Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Bryan, Please watch over Jules as she approaches the 2 year EOW. She is a very strong woman for going through what she has. We miss you BLUE ANGEL and my GOD be with us all.

Wife of a Mishawaka Police Officer

December 11, 2005

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you this time of year. Danny was killed in December as well, and I know how difficult it is to go through the holiday season. I got the pleasure of meeting Julie at the COPS spouses retreat this year, and there are many similarities between our losses. She is an amazing person and I have no doubt that she will grow and will find joy in her life again one day. There is no doubt her love for Bryan and how much she misses him. Please keep her, as well as the rest of this family, in your hearts and pray that they may find peace. God bless.

Linda Pope, survivor of Daniel J. Pope

December 11, 2005

Bryan,

It will be 2 years since you were called away. I know the pain still runs deep in the broken hearts of your loved ones and the holiday season makes it even worse. We all know that individuals like you dedicated their lives to law enforcement for it is a career one does not get rich at and at times is a thankless job, but you loved doing what you were doing. You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Mihcael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

December 10, 2005

Bry,

Please give Jules all your strength and love from the heavens. She will need you so much in the coming days...more than anyone can imagine. I know she can do it with your help. Please remind her that you are her angel and you are shoving her forward every tiny footstep. I think of her so much and wish that there was something I could do...some way to help her more...to be closer and wipe away her tears like I'm sure you would've done. I hope that what I say and do for her helps at least a tiny bit. But I know deep down, nothing can really erase the pain, the heartache, the questioning, the aching within her heart, soul, and mind. Bry, please help her and recruit your boys up there if they're not busy (Cole and Daniel!) ;P We will all see you guys soon!

Love,
GA Jess

December 10, 2005

B,
Please grant me strength, wisdom and knowledge that I need for a personal challenge tomorrow. I can't believe how quickly the two year EOW is coming. It is a feeling that I cannot explain. Sometimes dreading is much worse than the actual day. I find myself wondering what the events were leading up to that day, and how it became that someone made so many split second decisions leading up to your heinous murder. I realize the 13th is a 24 hour day, just like every 24 hour day. What is most painful is it marks the day when our lives were ripped and torn completely apart. My world ended in so many ways, and a nightmare began. I would never wish the feelings that I've endured on my worst enemy.


Yesterday I was thinking how soon it will be the two year marker, but in a way, it signals the passing into Year 3. Is that possible? Have I really been a widow that long? Again, it seems like 40 years since I have felt the way I felt when you were alive; whole, complete, full of love and thinking there was balance to this life. Time is so very different since you have died. One cannot measure the hours, minutes or seconds of lonliness, pain and grief. These emotional elements tend to slow time down considerably.


What is most important is how you are memorialized to those who love you, since you are loved by so many. As your wife, I have something planned for the 13th, and I feel like it's where you would want me to be. I also know that I will feel your presence because I always do when I go to this place. I am just hoping that after tomorrow, time goes by a little quicker. Help me to face every challenge that awaits, as I face various battles alone. I know you have helped me every step of the way, but the next month and a half will be continually rough.

I Love You
J.

December 7, 2005

Thinking of your family at this time, as they mark the second year anniversary of your passing next week and enduring the holidays without you. May God continue to shower them with His love.

December 6, 2005

Missing you immensely.

December 5, 2005

Rainin' You
Brad Paisley/Tim Owens (ASCAP)

When I looked out today
And saw that the sky was gray
I thought about the way
You loved days like this

And driving in to town
It really started coming down
Bringing me back around
To all that I miss

It feels like it's rainin' you
It feels like it's rainin' you

I didn't even run inside
Or worry about staying dry
Besides there nowhere I can hide
These feeling now

Running down my face
Takes me to another place
I can't think of another way to drown

It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you

If I had my way
It would do this every day
I would never see the sun
Because the closest I get
To holding you again
Is every time that sky opens up

It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you
It feels like it's rainin' you

December 3, 2005

Jules,
Just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you. I know that it is approaching two years. You have the double whammy of the "anniversary" and the holidays. Just keep your chin up and follow your heart. Bryan is watching out for you so just keep on moving forward.
Love,
Jennifer

Jennifer Waters
Mike Waters EOW 9/11/03

December 2, 2005

Thank you for the butterfly "sign" in my dream last night. I just woke up and realized that that was precisely what it was and I am thankful for your continual love and guidance. This time of the year I'm hanging tough, precisely as you would want, with much fierce tenacity. The things that I am holding onto right now are those qualities which always made you proud to call me your wife. You were right, I'm not passive and I always stand up for myself. I miss you so much.

I Love You
J.

December 2, 2005

B.,
This time of year is really, truly the hardest to endure. As most people are putting up trees, decorating, baking and celebrating, my heart breaks into a tiny million shattered pieces all over again. I can't believe that this will be the third Christmas without you. I don't think that it gets any easier this time of year, only more difficult. The days seem to drag on longer, the nights are colder without you and the ache in my chest grows much, much heavier. All the Christmas festivities are simply a grim reminder that you are gone. I pray to God that someday it won't always be like this, but I am weighed down so heavily right now with the constant reminders of what is coming, the two year EOW date. I am happy for you because I know you are in a much, much higher and happier plane. I am glad that you know no pain, fear or feelings of sadness. As human beings, sometimes emotions can do more harm than good. I can wonder and wish all day, but that doesn't change present day scenario. The remainder of my life is going to be spent without you and although I accept it, it doesn't make my love for you any less, or my heartache go away. I treasure every moment that we had and I always will, but it's highly unlikely that I will understand what the supposed "next step" is to be. I guess I had my happiness with you and for me, that will always be enough.

I Love You
J.

November 30, 2005

Thinking of you and your family. You are greatly missed. Always, The Parr's

November 28, 2005

Bryan,
This poem represents your wife clearly. From one police survivor to another, it is true that she did not give up in the very darkest hours. She has shared so much with so many other survivors and we have gained strength from her. I know you must be so proud of her for not giving up.


Don't Quit

Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.

Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

Poem by Jill Wolf

November 24, 2005

Honey~
This is the 2nd Thanksgiving without you and it is so hard to believe that we are approaching the 2nd year marker of your EOW date. The common myth is that time heals all wounds, which we know from experience that that saying is severely false. My world was incomplete the second you left this Earth and my heart will never be the same until we are reunited in Heaven. I realize I still have some years to go down here, so I am trying to make the best of it. Often times, it is more than an uphill battle.

Yesterday on the way to work I couldn't stop crying as I thought about our last Thanksgiving together. I had to work but you were off, and there is one memory in particular that I couldn't stop thinking of and that is what I hold near and dear to my mind forever.

Sometimes it is still so difficult to believe that this really is my life, now, without my husband, my love, my sweetheart, my best friend and my Soul Mate.

I will always love you and uphold ALL of our memories with invaluable admiration and longing for what was. Your memory and honor are solid within my soul.

Happy fly-fishing on Heaven's waters my dear! I can only imagine how
wonderful, colorful and beautiful the fish are but I also know you can't wait to show me when I get there.

Until we meet again My Love....

I Love You
Your Wife

November 24, 2005

HAPPY THANKSGIVING BRYAN, THINKING OF YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!

November 24, 2005

Bryan,

We already have most of our Christmas decorations out. We are going to go get some new blue lights to put out in your memory. I ask that you give the family strength to endure yet another holiday season without you. We all miss you ohh so very much.

November 23, 2005

Juli,
I know that upcoming holidays must be extremely difficult, as is any special day without your love. Just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers. Whenever you start to feel alone, know that Bryan is ALWAYS with you in your heart pushing you to continue on. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers!!

Bryan,
I know you and Jonathan have probably become great friends and enjoy many stories. Please continue to watch over us and give us the strength to keep going here without you next to us. Send Juli a great big hug!!

Tristen
girlfriend of Jonathan Walsh EOW 8/20/2004

November 23, 2005

Bryan,

I have decorated the entire outside of my home with blue lights. One of those blue lights has your name on it and will be lit in your honor every night from now until after New Years. It is my way of saying that you have not been forgotten. There are no words I can offer your family and close friends to help them with their broken hearts except that they should do every thing possible to keep your memory alive. As I said, you will never be forgotten and you are a true hero. If you run across my son Mike, please tell him I love him and miss him terribly.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

November 20, 2005

Sweetheart~
Approaching the holidays is never easy, but this season I am making myself super busy so that time passes as quickly as possible. I can only hope that I will wake up and it will be January 7th. I wish that Thanksgiving, the dreaded 2 year marker of your EOW, Christmas, New Years and your birthday would all be over already. Yes, I know it will never happen but it was worth a wish. I vividly remember what you always said about wishes. (ha ha!)
Honey, please give me the strength to endure yet another holiday season without you.

I Love You
Jules

November 17, 2005

B-
It is so hard to believe that today marks 23 months since you've been gone. The 13th is always such a sad day. There have been so many "firsts" without you and yet I find myself missing you more with every passing day. My love for you will continue to grow. I love you and I always will.

Love
Your Wife

November 13, 2005

Bryan,

Please hold Jules tight in your arms today as she celebrates another birthday without you. Please give her the strength and courage to make it through her special day.

Jules,

Happy birthday! I know Bryan is smiling down upon you and would want you to enjoy your special day.

Love and hugs,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

November 4, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULI!! MAY GOD CONTINUE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TOUGH TIMES!!

wife of brevard florida officer

November 4, 2005

Bryan-
I will be thinking of your precious Jules tomorrow..Friday..as it will be her birthday. I know that she doesn't want to think about it..but I know that you are looking down on her and just smiling, because she is doing such an awsome job of living her life to the fullest. Everytime I talk to her, she always inspires me, esp on the rough days.
JULES-Happy Birthday girl. Know Bryan is looking down on you and is so happy that you have made it so far. I love ya girl.

Jess Ruhl
Dan Starks Fiancee

November 3, 2005

Dear Bryan,
You would be so proud of Juli, reaching out to other wives even while she obviously is still wading through her own grief.
Thank you, Juli, for befriending my daughter Susan Parker at the Spouses' Retreat (Jon Parker, EOW 5/16/05).
May God richly bless you as you make a new and different life for yourself.
Love,
Debbie

Debra Brewer

November 2, 2005

Honey,
The Ghost and Gravestones tour last night was great. Thank you for the signs at the Villa Montezuma. This time of year makes me think of the last Halloween that we had together. I can't recall exactly how many times we went to the Niles Haunted House, but definitely more than once. I bought a pumpkin for you this year. Even though I know you can't carve it, it is the thought that counts. Remember how we had so much fun carving our pumpkins every year? We started the "tradition" the first year we started dating. On the first of October I was like "So, when are we getting our pumpkins?" You always kidded me about how it was too soon, but we were like 2 little kids when it came to Halloween. I still have the original "pumpkin carving tool set" that we bought together and all the various patterns. You were all about having the right tools for the task at hand :). The last Halloween we had together we decorated the house, and we finally got those bushes torn out from the front flower bed. I planted some mums and they were really beautiful. Then we went to Home Depot and got those solar lights. It looked so awesome after you put the red cedar chips down.

Well my dear, I just wanted to reflect on where we were October of 2003. We had so many great times together, but this season brings particularly great memories to mind.

I love you and I miss you.

Love,
Jules

October 30, 2005