Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Isaac with everyone putting up their christmas decorations, sadness seems to take over us, so many little memories of you, all we see is you, why is it that always the good people have to leave us behind, but the Lord has a very especial and very much loved angel in heaven, but even at that we would much rather have you here with us and all the people that love and miss you.We miss you so very much.

Sonia

December 8, 2005

I wonder if God tests us in the most difficult and painful ways to see how much we love him no matter what
I wonder if he lets our hearts break beyond repair to see how well we will heal
I wonder if he reminds us of our happy memories to see if we forget
I wonder if he lets the loneliness seem eternal so we can learn to survive
I wonder if he lets fear take control at times to see if we can fight
I wonder if he lets weakness bring you to your knees to see how strong we are
I wonder if he lets us cry to show that we do care
I wonder if he lets us dream of things that are not there
I wonder if he feels the loss and pain or knows of the things we would give up to have him back
I wonder if he lets us smile thru all the darkness to see if there's still hope
I wonder if he just lets us live to see if we can LOVE!

December 7, 2005

I wish I could give you the biggest hug, and tell you that I love you. I miss you.

Cousin

December 7, 2005

I love you, my son. Christmas is coming and everything reminds me of you. I miss you. Mom

December 6, 2005

Isaac you are always in our hearts!!

Sonia

December 6, 2005

Dearest Espinoza Family,

This must be a very hard time of year for all of you without your precious Isaac by your side. I just wanted to write to you to let you know that you have so very many people, many are strangers to you, that have you in thought and prayer.

I'm one of Officer Jackson's friends, down near San Diego, who has taken a special interest in your family and Isaac's memory. Although none of us had the pleasure of meeting him, we feel that we know him in spirit. Damian has done an awesome job in sharing Isaac's memory with so many of us that we all wish we could have been honored to know him. You see, Damian is so very much like Isaac. He is strongly devoted to his family and God and he is a stellar officer and friend. That's why it has been so easy to become so attached to your family, it's as though he is one of our's.

So, please know, that there are so many, many people down south who are thinking of you at this difficult time and yet still wishing you warm holidays with your family.

Respectfully,
Julie Vincent
STAR Chapter 123

December 6, 2005

My dearest cousin,
So much has happened within the last two months. I finally made it! I'm apart of the 210!

Isaac, you are always in my thoughts and heart. I've had to dig deep down inside to cope with the demands and challenges of the Academy. Everytime adversity hits me right in the face, I think of you. You would NEVER quit!

I'll never forget your words of encouragement!

Love you!

Your Cousin, K.C.

December 4, 2005

You will never be forgotten.

-Dear Lord, We thank you for the food we are about to eat.
-We thank you for bringing us all together today for this special day of Thanksgiving.
-We thank you for all our memeories of
past Thanksgivings and look forward to new memories.
-We thank you for everyone at this table today and for those who have been with us in the past and for those who are no longer here because now Lord, they are at your Table.
-God Bless them, God Bless us.
-Now and always, AMEN.

November 27, 2005

Brother, we all sat at the table last night, pop said a few words but even though, we all felt sad by your absence. We all wished u couldve been there with us so we could really enjoy thanksgiving.Love u bro
Eggy!

November 25, 2005

Dearest Isaac,

Happy Thanksgiving, I am so very grateful that I had the honor of knowing you. I love you always.

"Your Little Carmen"

Friend

November 24, 2005

Hi Sweetheart,

Today is Thanksgiving Day and I cannot seem to pull myself together. I decided to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house this year for the first time. What was I thinking? I ask myself now. My family is here helping me with things here and there but I can't help but just feel empty without you. I know that if u where here, you would of been in the kitchen with me trying to tell me how to cook. or u would of made up a recipe for an "awesome" turkey at the top or ur head. Then I probably would of had to kick you out the kitchen. I can't help to imagine you playing with Bella right now trying to keep her busy while I cook and how happy she would of been with you just eating popsicles and watching t.v. in your pajamas.

Baby, I'm grateful for many things but yet it is so hard to sit down and eat and say thanks without you sitting there with us. I miss the way you used to make me laugh and how you would tell me how good my food was, even when I knew it wasn't. Ha ha.

Help me get thru this day without you. Help me explain to Bella that even though you are not here we are still grateful that we had all those years with you and that she will understand just a little bit. She misses you. Specially now.

I can't stop thinking how excited you where that we where going to have Thanksgiving Dinner at our house last year in our new addition so all the family could come and be together. I wish you could of had one more thanksgiving with us now it's too late. Now I have to do it alone, but I know you are here right now, cause I can feel you and I can hear you laugh. I miss you so much. I love u.

November 24, 2005

I have been so excited about Thanksgiving approching. I always loved the holidays. But this morning, I began to think of you. I know you were not with me at Thanksgving, but you were with US, and I miss you and so I started to cry. My holidays will never be the same knowing you are not here with us. However, I know you sit at a greater table this thanksgiving, the table with the Lord. Some day I hope to join you. Auntie

November 24, 2005

Iz, You are missed every day, but w/ the holidays here and approaching, not to mention the wedding where you should be there standing with us with that huge grin and knowing how proud you'd be, it only intensifies the pain we all feel. The only comfort we have is knowing you are up there w/ the best and Popo and U.Tony will be there to get you through these days too. I am sure it will be extremely difficult for us all. Love You!

Big Cousin

November 23, 2005

Dearest Isaac,

I'm sorry that it has been a while since I have last written, I just wanted you to know that you are still, and always will be, on my mind. I love you so much! Thank you for watching over me.


"Your Little Carmen"

Friend

November 17, 2005

Isaac, help me... I miss you so much, words cant even explain. The memory of your smile, laugh, body figure, personality, and just everything god how it runs through my head over and over again. I feel like sometimes i get stuck in my own world and all i think about is you.. i just miss you, we all miss you, your an angel, my angel...i miss you...

Monica

November 16, 2005

Isaac,

What an awesome motorcycle rally we had in your honor on Saturday (11/12). Thank you for showing up!!!... As Damian flew over in the Sheriff's Dept. helicopter, so did you in the form of a red tailed hawk. You flew around just as long as Damian did and you left at the same time. We know it was you! It was so awesome to see complete strangers come together for you and what you meant to so many and for Bella's benefit.

Before the ride began, I went inside North County Yamaha to check on my son who was inside watching your memorial video that was playing on the televisions throughout the store. This wasn't the first time I saw it, but it was for my son... he saw you when you were on the job, full of life. At that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to cry and I went outside. I ran into Damian and told him, "I don't know how I am going to do it!"...how am I going to make it through graduaion without shedding a tear...without my voice trembling?I need strength during the graduation ceremonies! I am so afraid I won't be able to "keep it together." I know as I stand up on that stage, looking down at your family is going to be so hard for me. I don't want this to be anything difficult for them to bear. The respect and admiration I have for your mother,father and Renata is more than you could imagine. I am thankful for their graciousness in letting us dedicate the academy to you and for coming to the graduation.

It is going to be so hard to let go of you and your family and the efforts we have been putting forth for Bella. If I had my way, I would dedicate every academy to you because of the person you were. I know you would want us to move onto another fallen officer and the child he/she left behind, that's just how you are.
Thank you for being such an inspiration to the cadets of Palomar College Police Academy Class 12. You will forever be in our hearts.

I'll see you on graduation night!

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

November 16, 2005

Isaac, I got engaged today! I wish you were here, so I could call you up and tell you I'm marrying one of your brothers :) I know you would have laughed... I also know you would have been so happy for us. You would have loved Dave, and I know he would have loved you too.
Forever on my mind, Adele

Cousin

November 15, 2005

Thinking much of you as the holidays get closer. God works in mysterious ways, but we cannot loose our faith. Always in our hearts and prayers.

Sonia

November 15, 2005

Dearest Espinoza Family & Friends,

I am a member of Damian Jackson's STAR Chapter 123 motorcycle group. I just had to write to you and let you know that Damian and his Palomar Police Academy Cadets put on an awesome benefit ride in Isaac's memory on Saturday. It was an absolutely beautiful day after such a gloomy week. I too saw the hawk that Candie saw and many of us commented how strange it was that it just continued to circle above the parking lot at North County Yamaha while the helicopter was hovering above...so symbolic and heart-warming. When the helicopter left, so did the hawk, as though he stopped by to bless the riders before they left.

I just wanted you to know how much you are all in Damian's and his cadets hearts. Isaac has touched so many of us thru them and Saturday was a true expression of how a fallen officer can rally so many strangers together.

You are in my thoughts and prayers and so many others as well. You are a blessed family to have so many people care and look over you. Isaac was a very special human being who will never be forgotten.

God Bless You Isaac...#64...Isaac Would

Julie Vincent
San Marcos
STAR Chapter 124

November 15, 2005

TO THE BELOVED FAMILY, MY NAME IS CANDI BAIER AND I WORK THE FINANCE OFFICE AT NORTH COUNTY YAMAHA WHERE THE MEMORIAL RIDE TOOK PLACE FOR YOUR HUBBY. AS I WAS OUTSIDE WHATCHING THE HELLICOPTER FLY OVER TO TAKE AN ARRIEL PICTURE OF THE EVENT I LOOKED UP AND NOTICED A BEAUTIFUL RED TALE HAWK FLYING OVER THE STORE FOR MANY MANY MINUTES, WHEN I SAW THAT I KNEW IN MY HEART THAT IT WAS ISAACS SPIRIT OR PRESENCE OR WHAT EVER SOMEONE MAY CALL IT LETTING US KNOW THAT IN BODY HE MAY BE GONE BUT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US. I HAVE NO RELATION TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY BUT WHEN I SAW THE HAWK I FELT VERY MOVED TO TELL HOW I FELT AND MY HEART, PRAYERS, AND LOVE GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE HAD TO ENDURE. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD EVERY TIME I SEE A HAWK I WILL ALWAYS THINK OF HIM AND YOUR FAMILY. IN SOME SORT OF A WAY I HOPE YOU MAY BE ABLE TO FIND PEACE WITH THIS AS HARD AS THAT IS, BUT WHEN I SAW THAT HAWK FLYING OVER ALL OF US I HAD PEACE IN MY HEART FOR YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. ALL OF MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TO ALL OF YOU. WITH MUCH LOVE CANDI BAIER NORTH COUNTY YAMAHA.

CANDICE BAIER
NCY ISAAC ESPINOZA MEMORIAL RIDE

November 12, 2005

When I lost my father, I found my husband.

When I lost you, Isaac, I found God.

Thank you for that. I know someday I will see you in heaven. I love you so much and I miss you. I think of you everyday. I cry for you all the time. As the holidays get closer so does the pain of losing you. Our holidays will never be the same without you there. You will be missed.

November 12, 2005

Aunt Carol, He loved you for everything you did for him. You are a wonderful Mother. You devoted your life to your children and for that I look up to you. Isaac wouldnt have been Isaac had it not been for you. I love you!

November 9, 2005

Hey Brotha,

It's been a while since I spoke to you. A lot has changed since we last spoke. I often log on to see the reflections left for you. It's crazy how they sometimes say you never miss a good thing til it's gone. I don't feel that your gone inside infact I think of you all the time as if you we talked to each other every day. I am now living in southern Cali but I'm not sure it's permanent. You see, remember when we were at the gym working out and I told you I had a son in San Diego. I was missing him so much and I just had to be close to him again. I'm still in the process with SFPD and That is where I want to be but my son and his mother have no intentions on going back to the bay area, so I have applied to the Oceanside PD and I am awaiting my results of my Oral board. You really have been part of my motivation to make it happen. I remember the knowledge you were dropping on me the day I was asking for advice. Lately I have been running to get back in shape before I hopefully get picked up by an agency and when I get exhausted I think about you and that you would never give up and that keeps me going.....Thank you.

Anyway bro, I just wanted to say What's up and I will talk to soon. Thank you for looking out for me above.

God Bless you Renata and Bella

Your friend Patrick from Westmoor High

Patrick
future sfpd

November 9, 2005

Renata,

4 Years ago was my 1st Bayview X-Mas party, and through glassy tequila eyes, I clearly remember approaching you and Zak at the dinner table! I asked Zak if you were a model, because you are absolutely beautiful! He was speechless, and just looked over at you and smiled...I know that he is still looking at you this way, lovingly and proud! God bless you and yours.

bayview officer-mids
sfpd

November 8, 2005

I think of you everyday Isaac, and because of you, I met my best friend. I know you had a hand in this. When you passed away, I prayed to God that if I ever met a man I would want he to be a lot like you. And just when I wasn't looking, there he was. Someone a lot like you. He has big heart, loyal, funny, good morals, gets along with everyone, and he also happens to be a cop. Now you know I wasn't looking for that, especially knowing how hard it was to lose you. Its scary Isaac. I have bad dreams sometimes. I know now that tomorrow is not promised,and thinking of it, tears me up inside......It also tore me up inside at these last two weddings when there was the father daughter dance. I can't help but to think who will be there to dance with Bella. How it's so unfair that she won't have her "pappi" to dance with on her wedding day. It just pains me. It really pains me....

Oh. Please watch over your sister. I know she misses you like crazyyyyyyy. It's been so hard for her. I love you Isaac.

Cousin

November 8, 2005