Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Juli,
I have posted on here once before, but for some reason I'm always drawn back to your husband's page. Maybe it's just because we seem to be in the same boat. If I remember correctly, you and Bryan weren't married long when he was killed. My husband and I were married 10 months when he was killed and we don't have any children.
Mike has now been gone for 7 months. Bryan's been gone for 4 months. I may be a little ahead of you in the grieving process, but I really don't think that it has gotten much easier.
I just wanted you to know that your reflections are very touching. I cry every time I read them.
We have to be strong for our husbands and know that they are taking care of us in their own little way.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Jennifer

Jennifer Waters
Surviving spouse of Mike Waters, WMPD, EOW 9-11-03

April 14, 2004

B.,
Here we are, today is the 4 month marker. There are times when I can't believe that it has been that long because so much has happened in such a short amount of time, but there are other times where it feels like an eternity since I have felt you with me. The minute that you were brought into the ER, something inside of me changed because on one hand I definitely didn't want to give up hope, but the ER nurse in me had knowledge and foresight of what the medical therapy being done for you meant. It was a strange sensation to be in the trauma room and to have YOU be the one on the cot. I never dreamed in over 7 1/2 years as a RN that you and I would be in that situation, and at that moment I was Your Wife FIRST, and trauma nurse second. I still found myself looking at your chest film and occasionally glancing at the cardiac monitor. It is so strange how little bits and pieces allow my memory to remember more and more about that night. It isn't something that I WANT to dwell on, as lately I have been blessed to begin to remember the awesome things that we did. The videotape that we have of the end of our wedding reception and our honeymoon is more than priceless. There are a lot of times where I watch it and I love to hear your voice. I was thinking about the last time we went to Indy and our time at breakfast, just nice times that WE spent together. The saddest part now is remembering how my Soul and Spirit felt when you were here. As I have said many times, you weren't JUST my husband, but my Best Friend as well. It is so difficult to have everything wiped out by such a senseless and irrational act of another man. Although I am much, much emptier now, I do try to carry on to the best of my ability. Again, I wanted to let you know that a few of the guys who were interested in fly fishing are now actually 'on the river' trying it for the first time or second time with Jeff. I think the fact that they are 'out there' would make you so proud. Also, the fact that the fly fishing auction for the scholarship to Purdue looks to have a lot of donations from various fly fishing shops across the nation, and I know that that would make you very happy. I know how 'cool' of a tribute that you would think that the auction is, and we are trying to honor you in any way possible. The guys from MPD are still readily available to help me in anyway possible, and I sincerely appreciate the fact that they look after me. I know that you are looking down on me and I know that you didn't ask to leave me, just as we were forming an "US". I know that we were our own family entity, as we were possibly planning on attempting an addition this August. As I alluded to earlier, my life DID change the minute that you came into the ER, it just took me a few months to realize and understand the implications of those changes. I do feel your strength and approval of my upcoming plans. I don't KNOW for sure how women in my position get up and make a life afterwards, but I will send a very large thank you to Susie, for providing me with honest to goodness advice and truth on the aftermath of a tragic death such as yours. As I prepare myself for Washington (which is now only a month away..) I know that there will be sacred time for the two of us to spend alone in silence, where I will finally be able to share my thoughts more extensively with you. I Love You and I Miss You Now and Forever,
Your Wife Jules

April 13, 2004

Dear Master Police Officer Jimmie,
I am the widow of Bryan S. Verkler and I am so pleased to hear that you will be riding in my husband's honor. There are so many things that mean so much that people have done since 12/13/03, and quite frankly this is one of them. I want to take this opportunity express my gratituded for the sacrifice that you give in going to work everyday, and for walking the thin blue line. Although we haven't met, it sounds as if James City County is lucky to have such a fine officer in their city to look after them. My family and I will be at the Candlelight Vigil, and I am truly looking forward to meeting you then.
Sincerely,
Juli Verkler
Survivor of Ptlm. Bryan S. Verkler EOW 12/13/03

April 12, 2004

First and foremost, I want to extend my deepest sympathy for the loss of Patrolman Verkler this past December. Patrolman Verkler's service and sacrifice is not forgotten, nor will it ever be. I am a memebr of the Police Unity Tour and on May 10th I will begin a bicycle trek from Virginia Beach, Va. to the National Law Enforcement Officer's Memorial in Washington D.C. This year I will be dedicating my 250 pedaled miles to Officer Verkler’s life and his two and half years of service to his community. I will have with me an engraved bracelet with Patrolman Verkler's name that I will have worn throughtout the bike journey. If Patrolman Verkler's family attends the candlelight vigil I would be honored to present them with the bracelelt that I wore in his memory. I hope the family knows that Patrolman Verkler's sacrifice will never be forgotten.

Master Police Officer Jimmie Reardon
James City County Police Department

April 12, 2004

Bryan,
I just wanted to tell you I spent the afternoon with your wife and she is doing well! I am so so proud of her. But also proud to know that you are helping her heal. She is an awsome person and I look forward to knowing her better as our friendship continues. I will do anything to help her through this! I wish I could have met you because I know that you had to be a wonderful person. Keep an eye of us down here as we need a helping hand every once and a while

Susie Matteson
Widow of Brad Matteson, Fort Wayne PD EOW 10-5-00

April 9, 2004

Bryan,

It's been almost 4 months since that tragic night. I still have problems expressing what I feel. I've tried several times to write something but just couldn't finish it. I'll depend on memories to help me deal with it. The most vivid memory of you was at shift change when you would come into the squad room. Day shifters weren't awake yet and midnighters were ready to go home. As soon as you walked into that room moods seemed to change and the jokes would start. Often you were the brunt of the jokes but that never seemed to bother you. You always had that special quality that would make people happy. Bryan you are sorely missed.

Rest well my brother,

Mike

Cpl. Michael Thompson
Mishawaka Police Dept.

April 5, 2004

I often visit this website after the death of two dear friends from the NCSHP (Troopers Calvin Taylor E.O.W. October 3, 2001 and Anthony Cogdill E.O.W. May 30, 2003).

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Patrolman Verkler. I am deeply saddened to see the death of another very young man. From the reflections written about him, it is obvious that he was a wonderful man and officer.

Jules, I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. It is hard enough to hear those horrible words, but to be working in the ER when they bring your loved one is the most horrific thing that could happen.

I am a firefighter paramedic. I was at the scene of Trooper Anthony Cogdill's death. I had known Anthony for about 20 years. The helplessness that I felt that day was unbelievable. Anthony was a dear friend and there was nothing that I, or anyone else could do to help him. I couldn't imagine losing my husband and soulmate.

These are senseless occurrences that continue to happen. I hope there is some comfort in knowing that there are many prayers going out for you and your family.

Thank you so much to the men and women who continue to serve their communities and this great Nation. God Bless You.

...Gone, but never Forgotten...

Marti (EMT-Paramedic)
Haywood Co EMS (NC)

April 4, 2004

Brian, As I try too find the words to ease the pain for you and Tom's families it's hard too see the screen with tears in my eyes. As we approach the turkey season, I can't help but think even though you won't be there in person you will be in spirit. When the wind blows through the trees or we see God's beauty unfold in the early morning hours before us we will remember you. This year will be dedicated to you both. It's been hard to get all the loose ends tied up before the opening day. Watching the kids faces that will be going out will be like watching you. Watch over us as we watch natures beauty unfold before us. You will be missed but never forgotten. The Big Gobbler

Cpl. M.A. Banicki
St. Joseph County Police Dept

March 22, 2004

Dear Bryan,
It's been a little over three months since I received that devastating phone call on that early Saturday morning. To this day, I still do not understand. I can accept the fact that you were protecting the communtiy as it is part of the job, but I still wonder why you? Your life was cut way to short here on Earth that day, but I know that you are in a safer place now and that you are looking down on all of us. We had some great times over the years. I was just thinking about the skating party for your birthday one year, fishing back at the pond, and of course the "annual" croquet games at Grandpa's. Bryan, your smile, laugh, and good nature will be missed, but you will never be forgotten.

Jill Groves, cousin

March 22, 2004

Dear Bryan, Thinking of you and Tom is something many, many people still and will always be doing. How empty these hallways at work seem without the laughter and kidding that the two of you brought in here. Myself and all the ladies at work miss you putting your head through the front window and requesting another ticket book for click it or ticket. You always had a story and brought a smile to our faces. We all think of you and talk about you often. We have two Teddy Bears that a citizen brought in with your name and one with Toms she wanted them in the Police station and thats where they are. My love, thoughts and prayers are with your parents, brother and Juli always. I think of you each day and the void so many people feel since the horrific act against you and Tom. There is no understanding it and I will never accept it. I will only learn to live with it and without you both being here. But your never more than a thought away. Keep us safe our Blue Angels we love and miss you more than words can say. Love to you and your family.

Deb McGinnis
Mishawaka Police Dept. Records

March 16, 2004

Juli,
Please know that you are in people's thoughts and prayers every day. I can not imagine what you are feeling, but know that people care.
Leslie Rybicki

March 16, 2004

B.,
Today is one day after the 3 month marker. I do not call it an anniversary because to me it seems the term anniversary should only be reserved for a "happy" event. I feel your absence and the loss of your love deeper with each passing day. Many survivors tell me that it will eventually get easier, but so far it has only gotton harder everyday to be without you. I can't stand the emptiness that I feel in my heart. This is truly more painful than anything I could ever imagine. You and I were robbed of so much, so many things that we were planning or were working to do. I cannot imagine what to do with all of our broken hopes and dreams. The loss of you and your love is completely devastating. My soul feels your void completely. The thing that I treasured the most in this world is gone. I love you more that you will ever know. Nothing has ever been easy for us, but when we got married I was so joyful because I thought "we made it!" and we were pursuing our lifelong goals and dreams together. In just an instant, your life ended and I was forced to make decisions that no newlywed should make. I can wish for things to have been different and for the events to be changed, but everyday I wake up I am faced with the reality of this nightmare that I am forced to live in. This world is a horrible, cruel and uncaring place to be without you. Nothing feels right since you have gone. I often wonder what I did to deserve this, as the odds were so slim that this would happen anyway. I never worried about you a day in your life, because I was so confident in your ability to handle yourself on the street. I always knew in my heart what the reality of marrying a cop was, however this was never supposed to happen to "us". Playing the "what if" game is of no use, because the reality hits home everytime I walk through our front door and don't hear your voice to greet me. I will always love and adore you, and I want you to know how much I miss the color of your eyes, your big hand reaching out to mine, your strong arms around me and your beautiful smile. I love you baby,
Your Wife

J.

March 14, 2004

Honey,
Today the sun is out and the snow is thawing. I went for a run today and I thought about the last time we went to Indy and how much fun we had in White River Gardens in the butterfly garden and at the Colts game. I remember how happy we were and how much we really enjoyed the butterflies. I wondered if there were probably beautiful places like that where you are in Heaven, and my faith says that there are. I miss you today just as much as I did the first day you didn't come home. I have made some decisions about the direction of my life because I feel that that is the way that you are leading me to go. I Love You and hope that you will continue to give me your guidance and strength.
Love,
Your Wife

Jules

February 26, 2004

From a brother officer and fellow Hoosier...God bless, Bryan. You and Tom will always be remembered.

Special Agent Dennis Duncan
Norfolk Southern Railway Police

February 23, 2004

May god bless your family and your brothers and sisters at MPD. Continue to keep a vigilant eye on those of us serving as you did. "No greater a man, than he who will lay down his life for another."

Deputy Andrew S. Hynek
La Porte County, IN Sheriff's Department

February 17, 2004

Bryan,

It has been more than two months now. Just plain sucks. Sorry about my Patriots beating up on your Colts, again! Well no, not really, because I would have dogged you forever about that.

I really don't know what to say, but I think The Jayhawks pretty much sum it up in thier song "Will I See You in Heaven"

Well, if faith is the answer
Can you spare some to help guide me through
Swim across the ocean for a sign
Though you're gone
you're always going to be a friend of mine.

Will I see you in heaven
Shine your light from above
With your love I am never alone
Won't you carry me, won't you carry me

Bryan, God rest you and Tom. Thanks for the opportunity to know and work with you. For that, I am ever grateful. Watch over Juli, and keep us all good.

Steve

Cpl Steve Headley
Mishawaka Police Department

February 17, 2004

As a member of the 99-137 ILEA class, Ofc. Verkler will be missed. His family and friends will be in our thoughts.

Ofc. Andrew S. Richmond
North Vernon Police Dept.

February 15, 2004

Bryan,
Today is yet another "first". The first Valentine's Day without you. Before I met you, Valentine's Day was just another day. With each year that we were together, the significance grew. You always made today feel so special for us. Whether it was a dinner that you cooked or a night out, all I cared about was that we were together.
Today is also the day you would have been promoted to Corporal. There are times now when I feel as if I may make it, albeit today is not one of them. I feel the loss today as much as I did 2 months ago. It almost seems like the pain is more pronounced now. There are so many things that I still do. I still say "ours", and I still leave your treasured FOP jacket by the door even though now I realize that you are not coming home. I know I can wish my life away, but how I wish things had been different that night. I will never understand the "how's" or "why's" of the events on 12/13/03, and to try has proved senseless because the end result has not changed. I pray that you are warm and safe in Heaven and that God has wrapped you in His Loving arms. I hope that I can continue to make you proud all the remainder of my days on this Earth. I Love You and Miss You more than I can express!
Your Wife, J.

Jules

February 14, 2004

Dear Bryan,

We will all miss you. You were a big teddy bear. I know your wife and family will miss you forever-they will have a hole in their hearts forevere-but they can also remember how wonderful it was to have you in their lives. They can reflect on how empty their lives would have been without you being there.
We all in the Law Enforcement family know and appreciate the ultimate sacrifice you and Tom gave that fateful night.
That's why we take the job to help our fellow mankind, but none of us expect it to happen if and when it does.
We all love you, Tom, and you and your families will always be in my prayers and hopefully in many others too!!!

God Bless You Both!!!

Sgt. Michael E. Wettergren
Sgt. "Cigar"

Sgt. Michael E. Wettergren
St. Joseph County Police South Bend, Indiana

February 1, 2004

Bryan,

As I fellow member of ILEA Class 99-137, I had the privelege of meeting you. Living one room away and standing a few people away in our D-Squad. I remember vividly our trip to Joe's Crab shack on one of our nights of leave. You got upset at me for paying for the meal, and you went back in a got a T-Shirt that says, "Joe's Momma Loves Crabs". We laughed about that for weeks. I wear it under my vest now and then...
I was priveleged to play the music for your services. While it is always hard playing for someone you know, I am glad I could tell you goodbye in my own way: by songs.
When you were taken out of the auditorium, the last song I played for you was Sweet Hour of Prayer, just as I did for my friend Deputy Jason Baker, for his line of duty funeral. This song is very personal to me. I played it in hopes that the words would comfort your friends and family in the moments, months, and years to come. I close my message to you with some of those words. I miss you Bryan...Thank you for the good times we shared at ILEA. I will never forget you.

Sweet Hour of Prayer, Sweet Hour of Prayer
That calls me from a world of care
and bids me at my fathers throne,
make all my wants and wishes known.

In seasons of distress and grief,
my soul has often found relief;
I'll cast on him my every care,
and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer.

In your memory,
Bryan Wolfe

Deputy Bryan Wolfe
Johnson County Sheriff's Office, Indiana

January 24, 2004

To the family, friends, and colleagues of Officer Verkler, I extend my deepest sympathy for your loss. It's actually a loss for this nation to lose a homeland peacekeeper. Each one of us has a job to do and the same thought goes through our mind before, during, and after each call; finish the shift safely and go home to our family. The coward that took Officer Verker’s life changed things for a lot of people. No one who knew Bryan will ever be the same. They will carry his memory and the manner in which he lived his life with them through their life. I can only hope that some measure of comfort can be realized by those who knew this officer knowing that he died doing what he loved for those he loved.

Officer Donna C. Wright
Purdue University Calumet Police Department-Hammond, IN

January 18, 2004

Juli: Everyone here shares in your grief and the loss you and the Mishawaka PD have suffered. As I told you at he viewing, unfortunately, it's the nature of the job. I thank God each and every day that we have officers such as Bryan amongst us. The average person never will realize just what it takes or what sacrifices are made just to assure them that the simple task of just going to the store can be made with a sense of security.

Please know that Bryans heroic efforts shall never be forgotten and that I am so thankful he was "one of us" A credit to himself, his family and our profession. God Bless

Sheriff Jim Arnold
LaPorte County Sheriff

January 14, 2004

Dear Bryan, You are loved and missed by so many. I know the void and how Juli must be feeling today. I too have those feelings of such an extreme loss and emptiness. All of our lives were so senselessly and tragically changed a month ago. So many things left unsaid and so much life to live. Bryan I knew you well and now I know and talk to Juli. I see the reasons you loved her so. Shes a free spirit just like you! Your gone from our sight but never more than a second from our thoughts. You will live on through us and all your family and friends. We all miss and love you Verk! We all are here for Juli. Deb McGinnis 01/13/04

Anonymous

January 13, 2004

Its been a month today since you and Tom were taken from us. I really havent let my emotions be seen or heard, but I want to thank you for your sacrfice. You could have came home that night, but you did'nt and that breaks my heart not only for your families, but for mine as well. My father is on MPD and it could have been him. It could have been anyones father, brother or son. I know its still hard, but know that you have the support of your police family. Bryan and Tom, thank you. Thank you for doing your job protecting your fellow officers and their families.

Erin Trozzy (Burcham)
Daughter of Mishawaka Police Officer

January 13, 2004

B., January 13th, 2003
Again, another horrible "first". Today is one of the worst "firsts" of all. Today, one month ago, my world had become a very unorganized, incomplete puzzle. I remember everything so vividly. I remember the medics called at 0150 with the "heads-up" to the ER that a Mishawaka police officer had been shot, (they had not been on scene yet.) I had a sinking feeling in my heart right then, as other nurses' tried to reassure me, "It's probably not him." I began to cry that moment. In my heart, I didn't WANT to believe. I ran to the back nurses' station and began calling your cell phone. I remember saying out loud, "Pick up the phone, pick up the phone, pick up the phone." No answer. Another piece of my hope gone. "Maybe he's on scene and he's just helping out," I thought. Then a few more minutes passed and I couldn't stand it anymore. I called dispatch, hoping for some good news. I know she didn't want to tell me, because it is a horrible thing to tell anyone. I myself have had to make many phone calls to loved ones after tragic accidents', never wanting to tell, just wanting them to get to the hospital ASAP. She asked me if I could get to the hospital and I was so shocked. I told her I was already there.
I expected you to be sitting up on the cot talking with the medics while you held your injured arm or your leg. When you came in and they were doing CPR I felt my whole world cave in. This is NOT happening I thought. But it did. We will never know why and for that I am very angry. I am angry that you are no longer able to hold my hand and hug me. I miss you more than I could ever express in words. The piece of my life that is missing is so huge, I don't know how to pick up and move on without you. You were more than just a "husband", you are my best friend and soulmate forever. I never know just where to begin. There are so many jokes that we had and it pains me so many times a day that I have no one to joke with about so many different things. ONLY things that you and I knew. It is no use to try to explain to someone else. They wouldn't find it funny like we did. I want you to know that I Love You forever.

Your Wife, J.

January 13, 2004