Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Today you would of been 44!!! I couldn't help but wonder what these past 10 years would of brought, and felt robbed of that opportunity for us all this morning when I woke up. Know that I am thinking of you and that we love and miss you with all of our heart....

michelle gray
wife

August 21, 2013

Big things are getting planned Stephan..you will be proud. A permanant reminder to your department of who you were, a reminder to your beautiful family that we really don't forget..even after 10 years

K Madayag

August 1, 2013

I've been shaing your story with my Criminal Justice students for the past couple years. For some reason we had a really in depth discussion tonight and they were asking alot of really painful questions. I got to share some funny stories. I feel like I got to spend some time with you but it always makes me miss you. I have them monitor ODMP every week and had them pick an officer to dedicate their work. You already know who I dedicate mine to..Miss you my friend. Watch over Michelle, the kids and the rest of us.

Kim Madayag

February 28, 2013

Steph,
The weather outside has been crazy, it reminds of the time you use to make your rounds to the pharmacy to make sure everything was ok. No matter how busy things were you always had a smile and new how to make others smile. Just know you are still making others smile. I want to thank you for showing me that you have to smile no matter what comes your way in life. Keep watching over your loved one. You are missed my friend..

a
Friend

October 23, 2012

Dear Stephan, It has been a long time. I havn't forgotten you,quite the opposite actually. Everytime I head to Fresno I look for your boulevard. I have had the worst 3 years of my life. I often think of you and your smile and wish we could talk like we use to. You always had a way to make me feel better. I lost my nephew due to an overdose, very questionable, but he was only 29. his 2 yr old daughter was sitting on his feet for two days before they found him. ripped my gut out,a year later i lost his sister from a drug overdose, beautiful girl 27 years old. I can not tell you the pain i feel. I am having such a hard time of it. You always had a way of listening and smiling at me, I remember how I would get into trouble at wal-mart for talking with you for too long. I really miss you my friend, Take care of my family, I know that you know who they are. Always remembering you. love to your family. Lisa

Lisa
friend

September 11, 2012

STEPH...
I just wanted to write to you on your birthday today...i can only wish that you are resting peacefully and i am sure you know I would give anything to be making your German Chocolate birthday cake for you today and the kids and I could sing Happy birthday to you on your lunch break like we used to.

I love and miss you so very much
Shell

michelle gray
wife

August 22, 2012

It's weird brother my relatives had a baby tonight, I saw the picture and all I thought about was you. It's wonderful to know that your presence is forever missed. So many of us think of you often and talk about the good times we all shared. Your memory is still making us all happy around work even through the tough times right now. We will never forget.........................57-16.

Joe , co-worker
57-19

June 22, 2012

Steph...
I can hardly believe it has been 8 years now that you have been gone. The PD had a beautiful ceremony to remember your life and your sacrifice on the 15th. It was Sunday this year and I was so proud to see so many people there to honor you. They truly miss working with you and all the life you brought to that department. The kids and I miss you so very much everyday. I can not believe your son will be graduating 8th grade soon. I am so proud of him and how well he is doing, yet I am saddened that you will not be by my side watching it. I have come to realize that the milestones will come regardless and find strength in knowing that somehow I know your presence is there, that 106 will pop up somewhere just like it always does. Just in time to remind me that you are always with us. You will forever be missed by "your babies" and your "shell". I am so thankful that I had the time I had with you, but what I wouldn't give to have you come home. We love you...

michelle gray
wife

April 27, 2012

Stephan,

I spent the entire day wishing I could be with your family, friends and co-workers as they honored you today in Merced. Unfortunately I couldn't be but I thought, all day, about what it was like to work with you and the other officers of Merced PD. I miss those days; we saw some crazy stuff, did some wild things, and we were all pretty tight. I was telling some of my new co-workers about you and about how you loved your Mocha Blast. I intended to buy a round of Blasts for the shift in your honor but calls for service caused us to be too late, and B&R closed on us. So, I hope you don't mind, but I bought a round of shakes at In & Out (Neopolitan). I told them that I knew you would have enjoyed it, and we would have certainly enjoyed your company.

Deputy Colin T. Smith
San Mateo County Sheriff's Office

April 16, 2012

I hope you are resting in peace. Keep giving your family the strength you always had. You are missed and thought about often my friend.

Your friend
Friend

April 15, 2012

Stephan, I am so grateful for you, being in so many life's. Another year has gone by and it seems like it was just yesterday. Your family is just amazing, knowing how hard it must be for them, yet I know they're charging on. I will see Michelle and the kids at 10:00 am. today as we all get together to honor a great man. We will never forget "106", "57-16"

Joe Deliman, Peace Officer
Merced PD Co-worker

April 15, 2012

A HERO IS NEVER FORGOTEN! THANK YOU...PRAYERS GO OUT TONIGHT FOR YOU WIFE AND CHILDREN.

p.o
peekskill ny

April 15, 2012

That dreaded day is knocking on the door once again. A day that makes us all confront some of our biggest fears and fondest memories. Bless you my friend. I miss you and think of you always. Rest in Peace, but watch over us all. It isn't getting any safer down here.

K Madayag

April 15, 2012

Stephan,

I just wanted to write you and tell you that after all these years I still look up to you, You were my hero as a child and I was devastated when you left. I still think of you almost daily and wish that I had spent more time with you as a growing up. You had such an impact on me and so many people who knew you.

I know your looking down SMILING!

I WILL NEVER FORGET 57-16

John Kulbeth

April 3, 2012

I just wanted to say hello to you tonight...sometimes the one way conversation in the dark isn't enough...i start to get mad because you don't talk back but i know you hear me...i miss you so very much and can only wonder where our lives would be if only you were still here with us...i wish you could come home even just one more time...i love you

Shell

michelle gray
wife

February 24, 2012

its amazing how long its been uncle? its been a while since i spoken too you, hope you can watch over me and guide me though the darkness

love you

Levon Gray
Nephew

January 17, 2012

Rest in Peace, Officer Gray. Your sacrifice is not forgotten.

Officer 11169

January 15, 2012

Stephan;

Taken me years to write this to you. I attended Fresno City College Class of 65 with you in 1996 in Fresno. Everybody could tell that you were a class act. Without your guidance and help I would have never graduated from the academy. You helped me a lot in the academy, and life.

Night that you died, was one of the worst night of my night. Hearing that Merced PD had a officer down made my heart sink. Then finding out that it was you, brought me to my knees. I couldn't hold back the tear, knowing that such a "great man" was taken from us.

You were such a great man, everybody know how much you loved your family and live in general. A few paragraphs can't describe what this lose means to me. I am glad though, to having known you.

Stephan, you did you job well you answered the call when the lord needed you. The watch is ours now. Rest in Peace my Friend, you were one in a million. I wil NEVER FORGET you. I love you like the brother I never had.

Annoynmous
Fellow Peace Officer

January 7, 2012

dear dad my mom sister and i miss you very much and are having a very hard time without you.

love, your son isaiah gray

isaiah
stephans son isaiah

August 22, 2011

Yesterday was your birthday and I really can't believe you would of been 42 years old...you were so young at heart and fun and full of life, even at 34 when you were taken from us you were like a big kid...your missed so very much everyday of our lives and loved even more...strange not to make your German chocolate cake still even after 7 years and not have you come home in your uniform for a quick celebration...why you always worked on your birthday I will never know but i guess it was part of your dedication that I respected so much....the kids started school today and still it seems odd to take them without you not being there because you were always so active in everything they did. I miss the family we were... i will always love and miss you more than I can say and hope and pray you are resting peacefully...

Michelle Gray
wife

michelle gray
wife

August 22, 2011

Officer Gray,
I know I am late posting I wanted to stop by and Thank You again for your brave sacrifice...we will never forget! I keep your family in my prayers always and look forward to meeting you in heaven...my God bless your family and keep them safe from any harm always

Kathy stevenson wife of
Sgt. Howard K Stevenson EOW 1/9/2005

April 29, 2011

A life taken too soon. Your memory lives on in your family and the many friends you made. Rest in Peace.

Dianne Murphy, Records Clerk Retired

April 15, 2011

Stephan...last night I had a dream you were with us. I woke up rattled and wondered if it ever stops feeling this way. I come to this site often yet lately have not wrote on it very much. Its such a strange forum...so personal you feel somehow still connected to you yet out there for everyone to read. Sometimes you can only reach out at what is left for us to be with you I guess. The dream was good this time because you were happy, that in itself is progress. But waking up can be so cruel. There's a song called dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer and it describes those dreams and how I feel. I wonder if you hear it sometimes when I play it and think of you.
I can't believe this April will be 7 years, it seems so long ago yet also like it was yesterday. The babies are doing great, your son is sooo tall he has your eyes and the beginnings of your mustache too...and Chacha is turning into such a beautiful young lady inside and out...we always knew we were going to have our hands full with those three gorgeous kids of ours..makes me sad your not getting the opportunity to see them, you were such a giving wonderful father... I hope your finally resting peacefully. Every April when I get the updated death penalty info on the "monster" I pray a special prayer that your soul is at peace now and resting the best way you know how.
I love you...shell

"When your dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part, you roll out of bed and down on your knees, and for a moment you can hardly breathe. Wondering was he really here? Is he standing in my room, no he's not cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone. When your dreaming with a broken heart, the giving up is the hardest part, he takes you in with his crying eyes and all at once you have to say goodbye. Wondering could you stay my love? Will you wake up by side? No he can't cause he's gone, gone, gone. Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? Would you get them if I did? no you won't cause your gone, gone, gone. When your dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part."

michelle gray
wife

March 6, 2011

Stephan,

Hey buddy, it has been way too long. I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry that I haven't been around your lovely wife and kids for a while. I met a woman tonight whose father was killed in the line of duty, SFPD 1972, Code Beverly. We had a great talk and of course it made me think of you. Actually, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. After all these years I realize I've never said it, here, or even really out loud to myself, but I'm sorry Stephan. I'm sorry I wasn't there a bit sooner, I'm sorry I wasn't riding with you like we did several days before, I'm sorry that I didn't take the time to get to know you and your family even better. I'm sorry that you are gone, because I know this world would be a better place with you in it.

I miss you

Colin

Officer Colin T. Smith
Half Moon Bay PD (formerly Merced PD)

August 11, 2010

We lost one of our own again today. It always brings me back to you and your family. I think of you and your family often. Please know we will never forget. Michelle and Babies, you are not alone. Things get rough but we are with you all in our hearts, prayers and thoughts.

Anonymous

June 12, 2010