Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, as they are faced with this tragic day a year later.

Nick's family,Kirsten and Gavin--keep your chin up. Nick is watching down on you. This is a very hard time..but know that he is with you and very proud.

Nick's family--

January 30, 2005

A year has passed since Nick paid the ultimate price to defend the laws and citizens of the City of Saint Louis. To say Nick has been missed is to say the Pacific Ocean has some water in it.

Seeing all of these reflections and personal messages to Nick makes it clear how many lives Nick touched directly or indirectly. The outpouring of love from the city of Saint Louis and beyond, manifested by the hundreds of police officers throughout the country who stood on line for hours to pay their respects and the citizens that lined the funeral route and the school children with their "God Bless Officer Sloan" sign in the windows of the school behind the funeral home was overwhelming.

I think of Nick a lot and regret the time I did not get to spend with him and it makes me know that I missed an opportunity to enrich my life further than God has already blessed it. I am resolved to enjoy my family and friends to the fullest as if each day were the last.

the suffix -ian
This suffix is a variant of ‘–an’ and means ‘belonging to’ or ‘relating to’ and is often used to describe a person who comes from a particular place:
Someone from the city of Melbourne is called a Melburnian.
It’s also used in connection with religion or beliefs:
A person who follows the teaching of Christ is a Christian.
It can be used for a profession:
Someone who writes history is a historian.
A person who works in politics is a politician.

I am committing to be a Nickian or to be Nick-like. I am going to work at trying to be there for those that need me. To provide comfort for those that just need to talk. To provide support to those that need to make tough decisions. To provide warmth to those impacted by life's trials. To worry more about what I could have done for others instead of concerning myself with what I perceive others have done to me. In short to help make this place a better place to live without having agendas or underlying objectives. I want to be happy in this life and I want everyone else to join in that happiness.

So to all of you that may choose to be Nickians, the first meeting is right this minute. The meetings last 24 hours and we meet daily including holidays and Sundays.

Bring a friend.

Tim Carpenter
Nick's Uncle

January 29, 2005

hi nick! i know i never knew you, but i have come to love and respect your girlfriend as i've come to know her just recently. i know she misses you so dearly and would give anything to have you back. your little boy is just precious! it is coming up on one year since you had to leave this earth. please just give kir some Heavenly comfort and help her raise that beautiful baby of yours. i will do my best to help her through things as much as i can, but i know she needs the reassurance from you. anyway, nick, kirsten speaks of you as a hero, which all of our fallen officers truly are. i'm glad to know that you were loved and happy doing what you loved most. if you need anything up in Heaven, find my fiancee, Cole. He's a wonderful young man who will do anything in his power to help you out. Please send him my undying love and assure him that he will also live on just as you will through those who love you with their whole heart.

Jessi Garger
Fiancee of P.O. Cole Martin E.O.W 4/25/03

January 28, 2005

On angels ...
"The wings ain't anything but a uniform that's all. When they're in the field so to speak, they always wear them."
-Taken from Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

Nick,
It'll be one year this Sunday. You're not forgotten ...

January 28, 2005

January 28, 2005

We've come to that day that took your life and changed so many others. I wrote a little poem for you (and all fallen officers) that I wanted to share. I hope you won't think it's too corny. Here goes:

*****************************

Officer Down

The sun rose up this morning
Across the railroad track
Two officers went on duty
But only one came back

In just a few split moments
Shots rang out loud and plain
A hero fell in battle
And a city cried in pain

Loved ones were not forgotten
As he entered through Death's door
And was greeted by his brothers
Who'd passed this way before

Each man in blue, each woman
Rises up to meet the test
They will not lay their duty down
To take their well earned rest

They put on yet the uniform
Their badges still shine bright
Phantom squad cars on patrol
Cruise silent through the night

Though Evil moves in shadows
Let men sleep, knowing then
Those who guard the city now
Can never fall again

****************************

We'll never forget your sacrifice, Nick. Keep watch over us all.

PAT CARPENTER
OFFICER'S COUSIN

January 28, 2005

NICK:

Last week Mom, Kelly, Heather and I received some devastating news. Early yesterday morning, you sent me a sign to let me know that everything will be okay, and we will make it through the latest obstacle in life. Thank you...

I Love You SON,

DAD

DAD

January 27, 2005

Officer Sloan just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you, I will never forget you. My son is there with you, instead of saying first anniversary of his death, I decided to say it was his first birthday in heaven. So Nick your first birthday is coming up also, Happy Birthday. I know that your family will miss you everyday, but we will never forget you. All of you are in my prayers...

Connie Barker
Mother of Clint Walker E.O.W. 1-14-04

January 27, 2005

Nick,

Today is one day shy of the last day I saw you.

I thank God every day that Heather had Bobby's party that weekend. Mike and I had a wedding that day. My mom was gonna keep the girls, so we skipped the wedding and went to Heather's. We then got ready at her house and went to the reception later.

I remember so many details from that day. You and your dad were sitting on the couch when we carried the girls in.

You commented on how big the girls were getting, and asked if Kirsten had called me back about working out. (My new year's resolution). The party went on as usual until Gavin started to throw up on Bobby's presents!

That's when Aunt Teresa told you to stick him outside! (she's a dog lover)!

They were predicting a big snow storm coming in. The reception we were going to was at the Electrician's Hall on Hampton and you invited us to stay the night at your house if it got bad.
It sounds corny, but I was in Bobby's room changing for the reception and I could hear you telling everyone goodbye, and taking Gavin around for kisses. For a moment I thought I'll just see him later. I swear, something told me to go. So I came out half ready and gave Gav a kiss and told you "I 'll see you later, I'll call you if we need a place to stay."

You smiled and I walked back to Bobby's room. That was it. The last time I would ever see or talk to you.

I still have this overwhelming sadness in me that I don't believe will ever go away. I just try to think of our good memories together. I would love to hear your voice. I do feel like you hear me. You're always on my mind and in my heart.

Love, Michelle

January 23, 2005

Hey Nick!

I am thinking of you and I hope you are doing okay. That miserable day is coming up and I know it is going to be so hard for everyone. I think of you every day and wish things could have been different. Please let Kir, Gavin, and your family know you are there with the because they will really need you right now. I will be going to the mass at St. Gabriel in honor of you. I think that is great that it is being held. You have touched so many people's lives in the short amount of time you were here. You would always give me advice and help me when I needed to figure something out. I will be thinking of you as January 30th approaches. Oh yeah, one of my students came up with a great idea. We are having a "Support officers killed in the line of duty" on January 31st. This is in your honor. The students will get to wear jeans and a navy or blue shirt. They will be making donations and then we are giving it to the Backstoppers. I thought you would really like that. I will not be at school that day because I will be at the mass for you. I am going to have someone take a picture of my class and then give a copy to Kirsten and your family. I will talk to you later. Take care of everyone.

Tracie
Friend

January 22, 2005

Nick,

It's hard to believe that this time last January we were all celebrating Bobby's 1st birthday at Heather and Josh's house. If someone would have told me that it would have been the last time I saw you I would have given you a bigger hug and told you how much I love you and how much you have meant to me ever since that first time I saw you the day you were born. You and your sisters have always been more than a nephew and nieces to me. That was always something special about our family - we all cared about each other and hung around together and everybody got along since day one - people would comment when they found out you were all "just" cousins that they didn't really know their cousins and only saw them at family functions and they thought it was great how you all got along like one big family. Now we have the next generation of "cousins" - Gavin, Bobby, Skylar, McKenna and Grant (so far) and I hope they get to grow up the same way, one big family.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Love Always
Aunt Joan

January 21, 2005

KIRSTEN:

i was so glad to see your message when i checked on my baby's reflection page! i would be more than glad to talk with you. i am not sure how to get in touch with you other than on here. please please get in touch me with whenever you have a chance! you and your precious baby will be in my prayers. i can't wait to hear from you! take care until then!

much love,
jessi garger

Jessi Garger
Fiancee of P.O. Cole Martin

January 21, 2005

NICK:

I hope you are doing okay...

As you know, Mom and I were married for thirty-four years on January 2nd. A lot of people said when we got married that we were too young and that it would not last. They were wrong. Mom is a wonderful person, who is constantly dealing with so much physical pain. She is truly the most unselfish person that I have ever met. She will go out of her way to help anyone.

Your sisters, Kelly and Heather are having a very tough time dealing with you not being here. They are being strong, even though the pain is overwhelming. You three have always been there and helped each other through hard times. Please continue to help all of us, we need it.

About five or six months ago, Mom and I met with Father Burgoon and scheduled a Mass in your honor at St. Gabriel's Church on January 31st at 10:00 A.M. I'm sure that a lot of your friends will be in attendance.

Last weekend we celebrated Bobby's birthday party at Heather's house. I am sure that you were there with us.

Love you forever...

A very proud father...

DAD

January 20, 2005

Dear Sloan Family;
I just wanted to let you know that as the first anniversary of your son Nick's death draws near I still remember him and you. I pray for God to give you comfort and for you to feel Nick's presence in your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you know how much you are loved by your law enforcement family. Even though I don't know you personally, I do feel as though I am part of an extended family we are all members of due to our jobs and my heart continues to ache for the family and child he left behind. I hope you find comfort in knowing what a difference your son made on this earth and that his mark will forever be here. God bless you all and may you continue to gain strength from one another and the rest of your extended family. There are no words that can erase the pain but know that there are plenty of shoulders to assist in carrying that pain and grief for you.

Anonymous
St. Charles County Sheriff Department

January 20, 2005

I was just reading your mom's latest message, about approaching the first year anniversary of the day you were taken from us. I've been thinking about that, about how long it was between the time I first heard the news and when I finally realized it was you. A lady I work with was having a friend over that evening from the St Louis PD and she got a phone call. "He won't be able to make it," she told us. "He's got an officer down." Bad news regardless, but I still had no inkling it was you. That evening the news was on TV. But you know how sometimes you have the news going but you don't really watch it? Well, I heard bits and pieces and didn't really catch the name. But then I heard something about the officer's father. And I was like "Uh oh." Still I'm thinking it's somebody else. Call it denial, I guess. Then I saw in the paper the next morning that it was you. Nearly a year has passed now and your mom and dad (and everyone else) are going to have to face that dreadful anniversary. Please help them cope with it and remind them that this separation is only a blink of an eye in eternity.

PAT CARPENTER
OFFICER'S COUSIN

January 18, 2005

NICK:

We are coming to the one year anniversary of the worst day of our lives.

I was thinking back about how excited you were to start the Police Academy on January 2, 2001. I always remember it, because it was our 30th wedding anniversary. Little did anyone ever imagine that three years and exactly four weeks later, you would face the biggest challenge in your life. So much has changed since that day.

There are so many people that continue to help us. Just the other day, one of your friends called to say that he was going to name his baby, "Nicholas" after you. We are touched that so many people are doing unbelievable things in your honor. You have been honored in many cities and states, and we have heard from people in other countries.

We love you so much. We try very hard to keep going everyday. The other day I was at the store and saw something that reminded me of you, and I started to cry. Dad continues to struggle everyday. I don't know very many people who had the relationship that your Dad and you had all the time. I am glad that I have pictures that remind me of all that we have done with family and friends.

I thank God everyday for the babies--I guess they are little men now! They are so precious. They make me so happy. Gavin and Bobby are so cute together. What one doesn't think of, the other one does. I know that you are with them all of the time. Before Dad and I took Gavin home yesterday, he and Bobby hugged and kissed each other. Gavin said, "I love you Bobby", and Bobby said, "I love you Gavin". It was so cute. It reminded me of when you left Bobby's birthday party one year ago, you gave us all hugs and kisses and said that you loved us. Here's a hug and kiss and I Love You Nick..

Love MOM

MOM

January 17, 2005

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(Uncle Nick- I love you. Thanks for my birthday present. I miss you.)

Bobby
Nick's nephew

January 16, 2005

Hey Nick,
Well today is Bobby's second birthday. Last night we took Gavin and Bobby to see Elmo's Coloring Book. Kelly, mom, dad and I took the boys for Bobby's birthday. They had so much fun. They are so cute together.
Please help the fallen officer's adjust to there new home. Please help there families deal with there loss. I will pray for them everyday.
I love you and miss you so much. As your son would say, "Love you Honey!"

Love you lots,
Heather

Heather
Nicks sister

January 13, 2005

Dear Nick:

I could not believe the news this morning. A little over a month ago, you were joined by Officer Brad Schultz and this morning now, two more young officers died. I think about how their families had been awakened with the news and how their lives are now changed forever. I pray that you continue to help them and their families. We will always be grateful to everyone who helped us and continue to help us everyday.

LOVE,

MOM

Mom

January 12, 2005

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(Dear Uncle Nick,
I love you and miss you so much. Can't wait to see you again.
Love you,
Bobby)

BOBBY
NICKS NEPHEW

January 6, 2005

As a fellow cop who has lost several friends in the line of duty, I grieve with your family. I only hope they take some comfort in knowing that God holds a special place for those who give their lives in service of others. You WILL see them again, and I know your spirit comforts them and helps them deal with their loss, until you meet again. Rest in His peace, brother.

Sgt. Bill Richardson
Anchorage, Alaska PD

January 4, 2005

Remember when...
Old ones died and new were born.
Life was changed, disassembled, rearranged.
We came together, fell apart ,and
broke each other's hearts,
Remember when...

January 3, 2005

Nick,

Happy New Year! We all miss you and wish you were still here with us. Keep helping everyone to be strong and make it through the tough times. I hope the new year helps ease some pain for Kirsten, Gavin, and your family. I know everyone still feels so much pain, and things are going to be extremely hard as January 30th approaches, but do your best to help everyone out! I know you will since you were always looking out for everyone else. I miss you and I will talk to you later!

Tracie

January 2, 2005

Nick-
Happy New Year!!! I cannot believe in 29 days it will be 1 year since you were taken from us. Sometimes it seems like it wasn't that long ago since the pain still hurts so much and other times it seems like forever since you were able to give me a hug or to talk in person.

I can honestly say that as of January 30, 2004, our lives changed forever. I am not the same person that I was before. I don't feel like being around a lot of people or going to parties. James and I were invited to several New Year's Eve parties and chose to just stay home and have a quiet evening watching movies. I am happier just being around our family and close friends. For 2005, I want to try to live my life more like you did. I want to live each day to the fullest and try to make other people feel better with a kind word or to help them with something. You definitely helped a lot of people just by being you.

I know that you probably don't think that you are helping us still but you are with all of the signs that you keep showing me, Mom, Dad, James, Heather, Josh, Bobby and Gavin. They help us all make it through one more day. You just seem to know what to do to make us smile or laugh at a time when we really don't feel up to it.

You are the best brother that Heather and I could ever have hoped for and I am so glad that we are able to have all of the memories of all of the fun things that we did and that Mom always seemed to be taking pictures which I will now forever cherish and will share with Gavin.

I know that you were there to welcome Brad and the other officers who came after you. My heart goes out to all of their families.

Thanks for my Christmas present. I think Dad and Mom really liked what we gave them also.

See you soon
I Love you,
Kel

Kel
Nick's sister

January 1, 2005

NICK:

Happy New Year!!!

I hope you are doing okay. Last night Mom and I stayed home and watched a couple of movies. A few friends called throughout the evening and wished us a happy new year and invited us to stop by for a drink. We thought it was best to stay home away from all of the craziness. We toasted the new year with ice-tea and diet dr. pepper.
How times have changed!!!!!

I hope that year 2005 will be better than 2004. I cannot imagine it being much worse. Mom and I have a lot of tough decisions to make in the future, and we will be calling on you for your help and guidance.

I wish I could have been there with you on January 30, instead of at the other end of the city. I cannot imagine what you went through the last few minutes of your life. I think about it constantly.

I will talk to you later...

Your very proud father...

Love you forever...

DAD

DAD

January 1, 2005

Hey Nick it's Josiah...Nicole, Grant and I wanted to say happy new year. We think of you often and pray for your family a lot. Hopefully you'll be able to help everyone have a better 2005 than we did in 2004. We miss you. Thanks for helping me out at work all the time...Your brother in brown.
Josiah, Nicole, and Grant

Cousins

December 31, 2004