Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Isaac, I started to wear my radio mic over the shoulder and under the strap like you wore it. Only thing is that I am so damn tall that wearing it that way would stretch the cord. When driving I would look to the right and it would snap off my shirt, bounce of the door frame, and hit me in the ear. So, I dont wear it over the shoulder anymore. Thought you should know, Ian

Ian
SFPD

June 9, 2005

Isaac,
I saw you yesterday and brought yellow (gold) and red flowers with a red and gold SF NINERS inspired heart balloons. This visit, it was easier to walk to you, but much harder to leave. I looked around at all of the loved ones that were lost, and yet, you still stood out. Your place of rest reflects your personality- accessible and open. The ladies at the flower shop wished you peace, and told me that they were keeping informed on the status of the trial. After they said that, the white male poodle climbed up on the table and kissed one of the ladies! Was that you?! Haahaa. You still touch lives and influence those around you...Renata, thank-you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, we love you and your family!

Bayview officer
Sfpd

June 4, 2005

When the Lord was creating Police Officers, He was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said,
"You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the requirements on this
order? A Police Officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle their uniform."

"They have to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."

"They have to be in top physical condition at all times,
running on black coffee and half-eaten meals, and they have to have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands . . . no way!!"

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before they ask, 'May I see what's in there, sir?'"
(when they already know and wish they'd taken that accounting job) "Another pair here in the side of their head for their partner's safety, and another pair of eyes here in front so they can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, 'You'll be alright, ma'am,' when they know it isn't so."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."

The angel circled the model of the Police Officer very slowly. "Can it think?" she asked.

"You bet," said the Lord, "it can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes, recite Miranda warnings in its sleep, detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop . . . and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. They can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Police Officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced, "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"That's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.

"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," He said.

Class 12

June 3, 2005

GOD SAW YOU WERE
GETTING TIRED,
AND A CURE
WAS NOT TO BE
SO HE PUT HIS ARMS AROUND YOU
AND WHISPERED “COME TO ME”
WITH HEARTFUL EYES
WE WATCHED YOU, AND
SAW YOU PASS AWAY.
ALTHOUGH WE LOVED
YOU DEEPLY, WE COULD
NOT MAKE YOU STAY
A GOLDEN HEART
STOPPED BEATING,
HARD WORKING
HANDS AT REST
GOD BROKE OUR HEARTS
TO PROVE TO US, HE
ONLY TAKES THE BEST.

Veloro
UC Police Department

June 3, 2005

Isaac you are missed so very much!! Sonia

June 2, 2005

Always thinking of you Isaac... Nina stay strong mammas, keep your head up!

June 2, 2005

In the future, can't wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real, feelings hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death

Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you

It's kinda hard with you not around Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts Big I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time ............

- I heard this song the other day, and all I could do was think of you. I played it back about 10 times as I thought of you. I miss you Isaac. Adele

June 1, 2005

I love you Isaac. I hope your in Heaven Smilin' Down. I can't wait for you to open up the Gates of Heaven from me. I can see your smile already!

June 1, 2005

Sweetheart Remember?

A Summer Love is beautiful but it's not enough to satisfy emotions that are shared between us
A Winter Love is Cozy but I need so much more, it just intensifies my wants to have a love that endures
An Autum Love is special at this time of the year but when the leaves are gone does that love dissapear
I never underestimate the New Love of Spring
But I need to say in my heart, I know my love is real

Cause Everytime I close my eyes
I think of you
It don't matter what the season is I still love you with all my heart and
I wanna be with you FOREVER where ever you are

I only think of you on Two Occassions that's DAY and NIGHT
I go for both if I could be with you only YOU can make it right....

May 31, 2005

Isaac, My Brother in Blue--


It was my honor to be in DC to serve your family, they are wonderful people and they miss you dearly. Keep your hands around them and keep them safe in all they do.

Greg

Sgt. Gregory E. Scott
Dept. of the Treasury/US Mint Police

May 25, 2005

I am a Deputy Sheriff in Washington State, my wife and I are currently expecting our first child who by the way is a girl. I felt like I needed to write this after reading the reflection that was dated on the 23rd of May 2005.

I pray that I too can be a great father and I also just wanted to let you know that your BROTHERS & SISTERS in WASHINGTON STATE, have not forgotten about you Officer Espinoza.

Deputy Sheriff
Washington State

May 24, 2005

As Bella and I drove home yesterday night, I sat and listened to her sing. At first I could not really understand what she was singing but as I just sat there in silence pretending not to be listening I heard her sing a sad song to you. She sang of how she missed her Daddy and how he died and how much she cried for her daddy. As tears rolled down my cheeks to hear her say that I kept listening. She repeated herself and said I miss my daddy, I cried when my daddy died, why is my daddy in heaven, I miss my daddy. I love my daddy. Over and over again for a few minutes then just like that she stopped and ask me if she could stay up a little late tonight and watch a little bit of a movie. I said yes with tears in my eyes. I was speechless.

As we drove home and she fell asleep, I could not erase those words from my head. It made me sad to think of how much she misses you and how you won't be able to see her grow up.

It made me think of what a wonderful Daddy you where to her. How much she loved you.
A Daddy who patiently waited for three years for this miracle
A Daddy who like most Daddy's wanted their first child to be a son so they could carry out their name and teach them everything about being a man.
A daddy who after three days of no sleep and countless hours of me yelling at you and kicking you out of the hospital room cause of the labor pains.....
A daddy that even exhausted and overwhelmed, smiled like I had never seen before a joy that overflowed thru your eyes.
A daddy who once you laid your eyes on this perfect beautiful little baby girl with the biggest green eyes and perfect in everyway... forgot about anything else and could not ask for a better gift.
A daddy who would get up just an hour later after getting home from working all night long to feed his little angel, so I could sleep.
A daddy who would rock bella for hours until she fell asleep and who most of the time would fall asleep with her in the rocking chair.
A daddy who no matter how tired you where always found time to spend time with her and give her all your attention if only for a few moments.
A daddy who had a ritual with bella in the mornings. You would make her pancakes that she loved and eggs.
A daddy who knew what time all her favorite cartoons came on and would sit and watch them with her.
A daddy who knew all the songs.
A daddy who would take her to her most favorite park and would always wait for the ice cream truck to buy her favorite ice cream.
A daddy who uncoditionally loved this perfect part of him. Who no matter what she did, she could never do wrong in your eyes.
A daddy who would say "I love you" and would hold her tight everyday and kiss her cheeks and she would just sit there and smile.
A daddy who now Bella talks about and remembers all the special times you shared together, all the little things you did.
A daddy who would be the only one to give her a grape popsicle after mommy had said no and would tell her not to say anything.
A daddy who would always come to the rescue when mommy would try to put her on time out.
A daddy who was strong and big, but when it came to his daughter was sweet and loving, a puddle in her hand. Daddy's little girl.
A daddy that can never be replaced,
A daddy who gave it all,
A daddy who loved completely,
A daddy who lived happy everyday of his life,
A daddy who smiled and laughed to see his little girl growing and looking more and more like him.
A daddy so proud of what he had accomplished with her
A daddy who taught her so much
A daddy that is now missed
A daddy who is loved so much
A daddy who will never be forgotten.....
A daddy in Bella's song....

May 23, 2005

Dearest Isaac,
I still miss you so much. And I still think of you everyday. Went to Fanny's the other night and it was so hard...I kept expecting to see you out on the dance floor. You still owe me a dance...I'll love you always.

"Your Little Carmen"

Friend

May 20, 2005

I still think of you so much Isaac. Your presence, your memories still run rampant in my thoughts and dreams.

My friend gave me the NRA magazine and much to my amazement you were on the front cover. I can't believe how much your life and death has infiltrated so many lives all over the U.S. It is amazing.

I just wanted to drop you a little note because it has been awhile since I did, but I never stop thinking of you....know that. Take care my little angel. I miss you and I love you very much. I'll continue to pray for you and your family, and the rest of the SFPD fam.

And one more thing. As you might know, I have been going through some trying times lately, and I am in need of as much prayer and guidance as possible. I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers as well. Thank you Isaac for listening because I know you always are.

May 20, 2005

Hi Sweetheart,

We are finally home from Washington D.C. and are still trying to recuperate but it was all worth it and would do it again in a heart beat. I want you to know that the memorial ceremony in Washington was so amazing. It was so much more than I ever expected. It was like a beautiful dance,everything fell into place. It was overwhelming to see your name and the name of the other officers who died in the line of duty on the wall and to meet all those other families who where going thru the same thing. I tried so hard to stay strong and not let myself cry but seeing all those sad faces just brought back memories of your funeral. The night of the bagpipe march was so amazing. We got a chance to walk with all of your SFPF brothers and sisters that where there for you. When the storm hit and we all got drenched it was the most beautiful thing that could of happened. It was so perfect because it felt like you had sent the rain to wash away all the sorrow and pain, to wash away the old and make room for a new beginning. Bella was marching with us and got completely wet and she even started to cry because she was scared, but when I told her that the rain where just happy tears of all the officers watching down on us then she stopped. It was an amazing day that we will never forget. That will be told over and over again.

I was so happy to see your friends and SFPD family there supporting us. It was a feeling of relief not being there alone. Isaac they really love you and miss you so much. They have been nothing but good to me and Bella they have shown how much they cared for you, how much you changed their lives.

Keep watching over all of them in the streets. Keep them safe from harm and help them do the job they love so much. I love you. We miss you.

May 19, 2005

Officer Espinoza,

We never met, but you have made a lasting impression on me. I met a friend of yours at the Wall in D.C. this weekend. His name I do not know, but his tears showed that he misses you dearly. When I asked about you and he told me you had to leave behind your high school sweetheart and your precious child, my heart broke once more. All I know is that I'm sure they are so blessed to have been loved by you. Don't worry, they are being taken care of, and you have some wonderful people who love you and miss you every day. Thank you for your sacrifice to protect others. Maybe you have met my fiance, Cole. Keep him out of trouble. To your wife and child, there are no words that I can say to ease the pain or help you through this time. I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I don't. But what an honor it is to have heard about this wonderful man this year at Police Week. Take care of yourselves.

Jessi Garger
Fiancee of Cole Martin EOW 4.25.03

May 16, 2005

Isaac my namem is donald colpaert and i am from detroit michigan i was at the memorial this weekend and i had a chance to meet some of your aunts i believe and i had a chance to get to hear about your bravery and service and i want you to know that it is men like yourself who have become an inspiration to myself and i try to follow your lead and make myself a better person. I am truly very sorry to hear about what happened guys like you deserve so much better. thank you for making the world a better place you may be gone for now but you will never be forgotten you are truly a hero not for the way you died but for the way you lived i wish i had the chance to meet you myself. rest in peace officer Espinoza

Donad Colpaert

May 16, 2005

For the past couple of nights when I go to sleep, I have been dreaming about you alot lately, hearing your voice.. seeing your beautiful smile.. everything seems so real... so perfect, it seems as if you never went away, like your here ALIVE with us again, and as I see you I am saying to myself is this real,could this be true, but as I run to give you a hug.. I wake up, and I immediatly try to fall back to sleep, but I can't. But just hearing your voice and seeing your face makes me want the day to hurry up so that I can go back to sleep and I can see you Alive again.....

May 13, 2005

ZAK-

We watched your video last nite, the one with you and DJ riding with a reporter. It blew me away, just to hear your voice again. I had to get closer, it was like you were here. I heard the sound of velcro on the tape, and I knew that you were putting on your gloves. I miss those sounds...Something so small, but it means so much. We love you. Everyone's in Washington about now, paying tribute to you and the Officers who now serve as Angels. Bless their families, bless you, bless yours.

s.f.p.d. - co. c.

May 12, 2005

Officer Damian Jackson,

You dont know how truly moved I am from your reflection. It brought me to tears that you are so moved by Isaac. He was always so popular and people always looked up to him for advise. He never took things personally nor did he let people down. He always looked at the positive side of life and I think that is what was so special about him. Im glad that Isaac was able to touch your life in the way that he has. God bless you and your family, keep safe out there on those streets!

Isaacs Cousin.

May 10, 2005

Brother, we will be going to Washington in 2 days in honor of you. I ask God to give me strength because like in Sacramneto, even though we were honoring your courage and bravery , the thought of you not being here anymore still brings me pain.
I ask God that he may bring strength to Renata , Bella , your parents , Regina and your entire family while we are there. I miss you and love you.
your brother,
Edgar

May 9, 2005

Zak

I wasn't able to attend the memorial, I know you understand the circumstances. Thank-you Off. Jackson, SDPD, for your beautiful comments- you brought the memorial to me!

I don't mean for this to be hurtful, but it has to get out for us/our safety/our families: a few nights ago, our Officers got another (yes, I said another) short stock AK-47 off of the streets. The suspects were KIDS between the ages of 12-17!!! The potential witness REFUSED to speak with police, so, we had to let them go (changes must be made in the penal code). Please, don't underestimate age. Be safe, God bless.

sfpd

May 9, 2005

Espinoza Family -
I came home today after attending the Peace Officer's Memorial ceremony yesterday in Sacramento and I am still so numb...
This was my first trip to the memorial in 8 years as a cop and I truly wasn't prepared for the impact it would have. I have been in loose contact with your family through this site and with our academy dedication and I was so looking forward to meeting you all face to face to extend to you my personal and deeply heartfelt condolences, but I just couldn't bring myself to intrude upon you as you were surrounded by one another and with your SFPD family. During the ceremony I stood outside the fenced area behind Renata and Bella and nearly lost it as I watched them walk to the monument and lay their flowers on Isaac's name. When the command for all SFPD personnel to salute was given, I too saluted. And for a brief moment in time I was a San Francisco Police Officer too. The only thing that kept me strong at that moment was Isaac's dove as it was released. Instead of taking flight he stood there on the edge of the memorial for a few moments and looked at all of his loved ones in attendence. It was Isaac...looking back at us all and feeling the outpouring of love and admiration and taking one last look before spreading his wings and returning to the heavens. Though surrounded by thousands, I felt so alone and helpless as I stood there under the tree behind the family and cried as Renata and Bella walked back. It was the teddy bear that Bella held in her arms and seeing you all in the flesh that brought all of the reality on top of me like a crushing blow to the heart. And I felt so ridiculous...ridiculous because YOU are the ones who have suffered so much and endured pain beyond comprehension. I'm just another cop from San Diego and here it was, absolutely tearing me apart. After the ceremony I mustered the strength to introduce myself to Renata and Bella on the steps of the capitol and it was so hard and I told you I felt so inappropriate to bother you while surrounded by your family but Renata, you looked right back at me and with utmost sincerity told me I was hardly a bother and thanked me. For you to thank me for anything is so incredibly moving...I owe you thanks that can never be measured. Lunch was provided for us all and I sat there with a full plate and had no appetite whatsoever as I sat and watched Bella playing and giving you hugs. I have 3 daughters; 3 yrs and 1 year-old twins, born a few days before Isaac's death. My wife and my girls are my world. It is so clear to see that Isaac felt the same way about his girls - Renata and Bella too. It destroys me each time I think of your loss. Seeing you smile while surrounded by your family brought me some glimmer of peace. Your grace and your composure are monumentally inspirational.
I watched you leave the capitol with Bella running ahead of you in the sunlight, laughing like all 4 year-old's should, and Isaac should have been behind her, making funny noises and playing every father's favorite game of, "I'm gonna get you" with his child.
When it came time for me to leave I mustered my strength once more and walked over to where your family was sitting and made a feable attempt at introducing myself while trying not to break down. I had the honor of meeting Isaac's parents and shaking their hands through tears as I tried to tell them how deeply affected and how deeply moved I have been by their son's life and tragic death and did a very inadequate job at conveying it verbally...
Near the end of meeting them I asked if they knew who I could contact to obtain some of Isaac's memorial pins and I stood there, motionless, as Isaac's father stood up, took his own pin off of his jacket and smiled at me and placed it in my hand and said, "Please, take this one." I have no words to express to you sir, how greatly honored and forever humbled I am by that gesture. To be given that pin by Isaac's father was a moment I think will never be matched again in my lifetime. Your graciousness and your strength has forever touched my life. You have all, forever touched my life. I apologize for breaking down in front of you and having to walk away. The flood of emotion was unlike anything I have ever experienced.

I will wear this pin each day I enter the streets...

I am a Christian and firm believer in God and I know that He called Isaac away so that his one lifetime could change the course and impact thousands of others. Your pain is beyond measure but find peace in the knowledge that Isaac has affected so many in so many ways. I only ask the Lord to grant me the strength to scratch the surface to be the man that Isaac was.
The screen on the computer in my patrol car says, "Isaac would..." as a take off on your "Isaac would go..." I use it every day to remind me of moments when I try pass up an opportunity for anything. It's a tribute I pay daily. We all should. When my daughter wants another book at bed time and I'm run down and want to say no, I tell myself, "Isaac would..." and she gets another book, and another, and another...HA. It makes me think of all the little things in the world that we let pass us by, especially with our loved ones. I know he would give anything to be here with us and do it, so I can never let him down.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers each day and my heart and best wishes go out to all of you. When I put my 3 year-old to bed we say prayers together and we alway finish with a special one and name everyone off; "Renata, Bella, Mr. and Mrs. Espinoza, Regina, Edgar, Auntie, Monica, all the cousins, and the SFPD."

God bless you all and to Renata and Mrs. Espinoza, I wish you a warm and peaceful mother's day...you more than anyone deserve it.

Officer Damian Jackson
Escondido Police Dept. - San Diego

May 8, 2005

Hi my name is JoAnn Dixon, I went to Westmoor highschool with Isaac. I am truly sorry for your loss. Isaac was always genuinely nice to everyone. I hope your family is doing o.k. I resently lost my mother in march. I feel your pain. I hope they both live happy in heavon untill we can be with them again. God bless your family.

May 6, 2005

Renata,

Your truely a strong and inspirational woman! I keep you and your loved one's in my prayers daily. Keep being strong in you heart, in your thoughts and in you life. God Bless you and have a happy mothers day.

love,
Julie

Julie :)

May 5, 2005