Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I remember how much you loved U2, so I will leave one of their latest and greatest hits for you here.

"Beautiful Day"

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

Music: U2
Lyrics: Bono
From the CD "All That You Can't Leave Behind"

October 17, 2006

A million times I've missed you,
A million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.

To some you are forgotton,
To others just part of the past;
But to me who loved and lost you,
Your love will always last.
It broke my heart to lose you, you didn't go alone;
For my life went with you sweetheart,
The day God called you home.

For things on earth didn't matter, but now I feel so alone.
My heart will always be broken,
My life will never be whole,
Until I see you again on God's golden shore.

God's garden must be beautiful for you are there to stay, The rose of love within me will bloom again someday.
We might be parted for awhile,
Our hearts will always be together for one day soon,
We will hold hands again forever.

Author Unknown

October 17, 2006

Miss you.
Love you.
Forever in Our Hearts....

October 16, 2006

BSV,

You are so greatly missed and loved. I will always hold you and your family close to my heart and always be in my thoughts and prayers.

Christine

Christine Parr

October 15, 2006

Today marks the fact that it is only 2 months from your 3 year EOW. Unbelievable. You are missed my friend.

October 13, 2006

NEVER WILL WE FORGET WHAT YOU GAVE UP FOR US!!!!!! TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE AT A YOUNG AGE AND GIVE UP THE BEAUTIFUL FAMILY YOU HAD FOR SUCH A SHORT TIME WE THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU SACRIFICED ON DECEMBER 13TH, 2003 PATROLMAN VERKLER!!

October 10, 2006

My Love,
I saw you in my dream last night but then we were separated. For that instant in time, I felt the way I felt when you were alive, which was full of love and happiness. God, how I miss you. Everything about you echoes in my mind, and it will take just the slightest thing to remind me of the small things I miss. The curvature of your fingertips, your side profile, the way you wore your hat, your smile, your voice, the way I felt when I heard your voice and you wrapped your arms around me....Well, the list could go on and on.

One of the things that I love the most is that no matter how much time elapses, I can close my eyes and envision these things. Believe it or not, one or two of your hats and your shirts still have a slight scent of you. It is so awesome. Someone once told me to write things down that I loved about you that I didn't want to forget a couple of months after you were killed. I have a couple of pages in my journal that I can reflect on whenever I want which is also totally cool.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you, I miss you and in my mind I will always and forever be your wife. Nothing can change that. This universe could crumble tomorrow, but our love lives on forever. Thank you baby for your gifts that you still give me.

Love,
Your Wife

October 10, 2006

Today, I made another big step towards new beginnings. It makes me feel so good to be getting back to something I know and loved so much.

October 3, 2006

Changes are finally coming along. I appreciate the changes and I finally feel ready to accept the various challenges that those changes entail. I am glad that you are able to know me so well and still help me from the Other Side. Thank you.

October 2, 2006

Thank you for the butterfly today. I needed to see that and I thank you so much.

October 1, 2006

I miss you.
Although I knew the minute you died that nothing would be the same, I had hoped for some semblance of a life.

I don't know if that will ever happen for me.

September 28, 2006

I've been here at your page before but wanted to let you know that you have not been forgotten nor will that ever be the case. Heroes never die and you are a true hero. Someone sent me this poem and I'd like to leave it for your loved ones to read.

Poem by Richard Fife:

No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
And what they did,
And who they were,
Becomes a part of all that we are,
Forever.

Keep looking after your loved ones. They think of you every hour of every day and I know the tears still flow from their broken hearts.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Gold Star Father

September 21, 2006

Julie, You can clearly see your healing process and I think your an example for new survivors that there is a process but you eventually get there. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you continue on the road to a new happiness.

Proud wife of an LEO

September 20, 2006

Things still continue to change as time goes on. Some of the changes are so new and scary, others changes that I make or have made feel good. I also feel that I am finally finding a new way of life since you died. Although it is commonly referred to as the "new normal" I don't prefer that term. Life shouldn't be referred to as "normal". It is so totally random the way things go down, and you definitely never know what is going to happen next. Thinking that you can control what happens next is such a hallucination.

I noticed that I don't plan like I used to, for fear of those plans ending so suddenly as ours did on 12/13. I can't believe it will be 3 whole years in less than 3 months. It has been a long, hard road to surviving to say the least.

On the flipside, I have grown into a much stronger person and I have learned a great deal from the hand that life has dealt me. I frequently refer to the fact that if life hands you lemons, you have 2 choices. You can be bitter and sour for the rest of your life or you can make lemonade. I chose to make lemonade and I am thankful for that.

Please continue to watch over me and send me your guidance. I have a lot of big decisions coming and I really need your help.

I miss you so much.

Love,
Your Wife

September 19, 2006

WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECOMES A MEMORY THE MEMORY BECOMES A TREASURE!

September 16, 2006

BSV~

I am so totally thankful for the reuniting of family and great friends. Thank you so much for giving me the courage, strength and wisdom that you have instilled in me.

Yesterday I heard "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes. Although it was sad and I cried, I felt you holding me so close. Also, thanks for playing "How Far to Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys and for giving Heidi two cents when she needed them yesterday. Of course, it was the correct change :):)

I know you will be at PU stadium today, but please give us some luck of the Irish today as well.

I Love You

Your Wife
Juli

September 9, 2006

Julie, I hope you are really ok.

September 7, 2006

I should totally be sleeping right now but I just can't. It's approaching 0412 hrs already. I can't believe time is finally seeming a little different than what it once was. It's almost TIME for something that I have been waiting to do for a long time.

ND Football season is well underway as of last Saturday. It's looking like a great season. Sorry bout the Boilers this year..LOL :)

Thank you for all that you do from the Other Side. You know I am stoked for my time to see you again, but thanks for helping to make my life seem worth sincerely living again.

I love you

September 6, 2006

"Who Knew"

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

ASCAP by Pink
from the CD "I'm Not Dead" (2006)

September 5, 2006

I am close to achieving a goal that I set after you died. I know you are proud and I cannot believe I am so close now.

Thanks for the sign yesterday..I needed it :)

August 31, 2006

I miss you and what our lives once were. Although I know I can never go back and re-live everything, I still miss that period of my life where we experienced such a fulfilled life together. I miss your love and all of the things that our love meant to one another.

August 27, 2006

~B~
Please be there for Gary and his family during this tragic time!

August 23, 2006

"When we surrender to our Soul's guidance, we realize the greater picture of our lives. We also become aware of the help we receive to be free from burdens of the past, or from negative energies that prevent us from seeing our inner strength and beauty. When we consciously surrender to the Soul within, we easily forego all else with simplicity and whenever necessary."

- Meditating With the Angels by Sonia Cafe

August 21, 2006

The other day I was thinking about our summer vacation when we went to Lake Michigan every day. Remember when you lost your Oakleys in the lake? I was thinking about how great you said that that was because it was so relaxing.

I was telling someone about the time you sent me flowers to work saying that they were sent by J.B. instead of you but yet the words were in your handwriting. You had such an awesome sense of humor and my GOD...I miss that so much in addition to everything else.

I saw an old Thunder Chicken the other day in the gym parking lot. Believe it or not it was older than yours was before you got the Jeep (ha ha!).

Things still seem like they continously change since you died. I cannot say that all the changes have been good or that they have all been bad. I can't even say 1/2 and 1/2 because it has been such a long ardous process to get to even where I am now. I find it hard to believe that it will be three full years in December. Could that be possible that I have lived that long without you by my side? Apparently time is telling me yes.

I have decided to do something next month that I hadn't thought I would be doing, but I think it will be great for my healing process. I know you will support me every step of the way.

You will and forever be My Love, My Husband, My Best Friend. I miss you.

August 21, 2006

I miss you, B. I hope you and Tom are taking care of Jerry.

MPD Employee
Mishawaka Police

August 18, 2006