Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Comfort

Surrounded by friends
yet all alone
the one I loved
God has called home
the hugs of friends
helps ease the pain
and I know my loss
is my loved one's gain
but tears now flow
across my face
as I long for just
one more embrace
then comfort comes
and I see Christ's face
He hugs my loved one
and I feel God's grace.

Author Unknown

December 23, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

December 23, 2005

You Are Never Forgotten

You are somebody that everybody knows
Wherever you are is where everyone goes
And I can't help but think about what I do now
Will I see you someday, will I find you somehow

The night follows day, the moon in the sky
The world keeps on turning and no one knows why
It goes and it comes it comes and it goes
Which ever direction nobody knows

Our times together though cut short were precious and dear
However it happened just may never be clear
I'm here but your gone I don't understand
But your leading the way always holding my hand

The night is too black those times I'm alone
The road seems to long, I wish you'd come home
And when the sun rises I look for you still
And then I remember and remember I will

The wind in the sails water covers the earth
The day of your birth and the day of your death
Mile after mile and after while the warmth of your heart
The shine of your smile they keep me going
The memories of love that's all I have left like the flight of a dove

Where are you now? Are you far, are you near?
Are you helping me live will you help make it clear
Wherever your going where ever you've been
Whomever you've known all of your friends

We all stand beside you we all love you still
We're missing you now and forever we will
We sing and we talk the world in our hands
We run and we walk while beside us you stand

For those who remain never let your love wait
When they're no longer here it's always too late
So we roll the days over again and again
And where we have ended, it's where we begin

And Yes -- stars they come and light -- yes they bring
The miracle of life a beautiful thing
We know not where we're going' we just know where we've been
The days we shared together the memories that will never end

Author Unknown

December 16, 2005

Celtic Woman The Soft Goodbye!

When the light begins to fade
and shadows fall across the sea,
one bright star in the evening sky.
your love's light leads me on my way.

there's a dream that will not sleep,
a burning hope that will not die.
so I must go now with the wind,
and leave you waiting on the tide.

time to fly, time to touch the sky.
one voice alone, a haunting cry.
one song, one star burning bright,
may it carry me through darkest night.

rain comes over the gray hills,
and on the air, a soft goodbye.
hear the song that I sing to you
when the time has come to fly.

when I leave and take the wind
and find the land that faith will bring,
the brightest star in the evening sky
is yours to find for me.

FRIEND

December 15, 2005

We will NEVER forget how you laid down your life for us!!!!!!!!!!!!We will make sure you are honored always!!!

December 15, 2005

Bryan,

Please forgive Mishawaka for not honoring you this year. What a huge disappointment after the sacrafice you and Tom made. Just know you were still honored.

December 14, 2005

Blue Against Blue
by Marjolein Bastin

This heavenly blue butterfly
will fly high in the sky,
higher and higher.

The sunlight will touch
the blue on its wings
until it seems to disappear.

We think it is gone,
because the blue of the butterfly
is the exact same blue of the sky.

We think it is gone,
because our eyes are too weak to see-
and it is difficult
to believe what we cannot see.

But the blue butterfly is not gone.
It is still flying,
higher and higher,
nearer the sun.

Blue against blue.
For now and forever.

December 14, 2005

You are in our thoughts and prayers today and every day...

Your friends & family,
MFD

December 14, 2005

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give

In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life

Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars

There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

December 14, 2005

Juli,
Sending you a million hugs and prayers. I know this day will never be easy, but know that Bryan is looking down watching out for you and sending you all the love and encouragement to help you through this day, and all the others.

Tristen
girlfriend of Jonathan Walsh EOW 8/20/2004

December 13, 2005

Bryan,
Yes, it's true that this is my first reflection. I read them but am usually crying too much to leave my own.I remember you and Jules used to fight like cats and dogs on the stupidest little things and I would tell you to stop it! But on all the important stuff you two were absolutely aligned. When I first met you, I had a good sense that you were good for my daughter and the years proved how much you loved her. Bryan, you treated me with such incredible respect and concern while teasing me mercilessly! Remember how we loved fighting for the dinner check? I loved you too. If I could have picked anyone in the world to love and marry my daughter it could have been no one better that you.
Any parent would rather give their life than see their daughter go through the grief that Juli has. And yet she has done it with incredible grace and strength and thoughtfulness.She is a Survivor and has been there for others in many ways. She is a different person than she was before your death.She has more of you in her. I see parts of you every day and I thank you for all the signs and hints you leave for us to know you are still around in spirit.
Keep us in your sights and continue to support Juli as she finds her new life.
Mother in Law,
Susan

Your Mother in Law, Susan

December 13, 2005

Bryan,

Please watch over Jeff today. I know he is thinking about you and misses you so very much. Please sit beside the guys as they are driving through their beats today. And please forgive the department for not honoring you and Tom EVERY YEAR the way they should.

Your Friend
MPD

December 13, 2005

Jules,
I am thinking of you and Bryan today. Please know that you are not alone in this. I understand the pain you are feeling. Bryan would be proud to know what a strong woman you are.
Love You Girlie,

Susan Parker
Wife of Trooper JW Parker EOW 5-16-05

December 13, 2005

It seems like yesterday that I sat crying in front of Bethel college as your service let out. We speak of you often but miss you everyday.
"Do not fear the light my brother but embrace it, for there are many waiting there to greet you. Stay close and be vigilant and greet those who follow."

MPD

December 13, 2005

My Dearest Husband,
Two years ago today I was forced into the harshest reality imaginable; a life without you. Something that I never thought about, and something that I never could have predicted. I wasn't awoken in the middle of the night by a knock on the door. I wasn't awoken by a telephone ringing. I was standing at the back doors of the ER when they brought you in. The time from when I initially got off the phone with the dispatcher, until the time that I actually saw you seemed like eons. In that time frame which was literally minutes, life seemed to slow down, almost to a complete stop. In my heart I actually knew what was happening, but my mind did not acknowledge so much and so many things. Never in a million years would I have imagined what happened next.


The lifesaving measures that I know and have performed for countless nameless others, was being performed on you. The color of your skin was horribly pale. It was the color that I know and associated with hypovolemic shock. Your veins were clamped down, which meant your blood pressure was non-existent. I remember the helpless look on Gerry's face as he walked out of the trauma room. I asked him "what happened?" He just shook his head because he wasn't there for the whole thing. All I knew was that I wanted answers. Is this really happening to us, I questioned this over and over again in my mind. I was allowed to see you as they worked on you. I walked into the trauma room, and your sock was half on and half off your left foot. I knelt at the head of your cot as the paramedics stayed to do compressions. My co-workers tried valiantly to save your life. It seemed like a plot from a really sad movie, it was so surreal. I will never forget the lab tech who gave me a pillow to put under my knees. I remember rubbing your head and telling you, "I Love You", over and over again. I remember looking at the cardiac monitor and knowing exactly what the outcome was going to be. I remember looking at the chest x-ray and seeing your left lung full of blood. I knew it was your film because I saw your Saint Michael pendant. It is bizarre the things that I remember---I remember vaguely the crowded surgery waiting room full of family, friends from Memorial Hospital and fellow officers. I remember thinking I should go talk to my brother, who was quietly sobbing in one corner of the room. I went to the bathroom to talk to Rachel and Kelly and I told them that the cardiothoracic surgeons were going to cross-clamp your aorta, retrieve the bullet and that you would be ok. I didn't know at the time where the bullet had gone, but I was certain that you were going to leave the hospital ALIVE, with me and that we were going home together. But, that didn't happen. I can still picture you in the PACU. The writing on your hand stood out to me. When you got calls you frequently would write addresses on your hand to refer to later. What is ironic is I always wrote on my gloves in the ER. Writing on the hands...such a small common detail that we shared. But of course, I remember even the smallest things that we had in common. There were so many, Bryan.


It is so sad that we never able to celebrate even one full year of marriage. What is hilarious is how we ate our wedding cake that we were supposed to save for the one year anniversary. I think we ate our cake like a week or so after we were married. It was still fresh, and oh, it was SO good. We didn't think we could get it home in our carry-on luggage. I am glad that we ate our cake together even if we didn't make it to our one year anniversary. When we took our vows as husband and wife, that was the happiest day of my life. When I had to attend your funeral was the saddest day of my life.


The things that make me smile now are memories of your imitations, the echo of your laughter through the house and remembering the sound of your footsteps down the hall. I can still laugh at so many things that we said or did.


I will never be able to encapsulate what life has been like without you. It has been the longest two years of my life. The pain of grieving is often too difficult to explain. Most people don't understand unless they have sustained the same loss.

I will always and forever be your wife, a fact that makes me proud. I know you are in Heaven and that someday we will be reunited. Next time around, we will finally get to be together forever.

Until then my Love...

I Love You
Your Wife

December 13, 2005

Bryan,

It is amazing that it has already been two years. I can vividly picture this day two years ago.... one of the worst days imaginable for your family. Please give Juli, Randy, Carolyn, Brett, and the rest of your family strength to endure this day without you. Bryan you are truly missed by sooo many.

December 13, 2005

Bryan
Remembering you and your family today as I do every day since you were taken from us all. We miss you deeply.
Love,
Christine

Christine Parr

December 13, 2005

Hey Bryan,
I am remembering you today and thinking of your precious Jules. I wish I was closer to her but I know she is remembering you in her own way. I wish you never had to die and I wish things were different, but I know you are watching down on her from Heaven. Send her some love won't you? She is so strong and couragous -- but needs the reassurance that you are still near. I will be remembering you all day today and want you to know I am grateful to police officers across the country that sacrifice so many things everyday for the safety of our communities. Thank You.

Jules, I am thinking of you so much today and want you to know I am so proud of you. I know you will be remembering Bry in a powerful way. You are so strong and such an inspiration to me in so many ways. I wouldnt have gotton through all that stuff I have without you..kickin me in the butt..getting me to counseling. :) You are a true friend and I want you to know Im thinking of you especially today. You have a heart of gold Jules, and Bryan knows that.
It's why he married you Im sure.

Love,
Jessica Ruhl
FIancee of Police Officer Dan Starks
EOW 10-25-03

December 13, 2005

Jules,

Thinking of you today even more than every other day. I know Bryan is so proud of how you have honored his memory and will continue to honor his memory. And I know he will be with you every step of life that you have left to live until you are both reunited again one day.

Love ya Jules,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Ofc. Duke G. Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

December 13, 2005

Bry,

Two years ago today you left your precious Jules. No words can express her heartache and the struggles she has faced without you, especially on dates like these. I just pray that you send her more love than ever. I know it will be another challenge that she will overcome with your help, but sometimes it seems so impossible to carry on just another minute. Please never forget or doubt her undying , everlasting love for you. Again, I wish there was more I could do from across the country, but unfortunately there is not. Remind her that you are forever with her if she will only take the time to listen and notice the small things. It is in the memories and laughter that we can sometimes find an ounce of comfort without you guys.

Please tell Cole and Daniel to help you out...they need to be doing something! ;P

JULES, I LOVE YOU!!!! I will call you later tonight!!

Jessi Garger
Cole Martin's fiancee EOW 4.25.03

December 13, 2005

THINKING OF YOU ON THIS DAY THAT HEAVEN CALLED YOU HOME. I PRAY FOR JULIE THAT THIS TIME PASSES WITH EASE AND GOD GIVES HER COMFORT KNOWING YOU ARE WITH HER NOW 24-7-365 AND THAT YOU COMFORT HER ALWAYS. GOD BLESS YOU AND REST IN PEACE BLUE ANGEL!!!

FRIEND

December 13, 2005

Julie, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. Unfortunately, I know all too well the pain you feel on the anniversary of your husbands death. I know exactly how you will be feeling today but you have to fight the urge to lay in bed and cry all day because that is not what Bryan would want for you. Try to do something today that is happy that involves Bryan. This way, you are still remembering him and keeping him alive all while you are doing something you know he would be happy to see you doing. You are in my prayers today and I hope you are "ok" today, if there is such a thing after losing your husbands like we have.
Love Denise

Denise Zimmerman
Surviving Spouse of NJ State Trooper Bertram Zimmerman 2-5-04

December 13, 2005

BRYAN, as a wife of an officer this day has once come, but within all reality the day IS NEVER GONE.We all miss you both so very much , that every day we miss that oh once so very touch. I want thank you both for watching out for us, the anniversary that has always meant alot for us. Either some guys are so strong and some guys are so weak, at least the strong are weak and the weak are strong, oh this very week. Remember us with laughter and tears, so that the way I will remember you all, if you can't remember us with laughter and tears, then don't remember us at all.
Missing you both, You are loved so much, I just want to thank you both oh so very much.

A Police Officers Wife
MPD
Mishawaka, In

EOW FOR MY FRIENDS 12/13/2003

December 12, 2005

Thinking of you, your family, Julie, friends, officers, and dispatchers as tomorrow approaches. Time passes so quickly, but your memory does not fade. Keep us strong.

Stephanie
MPD

December 12, 2005

Tomorrow Starts Without Me
by David M Romano

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had

If I could re-live yesterday
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

December 12, 2005