Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey Baby,
Just thought I would let you know that there is a small light at the end of the tunnel! I got a phone call last night, and things are looking up. I know it seems like I am "praying" to you instead of God. It isn't like that at all....I just know I have a direction to God now that you are there with him. I know without a doubt you are watching over me every second and I know that you are talking to God for me. It's hard for me to talk to him myself. I feel like I don't know what to say and sometimes I don't feel worthy of asking for anything. But I know that you are there doing the talking for me. You must be!!! Well, honey...I have to go for now. I just wanted to say thank you for listening and thank you for having God work so quickly. I'll let you know what happens.

I Love You!
Tra

See you in a minute 1-4-3

Tracie Hewitt
Jeff's Wife

January 31, 2005

Hey Baby!
It's Saturday, January 29. I awoke this morning to find the ground covered in a blanket of white. I couldn't help but think of the times you had to take me to work because you didn't want me to drive in the snow. Even if it was just a "dusting" you would insist on driving me.

This has been a bad week for me. I've spoken so many times of the peace and comfort you brought to my life. At a time that seemed my darkest. A time when my very heart had been ripped out of me. But you came along and helped me get my "heart" back. You changed a situation that I thought could never be changed. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now the darkness is creeping back in....everything you worked so hard to repair is falling apart again. Ever since the day you left, I had some little piece of comfort in knowing that you came into my life for a reason. That reason was to return my "heart" to me. Now, the darkness is seeping back in. I feel things going back to that darkness before you came. I am so angry, because it is like your death was in vain. If things go back the way they were, your death would seem in vain to me. Jeff, I have tried so hard to handle things the way you would have. I want this situation to work out more than anything. But I also know that you would want me to stand up for myself. I know how much it meant to you...for me to not let people run over me or take advantage of me. When you were here you protected me from that darkness. But now that you're not here...I don't know what to do. I only wish this person could hear you speak to them again. I beg God to let them hear those words again. Jeff, I still need you. I need you to guide my heart to do the right thing. I need you to help me be strong.

Sweetheart, I love you so much! I miss you more than words can even begin to say. I'll see you in my dreams.

I Love You!
Tra

See you in a minute 1-4-3

Tracie Hewitt
Jeff's Wife

January 29, 2005

To Jeff, may your soul rest easy and watch over your wife and family.

To Tracie,
We don't know each other, but both have lost one we loved in the line of duty. I came across Jeff's memorial one day when looking for another. I check Jeff's memorial once a week to read the relections you leave for him. I think because he passed in a similar fashion as Jake... I read what you have written, and Tracie, I pray that God is with you in this time. People say it gets easier, and so far, I don't see how it does. We still miss our loved ones just the same. Tracie, you are so much stronger than you realize. Always know that Jeff has his arms wrapped around you. The human spirit takes over when you don't think you can go on. Tracie, it is much stronger than you know. Jeff will find a way to answer you back when you talk to him. Just look for the signs. Even though we are strangers, we are still united by those we know, in the Thin Blue Line. My thoughts are always with you and your family.
Melissa

melissa smock, citizen
friend of jake laird EOW 8/18/04

January 24, 2005

Hey Sweetheart,
I've had you on my mind so much today. No matter how much time passes, I still ask myself Why??? I just can't seem to let it sink in that you are never coming home to me. I know people must think that it has been almost a year and I should be "doing fine" by now. The truth is, I dont' feel anymore "fine" than I did that night.

I feel like I'm crazy sometimes. Last night it was so cold and the wind was blowing so hard. I caught myself sitting here thinking you were at work. I thought, "I wonder if Jeff is warm enough". Sometimes I think you should be calling me any minute. I layed there in bed and wished like crazy I would hear the door open, hear you say your hello's to Teddy and then come crawl into bed with me with those cold feet of yours. I would give anything for those moments like that.

The other day Tony called me from work. You now how he has that radio so he can talk to the truck drivers. Well, I said hello and I could hear the radio in the background. He had paused for just a couple of seconds. I had to stop and catch my breath. It sounded just like it did when you would call me when you were in your patrol car. I kept waiting to hear you say, "Hey Beautiful". But it wasn't you, and I was forced back to the awful reality that I will never hear those words again.

Jeff I just can't stand it! I can't do this by myself! I need you so much! How will anything ever feel "normal" again. I look around me and it is like I'm frozen in time, yet everyone around me is still going on. It's like some crazy movie! You know, when one person is just frozen and the rest of the world is still flying by around them.

We are quickly approaching 10 months since you've been gone. Yet I still feel as empty as that night when Mark told me you were gone.

I was talking to someone about you yesterday. I was telling them all of the wonderful things you did and about the peace you brought to me life. They made the comment, "I bet it was awful being married to a Cop". But you know what, even though I worried about you when you were working and althought you worked so many hours of secondary employment that took you away from me so many nights. I wouldn't trade one minute of it for the world. I am sincerely honored to have been an officer's wife. I don't understand why God took you. I'm still angry that he did. But I am also greatful for every second I had with you. It may sound awful and I don't mean this the way it may sound, but I would do it all over again. Even if I knew that I would only be your wife for three short years, I would do it again. I would because my life was so blessed by you being in it..even if it was for a short time. The memories I have are worth every bit of the heart ache I feel now. My heart aches because of the love that I've lost, but is joyful for the love that I knew.

Baby, I love and miss you so much! May God give me strenght to face another day without you! Please know that I am thinking of you always.

I LOVE YOU
Tra

See you in a minute 1-4-3

Tracie Hewitt
Jeff's wife

January 23, 2005

It seems like only yesterday that I last saw U.S. Marine Corporal Jeff Hewitt standing the watch aboard MCAS, Cherry Point, NC. It was 1993, wasn't it Jeff? I remember you as a young, but very mature Marine, a professional Military Policeman whom I respected and trusted. I learned of the news today. I am deeply saddened. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You will always be remembered.

Semper Fidelis brother.

Warrant Officer Robert O' Dwyer (USMC)
Special Agent, Naval Criminal Investigative Service, Camp Lejeune, NC

January 21, 2005

Dear Tracie, You will never know how strong you are. Watching you continue on as Jeff would have wanted you to is beyond words. You are a blessing to other law enforcement wives such as myself. I can only tell you that you are as strong as Jeff and you should never forget that. He is so proud of you, I bet he's saying "look at that girl, That's my wife. Isn't she great?" You can only be as strong as your love that you and Jeff share, and that is strong. I wish I could give you your dream of holding Jeff again even for a minute, but you know his arms have never left you. You have his heart,his hands, his love, his mind, his thoughts, just as he has yours. Please know that we (the family of law enforcement wives) are here for you and will never let your pain and loss go away from our hearts no matter how long it is until we all see Jeff again.
May God reach down and hold your hand as He's holding Jeff's and let you feel the soft touch of His love as well as Jeff's. Tracie, continue being the person you are now and keep the faith.

Sincerely,
S. Martin (A law enforcement wife)

January 17, 2005

Jeff,

I know we have never met in person but it's as if I know you. Carolyn sent us a picture of you and Tracie on your wedding day, what a beautiful couple. I look back at my son's wedding day pictures and think what a happy day as I'm sure everyone in your family does. None of us know why you and my son Mike were taken from us when you had so much to do and accomplish here, someday I hope we will find that answer. Each day it a challenge for the parents, wives, relatives and friends left behind, at times the broken heart pain can be unbearable but we go one. I wanted to stop in just to say that I was thinking of you and that you have not been forgotten and you never will. Those of us left behind have a mission and that is to keep your names alive and not let others forget the sacrafice you and Mike paid because you were doing something you loved as we all know Law Enforcement is not a career that one will ever get rich performing, it's something that comes from the heart and you both had what it took to be fine officers. Take care, say hi to Mike for me while you are both on patrol. God keep you close to him and help us down here ease our broken hearts.

Bob Gordon, Father of Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon, Asst. Chief, (Retired)
Riverside PD, IL

January 16, 2005

Jeff,
I dreamed of you again. It's been a while. The difference this time is that you were still here-alive and with Tracie. I can recount every part of the dream and all afternoon I've been trying to rationalize it. Usually there's a logical explanation for dreams of you- either I thought of you before sleep or talked about you the during the day. I guess there's just a lot going on in my life right now and I'm regreting some things I've done. Last night at work I confided in a co-worker and there for a minute he reminded me of you and our conversation reminded me of the ones we use to have. I know it sounds awful but it's the hard times that I miss you the most and they are becoming so frequent. You are missed and loved so very much.
Keep watch over us we need you more than ever before.

January 13, 2005

Thank you Sgt. Hewitt for paying the ultimate price by protecting the community you loved so much. To the family of Jeff, I am so very sorry for your loss. I just now learned of Jeff's passing via this website. In August, an officer with whom I was very close to passed in the line of duty as well. Although I was not married to him, I feel the pain also. I will never forget what he sacrificed for all. More importantly, we find that our souls find a way to let us carry on. My prayers are with you Tracie, and the rest of Jeff's family.

citizen
Friend of Jake Laird EOW 8/18/04

January 11, 2005

Jeff
It's been a long hard year, and the only ones to prosper it seems have been heaven and you. Heaven has received one of the finest law officers that any department has ever produced any where. And I can only count it a privilege to have known you in the way that I did. It has been such a tremendous loss to so many when you made the ultimate sacrifice for the citizens in which you shared your every day life with, in turn making it that much harder to understand, why only the good die young. Jeff, I have so much to say and so much to thank you for as I have attempted to do in past reflections but it just doesn't seem to be enough. You came into Tracie's life when she needed someone like you the most, and you made her shine again, and only you could have done that. You gave her hope,strength, and courage my goodness how it shows today. You gave Taylor a role model of what a man should be, and me, well, you were all that you needed to be and that was a friend!! You done in our lives that thing we could not do, and that was you mended broken relationships, replaced frowns with smiles, and tears of hurt, with words of forgiveness. You were truly a God send. I'm honored to say that I was a friend of Jeff Hewitt. I will leave for now, only to see you on the other side, and not that I will ever forget those things you done, but only to allow you to rest in the peace you worked so hard for. Jeff, Thank you. I will say one last time for all who visit this officer's reflections, Heaven has now in it's possession, the finest we here on earth have to offer! Sgt. Jeffery Todd Hewitt.. God speed my brother till we meet again.

Tony Youngblood

TY

January 6, 2005

My Dear Brother,
I can't sleep for you are very heavy on my mind. I think of you each and every moment of my waking hours and often in my sleep. Getting past losing you is most definitely something I will never do. Mom found a page from your baby book when you were three months old. It was good to share a sacred memory with a laugh, which you always brought to us. It told of your progress and your love of food. Ha. That never changed. What a precious child you were. That carried over into your life as a boy and a man. You are now in a new life where you are forever young. I cherish that thought as it helps to ease the pain of not having you here with us. If only it were enough to make it all go away. I can't help but be repetitive in my reflections to you as I never will stop saying that I love and miss you deep in my heart. Perhaps time will heal the hurt, that's what they say, but honestly at this point I don't see how. The sign by the church behind my home reads "Happy New Year, you have never passed this way before".
How true and I never want to pass this way again. There is a void this year that will never be filled, there is a birthday you won't be here to share with us, but we will be there to honor and treasure you at your resting place. This will be just one more very difficult special day to get through. I will miss singing Happy Birthday to you this year in person, so I hope it won't offend you and your new family in heaven as I will just have to sing it a little louder this year. I'll miss you taking me to dinner for my birthday which was always my #1 highlight, simply because you were always so busy but still took time to do that. Brother rest in peace, live your new life to the fullest and enjoy all the rewards you now embrace. You deserve them. I love you, sis.

susan hewitt
sister

January 6, 2005

Jeff and Tracie,

I feel awful that I just learned of Jeff's passing from the Buncombe County Sheriff's Office website. My brother (Gysgt. John A. Dunne) served with Jeff in the Marine Corps. When I relocated to Asheville in 1994, my brother told me to contact Jeff as I was intending on pursuing a law enforcement career. I went to work for the BCSO in October 1996 as a detention officer and later went on reserves around March 1997. While other officers gave me the typical rookie treatment, Jeff always took the time to take me under his wing and give me instruction and encouragement. I sensed that he didn't treat me this way because he knew my brother; it was too natural for that to be true. I sensed he was this way with everyone. I will never forget Jeff for this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Thomas A. Dunne
Florida Department of Juvenile Justice

January 5, 2005

My dearest Son,
On the 28th of Dec. I was involved in a violent crash that could have easily taken not only my life but the life of the other driver. During those brief moments I felt your presence, your protection and your love surrounding me. My memory of the crash is almost non existant and my injuries are hopefully , not serious. By the grace of God the other driver was unhurt.During the entire ordeal I felt as though I was floating, feeling nothing. Just the same as I've experienced in recent dreams of being involved in just this type of wreck. Each and every time, just before impact, my car lifted and floated in a circle. It was as though I knew I would be in a bad wreck but you would be with me to protect me. I have never felt your presence more than I did that day. Christmas day dad and I went to the cemetary and spent some quiet time with you. We placed a vine deer at your headstone, just beside the beautiful family wreath with all of the family pictures. You are with us honey, in everything we do and every prayer we offer. We love you and miss you so very much.
Love,
Mom

December 31, 2004

Jeff and Tracie:

I want you both to know this community still prays for you. We all miss you and will never forget the price you paid to protect us. Tracie, I hope you enjoy the Hospice Ornament and that it will bring you peace. I feel like Jeff was a great man here on earth and a God sent Angel! It was my way of remembering him during this time. May your new year be joyous.

Lauren

December 31, 2004

My dear Jeff,
I didn't get to write you Christmas day because Santa (Tammy) got me a new one and I hadn't gotten it back yet. However I know you were there. Dad brought your high school football picture, I brought your Marine one and Your police picture was already there at mamaw's. It was so hard not to have you there in person. So many memories flooded our thoughts. We continue to miss you each and every moment. Mom had a very bad car accident today. We know you were with her. She is at home and very shaken. The officer asked her if anyone else was in the car, as the passenger windsheild was broken. She started to say "yes my son". We know you were with her protecting her, as she could have lost her life. Thank-you for being there. I love you , sis.

susan hewitt
sister

December 28, 2004

Merry Christmas, Baby! It's Christmas Eve. I can't believe it has gotten here so quickly! I was at the mall today picking up a few last minute gifts. I couldn't help but notice all of the "couples". Christmas sure is lonely without you. It just isn't the same. I keep seeing things that I would like to get for you. It breaks my heart to think you never got that Harley that you wanted. Lord knows I would sell everything I have to get it for you if I could have you back. I visited your grave today. I never dreamed I would spend Christmas Eve doing that. It's such a nightmare! It's all I can do to hold it together. We had Christmas at Dad's the other night and went to Mom's last night. Dad sure misses his fishing buddy. Mom said a few words before dinner...noting that there is a void this year. I wanted to break down so bad. I just wanted to fall in the floor and sob. But I faught it back and stood strong. You know I hate for people to see me cry. I can't stand feeling week. Being an officer's wife, I feel a duty to display the strength that is expected from the "men in blue". The strength that you always were for me. I can't help but wonder what Christmas will be like for the Cassada family. I have so many mixed emotions about them. I know it will still be a difficult Christmas for them as well. A lot of officer's have called, stopped by or brought by gifts. They have really helped me through this difficult time. Well, Baby! I'll go for now. Tell Jesus I said, "Happy Birthday". Enjoy your first Christmas in Heaven!

I love you!
Tracie

See you in a minute 1-4-3

Tracie M. Hewitt
Jeff's Wife

December 24, 2004

Jeff,
I just wanted to wish you a Merry Cristmas, and let you know not a day goes by that you are not thought about. You are missed by every Patrolman that goes out on the street. Please watch over us as we continue the work here. Happy Holidays to all of your Family, they are in my prayers.

BCSD

December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas Jeff,and to Tracie, I hope you find some peace this year. I know it wil be hard, but you might find it in the most unexpected places, like the blue lights in Jeffs honor, a blue ribbon on a strangers car, or a simple Merry Christmas from a complete stranger. I'm trying to be a police officers wife also, and damn it's not an easy thing to do. I pray for everyone with a badge everynight, and I find some peace knowing that Jeff is now my husbands 'back up'. Just know that there are people out there whom you don't know that are rooting for you and wishing you all the best and praying for you. The women behind the men who wear badges are a 'sisterhood', and we've got your back. So, just look around, and one of us will be there.

LEO wife, APD officer

December 24, 2004

WE WILL NEVER FORGET.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BROTHER.

LT.CHUCK LONG E-1
BUNCOMBE COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE

December 24, 2004

Jeff,
I miss you. There have been so many times in the past 9 months that I wished you were here. There have been so many times that I actually dialed your number. Last night was one of those times. I don't know what to do and I wish so badly that you were here to tell me how I am suppose to handle all of this craziness that is going on in my life. I remember when we use to have our heart to hearts and you were so "real". Now that you are gone I don't have that 'realness' to see me through. I know God has a plan for you and he needed you but there are a lot of people who needed you here too. I miss you so much and I hope that some how, some way you know whats going on and you are here and you will see us through this.

December 19, 2004

Dear Jeff & Hewitt Family,

I received a Christmas Card from your mother in law today, what a wonderful gesture on her part. We all belong to a group now called Gold Star. No one ever wants to be a part of this group because of the criteria to join and that is to lose a loved one in the line of duty. I know how the sensless act of one individual can destroy a family and their dreams. I know saying to the Hewitt family to have a Merry Christmas is something that will be impossible for them, but they will try and will take one day at a time. You might want to try what we are going to do this Christmas, light a candle while the family is together and place it next to Jeff's picture. This will be a way of inviting him into our hearts. I have decorated the entire outside of my home with blue lights this year to honor all the heros that lost their lives while patrolling the streets across this country. One of those lights is Jeff's. I received a plaque the other day and the last sentence on this plaque is in quotes and I want to repeat it for the Hewitt family, it says: "Always in our hearts, always in our words, forever young, forever Blue. Our Guardian Angel." How true this statement is. All of you are in my prayers and I hope to meet you in Washington, DC next May. Jeff, at the next roll call, say hi to my son Mike and tell him I miss and love him and try not to be too hard on him because he was Airborne Army and you were a Marine. Mike use to really get teased by the Marines he worked with in Chicago, but it was all in good fun as any man that served this country is also a hero. God keep you all close to him. You will never be forgotten.

Robert Gordon, father of Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon, Asst. Chief, Retired

December 17, 2004

Jeff,
Your Christmas tree in front of the department is so beautiful, with the blue and white lites and the blue bows that Tracie made. We all have blue ribbons on our cars, and so many of us have blue lites shinning in windows at home for you. Jeff, you are still missed so much and talked about each and every day. Merry Christmas and please keep watching over each of us as we watch over our officers.

Lt, Carol Childree
Buncombe County Sheriffs Dept Communications

December 17, 2004

To all those who visit this site...I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am grateful for your kind words of comfort. Most of all, I am grateful to you for remembering Jeff! I wish each one of you a Happy Holiday Season! May God richly bless and protect your lives.

Tracie M. Hewitt

Tracie Hewitt
Jeff's wife

December 15, 2004

Hey Baby,
Lady Winter has already taken center stage. It has been so cold! There has even been some snow blowing around. Taylor is praying for a white Christmas. Could you put in a good word? I miss my birds so much. They have taken flight for the winter. Their absence reminds me of what a lonely place this world is without you. On those days, when I am missing you most, it was so nice to be able to look out the window and see those beautiful yellow finches that you had sent from the Heavens. Watching them brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart...and I knew without a doubt that you were watching out for me and delivering your love on their wings.

It's only 9 days until Christmas. I haven't even begun to shop. I just can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit. Last night I decorated a Christmas tree for you. It's at the Sheriff's dept right behind the beautiful memorial stone they placed there for you. Cheryl and Carol helped me decorate it. It was freezing, I know you must have been laughing at us. The tree is decorated in Blue lights and bows in honor of you and all of the other officers that have so selflessly given their lives to protect. A single blue light also shines in the window at home. I hope you can see it, Baby. As for home, everything is pretty much the same. There are so many things to be done, but my heart just isn't in it. I wish I could just crawl under a rock until Christmas is over. But I know that isn't the way we "Hewitts" do things. With you in my heart...I will pick myself up and carry on. I'll hate it, but I'll do it. I will carry on for you and for Taylor.

Taylor had another Tae Kwon Do test...He now has his orange belt. He is so proud of it! You should see him break those boards. Well Baby, I need to go pick Taylor up at school. Just know how much I love and miss you!

Love you always,
Tracie

See you in a minute 1-4-3

Your love comes to me on Angel's wings!

Tracie Hewitt
Jeff's Wife

December 15, 2004

Jeff,
Our Blue Christmas lights are proudly displayed in memory of you. Merry Christmas.

Sgt. Pete Allen & family
BCSD

December 14, 2004