppop
i miss you. i hope you have a merry christmas.and i hope
you have a good time in heaven so i want you too have a very best time ever and i want you too have a good frind in heaven


love rylee

Rylee Sue Diffenderfer
granddaughter

December 20, 2007

I will remember Doug forever. He was a good friend to me and just about everyone in the community. I wish you were still here Doug.

Michael Shain
A Friend

December 17, 2007

I just realized I missed a month writing. I do this because it's the only thing that makes me feel closer to you. In some way it gives me sanity when it comes to not having you to talk to anymore. I still to this day cannot write without tearing up, but I feel so much better when I'm done.

So it's a hard time of the year, especially for Mom. If I've learned anything these past few years it's that your loss has left a tremendous void in her life. I've tried and tried up to this point to do everything I can to help mend it a little. I've realized I can't. She's an amazing Mom, Grandmother, and friend to so may people. There are many times when I've needed the strength and encouragement to keep on going in many situations and she was exactly that to me. I just wish I could be that to her sometimes in the way she needs me to be. Deep down I know the only thing that would heal her would be you coming home and it hurts to know it won't happen. I know you would want her to be happy even though you cannot be here. Help her in some way to understand and accept that.

The kids are great. Wow, it's feels great to be able to say that! Rylee excels at school and is so eager to learn. Her teacher said she wishes there were 25 Rylee's in her class. She's a great kid, but you already know that. She loves to draw and sing and is incredible at both. The neatest thing is that she excels so naturally and doesn't even realize how good she does. I'll keep her humble for as long as I can. Jackson has become quite a little climber and talker. He is putting words together and has become more conversational. I now hear "Hold you Mama" and "I don't know" a least 20 times a day. He's so cute. Now that he can climb steps he wants to conquer other things. Yesterday was his train table where he climbed on top, stood up with his hands in the air, and yelled "TA DA". He has started doing his business in the big boy potty too which is really amazing. I was told by the docs not to even approach this until he was closer to 4. I've learned that I know more about him than any doctor does. I think I've earned that right at least. He's ready so I let him choose the pace and we go from there no matter what we're trying to accomplish. They are both quite busy and I have to admit it's a lot of hard work, but they are so worth it. I wish you could be here to enjoy them with us.

The holidays were always a time for us to come together and be a family. Some of my best memories from my childhood were not the gifts I got, although they were never lacking, but all of us being together. Thanks for all of those memories. I truely do cherish all of them. I can still see your face when you would shake your gifts and always guess what they were. You were so goofy and kiddish at Christmas. Thanks for always making it fun and raising us to know what's really important in life!

Miss you and Love you!

Christina

December 4, 2007

Tomorrow we would have been married 26 years. You should be here with me so we could celebrate our anniversary together but instead I will be taking flowers to the cemetery. This is so unfair. So many things we have missed out on these past three and a half years not being together plus the future we will not have together.

I have been having a real hard time lately with this being our anniversary and the holidays approaching. May 11 and this time of year are always the most difficult time to deal with and I know that it will never get any easier. I just try my best to get through these times. I am so thankful for our kids, grandkids, and friends. Without them I don’t know what I would do.

Until next time,


Happy anniversary
With all my love

Sue Shertzer
Widow, Chief Douglas Shertzer Sr. E.O.W. 5/11/04

November 12, 2007

To the family of Chief Shertzer, I want to wish you all the best for the future and I hope your pain eases with time.

Rest in Peace mate.

Sergeant
Western Australia Police

November 1, 2007

Just wanted to stop and say hello and to tell you I miss you and am always thinking of you.

Things are going good and continue to be very busy. The kids are growing so fast! They are both loving school and really seem to just love learning and meeting new friends. I can't even explain how much joy and happiness they have brought to my life and I'm really proud to be their Mom. I know you would have been just as proud to be their Pop-Pop.

Rylee comes home with new stories that make me laugh all the time. She seems to learn the most things she shouldn't from kids on the bus, but I'm confident she knows right from wrong so I'm not too worried. One little boy already asked her to marry him the second week of school. She said it just made her laugh. I thought she was pretty much ahead of the game for Kindergarten, which she is, but I can definitely tell the skills she already had are getting even better which is fun to watch. She said her favorite part about school is the worksheets and recess. You would've gotten a kick out of her.

Jackson's surgery went pretty well on the right eye. His left eye now appears to need the same procedure. We kind of don't have expectations as far as these things go. We just try to be patient and take it as it comes. Next surgery is in two weeks for ears, brain stem test, and mouth. I try to be positive, but lets me honest it sucks having to watch what he goes through. He really likes preschool alot~ which is a relief. He has a new found love in dancing and singing. For a three year old he has some rhythm too. Yesterday he went up the stairs to his room pretty much alone for the first time. He needed a little help, but what an improvement. He got to the top and was so excited he had to give Rylee and I high fives! The kid is nothing less than a miracle. We were outside raking leaves today with Lexi and Ash and he just walked along and made their "soup" of leaves and grass or whatever it was they were making. I had tears running down my eyes watching him keep up and play like other kids do. Now that Rylee is in school she gets a lot of questions from her peers about Jackson, mainly about his hearing aides. She handles herself so well and never gets upset about it. I heard one little boy ask if he had mp3 players in his ears. She just chuckled! What really would make you laugh it the way Jackson will stare back at people who stare first at him. He looks at them like what the he** is your problem buddy! I know Mom gets a kick out of that.

So, I'll wrap it up. Before I forget I have to tell you I duplicated you Chicken Pot Pie last week on my first attempt. I didn't invite anyone over because I was positive I would screw it up somehow and didn't want anyone to know. I think I watched you make it close to a thousand times, so I probably should have been more confident. Josh just looked at me in complete astonishment (he usually does that when I cook something that is actually good). Then he said I think this was the first meal I ever had at your parents. I think anyone close to our family could say the same thing. For me there was still something missing and I know it was you. It was strange for me to sit with my family and do something we did as kids on a weekly basis. I miss those days and would give anything to have you back!

Til next time~
Love you much!
Christina

October 28, 2007

Just wanted to let you know that things are going fairly well. I am still trying to keep busy but with all the kids back in school it’s kind of hard. Watching Rylee get on the school bus the first day of school was harder then when our kids went to school for the first day. I just can’t believe that they are all growing up so fast.
Jackson is going to have corrective eye surgery next Monday. It will be out patient surgery but it will be difficult afterwards because I am sure he will have to wear a patch over his eye and he sure won’t like that. He is such a little trooper. It’s bad now when Christina takes him to Dr. appointments he is old enough that he is aware of what is going on. Please continue to watch over him. He is really starting to talk a lot. A few weeks ago he finally called me Nanny and that was really cool.
Fred and Shannon had their third daughter last Friday and that was pretty exciting. Her name is Jessica Elaine. Everything is going well with all of them. Emily and Sara are excited to have another sister.
Kerry and Bonnie invited me to go to Disney again in February and I think I am going to go. Disney is a pretty cool place. I wish you and I would have gone with them years ago.
Your cousin Butch stopped by a few weeks ago and it was really good to see him. It has been so long since I last saw him. We talked about old times like when we went to your family reunions.
Nothing else has really changed. I am still missing you a lot but I know that will never change. Some days are worse then others but I muddle through them the best I can. Until next time.

Love you, Miss you

Sue
Widow, Chief Douglas Shertzer Sr. E.O.W. 5/11/04

September 26, 2007

So today two special little people in your life had a very big moment in their and us parent's lives. I think the best thing I can do is ask that you watch over them and protect them as Rylee and Evan start school. Not only them but Lexi and Ash too as they also started at their school this week. I only wish you could be here to watch them all grow and develop their only little personalities. As we watched Rylee get on the bus today I thought of what it would be like if you could have been here too. I joking thought to myself that you probably would have had a cruiser follow the bus to school. Right about them Mom reminded me that my first day of Kindergarten you followed me the entire way in the patrol car and would occasionally call my name on the intercom. I can identify now with how you felt that day. It took everything I had not to jump in the car and make sure she got there okay. I guess being a parent is also about letting go~ That's why we need you to watch from up there!

Jacks is now in his third week of school and still loves it. What a great feeling. He comes home with notes that say how pleasant, cooperative, and charming he his. Not that he's not a good kid, but at first I thought maybe they got the wrong notebook? He's a great kid. It's just at home he tends to be a little demanding and rather bold with his sister and I. I was really pleased to hear that he is all those great things at school. Let's be honest the teachers at Warwick will probably one day cringe when they hear his last name when they see it on their roster, and will be pleasantly surprised with what they find. Just wanted to make you laugh!

On a more serious note Jackson is going to be having two surgeries that will all happen by the end of this year. One will be in Reading and one is Hershey. Help us all through this. They are not as serious as past surgeries, but nonetheless it take a toll on all of us to have to watch him endure this. He's a big boy now and understands everything that happens. It's much differenct from when he was a baby going through this. Now I have to some way find a way to calm his anxiety and uncertainty of surgery when I myself have a hard time dealing with it. I do my best. I just always look back on things like I could have done better in some way. To have to watch sometimes feels like someone literally reached in and pulled out your heart. I just pray pain and anxiety will be minimal on both for him. Watch over my big boy Dad. He's the strongest guy I know!

Better wrap it up. Rylee and I are both is Judy's wedding tomorrow so we need all the rest we can get!

Lots of Love Dad~

September 7, 2007

So here we go another month gone by. May sound crazy but coming here and seeing your face can actually bring a smile to my face. Not that I'm happy I have to come here to feel like I can talk to you, just seeing you gives me a sense of comfort.

This month your cousin that we hadn't seen forever stopped by the house to visit. I can really tell Mom enjoys when people do this, but in the same instance I know it's still hard for her. She does her best to not show it, but I know she's still empty inside. I'm not giving up on my hope that someday this feeling will get better. The kids and I were walking past and ended up visiting for awhile too. Apparently he used to babysit me when I was Rylee's age while Mom worked and you were on shift work. When he saw Rylee he said it was like time has stood still. He said it was like seeing me when I was 5 all over again. She thought that was pretty cool and so did I.

Jackson's first day of preschool was Friday. It was pretty emotional, but I tried not to show it and did my best to keep busy. I felt like I was constantly looking at the clock and wondering what he was doing. His nurse does go with him so she gave me the run down on how he did with it. She was so excited when they got home because she said he absolutely loved it. She said he did even better than she thought he would. They worked on writing, their names, and did some sort of song and dance with their names. So since the weekend he has revealed the new dance that is hysterical and I'm finding all kinds of little love notes from Jackson all over the house. Some on paper most on furniture and walls! Oh yeah that's Jackson for you. He's a hand full, but what do you expect?

Rylee is still anticipating school coming up. She had bus orientation and found out her two best friends from preschool are in her class so she is quite excited about that. She told us she had to hold onto the seat on the bus ride so she wouldn't fall off. It was pretty cute.

So things are constantly busy and changing right now. We took our first vacation last week as a family since Jackson was born. Prior to that vacations were always for upcoming surgeries. We took the kids on little days trips and had a great time. The highlight for them was the Philly Zoo. Rylee rode a camel and giggled the entire ride. Jackson was very promt in reminding us all of what animal we were looking at with his imitations.

So I will try to wrap this up, but before I do I want to ask you to be with Josh and the recent choice he made. Although I'm really proud of him and I knew this day would come sooner or later, I still have some mixed feelings but I think it's only natural. I don't want to go too much into it just please make his upcoming decisions clear and give him the strength he needs to get through it. From knowing him since middle school I know how far he has come in his life and what he has had to overcome. I have no doubt he can do anything he puts his mind to. Help him to believe this too.

Thanks Dad! We all still miss you and love you more than you could have ever imagine!

Lots of Love,
Christina

August 26, 2007

Chief,
31 years ago, today, you became a father to a wonderful little boy, who turned into an outstanding man. My days are brighter because I have a friend like your son, Doug.

I never met you, but from what I read and what Doug tells me about you, I see how you've helped to shape him.

Be with him on his special day!

j.a.m.

August 16, 2007