Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I can not believe how fast 3 years came upon us!! God bless
you and Tom on this 3rd year with the lord. Rest in the arms of the angels.

November 26, 2006

I came upon this site because of Christopher Daniels (Daytona Florida)I have read a few of the officers on here
and yours is such a "Love Story" I can not imagine the pain you have indured these past 3 years or even how you got to this point! I am married to a police officer here in Florida and I worry so much about my husband, he works in a high risk area too. I have developed anxiety and am now on medicine to help. I want you to know that no one knows how you feel until they have lost someone the same way you did!I will keep you in prayer and hope one day you find happiness again.

November 24, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving up there!

November 24, 2006

Please give me strength to get through the start of the holiday season. So many people are so excited for Thanksgiving this week and it is hard because the X-mas stuff keeps coming earlier and earlier. I can't wait until January....lol

November 21, 2006

Yesterday, an officer went down from Kern County, CA. I was thinking about how much fun we had there on our honeymoon. Please welcome that officer to the Other Side. I have no doubt you were there for him.

November 15, 2006

Seeing butterflies in November would normally seem like a strange phenomenon, but not so much since i needed to see a sign from you. Thank you.

November 15, 2006

Verk, I am sure you got a little chuckle out of my heartfelt message with the WRONG date! I had just read Juli's reflection saying starting the 4th year, and 4 stuck in my head!! So Sorry! I know it is the 3 year anniversary, and you know I was never good with numbers!! Re-DO! :)

Tracy

November 15, 2006

Verk, Even though you have been gone almost 4 years now, I just found your website a few weeks ago. I can't leave it without sharing some thoughts about you. I had the privilige of attending high school with you, and getting to know you there. There are a few things about you that just instantly pop into my mind when your name is mentioned: the fact that we could see you on the other side of the school down the hall because you stood at least a head taller than everyone else, that awesome kermit the frog imitation, and your great sense of humor! Of course, everyone knew you were a great athlete, and a very well rounded person who loved his friends and family very much. I especially remember how close you and your mom were. I see her every now and then and chat with her for awhile. I can't believe how well she has done through this nightmare. She is a tower of strength and grace. You were right, she is awesome!
We lost touch after high school, but I see that you were married to a woman who loves you very much. I am so sorry that you weren't able to spend more time together. It seems in this world that people don't find true love much anymore, and it saddens me to see that one couple that did wasn't able to grow old together.
However, in all of the sadness that your death brought, I rejoiced in the fact that you made a committment to God, and I can rest assured that you are in heaven now. I know it is a little selfish to be so sad about your death because you were spared the imperfect life down here to be taken home to perfection. We should be glad that you are safe, happy and sitting with the maker of the universe, and we are. But, our hearts hurt in the way you were taken, and for the people left here that needed you so much. I still can't believe that you are gone, and the fact that we are approaching the 4th anniversary of your arrival in heaven just seems unreal. I can't imagine the things you are seeing in heaven, but I look forward to being there one day myself! I continue to pray for your family and loved ones left here to remember you. It is hard to understand why things like this happen, and I guess I have decided that I will never understand it. And, I have had to deal with the fact that sometimes it isn't for us to understand, but to have more faith that God will lead us through these things. And someday, they will seem like the blink of an eye compared to eternity with our Father. We will always remember you, and your sacrifice for all of us, as well as the sacrifice your wife and familiy have had to make becasue of it. Enjoy the life you have now, and if you could, ask God to give those left here who mourn the peace that can only come from Him. Thank you for the life you led, the memories we all treasure, and the sacrifice you made. We will see you in heaven! Tracy

Tracy
classmate

November 15, 2006

Holidays are fast approaching....my how I hate this time of year. Every year it comes sooner and sooner. Costco already had trees and lights up 2 weeks ago. Can you believe that? I have changed so much it really feels like the changes just coming. I would love so much just to feel some sort of stability, some sort of finality like "here I am, I finally made it to where I want to be"....but I guess I have to keep my chin up and continue to suck it up.

Life is not what it should have been for us, that is true. We both knew from our chosen professions (an ER nurse and a cop...go figure LOL)that nothing in this life was for sure and there are no guarantees and yes, the mere fact that life is never fair. However, that being said I think we both felt like once we found one another and finally became an "US", life was going to somehow, someway be fair for us.

Well, that we were wrong baby. Severely wrong. Injustice prevails, criminals continue to live while the innocent suffer and die, and people merciless commit random acts of violence for no known reason. And here we are, almost 4 years to the day to live and tell our story.

I have been thinking so much about how life still continues to be unfair. At some point in time, one would think that perhaps things would "even out" but that is another myth that we can put to rest.

I will always and forever love you. There is such a large part of my Soul and Spirit that is dedicated to remembering what our lives were like, telling stories of how we were as a couple and wanting the feeling that I had when you were alive. Although I know that I can't get back what I had, I will mourn the loss. I find it funny that people still think that I am "stuck in the moment" so to speak. Those that no longer know me or who I am can continue to talk smack all that they desire. The only people that really know me are now far and few between. It is true that I have had to change so much after you died. Pieces of me died with you, and pieces of me have grown stronger, more resilient, wiser and more spiritually enlightened than I ever would have imagined in a thousand years. I have lived a lifetime worth writing about in the past 4 years. My whole life feels like a huge book with different chapters. My only wish is to go back and re-open the part of the book with OUR chapter.

My love for you will never die.

Until we meet again My Love,

I love you,

November 14, 2006

Juli, you are amazing! I have read all your reflections and you can clearly see the journey you have traveled the last 3 years and the healing process you have gone through. I will bet you have no idea how you got here?? I can tell you that Brian carried you to the spot you are in and will always be there till you are reunited in heaven!!! God bless you!!

November 14, 2006

Today just plain sucks. I don't know particularly why but it just does. I got some news that I didn't want to hear and of course it just further confirms the fact that another year of my hopes are coming to an end.

Is it really going to be the start of Year 4 soon? I have a hard time believing that.

What I wouldn't do to hear your voice tell me everything will be alright......

I Love You B!

November 9, 2006

Bryan,
I was in town on Monday for the first time in over a year. Brought back a lot of great memories. I miss you, big guy. Missy and I talk about 'what Verk did' a lot. Talked to Chad the yesterday, we're going to get together soon and knock one back for you. :)

Nathan

Nathan

November 8, 2006

Mrs. Verkler,

WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOUR HUSBAND GAVE UP FOR US!!! WE LOVE YOU AND HONOR YOU TOO!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU NOW AND FORVER!!!

November 8, 2006

Wow....honey...
There seems to be a sudden surge on your website that I check daily, sometimes several times a day.

All I can say is...thank you to all of the citizens and family that continue to love and respect my husband for the Ultimate Sacrifice that he made.

My respects to you that do not forget.

Love,
Bryan's Wife

November 8, 2006

Time will never let anyone memories fade of how heroic you were that night of 12/13/03!

So glad that there are warriors such as yourself to keep us safe!!!

All those doubters and haters can be put to rest.

November 8, 2006

I guess its true that time heals but time should not let you fade in anyones memories, let us not forget that you died for us!!

November 7, 2006

"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who

wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither,

deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a

fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall

spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the

crownless again shall be king."

J.R.R. Tolkien quotes (English writer and author of richly inventive epic fantasy The Lord of the Rings, 1892-1973)

November 7, 2006

“Nothing in this world is a gift. Whatever must be learned

must be learned the hard way.”

Carlos Castaneda

Your Spirit will always live on.....
Forever in Our Hearts...

November 7, 2006

BSV~

I notice the reflections are slowing down and I want you to know that you will always be remembered and never forgotten =) Rest in peace Bryan!

November 7, 2006

I always thought I was the only one who would stay faithful to my husband in death, I read all the different wifes and husbands on this sight and see such a large scale of mourning time. I don't think I can ever re-marry and go on because I love my husband sooooo much!! I just read a reflection for an officer in Ohio who died just about a year ago and the wife already met someone and has told him in her reflections that she is healed and has moved on. I know everyone greives diffrently, but I think that is too soon. I respect you for the respect you have for your husband and you remind me of myself. God bless you and know your not alone.

November 2, 2006

"Through Glass"

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You cant expect a bit of hope
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
Its just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
feels like home, sitting all alone inside your heaaaaddd

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah yeah

Ohhhoh when the starrs
Ohhh oh when the starrrrs that liieee


Lyrics and music copyrighted by Stone Sour
From the CD "Come What(ever) May" (2006)

November 1, 2006

You both are a blessing to my life.

Love,
Linda R.

Linda Rittenhouse
Matt's Mom

October 28, 2006

I went to one of our honeymoon spots since I sought solace and peace. It brought me so much comfort and I felt you holding me so close. I kept hearing you tell me how proud you were of me for my recent accomplishments. You are truly one of the only people who how hard it has been for me to overcome and survive. Life of course is never easy, but when we got married I never thought in a million years that you would die in seven months.

Your moments were right, and so are mine. I would not go back and re-do or change anything. I love you for giving me the strength to be so resilient.

I looked up the definition of resilient to make sure that I had spelled it correctly, and I feel like the definition fits me perfectly.

I Love You and miss everything about you.

October 25, 2006

Things still don't seem to go according to plan. You think you know someone or something and it all changes abruptly, without explaination of rationale or cause. I hope that I don't have to go through this very many more times in my life, as it brings me much anger, bitterness and doubting for what the future could bring. There are so many people that are full of themselves and only want to bring misery to others. It is really so sad that there sole purpose is an attempt to bring others down.

I love you.

October 25, 2006

Thank you for the serious protection that you gave me today. A very close call. Thank you, guess it wasn't my time after all.

October 17, 2006