Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Nick, I just wanted to leave a reflection for you and your family as the anniversary nears. Just know that you are in our prayers, as we all know how hard it is to go on after someone you love so much is taken away from you. Nick, you have a wonderful family that has been so great to my family. Please watch over them from heaven. We never forget heroes.
Denise Schilli

Denise Schilli
Sister of Jeremy Chambers EOW 4-24-06

January 21, 2007

Please know that you and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers as the third anniversary of your EOW approaches.
It is obvious by all the reflections left on this page what an incredible young man you were. Time will never erase the pain of your loss, but fond memories will sustain your loved ones.
Thank you for your sacrifice. You will forever be remembered as a hero.

Linda Lamm - LEO wife and sister of
Jay Balchunas EOW 11.05.04

January 13, 2007

NICK:

I LOVE YOU.....

SEE YOU SOON....

DAD

January 12, 2007

Nick,
I saw this yesterday and thought of you.

Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow. by James Dean

Until we meet again...

I love you,
Heather

Heather
Nicks Very Proud Sister

January 4, 2007

Happy New Year Nick!

Nick,
I'm sure you had a big party with all your friends in Heaven. At midnight someone shot off a loud firework or shot a gun, anyway it woke me up and I saw that it was midnight. I thought about how you would always call just after midnight to wish us a Happy New Year. You called every year. We celebrated New Years at 9p.m. with the boys. They were so cute, they wore New Years hats, played with noise makers and shot off confetti poppers. They also ran around yelling Happy New Years. They had a great time. Baby Payton couldn't attend our party because she was home sick. She is feeling much better now, but still a little sick.
We all miss you so much, nothing is the same without you.

Until we meet again...

I love you,
Heather

Heather
Nicks Very Proud Sister

January 4, 2007

I want to thank you Nick. You never knew of me, nor did I know you. I grew up in Arnold Mo. and graduated college in 2003. I had no clue where my life was going. I had no clue that, what happened to you, would change my life. No more than 4 months went by since your unfortunate situation, and I too became a police officer. For what you did for society, I too wanted to contribute my part. I have been a Police Officer for almost three years now, and it is the most gratifying job I could ever imagine. Rest in peace "Brother." May God keep watch over your loved ones, for I keep them in my prayers!

Officer Jackson
EPD-Kansas

December 26, 2006

Merry Christmas Nick! Stay very close to your family as they celebrate another Christmas without you. Everyone misses you so much! I sm getting ready to stop by the cemetary. I hope you and Joe have a great Christmas together. Tell him Merry Christmas for me. I miss you both!

Tracie

December 25, 2006

I just wanted to say that your in our thoughts! We sang Happy Birthday to baby Jesus last night! Merry Christmas! We love you and miss you!
Mike,Michelle,Skylar,& McKenna

Michelle

December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas Nick!

I hope you are enjoying your holiday. Today we took Bobby, Gavin and Payton to the cemetery. They were so excited to see the gifts you left them. Bobby told me, "Uncle Nick always knows the best present to get and he sent it from Heaven just for me." He was so happy and played for hours, he thought he could skip his nap so he could play longer. We all miss you so much.

This year we gave mom and dad a special gift, I think they really liked it. If it weren't for you, a few special friends and James we never would have pulled it off. This is such a hard time for our family, nothing is the same without you. Please help give all of us the strength to make it through the next couple of months. Make sure to give Gavin a big hug, he misses you so much. He always ask, "Why can't my daddy come back from Heaven." I wish I could bring you back, he would be the happiest little boy in the world, and we would be the happiest family in the world.

I miss you so much. If I could go back in time, I would go back to January 30, 2004 and I would make sure I was there to help you. I know it was your time to go, but maybe if I was there, you wouldn't have had to die alone. I wish I could have been there to hold your hand and tell you that I Love You. I'm so sorry I wasn't there.

Happy 1/2 Birthday.

Until we meet again...
Heather

Heather
Nicks very proud sister

December 25, 2006

Nick-
Tomorrow is Gavin's 4th Birthday. Can you believe it? We all went down to Heather's today and Mom & Dad got Gavin a chocolate chip cookie cake to celebrate his birthday. (Like father, like son) Gavin was so excited. We sang Happy Birthday to him and he kept smiling so big. I know that you were with us. I know his wish was to have his Daddy back here with him. He asked me the last time we had him why we can't get you back here with us instead of you being in heaven. I always get tears in my eyes when he asks me those questions. After we sang Happy Birthday to him, he gave Dad a big hug. Payton enjoyed our piece of the cookie cake especially the icing. I guess you are just preparing here for her 1st birthday with the blue icing. I haven't forgot.

Mom took pictures of the three kids with their Christmas pj's on in front of Heather's tree. Gavin and Bobby each sat next to Payton and gave her a big hug. I know all three of the kids will grow up as close as Heather, you and me did. I will keep my promise to you.

Well, please be with all of us. You know how the holidays are for us. I love you little brother. Thanks for the dreams that I had the past two nights. It seems like you are really here with me and our family. When I wake up, I'm disappointed that I can't call you.

I love you,
Kel

Kel
Nicks sister

December 3, 2006

Nick-
Sorry its been a while since I wrote to you. I just miss you so much. Payton is sitting on my lap which is unusual because now she is crawling and always wants to be down and about. I am so happy that you "helped" us get Payton. I think Mom has told everybody that story about our talk. Payton does some things that you do and I know that they are from her "Uncle Nick". I know she also "sees you" Thanks for the visits.

We went to your Garden where they unveiled the memorial stone and there were so many nice things that were said about you. I'm sure you heard the talk that Bobby and I had on the way down to the garden. Gavin wanted me to hold him when we got to the garden. He was being shy (can you believe that... your son shy?) He had on his sweatshirt, coat and Bobby's cars blanket. This was very unusual since he always wants Dad to hold him. It meant so much to our family that all of the people that turned out and all of the nice things that they said to us. You have touched so many lives.

We went to Guns & Hoses. James & Scott took me down on the main floor so that I could see what it was like all the years that you went with Dad and everybody. It was very crowded and alot of beer was spilled but it was nice seeing all of the people turn out. I also ran into many of your friends. They made me laugh about so many stories that you had. We had on our shirts that your friends had made. Bobby even got one this year. He loved it because it had on the boxing people and it was about his Uncle Nick. Payton had on a shirt about you that the boys wore the first year to Jeff City. She also stayed up until midnight. Its so hard to believe the boys will be 4 soon. It was also so nice to see all of our "new" family. It is not something that any of us wanted but there sure are alot of nice people that we have gotten to know. I missed the calls that we used to get when you guys were on your way home from Guns & Hoses. The last call you made I wound up talking to everyone in the van.

We were talking about Christmas presents and Dad told someone that the only present he would want would be to have you back. I know that all of us feel the same way. I know we have to celebrate for the kids. James decorated our tree since I really don't feel like doing it and we have "your" tree ready for the boys and Payton to decorate.

Please be with all of us as you always are especially Dad and Mom. You can just tell in Dad's eyes that he lost his best friend and nothing will ever change it. I like to watch him with Gavin, Bobby and Payton. He seems a little happier then.

We love you so much!
James, Kel and Payton

Kel
Nicks very proud sister

December 2, 2006

Thinking of you and your family on another Thanksgiving. God bless all of you!

November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving Nick!

I have been having a hard time lately with the holidays approaching. The holidays just seem like any other day to me. If someone three years ago, would have told me how different my life would be today, I never would have believed them.
I really wish there was some way I could have helped you the day you were killed. It really bothers me that you had to die alone. I don't know how to express the feeling I have, it feels like I some how let you down. I know I didn't, I just wish I could have been there with you. I guess, I always think maybe I could have done something to help you.
I'm not sure what I'm suppose to learn from your death, but I know the things that I thought were impossible, can happen. I have learned that almost three years after your death, the people who truly care about us are still in our lives.
I'd better go help prepare Thanksgiving dinner. I'll save you the wishbone. I know breaking the wish bone was our favorite thing to do.
I love you little brother.

Until we meet again,
Heather

P.S.
Bobby is very excited that you bounced on his bouncey ball with him. He has been talking about it all day. At the cemetery he left you and Joe each a turkey bucket that he made. He was standing over by the tree and told mom that he is so sad because he really misses his Uncle Nick and wishes he was here. I almost started to cry when mom told me what he said. I'm glad you still come and play with him, I just wish I could see you like he can.

Heather
Nicks very proud sister

November 23, 2006

Nick,
Happy Thanksgiving! We went to Guns and Hoses last night. I know that was a special night for you and Dad for many years. You know how much we would give just to hold you just one more time. We miss you so much. It is hard to believe that Gavin will be four next week. He reminds me a lot of you! We have been blessed with the birth of little Payton this year but suffered the loss of Grandpa just one week later. Gavin and Bobby remind me of you and Heather. They both have a lot of your personalities. I thank God everyday and pray for your Dad, Kelly, and Heather. Your senseless murder has affected so many. We have seen a lot of your friends lately and I know that they still are hurting. Well Nick, we're leaving now for a visit to the cemetery. Please watch over all of us and all the officers families that have that empty setting at the table.
Love forever and a day,
Mom
P.S. We saw Matt Browning last night. He is truly and inspiration to all. If there were more people like him the world would be a better place!

MOM

November 23, 2006

Hey Nick! Guns 'N' Hoses was last night. We all went and had a great time. We had shirts made with your name on them again so we can show everyone that we will never forget! We all had some drinks for you and I'm sure you were right there with us! Take care and Happy Thanksgiving! Miss you!

Tracie

November 23, 2006

Nick,

We give thanks for the time you were with us. Of course, we wish it was longer but we leave these things to Our Heavenly Father to decide. You left a legacy of honorable deeds and that wonderful son of yours, Gavin.

May God continue to watch over all of your friends and family.

Amen

A Thankful Citizen

November 23, 2006

I was at school in the Central West End when you gave your life to serve and protect me. I am now studying criminal justice to become a police officer like you.

Mary
Citizen of St. Louis

November 14, 2006

Nick,
Please be with the Belleville officer that was injured today and his family. It's always terrible to hear of a cop being hurt while all they are trying to do is keep everyone safe. I know you are an angel watching over all your fellow officers.
Thank you for protecting both of them. love always

November 10, 2006

To the Family and friends of Officer Nicholas Sloan, this peom helped me through losing someone that I loved. Hope it brings some comfort to you as well:

Letter From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say... but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. I need you here badly; you're part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too... that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain." And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free, remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

~Author~
Ruth Ann Mahaffey
©Copyright 1998
Written in memory of my late husband, Richard Mahaffey

November 8, 2006

Nick,
Man, reading all these things makes me just sink in my chair. We all thought you were a great police officer, and the fastest on in the district, remember running down Leachman? See Marks alot and even the mention of your name brings tears to his eyes. We all miss ya Nick. I won't leave a name cause you know who this is. Keep an eyes out for those of us continuing the fight. Your life and what you gave to us will never be forgotten. See ya.....hopefully not too soon.

PO Dist 8 SLMPD

November 5, 2006

NICK:

I forgot to tell you that Adrian Patton graduated from the Academy last night. I talk to him at the academy while I'm playing racquetball.

Also I apologize to Baby Payton for spelling her name incorrectly in the last post. I was having a rough day yesterday. Hopefully things will get better soon...

LOVE YOU FOREVER
YOUR VERY PROUD FATHER

DAD

November 3, 2006

NICK:

I just got back from the cemetery. What a great place to go and try to straighten out your head. There are a couple of things that I feel like I should take care of since you left us. I have been going back and forth in my mind looking for the correct answer. Someday I will get the answer and then I will handle it the proper way.

The kids had a good time during Halloween. Bobby and Peyton were all excited. I wish you and Gavin could have been with us.

I read in the funeral notices the other day about Stan Burdzy. Stan was okay and I wish I had his energy.

As life goes on, you wonder what people are thinking when they do and say certain things. It seems like life is getting worse everyday. I guess someday people will pay for what they have or should have done.

Talk to you later
LOVE YOU FOREVER

DAD

November 2, 2006

Hi Nick,
I just wanted to tell you thanks... that was driving me crazy! Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. You will always be missed, and nothing will ever be the same without you. Take care and tell everyone "hi". please keep an eye on him for me. Lots of love, Nicole

November 2, 2006

Happy Halloween

Nick,
I was just talking to Jodi about the year me, you, Jodi and Greg all dressed up in black and painted our faces white and went trick or treating. That was so much fun, we had the best time. I wish you were here. The last time we had Gavin, he and Bobby talked about dressing up as Lightening McQueen and Mater for Halloween. I wish they could and go trick or treating together. They would be so cute and have so much fun. Bobby was talking about it last night and said it would be great if Gavin could be Mater and Payton could be Sally, the three of them would be so cute.
We all miss you so much, Bobby just came down the hall with a cars blanket over him, saying ooooooo, he is to funny acting like a ghost.
I love you little brother. Talk to you soon.

Love you,
Heather

Heather
Nicks Very Proud Sister

October 31, 2006

Why? Why did you have to be taken away from all of of us? We miss you so much. It breaks my heart to know that you are missed by so many people. I don't mean it like that, but it makes me sad to know that so many people miss you and cherrish every moment that they have ever shared with you. I went out for Jamie's birthday and we were all having a good time. When she said that it is really hard for her to celebrate her birthday without Joe, that really broke my heart. It really hurt so bad! How is Gavin ever going to remember his first birthday that he shared with you? I know he will, but we all know that he was only one. You were a great father and you always will be. Nick, we all miss you and really wish we could have spent more time with you. You have truly made an impact on my life. I will always remember you and keep your spirit alive for Gavin. I know you are there helping all of us make the right decisions in life. Thank you for still being "Nick" and never changing. We Still need you to help us through difficult times. I was just telling Kirsten and Jamie that we all grieve in a different way because you meant something to all of us. You were special to so many people and in so many different ways. You were a son, brother, father, girlfriend, friend, and many other things. Nick, you did more in your life than I will ever do. I hope I can try to be half the person you were. I miss you so much and really wish things could have been different. Why? That is still the question I ask myself every day. I will never understand.

PS- The house is looking great! I have made a lot of changes! Gavin will always think of this house as his. He will still tell Julie to go to "his room." That's okay because I want him to always remember this house and all the happy memories!

Tracie

October 22, 2006