Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

When I lost my partner in 1994,(Jim Guelff EOW 11/13/94) my son was only four years old. I thought he was too young to understand what was going on. Then one day, as I was heading out the door for work. He stops me and hands me a picture he had drawn. It was a kind of stick figure holding a gun in one hand and a nightstick in the other. I thanked him and asked what the picture was about. He looked up at me with all of the wisdom his fours had given him and said “ Dad, everyone needs a partner...”

A heart-felt thanks goes to the Espinoza family. What a beautiful gesture. It is very comforting to know that our guys are together.


ALWAYS IN OUR THOUGHTS
FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS…

From the Members of Bayview Station

Sgt. Sherman W. Lee
Bayview Station-Third Watch

August 9, 2006

We celebrated Isabella's Sixth birthday today. She had a good turnout, lots of little cousins and friends. She had a pinata and a big jumper. She received lots of beautiful presents. She was happy. We missed you. The color you selected for your 49er room is so beautiful. Your house is so beautiful. It is so amazing how you designed your addition to your house. You sent the drawings back to the architect so many times because he didn't get it right the way you wanted it. I can't get over how you only lived in your house for two years when you decided to put in your addition. It saddens me that you are not here to enjoy the addition you so looked forward to living in. The police and everyone who pitched in to complete your house did such a beautiful job. Your yard, deck and Isabella's swing and slide area are so perfect. You would be so happy. We miss how you made all of us happy. I love you, Mom.

August 6, 2006

Hi! Nick was my cousin and I just wanted to say "thank you" to you, Officer Espinoza, and to your wonderful family for their warm and caring thoughts of having my cousin rest next to you. I did not get a chance to meet your family and personally thank them. It's a good feeling that even at times like this that even though you are no longer with us, your loved ones who are left behind still look out for your brother's family and no matter how much it hurts, they remain strong and supportive. It's a comforting feeling for my auntie, my uncle and their kids and grand kids. Again, thank you.

LA - San Francisco

August 4, 2006

Thank-you for having Birco next to Zak, we are so comforted by this, they are not alone. I simply can't believe this, the same department/station/night watch, and two wonderful men. Just 2 years ago, I stood in the same places and said goodbye to Zak...its not fair. I'm selfish, I want them back and I want their families happy again.

Your family is so wonderful to have participated in all of the services, as it must hurt them and remind them of losing you. It was good to see you Carol, Aunties, Regina, Renata, and Big Cuz. Thank-you!

Bella, wishing you a blessed 6th bday to a beautiful little girl!

patty b. bayview mids
sfpd

August 3, 2006

He was his mother's precious baby, he was his fathers loving son
He was his sister's favorite brother, he was a friend to everyone.
He had a life that had a meaning, he had a future with his wife,
He had children whom he lived for, he had a job that took his life

Not a badge or a uniform, not a flashing blue light,
Not a faceless nameless officer,not a siren in the night,
He was...

He never called himself a hero, just an ordinary man
But there were things that he believed in, and a need to take a stand
So he lived each day with courage and he prayed each night for strength
And his life must now be measured by its depth, not by its length

Not a badge or a uniform, not a flashing blue light,
Not a faceless nameless officer,not a siren in the night,
He was...

He was his mother's precious baby, he was his fathers loving son
He was his sister's favorite brother, he was a friend to everyone.
(song)

When I read these lyrics, I thought of your mother and the pain she feels everyday. Now that I'm a mother, I could never imagine the pain of losing my child. You were her baby. She held you in her arms when you cried. She stayed up with you all night when you were sick. You soothed by her voice. I know she loved you like no other. You were her baby boy.
People always told me that you will never know... or even imagine the pain of losing a child unless you are a mother yourself. I hope that I will never know or even understand the pain, but I can only imagine the heartache you feel everyday. I love you aunt carol. Just thinking of you today as I hold my angel in my arms. God Bless you always. You were and still are a great mother.
May god bring you peace.
I love you , Adele

August 1, 2006

This past weekend was the 3rd Annual Isaac Espinoza Softball Tournament. Isabella pitched the first ball at the Championship Game. It was a fast and perfect pitch. We were so proud of her. Everyone was smiling and clapped for her. She was so happy to be at the game with our family and friends. She didn't want to leave when it was over. I remember your last week here on earth. You had two softball games and Isabella went to both of them with you. I went to one. Isabella loves softball. She remembers you playing softball with her. We miss you, Mom

July 31, 2006

Hi baby,

Just wanted to come by and tell you how much I miss you! There isnt a day where I dont think about you. Its a little harder right now because a couple of days ago, another of your Bayview brothers was killed in the line of duty. This sucks cause it makes me think of how much his family is suffering right now.

It reminds me of your death and all the sadness and pain that sorrounded me when u were taken away. It's really hard cause I understand what they are going thru, I wish I could take their pain away.

I will be attending Nick's funeral and it makes me a little scared cause I know that it will bring back so many memories. He will be buried next to you, your brother in blue. Please give me strength to make it thru the funeral and please watch over him and his family.

Bella will be six years old that day and that gives me strenth to know that I will come home and see her beautiful smile and know that we willm be okay. We will be going to her most favorite restaurant that night.
She will be happy and we will talk about the first time we took her there. Wish you where here!

I love you always.

R

July 31, 2006

"If you live in the past, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to selfpity, suffering, and tears.
You were born with the right to be happy. You were born with the right to love, to enjoy and to share your love. You are alive, so take your life and enjoy it."
A Book on Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Isaac, I read this passage in a book I got from Jamba Juice. I can't tell you how true I found this book to be. There have been instances in the past were I look back and I wonder why? Why all this craziness? This book really made sense and even gave me inner peace. I love you.

July 29, 2006

Zak,

I haven't been able to say anything to you this last month. Days come and go where we just can't find the right words and just miss you so bad, it was one holiday after the next and then your birthday. I'm upset you couldn't be here for your family, how selfish for someone to take you. We miss you Zak and are thought of often by all of us, we just want you back...I'm sorry.

patty b.
sfpd bayview mids

July 29, 2006

Gone from the family for 6 weeks. I read all the Reflections and see that I have missed so much. I want to wish you a Happy Fathers Day and a Happy Birthday. I want to tell you that although I was away I thought of you. I thought about how much I will miss you. I always think about you. My handsome Godson, only God knows how much I miss you.

Yesterday I went to watch your little cousin Joe swim. He reminded me of you, splaching around in the water. How you loved to be in the water, such memeoires from R-Ranch. I will never forget when you smashed the watermellon, funny!

Well got to go, I am watching your two cousins and they are up, so this Grandma has to go on duty!
Auntie

July 29, 2006

Thank you for your sacrifice. I know that you welcomed Peter into heaven with open arms. I can't articulate how truly grateful I am to you for your sacrifice. Though I'm not in California, you died protecting me. All of the officers on this site died protecting our nation's communities. I'll never let anyone forget what you did. God bless your wife and daughter. I pray God sends extra hugs their way as they continue this journey without you. Say hi to Pete for me

LEO Fiancee and friend of Peter Grignon EOW 3/23/05

July 26, 2006

We all think about you everyday.

July 24, 2006

When I read the R-Ranch reflection, I can see you now it's so funny how those were such wonderful times in our lives up there all 8 or more of us at one time w/ either Henry or Mike G., and your mom making us wait outside the cabin was fit for her babies to sleep in, she always made us wait till she swept every inch of it and spayed it w/ bug spray from top to bottom, oh and we can't forget her plugging up and hole that spiders could crawl through, it was so hot and all we wanted to do was to dump our stuff and run to the pool. I can see you now, while we were wating, you and a the rest who were raring to go would play in the creek below the cabin, it so funny how images or a word can bring us back in time to a special memory or song. I can see you, you were maybe 8 or 10 now, a little kid w/ glasses and shorts and those skiinny little legs. R-Ranch was a lot of fun for us, it was a place where we were safe and could run all over w/out our moms worring too much. We can't forget your dad's bbq and your moms sandwiches on white bread. We loved when popo would bring his sandwiches up there and oh were they good. He would sautee onions, eggs, peppers and anything else in the fridge and put it in a bologna sandwich and we were in heaven. It's those little things that gave us family the memories we'll cherish forever, and the traditions inwhich we spent so much time together like brothers and sisters, you were the brother we never had Iz, I miss you and I love you, I wish we had more R-Ranch Days together with all the little ones from our generation, they'd love it and I know they would of remembered you cuz you would of done something silly like falling in the pool or something to fake them out that they'd never forget, Im sure.
Love you,

Big Cousin

July 22, 2006

I was just reading all your reflections. I think of you often. Isaac Espinoza..never forget that name. I remember meeting you as a kid and watching you play at the "R" Ranch. You stood out then and you still stand out now. Glad we met again in our adult life. I'll see you in Heaven. God Bless your parents, sister, wife and daughter.

July 20, 2006

Isaac,

I thought of you Sunday as the day came and went...I wanted to leave a reflection that day, but was led to a friend who was in distress because her husband had just left for Iraq for another 7 months. My children and I went over to comfort them (my friend and her children).
I'm sure it can't be easy being apart from loved ones, never knowing if they are coming home or not and missing them terribly. I thought of your entire family (immediate and extended)because they have to deal with the fact that you aren't coming back. I find comfort in knowing that they will have eternal happiness with you, but until then I know you are truly missed. I think of your mother, father, Renata, Regina and Isabella everyday. They are all so strong, carrying on as you would probably have wanted them to. They are very much keeping your memory alive. I want you to know how grateful I am to your mother and father for opening their hearts to me and I will never forget the day your mom took me to your grave. I still get emotional just thinking about it. I want to meet you when I get to heaven so I can know the Isaac that your mother, father, Regina and Renata have told me so much about. God bless you and keep you and yours. Happy belated birthday.

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

July 18, 2006

Officer Espinoza,

You are missed by family, friends and co-workers. Thank you for your years of service and dedication. May you rest in peace, Sir! You will never be forgotten.

Police Officer

July 17, 2006

Happy 32nd Birthday Isaac.....i miss you and think about you all the time. we didn't see each other for a long time before that terrible night but you were in my life for a long time and i miss you. much love to renata, regina, Isabella, your Mom and your Dad..... Happy Birthday

July 16, 2006

DEAR ISSAC, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN TODAY AS YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN 32 TODAY. THENCANLDES ON YOUR CAKE WILL SHINE FOREVER. WENT TO YOUR SITE THURSDAY AND STILL SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY YOU LEFT US. YOU ARE VERY MUCH MISSED IN OUR LIVES AS WELL AS ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. HOPE YOU ATRE TAKING CARE OF GIL FOR US. STILL DOENST SINK IN YOU ARE GONE.SPOKE TO YOUR MOM TODAY AND SHE IS SO BRAVE AND MISSES YOU TERRIBLY.I KNOW MIKE IS TAKING CARE OF YOUR FAMILY . NEVER FORGOTTEN AND ALL THE MEMORIES ARE FOREVER.LOVE MARIAN

July 16, 2006

For those who don't usually look at the Sunday Chronicle travel section, today there is a beautiful picture of St. Isaac's Cathedral in St. Petersburg, Russia. I consider it a message of greetings and love from our Isaac.

D.

David Gilliam

July 16, 2006

Today is your birthday, Son. I love you and I miss you. The day of your birth was a happy day for your father and I. You brought such joy to our lives. We will always love you and can't wait to be with you in Heaven. Just think one hundred years from now all of our loved ones and friends will have a new joyous life together with you in Heaven for all eternity. For now we will fight the good fight until we meet again. Mom

July 16, 2006

Just wanted to wish you an early Happy Birthday. Always thinking of you.

July 15, 2006

Isaac, Sunday you would have celebrated your birthday, we will not be here, but just to let you know that we will always keep you in our hearts. It is funny how we all have to go on with our lives, but with a little piece missing in our hearts, for some that missing piece is a whole lot bigger than to others, funny how we talk about you and feels like only yesterday we were making fun of your white legs, gosh you are missed so very much. Happy Birthday. Always in our hearts and prayers.

Sonia

July 13, 2006

I wanted to stop in an leave a reflection to let you know that you have not been forgotten, nor will you ever be by those that love you nor will the Blue Family ever forget. I know the pain your loved ones feel and the many broken hearts that have been left behind. You are a true hero and Heroes Never Die. Keep watch over your loved ones, wrap your wings around them and help them with their grief.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

July 9, 2006

Isaac, 4TH of July was quiet on our block this year. Things will never be the say on our block without you, but you will always be in our hearts, and will always be remembered, and when Bella is a little older to understand, we will tell her all the pranks you use to pull on us.We all miss you very much. Love Sonia

July 5, 2006

Today is the Fourth of July. One of the holidays that you loved. Who would have thought that you would pay the ultimate sacrifice, the price of freedom. You, a soldier of Christ, in the inner city fighting the war against terrorism and evil. You are a hero and you are loved.

July 4, 2006