Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Words and Music by Dave Matthews Band

Oh, isn't it strange
How we move our lives for another day?
Like skipping a beat
What if a great wave should wash us all away?
Just thinking out loud
Don't mean to dwell on this dying thing
But look at my blood
It's alive right now,
And deep and sweet within
Pouring through our veins
Intoxicate moving wine to tears
And drinking it deep
Then an evening spent dancing
It's you and me...

This love will open our world
From the dark side we can see a glow of something bright
Oh, there's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away

Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life,
Is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years

Just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope back in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Oh, so don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Come sister, my brother
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone

Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There's bad times
But that's okay
Just look for love in it

And don't burn the day away...

Look, here are we
On this starry night, staring into space
And I must say
I feel as small as dust lying down here

What point could there be troubling?
Head down wondering what will become of me?
Why concern we cannot see
But no reason to abandon it
The time is short but that's all right
Maybe I'll go in the middle of the night
Take your hands from your eyes, my love
All good things must come to an end some time
But don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away...

Come sister, my brother
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come flooding in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone

Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There're bad times
But that's okay
Just look for love in it

ASCAP Bama Rags
Dave Matthews Band "Before These Crowded Streets"

May 17, 2006

“Friend in Blue”
We have worked together for many years;
it’s our voices ringing in your ears.
We try to make those long days brighter,
And hopefully, the load a little lighter.
We send you to the bar-room brawl.
And out in the rain to the nuisance call.
We worry about you day and night.
To make sure every call turns out all right.
We share your sorrows; we share your joys,
which is why we think of you as ... "Our boys."
Then why have we never said to you,
"I'm proud of you ... my friend in blue."

- Esther Corby

Rest in peace Blue Angel, for you are a true hero!

May 17, 2006

B, 5/17/06
It's hard to believe that today would have been our third wedding anniversary. It's extraordinarily hard because we never got to celebrate even one year together. I try not to examine and re-hash the "shoulda, woulda or couldas" because quite frankly, it is horribly painful. I know that you are so happy and free of pain and suffering on the Other Side, which helps relieve some of my pain. I have felt your presence so close of late. I know you are trying to ease the pain of missing you. I wrote this poem for us, to celebrate the day instead of being sad and mournful.

Anniversary from Above

Filled with sunshine, this light in the sky,
Filled with love, this dream of you and I.
Our love transcends death, this I know is true,
The facts are conveyed by the signs I receive from you.

My love is always yours and I cannot wait to reunite,
Your touch I still cling to dearly, on a raven's wings you take flight.
My love I still feel your presence, your strength and your love,
The only difference between then and now is that now you send it from above.

Written by JLV for BSV

Happy Third Wedding Anniversary!

I Love You, Now and Forever,
J.

May 17, 2006

"Look at every path closely and deliberately.

Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask

yourself and yourself alone one question. . . Does this

path have a heart? If it does, the path is good. If it

doesn't, it is of no use."

--Carlos Castenada

May 16, 2006

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in

injustice and tragedy. What the catepillar calls the end

of the world, the master calls the butterfly."

-Richard Bach

May 16, 2006

I thought of you Carolyn on Mother's Day, may the Lord have given you comfort on such a special day.

May 15, 2006

My Life is But a Weaving

My life is but a weaving between my God and me.
I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Often times he weaveth sorrow and I in foolish pride,
Forget he ses the upper and I the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the skilled weaver's hand,
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern he has planned.

-Author Unknown

May 15, 2006

I love you

I love you

I love you.

Thank you for the past few days. The polar bear was so awesome, I was certain that the last few days have been an awesome gift from you.

Thank you My Love.

May 14, 2006

Thought about your mom today, Mother's Day. I know you were looking down at her and embracing her with your angel's wings.

friend

May 14, 2006

Honey,
Thank you for the last few days. I am so glad that we are able to have family time.

I love you so much.

As time continually passes by, please know that no one or nothing will ever change my love for you.

May 12, 2006

I hope that you are still resting easy up there Bryan, and I pray that you are still watching over us.

Cpl. Egendoerfer
Mishawaka PD

May 10, 2006

J,

The love that you have for your husband is amazing.You lost him way to soon,I am so sorry for your pain.I find myself looking through the years reading your beautiful letters to him and I have sat here and cried for your lost love even though I dont know you.You are a strong woman and I wish you happiness.

D
South Bend Resident

May 9, 2006

The cry of the city like a siren's song
Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long
Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky
Must be someone's soul passing by

These are the streets
Where we used to run where your Papa's from
These are the days
Where you become what you become
These are the streets
Where the story's told
The truth unfolds
Darkness settles in

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength
To carry on, carry on

Don't wanna be a hero
Just an everyday man
Trying to do the job the very best he can
But now it's like living on borrowed time
Out on the rim, over the line
Always tempting fate like a game of chance
Never wanna stick around to the very last dance
Sometimes I stumble and take a hard fall
Loose(?) hold your grip off the wall

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on

I thought I saw him walking by the side of the road
Maybe trying to find his way home

He's here but not here
He's gone but not gone
Just hope he knows if I get lost

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on





2006-05-08

May 9, 2006

Julie: I lit a candle for you in Church last weekend. I asked God to give you comfort and watch over you as I am sure Bryan is doing daily. Please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Marianne
SB Citizen

May 8, 2006

Juli, Listen to the song Shine your light down on me! by Robbie Robertson. Its a beautiful song about hero's who have passed on.

May 7, 2006

Thank you for visiting me in my dreams. You know I needed to see you, if only for a little while.

I Love You!

May 6, 2006

In Memory of You

I find an old photograph
and see your smile.
As I feel your presence anew,
I am filled with warmth
and my heart remembers love.

I read an old card
sent many years ago
during a time of turmoil and confusion.
The soothing words written then
still caress my spirit
and bring me peace.

I remember who you used to be
the laughter we shared
and wonder what you have become.
Where are you now,
Where did you go,
When the body is left behind
and the spirit is released to fly?

Perhaps you are the morning bird
singing joyfully at sunrise,
or the butterfly that dances
so carelessly on the breeze
or the rainbow of colors
that brightens a stormy sky
or the fingers of afternoon mist
delicately reaching over the mountains
or the final few rays of the setting sun
lighting up the skies
edging the clouds with a magical glow.

I miss your being
but I feel your presence,
In whatever form you choose to take,
however you now choose to be.

Your spirit has become for me
a guardian angel on high
guiding, advising, and watching over me.

I remember you.
You are with me
and I am not afraid.

© 1996 Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

May 4, 2006

In Time of Sorrow




May you see God's light on the path ahead


When the road you walk is dark.


May you always hear,


Even in your hour of sorrow,


The gentle singing of the lark.


When times are hard may hardness


Not turn your heart to stone,


And may you always remember


You do not walk alone.


~A Celtic Blessing~

May 4, 2006

Angel In The Sky

Standing out against the crisp blue;
This Angel in the morning sky.
Face so beautifully soft and radiant;
Not a trace of pain.
Only peace and love showing through.
Wings outstretched; Inviting.
Eager to embrace.

This Angel in the sky; free.
Frolicking happily amongst wispy clouds and rainbows;
Reuniting with family and friends of days gone by,
along the way.

This Angel in the sky;
Forever guiding our footsteps;
Forever holding our hands;
Forever brushing away the tears of sadness from our
eyes,
and kissing our lips with love;

This Angel in the sky;
Forever having a sacred place of honor;
In the hearts and minds of those who love them, on
earth.

This Angel in the sky, forever a blessing.
Never to be forgotten.

Written by Joy S. Mixon

May 4, 2006

Bryan~

Another tragedy has struck Walkerton. As we prepare to bury 3 members of a family killed in an automobile accident on Sunday April 30, 2006. Keith Lynn Clark, his fiancee Alice Hudson, and their 9 year old daughter Kelsey Lynn Clark were all taken from us way to soon just as you were. These past two weeks have been terrible. We always hear about things happening in other parts of the country, but when it happens to us we never understand why. Keith was a dedicated firefighter for Walkerton for 12 years as well as an EMT and Reserve Police Officer in Hamlet. He took his emergency jobs very serious as you did. We will miss Keith, Alice, and Kelsey terribly. Please watch over them and tell them we will take care of Kirsten(their other daughter)

Rest in Peace ALL

Walkerton Citizen

May 4, 2006

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY AND MEMORIES A LANE, I'D WALK RIGHTUP TO HEAVEN AND BRING YOU HOME AGAIN!

thinking of you

May 4, 2006

Lately the days have not seemed easier, but more difficult. I don't know the rationale as to why, but I just know that I am so sad. I don't know if it is the fact that soon, our wedding day is fast approaching. I don't know if it is because of the tragic and senseless loss of another fine officer in Indiana.

Instead of celebrating our three year anniversary and the birth of our first son(or daughter, although you told me I would NEVER have a girl...lol), I am thinking of the fact we never got to celebrate even ONE year of being marrried to one another.

Bryan, I miss you so much. I keep telling everyone about what you were like, OUR life, what we shared together, where we were going...but the bottom line is this; I miss US. It's hard sometimes to describe to those that didn't see us together. I remember how all of my nurse friends down at the hospital would tell me how awesome we look together, and how you can tell how much we loved each other by seeing us together for a short amount of time. I used to get flushed in the cheeks when I saw you..I remember the feeling that I got when I laid eyes on you. These things I cannot find words to describe. I remember the last time I saw you walking towards me at the Med Center and after you left Margy told me how she could tell how much we loved each other by seeing us together. It was just that clear.

Every photo I look at us together I see it now. And I miss the way I felt when you were alive. To be loved wholly and completely is a sensation that I just cannot find adequate words to describe.

I also don't know how to describe the effects of a tragic murder and the changes that one must try to become accustomed to. One of my widow friends told me that 90 % of her life was gone because she had had 2 daughters with her husband before he died. I think it's safe to say 99.96 % of my life is gone.

As time passes, it becomes increasingly clear that I will never experience motherhood. I tried to think a million times of how awesome our kids would have been. We talked about getting them on skates as soon as they could walk. We talked about the Olympic athletes that they would have become. We talked about how if it was a boy we would want him to have the your chin, but if it was a girl we were not hoping for the chin trait to be passed on :) We had names picked out whether it was a boy or a girl. We talked about our son or daughter potentially getting a full ride scholarship to Notre Dame. There were so many hopes and dreams that we had, Honey.

I have come to terms that the dream of being a mother is over. Not only because YOU were the one that I wanted to be the father of my child, but because it is far too late in life for me. There isn't a second chance to go back in time. I only wanted the dream of parenthood with You, and that dream died with you; as did countless numerous other dreams that we had.

I remember at National Police Week they said the shorter amount of time one is married, the more traumatic it is. I believe that whole-heartedly my love.

I can only live life as it is and wonder what is next. "It is what it is" has become a motto. Knowing that I have no control over the next events of life is true acceptance. Living will never change the longing, the desire for a life that once was what I had always dreamed of, a beautiful life with you.

Missing You,
J.

May 2, 2006

Bryan - you are not forgotten by any of us here in SB. Rest in peace and continue giving Julie comfort. She loves you dearly and misses you greatly. Watch over our men and women in blue and thank you for your service to our community.

Marianne
SB Citizen

May 1, 2006

"When I Get Where I'm Going"
(feat. Dolly Parton)

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

Music and words copyrighted
by Brad Paisley

May 1, 2006

What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.

-Buddhist saying

April 28, 2006